


The Dawn of Autumn

by Forever_Without_Him



Category: Pretty Little Liars, emison
Genre: AU, AU Emison, Biker Emily, Book Tie Ins, F/F, Mystery, Original Characters - Freeform, Plot Twists, Romance, Secrets, fetus Emison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 452,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Without_Him/pseuds/Forever_Without_Him
Summary: Alison DiLaurentis rules her town with a sharp tongue and an even sharper attitude. But she meets her match when Emily Fields, rebel with a cause rolls into town on her motorcycle and captures Alison's attention, and her heart. But there is more to Emily than meets the eye. Her mysterious past begins to bleed into her future, and it invokes Alison to go on the ride of her life.
Relationships: Alison DiLaurentis/Emily Fields, Emison - Relationship, Hanna Marin/Caleb Rivers, Mike Montgomery/Mona Vanderwaal, Pam Fields/Wayne Fields
Comments: 36
Kudos: 89





	1. Six Weeks in September

**A/N:** _Hi, everyone. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been victimized by my emotional rollercoaster mess of a mind? *stares out into audience* Wow, um...that’s a lot of hands._

_If you’re fresh off of “Tapestry of Scars”...how ya doing, fam? Need to send me your therapy bills? Heh._

_If you have read my work before and you’re still here to support me even after I’ve wrecked you...thanks for being in it for the long haul. If you’re a newbie, hi, I’m very friendly. I won’t bite. I promise._

_This fic will be slightly different. Really brief overview…it will be a blend of the book world and the show world. I’m putting my own spin on things. It is by far the lightest of my stories. Doesn’t mean there won’t be *some* discomfort and bad juju. There are going to be some things that make you go, "wait, what?" But I assure you...it's never what you think.  
_

_I only have one request. Be nice. Remember that I write and share for free. All fanfic writers do. We chip off a piece of our heart and bleed our souls into our art. I do this because I love it. Don’t make me regret that love. I say this not because of anything I’ve encountered (people have been generous to me here in the past), but because of what I’ve seen others encounter. The fandom, as a whole, has collectively taken a nosedive into being really negative to each other. I’m not about that life. But by all means, if a character is acting like a dick, you can call them the Dipshidiot King of Douchebaggastan. Just don’t hate just to hate._

_Given the state of the world with this COVID-19 pandemic, I thought we could all use a little escape. Everyone stay healthy. Stay safe. And be kind to one another._

_Hope you enjoy the ride._

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

**Six Weeks in September**

The thing Emily had missed the most about living in the northeast was the vibrant season of fall. She remembered the way the sky had looked like it was aflame bursting with fiery embers of reds and yellows from the backseat of her father’s SUV the day they’d moved away. The sky had been so blue that day. And the sun shining through the leaves had made them nearly translucent.

September in Pennsylvania had been one of her favorite things when she was younger, because that’s when the leaves slowly started to change shades. They didn’t hit their peak until October, but Emily had always loved beginnings, and September was the beginning of fall.

Before they moved she’d often taken trips with her parents to see the foliage. She had always been mesmerized by the colors. Every time she saw the beauty of autumn she would close her eyes and wish that September could last for forever. That had actually been her birthday wish once. She’d wished that September was longer.

There was a period between the end of summer and the beginning of school that felt so serene. She enjoyed summers with her friends. But there was one summer in particular that she would never forget. The summer she had her first kiss. It was just another reason to love September.

September had given her a lot of great memories. It had given her a lot of moments with her friends. It had given her a lot of moments with her parents, too, but that was before she’d screwed everything up. It had been almost six years since they’d seen the last of autumn in Pennsylvania. Emily had changed a lot in those six years.

Rosewood was a small town compared to San Antonio, Texas, where Emily had spent the past four years of her life. The army base where her father had worked was much bigger than Rosewood.

She’d been born in Pennsylvania and had spent a good amount of her childhood in Rosewood, but the memories seemed like a lifetime ago. They were like a murky vision of something underwater. She could see it just enough to know it was there. But she couldn’t see the entire picture.

The town had seemed so much larger to her when she was a little girl. She’d spent her childhood years riding her bike through the close quarters of the town. She played on the playground and made friends everywhere she went.

She’d always had an alluring personality, even as a child. People would follow her anywhere. And she usually took them on adventures. Rosewood had been a huge world to explore. But now, it seemed so docile. And tiny. There was a quaint feel to it.

Moving from state to state for her dad’s job had opened her eyes to just how big the world truly was. Right before Emily started sixth grade they’d moved from Pennsylvania to California, which had been a huge culture shock for her. They’d been there for about a year before her father had been reassigned to Texas. Now she was back in the small little town that had been her first playground to finish her senior year of high school.

She was on a different side of town that she wasn’t as familiar with, but she was hoping a ride around would help jog her memory of the area.

She hopped down from the back of the large moving truck holding the last box. She took a moment to try and balance it before walking towards the house. She was almost at the front door when she heard a lilting laugh wafting through the air. She turned back and looked across the street.

A blonde girl that looked to be around her age was sitting on her front porch with two other girls. The two other girls were engaged in some kind of conversation, but the blonde was staring at Emily through her designer sunglasses. Emily couldn’t prove that’s where the girl was looking, but she felt it. She could feel her gaze.

The girl looked like the kind of girls she avoided in her old school. But there was something different about the way she carried herself. The girl lowered her sunglasses and Emily lifted her hand without even thinking about it and waved. The box slipped down her front and she nearly dropped it, but she was able to steady herself at the last minute and get her grip back.

The blonde didn’t wave back.

“Way to win friends, Emily,” she muttered to herself. She shrugged and turned around. “I was a dumbass for thinking some snobby Rosewood priss would give me the time of day.”

“Did you say something, Emmy?”

Emily looked up and saw her father, Wayne walking towards her.

“No. Just bitching at the box for trying to take a flying leap out of my arms.” Emily met him at the bottom of the porch steps.

“Language.” He frowned. “Here, let me.” He took the box from her.

She could see the sweat soaking through his shirt. He hadn’t taken one break since they’d gotten back to town. He was used to staying on the go.

“You should really be taking it easy, old man.” Emily gave him a hard time.

She was being sincere. He’d had a scare with his heart six months ago. It had scared the shit out of Emily and her mother. But he’d been fine ever since.

“My cardiologist says I’m perfectly fine for duty, so I can move a few boxes.”

The laugh from across the street echoed through the air again. Emily glanced back at the girls. She tried not to stare.

“You remember the DiLaurentis family, don’t you?” He asked.

It finally dawned on Emily why the street had looked so familiar to her when the moving truck had rolled into town. She recognized the yard from being in Alison’s treehouse years ago.

“ _That’s_ Alison DiLaurentis?”

The girl had grown up to be a Goddess, which wasn’t a surprise to Emily. The blonde had always been one of the prettiest girls she’d ever seen. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Dimples. The whole package. She’d been cute when she was younger, but she was a bombshell now.

She’d been the first girl Emily had a crush on. Emily had never told her how she felt. After she’d moved away she’d never gotten the chance. But she’d never forgotten her. Alison had been her gay awakening. Though, she didn’t know that’s what it was at the time.

Alison had been her first kiss. It hadn’t been anything memorable. It had been a dare at Alison’s sleepover in fifth grade. Emily had always assumed she’d been invited to out of pity, but the way Alison looked at her the entire night made her feel otherwise.

They’d been playing “Truth or Dare” up in Alison’s treehouse and a girl named Hanna Marin had dared Alison to kiss another girl. Emily had been right across from Alison, so Alison had pointed to Emily and motioned with her index finger to come over to her. They’d pecked on the lips.

All the other girls had giggled and talked about how they were married, because that’s how getting married worked. Emily had felt her face get hot. And she’d felt a tingling sensation in her body. But she had played it off. Alison had smirked at her before pulling back and sitting back down.

They’d never talked about it. Emily assumed Alison just chalked it up to a game. The next day they’d gone back to their respective friend groups and rarely ever crossed paths. Then Emily had moved.

Now that she was looking at her again she felt that rush of emotions she’d felt when they’d kissed.

Emily padded up the stairs and walked over to the porch swing. She sat down and sighed. Her dad put the box down and walked over to her. It was kind of surprising, because they hadn’t really talked much the past few weeks. She’d felt alienated and pushed away from them ever since she’d told them the truth about herself.

“Why so glum, chum?” He plopped down beside her.

“I’m just tired.” Emily shrugged.

“I know you’re bummed about the move, kid, but you’ll make new friends. You always do.”

Emily had always been adaptable. She was a friendly girl. And she knew how to navigate the world of both girls and boys. She could be at a sleepover painting nails one night and then at the gym working on her jabs and sparring with the boys the next day. She was a social chameleon. If moving around had taught her anything, it was how to adjust.

Leaving her old high school a year shy of graduating had brought on a lot of mixed emotions. On one hand, she was going to miss everyone. But on the other hand she was glad to get out before she became the talk of the town.

“I’m actually kind of looking forward to the fresh air. And not feeling like I’m dying in the heat. Maybe I can keep the purple from melting out of my hair.”

“Your mother nearly had a heart attack when you came home with it.” He reached up and ran his fingers along the purple streaks in Emily’s hair.

“Mom freaks out when I breathe.”

Though the day she’d come home with purple in her hair her mother had nearly blown a fuse. Because _“what would the neighbors think?”_

Emily had only made it worse by saying,

_“The neighbors are the ones who dyed it.”_

But Emily knew exactly what her mother meant. She meant her evangelical friends who judged everyone based on their appearance. Everything was a sin. Except of course the sins people liked to pretend didn’t exist in the bible, like adultering and eating shellfish and playing with pigskin.

Her mother’s virtuosity made her mad. The fact that she couldn’t be who she wanted to be in her own house was hard for her. Her mother’s reaction had pissed her off so much that the next day she went out and got a tattoo, though she kept that hidden from her parents. She’d had a friend whose cousin was a tattoo artist. She’d lied on the forms and showed a fake ID at the parlor. It wasn’t anywhere visible. She’d made sure of that. She didn’t need people seeing it when she was shooting through the water during swim meets.

Her swimming had also been a huge part of who she was, but those days were over. Her dream of making it into a college on a swimming scholarship was not going to happen.

Her dad twisted her hair.

“I’d never tell your mom this, and if you tell her I’ll deny it. But I think it’s cute. Gives you character. Besides, I thought it was one of the least problematic ways to rebel…”

“I wasn’t rebelling. I just liked the way it looked.”

“Kinda wish _that_ had been your rebellion,” he muttered.

And there it was. The tone she’d been acclimating herself to. Her mother was much worse, but the sting felt deeper when her dad judged her.

“Again, wasn’t a rebellion, dad.” She pushed herself to her feet. “I know you and mom don’t get it, and I’m sorry I’m a disappointment…”

“Emmy, you’re not…”

“I’m going to check out the gym. The rec center looked promising, but I think the gym might have things more my speed.” Emily cut him off. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I want to see what kind of equipment I’ll be working with. Is my bike still on the trailer?”

She’d wanted to drive it from Texas, but her mother told her she was absolutely not driving across the country on the bike.

“No. I already unhauled it. It’s in the garage.” He motioned towards the carport attached to the house. “You know, you might want to think about something a little more responsible.”

“Since when have I been responsible?” Emily retorted sarcastically.

“Please don’t. I don’t feel like fighting with you. Being stuck between you and your mother is hard enough. Don’t forget why we’re here in the first place. We have sacrificed a lot for you…”

“I didn’t ask you to.” Emily muttered.

She tried not to be angry. But she couldn’t help it. She had a lot to be angry about. She had a lot weighing on her mind.

She bolted down the porch stairs and walked around to the carport. Her motorcycle was up near the right side of the carport. Dozens of unpacked boxes were filling up the rest of the space. She squeezed into the mess of boxes and threw one leg over the seat and grabbed her helmet. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and wrapped it into a messy bun and then pulled the helmet on over her head. She kicked the kickstand back. She reached for the key, which she’d left in the ignition, so she wouldn’t lose it in the move, and she turned her baby on.

Her bike had been the first big thing she’d ever splurged on. She’d been saving money since she was fourteen, when she started her first job. She’d gotten her first gig babysitting her neighbor’s kids. When she was fifteen she was working bussing tables at a small mom-and-pop shop. She liked being able to make her own money. It had taught her the value of hard work.

She’d saved up and bought the bike the day she turned sixteen. Her mother had not been happy. Then again, her mother was not happy about a lot of things in her life.

The motorcycle had been nothing more than a hump of scrap metal when she’d purchased it. Her mother blew a gasket, but her father saw the potential to fix it up and bond with her. They’d spent six months in the garage talking and building the bike.

When it was done her father forced her to go to a bunch of classes before he’d let her ride it. He’d had a bike of his own when he was a teenager, and he wanted his daughter to be safe. She’d been riding it almost every day for a year. It felt like a part of her.

Emily pulled out of the garage. Alison and her friends were gone, which was a little disappointing. She’d wanted to get a better look at her.

She rode through the neighborhood, hoping to run across Alison. She thought maybe she’d gone for a walk. But she only saw a couple of kids playing basketball and a woman jogging with her dog.

Emily turned off of the main road, deciding to take a detour through the trees. They wouldn’t be completely in bloom yet, but the color changes were starting. The reds and oranges stood out among the regular greenery. She’d forgotten how beautiful it was in the autumn. She stopped a few times just to observe nature.

Texas had pretty autumns, too, but nothing like Pennsylvania. The woods seemed so peaceful compared to the hustle of the city in California and the crowded population in San Antonio.

She listened to the breeze. It made her forget everything that was weighing her down. The uncertainty of her future and the instability of her life was constantly on her mind.

After she took a few quiet minutes to appreciate the peace and quiet she hopped back on her bike and rode in to town.

She parked in front of the gym and pulled her helmet off, her hair falling down over her shoulders. She didn’t realize that someone was watching her through a pair of designer sunglasses from a coffee shop across the street.

Emily took a second to admire the Harley she’d pulled up next to. Someone else had done a restoration. She really appreciated the handiwork. As she fawned over the bike, the person watching her fawned over her.

Emily walked into the gym and took a look at the place. It was smaller than where she’d been going in Texas, but they had weights, a few exercise machines, and small area where two people were playing racquetball.

“You new to town?” A voice behind her questioned.

Emily turned around and saw a tall guy walking up behind her. He looked like a regular gym-bro.

Her initial thought was that he was getting ready to hit on her. She cringed.

But then she saw the logo on his shirt. It matched the gym’s logo. She glanced at the boy. He looked familiar.

“I’m Toby. I work here.”

“Toby?” The name registered immediately. She stared at him and her childhood came rushing back to her. All she could see was the scrawny little blue-eyed boy on the playground with a messy mane of hair. He’d grown since then. He’d filled out and cut his hair. But his baby-blue eyes were unmistakable. “Toby Cavanaugh?”

He looked confused.

“Do I know you?”

“We grew up next to each other before I moved away,” Emily said. “When I told you I was moving you said it was the worst week of your entire life. And then you cried…”

His eyes widened.

“Holy shit. Emily?”

“In the flesh.”

“Love the purple hair. It’s very _you_.” He grinned. “I would give you a hug, but I’m all sweaty…”

“Bring it in.” Emily opened her arms.

When they pulled back Toby put his hands on her shoulders. He was taller than she was, and that hadn’t been the case when they were kids. He took a moment to look at her. She had grown into a beautiful young woman.

“You look good, Em.”

“And you look…tall. You grew up, Stretch.”

Toby laughed.

“Hey, who owns the Harley out front?” Emily questioned.

“You’re looking at him.”

“What is it? A ‘99 Sportster?”

“98. You ride?”

“I do.”

“No kidding. We should take a trip up to the mountains sometime.”

“That would be awesome.”

“So, what brings you here? Are you looking into a membership?”

“Maybe. I want to see what you’ve got first.”

Toby turned around and called out to the guy behind the counter.

“Yo, Jake! Watch the desk for a minute. I’m going to do a quick tour!”

“Sure thing.” A dark-headed guy in a tank top responded.

“Come on. I’ll show you around.” Toby walked in front of Emily, motioning for her to follow him. “So, what brings you back to town?”

Emily clenched her jaw. That was a question with a complicated answer.

“I missed seeing you miss your free throws in your driveway. Wanted to see if you improved your game any.” Emily retorted with a smile.

“Damn. Savage.” Toby chuckled. “You got a sport you’re particularly interested in? I’d love to see what you can do so I can mock you for it, too.”

“Good luck with the trash talk. I’m good at what I do. I was on the varsity swim team last year.”

“But not this year?”

“Kinda hard to do when I’m fifteen states away.”

“Rosewood has a team. You going out for it?”

It was a sore subject for her. She shook her head.

“I wanted to try something different.” It was a lie. If she’d had her way she would spend the rest of her life swimming, but she couldn’t do it competitively anymore. “I spar a little.”

“Well, you’re in luck.” They walked by a darkened room. Toby walked inside and Emily followed. He flipped the light on and revealed an area with heavy bags and sparring equipment. There was a small ring in the center of the room. “Jake runs the boxing and the kickboxing classes here. But we also offer freestyle if you prefer to do it solo.”

Emily walked around the heavy bag. She reached out and touched it with her palm and nodded in approval.

“We’ve got an indoor pool downstairs, but it’s kind of small. Doesn’t meet the standards that Rosewood High’s does. That’s really the best one for swimming. I think they offer freestyle swimming if you’re interested. And you’d be welcome to practice here, too. You’d have it all to yourself. Almost no one ever uses it.”

“What about the pool at Rosewood?”

“They haven’t started practices yet, so you could really go any time if you wanted. But right after classes let out is usually the best bet. You can just go any time. The place is supposed to be locked, but the coaches don’t care so it never is.”

Emily nodded. She looked at the equipment in the room. Toby motioned for her to follow him and she did. He finished up the tour by showing her their outdoor basketball court. He grabbed a ball before they walked out the door.

When they walked out on to the court, he tossed it to her.

“Do you gift everyone with a basketball at the end of the tour or am I just special?” Emily glanced at the ball.

“I want you to put your money where your mouth is.” Toby pointed to the net. “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?”

“Not really my sport.” Emily dribbled the ball.

“I’ll give you a free three month membership if you can make it from the three point line.”

Emily glanced at the distance. She didn’t see the harm in taking a shot.

“Make it six months.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Seriously. One shot. If I get it, that six month membership is mine. If I miss, I’ll help you out around here for free on weekends.”

“Your funeral.” Toby shrugged.

Emily bounced the ball a few times before she picked it up and aimed. She thought about all the times she’d played hoops with her dad when she was a kid. He’d taught her the geometry of the sport. She took a few minutes to try and figure out the best way to take her shot. Then she took a breath and threw the ball.

It bounced on the rim a few times, but then it messily fell into the hoop. Emily threw her arms up in victory.

Toby caught the ball as it bounced towards him.

“Did you just hustle me?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“I said it’s not really my sport. Not that I don’t play.” Emily smiled. “Now, it’s your turn.”

Toby rolled his eyes, but then he made the exact same shot that she’d made.

“You’ve stepped up your game.” Emily was impressed.

“Wanna play a little one-on-one?” he asked.

“Wish I could, but I’ve got to get back home. Lots of boxes to unpack.”

“Where are you living now?”

“A couple of streets over from my old place. It’s across the street from the DiLaurentis family.”

“Yeesh, sorry.” He made a face.

“What? Do they have wild parties and blast music too loud or something?”

“No. But Alison is…” He frowned. “Well, let’s just say she could cut glass with her tongue.”

“I bet she’s not as bad as you make her out to be.” Emily didn’t want to believe that, though she could easily see how the little blonde girl she’d kissed could grow up and turn into a nightmare.

“That’s a bet you would lose.” Toby scoffed.

They walked back towards the building. Emily followed him back to the front. Toby got her a membership card and waived the fee. Emily grabbed a calendar and thanked him for showing her around.

“See you around, Em.” He waved before he went off to help a member with a request.

Emily waved back and walked out the door. Seeing an old friend was just the mood booster that she needed. It had been six years, but the second she fell into a routine with not-so-little Toby Cavanaugh, she felt like she was back home.

Emily hopped on her bike. She pulled her phone out to check the time. She had a message from her mother, but she decided not to listen to it.

She heard the sound of heels hitting pavement behind her.

“Hey, Indigo Girl, nice bike.” When she turned around she saw Alison DiLaurentis curiously admiring her ride. “I like your hair. Bold move. Indigo is all the rage.”

“It’s more violet than indigo.”

“They’re the same.” Alison argued.

“You ever seen a rainbow? They’re totally not.”

The fact that the girl wouldn’t back down excited Alison. Most people in town bowed to her every whim. She liked that this girl didn’t give a shit. And the fact that she was sitting on a bike made her even hotter.

“You gunning to be the next Evel Knievel or something?”

Her bite was a mixture of sarcasm and bitchiness. And it was oddly hot. Something about her obstinacy turned Emily on. She liked a challenge.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Emily kept a cool façade.

Alison’s smile turned tepid. She didn’t like being challenged. Who did this girl think she was? She stared at Emily, waiting for her to back down. But Emily didn’t relent.

“You’re new to town, aren’t you?” Alison asked.

“Sort of.” Emily lifted her leg and moved off of her bike so she could face the blonde. “Why? You in the market for a new daredevil?”

“Not much devil to be dared around here.” Alison glanced at the little shopping center down the street. “You’re the girl from across the street, right? The one I saw unpacking?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, _Hells Angel_ , but Rosewood is as lame as it can be. Nothing exciting ever happens here.”

“Except me moving to town.”

“Well, you’re just full of yourself, aren’t you?” Alison snickered.

“It’s called confidence.” She ran her hand through her long dark locks.

Alison felt a warm flush in her chest. She hated herself for feeling weak in the knees. She hated herself more for even thinking the phrase ‘weak in the knees’. Her bitchy exterior melted and she found herself smiling at the brunette.

“How long have you been riding?” Alison traced her fingers across the bike.

“About a year. My dad and I fixed it up.”

“So, you’re good with your hands?” Alison smirked. She bit her lip and lifted her perfectly shaped brows.

Emily tried to keep her cool. Was Alison DiLaurentis _flirting_ with her?

“Why? Are you a handful?” Emily retorted.

Alison opened her mouth to respond, but she was too shocked to say anything. No one had ever been able to keep up with her.

“So, where’s your ride?” Emily asked.

“I came with friends. My stupid brother was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago, but he’s not answering his phone.”

“Want a lift?” Emily questioned.

“Getting on the back of a bike with a perfect stranger? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.” No matter how hot she was.

“We’re not perfect strangers, Ali.”

Ten years ago Emily would have been terrified to talk to her. But a lot had changed in a decade. Emily wasn’t really afraid of much anymore.

She watched as Alison tried to figure out how they knew one another. Emily smiled in amusement. The girl had grown up really hot, but she was downright adorable when she was confused.

“I guess my reputation precedes me?” Alison guessed.

She realized it sounded self-involved, but she didn’t care. She didn’t know how she knew this girl and she wanted to know more.

“We went to grade school together. I sat behind you in most classes since the roll was alphabetical.”

Alison had a blank look on her face.

Nothing.

Emily was seconds away from mentioning the kiss. Instead she went with an earlier memory, one that still made her laugh.

“I taught you how to play kickball in third grade. You accidentally kicked it into the teacher’s face.”

Alison felt like she’d been thrust back into elementary school. She could see the soft brown eyes of the sweet little girl who had asked to borrow a pencil in first grade. She saw the cute smile of a sporty third-grader cheering for her at recess. She saw the soft hands of a fifth grade Emily Fields offering her a hand as they were climbing up to her treehouse during her birthday party. She could taste Emily’s cherry chapstick from their kiss.

“Emily?” Alison tried to keep her jaw from dropping. The last thing she wanted to do was look like a buffoon.

The last time she’d seen Emily had been during a game of “Truth or Dare”. Hanna Marin had dared them to kiss. That was the only decent thing Hanna had ever done for her.

“Hey, Alison.”

Alison stared at her. She didn’t even recognize her now. Puberty had been more than kind to her.

“Oh my God.” Her demeanor changed from guarded to friendly. “Wow. How have you been? Where did you go?”

“Good. And California. Then Texas.”

“Funny, I don’t hear a twang in your giddy’up at all.” Alison smirked. She tried to imagine Emily talking in a southern accent.

“That’s…not a thing. No one says that.” Emily laughed. When Alison saw Emily smile she was certain it was the most wonderful thing in the world. “I refuse to conform to societal norms.”

“Oh, watch out world, we’ve got a badass here.” Alison scoffed.

She didn’t mean for it to come out bitchy, but that was pretty much her default setting. Emily didn’t seem fazed.

“I was more likely to convert to valley girl than I was to ‘y’all and yeehaw’.”

“I didn’t recognize you. You look…” _Hot._ “You’ve um…” Alison wanted to tell her she looked good, but she got flustered. It pissed her off, because that rarely happened, “You’ve certainly changed.”

“Traveling broadens your horizons.”

“You sound like a poster in a guidance counselor’s office.”

“I guess I took that poster literally.” Emily shrugged.

“So, why the bike?” Alison reached out and put her palm against the side of the bike.

“It’s freeing. It lets you break away from all the little things and gives you an opportunity to become anything you want to be.” She glanced at her motorcycle. “Riding helps me balance my heart and mind.”

“Okay, _Sons of Anarchy_.” Alison smiled.

“You ever ridden before?” Emily asked, already knowing the answer. No way that Little Miss Priss had ever ridden bitch on a motorcycle before.

“No.” She seemed offended by the question, which only made Emily laugh.

“Let me give you a ride. You’ll get addicted to it. I promise.” Emily grinned.

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. Live a little, _Uptown Girl_.”

“Excuse me? Who are you calling _Uptown Girl_?”

“If the high heel fits…”

“So, does that make you a backstreet guy?” Alison ribbed her back.

“I think it’s Backstreet Boys…”

“Shut up. Not the boy band. You know what I meant.”

Emily chuckled under her breath.

“I’m surprised you know music like that. You _certainly_ weren’t into boy bands in elementary school. And you don’t strike me as a Billy Joel fangirl.”

“My grandparents loved him. I heard _Piano Man_ so many times when I was little that I asked if I could start playing the piano.”

“Is your dream to play in a bar for day drinkers and sad sacks?” Emily questioned.

“I’ve had plenty of practice doing that for my parents.” Alison made a face.

Her tone made Emily sad. She didn’t remember much about Alison’s parents, but the manner in which Alison spoke about them made it sound like they were more into their own lives than their children.

Emily didn’t understand why people chose to have children if they weren’t going to love them. How could anyone not appreciate their own children?

Emily had her ups and downs with her parents, and she was struggling to crawl out of a pit she’d dug herself into with them, but even though they were disappointed in her they still loved her.

They drove her crazy, but she still loved them. She was doing everything in her power to prove to them that she wasn’t a screw up. She was trying to show them that she could be an adult…that she could be responsible.

Emily’s phone chimed and she glanced at it. It was a text message from her mother. And her mother rarely texted. She had an aversion to technology.

“I’ve got to get back before my mom blows her top.” Emily put her phone away. “So, what do you say? You want a ride or are you going to hoof it on foot?”

Alison looked around. She knew her brother was probably getting drunk or banging some random sorority girl. And she didn’t feel like walking.

“Sure.” Alison faced Emily again. “But if you kill me I’ll sue you.”

“I’ll be gentle. I promise.” Emily reached for a button on the side of her bike. It popped open a small compartment near the rear.

“It has a trunk?” Alison gawked.

“I can fit one whole bag of groceries in it.” Emily teased. “Or…” She reached in and pulled out a helmet for Alison. “Safety first.”

Alison took the helmet, holding it out like she was going to catch cooties from it. It was obvious she’d never held one in her life.

“What? Are you afraid it will mess up your hair?”

Alison scowled at her and shoved the helmet on her head with conviction to prove a point to the brunette.

“Now what?” Alison asked.

“Just follow my lead.” Emily climbed back on the bike. “Use me for support when you’re getting on.” She saw Alison smirk in response, and could only imagine the things going on in her mind. “See that peg right there?” Emily pointed.

“Yeah.”

“That’s where you’ll be resting your feet. There is one on both sides.” She reached her hand out to help Alison take the first step.

Alison took it, delicately holding her fingers as she climbed on the vehicle. She was wobbly on her feet as she put her heel against the peg, but she was able to get balanced without a problem. She rested the crooks of her heels against the pegs. It wasn’t exactly ideal motorcycle riding attire, but it’s not like she’d planned it. And it wasn’t a very long ride.

“You can hold on to my waist for support if you need to.”

Alison wasn’t going to fight her on that. She smiled as she linked her arms around Emily’s stomach. Emily glanced down where her fingers were interlocking over her belly and got lost in thought for a few seconds. Seeing the blonde’s beautiful delicate hands against her body sent a warm flowing feeling through her abdomen.

“It’s kind of like riding a horse.” Alison glanced down at the ground. “I rode English when I was younger at Equestrian camp.”

“Fancy.” Emily glanced over her shoulder. “I rode Harley Davidson at the San Antonio School for Defensive Driving.”

“Ah, so you’re a Western snob.” Alison grinned.

“Dressage just never interested me. Now, hold on, Fancy Pants.” Emily turned the bike on. The noise made Alison jump. She hadn’t expected it to sound so loud…or to be able to feel the vibration of the engine so deeply in her bones. Emily felt Alison tensing up. “Just hold on. And don’t lean too far one way or the other, especially when we’re taking turns.”

“I feel like I need an entire class just to be a passenger.” Alison laughed nervously.

“You’ll be okay.” Emily reached for her helmet and put it on.

She started out slow, letting Alison get the feel of the bike. Alison was intimidated at first, but then she started paying more attention to the scenery. There was something exciting about being out on the open road without being boxed in by car doors and windows. She felt like she was a kid again riding her bicycle down the street as fast as she could. The wind felt good against her body. She could feel the warmth of the sun. And she understood why Emily enjoyed it so much. There was a sense of appreciation for the powerful machine beneath them, and a respect for the road they were on. It was freeing…liberating.

Emily turned off the main road and it scared Alison, because she knew the roads that cut through the woods were curvier.

“Emily…” Her fear was palpable.

“Just trust me.”

Alison tightened her hold on Emily and buried her face against her back. It was a strange feeling to be so close to someone that she didn’t even know. But it felt comfortable. Almost intimate.

Emily took the same route she’d taken to get to the gym.

Alison looked up and saw the reason that Emily was taking the scenic route. The leaves were starting to change. And being underneath them and whizzing by at high speeds made it look like a painting that had come to life. The colors looked more vibrant. She could smell the fresh air and the change of the season.

She became so immersed that she didn’t even realize that Emily had turned off of the backroad and was pulling into their neighborhood. The bike slowed to a crawl when they got to their street.

Emily pulled into her driveway. The moving truck was gone and now she had a perfectly clear view of the block…and more importantly, Alison’s house. She turned her bike off and dismounted. Then she helped Alison off of the bike.

“Told you I’d go easy on you.” Emily took her hand to make sure she didn’t trip over her heels. “So, what do you think?”

Alison turned around and looked at the motorcycle. Then she faced Emily again with a huge smile on her face. She couldn’t even pretend to play off how exciting the ride had been for her.

“That was amazing. You were right.”

“Mmmhmm. Get used to saying that.” Emily smiled. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“I think I can make it across the street without you holding my hand.” Alison rolled her eyes.

Emily wanted to grab her hand and hold it to prove a point, but she resisted the urge. She didn’t want to push her luck. From what Toby had told her, Alison was basically the devil incarnate. She didn’t want to push the wrong button.

As they walked up Alison’s driveway Emily’s memories came flooding back to her.

“The treehouse is still intact?” She glanced up at the structure.

It took her right back to the night of Alison’s birthday. Alison’s parents had gone all out. Nearly every kid in town had been at that party. Only a select few had been invited up into her treehouse though.

“Oh, yeah. It’s a great escape for when my brother’s asshole friends come over and relentlessly hit on me.” Alison frowned.

Emily remembered Alison’s brother, Jason. He was five years older than her. He had been big into partying back then, and apparently things hadn’t changed. She didn’t like that Jason’s friends made Alison uncomfortable. She made a mental note to deal with that.

Alison looked at Emily, an unmistakable lust in her eyes.

“And it’s private for…other things.” She lifted her brows flirtatiously.

“Graduating from “Truth or Dare” are you?” Emily asked. She wanted to know if that night meant as much to Alison as it meant to her.

“Just playing a more adult version of it now.” Alison winked.

“Well, if you ever want to escape from your brother’s asshole friends, let me know.”

“Why? You going to come over and scare them on your big bad bike?”

“No, I’m going to scare them with my big bad fists.”

“I might take you up on that. I’d love to see my brother’s fratboy bros Ian and Garrett getting pummeled by a girl with plum colored hair.”

“Still violet.” Emily argued.

“Debatable.” Alison walked towards her front porch. She turned around and faced Emily. “Thanks for the ride.”

“You’re welcome to ride with me any time.”

Alison liked her. She liked that she was so bold. She liked that she was carefree. She just liked _her_.

“You know, I just realized I have no way to reach you if I need a getaway driver.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

“You could just walk across the street.” Emily teased.

“But it’s so far away.” Alison whined.

“Fine. Hand it over.” Emily motioned for Alison to give up her phone.

Alison watched with a satisfied smile on her face as Emily input her contact information. She handed it back to Alison. Alison waved as she walked up her porch steps.

“I’ll see you at school.”

Emily made sure that Alison made it safely into the house and then she walked back across the street. She rolled her bike into the carport and then went inside.

Her parents were in the kitchen. She could smell something cooking. When she walked into the room she got a whiff of the fried rice and kimchi that her mother was making.

“Smells delicious, Pam.” Wayne walked up behind her and kissed her cheek. “Want me to finish up? I know it’s been a long day.”

He had actually offered to order something for dinner so Pam wouldn’t have to cook, but Pam had insisted that she break the new kitchen in.

“Good luck with that. Trying to pry her away from her domain is like trying to pry a gazelle away from a bunch of hungry lions.” Emily leaned against the entryway to the kitchen.

“Emmy, there you are.” Her mother looked up from the stove. “Did you get my message? We’re eating at seven.”

“I’m not very hungry. All that time in the car made me woozy.”

“You were able to get on your bike and drive around like a maniac.” Pam scoffed. “You’re going to get yourself run over by a semi one day…”

“I don’t drive like a maniac, mom.” Emily sighed. “Riding helps clear my head. And I wanted to see the town.”

“How is it? Still like you remember?” Wayne asked.

“The gym is kind of small, but they do have a boxing area and a pool.”

“You might want to just stick to the easier sports for now, baby.”

He knew he didn’t really have a say since she was a few months shy of turning eighteen. He could easily try to pull the ‘you live under our roof, you live by our rules’ thing, but he knew from experience that only pushed kids further away. He’d been a lot like Emily when he was her age. He’d even run away from home. Emily was already talking about trying to find a place of her own, but she was communicating with them. And he didn’t want his daughter to stop communicating with them.

“Maybe you should spend less time on recreation and more time looking for a job.” Pam suggested.

Wayne shot Emily a look, begging her not to fight with her mother. Emily knew her mom was just being a concerned parent, but it pissed her off. She felt her face get hot in anger, but she didn’t fall into the trap. Things had been strained between Emily and her mom and dad since she told them the truth. They had fought a lot more.

“There are jobs at the gym. Maybe I can get one there.”

“Whatever you do you have to make sure you maintain your grades in school.” Pam reminded her.

“I know.”

Her parents had been on her ass about her future. She had a plan. It wasn’t foolproof, but she was working on it. She already had some money saved up. She also had a sizeable nest egg that she’d acquired before she left Texas, though it felt like shame money. She was going to get a job working after school and on the weekends. She planned to move out after she graduated.

“I’m thinking about looking at apartments tomorrow,” Emily said.

Wayne looked over at his daughter.

“You don’t need to rush into that. It’s not like we’re shoving you out the door the second you turn eighteen. That’s not how it works. We just want you to have a plan ready.”

“Because planning has worked out so well for me,” Emily uttered under her breath.

“Sweetie, we love you.” Her dad put his large calloused hand against her cheek. “But this is just how it is. You made your choices.”

 _Choices._ That’s what they were calling it.

“I’m going to go unpack some of my things.” Emily pulled back from her father’s embrace.

“You need to eat, Em.” Her mother frowned at her.

“Later.” She muttered as she walked away.

She heard her mother huffing under her breath and her father quietly shushing her. Their voices faded as she disappeared into her bedroom.

She looked at the boxes that held some of the most important memories of her life. She knew that she should feel sentimental, but she was too exhausted to care. And she had so much on her mind.

She pulled out her laptop.

She googled Rosewood and looked at random photos of the town. Some were professionally done. Others were people who had taken selfies with shops and roads in the background.

Once she’d had enough of Rosewood she decided to check her Instagram to see what everyone back in Texas was up to. A lot of her friends were posting back-to-school photos in their new outfits.

The “it” girl back in town, Courtney, had posted a photo of her posse. She was front and center, like she always was when Emily lived there. She was a lot like Alison. Assertive. Domineering. She even resembled her a little bit. But her features were less distinguished than Alison’s. Emily had never been attracted to Courtney. She hated her.

She scrolled down to look at a few more posts.

Courtney’s boyfriend Nick had posted a throwback picture of him and Courtney with the hashtag _#AlreadyMissMyLove_. Nick was the one who had the cousin who gave Emily her tattoo. He had been accepted into NYU, so he was only a few hours away.

She was surprised Courtney hadn’t broken up with him because of the distance. Then again, Courtney had always been territorial. And he was head over heels in love with her. Courtney had that kind of pull over people. She’d tell someone to jump and they would do it with gusto. Boys drooled over her and girls were terrified of her.

Courtney had gotten in Emily’s face once for hanging out with Nick at the tattoo parlor, even though Emily wasn’t interested in Nick in the slightest. She had been dating someone else at the time.

It had been tense between her and Courtney for a few days. Emily had to watch her back. Courtney had been known to shave eyebrows and etch things in permanent marker on girl’s faces for even looking in Nick’s direction. But eventually Courtney let up on her.

Emily tended to get off lighter when it came to Courtney because Courtney was her best friend’s older sister. And Courtney didn’t mess with family. They’d also been teammates on the swim team together, so their coach forced them to be civil to one another.

Emily frowned at her computer. She was mad at herself for thinking about them. She had promised to leave the past in the past. She felt a sad twinge in her chest, because she was thinking about Texas. She was thinking about Nick and Courtney, which meant she was thinking about the only person she was actually sad she’d left behind.

Emily sighed and closed her laptop. Her legs and back were cramping from all the boxes she’d unloaded. The move had physically exhausted her. She got up to walk around and stretch her muscles.

She stopped at the window. The street below had several cars parked in a line. She’d forgotten how compact small towns were when it came to parking. She’d gotten accustomed to the wide open spaces of Texas.

The parked cars looked like something out of a fall calendar photoshoot. They looked cute. They certainly didn’t look dangerous.

But there was one car in the line-up that didn’t belong. Only she didn’t know it didn’t belong, because the person driving it knew how to blend in.

Emily was so caught up in her present that she didn’t realize that her past was going to come back to haunt her.

She peered across the street at Alison’s house. She saw a light on in an upstairs bedroom. When she looked through the window she saw Alison sitting at a desk.

Emily couldn’t tell what she was doing, but the fact that their bedrooms were facing one another made her smile.

Alison looked up and saw her.

“Shit. She’s going to think I was watching her like some creep.” Emily wasn’t sure whether to dive out of sight or smile and wave.

She opted to smile and wave.

Alison waved back. Maybe she wasn’t as evil as Toby made her out to be. Emily had certainly dealt with her fair share of bitchy girls back in Texas. Courtney was the worst of the worst. Alison was nothing compared to her.

Emily heard her phone chiming. She walked over to grab it and saw a message from Alison.

**_Welcome to the neighborhood, Hell’s Angel._ **

Emily laughed as she sent her reply,

**_Goodnight, Uptown Girl._ **

She plopped back on to her bed, staring at the text exchange. She felt a fluttering sensation in her stomach as she smiled dumbly at the screen.

Butterflies.

She hadn’t even been back for a day and Alison DiLaurentis was giving her butterflies. She laid her arm across her stomach, her palm falling flat against her bellybutton. She put her phone down and laid back until her head hit her pillow.

She was already daydreaming about what life with Alison would be like. She hummed happily to herself.

She didn’t hear the sound of the car parked in front of the house next door idling. The car slowly rolled forward. She had been so wrapped up in watching Alison that she didn’t realize that there had been someone watching her.

Rosewood was much different than San Antonio. It was a quaint little town. But Emily’s presence had opened up the door to a dark underbelly hidden in the shadows, and all hell was about to break loose.

* * *

**A/N:** _Just a general FYI, full disclosure: this story is coming over from FF.net. It's not complete there, but it is much further along. Emison seems to be a bit of a dwindling fandom, even more-so on Ao3. But I wanted people who are still interested in PLL and Emison to have the opportunity to get their fix here. I_ _have only recently had the time to start formatting to share here. It will slowly be coming along. I am still undecided if I am going to share on Wattpad. If anyone has any thoughts on that, let me know._


	2. A New Beginning

**A/N:** _You may notice the ridiculously high word count for this chapter. It was initially two chapters, but I couldn’t find the right place to break it, so it’s much longer than the others._

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

**A New Beginning**

Emily spent the rest of her weekend unpacking boxes, which she thought was pointless. She was just going to be moving again after she graduated. Maybe even before. She didn’t want to have to pack again.

Sunday night she was exhausted, but she couldn’t sleep. She’d been suffering from insomnia since before the move. She couldn’t relax. All she could do was stare at her ceiling and stress about her future. She’d really screwed up her shot at college by losing her swimming scholarship. Her mother had been giving her a lot of grief about it.

It’s not like Emily didn’t already have a lot of stress in her life. She didn’t need her mother nagging her at every turn. She was trying really hard to make some semblance of a normal life for herself.

She could hear the distant sound of her parents talking in their room. Her dad was getting ready for his overnight shift. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she knew they were talking about her. They were always talking about her.

She would have been the talk of the town if they’d stayed in Texas. Her junior year hadn’t been easy. She’d been struggling to find a balance in her life, and living in a strict conservative home had made her feel like an outsider to her family. Over the summer she had come tumbling out of the closet to her mom and dad in the worst possible way.

She wasn’t ashamed of who she was. But she also didn’t go out of her way to tell people. She kept to herself. She had friends, but not in the sense that they were her closest confidants. She was friendly with people, but she wasn’t _friends_ with many people.

Not many people knew the real Emily Fields. She had secretly dated girls before she came out. But the first time she’d ever felt like herself was when she’d met Maya St Germain. She’d met her at jazz night at café during freshman year. She hadn’t been able to take her eyes off of her during the band’s set. The group was on the stage, but Maya was the only person she saw. She was mesmerizing when she played.

Maya had been flirtatious and funny. She’d forced Emily out of her comfort zone. Unfortunately, it wasn’t far enough to push her _out_ out. Emily had reservations about telling her parents. Maya understood at first, but became resentful the longer they had to keep it a secret.

Maya had been a bit of a rebel with a dangerous streak. Nothing too crazy at first. She dabbled in drugs and alcohol, and Emily went along for the ride. The highs made every touch seem hotter, every kiss seem more explosive.

But then one day, Maya’s parents caught her doing drugs. She had been yanked out of Emily’s life. Emily had felt like a rug had been pulled out from under her. Her heart ached in ways she didn’t even know were possible. She felt alone even though she was surrounded by people.

She had other friends, but none of them knew about Maya. She kept others at enough distance so that she could keep her private life out of high school. The mysterious element to her personality only made her _more_ popular.

Courtney hadn’t liked that Emily had become popular, but instead of lashing out at her in a public setting she’d attacked her in a more intimate way. She’d always known how to hone in on people’s weaknesses, and Emily was no exception. She’d earned her trust and then crushed it.

She’d been warm and receptive to her for weeks. She’d danced the line between friendly and flirtatious. It was confusing for Emily, because Courtney was with Nick. But Emily slowly lowered her guard.

Courtney had drawn her into a trap one day in the locker room after swim practice. All the other girls had already changed. Only Emily and Courtney remained.

Courtney had been glancing at Emily over her shoulder and smiling at her. She’d sauntered over to her in her towel and had asked Emily to help her get her bra on.

 _“It’s hard to clasp in the back,”_ she’d dangled the bra in front of Emily, as if she knew her secret, as if she knew everything about her.

She’d slipped it on her shoulders and dropped her towel, staring at Emily the entire time. She’d turned around, exposing her bare back to Emily, waiting for her to do as she was told.

Emily had felt conflicted about her emotions. She had never been attracted to Courtney, but she missed Maya so much. She’d been desperate to feel that feeling again.

She’d gently lifted Courtney’s hair away from her back, her fingertips sweeping the hot skin on the back of her neck.

Her hands shook the entire time she fiddled with Courtney’s bra. Courtney had turned around once Emily had clasped it. Their faces had been inches apart.

The kiss had happened so quickly that Emily didn’t realize their lips were connected until she felt Courtney grasping her cheek. Courtney had initiated it, but Emily couldn’t pull away.

Which is exactly what Courtney had wanted.

Courtney had parted her lips and broken the kiss. When Emily looked at her she saw a cold dark gleam in her eyes. Her face was rigid. She’d had a steely gaze and a wicked grin on her face. She’d laughed maniacally.

_“Stay in your own lane, bitch.”_

Then she’d walked away, leaving Emily feeling vulnerable and confused.

The next day at swim practice Courtney had waited for the other girls to finish. She knew that Emily would stay late. Because she always stayed late. So when Emily was finished with rounds Courtney surprised her as she was getting ready to get out of the pool.

She’d grasped Emily’s head and shoulders, digging her fingernails into her shoulder as she dunked her under the water. She’d held her there until Emily couldn’t breathe. She’d come up sputtering, her lungs burning. She’d glared angrily at Courtney, but Courtney had just laughed at her.

_“You’re a freak of nature, Fields. Consider this your Baptism.”_

Courtney had started to walk away, but Emily’s temper flared. She’d pulled herself out of the pool and tackled Courtney. She’d pinned her against the ground, slamming her wrists down and holding her in place.

She didn’t hit her. She’d just stared at her, both of them breathing heavy. Courtney’s gaze was empty. Emily easily could have beat the shit out of her, but she knew that Courtney was trying to get a rise out of her. She knew that Courtney was trying to get her in trouble. She’d wanted to get her thrown off the swim team. She’d wanted to make her a social pariah. Emily wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction.

She’d lifted her weight off of Courtney and stood up. Courtney didn’t move. She just watched Emily carefully.

Emily had started boxing after that. It had helped with some of her anger. Courtney had watched her with intrigue after that day. In a way, Courtney had been impressed that Emily had stood up to her. She had discovered that Emily was just as dangerous as she was.

Emily had been expecting rumors to swirl after her family moved so quickly. They’d practically packed up overnight and shipped out. People liked to talk. She wondered what they were saying.

No one knew the truth.

At least, she didn’t _think_ anyone knew. But things took a weird turn when she got a message from an unknown number that night.

The screen of her phone flickered to life around midnight.

**_New town. Same secrets. You can run, but you can’t hide._ **

There was a picture of her house attached. It had been taken from her front yard.

Emily stumbled out of bed and rushed towards the window. She scanned the yard for movement, but didn’t see anything. She opened the window to see if she could hear anything, but the streets were quiet. The only sound she heard was the sound of her pulse in her ears.

After a few minutes she closed the window. She glanced at Alison’s house. Her bedroom light was off. Normal people were asleep at this hour.

She walked back over to her bed and plopped down, staring at her phone, staring at the image of her house. She wasn’t sure what to make of the message. It felt juvenile. It felt like something Courtney would do.

She refused to be back in that pool, drowning. She refused to play the victim again. She would to do this bully what she’d done to Courtney. She would show them she wasn’t afraid.

She hit “delete”, taking control of the situation. She wasn’t sure who it was, and she didn’t care. Because no matter what they claimed to know, there was no way they knew anything about her life.

She put her phone away and laid in bed, fighting to get to sleep.

She woke up a few hours later at 3 AM. She stared at the ceiling for almost an hour before she decided to get up and get ready for her senior year. She threw on a pair of jeans, a black tank top and her leather jacket, which she’d only bought after being assured that it wasn’t real leather.

By 5, she was on her way to town. She wasn’t sure if anything would be open, but she wanted to find something for breakfast. She rode by a coffee shop called _The Brew_ , which she found ridiculously cliché and bougie. But it looked like it was the only place open. So she pulled up outside, parked, and went inside.

She saw a preppy blonde girl at the counter wearing designer threads. She walked up behind her, thinking that it was Alison. The blonde giggled and said something to the young barista behind the counter. She gripped his work shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Can’t you just take a five minute break?” As soon as the girl spoke, Emily realized it wasn’t Alison.

But the voice sounded familiar.

“I’ve got other customers.” The shaggy-haired boy nodded his head towards Emily.

“By all means…don’t stop on my account,” Emily said. “I can wait five minutes for my bagel. Go find a supply closet. Do what you’ve got to do. Just make sure you wash your hands afterwards.”

The girl spun around. Emily recognized her immediately. The blonde didn’t look anything like she had when she was a kid. She’d been awkward when she was younger. She’d had braces and had worn woolly kitty sweaters. But she’d outgrown that. She’d lost all of her baby fat and she’d developed a keen sense of fashion.

“Hanna Marin, is that you?”

Hanna Marin was a force to be reckoned with. She had been very shy in kindergarten, but after her father walked out on Hanna and her mother she’d started acting out in class. She was very sweet, but she also demanded a lot of attention from the people around her.

It took Hanna a few seconds to register where she knew her from. Her face brightened in surprise.

“Emily!” She closed the space between them and wrapped her arms around the brunette. “Oh my God, it’s so good to see you.”

There was something comforting about coming back to Rosewood and seeing old familiar faces. She felt like she still belonged. She felt like she fit in in ways that she hadn’t in Texas or California.

Hanna squealed and then faced the boy behind the counter.

“Caleb, this is Emily!”

“I heard.” Caleb chuckled.

“This is my boyfriend, Caleb.”

“I heard.” Emily extended her hand. “Emily Fields.”

“Caleb Rivers.” He shook her hand. “Can I take your order, Emily Fields?”

“Plain toasted bagel.”

“Anything to drink?”

“I’ll just take a regular decaf.”

“What kind of psycho drinks decaf?” Hanna made a face.

“I don’t do caffeine.” Emily shrugged. Hanna eyed her suspiciously, like she was going to burst into flames and fall into hell. “I have enough trouble sleeping as it is.”

“I don’t know how you survive without it.” Hanna linked her arm through Emily’s, as if they were still best friends in second grade. It was like no time had passed. She walked her towards a booth. “So, tell me everything. Where have you been? What have you been up to?”

“Uh…can I get my coffee first?” Emily yawned.

“Why? It’s not like decaf is going to wake you up.” Hanna sat down in the booth.

“Fair point.” She sat down across from Hanna. “I moved for my dad’s job. We were in California for a bit.”

“God, I am _so_ jealous. I’d love to go to Cali.” She threw her head back and sighed. “What was it like? Was it amazing?”

“It’s okay.”

“Spoken like a true Californian.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “Typical West Coaster. Don’t know how good you have it. Beaches and fun.”

“Wildfires and earthquakes.”

“Well, I mean, every state has its drawbacks, I guess.”

“We went to Texas after that.”

“Wow, talk about a culture shock. Howdy, pardner.”

“Why does everyone always jump right to ‘howdy’?” Emily chuckled. “Texas is more than that. I learned more Spanish when I was there than _Texan_.”

“Every state is fair game. People get to make fun of quakers however they feel fit…”

“I have never run into anyone who even remembers that Pennsylvania is a state. Except for during football season when everyone is ranting about the Steelers.”

“Steelers are complete trash.” Caleb walked up to the table carrying Emily’s order.

“Case and point.” Emily pointed as Caleb put the bagel and coffee down in front of her. “You must not be from around here. Saying that in this state is liable to get you killed.”

“I’ve bounced around a lot.”

“He’s dealt with some really bad foster homes.” Hanna elaborated. “His case worker is a real piece of shit.”

“I only have to deal with her for another eight months. After I age out, I can do my own thing.”

“Explains why you’re working at the ass crack of dawn at a coffee shop.” Emily took a bite of her bagel.

“Keeps me busy. It’s better than going back to juvie.”

“What did they pinch you for?” Emily asked.

“I’m a hacker. Turns out the government only likes hackers they can control. Go figure.” He glanced at Emily’s cup. “You want sugar or cream?”

“No, thanks. I’ll take it black.”

“Ugh, why?” Hanna looked disgusted.

“Just drink your non-fat skinny double frappe-whatever and leave my decaf alone.” Emily picked her drink up and took a sip.

Caleb snickered and looked at Hanna.

“I like her.”

“Go make yourself useful and clean something.” Hanna scowled.

Caleb grinned smugly at his girlfriend and then walked back towards the counter. Emily turned towards Hanna again.

“He seems nice.”

“He’s an asshole. But I love him.”

“How long have you two been together?” Emily asked.

“Three years.” They watched as Caleb restocked some of the baked goods behind the glass. “He works hard. He does this and he does some side gigs tech-wise, too. He’s saving up. He really wants to get out on his own.”

“I know that feeling.” Emily faced Hanna again. It was so weird to be sitting across the table from Hanna Marin. She looked so grown up. “I’m staying with my parents through the end of the school year, but then I’m going to get a place of my own. I’m checking out apartments this weekend.”

“You and Caleb should look into sharing a place. Could help with the cost.”

Emily was surprised by the suggestion. It wasn’t usually customary for a girlfriend to push her boyfriend to live with another girl.

“You’re not worried about the two of us alone together?” Emily questioned.

“Oh, please. I know you don’t bat for his team,” Hanna said it so casually, especially given that Emily hadn’t been out when she lived in Rosewood before.

Emily was surprised Hanna knew. Then again, maybe she’d always known. Maybe it’s why she’d dared her and Alison to kiss when they were kids.

“Besides, I would cut his nuts off for cheating and he knows it. But you can make sure none of the desperate house-sluts try to make a move on him. You look like you can throw a punch.” She glanced at Emily’s biceps. They were toned from boxing and swimming.

“I can. And as much as I would love being your boyfriend’s muscle, I kind of just want a place of my own.” Emily’s forehead creased in thought. “How did you know I’m not into guys?”

“Because there hasn’t ever been _one_ girl in this town who hasn’t noticed Caleb. You just looked at him like he was a coffee boy.”

“He _is_ a coffee boy.”

“Yeah, but he’s a _hot_ coffee boy.” Hanna waved to Caleb.

“Did you know when we were younger?” Emily questioned curiously.

“What? About the gay thing?” Hanna asked. “I suspected.”

“I was that obvious with Alison, huh?”

“Honey, we were all a little gay for Alison DiLaurentis. Bitch or not, she was _hot_.”

“Still is.” Emily smiled. It was so refreshing to sit and talk to someone who didn’t care that she liked girls. Hanna just rolled with it.

“I guess.” Hanna looked like she wanted to say more, but instead she just sipped on her coffee. “Are you out, or should I keep my mouth shut? Because I don’t want to push you into the rainbow limelight by accident…”

“It’s fine.” Emily held her hands up with a laugh. She was picturing Hanna driving a pride float with glitter and flashing rainbows pointing directly at her. “I’m not going to roll up to school in flashy lights or anything, but I’m not hiding it. My parents know. And it’s fine if people in town find out.” She’d spent too much time hiding in the closet. And she didn’t want to go backwards. “Speaking of, tell me what I’ve missed. What’s going on in Rosewood these days?”

“Let’s see…” Hanna tapped her coffee cup, pretending that she wasn’t _dying_ to share the gossip. “Bridgette Wu is in rehab. She crashed her daddy’s very expensive car after getting totally trashed at a party. And Andrew Campbell got caught selling test answers for cash. It was a whole thing. Took Noel Kahn down with him. But Noel is Rosewood’s star lacrosse player, so they gave him a slap on the wrist. Cuz that’s America for you.” She scoffed. “Rumor has it that he has a little ‘habit’.” She tapped on her arm. “To keep up with the sports demands.”

“I bet that makes him pleasant to be around.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, he’s a jerk. Oh, you remember Melissa Hastings, Spencer’s big sister? She got married, but her husband turned out to be psycho. They’re not together anymore.”

“Divorce?” Emily guessed.

“No. He’s dead. Got so drunk he passed out in a barn. Fell three stories on to a pitchfork. Fitting for a man who was basically the devil. Turns out he was creeping on Spencer behind Melissa’s back. God, the men in this town are such scum.”

“Good thing I don’t bat for their team.”

“I thought about swinging a little myself after what my ex did to me. You remember Sean Ackard from grade school?”

“Yeah.”

“He tried to cheat on me with Aria Montgomery.”

“ _Aria_?” Aria had been one of the most loyal people in Rosewood as far as Emily could remember. “I thought you two were friends.”

“We are. She slapped him and told him never to kiss her again. I couldn’t be mad at her. He made the move on her. She told him no. And at the end of the day I trust her more than I trust him. Chicks before dicks, right?”

“Yeah.” Or at least a variation of it without dicks. “Wow. So, preacher’s boy was a ho, huh?”

“It doesn’t bother me. I’ve got Caleb.” She looked across the coffee shop. He was walking towards them with something from the bakery. “I actually met him in the police station. I’d been detained for shoplifting. My mom bribed my way out of it. While she was… _bribing_ …I met Caleb in the lobby. We really hit it off.”

“What a cute meet-cute to tell the kids.” Emily laughed.

“We are _years_ from that. She’s high maintenance enough for the both of us already.” Caleb put a scone down in front of Hanna. He had a crooked smile on his face.

“Yo, Rivers!” A shaggy haired kid walked out of the kitchen and up to the counter. “Sabrina and I need some help back here.”

“You’re needed in the kitchen with the other women. Don’t forget to tie your apron up nice and tight.” Hanna gave him a hard time.

The kid behind the counter snorted out a laugh.

“I’m going to go get a platter, you know…for your balls to be served on.” The kid grinned.

“It was a shot at you, too, Montgomery.” Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Make sure there is room on that platter for your dignity, Mike. Aria tells me you still sleep with a nightlight.” Hanna defended her boyfriend.

Mike and Caleb walked through a set of swinging doors back into the bakery area.

“ _That_ was Aria’s little brother?” Emily gawked. The last time she’d seen him he had been running around in diapers.

“He glowed up, right?” Hanna smiled. “He used to be such a dweeb. He moved to Iceland with his family when he was a freshman and came back after a year and he was like… _whoa_. I didn’t even recognize him. Aria either. They both looked so different. The only thing that didn’t change is that Mike is still a dork at heart. He’s all puppy-dog in love with Mona Vanderwaal.” She picked up the scone Caleb had brought her. “So, are you seeing anyone?”

“I literally _just_ got back to town. I’m good, but I’m not _that_ good.”

“What about back in Texas?”

Emily felt her body tense up at the mention of it. Her toes curled inside her combat boots.

“Well, _that’s_ not a good look.” Hanna didn’t miss the discomfort on her face. “I guess it ended badly?”

It had been years and Hanna could still call her out. It was a talent.

“Sort of.” Emily nodded. “But that’s in my past. I’m more interested in catching up with everyone here in town.” She played with the stirring stick in her coffee and then glanced at Hanna, trying to remain casual. “Do you still hang out with Alison?”

“And risk burning myself when she bursts into flames?” Hanna snorted. “That girl would devour my head and feed my carcass to her legion of demons. The devil doesn’t wear Prada. She wears Gucci.”

Emily wasn’t surprised at Hanna’s hostility, especially considering Toby had warned her about Alison. But the blonde seemed to be different with her. Maybe that elementary school kiss had meant something to her.

“She can’t be _that_ bad.”

“I’ve heard if you say her name seven times while looking in a mirror she appears and insults your whole family.” Hanna took a sip of her coffee.

“I thought you two might be friends since you were at her birthday sleepover. It’s the last big party I really remember before I moved away.”

“We were never friends. She only invited me to that so she could leave out my ‘loser friends’…her words, not mine. It made them feel like crap. I mean, it was all typical mean girl bullshit. And I’m an asshole for playing into it, but I was so lost after my dad left. I was so desperate to be seen that I would have sold my soul to be her friend. When you’re young being popular seems like such a fairytale. But I’ve grown.”

“So…you’re not popular?”

“Bitch, I made my _own_ popularity. People may not worship me like they worship Alison, but they still kneel in my presence.”

“I see you’re still as humble as ever.”

“I own who I am.” Hanna didn’t apologize.

Emily respected that.

“I can see that.”

They chatted and ate their breakfast. After about ten minutes Caleb poked his head out from the kitchen.

“Han, c’mon.”

“He’s about to go on break.” Hanna put her napkin on the table. “I’ve got to…”

“Yeah. Go do your thing. I’ll see you at school.” She stood up. “Be safe.” She teased.

“I’ve been on the pill for like two years.” Hanna reached in her pocket and pulled out a vial of lip gloss.

“I meant tell Caleb to wash his hands before he starts serving customers again, but that’s good, too.” Emily laughed.

“It was so great to see you, Em.” Hanna smiled. “I’m really glad you’re back.”

“It’s good to see you, too.”

Hanna waved as she skipped towards her boyfriend. She seemed genuinely happy, and Emily loved seeing that. She finished up her breakfast.

Emily looked around at the empty café and wondered if it was customary for the workers to just disappear and give the customers a chance to dine and dash. Or maybe Rosewood was more wholesome than she remembered.

Then she thought about the deviant preacher’s kid and the creepy guy who got drunk and died in a barn and she decided that no matter how innocent the place looked…there were still clearly some deep dark secrets circulating the town. Maybe even dark enough to spawn some creep to send her threatening text messages.

She left cash on the table to cover for her breakfast and for Caleb’s tip. She took a quick pit stop to the bathroom and then headed towards the front door.

“Excuse me?” She felt someone’s hand on her shoulder.

She turned around and saw a pretty young blonde smiling at her. She looked at her nametag.

_Sabrina._

What was it about blondes in this town gravitating towards her? Was she emitting a certain pheromone?

“About your bill…”

“Oh, I left cash on the table.” Emily pointed, but when she looked it was gone.

She looked at Sabrina again and noticed that she had the cash in her hand.

“It’s taken care of.” Sabrina tried to hand the money back to Emily.

“That’s…um…” Was Sabrina trying to flirt with her? “You don’t have to do that…”

“Wish I could take credit, but this was all Hanna. She said she felt bad about bailing on you.”

Emily politely smiled, taking the money back. She pulled a five out.

“I still want to leave something for Caleb.”

She knew what it felt like to desperately want to get away from home. And it sounded like he had it way worse than she did.

“Cool. I’ll put it in his tip jar.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, I overheard you talking to Hanna about finding an apartment. What exactly are you looking for?”

“I don’t know yet. Something quiet. Easily accessible. Safe.”

“My building is getting ready to shift some tenants.” She grabbed a card from the counter and wrote her address down. “Pricing is pretty fair.”

“Appreciate the help.” She put the card in her back pocket. “I’ll see you around.”

She felt better after she walked out of the café. She felt like she could at least try to get a plan in motion for the upcoming year. She just needed a steady income. She was going to go by the gym and talk to Toby about getting a job there.

It was overwhelming to have so many changes happening at once. But at the same time, she had a fresh start.

* * *

When Emily pulled into the school parking lot she realized how small the school was in comparison to her high school in Texas.

There were already several cars in the parking lot, so as she was walking in she didn’t see the car that had been on her street last night. She didn’t see the person behind the wheel watching her as she disappeared into the building.

Emily stopped by the front office to get her schedule. She had to survive a tour by a student who looked like he would rather be anywhere else. He wasn’t very enthusiastic about the school. But she thanked him for his time anyway.

She hurried off to homeroom.

The bell went off the second she opened the door. She was afraid that the teacher was going to give her hell. But the raven-haired woman behind the desk just smiled at her and told her to find a seat. Emily saw the name “Mrs. Montgomery” written in neat handwriting on the board. And it dawned on her that she knew the woman. It was Aria’s mother, Ella.

The town just seemed to get smaller and smaller. It’s like she already knew everyone. She wondered if they would remember her as the sweet little girl who had never gotten in trouble. She wasn’t that little girl anymore.

She spent her first class trying to lie low. She saw a few familiar faces, but there wasn’t much time for them to chat during class.

She saw Alison in her second period Econ class and they smiled at one another. Alison pointed to her phone. Emily looked at the front of the classroom, where the teacher was writing “Coach Wilden” on the board.

Emily frowned. She’d had coaches as teachers before, and most of the time they phoned it in.

She pulled out her phone. She saw a new message from Alison.

**_Hey Purple-Hair-Don’t-Care. You stalking me?_ **

Emily smiled as she typed her reply.

**_It’s only stalking if you don’t know I’m doing it. Besides, you’re the one who followed me into town this weekend._ **

She saw Alison look at her phone and smirk. She glanced at Emily and then looked at her phone again and started swiping on her keyboard,

**_Nice jacket. The washed up rock stars from the 70s called. They want their style back._ **

Emily didn’t miss a beat,

**_The movie Mean Girls called. They want their insults back._ **

Alison started to laugh, but quickly stifled it. A few of the kids sitting around her heard it and looked up at her. She shot them all dirty looks and they quickly went back to minding their own business.

Wilden started talking about something business related that no one was paying attention to. Alison rolled her eyes and looked at her phone again.

**_God, this is going to be the loooongest semester ever. So glad you’re here to help pass the time._ **

**_Haha, you like me._ **

**_Shut up._ **

Alison stared at her screen and waited for Emily to respond. She didn’t see the teacher glaring at her. He cleared his throat.

“Miss DiLaurentis, don’t make me confiscate it. Put it up.”

“That’s what his girlfriend said before she left him.” Alison snickered underneath her breath.

Some of the students laughed. Emily wasn’t one of them. The cheap shot had made her think about what Hanna had told her in the café. But Emily still believed there was more to Alison than what was on the surface.

Wilden narrowed his eyes and shot Alison an angry look. Emily saw her shrink into her seat. She saw a subtle change in Alison’s body language.

He looked at Emily, staring her down. He looked at her hair and shook his head to himself, like _“what self-respecting parent would let their kid do that?”_

Apparently punk rock hair was something worth talking about in Rosewood. It was all people saw when they looked at Emily. She didn’t mind. She knew she was going to have to get used to the stares and the judgment.

When the bell rang she was going to walk out with Alison, but Wilden insisted that Alison stay after class. He loudly announced that they needed to talk about her behavior and told the other students they were free to go. Alison did not look happy. Emily felt strange about leaving her behind.

She dashed through the hallway, trying to navigate all the other students doing the same. Several kids were digging through their lockers trying to switch out their books before the warning bell rang. Others were just gunning it for their next class. Emily got to her third period with two minutes to spare.

She grabbed her phone to see if Alison had texted her after she got out of the doghouse. But she only had one message. It wasn’t from Alison.

She stared at the familiar number she’d deleted a few months ago.

**_How are you? How was the move?_ **

She still felt terrible about the way she’d ended things. She knew it was shitty to become a ghost, but it’s what she had to do.

She didn’t have it in her heart to hit ‘block’. Instead she just closed out of the message and put her phone away. She tried to bury herself in her schoolwork.

When she walked into the cafeteria at lunchtime the first thing she did was look around for familiar faces. There was one face in particular she wanted to see.

Fortunately, fate was in her favor. As she was checking out with her food she saw the blonde sitting on a tabletop talking to two girls with dark hair. At second glance Emily realized they were twins. There were people sitting in chairs around the table hanging on her every word. Alison was carrying herself completely differently than she had been in Econ.

Alison saw her and waved her over. Emily maneuvered through the crowded lunchroom.

“ _This_ is the girl I was telling you about.” Alison motioned to Emily.

“She doesn’t look _that_ hard-knock.” One of the twins wasn’t impressed.

“Are you _really_ in a biker gang?” The other one was skeptical, too.

Emily could see that the girls were clinging to Alison’s popularity and didn’t like the new challenger in their midst.

“Ignore Cindy and Mindy. They share one brain cell that was split at birth.” Alison shot the girls dirty looks. “I was just telling them about how fearless you are.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t asked her to prove it yet.” The first twin frowned.

“I’m getting to that.” Alison waved at her to be quiet.

“To what?” Emily asked in confusion.

“You _look_ cool, but can you prove it?” The second twin asked.

“What exactly do you want me to do? Walk up to the biggest person in the joint and punch them in the face?” Emily bit sarcastically.

“Even better.” Alison lifted her brows as she reached into her bookbag. She pulled out three tiny realistic looking fake spiders. “You see those two losers over there?”

She motioned to a petite brunette in glasses sitting with Mike Montgomery. Emily didn’t like where this was going. She didn’t like this side of Alison. Hanna had warned her. She just didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t want to deal with another Courtney.

“Loser Mona is terrified of spiders. And Skidmark will live up to his name if he sees them.” Alison handed the spiders to Emily.

Emily looked at Mona and Mike and then she looked back at Alison. She had too much integrity to do something like that. It made her wonder what Alison would say about _her_ if she knew her secrets.

“Why would I do that?” It was stupid and juvenile and mean.

The twins laughed, tiny creepy lilting giggles that sounded like something out of a horror film. _That’s_ what they reminded her of. The twins in _The Shining_.

“Told you she was poser.” The second twin said. “The hair is trying too hard.”

“Shut it, Mindy.” Alison spun towards her in anger.

“I’m not _trying_ to be anything.” Emily tossed the fake spiders back at Alison. “And I’m not going to play these dumb games.”

Alison looked panicked that she’d said no.

“Come on. Just do it.” There was a hidden desperation in her expression, like if Emily didn’t pass this “test” she couldn’t be her friend. And it felt really immature.

Emily felt a connection to the blonde, and she couldn’t ignore it. But she wasn’t going to stoop to her level. If Alison wanted to be a part of her life she would rise above her petty bullshit.

Emily looked over at Mona and Mike. She felt a strong urge to protect the defenseless. Not that Mike and Mona were defenseless. She just didn’t like to see anyone being picked on. She flippantly waved to the group of catty bitches and turned to walk away.

“I’ll catch you later, Ali.”

Alison watched, completely stunned that Emily had just ditched her. _No one_ ditched Alison DiLaurentis.

Emily walked over to the table where Mike and Mona were sitting. Mike’s face was buried in his phone.

“This seat taken?” she asked.

Mona looked up and rolled her eyes.

“Does she have you throwing spiders at me or dumping a smoothie on Mike’s head?” she asked.

“Neither.” Emily shrugged.

Mona sized Emily up. She wasn’t sure she trusted her. She didn’t know her. But she knew Alison.

“You might want to keep walking. If Alison and her goonies see you with me your life is going to be a living hell.”

“Alison DiLaurentis doesn’t scare me.” Emily put her tray down. She looked at Aria’s brother. “Hey, Mike.”

“Hey.” He recognized her from the café.

Mona watched the exchange curiously. There was a hint of jealousy in her eyes.

“Mike and I ran into each other this morning. I used to hang out with his sister when we were kids,” Emily said.

“She’s the girl I was telling you about. The one who came by _The Brew_.” Mike took a bite of his pizza.

“Oh, the girl with the bike.” Mona nodded. She relaxed into her seat. “Yeah, Hanna texted that there was a new girl in town.”

Emily extended her hand. She smiled to let Mona know she was just being friendly.

“Emily.” She kept her gaze fixed on Alison, who looked both pissed off and impressed.

“Mona.” Mona shook her hand. “Hanna said you were kind of a badass, but I didn’t think you’d commit social suicide on the first day of school for us.”

“Nothing is going to come of it.”

“You don’t know Alison.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“Hanna will be mad she missed this. She loves seeing Alison stewing in her own rage.” Mike snickered.

“She skipped lunch today to hang with Caleb in study hall. They like to spend as much time alone as they possibly can.” Mona poured a blended juice into a disposable cup.

“I think it’s kind of cute.” Mike grinned with a stupid look on his face. He looked like a dopey puppy. When he smiled it reminded Emily of Aria.

“Yeah, it _would_ be…” Mona stirred her drink with her straw, “…if they weren’t still in the honeymoon phase after _two_ years.”

“So, Mike, how is Aria?” Emily asked. “I haven’t seen her yet.”

“She’s good. I think she paid someone off so she wouldn’t have the same lunch as I do. Don’t blame her though. I was kind of attached to her at the hip when we did our year abroad. She’s sick of me now.” Mike leaned back in his chair. He looked comfortable despite the fact that he knew others thought he was a loser.

“What about Spencer Hastings? Haven’t seen her either,” Emily said.

“Spencer and I are on the debate team together. She’s…Spencer.” Mona clearly wanted to say more, but she didn’t have to. Her tone said it all.

“She’s intense.” Mike uttered under his breath.

Emily smiled. That sounded like the Spencer she remembered.

Alison watched them from across the cafeteria, her face hot in rage. It wasn’t that Emily had defied her, or that she’d defied her in front of a crowd. It was that Emily was talking to another girl…a girl who wasn’t _her_. And it was Mona “Loser” Vanderwaal.

She’d never been jealous before. She’d never cared enough to be jealous.

It pissed her off that she couldn’t break through her walls. She’d looked at Emily’s social media, but her accounts were private. And she didn’t want to seem desperate, so she hadn’t sent her a request.

Now she’d screwed it up before she even had a chance to get to know her.

She had to fix it. But she didn’t know how. What did people do when they were sorry for things? Send flowers? Candy? An _“I’m sorry I was an insensitive jerk”_ card? Did those even exist?

When lunch was over Alison tried to follow Emily into the hallway, but she lost her in a sea of students.

Emily and Mona had the same Trig class, so they walked together. Hanna, Spencer, and Aria were in the class, too.

Aria squealed when she saw Emily. She leaped up out of her chair and ran over and wrapped her arms around her.

“It’s so good to have you back!”

Aria looked exactly the same as Emily remembered, down to her height. She had always been on the small side, but her personality and her heart were huge. Her jet black hair was cut into choppy layers with a single pink streak tucked behind her right ear. Aria’s parents were probably the kind of parents that celebrated and encouraged her differences. They had, after all, upended their lives and up and moved to Iceland with them for a year.

“You look great, Aria.” Emily smiled. “How was Iceland?”

“It was amazing. I can’t wait to tell you all about it.”

Spencer walked up behind Aria. She still looked like Spencer, but taller and with longer hair. She’d grown into her limbs. She was pretty in a very natural way. She would be the kind of girl Emily would be into if it wasn’t for the fact that she was _painfully_ straight.

“Hey, Em.” They moved in for an awkward _‘I know we haven’t seen each other in years, but I’ve been taught that it’s polite to hug your friends’_ kind of motion. “How have you been?”

“You know. Same old.” Emily shrugged as they pulled away from their hug. “You?”

“Same.”

“I’m glad you’re in this class. I’m not always great with equations and I hear you’re kind of a genius in this stuff.”

“And in every other subject known to man.” Hanna snorted.

“Yeah, Spence could probably teach Trig to you in French.” Aria smiled.

“That sounds like actual torture.” Emily laughed.

“School _is_ actual torture.” Hanna reminded her.

Emily smiled. She felt her circle of friends getting larger by the minute. But she felt like someone was missing. She knew none of the girls liked Alison, but _she_ liked her, despite her display in the cafeteria.

She didn’t see Alison again until her last class of the day. Alison raised her hand and waved, a small wave that looked like the hopeful beginnings of a truce.

Emily smiled back, but didn’t say anything to her. She buried herself in getting to know the fundamentals of English Literature.

When the class was over students couldn’t bolt out of the room fast enough.

The first day of school was officially over.

Emily packed up her things and started to walk out of the classroom. Alison quickly followed her into the hallway.

“Hey, Emily…can I talk to you?”

“Depends. Are you going to ask me to put Nair in Mike’s shampoo bottle?”

“Look, back there at lunch…that was…I’m sorry. Sometimes I take things too far. And I’m sorry.”

“What do you like about me?” Emily asked. “That I’m new? You think I’m impressionable? You want another minion?”

“No!” Alison huffed defensively. “Look, I said I was sorry, okay? I was just…” She seemed genuinely flustered, “I had a really crappy morning. Wilden was…” Her face hardened. “He was just a real dick about me using my phone in class. And it put me in a bad mood.”

Emily saw a sincere look of uneasiness on her face. And it made her feel sorry for Alison.

“Sorry you got in trouble.”

“Yeah.” Something in her tone shifted. “He’s a real piece of work. Always has been. He used to come around with my brother and he was a jackass back then, too. He’s a real macho jerk. I think he’s trying to recapture his youth vicariously through his lacrosse team. He doesn’t give a shit about anyone who doesn’t wear a jersey.”

“I get it. I had a few coaches as teachers back in Texas. Some were okay, but most of them were only on the payroll to scream at athletes on the field.”

“He _really_ hates me. I had him last year, too. I wanted to transfer out, but then I saw that you were in the class…” She looked at Emily, her cheeks reddening. It was hard for Emily not to smile when she saw her let her guard down. “I know it’s no excuse for the way I behaved.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.” Emily stopped at the doorway that led to the parking lot. She opened it for Alison.

“I know, but I still feel like a bitch for putting you in that position. Give me a chance to make it up to you?” Alison asked. “Please?”

They walked a few feet. Emily stopped at the curb.

“All right.” Emily reached into her pocket for her keys. “Text me later.”

“You heading home?”

“Nope. I’ve got to see a man about a job.” She waved to Alison.

“Is that a metaphor?” Alison asked in confusion.

“Goodbye, Ali.” Emily smiled.

Alison watched her walk away. She couldn’t help but stare at her ass. Emily knew she was looking, but she didn’t give her the satisfaction of turning around and catching her in the act.

* * *

Emily hadn’t seen Toby in school, so she rode over to the gym to see if maybe he had gone straight there after classes let out. She found him at the front desk.

“Hey.” Emily waved. “Missed you at school today.”

“Yeah, I only do half days. I’m doing an independent work study that counts towards my credits. Don’t want to spend any more time there than I have to.” Toby pushed an accounting book aside. “So, how was your first day back?”

“It’s high school.” Emily put her helmet down. “Got a favor to ask.”

“Shoot.”

“I want to renegotiate our bet.” Emily leaned against the counter.

“All sales final.” Toby leaned forward, resting his elbows against the counter.

“Just hear me out. Instead of a free membership for six months, what if I _earn_ that membership by working here…for a small fee of course.”

“You want a job?”

“If you want to call it that. I assume employees get a pretty good discount.” She smiled.

When she smiled the whole world usually succumbed to her whim. But Toby just gave her a hard time. Because he was Toby. And she was Emily. And even though they hadn’t seen each other in years, it was who they were.

“So…you now not only want me to give you free access, but you want to get _paid_ for this free access?”

“Please, Toby? I really need a job. I’m trying to save up for my own place. I’ve got enough for rent for a while, but I need to make sure that I have a steady income.”

“Didn’t you _just_ move here with your parents? And you’re already looking to move again?” He asked. “What’s the matter, new kid? Not fitting in on the block? Is Alison already chasing you out of town?”

“Actually, I had a really good talk with her Saturday. Ran into her at school today. She’s a little prickly, but she seems nice.”

“Yeah, so does a hyena before it rips off your arm.” Toby scoffed. “She’s not a good person, Em. She uses people. And she’s mean.” He frowned. “You remember when my mom was starting to get sick and she was forgetting things and sleeping all the time?”

“Yeah.”

“Alison made fun of her. Said she was lazy and dumb.”

“That’s a crappy thing to do.” Emily frowned. It didn’t surprise her, not after what she’d seen today.

“The worst part is that she was so friendly before that happened. She acted like she really liked me. Then she saw my mom during one of her lows and she was a real bitch about it.” He cringed and then added, “Sorry, I know it’s not PC, and it’s anti-feminist to call women that word, but…”

“No, it’s totally justified in this case.” Emily wasn’t going to call him on it. “How is your mom?”

The second she asked she saw his stature change. She knew the answer to the question before he responded. She regretted asking.

He leaned back and folded his arms across his chest.

“She…uh…she died a few years ago.” He swallowed hard. “Threw herself off of a balcony when she was in the mental hospital.”

“I’m so sorry.” Emily wanted to say more, but she could tell that it was making Toby uncomfortable.

The pain was still very fresh, and Emily could see it.

“It’s okay.” Toby saw a guy walking up behind Emily. He waved.

Emily turned around and saw a dark haired teen lugging a gym bag. He was tall and brawny. He waved to Toby and then turned to Emily with a charming smile on his face that would probably get him away with murder one day.

“Hey, sweetheart. Come to play with the boys?”

Emily decided in that instant that she hated him. She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

“What do you need, Noel?” Toby asked.

“Need to re-up my membership. You should have my card on file,” Noel said.

“Sign the log.” Toby pointed to a sign-up sheet. “I’ll run it through today.”

“Sweet.” Noel scribbled his name down and then faced Emily again. “Love the hair.”

“I grew it myself.” Emily retorted.

“You’re funny.” Noel laughed. He faced Toby. “She’s funny.”

“Can I help you with anything else?” Toby managed to remain professional.

“Nah, I’m good.” He flashed one last smile at Emily before he walked off.

“That’s Noel Kahn.” Toby watched him walk over to the weight lifting area. He gave a bunch of the guys there fist bumps before taking a seat. He was still staring at Emily. “He’s a real prick.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Emily glanced at him. “What’s his problem? Little stick, big ego?” That was usually the way it was when guys overcompensated.

“Wouldn’t know about that. But I do know he juices. Probably dabbles in other stuff, too. Makes him really unpredictable.” Toby looked at her with a serious expression on his face. “Stay away from him.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Emily didn’t argue.

“So, about this job…” Toby reached for a folder.

“Yo, Cavanaugh! Can I get _her_ as a spotter?” Noel lifted his brows.

Toby flipped him the bird. Noel laughed.

“You sure you want to work here? You’ll have to deal with guys like him all the time.”

“I can handle myself.” Emily glanced at him. “Or I’ll just let a barbell fall on his neck.”

“You’re hired.” Toby laughed boisterously. “Want to double as a bouncer?”

“Does that come with extra compensation?”

“I’ll negotiate it for you.” He pulled out a job application. He slipped it over to her.

Emily took a few minutes to fill it out. When she was done she gave it back to Toby. He stared at the paper for a few seconds and then looked at Emily.

“Anything else I should know?”

Emily felt like he was looking right through her, but there was no way he could know. She knew she was being paranoid. Her records were sealed. She shook her head.

“Nope. My record is squeaky clean. Trust me, I’ve been running all kinds of checks on myself to make sure there is nothing that can come back on me when I go apartment hunting.”

“What’s the deal with your parents? Why are you so anxious to get away?”

“I’m not. My mom and dad are old fashioned. Eighteen and a high school graduate means adulthood. They want me to stand on my own two feet.” She smiled nervously. “So, what do you say? Can you get me on the payroll or do I need to start selling myself on the street corner?”

“Not much of a market for prostitution in Rosewood.”

“There’s a market for being a whore everywhere.”

“I can’t let you do that. Let me talk to the manager. I’m good friends with him. Name’s Ezra. He’s a good dude. I’ll see what I can do.” He put the application down. “But…there’s one stipulation.”

“What?”

“Go out on a date with me.” He was so nervous that it came out as one breath. It surprised Emily. She could see the immediate regret on his face. “Sorry. That was kind of forward, and I’m not trying to be some bro-jerk like Noel. It’s just…when you walked in here last weekend it kind of felt like fate. When I was younger I always had a crush on you, and when you moved away I never thought I’d get a chance to see you again.” His face reddened. He was starting to get flustered. “I feel like I’m talking too much. I’m talking way too much…”

“No, it’s fine.” Emily assured him. “But I can’t go out with you…”

“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?” Toby looked embarrassed. “I should have known. You’re so pretty. No way you’d be single…” He was blathering again.

“I am single. I mean, there was someone...back in Texas. But we’re not together anymore. That’s not the reason. I like girls. I’m gay, Toby.”

“Oh.” He pulled back. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. “I didn’t know. Sorry if I put you in a weird position.”

“Nothing weird about it. I get hit on a lot. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo on my forehead that says ‘Girls only’.” She joked.

His embarrassment morphed into genuine curiosity.

“Did you always know?”

“I think so.” Emily thought about her childhood. She remembered looking at girls the way her friends looked at boys. “That doesn’t mean we can’t hang out though. We can still go on a date, but it would be more of a ‘friend date’.”

“I know you’re throwing me a bone, but I’ll take it. It would be cool to catch up. My treat. How does next Friday look?”

“It’s a non-date date.”

“Good. So I don’t have to wear a tux.” He winked.

“Like _you_ own a tux?” Emily laughed.

“Hey, Toby, the new equipment is in! Truck just pulled in!” Jake called out from an aerobics area.

“Got it!” He looked at Emily. “I gotta run. Work beckons.”

“Hopefully it will beckon for me soon, too.”

“I’ll call you.” He motioned to the application. “In the meantime feel free to use that free membership to your advantage.”

The first place Emily went to was the boxing area. She wasn’t wearing the ideal attire to work out, but she figured a few minutes couldn’t hurt, so she grabbed some rental equipment and took a few turns practicing on the heavy bag. She would have stayed longer, but Noel was creeping around and asking her all kinds of questions.

When he started hitting on her with cheesy pick-up lines like, _“I’d take blows to the head from you any day”_ she bailed.

Toby was right. He was total slime. She could just feel the steroid testosterone dripping off of him.

She dipped out on him and walked out front where her bike was parked. When she got closer she saw a fortune cookie wrapped in plastic taped to the leather seat.

She reached for the cookie and peeled the plastic wrap off. She broke it open and pulled out the slip of paper inside.

_“Don’t bother planning for a future. You don’t have one.”_

Emily whipped her head around looking to see if anyone was watching her. She started to take a step back towards the gym and ran headfirst into Toby. He was carrying some equipment inside. He nearly dropped the box, but he managed to stay upright with it in his arms.

“Whoa, hey…you okay?” He saw the look on her face.

“Did you see who left this?” She held up the fortune cookie.

“A fortune cookie? No. Why?” He looked confused. “Wait…” He tried to piece it together. She seemed upset, but he couldn’t figure out why a fortune cookie would bother her. Suddenly, it clicked. “Is someone pulling like…a race thing? Like they’re saying just because you’re Asian or something…”

“No.” Emily stuffed the message in her pocket and tossed the cookie into a garbage can. “It was probably just a stupid prank. Hazing the new girl.”

Toby made a face that Emily didn’t like.

“Feels like classic Alison.” He frowned.

“No. I don’t think this was her.”

“I’m telling you, Em. Those dimples and that smile is the devil in disguise.” He clucked his tongue. “Besides, Mike says you pissed her off at lunch today.”

“She actually apologized to me for being a bitch.”

“That’s new. I didn’t realize the word ‘sorry’ was in her vocabulary.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. She glanced at the box in his hands. It looked heavy. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

“See you on our date.”

“Make sure to bring me a dress corsage.” She joked.

He laughed. She watched him walk back inside. She looked around one more time, trying to determine if anyone wandering around could have left the message for her. She frowned. She was being paranoid. Someone was just messing with her because she was the new girl in town. It was probably those freaky twins Alison hung out with.

Emily hopped on her bike and left the gym.

When she got home neither one of her parents were there. Her mother had a job interview and her father had some business in town.

She threw her things down. She reached for her phone and plopped down on her bed. She glanced at the screen. There was another message with a Texas area code.

**_Come on, Em. I miss talking to my best friend._ **

It was almost enough to get her to respond. But she’d made a promise before she left town. And she had to stick to her word, no matter how much it killed her.

She really wanted to get on Instagram and Snapchat to see what everyone back in San Antonio was up to, but she knew it would lead her down a rabbit hole that she didn’t want to go down.

She heard something hit her window and she looked up. Her phone chimed. She had a new message from Alison.

**_Look outside._ **

She pushed herself off of the bed and looked out the window. Alison was standing in her yard. She waved up at her and held her phone out for Emily to see.

Emily texted her,

**_The stalk-ee has become the stalker._ **

**_Heard your bike. WYD?_ **

**_Nothing._ **

**_Good. My backyard. 5 mins._ **

Emily couldn’t help but smile. Despite all of the warnings her friends had given her about Alison, Emily still felt a pull towards her.

Emily glanced down at Alison and messaged her back,

**_How do I know you’re not planning on mugging me?_ **

**_You don’t. Isn’t that the fun of it? Thought you were a badass._ **

Emily made her wait ten minutes. She was letting her sweat it out.

It worked.

When she walked into Alison’s backyard she saw the blonde nervously fidgeting on a bench. When Alison saw her she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thought you were going to stand me up.” Alison moved to her feet. She walked over to Emily. “So, how was your first day of school?”

“Ran into a bitch a school.”

“I deserved that.” Alison couldn’t argue.

There was an awkward beat of silence between them.

“Hey, did you leave me a fortune cookie earlier?” Emily asked.

“Uh…no.” She was caught off-guard. “Why? Is that like…is it customary or…should I do that?”

“No. Forget it.” Emily shook her head. “So, what do you have planned? Are you going to throw a _real_ spider at me? Because I’m just going to warn you right now, it won’t work. I had a pet tarantula for a while.”

“Seriously?”

“They’re actually very docile.” Emily nodded.

“I never knew that.”

“Most people don’t. They just see ‘spider’ and think ‘kill it with fire’. But a lot of spiders are pretty chill. They just want to hang out and eat bugs.”

“You have a pretty strong hard-on for spiders.” Alison laughed. “What’s next? You going to tell me that black widows are an endangered species and need to be saved?”

“Oh, no, I would totally kill one of those with fire.”

Alison laughed. She grabbed Emily’s hands and pulled her towards the woods. She dragged her along a trail.

Emily couldn’t help but look at the leaves on the trees around them. They were slowly changing colors. She also couldn’t help but pay very close attention to Alison’s hand in hers as they walked together.

Alison came to an abrupt halt when they reached a clearing. Emily looked at the patchy area. Leaves were scattered everywhere. In the center of the clearing there was an old watering well. The cement cinder blocks around the base were crumbling and it was overgrown with moss. It looked like something out of a travel magazine. Alison tugged her over towards it.

“I’ve seen a lot of horror movies that start out like this.” Emily peered at the well. She faced Alison with a crooked smile. “You’re a serial killer, aren’t you?”

“Haven’t reached _serial_ status yet.” Alison lifted her brows mischievously.

“Okay, Ted Bundy, wanna tell me why you brought me out here?”

“It’s proof,” Alison said.

“Of what? The industrial revolution?”

“That I wasn’t always that girl you saw today at school.” Alison reached into her pocket. She pulled out two coins. “I used to come out here when I was a little girl. I’d fantasize about everything I ever wanted. It was back when I still had this dream that there was good in the world.”

“What made you stop believing?” Emily looked at her curiously.

“I don’t know. But…I’m ready to start believing again.” She handed a coin to Emily. “Make a wish.”

Emily was baffled. The girl standing in front of her seemed so different than the girl she’d seen in the cafeteria.

“What is this?” Emily asked.

“It’s a quarter.”

“No. I mean…” She wasn’t sure what she meant. She had been warned by _three_ people in the same day to steer clear of her, but she couldn’t, “…I don’t know what your deal is, but I’ve got too much going on in my life to play games. So, I just want to know…why am I here? Is there an endgame to this? Are you just trying to get back at me for what I said in the cafeteria?”

Alison sighed, leaning against the wishing well.

“I like you. I was just trying to impress you.”

“Pulling stupid pranks and hurting other people is really immature. And I thought you were above that.” Emily looked at the bottomless well. Her voice was carrying because of the echo. “I don’t want to be around someone who puts others down.”

Mean girls like her were a dime a dozen. Every school had one. San Antonio was no exception. Courtney always acted like she was better than the other girls, because she was a year older. No one was daring enough to point out that the reason Courtney was the oldest in her class was because she’d been held back a grade in elementary school.

Emily tried to stay off of Courtney’s crew’s radar back in Texas. If she had stayed for her senior year they would have had a ton of ammo to use against her. Emily didn’t like to think of other kids in that position. She felt the urge to stand up for the Mikes and the Monas of the world. Because given the right circumstances, she’d be on the receiving end of that hate.

“I thought you would think it was cool.” Alison bit back defensively. “I just wanted you to like me.”

“I don’t want you to be who you _think_ I want. I want you to be _you_. And I know you’re better than Cindy and Mindy.”

“How could you possibly know that? You’ve been here…what…three days?”

“Call it a hunch.” Emily glanced at the quarter in her hand. She rolled it around in her fingers and then tossed it into the well. After what felt like an eternity of silence she heard it plop into the water. “And I really hope I’m right.” She looked up at Alison. “Because I like you, too.”

Emily smiled at her. Alison felt a warmth in her chest when Emily looked at her. She peered at the well and tossed her coin in, too.

“Sit with me at lunch tomorrow.” Alison leaned up against the edge of the well.

It made Emily nervous to see Alison so close to the edge. If her foot slipped she could fall in.

“Why don’t you sit with me?” Emily moved next to her, their arms brushing.

“If I sit with Skidmark and Loser Mo…” Alison stopped herself, a look of remorse on her face. “Sorry. Old habits. If I sit with Mike and Mona I’ll be the laughingstock of the whole school. No one will respect me anymore.”

“Then I guess we’re not sitting together.” Her knuckles bumped into Alison’s.

Alison looked down and saw their fingers touching. She felt a spark between them, and she hated it. She hated that Emily had this kind of power of her. She swallowed a knot in her throat.

“Whose respect would you rather have? A bunch of vapid teenagers you’re going to leave behind some day…or me…and my punk ass hair?” Emily asked. “Show me who you _really_ are, Ali.”

Alison couldn’t stop herself from staring at Emily’s lips. They looked soft and warm and velvety. She wanted to see what they felt like. She wanted to touch them. To kiss them. She wanted to know what Emily tasted like.

Emily’s phone buzzed from her pocket. She pulled it out and saw a message from her dad.

“I’ve gotta go. My parents need some help around the house.” She looked at their surroundings. “Thanks for showing me this.”

She started to walk back towards the trail.

“Hey, wait.” Alison called out after her. Emily turned around to face her. “What did you wish for?”

Emily’s lips curved into a smile.

“If I told you it wouldn’t come true.”

Alison watched her walk away. And she quietly hoped that they’d wished for the same thing.

Once upon a time she had believed there was good in the world. And that good just so happened to be a punk with purple hair and a motorcycle. So she wanted to believe in magic. She wanted to believe in wishes. She wanted to believe that the impossible was possible. She wanted to believe in anything that would get her closer to Emily Fields.

Alison DiLaurentis had been running Rosewood for years on her own terms. She had a set of rules and the people followed them. But Emily didn’t believe in her rules. It was quite clear that in order to be with Emily she was going to have to play by Emily’s rules.

So all she had was the notion of a wish.


	3. Damage Control

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

**Damage Control**

Emily avoided an awkward breakfast with her parents the next morning by telling them that she was going in to school early to get a jump on some of her classwork. Her mother didn’t argue with anything studious. She gave Emily her blessing.

Emily grabbed her swimsuit and goggles from a pile of clothes she’d yet to put away. She wanted to see what Rosewood’s pool was like.

Emily stopped by the pool before she went to homeroom. It was quiet and dark. The lights at her old school had been on a motion sensor timer, but the only lights Emily saw in the dark pool area were the underwater lights.

She looked up and could see the sky through the natural glass ceiling. The swimmers probably thrived off of the sunlight during races. She always had. She took a step towards the pool. Several motion sensor lights surrounding the glass ceiling flickered on.

The pool was huge. It looked clean, too. The administrators had probably gotten it fresh for the new school year. Emily really missed being part of a team. She missed being in the water. She couldn’t wait to try it out.

She thought about jumping in for a few minutes, but she knew if she did she’d never want to leave and then she’d be late to class. She thought about what Toby said about how the best time to swim a few laps was after school. And she decided to be patient.

She pulled out her phone and checked her messages. She saw another ominous threat from an unknown number.

**_If you don’t talk, I will._ **

She wanted to reply with **_“New fone, who dis?”_** but the last thing she needed was some angry troll mad at her. She assumed if she didn’t feed it, it would go away. She put her phone away and focused on school.

She sat through homeroom and her first period class watching the clock. She knew she wouldn’t have to do that in her second period class.

She tried to make it to her Econ class early so she could spend a few minutes alone with Alison. When she got close to the classroom she heard the sound of two heated voices arguing. One of them was Alison.

Emily immediately recognized the other voice.

Wilden.

She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she caught the tail end of the teacher snapping at her.

“Don’t test me.”

Emily stopped when she reached the door. She saw Alison standing in front of him with a defiant stance. He was looming over her, an angry look on his face.

They both moved the second they saw her.

He walked over to the door as Emily walked into the classroom. She glared at him.

He stopped outside the door to monitor the hallway traffic.

“Hey, you okay?” Emily walked over to Alison.

Alison loved that Emily’s first response was to nurture her, to _care_. No one had ever cared about her before. She’d never had love she hadn’t manipulated out of people. It was different.

“I’m fine.” Alison walked towards her desk.

“Ali…” She gently reached out for her arm. Alison stopped walking the second she felt Emily’s fingers against her skin. She felt the hair on the back of her neck standing up. She wanted to scream. Because _why_ did Emily make her feel these things? “What was that about?”

Alison looked towards the doorway. Wilden was standing around and cheerfully talking to students acting like he was the nicest guy in the world. She hated him.

“He’s just being a dick. He likes to find any excuse in the book to give me a hard time.” She felt herself starting to relax as she let it out. Emily made her feel safe. “He threatened to call my parents about me disrupting class yesterday. And he took my phone away.”

“He can’t do that.” Emily walked towards his desk.

She made sure he wasn’t paying attention and then she reached for his desk drawer.

“Don’t.” Alison stopped her. “There’s no reason you should go on his shit list, too. I’ll get it back after class.”

“He probably won’t even miss it…”

“I said _no_ , Emily.” Alison snapped curtly, her tone vicious.

Emily hadn’t expected her to snap at her. She put her hands up and backed away from the desk.

“Okay, fine.” She moved towards her desk. There was a lull. Emily tried to ease the tension. “I guess we’re just going to have to pass notes like they did in the stone ages.”

Alison’s icy demeanor melted and she smiled. The brunette had a way to her heart. Emily really was going to make this class more bearable for her, though the subject material didn’t make it easy.

Nobody was participating willingly, so Wilden was forcing people to answer by calling on them randomly.

“If someone takes out a loan for $5,000 and repays it over a fixed period of time with the payback of $6,500, what is that additional $1,500 representative of…Emily?” He glanced at his roster.

She knew the answer, but when he looked at her she felt a twinge of anger. She didn’t like that he’d upset Alison.

“Extortion.” She glared at him. She heard Alison snicker from behind her. “It’s BS that someone with that much power and influence can take something that doesn’t belong to them.”

“Interest.” He tapped his marker against the side of his desk.

“Extortion doesn’t _interest_ me.” Emily mumbled.

Another giggle from Alison. Emily smiled in satisfaction.

When the class was over several kids winked and gave her a thumbs up for sticking it to Wilden. The coach was less impressed. He handed Alison back her phone and then glanced at Emily. As the girls were walking out the door together he cleared his throat.

“Emily, can I see you before you leave, please?”

Alison stopped walking and turned to face him. She gave him the most obstinate angry look Emily had ever seen.

Emily put her hand on Alison’s arm to calm her down, just like she’d done at the beginning of class. She stopped her before she could say something to get in more trouble.

“Go ahead. I’ll catch you at lunch.” Emily glanced towards the door.

Alison looked between Emily and Wilden. She seemed hesitant to leave.

“But I...”

Emily tightened her grip on Alison’s arm. There was an urgency in her touch that Alison couldn’t ignore.

“ _Go_ , Ali. You don’t want to be late for your next class.” She dropped her hand and motioned Alison towards the door.

Alison stood in place for another minute before she finally relented and walked out of the classroom.

Emily walked over to Wilden’s desk.

“You’re new here, correct?” he looked up at Emily from his chair.

“Yeah. Just transferred from San Antonio.”

“Huh. Texas.” He nodded. “Heard everything is bigger in Texas.” He stared at her. “Including attitudes apparently.” He put his palms against his desk and stood up. Emily had seen people in the military and police do the exact same thing…try to tower over someone to intimidate them. It didn’t faze her at all. “Listen, students come here to learn. And I can’t do my job if people like you and your new little friend Alison are undermining me at every turn. So do me a favor and stick to the topic from now on, okay?”

Emily clutched her right hand into a fist. She wanted to hit him so badly. He seemed like every power-hungry authoritarian she’d ever run into. He probably couldn’t stand it when he wasn’t on the field telling others what to do. He probably hated it when people weren’t afraid of him.

“I’ll do my best,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Good.” He smiled, though it was tepid. “I’m glad we understand each other.” He looked at the clock. “You’re free to go.”

Emily turned to walk towards the door, but he called her name again. She turned around and looked at him. Men like him always had to have the last word to make themselves feel like they were still in control.

“You seem like a savvy young lady. I’ve seen your transcripts. You could really make a future for yourself with your grades. But you have to be careful about distractions.”

Her hand balled into a fist again. Was that a shot at Alison?

“You would be wise to be careful about the company you keep.” He warned her.

It was _definitely_ a shot at Alison.

“I think I’m smart enough to pick my own friends.” Emily replied coolly before she turned around and hoofed it out of the classroom.

She could barely concentrate in her next class because she was so angry. She felt like texting Alison, but she didn’t want to get her in trouble with another teacher. So she waited for lunch.

She didn’t see Alison, but she found Hanna, Caleb, Mona, and Mike. She took a seat at their table.

“Hey, _Decaf_. How’s it hanging?” Caleb waved.

“Decaf?” Mona made a face, like the word insulted her great grandmother.

“Yeah. She’s weird.” Hanna nodded, curling her arm into Caleb’s. She pushed up against him. “How are you liking Rosewood High so far?”

“It’s okay.” Emily shrugged, eating a bite of her rice.

“Wow, don’t hold back.” Hanna rolled her eyes with a laugh.

“Is that what you said to Caleb in the supply closet this morning?” Mike jabbed Caleb in the ribs.

Everyone at the table laughed. For a few seconds it drowned out the rest of the cafeteria.

The laughter came to an abrupt end when they heard someone loudly clearing their throat.

All attention turned to the blonde who had snuck up on them. Everyone waited for some snappy insult or a cruel prank, but instead she just waved.

“Hey, Emily.” Alison smiled. She looked nervous, which Emily thought was kind of cute. Alison knew that this was a test. And she didn’t want to fail. She looked at everyone else at the table. “Do you mind if I sit?”

“Why?” Hanna eyed her suspiciously.

Emily could feel the tension. Alison had really done a number on them. It was going to take a lot of work to undo her years of torment. But the fact that Alison was standing there looking like a lost puppy proved that she was willing to take that step. And it was enough for Emily.

She pushed out the empty chair next to her and waved for Alison to sit down. Everyone at the table gawked at Emily like she’d lost her mind.

Alison put her tray down. She wasn’t sure what to say to the crowd. She’d screwed a lot of them over in more ways than one. She’d been the one to dub Aria’s little brother _Skidmark_ after sneaking dirty underpants in his gym locker. She’d shunned Mona and had gotten most of the school to call her _Loser Mona_.

She’d called Hanna _Hefty Hanna_ throughout middle school. It had done a number on Hanna’s body image. But freshman year Hanna had come back looking stunning and dating the hot new boy in town. Since then they’d had several spats. Hanna’s new looks had come with a new attitude, too. And new Hanna was not patient enough to deal with Alison’s crap.

The only person at the table Alison had never messed with was Caleb, but it was only because she thought he was hot. That was another reason Hanna didn’t like her. She knew Alison had eyes for her boyfriend.

“Mona, I really like that blouse.” Alison pointed to her outfit. She didn’t. She thought it was hideous. She had to refrain from calling her _Frumpty Dumpty._ She needed to play nice.

“Um…thank you?” Mona shifted back nervously. She was waiting for Alison to throw something all over her or kick her chair out from under her.

The table got quiet again. The awkward tension in the air was palpable. Alison looked at Emily and then at the rest of the group.

“So, Indigo Girl here…”

“Violet.” Emily corrected her. They both smiled at one another.

“…she made me realize what a miserable bitch I’ve been.” Alison wasn’t sure how else to say it.

Mona dropped her fork. Mike almost choked on his chicken tenders. Hanna’s jaw dropped open.

“You needed someone else to point out what a bully you’ve been?” It was Caleb who spoke first. He put his arm over Hanna’s shoulder and pulled her closer. He knew the hell that Alison had put her through, and he did not intend to ever forgive her.

Hanna smiled and looked at Alison smugly.

Alison felt like throwing her drink at Hanna’s snide little face. Instead, she looked at Emily, who gave her an encouraging nod. Emily could see the girl she’d seen on her first day in town. She could see the girl at the wishing well. Alison wanted to be that girl. She wanted other people to see that girl. But she had to do a lot of damage control first.

“Clearly I’ve made some… _questionable_ choices.” Alison forced a smile on her face.

“Questionable?” Hanna laughed darkly. “You put Tabasco sauce in my face cream.”

“You almost sent me to the hospital when you put that wasp in my car.” Mona glared at her.

“I...I didn’t know you were allergic.”

Emily felt a sense of horror when she realized how terrible Alison’s actions actually were. It was like Courtney all over again. Only Courtney had never cared enough to make amends. After she’d stabbed someone she’d made it a point to twist the knife in deeper to cause more damage.

“You almost cost me my scholarship when you swiped my paperwork before I could mail it.” Mona clenched her fork.

“You made me hate myself in middle school. You made me hate myself to the point that I stopped eating because I thought I was fat and ugly.” Hanna clenched her jaw.

Emily turned to face Alison, her eyes narrowing in disapproval. And it made Alison feel terrible. Emily had the softest eyes she’d ever seen and she didn’t like to see them looking at her like she was a demon seed.

“I’m sorry,” Alison said.

“You think ‘I’m sorry’ makes up for all the times you ragged on me? What was it you said that one time? _‘A face not even your father loved enough to stay…’_?” Hanna asked.

Emily glared angrily at Alison. She knew Alison had a deep cruel streak in her, but that was a new low. Alison didn’t need to be a mind-reader for her to know that Emily was thinking that she’d made a mistake befriending her. Alison panicked at the thought of losing Emily before she got a chance to know her.

“I know I hurt you. I really do want to make it up to you. I can relate to having shitty parents.” Alison bit through her teeth. Hanna stared at her, uncertain of what to say. She had not been expecting her to apologize. “Look, it’s senior year. I just thought…” Alison looked at Emily, “…maybe it’s time for a change.”

“Did you join a cult?” Hanna asked. “Are you like…a pod person now? Or even worse...a _God_ person? Did you find your Lord and savior or something and now suddenly all your sins are absolved?”

“Oh, I know what this is.” Mike snapped his fingers. “This is like one of those bet things where you befriend the losers and try to turn them into cool kids by the end of the year. I’ve seen that movie a million times.”

“No. It isn’t…it’s not…” Alison clenched her jaw in frustration. She wanted to scream at them to shut up. She wanted to tell them that they should feel honored to be in her presence, “…I’m just trying to be a better person. Just…shut up and take my generosity.”

No one at the table said anything. Alison expected Emily to come to her defense like she had in class, but Emily was letting her swim through the murky waters of this tsunami on her own. Alison couldn’t stand the silence. So she turned and faced the only person at the table she felt comfortable talking to.

“Did you get in trouble with Wilden?” Alison asked the brunette.

“No. Not really. He just told me not to talk back to him in class again.”

“I hate that guy.” Mona stabbed her fork into her salad. She looked deeply uncomfortable. Emily didn’t miss the way she shrank into her seat. “He gives me the creeps.”

“Yeah.” Alison nodded in agreement. “Same here.”

Everyone at the table looked at her again, like they were surprised she was still there. Alison forced her way through the awkward lunch so she could stay seated next to Emily. She could see Cindy and Mindy watching with judgmental stares from across the cafeteria. She still wasn’t sure how she was going to navigate between the two different cliques. She knew it wasn’t possible. She knew she was going to have to choose. But she didn’t want to. Not yet.

Alison stood up and grabbed her tray.

“I’m going to get a yogurt. Does anyone want anything?” she asked.

Everyone shook their heads. Alison got the feeling they were all just worried she’d spit in their food. She walked off to drop her tray off at the tray return.

“What did you do to her?” Hanna whispered.

“I just talked to her…like a real person.” Emily acted like it was no big deal.

She had no idea how big of a deal it really was.

“You just _talked to her_?” Hanna said it like she couldn’t believe it, like Alison DiLaurentis was incapable of understanding the English language. “The magic you have is terrifying.”

“At least she’s trying.” Emily pointed out.

“Yeah, so do serial killers before they slit your throat.” Mona scoffed. Everyone glanced at her. “What? I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries.”

“Maybe watch something a little less murdery?” Mike suggested.

“I had the serial killer conversation with her already. She assured me she wasn’t one.” Emily took a sip of her drink.

“Look, I’ll give this a chance, because I really like hanging out with you again.” Hanna looked at Alison and then back at Emily. “But I don’t trust her.”

“None of us do.” Mona agreed.

“I know she’s been terrible to you all. And I’m not asking you to forgive her. I probably wouldn’t if I were in your shoes. But we’ve all got to find some common ground here if we want to survive senior year. Maybe we can learn a few things about each other.”

“What a mom-friend thing to say.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I know I’m asking a lot of you.” She knew how it felt to have to be civil to someone who made life a living hell. “I get it if you guys don’t want her around.”

“Yeah, but we want _you_ around.” Hanna leaned forward. She thought about it for a few seconds. “I’m in.”

“Me, too. But if she messes with anyone here I’m going to put visine in her coffee.” Caleb kicked his feet out underneath the table and crossed his ankles, leaning back in his chair.

“We call that one the Hershey Squirt Special.” Mike grinned. He looked at Emily. “As long as you keep your girl in check I can hang. She’s really the only one who even remembers the whole _Skidmark_ thing at this point anyway. Some kid named Todd got a stiffy in front of the whole class yesterday and now he’s the legend around here. Everyone is calling him _Roddy Toddy_.”

“What do you say, Mona?” Hanna looked at her best friend. “Keep your friends close…your enemies closer?”

“I don’t have a problem with it. I’ve got a full ride to Columbia after I graduate, so Rosewood will just be a blip in my rearview. Maybe I can even put something on my resume about working with underdeveloped children.” She snickered and looked towards Alison.

“Well, this is going to be a fun year.” Emily muttered sarcastically.

Alison came strolling back to the table. She had a bunch of individually wrapped fortune cookies and a yogurt. She put the fortune cookies down.

“Seriously?” Emily asked.

“The International Club is seeking recruitment by bribing people.” She sat down.

Emily looked over and saw a bunch of people handing them out. She didn’t recognize anyone in the club. She had to wonder if one of them was tormenting her from afar. But for what reason?

“Already? It’s only the second day.” Mike was the first to reach for one of the cookies.

Everyone else looked at him like he’d lost his mind. Taking _cookies_ from their mortal enemy?

“What? I highly doubt she had the time and ingenuity to craft together some poison fortune cookies.” He ripped the plastic off.

He broke the cookie in half and pulled out a tiny sleeve of paper before he devoured the entire cookie.

“You are a human garbage disposal.” Mona shook her head.

“ _When one door closes, another opens._ ” He read the fortune. “Lame.” He rolled his eyes.

Everyone else reached for Alison’s attempt at a peace offering. They each opened their cookies and pulled their fortunes out.

“ _The success you seek will lead to a bountiful future._ Hmm.” Mona smiled. She liked the sound of it.

“Mine’s empty.” Hanna frowned, disappointed.

“That just means you can create whatever future you want.” Emily shrugged.

“Here, you create your own future.” Hanna handed Caleb her cookie and reached for another one. “I want something better.”

“Hanna, you can literally make it whatever you want…”

“That’s too much work.” Hanna shushed Caleb. “I want something predetermined.”

“What does yours say?” Alison looked at Emily.

Emily stared at the biscuit before breaking it open. She tried not to think about the fortune she’d gotten yesterday. She cracked her cookie open and pulled out the tiny slip of paper.

“ _A surprise awaits in your future._ ” She stared at the message.

Alison tried to read her reaction, but Emily had a solid poker face. After a few seconds she huffed out a quiet laugh, a joke she seemed to be the only one in on.

“Joke is on me.” Emily put her fortune down. “I’m here in Rosewood.” With secrets. “Surprise!” She faced Alison. “What did you get?”

Alison pulled her fortune out and read it aloud without thinking about it.

“ _You will find your soulmate when you least expect it._ ” When she heard it out loud she did her best not to blush, but she felt her cheeks getting hot. She wasn’t able to contain her smile. She pressed her lips together. When she smiled Emily could see her dimples. “Well, I guess that means I’ll be meeting Lady Gaga when I least expect it.”

Emily knew she was trying to be coy, but she saw the bashful look on the blonde’s face. She liked getting glimpses of the Alison who hid behind the mean girl façade.

Alison was on her best behavior at lunch. And she was surprisingly engaged in their English Literature class. A conversation about popular authors had sparked a discussion in the class. Emily got to talk to Alison one-on-one during the debate about Edgar Allan Poe’s _The Tell-Tale Heart_.

Their conversation was about whether the narrator was sane or insane.

“The narrator is unreliable. He’s telling the story in _his_ point of view. So he’d be biased. He’s writing his own story and passing it off as reality. But everyone’s reality is different.” Emily said.

“We’re all the writers of our own lives. We get to choose how we see ourselves.” Alison argued.

“But that doesn’t change the way others perceive us. Because that comes from within each individual.”

“That’s an excellent point, Emily.” The teacher pointed out.

Alison winked at her. She’d set Emily up for that. She actually agreed with Emily’s point-of-view. But she’d wanted an opportunity to talk to her in class without getting in trouble. When class was over they walked out together.

“Perception is reality, hmm?” Alison playfully bumped into Emily’s shoulder. “ _That_ same old argument?”

“I like what you said about how we write our own stories. Forget all that predetermined destiny crap. We hold the pen in our own lives.”

“That’s really good.” Alison was impressed.

“It’s Harley Davidson.” Emily admitted.

“Of course it is.” Alison laughed. “You know, you didn’t strike me as the literary type.”

“Neither did you.”

“English is one of my favorite subjects. Always has been. Because characters are immortalized in fiction.” There was a dreamy sultry look on the blonde’s face.

“And you appreciate immortality?”

“A legend living on forever? Duh.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“ _Great Expectations_.” Alison leaned against the lockers. “Dickens was big on happy endings. Did you know that?”

Emily didn’t have the heart to tell her that the initial draft of _Great Expectations_ did not have nearly as happy an end as the one that had been published.

“I did.” Emily nodded, stopping at her locker.

“So, what’s on your agenda this afternoon? Are you going to sneak into a biker bar?”

“There are biker bars in Rosewood?” Emily laughed as she unloaded some of her books.

“I think there is one on the outskirts of town.”

Emily had only been to a biker bar once. She’d gone with Nick to see his cousin about possibly getting another tattoo. It had been filled to the brim with big hairy guys toting around their beers and chain-smoking cigarettes. But after talking with some of them she realized a lot of them had huge hearts. A group of bikers that were there had formed a non-profit for abused children. They had explained that a biker was always available for kids to reach out when they were scared. It had broadened Emily’s mind about motorcycles.

She’d gone in to talk about a tattoo, but had come out talking about getting a motorcycle. Nick had teased her, telling her that her parents would send her to a conversion camp if they found out their dear sweet little angel was in a biker gang.

 _“You’ve got the ink, the hair, and the attitude. You get the bike and they might think you’re a step away from turning full on ‘Dykes on Bikes’ on them,”_ he’d playfully shoved her when they walked out.

Emily had laughed nervously.

He didn’t know how close to the truth he was that day.

“No biker bars for me. I was planning on going for a quick swim in the pool.” Emily threw a book in her bookbag. “I kind of miss it. I was big into it back in Texas.”

“Yeah?” Alison was intrigued. She wasn’t going to say ‘no’ to seeing Emily in a swimsuit. “Maybe I’ll go with you.”

“Got a suit?” Emily closed her locker door.

“No. But I like to watch.”

“Kinky.” Emily lifted her brows.

Alison laughed.

“Actually, I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I was going to ask you if you would give me a ride home.” She shuffled on her feet. “I mean, that is...if you don’t want to completely write me out of your life after what happened at lunch today...”

Emily slowly looked up from her locker. She still didn’t know whether Alison’s actions when she was making amends were sincere. But she wanted to find out. She wanted to know more about her. There was a strange longing feeling in her heart. She hadn’t felt this alive since she’d been with Maya.

“You’ve done some pretty shitty things,” Emily said.

“I have.” Alison couldn’t deny it.

There was a beat of silence and then Emily sighed.

“So have I.” That surprised Alison. Emily didn’t seem like the type to hurt other people. Emily threw her bookbag over her shoulder. “So, how did you get here?”

“Bad parenting. Power trips. No supervision. Repressed sexuality. Thrill of manipulation. I don’t know. Maybe I’m a sociopath?” Alison played it off jokingly.

Emily laughed, though Alison didn’t understand why.

“I meant how did you get to school? Why do you need a ride?”

“Oh.” Alison chuckled. She smiled. “I might have accidentally…on purpose…asked for a ride this morning without arranging for a way to get home.”

“You _wanted_ to be stranded?” Emily asked.

“If it means spending time with you.”

Emily took a moment to consider what she wanted to do. It wasn’t really a question. The blonde had her under her spell.

“I guess you’re stuck with me then,” Emily said with a shrug. She grabbed Alison’s hand. “Come on, Uptown Girl.”

Alison couldn’t get over the fact that Emily was holding her hand. It was different than their time in the woods. Because it had been Emily who reached out this time. It’s exactly what Alison wanted.

She knew it was ridiculous to care so much about someone she’d only met four days ago, but she felt like she’d known Emily her entire life. She’d never realized how special she was when they were younger. Or maybe she had and she was just too afraid to admit it, because she hadn’t accepted herself back then.

There was something edgy and dangerous about the girl. But she also had such a unique spirit. Alison felt like she’d been dropped into the middle of a terrible romance novel. If it was anyone else in her shoes she would call it ridiculous and a slippery slope of tropes. After all, how special was “girl meets mysterious girl, girl falls for girl, girl decides she wants to spend the rest of her life with perfect stranger after three hours”?

To Alison, it was pretty damn special. Because it was _her_. And it was _Emily_.

She waited on Emily to get changed into her bathing suit. Alison considered just taking her clothes off and swimming in her underwear, but she didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard.

Instead, she watched as Emily approached the diving block in her black and silver bathing suit. The bottom was solid black with silver trim that reached up to her abdomen, but from there the suit blended into a sliver of black and silver swirls up her chest. It fit her perfectly. Her arms and legs were long and tone and tan. Her skin looked ridiculously soft.

Emily pulled her goggles down over her face and leaned down against the block. Alison watched curiously as Emily took several breaths before throwing her hands out and diving into the water.

Alison moved down to get a closer look. She kicked her shoes off and sat against the edge of the pool next to the diving block. She put her feet in the lane next to Emily’s and watched her shoot through the water.

The brunette looked so natural in the water. Everything about her movements was organic and fluid. Stroke after stroke was perfect. She was swimming to the timing of Alison’s heartbeat. It was one of the most remarkable things Alison had ever witnessed.

It was strange watching something as mundane as someone swimming laps, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of Emily cutting through the water. She was like the true embodiment of a mermaid. If it was anyone else Alison knew there was no way she’d be sitting there watching. But with Emily she felt as though she was more than just a spectator. She felt like she was part of it.

Emily did several laps before she came up for a break. She slowed her pace and swam towards Alison. She stopped when she reached the edge of the pool. She leaned up on her arms.

“You’re really fast.” Alison kicked her feet in the water. “You didn’t just do this for fun back west, did you?”

“I was on the team in San Antonio. Was on track to get a scholarship.”

“Are you going to try out to be a Rosewood Shark?” Alison wouldn’t mind seeing more of her in a bathing suit.

She saw Emily’s facial expression change, but she couldn’t quite peg what she was feeling.

“No. The scholarship isn’t going to happen.” Emily shook her head.

“Oh? Did you get caught juicing?”

Emily laughed, but it was half-hearted.

“No. Steroids aren’t my jam.” She wiped some water away from her face. “It fell through. It’s complicated. But it really boils down to the fact that the scouts who were interested had a non-negotiable rule about me finishing up my senior year in San Antonio. And we had to move.”

“Does it make me selfish if I say I’m glad you’re here?”

“Yes.” Emily laughed. “Incredibly selfish.”

“Hmm, well, a leopard can’t change its spots, I guess.” Alison lifted her feet up out of the water and straightened her legs. She wiggled her perfectly pedicured toes. Emily couldn’t get over what a flashy little fancy-pants she was. Alison dipped her feet back in the water. “I’m sorry you lost your scholarship. But I am glad that we get to spend senior year together.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

“You know, I bet there are scouts in Rosewood, too.”

“Even if there are, I’m not planning to go to college right after high school.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re one of those hippie free spirits who thinks a ‘gap year’ is the journey to enlightenment?” Alison gripped the edge of the pool.

“Something like that.” Emily grinned at her.

“So…what? You’re just going to hop on your bike and backpack around the country?”

Emily’s smile slowly faded as she drifted off into thought. She had a somber look on her face. The future used to excite her. She had so many limitless possibilities. Now she had no idea what she was going to do or even what she _wanted_ to do.

All she could think about was that fortune cookie that had been on her bike.

_“Don’t bother planning for a future. You don’t have one.”_

She hadn’t told anyone about it. Because she didn’t even know what it meant. She was also used to dealing with passive-aggressive bitchiness thanks to Courtney.

Courtney had said something similar to Emily once. Every time Emily spent time with Nick Courtney gave her hell. When she found out about the biker bar she’d threatened Emily, telling her,

 _“You better watch yourself going forward. If you’re not careful you might fall and never get back up. Wouldn’t be much of a future for you,”_ she’d curled her arm through Nick’s and linked her fingers in his. She was marking her territory, and Emily and Nick both knew it.

 _“Christ, Court, leave her alone,”_ Nick had rolled his eyes.

Courtney had looked at him innocently and batted her eyes. The way she was able to turn her innocence on and off was terrifying.

 _“What? I’m just saying. Those places are dangerous. She starts hanging out with the riff-raff then who knows what will ‘come out’.”_ She’d faced Emily, fire in her eyes. The double meaning was glaringly obvious to the two of them.

Emily had kept her cool and shrugged.

 _“They’re no worse than high school bullies. And who knows? Maybe they can teach me how to get away with murder.”_ She’d given Courtney’s attitude right back to her.

 _“Damn, Fields, that got dark quick. You got some big ole lady nuts.”_ Nick had laughed.

Courtney hadn’t been laughing. Courtney was furious. But she just played it off with a fake laugh.

Emily knew that Courtney wouldn’t do anything to her. She played silly little high school games and she bullied people, but she didn’t have the guts to really hurt her. Courtney knew she would fight back. And at the time, Courtney’s parents were forcing her to be nice to Emily. Because Courtney was Emily’s best friend’s older sister.

There wasn’t much Emily missed about Texas, but she did miss her best friend.

“Em?” Alison questioned. The silence between them had gone on for too long. “Where are you?”

“Pretty sure I’m illegally swimming in the high school pool right now.” Emily smiled.

Her smile made Alison feel better, but she could tell there was something on her mind. She laughed softly.

“No, I meant…where did you go just then? What were you thinking about?” Alison asked.

“Nothing important.” Emily pulled herself out of the pool.

She splashed Alison. The string of giggles that came out of Alison’s mouth sounded more like a five-year-old laughing than a teenager.

Emily reached for a towel. She dried her hands and arms off.

“You’re a mess.” Alison brushed her damp shirt. If anyone else had splashed her she would have ripped them a new asshole. The only person who could get away with it was her punk with purple hair.

“So are you.” Emily reached up and tucked some of Alison’s hair behind her ear. She used her thumb to wipe away a droplet of water that was on her jaw.

Alison felt like her throat was closing up. Emily was touching her. Emily was touching her face. Emily Fields was touching her face and looking at her with lust in her eyes.

Or was she imagining the lust?

Alison’s heart was thumping wildly in her chest. She’d never felt anything like it before. All she could think about was what Emily had told her at the wishing well.

_“I like you, too.”_

Alison opened her mouth to say something, but it felt dry. She wasn’t sure whether she should flirt or panic. Emily was warm and perfect and everything Alison didn’t deserve.

Alison didn’t remember giving her hand permission to move, but it did…all on its own. And it landed against Emily’s wrist near her face. She held Emily’s hand in place. They smiled at one another.

The moment came to an abrupt halt when they heard the sound of a slamming door echoing in the air and the sound of voices and approaching footsteps.

Emily wiped her face and then stood up and wrapped herself up in her towel. She helped Alison to her feet. They grabbed their things.

Noel, the horndog from the gym, walked into the pool area. He was with two other guys. They were all in swim trunks. They were laughing and shoving one another. Noel was the first one to see the girls.

“Ladies,” he said with a wink.

One of the other guys looked at Emily and whistled. Alison shot him the dirtiest look that Emily had ever seen. The guy was definitely going to get itching powder in his jock-strap at some point.

“Keep it in your pants, Coogan.” Noel jabbed him in the nuts with his fist. He looked at Alison. “DiLaurentis.” He faced Emily and stretched his arm out, offering her his hand. “Noel Kahn. And you are?”

“Leaving.” Emily ignored his hand. “Pool is all yours.”

“What’s the rush? There’s plenty of room for all of us. We could play a little chicken…a little Marco Polo. Maybe do a little skinny dipping…”

“Don’t you have practice?” Alison was annoyed at his presence. “Or did you lose your balls?”

“Retract the claws, DiLaurentis. I have just as much of a right to be here as you do. Wilden changed the schedule. He’s working on some schematics. Practice isn’t until tomorrow. We were just looking for a way to kill some time.” He looked at Emily again. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Of course Noel wouldn’t remember hitting on her at the gym. He was a typical sleazeball. He glanced at the streaks in Emily’s hair and it dawned on him. He snapped his fingers like he’d just had the greatest idea in the world.

“You’re the girl from the gym.” He had a crooked smile on his face. “Yeah, I remember you. That offer to spot me is still yours if you want it.”

His buddies ‘oohed’ in approval.

“I would rather stick my hand in a blender,” Emily said through a forced smile.

Alison smirked proudly. Her girl was quick witted and didn’t back down from a fight. It was incredibly hot.

“Meow.” Noel lifted his brows.

Alison felt like she was going to explode. Emily wasn’t _his_ to objectify or hit on.

“Oh my God, get a clue, Noel.” Alison growled.

“How about this for a clue? You and me in the janitor’s closet with my nightstick.” Noel licked his lips greedily.

“Try it, dipshit. I’ll bruise your Professor Plums.” Alison threatened.

One of the guys punched him in the shoulder with a loud laugh. Emily clutched her towel in a fist. She was ready to throwdown.

“My girl has got jokes.” Noel laughed it off.

“Call me your girl again. I fucking dare you.” Her tone was teeming with hatred.

“You know you love it.” Noel ran his fingers through his hair, a cocky look on his face.

“Come on.” Alison grabbed Emily’s hand and tugged on it. “Ignore him. He’s a Neanderthal.”

“Hey, it was good enough for you last year, babe.” Noel shrugged as he walked past them.

Emily gripped her hand into a fist so hard that her knuckles popped. Her emotions had been hair-trigger lately. Things that she’d normally let roll off of her back were making her feel an unquenchable rage. She wanted to punch him in the back of the head, but instead she started walking towards the exit, pulling Alison along with her.

Emily was oddly silent when they got into the locker room. She grabbed her bag and went into a stall to change back into her clothes. She emerged in her clothing. Her wet hair was in a neat ponytail.

“So…you and Noel?” Emily asked, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“It wasn’t anything serious. He was just a way to scratch an itch.”

Emily couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what she might end up being to Alison. The blonde didn’t seem like she was the type to settle. It was clear she had baggage. But Emily had baggage, too. And she didn’t want to stop something before it even started.

“You ready to go?” Emily leaned down to tie her combat boots.

Alison stared at her. She hadn’t said a word about Noel, but her body language had completely changed after they left the pool area.

“Are you…mad about Noel?”

Not mad. _Jealous_. And a little bit irritated at Noel for acting like a buffoon and drooling over Alison. She shuddered to think what he must have been like when they were actually together.

Emily stood up, a cool expression on her face.

“No. Just can’t imagine what you saw in him.”

“Money.” Alison shrugged.

“But you _have_ money.”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun when someone else is spending theirs on you. I liked his car, too.”

“Did you like _him_?”

“No, not really.”

“So…money and fast cars. Hate to disappoint you, but I don’t have an abundance of either of those,” Emily said.

“And that’s fine with me. Because I actually _like_ you. Now, take me out to your motorcycle and let me ride on the back like a bitch, because I know you think I am one.”

Emily laughed so loud that it echoed throughout the entire room. She had to remind herself that Alison wasn’t perfect. She was far from it. And that’s part of the reason Emily was so attracted to her. Because she wasn’t perfect either.

She liked being near Alison. She liked her candor, despite how cold she could be. She liked watching her fumble like a meek little princess as she tried to climb on her motorcycle. She liked feeling Alison’s arms around her waist as she sped through the streets of Rosewood. Alison was different with her.

Alison wasn’t shy about pressing her body against Emily’s back this time. Emily could tell that she didn’t want to let go, even after she parked in Alison’s driveway.

They both pulled their helmets off and Emily helped her off of the bike. Alison turned to look at her. Emily’s hair was still damp and messy, but that somehow made her even sexier.

“Why don’t you come in and hang out for a while? We could work on our Econ assignment. My parents aren’t home yet, so it will be quiet.”

“Alison DiLaurentis, are you trying to seduce me?” Emily feigned being an innocent young debutante.

“Depends. Is it working?”

Emily smiled. She could think of nothing less she’d rather do than Econ, but nothing more she’d rather do than spend time with Alison.

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Emily grabbed her things.

Alison tried to maintain her cool as she walked Emily inside and gave her a tour of her place. It was twice the size of Emily’s house, which was funny considering they were on the same block. But every house on the street was a different size. It’s what made the city so unique.

They settled in the living room, which was triple the size of Emily’s living room. It was fully furnished with pristine décor.

There was a grand piano near the large towering windows that overlooked the street when the curtains were open.

Everything was in such picture perfect order that Emily was afraid to touch anything or sit on anything because she was afraid she’d get dirt or grease from her bike on something. Alison didn’t seem nearly as concerned. She plopped down on the sofa and invited Emily to sit next to her.

Alison surprised Emily when she actually grabbed her bag and pulled her Econ textbook out. They worked on the assignment that Wilden had given in class. Alison bitched about him for a few minutes. Emily hated that he was taking his anger out on Alison. He seemed like a real piece of work.

Emily didn’t make it a practice to hate others. It was too much work and took too much energy. She either liked someone enough to spend time with them or she didn’t care about them at all. But something about Wilden rubbed her the wrong way.

She didn’t have much love for Noel either. She didn’t like anyone who treated Alison poorly, which was ironic considering the way Alison had behaved before Emily had come back to town.

But Noel and Wilden were over the top and out of line. The boys in the town seemed to have it out for Alison. Then again, so did half of the student body.

“You get to number seven yet?” Alison tapped her pen against the book. “What should Congress do to help the economy recover from an economic recession?”

“They could stop using money to wipe their asses for starters. Hundreds of years of modernized government and we still don’t have a solution for that.” Emily shook her head. “Our civilization is doomed.”

“ _So_ doomed.” Alison closed her book. She tossed her pen down and leaned back on the couch. She rolled her pen around in her hand. “Hey, did Wilden say anything to you after class?”

“He just growled the typical alpha male dog noises to show his superiority.” Emily looked up at her. “Why?”

“He didn’t threaten you or anything, did he?” Alison slowly looked over at her.

“No.” Emily’s eyes widened. “Does he threaten you?” There was a dangerous edge in her voice.

Alison shook her head, but she refused to maintain eye contact. All Emily could think about was how uncomfortable Alison seemed to be around him. She knew that Alison had a history with him, but she had no idea what that history entailed. When Emily had first gotten back to town Alison had told her that her brother’s friends were jerks, and Wilden had been Jason’s friend.

“Ali…” Emily tried to get Alison to look at her.

“I’ve heard horror stories about him. And I don’t want you to be on his radar.” She nervously ran her fingertips through her hair.

Emily scooted closer to her and put her hand against Alison’s thigh. Alison couldn’t ignore her touch. She met Emily’s gaze.

“What did he do to you?” Emily could feel a boiling rage slowly overtaking her.

Alison seemed surprised by the question. She sat up abruptly and balked at it.

“I already told you. He’s an asshole. And I want you to stay away from him. I used to mouth off to him when he hung out with Jason. Then last year in class we had it out several times.”

“If he’s still messing with you…”

“He’s not.” Alison cut her short. Emily didn’t like how quickly she’d cut her off. “He’s just giving me shit because I ended up in his class again.”

“It’s not too late to transfer out,” Emily said.

“Seeing you every day is worth it.” Alison smiled. “Plus, here we are…” She leaned forward towards her book again. “Doing homework together.” She made a face. “God, this is the most boring subject ever.”

Emily glanced at the book. She could tell that Alison was done talking about Wilden.

“It really is. It’s a snapshot of how we’ve failed as a society, and how we _keep_ failing.”

“Who knew that Econ was the most depressing thing we’d learn in high school?” Alison pursed her lips together in thought. “And I don’t say that lightly, because I know we have Shakespeare coming up in English.”

“Well, that depends on if we’re getting the dark ages of Shakespeare or the impish whimsical tales of Puck the fairy being the fun delightful chaotic evil that he is.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about _A Midsummer Night’s Dream._ ” Alison glanced over at the piano. “One of the first pieces I learned was a composition of the underscore for that play.”

Emily stood up and walked over to observe the instrument. Alison watched her move across the room. She slowly got up to follow her.

“It was my grandmother’s.” Alison walked up next to Emily.

“You still play?” Emily slid her fingers across the shiny smooth surface of the piano.

Alison didn’t answer. Instead she smiled at her with a mischievous look on her face and sat down on the bench in front of the keys. She glanced up at Emily, her eyes inviting her to sit next to her.

Emily moved on to the bench and slid over until their thighs were touching.

Alison stretched her fingers and then opened the sheet music in front of her before putting her fingertips against the keys.

Her hands glided across the keys as she struck the first notes. The sound of music filled the air. It was effortless.

Emily watched Alison completely transform as her long slender fingers hit the keys. Her motions were precise and calculated. It was an extension of her personality, but there was no darkness in her actions.

The music seemed to encompass the entire house with a live electric energy. Emily watched her. Alison didn’t look at the sheet music once. She knew the dance by heart. It was enthralling.

And it was hot as hell.

When Alison finished she turned towards Emily, her regular cocky smile on her face. They moved closer together, their bodies subconsciously drawn to one another.

Emily put her fingers up against the keys and played a few notes, moving her hand down towards where Alison’s fingers were resting against the keys. Alison tentatively moved her fingers to meet Emily’s. They both stopped when their pinkies brushed together. Alison curled her pinky over the top of Emily’s.

Their faces moved closer as the energy of the music still lingered in the air. Alison could hear a song in her heart as she tilted her head and inched closer to Emily. She was so close. It felt so right.

Emily reached up and tucked a strand of Alison’s hair behind her ear. When she touched her cheek Alison felt her breath hitch in her throat. Emily’s eyes darted towards her lips, but then she looked into Alison’s eyes again and smiled. She kept her hand up by Alison’s face, her warm palm exuding heat against her cheek.

“You keep surprising me, Alison DiLaurentis.”

Alison wanted to kiss her so badly. But was it too soon? Was it desperate? Was Emily just testing her? Did she feel the same? Why did she feel this strongly about someone she barely even knew?

It certainly wasn’t fate. She thought fate was stupid. She’d never believed in “meant to be”. She believed in a world where people were changed by their circumstances and they created their _own_ “meant to be”. Cosmic reasons were a joke. The idea of falling in love at first sight was preposterous.

Yet, here she was…sitting in front of someone she couldn’t imagine living without. She’d never felt that before. Not even with her family. She loved them. She tolerated them. But at the end of the day, she knew she could live without them if she really wanted to.

Emily’s phone buzzed from inside her bag. She dropped her hand and both girls turned towards the noise. Alison cursed the noise. She wanted to annihilate the noise for interrupting them.

“That’s my alarm,” Emily said.

“What, are you going to turn into a pumpkin or something?”

Emily laughed. She slid off of the bench and walked towards the couch to gather her things.

“I’ve got to go. I’ve got some things I’ve got to do in town.”

Alison sauntered after her. She helped her gather her things, though she felt like locking every door and making her stay.

She walked Emily out to her bike.

“I had a good time hanging.” Emily grabbed her helmet and put it on. She climbed on her bike.

“Me too.”

Alison wanted to ask her if she needed help finding her way around town, but she didn’t want to sound clingy. So she did the next best thing. She asked her out.

“Hey, what are you doing Friday?” Alison asked. “There is this annual back to school bash happening. I was thinking about blowing it off, but do you want to check it out?”

“Can’t. I’ve got a date.”

Alison’s face went rigid. She mashed her lips together and furrowed her brows. Emily saw the look on Alison’s face. It amused her.

“Platonic.” Emily added. “It’s a whole thing. Inside joke. It’s with an old friend.”

“Oh.” Alison still didn’t sound happy. She didn’t like anyone who kept Emily away from her. “Who?”

“Toby Cavanaugh.”

“Ah.” She cringed. “Yet someone else who is probably telling you horror stories about me.”

“You wrote those horror stories, Ali.” Emily reminded her.

“I know,” Alison said. “I’m in the middle of a major rewrite though.”

She was determined to prove to everyone in Rosewood that she could change for the better. She wanted to write the best damn redemption arc in the history of literature. Or she would fake it. Whichever was easier.

“Can’t wait to read it.” Emily kicked her bike kickstand back.

She pulled out of Alison’s driveway and on to the street. She rode towards town.

When she got closer to the city she pulled off to the side of the road. She needed the GPS on her phone to help her find the right turn.

When she pulled her phone out she remembered that Alison wasn’t the only one rewriting her story. Emily’s past was still there in the form of the phrase _“one new message.”_

Despite her instincts telling her not to, she opened the text.

**_Starting to think you got eaten by a moose. Do they have moose up north? I dunno. Still miss you. Call me. I really need to talk to you._ **

It was getting harder and harder to ignore the messages. Sooner or later her past was going to catch up to her. Because she knew that this wasn’t a story she could rewrite.


	4. Bad Girls

**A/N:** _Hope everyone is keeping somewhat sane in this insanity. This one is another lengthy chapter. Enjoy._

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

**Bad Girls**

Emily and Alison made their lunchtime routine and study dates a regular thing the rest of the week. Alison’s parents were rarely ever home and her brother was only there sporadically, so they spent a fair amount of time there.

They were inseparable in school. After school Alison liked to hang out with her, whether it was when she was swimming or when she was working out at the gym. She enjoyed seeing her work up a sweat. The healthy glow of perspiration made her look otherworldly.

Sometimes they would go out to Alison’s spot at the wishing well and they would sit around on a picnic blanket and talk. Emily liked to listen to Alison talk. She liked watching the blonde open herself up in a way that she refused to do around others.

Alison carried herself a little differently at school. She was overly-confident and bossy, but when she was around Emily she was softer…kinder.

When they were in class they would sneak each other looks every now and then and text occasionally.

They were careful in Wilden’s class. He had it out for both of them. He was always nice with others around, but Emily had seen the real Wilden. Emily and Alison had nicknamed him Coach Dildo-en, because he was a fake dick.

Emily had been extra vigilant around him now that she knew he made Alison uncomfortable.

The things he said and the way he said them reminded her of a heavy power dynamic in abusive relationships. He was condescending and controlling. It was a terrible combination. He was also one of those guys whose looks lingered a little too long on girls. For some teachers, it was just due diligence to keep an eye on all of their students. But Wilden didn’t have that vibe.

Alison and Emily were trying to be incognito using their phones in his class. Alison had a purple bottle that had a smoothie in it strategically placed in front of her phone. Emily had her book slightly elevated with her phone lying flat against the pages. She was pretending to follow along. Wilden was watching her closely, and Alison saw him staring. Emily was in the middle of sending Alison the message,

**_God, will this ever end?_ **

when she got an alert from Alison,

**_Dildo-en Alert!_ **

Emily raised her hand and asked a generic question about the lesson to seem interested. Wilden settled back in his seat and started reciting something off of a pre-written answer sheet. He usually only did the bare minimum standard for teaching.

Emily’s question did the trick. It threw him off of her scent. When he wasn’t looking Emily sent a reply to the blonde.

**_That was a close call. Thanks._ **

**_No problem. I’ve got your back._ **

**_Yeah, because you’re sitting behind me._ **

**_I’m not complaining about the view._ **

Emily smiled and glanced over her shoulder. Alison was trouble, but she didn’t care. She was a bit of trouble, too.

Emily’s phone flashed and she saw another message from Alison.

**_Wanna hang out at my place after school?_ **

**_Can’t. I’m going to work out at the gym. Then Toby and I are going on a ride to check out some of the fall foliage._ **

**_Who even says foliage? Who are you?_ **

Alison ended the message with an emoji sticking its tongue out and winking. Emily sent an identical emoji back, replying,

**_It’s called being cultured. Try it sometime._ **

She heard Alison snort from behind her. She didn’t dare turn around. She didn’t want to get caught.

Alison quickly wrote back,

**_Okay, Queen Foliage. I didn’t realize you were such a tree elitist. Go hug your redwoods and pine trees and then we can hang out afterwards._ **

**_We don’t have redwoods here…_ **

**_OMG, that was a joke._ **

**_Toby and I are planning on dinner, too. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do._ **

Alison scowled. She hated that Emily was choosing Toby over her.

**_Boo. Come play with me instead. I’m more fun._ **

**_We’ll hang out another time._ **

The bell interrupted their conversation. They slipped their phones in with their belongings and rushed towards the door with the other students. Wilden stepped in front of Alison and put his hand up, gesturing for her to stop.

“I need to speak to you,” he said with a frown.

“Sorry, full calendar. You’ll have to check with my assistant for the next available appointment.”

“Hi. I’m the assistant.” Emily stepped in front of Alison protectively.

“Cute.” He wasn’t impressed. “We need to have a discussion about Wednesday’s quiz.”

That had been such a dick move…to have a quiz on the third day of school. It’s not like they knew anything after three hours of a class on something that none of them were interested in.

“You’re free to go.” He waved Emily away.

She didn’t move. She stood next to Alison, a defiant look on her face. She wasn’t leaving Alison. Not with him.

“I think I’ll stay.”

“Fine. This will probably apply to you as well, seeing as how you two have a little posse here.” He grabbed a stack of papers from his desk. “Care to explain how you got the exact same answers as Prudence Finn on this quiz?”

“Um…because the quiz asked us all the same questions?” _Duh_.

“Alison, I won’t tolerate cheating in my class.”

“I didn’t cheat.”

“We studied for that quiz together. She knew the material.” Emily came to her defense.

“If you studied for the quiz together your answers would have been the same. They weren’t.” He grabbed a slip of paper off his desk and scribbled something on a notepad. “I was hoping that you’d take things a little more seriously this year.” He handed the paper to Alison.

“Detention? For _what_? I didn’t even do anything wrong.”

“Maybe not yet. But you will.”

Hearing the way he spoke to her was making Emily fume. She wanted to punch him. But it was the first week of school. If she got in trouble the first week of school her parents would be livid. She was already on thin ice with them.

Alison didn’t have thin ice stopping her. She blew up at him, telling him how unfair he was being. Then she insulted him for good measure.

“You do realize that _you_ will have to cover detention, right? Don’t you have a bunch of pea-brained monkeyboys to herd in the pasture?”

Emily wanted to slap her hand over Alison’s mouth. The blonde didn’t know when to quit. Fortunately, Wilden was done with her.

“I’ll see you this afternoon.” He flippantly dismissed Alison.

Emily had a moment of internal panic when she thought about Alison sitting all alone in detention with him.

“This is total bullshit.” Emily threw her backpack down against a desk. She was ready to give the best rant of the year.

“Watch your language.” He snapped.

“You can’t treat people like this. You can’t treat your _students_ like this.” Emily moved towards Wilden’s desk. She grabbed a stack of papers on his desk and threw it into the trash. “Now all of our answers are equivalent to your teaching. _Garbage_.”

Alison huffed out a laugh. Wilden looked like he was ready to explode.

“You want detention, too?” He threatened.

_Yes, you dumbass._

“Doesn’t matter. You’re still trash.”

Alison’s jaw dropped. She’d never heard anyone talk to a teacher to their face the way Emily was talking to Wilden. It was one of the sexiest things she’d ever seen. She’d seen kids smart off to adults before, but none of them had ever been as adamant and firm as Emily.

“I told you hanging out with this one…” He gestured to Alison, “…was a bad idea. You need an attitude adjustment. And a fix for that ridiculous hair.” He grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a detention note on it and shoved it aggressively at Emily.

Emily gladly took the detention slip and grabbed her things. She motioned for Alison to follow her. They walked out into the hallway.

“I have _never_ seen anyone do anything like that.” Alison grabbed Emily’s arm and squeezed it with a laugh.

“Respect is a big theme in Texas,” Emily said, shoving the detention slip in her pocket. “And it extends both ways. Someone disrespects you, you have a right to stand up for yourself.”

“Why would you do that for me?” No one had ever stood up for her. Not even her own brother.

“You wanted to spend time together.” Emily shrugged.

“Yeah, but that shit goes on your record.”

“I’m not worried about that. I already told you, college isn’t the plan right now anyway. Besides, most colleges don’t look at your high school discipline record. All they care about is if you’ve got the grades and enough money.”

“What about your plans with Toby?”

“So I’ll be a little late.”

“Sorry you got wrapped up in this. Wilden is the _worst_.”

“You know, I get the locker room talk and the boys club angle, but he seems super aggressive even for a coach.” Emily glanced at the clock as they rushed down the hallway to try and make it to their next classes.

“He flunked out of the police academy and this was the best he could do for a job. He likes to make his students feel like criminals. He’s really twisted.”

Emily looked over and saw an uncomfortable look on Alison’s face.

“Someone should report him,” Emily said.

“Some kids have tried. Nothing sticks. As long as he keeps winning trophies they don’t care.”

“Maybe one day something will stick. Maybe we could catch him on a tirade. We could post it all over the internet until it blows up in his face.” Emily smiled hopefully.

They had to say a quick goodbye as they parted ways for their next class. Emily sent a text to Toby to let him know she was going to be late coming to the gym. He immediately replied,

**_No prob. See you whenever you get there._ **

She put her phone up and rushed into the classroom before the tardy bell could get her into more trouble.

She kept her phone somewhat visible so she could see the screen flashing in case Alison decided to message her. They often sent each other little anecdotes to get through the day. Halfway through her class she got a text from Alison.

**_Can’t wait for our date. :)_ **

Alison had attached an image of her detention slip. Emily almost burst into laughter. She made sure her teacher wasn’t looking and then quickly typed her response.

**_Aww, you got us a reservation and everything._ **

At lunch they chattered on about what had happened in Econ. Mona and Hanna were more interested in the new Vera Wang collection that had been dropped that morning. Mike and Caleb were having a heated debate about fantasy sports teams. Alison and Emily were in their own little world.

In English they couldn’t stop looking at each other and making faces. It became a game of who could make the other laugh first. Emily won when she crossed her eyes and mashed her lips together into a thin line. It looked like someone who was about to go out of their mind. Alison giggled and then slapped her hand over her mouth so they wouldn’t get in trouble.

They didn’t have nearly as much fun in detention. Fortunately, they weren’t completely alone. Wilden had snagged a few other students from different periods. There were two other girls, who looked equally as defiant as she and Alison did. And there was a boy who seemed indifferent to the whole experience. He pulled his hoodie up around his face and kicked back in his desk chair, resting his feet on the bottom rack of the desk in front of him.

Wilden wasn’t in the classroom yet, so everyone was hanging out and chatting. Emily was sitting directly in front of Alison. Alison leaned over her shoulder pressed her cheek against Emily’s. She held her phone out in front of both of them.

“Say _Detention_.” Alison aimed the camera towards their faces.

Emily put on her best “hardened criminal face”. Alison did the same. Alison snapped the picture and sat back in her chair.

“This one is for the grandkids.” Alison beamed. “Because they’re never going to believe Butch and Sundance did hard time.”

“Butch and Sundance?” Emily peered at her with an amused smile on her face. “Was that a gay joke? Cuz you’re definitely no Sundance, but I wouldn’t call you Butch either.”

“You’re so lame.” Alison rolled her eyes with a laugh. “What’s your Insta? I’ll tag you.”

“Like you haven’t already been stalking my page?” Emily asked.

“You wish.” Alison scoffed.

“Not without a quarter and a wishing well.” Emily grinned at her. “Go ahead, princess. Appease our adoring public.”

Alison pressed her lips together in a tight line and made a face at her, as smartasses tended to do. She uploaded the photo and tagged Emily. A few seconds later Emily got a notification on her phone. She smiled when she saw Alison’s follow request. She accepted it and followed her back. She looked at the fresh photo she’d just posted and laughed at the caption.

_“My cell mate for the afternoon.”  
#CapitalPunishment  
#RosewoodEdition  
#AnarchyBaby  
#SeniorYear_

Alison felt her heart flutter in her chest when she saw the little heart notification from Emily pop up in her alerts. She started scrolling her page, hoping to get a better glimpse into her mind. A lot of her pictures were of nature. She didn’t have any selfies, which was disappointing, but there were a few pictures of her at her swim meets back in Texas. Some had her teammates. Some had photos of the crowds at the meets. Some were just of her in deep concentration right before she took a dive. She also had a bunch of pictures of her bike, all through various stages of repairs.

“Looking for my deep dark secrets?” Emily poked her arm with a laugh.

“I feel cheated. There are no half-naked pictures of you.” Alison pouted.

“I’m not a fan of being in pictures.”

“Only someone as gorgeous as you would completely hide from the camera.” Alison rolled her eyes.

Wilden walked in with a serious expression on his face. He looked every bit like a controlling warden. Alison and Emily quickly put their phones away.

“See you on the other side.” Emily winked and then spun around in her chair.

Detention wasn’t as painful as they thought it was going to be. After half an hour he let them go, but only after he’d lectured them about proper behavior in school. Alison rolled her eyes so hard that Emily thought they were going to disappear into the back of her head.

They walked out together. The other two girls were muttering about how weird Wilden was.

“Thanks again for toughing that out with me.” Alison purposefully brushed up against Emily’s arm as they walked away from their jail cell of a classroom.

“Any time.” Emily shifted her backpack against her back. “I’m going to head to the gym. But I’ll text you later, okay?”

Alison tried to downplay how bothered she was that Emily was spending time with someone else. She knew it wasn’t rational to want to be with her all the time, but she felt overly-possessive of her.

She waved as Emily jogged out the double doors. She was smiling, but inside she was silently steaming. She didn’t like the idea of sharing Emily with Toby, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

She knew she didn’t want to spend her Friday evening at home, but she couldn’t hang out with Cindy and Mindy because they were icing her out for sitting at the “loser” table. And she didn’t really want to hang out with Hanna and Mona. It was enough that she had to sit with them at lunch.

She grabbed her phone and sent a text to her brother’s college friend. She didn’t really like her brother’s friends. But hanging out in their frat house was better than sitting at home.

**_What time does the party start?_ **

* * *

Emily’s time in detention had eaten up a lot of her workout time, but she didn’t mind. Alison had needed a friend. She’d been happy to be there for her. She also had a lot of repressed emotions she was dealing with, so snapping at someone who deserved to be snapped at had been therapeutic.

She spent half an hour working on her form in shadowboxing. She felt a little out of shape because back in Texas she hadn’t been able to exercise as much as she liked. She’d put on a few extra pounds. It was nothing earth-shattering, but she could feel it in the way she got tired easier than she’d used to. She took a few jabs at the heavy bag and talked to Jake, who ran the classes. He was mostly doing intermediate work with beginners, which she’d already surpassed. He let her work out on her own while he ran his class.

She had extra fuel to motivate her when she saw another message from her online bully. There was an image attached to the text. It was a screenshot of the picture Alison had tagged her in at school. The message was snide and bitchy.

**_Found a new piece of ass already? I guess it’s easy when YOU’RE easy. Bet she wouldn’t be so in to you if she knew what I know._ **

Emily deleted the message and threw her phone in her bag. The messages were starting to get to her. It’s exactly the thing she’d been trying to avoid by leaving Texas.

She started hitting the heavy bag a lot harder. After her workout, she cleaned up. She took a quick shower and then headed towards the front desk, where Toby was hanging out. She ran into Noel on her way to meet him.

Noel hit her with a normal pick-up line. His annoying come-on for the day was, “Wanna spot me? Cuz I sure spotted you...”

Fortunately, Toby swooped in and ran interference. As they were walking away Toby apologized for him.

“I’m sorry for him…for my entire gender, really. We’re really fucking dumb sometimes.”

“It’s okay. It was a fitting end to a day of macho masculinity for me. Got into it with this teacher who was trying to flaunt his superiority with some useless pissing contest.”

“Which teacher?” Toby questioned curiously.

“Wilden.”

“Oh, that guy is a total nutjob.” He made a face. “Be careful with him. There was a rumor a few years ago that he was propositioning students for things in order for them to get better grades.”

Emily felt her throat burning as bile crept up her esophagus.

“Seriously?”

She stopped walking. She grimaced when she thought of how uncomfortable Alison seemed around him. And she thought about the argument she’d overheard the first day of school. And the way he’d honed in on her to give her attention. She felt the sudden urge to walk back into the kickboxing area and throw several more punches at the heavy bag and pretend that it was Wilden.

“I think it was only a rumor, but everyone hates him.”

“With good reason.”

“We can make a customized heavy bag for you if you’d like. Put Wilden’s face on it.” Toby grinned. “You can do anything you want when you start working here.”

“ _When_ I start working here?” Emily faced him with a smile.

“Yeah. Ezra wants to meet you first, but he says you can start as soon as next week if you want.”

“That’s awesome. Is he here today?”

“He worked the morning shift. He’ll be in tomorrow though.”

“Thanks for hooking me up.”

“No problem.” Toby reached behind the front counter, grabbing his motorcycle helmet. “You ready to ride?”

“More than you know.”

Emily had needed something to clear her mind. She’d been antsy since the move. She was having trouble reconciling how her future was going to end up. She had so much on her mind that she wasn’t sure how to get peace and clarity anymore. And the messages from the mystery number were not helping.

She felt okay when she was hanging out with Alison or when she was at school with her friends. She was even gaining some traction with her workouts and her swim sessions. But if she didn’t keep her mind occupied all she could think about was Texas.

Riding with Toby brought her a sense of serenity. She felt like they were eight years old again, racing down the street in their neighborhood. She felt her fingers tightening around the throttle. As she gave the bike a little more speed she could remember the feeling of her hands tight against her bicycle’s handlebars…the wind gusting around her. Her clothes flapping in the breeze. The complete feeling of freedom as she went down a hill. It felt like a rollercoaster she could control.

They slowed their pace as they rode through the areas with tree coverage. A few leaves were floating through the air. It was so strange how different things were now. But something that hadn’t changed was the scenery…the way the leaves ignited the world around them.

The ride settled Emily’s mind. And when they went back to town to grab a bite to eat she felt more relaxed than she’d felt in a long time. They ordered their food and talked about what they’d been up to the past several years.

Toby had lost his mother, and it had driven a wedge between him and his father. He’d gotten the job at the gym when he was fifteen so he could get out of the house. He’d been there for three years, working his way up from the front desk to assistant manager.

Emily told Toby about her time in Texas, though she left a huge chunk of it out.

They had gotten more than halfway through their dinner before Toby brought up the one thing he’d been trying to gather the courage to ask her about.

Rosewood was a small town. The LGBTQ population wasn’t huge. Or at least, not many people were out. He’d met a few gay guys at the gym. And he knew that Alison was bi. There were also a few girls at school he suspected were gay, but he didn’t know them well. There was a trans girl that had graduated the previous year and was at a local university. But it was still a foreign concept to him to know that his childhood best friend was into chicks. He didn’t know how to bring it up. He didn’t want to offend her.

“So…” Toby fidgeted with his fork. “Girls, huh?”

“Girls.” Emily nodded, taking a sip of her water.

“How did you…um…” He played with his food, “…come out?”

“With a big rainbow cake and a line of go-go dancers singing ‘I’m coming out’ from behind me.”

“Really?”

“No.” Emily laughed. “I just told people like a normal person.”

“Were people cool about it?” he asked tentatively. “Because if they weren’t cool, drop a location. I’ll take care of them.”

“That’s sweet, but I know how to throw a punch.” Emily put her water down. “No, it was…” She drifted off in thought, “Not everyone knows. People knew in California. But not many people knew in Texas…except a few girls I was in to. I think it surprised some people, but no one was a bitch about it.” She leaned back in her chair and frowned. “Except my mom.” She chewed on her lip. “I just came out to my parents a few months ago.”

It had happened so fast. Emily didn’t really have a choice in the matter. She’d basically been forced to come out. And that hadn’t been the only secret she’d spilled that day. Everything had just poured out of her.

“My mom has this idea in her head that it’s just a phase. I don’t think it’s ever going to be real for her. My dad said something to me about how she would come around…that she was just afraid for me, because it’s harder for ‘people like me’.” She threw up air quotes.

She hated being generalized, and being generalized by her mother hurt.

“She says that parents just want an easy life for their kids and that when we ‘choose’ to be seen as different we’re putting targets on our backs, and that scares her.” She tried not to get choked up. “She’s been so different around me since she found out. She told me that she wasn’t okay with it. That she didn’t believe in it.”

It had hurt Emily tremendously. It had been one of the reasons she’d been terrified to come out. Her mother’s reaction, while not unexpected, had made Emily feel like there was something wrong with her. It made her feel unloved and unwanted.

Toby could see the pain in her eyes. He reached out and gripped her arm.

“That’s really shitty, Em. I’m sorry.” He squeezed her forearm and then let go.

“She’s my mom. I love her. But sometimes I don’t like her very much.”

“Has your dad been supportive?”

“Mostly.”

“That whole thing about needing to find a place to live…they’re not throwing you out, are they?” He looked angry at the thought of it. He’d heard stories about things like that before: parents who stopped loving their kids and abandoned them because of their sexuality. “Because if you need a place to stay…”

“No. No, that’s not it at all. It has nothing to do with me being gay.” She leaned forward again, putting her elbows against the table. She looked at the mostly empty plate in front of her. “We moved back here because all of us felt like we needed a fresh start. My dad asked for a transfer, and a guy in the transfer department owed him a favor. We got to pick where we were relocated.”

“So…why Rosewood?”

“I don’t know.” Emily admitted. “Maybe because I grew up here. My parents feel like they can recapture that or something.”

“As long as you’re living their baby you’ll be.” Toby smiled with a sigh.

“Why does that sound so familiar?” It struck a chord in Emily.

“It’s from that book _Love You Forever_. My mom used to read it to me when I was a little boy.”

Hearing the title sparked a memory in Emily. She remembered the book. It was a little blue paperback. The illustration on the cover was of a wild child sitting in the bathroom flushing random items down the toilet. The book had always made her mother tear up when she was reading it.

_“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.”_

Emily smiled. She remembered the way her mother used to hug her like she never wanted to let go. She also remembered the twist ending. And it all felt very different to her now. It meant something different to her.

The trilling of her phone jolted her out of the memory. She fumbled for it, embarrassed that she’d forgotten to turn the ringer off. She felt like she was disturbing the entire restaurant. When she went to silence it she saw Alison’s name on the screen.

It was strange to be getting a call from her. They usually just texted. She looked at Toby.

“Do you mind?” She questioned. He shook his head. “Hey, you,” she answered.

“Emily! You answered!” Alison huffed out a laugh. She muttered out a bunch of nonsense that Emily was having trouble understanding. She could hear a lot of crazy background noise. Loud music. People screaming over each other to talk.

“Ali? Where are you?”

“The basement. We’ve got some epic beer pong going on here. We’re about to play _two truths and a lie_. You should come!” She gasped like saying that was the most brilliant idea in the world.

“Are you drunk?”

Emily heard someone near her whispering something to her. It sounded like a guy, and it sounded like he’d said, _“brought you another drink, baby”_.

“Seriously, where are you?” Emily didn’t like what she was hearing.

“Sigma Nu is having a back to school bash. SIGMA NUUUUU!” She yelled, getting several echoing sentiments.

“A frat house?” A college party. Alison was drunk out of her mind at a college party. All kinds of alarm bells went off in Emily’s head.

“Mmhmm. They’re super nice here. I didn’t even ask for another drink. They just bring them to you. Isn’t that great?”

Emily heard the guy’s voice again. It sounded like an eerie whisper,

_“Who are you talking to? Hang up.”_

“Hey, listen to me. Go somewhere… _anywhere_ other than the basement. Make sure there are people around. Don’t go off with anyone alone. And don’t drink anything else. I’m coming to pick you up.”

“You’re coming to party with us?” she exclaimed in excitement.

_I’m coming to get your drunk ass before something bad happens to you…_

“Alison, go find somewhere safe. Please.”

“Ohhh, what if I meet you where everyone is dancing? I want to dance with you, Emily.” She sounded like she was pouting.

“Right. Dancing. Just…yeah, go dance. I’ll be there soon.”

Before Alison could respond, the phone call cut off. Emily shoved her phone in her pocket and looked at Toby apologetically.

“I really hate to bail…”

“No. It’s fine. It sounds like she needs you. Go ahead. I’ll take care of the check.”

“Thank you. I’ll pay you back.” Emily squeezed Toby’s arm appreciatively.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said, this one is on me.”

“You’re a gem, Toby.”

“I’m not, but I do work at one.” He winked as he waved to get the waiter’s attention.

Emily laughed at the wordplay. Toby put his napkin on top of his plate.

“You need some back up? Want me to go with you?” he asked.

“No, I got it. But thanks.”

Emily stood up and grabbed her motorcycle helmet. And it hit her…how the hell was she going to get Alison home on the back of her bike?

As she was rushing out the restaurant door she realized she was going to have to run by her house first. Fortunately, it was on the way to campus.

When she got home she parked her bike and ran inside. Her parents were sitting on the couch, curled up together watching a movie.

“Hey, how was dinner? How is Toby?” Her dad asked.

“It was good. He’s good.” Emily tossed her keys down and grabbed another set of keys sitting in the bowl on the table. “I need to borrow the car if it’s okay.”

“Why?” He asked.

“A friend of mine needs a ride, and I’m not comfortable taking my bike.”

“Which friend?”

“Alison. She’s in a bind. I promised I’d help her out.” She wasn’t leaving Alison at that party. If she had to take her bike and then strap Alison to the back of it with duct tape to get her home safely she would.

“That girl…she was always drawn to drama when she was a child.” Her mother rolled her eyes, stretching her legs out from underneath her.

“She in some kind of trouble?” Her dad picked up on Emily’s panicked tone.

“No.” Not yet. “But she might be if I don’t go get her.”

“You know, we came here so you could get solid footing and a fresh start. The last thing you need right now is to take on extra responsibility.” Her mom’s brow creased in worry.

“I know. But she’s…” She couldn’t tell her parents the truth, because they’d probably tell Alison’s parents. “She needs my help. She needs a friend. And you’re the ones who taught me to put myself out there for the people I care about.”

Her mom was about to say something, but her father put his hand against her arm and shook his head. He looked at Emily.

“Go ahead. But be back before curfew.”

“Thanks, dad.” She didn’t wait around for them to say anything else.

“Drive safe!” Her mom yelled after her.

Emily did the opposite of what her mom told her. She ran every red light and stop sign in town. She didn’t care if a cop came after her. She’d convince them to be an escort.

All she could think about was a college party she’d gone to with Maya. It had gotten out of hand. They’d gotten high and drunk and ended up in a closet getting hot and heavy.

Emily had only considered the irony _after_ the fact. They’d literally been feeling each other up _in the closet_.

Their hormones had been raging. They’d already slept together, but they’d never done anything in public before, so it had added a new sensation to their high.

They had been in the midst of tearing off clothes when Emily’s buzz had started to waver. She’d crashed back into reality. She could hear the sound of the party-goers right outside the door. The beat of the bass had felt like it was inside her heart.

The drugs had turned on her, and she’d suddenly become paranoid. She was afraid they’d get caught, so she’d put a stop to it. Maya had whined and pouted, but she got over it.

When they went back to the party they had both grabbed another drink. They hadn’t realized they were in danger.

It wasn’t until Maya started slurring her words and stumbling over her feet that Emily realized something was wrong. Emily had felt weird and fuzzy. She’d barely been able to stand. Two frat guys had offered to take them somewhere quiet to sleep it off.

Maya had been amenable. Emily had felt like she was paralyzed within herself. She’d watched as the guys walked off with her girlfriend. It hadn’t taken long for her instincts to kick in. She’d raced after them and found them getting ready to lock themselves in an empty room with Maya.

Emily had been wobbly on her feet and had nearly fallen over. One of the guys assured her they weren’t going to hurt them. They were just “concerned”. But Emily could feel that something was wrong. Her gut was screaming at her. It was like a giant neon sign flashing “DANGER” in bright red letters.

_“Maya, we should go.”_

_“But I’m tired.”_ Maya had argued.

Emily had started to take a step forward, but she could barely stand.

 _“You don’t look so good, sweetie. You probably overdid it on the drinks tonight. Just relax and sleep it off.”_ One of the frat guys grasped her arm before she could fall. _“We’ll take care of you.”_

Before Emily could react she felt a pair of arms grabbing her and pulling her away from the frat boy.

 _“The hell you will.”_ One of Emily’s friends from school had put himself between the girls and the two frat guys. _“Em, Maya, you okay?”_

Emily nodded, though the room was spinning around her. The terrifying reality of the situation had fired off in her brain and her adrenaline was at an all-time high.

Nick had stepped up next to him. The boys knew exactly what was going on. They’d seen Emily rushing off in a frenzy and running up the stairs. And when they saw the way the girls were acting they knew they’d been drugged.

 _“Come on, let’s get you out of here.”_ Nick had glanced at Maya and Emily. He glared at the frat boys. Emily couldn’t read the look on his face. It looked like anger, but there was a hint of something more. Annoyance? Irritation? It looked very different than regular anger.

 _“It’s not our fault they can’t hold their liquor. We’re just giving them a place to sleep it off,”_ The frat guy next to Maya claimed.

 _“Bullshit. Get the fuck away from them.”_ Nick threatened.

At first, the frat bros had laughed and called them cute little high school plebs. That was before the punches were thrown. The two high school plebs beat the shit out of the frat bros without breaking a sweat. Then they called the cops, which was a ballsy move since it busted up the party. But they didn’t care. They didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

After they got the girls out safely, the guys took them out to a diner to sober them up. Emily didn’t remember much about that night, except that she kept her distance from Maya when the boys were around. She’d still felt awkward about being with her in public. She knew her distance hurt Maya’s feelings.

Emily blamed herself for that night because if they had just stayed in the closet together they never would have picked up the spiked drinks. But Maya had assured her that it wasn’t her fault.

That guilt had never eased though, because two days later Maya got busted with drugs. And that’s when she’d been shipped away. Emily never got to apologize for acting so weird.

If her friends hadn’t been there Emily wasn’t sure what would have happened that night. It was terrifying to think of Alison in the same position. She pressed her foot harder against the accelerator.

* * *

Emily practically peeled into the parking area of the frat house on two wheels. She leaped out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

Her heart was pumping as she ran through a crowd of drunk guys whistling and yelling at her. She flipped them the bird and pushed her way into the house. She followed the sound of the loud music until she found a large area where people were dancing and grinding on one another.

She looked around, trying not to panic. She was afraid something bad had happened to Alison. She pushed through the crowds looking for the blonde. She was making a beeline for the DJ so she could steal the mic and make an announcement to find her, but then she heard a voice calling her name. She spun around and saw Alison drunkenly stumbling towards her with a red plastic cup in her hand. She was wearing an outfit that was _way_ too provocative.

“Emily! You made it!” She tripped into Emily’s arms and then started laughing uncontrollably.

Two guys and two girls came running up behind Alison. All of them were just as intoxicated as Alison.

“Yay! Emily made it!” One of the girls echoed what Alison was saying. “Wait, who’s Emily?”

“The hottest girl in Rosewood.” Alison reached up and pressed the tip of her finger against Emily’s nose. “Boop.”

Emily could smell the booze on her breath. She could practically see it dripping out of her pores. She angrily faced the older kids.

“You let her get this smashed? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“It’s a party.” One of the guys took a drink of his beer.

“She’s seventeen, you dipshit.”

They all looked at one another, alarmed. But it didn’t last long. Seconds later they burst into laughter.

“She’s seventeen.” One of the guys laughed, punching his friend in the arm. He sounded like he was mocking Emily.

“How was I supposed to know?” The guy responded. He faced Emily, leaning forward. He nearly tipped over. “Rad hair.” He reached out to touch it, but Emily smacked his hand away.

“Touch me and you won’t have to wait for the alcohol to knock your ass out.” Emily puffed her chest out defensively.

“Lighten up, baby…”

“I am _not_ your baby.” Emily wrapped her arm around Alison. “Come on, Ali. We’re leaving.”

“But you just got here.” She whined. “Dance with me.”

“I’m taking you home.”

Before Alison could object, Emily started guiding her towards the door. She was so drunk that she could barely hold herself up. Emily supported her weight as they walked out to the car.

Emily was so preoccupied with helping Alison that she didn’t see the person in the baseball cap watching her from the porch. The person watched as she helped Alison into the front seat and then walked around and climbed in the driver’s seat.

If Emily had looked up before she got in the car she may have seen the familiar face. But she was too focused on Alison.

Alison was looking around the car like she’d never seen the inside of a vehicle.

“Are we stealing a car?” Alison asked in excitement.

“No. This is my parent’s car.” Emily put the keys in the ignition. “Try not to puke in it.”

She started the car and then looked over at Alison.

“Buckle up.”

Alison fell against the door and then started laughing as she fumbled with the seat belt. Emily sighed and reached over the blonde and grabbed the seat belt. She pulled the strap over her body and snapped it in place. Alison turned to face her, her cheeks flushed from all of the booze she’d been drinking. Her head fell heavily to the side, her chin slapping against her shoulder as she struggled to force her neck to hold up the weight.

“You’re not a Hell’s Angel.” Her smile was wide. Her dimples popped. “You’re an _Angel_ Angel.”

Alison passed out on the way back to their neighborhood. Emily kept stealing glances at her, making sure she was still breathing.

She pulled into Alison’s driveway. The jolt of the car bumping over the edge of the driveway woke Alison up.

Emily put the car in park. Alison sat up and stared at her house through the windshield.

“I’m not going in there.” She frowned.

“What are you talking about? It’s _your_ house.”

“Exactly. And I’m not in the mood to get a lecture from my parents. If they find out about the party they’ll be pissed. You’ll probably get in trouble, too.”

“For bringing you home?” How could doing the right thing possibly come back on her?

“They think I’ve been with you. And if I walk in there like this they’re going to know I’ve been drinking. And they’ll assume you were drinking, too.”

“You used me as an alibi so you could go get drunk at a college party?” Emily peered at her.

“Don’t be mad.” Alison giggled. She wasn’t sure why she was laughing, but she couldn’t stop.

“Do you understand what kind of danger you put yourself in?” Emily couldn’t stop thinking about the night she’d been at that party with Maya.

“No more dangerous than when you cruise around on your bike.” Alison bit back with a harsh laugh.

“When I’m riding I have _control_. I know what my surroundings are!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice, but she knew all too much about what people did to young girls at parties when alcohol and drugs were involved. “I don’t just close my eyes and ride blind. You could have been hurt.”

“I was with friends,” she muttered.

“Who? The people who didn’t even know you were underage?”

“No one asked you to ride in and play the hero.” Alison looked up at her out of the corner of her eyes.

“ _You_ did. When you called. Did you think I was just going to leave you there?”

“Maybe you should have. Maybe I’m no better than you think I am.” Alison blinked slowly. She looked so sad. It broke Emily’s heart. “I’m not a good person. I’ve done so many bad things. Maybe turnabout is fair play.”

Alison huffed out a gust of air and fell back against her seat. She laid her head against the headrest.

Her response elicited a sad sort of compassion from Emily. It helped her rein her temper in. It was a stark reminder that she came from a totally different world than Alison. She couldn’t expect the blonde to understand her life any more than she understood why Alison acted the way she acted. She knew she had to take a different approach with her. She knew that they were both strong-willed and stubborn, and that they needed to meet in the middle. She knew she was overcompensating because of what had happened to her and Maya. So she pulled back.

“That’s not how it works, Ali.” Emily looked at her, her eyes patient and kind, and so beautiful in the glow of the pale moonlight. “Just because we screw up doesn’t mean we deserve bad things to happen to us.” Emily drifted off in thought. She knew how Alison felt. She was her own worst critic. “I think…” Her brows furrowed, “I think we’re harder on ourselves because it’s easy to define our own faults. And we convince ourselves that we don’t deserve good things, so we take them away before someone else can take them away first. Because that way we still feel like we’re in control.”

Emily glanced out over the steering wheel, her eyes glazed over. Alison cocked her head with a look of intrigue on her face. She could tell that there was something on Emily’s mind. She wanted to ask her what she was thinking, but she could barely form a coherent thought. Her brain was close to 70 percent Jäger.

“But we can only control so much. We can only make so many choices. Things don’t always work out the way we plan,” Emily said.

“You determined all of this from a frat party?” Alison asked.

“You just have to trust me on this,” Emily said softly. She put her hand on top of Alison’s. Alison stared at her hand. She slowly raised her eyes up to meet Emily’s. “I’ve been to parties like that before. They rarely end well.”

Alison couldn’t tear her gaze away from Emily’s eyes. All she felt when she looked at her was pure bliss.

“You’re probably right. I’m glad you came to get me.” She smiled sweetly at the brunette. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I just thought if you came we could have a good time.”

She’d been trying to impress her, but it had backfired. Everything she did backfired. She knew she was screwing it all up. She didn’t know how to pursue someone she liked.

“Well, for future reference, I don’t drink. And I’m not big into partying.”

“What kind of rebel are you?” Alison scoffed.

“One with a cause.” Emily glanced at Alison’s house, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. “Do your parents really think we’re hanging out?”

“Not a lie anymore, is it?” Alison grinned. Her smile faded. “I told them we were having a sleepover with the old gang to welcome you back to town.”

“Oldest trick in the book.” Emily shook her head with a laugh.

“I really don’t feel like being at home tonight. Can we just…drive around or something?” Alison reached up and rubbed her temples.

Emily looked at the clock on the dashboard. She still had an hour and a half before curfew. It was enough time to get Alison somewhat sober. Where to go afterwards was the question.

Emily glanced in her rearview mirror and saw the lights on at her house. Her dad would probably stay up until she got home. She started thinking of ways to sweet talk him into letting Alison stay the night. It was doable.

Emily took Alison to _The Brew_ to get some coffee. Alison was still wobbly on her feet, but she had much better balance than when they’d left the frat house.

 _The Brew_ was fairly busy. Sabrina was putting change in the cash register. Emily looked over and saw a few people sitting around and chatting. Caleb was in a booth near the counter. He was on his break talking to Hanna and Aria.

Alison saw them and she broke out into a goofy grin. She threw her hands up and waved.

“Hanna!” Alison shouted so loudly that the entire floor of customers looked her way. “Hanna banana!”

Hanna looked at her in confusion. She waved back and then turned to talk to Caleb. Alison looked around, bathing in the warm light of the shop. She spotted the jukebox, which she’d seen a hundred times before. But it looked more exciting to her while she was buzzed.

“Ohh, I’m going to go put on some music.” She stumbled across the floor.

Emily walked towards the counter and ordered Alison a coffee. Sabrina grabbed a cup and walked off to get the beverage. Emily turned around and saw Caleb walking back towards the counter. Hanna and Aria were with him. They were all looking at Alison.

Caleb walked through the swinging door that led to behind the counter. Hanna and Aria stood next to Emily. Hanna glanced at Alison, who was smashing her fingers against the keys on the jukebox.

“Is she okay?” Aria questioned.

“She looks _wrecked_.” Caleb grabbed a rag and started wiping down the area where they kept the baked goods.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Hanna had an equal mix of annoyance and amusement on her face. “Is she drunk?”

“Beyond.”

Hanna grabbed her phone and turned the camera on.

“Hanna, please don’t.” Emily put her hand on top of Hanna’s and gently pushed her phone down so it wasn’t aimed at Alison.

“She’d do it to any one of us in a heartbeat.” Hanna argued.

“I’m not asking for her. I’m asking for me. Just do me a favor, as my friend. Please just let this one go.” Emily begged.

“Fine.” Hanna grumbled, putting her phone away. “But you owe me.”

Alison pressed a button on the jukebox and then spun around just as the beat of the drums of a familiar tune started playing over the loudspeakers. Several guys started harmonizing at once and then Emily heard,

_“Uptown girl. She’s been living in her uptown world…”_

Alison faced Emily with a smirk. Emily laughed so loud it could be heard over the music. Hanna looked at Emily like she was crazy.

“Are you drunk, too?” Hanna questioned.

“No.” Emily chuckled.

“What is this music?” She made a face. “It sounds so _old_.”

“It’s an inside joke.”

“I like Billy Joel.” Aria smiled. “Overseas there was this pub we frequented where this big Nordic dude who looked like he could crush an entire Navy fleet crooned Billy Joel songs to the patrons. It was kind of soothing.”

“That sounds amazing.” Emily pictured a big hairy dude singing love songs.

“Order up.” Sabrina walked out with Emily’s order and handed it to her.

Emily thanked her and walked over to Alison. She reached out to hand Alison her coffee. The blonde took it and put it down on the table. Then she grabbed Emily’s hand and started dancing with her. Emily couldn’t help but laugh. She knew everyone was watching them, but she didn’t care. She let Alison sway with the beat of the music. Alison casually laid her arms over the top of Emily’s shoulders and pressed her chest up against Emily’s. She felt Emily’s hands on her hips steadying her as she tried to keep up with the quick tempo of the song.

When the song came to an end Alison smiled at Emily. They slowly pulled away from each other and sat down in a booth. Alison took a sip of her coffee. She swallowed it, but made a face.

“Is this straight up black coffee?” The bitterness burned her tongue. “It tastes like ass.”

“Shut up and drink your butthole caffeine.”

Alison grabbed a jar of sweetener that was sitting on the table. She dumped a generous amount into her coffee. She managed to choke the entire cup of java down.

They stayed at _The Brew_ for a good forty-five minutes and then Emily drove them back to her house. Alison turned to face her.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night.” But she wasn’t. Not really. Because she was staring at Emily in the glow of the streetlight, and she looked beautiful.

“Don’t be. This is what friends do.”

“I wouldn’t know. Never had a friend who actually gave a crap…” she muttered.

“Come on.” Emily reached for the door handle.

Alison followed her.

“So, how are we going to do this? You go in first and then go open your window while I shimmy up the drain pipe?”

“No, we’re going to walk in through the front door and I’m going to tell my parents you need to stay over for the night.”

“Well, that’s not nearly as exciting…”

“Alison, you can barely stand on your own two feet. You really think you’re in any shape to scale the side of my house?”

“That’s a good point.” She couldn’t argue with her logic.

They walked up the stairs to the front porch. Emily reached into her pocket and pulled out her house key. She unlocked the front door and they walked in together. They could hear the low rumbling of something on the television.

“Let me do the talking.” Emily whispered as she walked forward.

Alison nodded and followed her into the foyer.

“Hey, I’m home.” Emily wasn’t surprised to see her dad sitting in his chair staring at the television. He always waited up for her.

“Everything okay with your…” He saw Alison walking up behind her, “…Alison.”

“Uh…yeah. That’s me. I’m her. Ah…uh…Alison. I’m Alison.” Alison regretted opening her mouth. “Nice to meet you. Or…see you again, I guess. It’s been a long time.” She sounded like a blithering idiot and the alcohol was not helping. “Emily came to…um…and then we…we’re here now.”

Emily shot her a glance that said, _“You’re not letting me do the talking…”_

“It’s nice to see you again, too, Alison.” Wayne smiled warmly at her.

“I was wondering if Alison could stay the night? We’ve been catching up on a lot of things. We started talking about her fifth grade birthday sleepover and we thought it might be fun to recreate it?”

Wayne didn’t reply at first. Alison felt incredibly awkward.

“I can…my house is just…right there. I’ll go home if it’s…if you’re not…” Why weren’t her words coming out right?

Emily glared at her again. _“Stop talking_. _”_

“No. It’s fine.” At this point, he’d picked up on the fact that Alison wasn’t sober. And he understood why Emily had been so frazzled earlier. “Are your parents okay with you being here?”

“Yes, sir.” _They already think I’m staying here anyway…_

“Then you’re welcome to stay.”

“Thanks, dad.” Emily motioned for Alison to follow her.

“Hey, door stays open at all times.” Her father gave her a stern look.

Emily almost laughed at his concern. Was he afraid that they were going to have wild sex when she knew her parents were in the very next room?

Emily led Alison into her bedroom. She pushed the door closed, leaving it cracked in case her father came by to check.

Alison looked around, smiling. She was in Emily’s bedroom. _At night_. It was a first for her.

The room itself was fairly basic, but Alison liked it. It was simple and chic, just like Emily.

She didn’t have many of her belongings on display, because she was still unpacking. She had her laptop on a small desk near her window. There were pamphlets for apartments strewn out on the desk.

There was a small chair over in the corner that had a pair of headphones and an iPad in it. A gym bag was hanging off of the chair by the desk. There was what looked like a vision board hanging up on one of her walls. It had photos of motorcycles, swimming pools, and several images of nature. There were a few photos of her with friends sprinkled in sporadically. Alison made a mental note to get a picture of the two of them to put on the board.

Her bed looked like the epitome of comfort. Alison spun around like she was a little girl on ice skates for the first time. She accidentally knocked over a box, spilling its contents all over the floor.

“I’m sorry.” She leaned over to try and clean up her mess, but she nearly fell over. Emily caught her before she could hit the ground. One of her palms landed against Alison’s hip.

“It’s fine. I’ll get it.” She helped Alison to her feet.

Alison didn’t want to let her go. Feeling Emily’s broad chest and warm embrace felt so right. Emily made sure Alison was steady on her feet and then she lowered her hands. She bent down and picked up several items from her childhood. A stuffed bunny. A picture of her parents bringing her home from the hospital. Her baby blanket. A tiny red dress that looked like it could fit a doll. She picked the box up and put everything back in it.

Alison watched her, not sure what else to do. It felt surreal that she was in Emily’s bedroom. She smiled again and fell back against Emily’s bed, her feet dangling over the edge.

She felt something tickling her ankles and she realized it was Emily taking off her shoes. Her fingers felt warm against her skin as she glided the high heel off of Alison’s aching foot. She pulled the other heel off, too.

“Thanks.” Alison smiled down at her.

“You want some water or something?” Emily asked.

Alison shook her head. She scooted up against Emily’s pillow. It smelled like her. She felt like burying her face in it and staying there forever.

Emily knelt next to the bed. Alison thought she was coming in for a kiss, but instead she lowered her head and started untying her combat boots. She pulled her shoes off and then stood back up.

“I can grab you a nightgown. You might be more comfortable…”

“I’m fine.” What she really wanted was Emily next to her.

Emily stood next to the bed, wavering on her feet as she tried to decide whether or not to climb in bed next to her.

Alison settled her indecisiveness by reaching out and grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the bed.

“Don’t make me lay here all by myself. It’s _your_ bed.”

Emily smiled and gently pulled her hand away from Alison. She pulled the comforter up around Alison and then slid next to her. She sat up against her headboard for a few minutes, looking down at the exhausted blonde. Then she slowly moved down until her head hit the pillow. She rolled over so that she was facing Alison.

Being so close to the brunette made Alison feel comfortable…and loved. Emily’s eyes were fixed on hers, her deep brown irises emitting concern.

Alison saw Emily lifting her hand, and it felt like it was happening in slow motion. She watched as Emily’s fingers slowly closed in on her cheek, landing delicately against her face to move her hair aside.

“Ali, are you okay? Nothing happened tonight, right?” Her eyes were tight and worried, and it was the sweetest thing Alison had ever seen.

“Of course it did. You danced with me.” She smiled sweetly.

“I mean…at the party. No one hurt you, did they?” The tone of her question was timid. It was clear how much she cared. It was clear that if someone had hurt her Emily would rip them apart.

Alison shook her head, a serene smile on her face. She felt more content than she’d ever felt in her entire life. Emily slowly pulled her hand back. Alison wanted to stop her. She wanted to hold Emily’s hand in place. She wanted to feel Emily’s warmth. She wanted to grab her cheeks and plant her lips firmly against Emily’s. She wanted a lot of things. And normally she was someone who just took what she wanted. But it was different with Emily. It felt like she was powerless in her orbit.

“You’re such a good person.” Being so close to Emily made Alison admire her features all that much more. Her eyes were kind and inviting. Her lips were twisted into the slightest smile. She exuded a gentle nature that Alison had never seen before. “I want to be like you.”

“I don’t know about all that.” Emily laughed sheepishly.

Alison scooted closer to her. She reached up and played with a strand of her hair. She pushed it behind her ear. She smiled at Emily.

“You want to know what I wished for at the wishing well that day?” Her voice was so soft that Emily barely heard it.

Alison cradled Emily’s chin with her fingers and slowly moved forward. For a brief second, Emily went with it. She _wanted_ to kiss her. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want her first _real_ kiss with Alison to be some drunken haze. She wanted for both of them to be in the moment. She pulled back before their lips could make contact.

“Ali, you’re drunk. You’re really vulnerable right now…”

“So chivalrous.” Alison snorted out a laugh as she fell back against the pillow. She closed her eyes and hummed out a drunken sigh.

Minutes later, she was asleep. Emily stayed up most of the night watching her, making sure she was still breathing.

Right after Emily fell asleep Alison lurched up, gagging and sick to her stomach. Emily was next to her with a wastebasket seconds later, holding her hair as she puked. She felt her stomach doing flips at the sight and the smell of the vomit, but she pushed through it.

Alison had managed to get puke all over her dress, so she changed into one of Emily’s nightshirts and a pair of her sweatpants.

She collapsed back into bed and fell asleep again without a word. Emily smoothed her blonde locks away from her face. She was captivated by how peaceful and beautiful she looked when she was sleeping. She reached up and rubbed her thumb against Alison’s jaw. She leaned over and gently pressed her lips against Alison’s forehead. She saw Alison’s lips twist into a smile.

Emily laid down and stared at the ceiling. Seconds later she felt Alison’s body roll up against hers. Alison subconsciously reached out for her. Emily glanced down. Alison’s arm was lying across her stomach. The palm of her other hand was flat against her collar bone. Her cheek was nuzzled against her chest.

As Alison snuggled against her, Emily felt old feelings stirring to the surface. She didn’t know how much longer she was going to be able to fight her urges. She had spent years daydreaming about holding Alison DiLaurentis in her arms. But she never dreamed her life would be so complicated when it happened. She wanted more than anything to be with the sleeping beauty in her arms, but she knew that when her secrets came out it wasn’t just her life that would be affected. It would affect everyone close to her. And no one was closer to her than Alison DiLaurentis.


	5. Can't Fight This Feeling

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**Can’t Fight This Feeling**

The next morning Alison woke up and rolled over, reaching for the brunette. Emily’s side of the mattress was cold to the touch. She looked over and saw a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin on the end table next to the bed. Alison reached for the bottle, popping two of the pills into her hand. She threw them in her mouth and drank the entire glass of water. She plopped back down on the bed.

She closed her eyes and started drifting off again. She felt safe in Emily’s bed. She buried herself in the pillows that smelled exactly like the brunette.

She didn’t hear the door creak open or see Emily walking back into the room. But she felt the bed move when Emily sat down on the edge of the mattress. She opened her eyes and saw her version of a perfect dream: Emily holding a plate with scrambled eggs and toast and a cup of orange juice. Alison had to blink several times to make sure she wasn’t a mirage. She had never seen anyone look so _good_ in the morning.

She was wearing a breathable pair of exercise pants and a tank top. Her hair was flowing down her shoulders. It was smoothed down and didn’t have one strand out of place. Alison knew she hadn’t gotten any sleep last night, but she didn’t see any bags under her eyes. There was no hint of weariness.

“Morning, Sunshine. It’s so nice to see the reds of your eyes.” Emily teased. “How are you feeling?”

“Just let me die.” Alison moaned dramatically, pulling the covers up over her head. She heard Emily laughing and she peered out from under the covers.

“What’s the matter? Princess Peach Schnapps can’t handle her liquor?” Emily moved the plate. The fork she was holding clinked against it. “Here.” She handed the plate to Alison. “Eat.”

Alison gingerly took the food from Emily. She mashed the fork into the eggs and stared at them. Emily laughed in amusement.

“You’re acting like you’ve never seen eggs before. Are you afraid I poisoned them?”

“Well, we are getting ready to start Shakespeare in Lit.”

“Oh, please, if I’m doing the poison thing I’m going to go classic _Snow White_. I wouldn’t ruin two perfectly good eggs. So…what’s wrong with them? Are you allergic or something? A vegetarian?” Emily smiled.

“You know by now that I don’t give a shit about most people. What makes you think I give a shit about animals?”

“So then why are you looking at them like they have brought dishonor to your family?”

“I’m just not used to scrambled eggs. I usually only eat them poached.”

“Well, maybe next time you shouldn’t be unconscious when I’m taking your order, ma’am.” Emily replied dryly. “Seriously, eat up. You’re going to need your energy.”

“Why?” Alison looked at Emily suspiciously. She took a bite of the eggs.

“You’ll see.” Emily stood up.

She walked over to her closet and opened the door. She pulled a pair of boots out. She grabbed some socks and put them on. Alison watched as she laced her boots up. After she was done she grabbed a bottle and dumped an oblong yellow-brownish pill into her hand. When she put the bottle down Alison noticed it didn’t have a label. It looked like off-brand ibuprofen. Emily grabbed a bottle of water from her dresser and downed the pill.

“Why are you taking ibuprofen? You didn’t drink.”

“How do you know you didn’t give me a headache?” Emily smarted back. She gave Alison a smarmy look. “It’s my vitamins.”

“Vitamins.” Alison snickered. “Your mommy and daddy still make you take those? What are you, five? Are they shaped like cartoon characters and taste like berry berry cherry?”

“You really should do more research on self-care. Normal people take vitamins. Especially normal physically active people.” She walked over to the bed. “Man, a hangover really makes you bitchy. Or maybe that’s just you.”

“Sorry.” Alison realized how rude she was being. Her normal setting was ‘defense mode’. She was working on not being a sarcastic asshole around Emily.

“How’s breakfast?” Emily asked.

“Good. Thanks. How long have you been up?”

“Never really went to sleep.”

“So you just stayed up and watched me sleep?” Alison smirked before taking a sip of orange juice. “Creeper.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit.”

A flash of the evening came back to Alison. Emily holding her hair while she retched. Her eyes widened.

“Oh, God.” Alison uttered. She’d been so blacked out she’d forgotten about hurling on Emily. “Oh my God. I puked on you.” Her entire face flushed.

“More on yourself than me, but…yeah.” Emily nodded.

“I am so sorry, Em.”

“It’s fine.” Emily smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Alison picked up a piece of toast and bit into it. “How are you so _awake_?”

“I have insomnia. I’m used to not sleeping. It’s been worse since the move. I’ve gotten used to it though. It’s good practice.”

“For what? Does the Olympics have a marathon “not sleeping” category?”

“No. But life does.” Emily plopped down on the bed next to her. She grabbed her phone and saw a message from Toby.

**_Did you and Alison make it home safe?_ **

Emily tapped her phone, responding,

**_Yeah. Sorry again for ditching you. I’m the worst date ever._ **

She got a response almost immediately.

**_Not even close. I had a girl puke up three corndogs on me on a Ferris wheel once...while the ride was jammed and we were suspended a hundred feet in the air._ **

**_You win. That beats whatever Alison puked up on me last night. Sorry again. I’ll make it up to you. I promise. How about another ride soon?_ **

**_You bet._ **

“Who are you talking to?” Alison tried to get a look at her phone.

Emily put the phone down on her dresser before Alison could see anything.

“Toby. He was just making sure we didn’t end up dead in a ditch somewhere.”

“Do you often text boys when you have a beautiful girl in your bed in the mornings?”

“It’s only fair. I did kind of bail on him.”

“Oh, that’s right. You had that _thing_ with him last night.” Alison pretended not to know that she was well aware of Emily’s plans.

Emily shot her a sideways glance letting her know she didn’t appreciate being lied to.

“Don’t do that.” Emily frowned.

“What?” She would die on this hill. She was going to act like jealousy wasn’t a word in the English language.

“Toby is my friend and I care about him. You’re just going to have to learn to deal with it.”

Alison felt a weird humiliation bubbling to the surface. She felt _guilty_. Emily had made her feel guilty. What was that about? It frustrated her. Because she didn’t understand what she was feeling. She didn’t understand why she cared so much about what Emily thought of her. She’d never cared what anyone thought about her. Life was easier for her when she didn’t care. It was easier to protect herself if she pushed her emotions away.

“I didn’t _ask_ you to leave him hanging.” The second she said it she regretted it. She hated that she didn’t have a filter sometimes.

“You’re welcome,” Emily said dryly.

Alison saw something inside of her shift. There was a strange look on her face. She looked uncomfortable. She shifted her boots against the floor. Alison didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to her.

“I don’t get why you’re spazzing out so much about it. It was just a party.” Alison flippantly dismissed it.

“You were there _alone_.” Emily’s eyes flashed with a mix of emotions. “You didn’t have anyone looking out for you. You should have called someone. You should have called _me_.”

“I invited you. You were busy.”

“Don’t try to turn this around on me. You never should have gone. Those places are a breeding ground for trouble. You scared the hell out of me.” Emily’s hands started to shake. “I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.”

Alison frowned at her. Emily had blown her off to hang out with Toby. And now she was lecturing her like she was a child. It was ridiculous.

“I’m not your responsibility. I’m not some _chore_.” Alison scowled at her.

“I’m not saying that…”

“I never would have called you if I knew you were going to freak out. God. I thought you were hardcore. You need to loosen up.” Alison put her fork down and stared angrily at her breakfast.

“I _did_ loosen up. And it nearly got my girlfriend and I date-raped.” Emily snapped.

Alison froze. She peered at Emily.

“Oh.” She stared at her with wide eyes. She’d heard the words, but she hadn’t processed them.

Emily took a breath and sat down next to Alison. Alison didn’t know what to say.

“I figured it out, and thankfully we had friends there with us. But if I hadn’t been there…or if our friends hadn’t stepped in…” Emily dreaded to think about the ‘what ifs’. She sighed, “No one ever thinks it could happen to them. But it _does_ , Ali. Things happen. And I never want anything to happen to you.” She reached out and put her hand on top of Alison’s.

Alison’s instinct was to drop the plate she was holding and grab Emily’s hand. The simple earnest motion had rendered Alison completely speechless. The gesture was so kind and gentle.

She quietly let the information sink in. It suddenly made sense as to why Emily was so pissed about the party. She wasn’t just trying to be a bitch about it. She was truly concerned. Emily was concerned…because she cared.

Once reality set in the shock faded and gave way to anger. Because how dare _anyone_ mess with Emily Fields? _Her_ Emily. _Her_ mermaid. She felt a bitter rage rising in her throat.

“I’m going to need names and addresses.” The calm nature of Alison’s ire was more menacing than her normal attitude. “And an alibi.”

It wasn’t exactly the reaction that Emily had been expecting. She laughed softly.

“Ease up, _thug life_.” She glanced at the plate of food in Alison’s hands. “Just eat your room service and leave the heavy lifting to me.”

Alison laughed and feigned like she was insulted.

“I can be just as threatening as you. I’m just more subtle about it.”

“Well, as much as I would love to see you headline your own murder-for-hire plot, I’d kind of prefer it if you stayed out of jail,” Emily said.

“With my family’s lawyers I’m untouchable.” Alison boasted.

“Maybe here in Pennsylvania. But they do things a little differently in Texas.”

“I guess they do it _Walker, Texas Ranger_ style? Wild, wild west?”

“Yes, with tumbleweed blowing around in the background and a deserted saloon.” Emily replied sarcastically.

“I bet you’d look hot in a cowgirl outfit.” Alison smiled at her.

Alison’s smile was so captivating. It was devious, yet illuminating. She had such an alluring nature. Emily couldn’t be mad at her when she saw her smile.

“You would lose that bet.” Emily shook her head.

They glanced at one another. The air in the room had shifted. There was a lull of silence. Alison cleared her throat and glanced at the food…the breakfast that she’d taken for granted. She realized what an asshole she’d been. Emily had dropped everything to help her last night, and she’d opened up her home and taken care of her. She deserved better than a bitchy attitude. She slowly looked up at the patient brunette.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Alison nervously fidgeted with her fork. “The last thing I want to do is put you in an awkward situation.”

“It’s okay.” Emily replied.

Alison couldn’t imagine what Emily must have felt like rushing out to the party to get her. She had no idea how she’d managed to keep her cool. She hated that someone had tried to hurt the brunette. She hated that Emily had to live with it. She could see the wheels turning in Emily’s head. She knew she was thinking about it. It bothered Alison to see her frown. Seeing her upset made the world feel like it was off of its axis.

She reached out and gently touched Emily’s wrist, tracing her index finger along the crease in her joint. She curled her thumb around her wrist.

Their eyes met.

“Tell me they didn’t get away with it.” Alison clenched her jaw.

“They got busted for a lot of things. One of them got a slap on the wrist. The other is serving time. I don’t really know much else. We just reported it to the school and they looked into it. After that I just wanted to get back to my life. I had so much else going on. And we weren’t hurt, thankfully. So I went back to focusing on my swimming. And my girlfriend went back to her music.”

Alison felt a surge of petty jealousy when Emily mentioned her girlfriend. She did her best not to scowl.

“So you like musically inclined women?” Alison asked. She had never been so glad that she had learned how to play the piano.

“I guess I have a type.” Emily thought about it. Her first girlfriend in California had been a drummer in an indie rock band.

“Yeah, I have a type, too.” Alison smirked at Emily. Her type was Emily Fields. She was certain she would never want another person as much as she wanted Emily. “So…” Alison looked up at Emily’s vision board, “…this musically inclined girlfriend…”

“Ex-girlfriend.” Emily corrected her, which is exactly what Alison had wanted her to do.

“What happened?”

“It’s complicated.” Emily looked away from Alison and out the window. After a few seconds she returned her attention back to Alison. “Relationships don’t always work out when you’re young, you know? High school is fleeting. I think we’re continuously growing. We change. I was Emily in Texas. And now I’m Emily in Pennsylvania.”

“Do you miss it?” Alison asked. “Texas? Do you miss being there?”

The question seemed to unnerve Emily. She tried not to flinch. She tried not to think about everything she’d left behind.

“Sometimes.” She shrugged.

Alison waited for her to elaborate, but Emily didn’t say anything else.

“You’re a woman of many words.” Alison teased her. “You know, the elusive act is only cute for so long. Sooner or later I’m going to need your social security number and all your passwords so I can read up on you.”

“Bold of you to assume I have a life interesting enough to read up on.” Emily smirked.

“Are you kidding? You’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to Rosewood in decades.”

“That’s true.” She had a cocky look on her face. “And it’s also kind of sad.” Emily chuckled. She gave Alison a small smile. “But I am glad I’m here.”

“I’m glad you’re here, too.” Alison smiled back. “I appreciate you letting me crash here last night.” She ate another bite of toast. “I’m sorry if I was a jerk.”

“We’re all jerks when we drink.” Emily cringed when she thought about some of the shit she’d done when she was wasted.

“I thought you said you don’t drink.”

“I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t in the past.” Sometimes she regretted her past, especially when it involved alcohol.

“I knew you had a bad girl streak in you.” Alison playfully elbowed her. “And that streak is totally indigo.”

“Aw, that’s cute. You’re still drunk.” Emily smiled sarcastically. “It’s about as indigo as that orange juice.”

“Oh, come on. There is _literally_ an ‘Emily’ in the Indigo Girls. Just admit that I’m right.”

“Is this really the hill you want to die on?” Emily leaned back and propped herself up on her elbow. “Just finish your pink toast and your blue eggs.”

“That’s going to make for some very colorful vomit.”

“Hey, you made your bed. You can lie in it.”

“I’d rather lie in yours.” Alison glanced down at Emily’s bedspread with a smile on her face. “Oh, wait. I _am_.”

“Did you sleep okay?” Emily questioned.

Alison had never felt better in her life, the hangover notwithstanding.

“Better than okay.” Alison nodded. “I’m really glad you answered when I called. I wasn’t prepared for the lecture, but maybe I needed it.”

“Yeah, I may have been a little hard on you last night.” Emily admitted.

“Oh? You like it rough?” Alison raised her brows flirtatiously. “Do tell. Was I everything you ever hoped for and more?”

“I’ve had better.” The response earned her a scowl from Alison. It made Emily laugh.

Alison stuck her tongue out at Emily. She felt like a child, but she also felt satisfied when she saw Emily chuckle at her.

She picked up her toast and took a bite of it. It didn’t take her long to finish her breakfast. The second she put her plate down Emily stood up.

“You done?”

“Yeah.” Alison took a sip of juice.

“Good.” Emily grinned. She nudged her. “Get up. We’re going to work that hangover off.”

“Do you _want_ me to vomit up everything I just ate?”

“We can place bets on the color of the vomit.” Emily joked.

Alison grumbled. The last thing she wanted to do was exercise.

“Don’t you have an apartment to find?” Alison whined.

“That can wait. Come on.” Emily grabbed her arms and pulled her towards the edge of the bed.

Even if Alison wanted to fight her, she couldn’t. Emily was a lot stronger than she realized. She moved forward as Emily was pulling her to her feet. She gripped Emily’s arms so she wouldn’t topple over.

The combined motions made it so Alison ended up gently colliding with Emily’s body. It was awkward, but it felt right to Alison. It was like a much needed hug. The only thing missing was Emily’s arms around her. Their faces were inches apart. It would have been so easy for Alison to ease up on the tips of her toes and kiss her. But before she got the chance Emily loosened her grip on Alison’s arms and started to take a step back.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Emily was completely oblivious to the smoldering look that Alison was giving her. She was concerned because she thought that she’d accidentally hurt Alison.

It was the first time the blonde had seen a break in Emily’s outer shell. Alison found her concern endearing. Her heart was so soft.

Alison slid her fingers down Emily’s biceps and tickled her forearm. She kept her eyes fixed on Emily’s as she curled her hands in towards the front of Emily’s palms. She gently pressed their palms together and linked their fingers. Emily glanced at their intertwined hands and smiled.

Emily could feel something between them. All of the feelings she’d had as a child resurfaced. The longing. The aching. The relief she’d felt when she’d finally kissed her at the sleepover. It was all there. Only it was more prominent. It was like her heart was beating in a code, telling her to kiss the blonde. She could feel it in every nerve ending she had. She could actually feel her body yearning for Alison.

It took all of her willpower not to grab Alison and throw her back into her bed and ravish her. She wanted to kiss every inch of her body.

The sound of heavy footsteps snapped her out of the moment. Emily looked at the open door and they quietly parted. Alison sat down against the edge of the bed and reached for her shoes.

Seconds later Emily’s dad appeared. He was in his military uniform sipping a cup of coffee. He looked into Emily’s room like he was searching the perimeter.

“Morning, girls.” He nodded and gave them a little smile.

He didn’t say anything else. He just glanced in the room again and turned and calmly walked away.

Alison looked at Emily with a mixture of amusement and fear on her face. She tried not to break into hysterical laughter.

“Was that the ‘military’ way of sitting on the front porch with a shotgun to chase away his daughter’s suitors?” Alison questioned.

“No. The ‘military’ way is literally sitting on the front porch with a shotgun.” Emily laughed. “Only replace the shotgun with an M4 Carbine.”

“Has he ever taken you to the shooting range?” Alison asked curiously.

“A few times.” Emily nodded. She grabbed a hair tie and lifted her hands up over her head. Alison stared at her muscles as she wrapped her hair up tightly on top of her head. “He wanted me to respect the weapons in our house.”

Alison smiled. She could picture Emily in uniform standing statuesquely still while aiming a weapon. It made her feel hot all over.

“Must be interesting growing up in a military family,” Alison said.

“I guess.” Emily sounded indifferent. It was all she knew, so it was just normal to her. “There are a lot of expectations. A lot you have to live up to.”

Alison grimaced. She made a face as she mentally relived walking into Emily’s house drunk. Her dad had to have known the truth.

“God, he probably thinks I’m a terrible influence.” Alison realized. Though, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe it would be fun to be bad with Emily.

Emily stifled a laugh. Alison didn’t see the humor in it. Most of the town hated her already. She hadn’t done herself any favors by stumbling into her crush’s house completely trashed out of her mind.

She wasn’t considering that Emily had also done things in her past that had been frowned upon by other people’s parents. Alison could only see the perfect parts of Emily. She didn’t know about her imperfections.

But Emily had screwed up in her life, too. She remembered the cold uncaring eyes of Courtney’s parents. She remembered the judgmental look on Courtney’s mother’s face. She remembered the calculating discerning frown on Courtney’s father’s face. She remembered feeling like something was wrong with her…that everything was her fault. They hadn’t helped matters by placing all of the blame on her.

 _“Courtney was right. We never should have let you into our home,”_ Courtney’s mom had been the first to speak.

Courtney’s dad had just stared at Emily as his wife talked about how she was a terrible influence. She’d told Emily that she was to blame for every sin and atrocity that had “befallen” their house. It was only after Courtney’s mother had stormed out that Courtney’s father had calmly faced her and told her she wasn’t welcome in their lives anymore.

It would have been fine if her best friend didn’t live there, too. So Emily had bitten back. She had fought Courtney’s dad.

_“That’s not fair.”_

_“What’s not fair is you turning our lives upside down with your blasphemous ways.”_

_“Blasphemous?”_ She’d had to fight the urge to roll her eyes and snap back “okay, Boomer”. _“I have rights and…”_

 _“You’re a minor. And a guest in this house. You don’t have any rights. You do what we say.”_ The tone of his voice had startled her. He’d stared at her for several seconds and then cleared his throat. _“That being said, I’m not an unreasonable man. I think there might be a fairly simple solution here. If we could reach an agreement…financially…it might benefit everyone.”_

Emily had been stunned at the suggestion.

_“You…are you offering to pay me to keep me away?”_

_“And in exchange for your discretion about this.”_

_“You’re trying to bribe me out of your lives?”_ She had never felt so dirty…so used. And it wasn’t even completely her fault. _“You hate me that much?”_

But they’d made up their minds about her that day. She knew they were going to make her life a living hell unless she folded.

So she’d folded. It had been humiliating. And it had broken her heart. She’d lost more than her dignity that day. She’d lost her best friend.

Emily didn’t want Alison to feel the way she felt that day. She didn’t want Alison to feel like less than she was. She walked over to the blonde and put her hand on her arm to comfort her.

“That little stunt last night isn’t even a blip on my parent’s radar. Trust me, I’ve done worse.”

“Damn, Hell’s Angel, what did you do?” Alison gave her a hard time.

There was a brief moment of something that looked like guilt washing across her face. Alison saw her flinch. Emily fought back her discomfort. She tried to force out a smile.

“I mean, do you think my Christian conservative parents were happy when I came home with purple hair or showed up on a bike…or came out?”

It felt like a non-answer. Alison didn’t like that she was being so elusive. She was starting to realize that Emily shut down when she mentioned Texas. It intrigued her, but it also annoyed her. Because Emily knew about her past. Emily knew about her sins. Alison wanted it to be both ways. She didn’t think it was fair for Emily to have secrets. She wanted them to be open and honest with one another.

“You always do that.” Alison pointed out.

“What?”

“You get weird when I talk about your past.”

Emily knew she was right, and she wanted to tell her. But she couldn’t.

“Because it’s my past.” Emily replied. “Come on.” She motioned for Alison to follow her. “Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Alison asked.

“We’re going to your house to get a change of clothes and then we’re going for a hike.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

Emily grinned at her without saying a word. Alison relented. They went across the street so Alison could change and brush her teeth. She put on some light make-up, which Emily made fun of her for.

“Who are you getting dolled up for? The bears?”

“You know, just for that crack, I hope they eat you.” Alison stuck her tongue out at the brunette.

They started their hike on the trail that led them to the wishing well. Emily led the way from there. Alison struggled to keep up as they jogged through the woods. She wasn’t out of shape by any means, but running with a hangover was taking the wind out of her. She stopped several times and leaned over to try and catch her breath. She watched the sweat drip down her nose. Every time she stood up Emily was jogging circles around her, waiting for her. Alison felt like she was gloating a little bit, but it didn’t piss her off. It just encouraged her to try harder.

Alison didn’t want to admit it to Emily, but the jogging was actually helping her hangover. She still felt like crap, but there was a natural high that came with being out in nature. She enjoyed the scenery. She enjoyed it even more with Emily leading the way.

She hesitated when Emily reached the head of a trail that was more challenging.

“That trail isn’t open to the public.” She didn’t want to admit she was afraid.

“We’re in the woods. The entire place is open to the public. Besides, since when do you follow the rules?” Emily smiled wryly at her.

“Since I don’t want to die. The trail isn’t safe. It runs parallel to a cliff.”

“So, we’ll stay away from the cliff.” Emily pressed forward.

Alison didn’t want to follow her, but she didn’t want her to go alone either. They trekked up through a little bit of harsh terrain, but near the top it wasn’t nearly as scary as Alison remembered. The last time she’d come out this way had been years ago. She’d been in middle school at the time. They’d played a prank on some poor unsuspecting girl where they made her think that Alison fell over the edge. It had scared the girl half to death and when she went to help Alison, Alison and her posse had trapped her in a crevice in a rock wall and had left her there for hours.

The girl had cried for an hour after they let her out. The girl had since moved away, but it’s something that Alison still felt guilty for. Looking back, she realized how ruthless and mean it had been.

Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to come back out this way. It was a reminder of the terrible things she’d done. It was another reason why Emily might hate her. But as they stood at the top breathing in the fresh air she felt her past washing away.

It was more beautiful than she remembered. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a photo of the ravine.

“Not so scary, is it?” Emily turned towards Alison.

The sun was hitting the brunette just right. The glow of her sweat made her look like an angel. It seemed impossible that someone so perfect existed. Alison looked at her. She looked at her smile. And it’s like she forgot how to breathe when she was with her.

Suddenly, it wasn’t Alison’s past or the cliff that was scaring her. It was her present. It was being in Emily’s presence. She was so afraid she was going to screw it up.

“Not at all.” Alison couldn’t take her eyes off of the girl next to her. “There are much scarier things in life.”

 _Feelings_. Feelings were terrifying.

She took a minute to get lost in everything. Emily. The moment. The beauty of nature. She came to the realization that being lost wasn’t a bad thing, especially being lost in the right direction. Maybe losing herself is just what she needed. Maybe she’d emerge from being lost a better person than she was now. Maybe this was what she needed to do to find herself.

“I haven’t been out here in forever.” Alison glanced over the edge. “It’s definitely one for the scrapbook.”

“ _You_ scrapbook?” Emily poked her in the ribs.

Normally Alison got pissed when people touched her without permission, but with Emily she wanted _more_.

“You know what I mean. Like…online scrapbooking. Insta. Snapchat.” She looked around. “Come here.”

Alison directed her on where to stand. She pushed herself close to Emily’s body and then held the camera out in front of them, making sure to capture the trees on the ravine behind them. She snapped a few shots and then put her phone up.

They looked out at the ravine. There was a large gap between the cliff they were on and the other side. They scanned the other side. There was a trail that curved around and down to a place that Emily recognized.

“Is that…”

“Yeah.” Alison saw what had caught her gaze. “The kissing rock.”

“Man, that takes me back. You used to tell stories about that place.”

“They weren’t stories. It was all true. People have been sneaking off to the kissing rock for hundreds of years.”

“Yeah, yeah. And the ghosts of all the other lovers spy on you and push you to do it.” Emily didn’t believe a word of it. “It’s just a dusty old rock.”

“Have you ever been?”

“No.”

“Then how would you know?”

“All right. Fine. Show me. Let’s go for it.” Emily took a few steps back. She measured the distance and limbered up.

“Are you crazy? We can’t make that jump.” She grabbed Emily’s arm.

“Live a little. It’s only a few feet.” She shook her arm free of Alison’s grasp and then backed up several more feet and raced forward.

Alison felt her heart freeze in her chest when Emily was airborne. But she was safely on the other side seconds later.

“You are insane!” Alison called out to her.

“Your turn, princess.”

Alison didn’t like being called out. She wanted to prove she wasn’t a wimpy city slicker. She wanted to be able to keep up with Emily. She dug her shoe into the ground and swooshed it around. She did the same thing Emily did, measuring the distance and psyching herself up for it.

“Just focus on me!” Emily encouraged her. “I’ve got you, Ali.”

Alison believed her. Emily made her believe she could do anything. She took a breath and then followed in Emily’s footsteps. She felt like she was in the air forever, but it was only a few seconds. She didn’t stick the landing, but Emily was there to help her from tumbling down to the ground. Emily was laughing.

“Very graceful.” She helped Alison get her balance.

“It was your stupid idea.” Alison brushed her pants off.

“Well, you know how it goes. I say ‘jump’, you say…”

“ _Off of what cliff_?” Alison interrupted her. She faced her. “You know, you’re a little bit reckless.”

“And you’re a little bit prissy.” Emily playfully jabbed Alison in the ribs.

Alison laughed and lightly smacked her shoulder.

“Come on.” Emily took her hand.

Now that the terror had worn off, the height of the moment gave Alison a high that she’d never felt before. She let Emily take the lead again as they walked the trail to the kissing rock.

Emily seemed completely mesmerized by the burst of colors in the trees, and Alison understood why. Looking at the leaves brought out a deep sense of contemplation for Alison, too.

They were both so caught up in the scenery that neither one of them realized they were still holding hands when they reached the kissing rock. Emily let go of Alison’s hand to wipe some of the dirt away from the boulder so they could sit down. She reached her hand out to help Alison step up against the uneven terrain. Alison gladly accepted her help. She sat down and Emily sat next to her.

They listened to the sound of the trees rustling above them. A spotty orange leaf came floating down in front of them and landed at their feet.

“It’s pretty out here.” Emily smiled.

“Autumn seems really important to you.” Alison leaned over, plucking the leaf off of the dirty forest floor.

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Alison observed the leaf. Up close she could see all the intricate flecks of gold and red. It was like a metamorphosis of sorts.

“I don’t know.” Emily put her palms against the rock and leaned back. As Emily spoke Alison slowly moved closer to her. She watched her lips. “I think because everything seems to slow down. We spend our lives constantly on the go, but when autumn comes we’re forced to stop and take a breath. And life doesn’t seem so intimidating when you look at the trees.”

“ _You_ get intimidated? Hard to believe.” She’d seen Emily stand up to almost everyone who crossed her. She wasn’t afraid of anything.

Emily seemed so confident and self-assured. It was jarring to see her struggling with uncertainty.

“We’ve all got our insecurities.” Emily leaned forward and clasped her hands together. “Fears and doubts are all part of human nature.”

“What deep dark secrets haunt you, Emily Fields?” She brushed her fingers against Emily’s.

Her touch brought Emily out of her thoughts. She looked up at the blonde. The look of curiosity on Alison’s face morphed into a look of concern. Emily could see it in the way she pinched her brow together and pressed her lips into a thin line.

Emily started to tell her. She _wanted_ to tell her. But something stopped her. Alison saw the hesitation on her face.

“Does it have to do with why you left Texas? You kill a guy or something? Knock over a liquor store?” She inhaled an excited gasp. “Are you on the run?”

“No.” Emily laughed. “No, nothing _that_ insane. But I’m not completely innocent.”

She couldn’t help but think about the unanswered messages in her inbox.

**_I miss talking to my best friend._ **

“I saw you buy balloons at the park for a four-year-old two days ago. You hold doors open for old people. You stop traffic for animals crossing the road. You act like a big badass, but I know your heart. What could you have possibly done that was so terrible?”

Emily didn’t reply at first. The only noise in the air was the gentle rustling of the trees.

“I screwed someone over.” Emily looked down at her feet. “Someone I cared about. I lied about something huge.”

“What was it?”

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t go back and change it.” She had a somber look on her face. It made Alison sad.

“We all make mistakes.” Alison put her hand down next to Emily’s thigh, hoping that if she moved close enough Emily would grab it. “I mean, look who you’re talking to. I’ve got a track record for _terrible_ offenses.” She lifted her head and their eyes met. “You say it’s human nature to have fears and doubts. It’s also human nature to screw up. It’s what we do.”

Emily peered at her. She wanted to tell her that she hadn’t just screwed up _her_ life. But Alison didn’t see her screw-ups when she looked at her. Alison only saw the beauty of her soul.

“What matters is who you are. And I know you. You’re a good person. I remember the little girl in second grade who offered me a pencil after mine broke in class.”

“You remember that?” Emily blinked in surprise.

“I remember a lot about you.” Alison moved her fingers closer to Emily’s. “I remember you holding Hanna’s hand when she was crying because of her parents’ divorce. I remember you making sure that every single person in our class got a valentine on Valentine’s Day. You were one of the sweetest and purest little girls I’d ever seen.”

“I’m not that little girl anymore.” Emily looked down. She saw that their fingertips were nearly touching. And she felt the same thing she’d felt last night when Alison tried to kiss her.

“No. You’re better.”

Emily looked up and saw the expression on Alison’s face. Alison put her hand against Emily’s thigh and licked her lips. Emily reached up and touched Alison’s cheek with her palm. They moved closer.

Emily left her lips hovering over Alison’s. She stroked her face, her fingertips grazing Alison’s ear. Alison’s eyes kept flickering to Emily’s mouth, begging for her touch.

Alison took a quiet breath. She reached up to touch Emily’s cheek, her fingertips tracing her jaw line. She moved forward slightly, but stopped and peered into Emily’s eyes.

“Close your eyes,” Alison brushed a strand of Emily’s hair behind her ear. She watched as Emily blinked slowly and let her eyelids fall over her eyes. Alison took a relaxing breath in through her nose and then exhaled and moved forward, her eyes fluttering closed.

The intensity of the darkness seemed to send a sense of urgency into the air. Behind closed eyes, they were seeing colors, though as impossible as it might have seemed. Red hues. Orange hues. Warm auras.

As they moved closer to one another, their other senses started to make up for the lack of sight. Emily could smell Alison’s scented moisturizer. Alison could feel Emily’s breath.

“You feel it, don’t you?” Alison asked. “The ghosts…”

Emily could feel something otherworldly prickling at the back of her neck. She thought the ghost story was stupid, but perhaps there was some truth to it. Because she could feel _something_ pressuring her to move in. So she did.

When Alison felt Emily’s mouth against hers something primal inside of her awakened. Their eyes popped open. Alison kissed back with a fervent passion. She leaned into the kiss, appreciating the feel of Emily’s plump smooth lips. Her breath tasted sweet, like the smell of lilacs. Her lips did for Alison’s body what her eyes did for her soul. She could see into Emily’s spirit, but the gateway to her physicality was her mouth. She kissed like she lived: Free. Open. Brave.

Alison could see back into their childhood. Memories she’d forgotten all about. Emily on the playground with her friends. Emily riding her bike around the neighborhood. Emily smiling shyly at her in class. It was all the unsurfaced feelings…all the words they’d left unspoken. They could feel their hearts opening up to one another.

They both fought to lead the kiss, which made it deep and heated. Alison parted her lips and slid her tongue into Emily’s mouth, rolling it over the top of her teeth. The inside of her mouth was just as soft and warm and velvety as the rest of her. Emily met her motions, pressing her tongue forward to get a better taste of the blonde.

Alison slid her hand up over Emily’s hip and curled closer to her body. Emily responded by leaning forward and placing her hand against Alison’s side, her thumb landing just below her right breast. She felt Alison groan into her mouth and it sent a shooting pang of desire through her body. Alison curled her fingertips into the fleshy part of Emily’s inner thigh, digging her fingers in as she moved them closer to the crease in her pants.

It was a wild mixture of love and lust…need and desire. Animalistic, but also controlled. Their bodies demanded more. Their pulses were pounding. Their hearts were beating erratically.

When they pulled away, they were both taking quiet shallow breaths. Emily’s cheeks were hot, and she could see that Alison’s face was flushed, too. She smiled at the blonde. It was the first time she’d felt completely content in a long time.

“You were right.” Emily lowered her hand, resting her palm against Alison’s leg.

“Huh?” Alison couldn’t form a coherent thought. She had just kissed Emily Fields. And it felt like the entire world had faded away, and it was just the two of them.

“About the ghosts.” She looked at the rock. “I have wanted to do that since I saw you sitting out with your friends that first day I got back to town. I just needed a little push.”

Alison wanted to tell her that she felt some kind of spirit move through her, but she was still trying to piece her words together to form a sentence that wasn’t complete gibberish. All she could think was, _“You hot. I like. We have the sex now?”_

Emily stared at her with intense eyes, and it made Alison feel like melting into a heated puddle of goo.

“What’s the matter?” Emily rubbed her thumb against the tip of Alison’s lip. The motion was so intimate. It only added to Alison’s lustful thoughts. “Something got your tongue?” She moved forward and pressed her lips against Alison’s again before pulling back with a smile.

“Just basking in the glory of being right.” Alison finally found her voice. She smiled as she reached for Emily’s hand.

“I have a confession to make.” Emily curled her fingers into Alison’s. Alison leaned forward in anticipation. She was expecting a huge revelation. Emily smiled at her. “Ending up here wasn’t exactly a coincidence. I wanted to bring you here.”

She’d been lying in bed all night thinking about it. Ever since she’d gotten back to town all she’d wanted to do was kiss Alison. She wanted to be with her. After pushing her affection away during her drunken stupor, Emily hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the taste of her lips. She knew that she wanted their first kiss to be memorable.

“You sneaky devil.” Alison put her palm against Emily’s collar bone.

“So…was it better than the last time?” Emily smirked.

Alison’s memories flooded her mind. She felt a warm blanket of happiness enveloping her. She remembered the last time she’d felt Emily’s lips on hers.

“The treehouse.” Alison smiled. “You remember.”

“I wasn’t sure if you did. I wasn’t sure if it meant anything. I mean, we were just kids…”

Alison’s lips crashed against Emily’s again, silencing her. She grabbed Emily’s shirt, knotting her fingers into it as she pulled her closer. Emily gripped the sides of Alison’s jaw and rubbed her thumbs underneath her ears. This kiss was filled with a more passionate intensity than the last. She could tell that Alison had been craving it for a long time.

Alison pulled back and exhaled a breath against Emily’s face. Emily just smiled at her.

It was the perfect moment. It was everything Alison wished for at the wishing well and more. Maybe hopes and dreams weren’t for suckers after all. Magic and wishes...the impossible was possible.

“It’s funny how wishes work out.” Alison smiled. She laid her hand against Emily’s thigh again. “What did you wish for?”

“World peace.” Emily didn’t skip a beat.

“Hippie.” Alison teased.

There was a quiet pause. Emily straightened Alison’s hair with her fingertips.

“I wished for a fresh start.” She lowered her hand and put her palm on top of Alison’s hand. “And I’m pretty sure that my fresh start is you.”

“ _Pretty_ sure?” Alison squeezed her thigh, making her laugh.

“It’s inconclusive. I need to gather more data.” Emily leaned forward and gave her a gentle peck on her mouth.

They spent the rest of the morning ‘gathering data’ and they were both more than happy with the results.

* * *

Over the course of the next two weeks, they spent a lot of time together. They went back to the kissing rock several times. Emily set up a picnic one day. It wasn’t anything fancy. She’d just picked up some sandwiches from a deli. Alison was more interested in tasting Emily than the food, but they’d had a good time.

Emily took her on rides through the mountains. Alison was slowly getting more acclimated to being on the bike. Emily was a very safe driver. Alison never felt like she was in danger, but there was still a hint of dangerous excitement that came with riding a motorcycle.

Alison hung out with her after school when Emily went swimming. She thought about joining her, but she preferred to watch Emily in the water.

They kept their romance low-key. They held hands underneath the table at lunch. They snuck kisses in the bathroom. They sent each other sweet texts in class. It was every bit the whirlwind high school romance that was glorified in up-and-coming young adult novels.

They spent more time at Alison’s house than Emily’s. Emily liked watching her play the piano. She also liked that Alison’s parents were more lenient with them being alone. But it wasn’t because they were nice. It was because they were totally oblivious and didn’t care what their daughter was doing. Alison’s older brother Jason came and went. Most of their conversations consisted of grunts and head bobbing. He was usually either stoned or on the phone.

They had more privacy at Alison’s house. Emily was also still working on getting her own place. She’d reached out to Sabrina and asked her to set up a meeting with her building manager. Now that she was working a steady job at the gym she felt more comfortable about trying to get an apartment. She’d been by Sabrina’s building and had filled out an application.

She was spending less and less time at home. She loved her parents, but she felt suffocated. She felt like they were judging every little thing about her. They didn’t understand what she was going through or how she felt. She felt isolated.

The messages she got from her cyberbully were making it worse. She hadn’t told Alison about the messages or about her best friend back in Texas. Both were weighing heavy on her mind. The messages from the unknown number were starting to get more aggressive. Things like,

**_Liars deserve more than just their pants being on fire. Careful not to get burned, bitch._ **

And,

**_You’re going to get what’s coming to you._ **

Emily tried to ignore the messages, but they were starting to stress her out.

On the opposite end of the spectrum the other messages she was getting from her best friend tugged at her heart-strings. She was torn between two worlds, and it was starting to break her. She tried to stay busy to keep her mind off of it.

In the mornings she usually got up early to work out at the gym. She was having trouble battling her insomnia, so she decided to be proactive since she was awake. It was quiet in the early hours of dawn. It helped with her concentration.

The gym had become a regular part of her morning routine. The last Tuesday in September was no exception. She’d gotten up around five and slipped out of the house.

Jake wasn’t there yet and Toby only worked in the afternoons and evenings. Ezra was at the front desk.

Emily had met him the day she’d been hired. He was a nice guy for a manager of a gym. He didn’t have the machismo or bravado of typical gym-bros. He was also a little scrawny for a manager of a gym, which amused her.

He was a businessman, an introspective thinker. He usually had his nose buried in a book. He had debates with Aria when she came by with Mike. They liked to go back and forth about literary themes. It was the nerdiest thing Emily had ever seen.

He waved to her when she got there. As always, he had a book in his hands.

“You’re here early. Didn’t see your name on the schedule.”

“I’m not working until this afternoon. I’m just here to box a bit. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“It’s just stress.”

“Anything you want to talk about?” He lowered his book.

“No. It’s nothing. Just…stuff at home.” _Life. My future. The world in general._

“Well, you’re welcome to come here any time if you need to get away.” Ezra grabbed something from behind the desk. “Jake likes to keep it locked up when he’s not here. But have at it.” He tossed her the key.

“Thanks.” Emily grasped the keys. She glanced at the book in his hand. She was used to seeing classics. Mark Twain. Ernest Hemingway. William Faulkner. Instead, he was reading a young adult novel. _The Hate U Give_.

“Didn’t know you were into Angie Thomas. I read _On the Come Up_ this past summer.” Maya had been the one to turn Emily on to Angie Thomas. Emily really liked her writing style.

Ezra flipped the book over to look at the cover and nodded.

“Yeah, Aria picked it. It’s not a bad read. She’s apparently got a new one out, too.”

Emily smiled. Nerd boy had some culture. She had no idea. Rosewood was a place that kept on springing surprise after surprise on her.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it.” Emily smiled.

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Emily nodded and waved as she walked over towards the weight room. She let herself into the boxing area. She wasn’t surprised that Jake kept it locked up. There was a lot of equipment, and sometimes it would go missing when devious teenagers had the run of the room.

She taped her hands and put her boxing gloves on. She threw a couple of practice swings and then started jabbing at the heavy bag. She danced around on her feet as she worked on throwing her fists forward and following through.

She thought about her life back in Texas. She’d had it really good there. She hated herself for messing everything up. In a way, Texas was still with her. She got a message every day. This morning’s was,

**_The swim team looks like a bunch of floundering toddlers this year. You really were the glue that held them together. Hope you’re loving it “up nawth”. I dunno what people talk like in Pennsylvania. Is it all Yankees and stuff?_ **

She’d never met anyone in her life so persistent. She hated that she actually loved getting the messages. It was hard to not answer back. She knew that one day, eventually, they would stop coming. She was cherishing what she had until then.

“Hey, good looking.” A voice startled Emily out of her workout.

She saw a gleam of a moving reflection in the mirror. She spun around and saw Alison standing in the doorway. She was holding two disposable coffee cups. How long had she been there?

“Hey. You stalking me?”

“I was craving _The Brew_ this morning. Saw your bike out front.” Alison shrugged. “I also may have put a tracker in your bike.”

“Wow, that’s some next level shit.” Emily chuckled, pulling her gloves off. She walked over to meet Alison. Alison extended a cup of coffee. “Decaf?”

“Yes. You’re such a weirdo.”

Emily smiled and took the coffee from her. She took a sip.

“How did you get past Ezra?” Emily had learned that the gym was strict about membership. Toby was pretty lenient, but Ezra and Jake were a little more strict about the rules. Not just anyone could walk in off the street. Then again, maybe they could when they looked like Alison.

“With a poppy-seed bagel and a line about needing to see a girl about a motorcycle.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Emily laughed as she pecked Alison’s lips.

Their kissing had become commonplace, but it was still new and exciting every time it happened.

She put the cup down and grabbed a towel to dry her face. She grabbed her gloves and put them back on.

Alison watched her with a giant grin on her face. Emily never looked sexier than when she was glistening with sweat. Water made her body shimmer like Alison had never seen before. She watched as Emily jabbed at the bag.

“That’s hot.” Alison leaned against the door frame.

“Want me to show you a few moves?” Emily asked, pulling her gloves off.

Alison was enthused with the idea, so she jumped at the chance. Emily helped her wrap her hands while explaining the importance of protecting her knuckles. She made Alison take off her heels as she talked about how important balance was. Then she grabbed a pair of gloves and helped her put them on.

Alison moved them around. They felt clunky and heavy. Emily turned her towards the heavy bag.

“Now, plant your feet.” She looked down at Alison’s toes. They were really cute. She always went to a lot of trouble to keep her nails in perfect condition. Emily couldn’t even remember the last time she’d done her nails. “Concentrate on where you want to land your blow. And then take a breath…”

Alison did what she was told. She exhaled as she threw her fist forward. Her fist barely made contact with the bag. Even Alison knew the hit was pathetic.

“Not bad.” Emily nodded.

“Don’t lie.”

“Okay. You look like you were tapping on glass.” Emily stepped up behind her with a laugh. She put her hands on Alison’s hips to steady her, which made Alison’s concentration go right out the window. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at Emily. “Put a little more weight on your right foot. Lean into it.”

“Can I lean into you instead?” Alison said with a cheeky expression on her face.

Emily touched her side and Alison felt sparks all over her body. Without her heels on there was a sizable difference in their height. Emily leaned over Alison’s shoulder and pecked her cheek.

“Any time.” Her touch went from educational to sensual.

Alison cracked a smile. Emily lifted her hand and traced her fingers down against Alison’s arm until her hand was against the back of the glove. Her body was pressed against Alison’s.

“Just follow my movements.” Emily kept one hand firmly on her hip.

Alison felt Emily moving behind her, their bodies gently bumping together as Emily helped Alison lead her feet and extend her arm to show her the motions. Alison could feel Emily’s breath against her face. She could feel her body heat and her heartbeat. Alison wasn’t sure if the increase in the tempo of her pulse was from the workout or if she was turned on. Emily lowered her hands and slipped her palms in between Alison’s legs. Her hot fingers landed against her inner thighs.

“You need to widen your stance a little. Your feet need to be further apart.”

“Did you just tell me to open my legs for you?” Alison gave her a sultry look in the mirror.

“Easy, tiger.” Emily lifted her brows with a laugh. “Here, turn to the side just a little bit.” She moved Alison’s body. Alison didn’t object. “Bring your elbows back.” Emily turned to the side to give Alison some room to move. She kept one hand against her hip. “How does that feel?”

Their eyes met in the mirror. Alison smiled at her.

“Perfect.”

“Take another swing.” Emily stepped back so she wouldn’t accidentally get hit by one of Alison’s blows.

Alison took a moment to take a breath. The second hit made better contact. Alison was surprised by how good it felt.

“Much better. Now _really_ go at it. Get mad at it.” Emily encouraged.

“It’s a bag full of sand. Why would I be mad?” Alison held her hands up in confusion.

“Boxing is about release. It’s about control. It is a way to steady your emotions. Take everything you have and just go for it.”

Alison thought about it, and she realized…she wasn’t angry. She acted angry and bitchy all the time, but she didn’t have a reason as to why. Sometimes her family irritated her. Her parents were annoying and her brother was a pain in the ass. But they didn’t make her downright _angry_. She was just indifferent to them.

Maybe she was mad at herself. Maybe her greatest strengths were also her biggest weaknesses. Maybe she wasn’t as strong as she pretended to be.

Her thoughts drifted to school, and she felt something bubbling up beneath the surface. School itself didn’t make her angry. But the people at the school…they were a different story. Cindy and Mindy had been real bitches to her since she’d shaded them for Emily. Noel was the bane of her existence. And then there was Wilden…

Alison didn’t even realize she was swinging, but her fist made contact with the bag with a heavy “thwak”. She reared back and swung again, picturing his stupid little weasel face. She started throwing her other hand forward and beating on the bag until she felt Emily’s hand reaching out to touch her side.

“Whoa, easy. You’re going to hurt yourself.” She slid her palm up against Alison’s arm and pulled her back away from the bag.

Alison was breathing heavily, angry breaths flaring out through her nostrils. Emily kept her palm against Alison’s arm. She could feel her shaking. It was concerning. She hadn’t been expecting Alison’s emotions to turn so drastically. She thought they were just having fun. But the blonde was really upset.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” The last thing Emily meant to do was upset her. “What exactly were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” Alison muttered. Now she _was_ mad. She ripped the gloves off. “This is stupid.”

Emily was surprised by her sudden shift in attitude, but she backed up and let her have her space.

“Sorry.” Alison started peeling the wrap off of her hands. “I don’t mean it’s stupid. I just…I don’t think it’s for me.” She reached down and slipped her heels back on. “I’m Dolce and Gabbana, not Nike and New Balance.”

“Ali, if something is bothering you, you can talk to me…”

“I’m fine.” But she was stiff and Emily could tell. “I just don’t want to ruin my manicure.” She grabbed her coffee. “I’ll let you finish your work out. I’ve got some homework I forgot to do last night.” She moved towards the door. “I’ll see you at school.”

It wasn’t like her to be so _removed_ from the situation. If anything, she inserted herself into things and latched on. She seemed really upset, and Emily didn’t like it. She’d touched some kind of nerve, and she wanted to know what.

“Hold up a sec.” Emily jogged after her. She reached out for her arm. Alison turned around to face her. “Seriously, what just happened?”

“Just leave it alone. I’ve got my own life and I’m allowed my privacy. It’s not like you talk to me about Texas.”

Her words stung, but only because they were the truth. Emily had been working up the courage to tell her about everything, but every time she opened her mouth to say it, she felt like water was pouring in and she couldn’t breathe.

So instead of telling Alison everything…instead of opening up that channel, she let her go. She let her cool off. Because she knew what it felt like to be backed into a corner.

She watched Alison walk out of the gym. She wanted to chase after her, but she also knew that when Alison was in one of her moods it was best to let her cool down. So she went back to her boxing, getting in one final round before she showered and packed up for school.

She tried to brush Alison’s outburst off, but there was a cold prickling feeling she couldn’t shake. Something was going on with the blonde. She was hurting…or scared. And it ignited something inside of Emily that she couldn’t extinguish. Alison had told her to let it go, but Emily had no intention of doing what she was told.


	6. Pretty Little Secrets

**A/N:** _Buckle up. Things are about to get crazy._

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

**Pretty Little Secrets**

Emily tried to find Alison before homeroom, but she didn’t see her anywhere. She wanted to make sure she was okay. The way they’d left things confused her. Alison had snapped at her before, but there had been something more behind her actions at the gym.

They had spent almost every single day together since Emily had moved to town. She felt like she could read Alison fairly well, especially given that she had watched her so closely when they were kids. There had always been a strange unspoken understanding between them. Much like reconnecting with an old friend and being able to pick up together like no time had passed, being with Alison felt like they’d been together forever. It was something she couldn’t explain.

Like Alison, Emily didn’t believe in fairytales or love at first sight, but she did believe in connections and feelings. And her feelings never lied to her. Which is how she knew that something was really wrong. Alison seemed really unsettled when she left the gym. It’s like something inside of her had cracked. It worried Emily.

She combed the entire school and found no trace of her. She even stooped to asking Cindy and Mindy if they’d seen her. They just looked at Emily like she was going to give them some deadly disease just by being in their presence. Emily sent her a text after her search had turned up empty.

**_Bravo on your magic act, Houdini. I don’t see you anywhere. You make it to school okay?_ **

Alison didn’t reply at first, which was unlike her. But after about ten minutes Emily saw her phone flash,

**_Yeah. Just busy. See you in Econ._ **

It was short and curt and weird. Emily kept replaying the morning in her mind, trying to figure out what she’d done wrong. Had she offended her? Had she babied her or something when she was giving her the boxing lesson? Had she made Alison feel like she couldn’t do it?

Her concern was a constant noise in her head during her first period class. When it was time for Econ, she rushed through the hallways, not even taking a second to stop at her locker and switch her books out. She wanted to catch Alison before class.

She ended up catching _a lot_ more than she intended to. She heard something that sounded like bickering coming from the classroom. She stopped and peered around the corner.

Wilden had one hand on Alison’s wrist and was holding a piece of paper with his other hand. Alison jerked her wrist away. Emily felt like catapulting herself across the room and ripping the man’s eyes out. She caught the tail end of what he was saying,

“…nothing you can do.”

Emily stepped into the doorway. Both of them turned to face her. Emily kept her eyes locked on Wilden. She tightened her fists and two of her knuckles popped. Before she could say a word three other students came piling in the classroom behind Emily.

Emily walked over to Alison, but Alison turned away from her and walked to her desk. Emily felt like screaming, _“what is going on?”_ at the top of her lungs. Instead, she just sat down.

She waited until class started and then sent her a text.

**_You okay?_ **

**_I’m fine._ **

Emily looked over her shoulder. Alison made brief eye contact with her, but then glanced down at her book, where she was hiding her phone. Emily could practically feel her anxiety radiating off of her.

**_Ali, don’t lie to me. I see your hands shaking._ **

**_We shouldn’t be doing this. If he catches us he’ll blow it out of proportion._ **

**_I want to blow_ ** **him _out of proportion. Where does he get off talking to you like that?_**

**_Leave it alone._ **

_“Leave it alone.”_

She’d said the same thing at the gym. Maybe this was what had caused her to fly off the handle. Maybe a certain dildo-en teacher had been giving her a hard time.

Emily mentally took notes on how she could make his life a living hell for messing with Alison. Her first idea was one that went against everything in her bones, because she hated authority figures. The only authority figure she respected was her dad. But in this case, it seemed like they needed someone in power to do something.

**_We could go to the principal._ **

**_Just stop. We’ll talk about this later._ **

Alison put her phone up and they didn’t text for the remainder of class. They usually walked out together, but Alison dashed for the door the second the bell rang. Emily glared at Wilden as she was leaving. She would have thrown something at him, but there were too many witnesses. She was starting to wonder if there was some truth to the rumor about him being shady with students.

She was going to try her hand at lunch to try and reach Alison, but the blonde had ghosted her again. Emily walked over to their table where their friends were already seated.

“Has anyone seen Alison?” she asked.

“Have you checked the seventh circle of hell?” Hanna nibbled on a forkful of grilled chicken salad Caleb had brought from the café.

“I hear that’s reservation only. No demon in their right mind would give her an invite.” Caleb shoved his burrito into his mouth.

“Guys, this is serious. Something is going on. I’m worried about her.”

“Whatever it is, she’ll be fine. She’s like a cockroach. She’ll survive anything.” Hanna shrugged.

“She seemed pretty upset this morning. There was some kind of altercation with Wilden and now I can’t find her anywhere.”

Mona glanced at Emily, a strange worried expression on her face. Emily didn’t miss the subtle changes in her body language. Mona looked like she wanted to say something, but she hesitated.

“Wilden has that effect on most of the student body. Guy is a real piece of work. Even my mom hates him. And she doesn’t hate anyone.” Mike tapped the screen on his phone, chasing some imaginary points in a digital world. “But Alison can hold her own. She always has.”

“Still, I just want to make sure she’s okay. I wonder if she ditched.”

“Sometimes she hides in the library stacks. It’s her hunting ground where she picks off the weaker kids in the pack.” Mike didn’t even look up from his phone.

Emily hadn’t looked there yet. She thanked Mike and turned to walk out of the cafeteria. She was almost to the exit when she felt a gentle hand against her arm.

“Hey, Em, hold up.” Hanna stepped up beside her.

“What’s up, Hanna?”

Hanna started to say something, but then she glanced back at their friends. She slowly turned to face Emily again. She grasped her arm and pulled her off to the side of the cafeteria so they weren’t within earshot of anyone.

“Look, whatever this is, can it wait? I really need to find Alison…”

“That’s what this is about.”

“Why? You know something?” Emily asked.

“I know a lot about her. None of it good.” Hanna let go of Emily’s arm. “I’m not trying to pry or butt in where I don’t belong, but I’m not completely blind. You’ve been…different the past few weeks. So I just want to know…what’s going on with you two?”

“It’s…we’re…” Emily had no idea how to explain it. Because she couldn’t explain it herself. On paper it didn’t really make sense. The Queen Bee and The New Girl were suddenly caught up in a whirlwind romance. “It’s complicated.”

Hanna nodded nonsensically, like she had been expecting the answer, but she didn’t know what to say to it.

“Do you know why I dared you two to kiss when we were kids?” Hanna asked. Emily shook her head.

“Technically you dared her to kiss a girl. Alison _chose_ me.”

“I knew she would.” Hanna admitted. “You were the prettiest girl there by a mile. But the truth is I didn’t think she would actually go through with it. And I assumed if she did that she would show her true colors. I thought she’d push you away.”

“You _wanted_ her to reject me?”

“No.” Hanna threw her hands up defensively. “God, no, Em. I just…I wanted you to see her for who she was before she hurt you. The truth is I knew exactly who Alison was when we were five. I only hung around with her because I was desperate. But I also knew not to get too close. But I didn’t think you did. I saw the way you looked at her. I was worried about what she’d do to you. You were always so sweet to me. You were really there for me after my dad left. I knew that if Alison got her claws into you she’d destroy you.” She grimaced. “I know this sounds terrible. None of it is coming out right. But I was…in some weird way I was trying to protect you. And I know we’re older now, but I also know Alison. The entire town knows Alison. And she’s got you completely in her orbit. I’m just worried that this is some kind of ploy…”

“It’s not.” Emily cut her off. She was starting to get frustrated.

“You don’t even know her.” Hanna’s face tightened in concern.

“I know her better than you think.” Her response was calm, though she felt a flurry of emotions.

She couldn’t be mad at Hanna, because part of her knew that she was right. But not because she thought she was moving too fast. She couldn’t be angry, because she was hiding something huge that was bound to complicate matters. When she moved back to town she hadn’t been expecting to find a kindred spirit in anyone, much less Alison DiLaurentis. But she’d found something in the blonde that made her heart feel complete. And she was pretty sure Alison felt the same way.

She’d gotten to know Alison in a way that no one else had. Alison opened up to her when they were together. Emily could see her insecurities. She knew she wasn’t perfect. And she still cared about her. Because she could see her heart. She saw it every time Alison reached for her hand. She felt it every time they kissed. She could see it in the way Alison bristled up to protect what she believed in…fiercely. And she saw it in the way that she was trying to change. Beneath her rigid exterior she had a beautiful soul. She was the kind of person who lit up every time she played the piano, and someone who got a little bit scared when danger was afoot.

They hadn’t just stumbled together. They had fallen face first into the uncharted waters. But they were together. And the more time they spent together the deeper their feelings started to flow. Because it had been budding since childhood. Their story hadn’t started the day Emily moved back to town. Their story had started in Alison’s treehouse during a game of ‘Truth or Dare’.

Alison had watched Emily all throughout elementary school. She remembered the most intricate details about who she was as a child. The blonde had told her that much at the kissing rock. She pretended like she was too cool to pay attention, but she was _always_ watching Emily.

Emily had learned that Alison liked to take care of the people she loved. She hadn’t really thought much about it, but the blonde cared enough to know where she was in the early hours of the morning _and_ to know what she usually ate for breakfast. Alison knew everything about her. Almost.

Emily cringed when she thought about the secret she’d been carrying with her. She sighed and looked at Hanna.

“Look, Alison and I…we have a history. It’s not exactly linear in terms of how these things usually go. And I appreciate you looking out for me. I really do. But I know what I’m doing with her. I know what it looks like to you and everyone else. But I’m telling you that there is something more between us. It’s like…” Emily smiled as her heart fluttered. “It’s like…when you know you know.” She glanced at Caleb. “I mean, when did you decide that Caleb was the one? How did you know?”

Hanna cocked her head and pressed her lips together in thought. It was a fair question. She’d been with Caleb for years, so sometimes she forgot that they’d started out from scratch, too.

“Two days after we ran into each other at the police station we were flirting at _The Brew_. He asked me out on a date.” Hanna remembered how it had felt new and exciting. It had created a layer to their relationship that couldn’t be explained. Her mother had warned her not to jump into things too fast, but Hanna was headstrong and Caleb was in love. “Everyone said we’d be broken up after a month.”

“Exactly.” Emily nodded. “No one knows how these things go. There is no right or wrong. There is no timeline. Hearts and feelings are stupid and illogical. We don’t choose our feelings. Feelings just…happen. And the best you can do is ride them out.”

“I guess.” Hanna sighed. “Just…be careful.” She hesitated and then looked at the floor. “I don’t want to see you get your heart broken.”

It was sweet that Hanna was concerned, but it wasn’t her heart she was concerned about. It was Alison’s.

“I’ll be fine.” Emily smiled warmly at her friend.

Hanna smiled back. She looked at Caleb, and she felt guilty for judging Emily and Alison. Her boyfriend glanced across the cafeteria and waved at her. Hanna waved back. She faced Emily.

“Go get your girl.” It felt bitter for Hanna to say, but she wanted Emily to be happy.

Emily chuckled and waved to Hanna. She walked out of the cafeteria and shuffled down the hallway.

To her relief, she found the blonde near the back of the library sitting in the stacks. Her nose was red. She looked like she’d been crying. She was reading a Dickens novel.

“Hey.” Emily walked over and sat down next to her. She leaned in for a kiss. Alison gently pecked her lips, but pulled away. Something about the encounter felt off. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Well, you found me.” She ran her hand over the pages of the book. “Just like Pip found Estella.” She glanced at Emily, but then lowered her gaze again.

She was avoiding something. Emily could see it in her eyes. She _never_ passed up an opportunity for them to kiss.

Emily sighed. She gently reached up and closed the book. Alison lowered the novel, her eyes still focused on the cover. Emily moved her palm towards Alison’s face and put her fingers underneath Alison’s chin, raising it so she could look at her.

“Talk to me, Alison. Did I screw up at the gym earlier or…”

That got Alison’s attention. Because Emily was the only good thing in her life. The last thing she wanted was for Emily to think she did something wrong.

“No. Of course not.” Alison put the book down. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Is it Wilden?”

Alison’s icy glare answered for her.

“What was he doing in the classroom this morning? Why was he grabbing you like that?” Emily had a gut feeling. And that gut feeling was making her feel sick.

“He was…” Alison bit her lip. “He can be an asshole when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

“What he… _wants_?” The words slowly sank in. She could feel her pulse pounding in her ears. “Has he been hurting you?”

“No. Just…making suggestions about things…about how to keep from getting an ‘F’ in his class. He does it all the time. I just ignore him.”

“He was coming on to you?” Emily’s stomach tensed up. Her face felt flushed and hot. Her eyes burned in anger.

“It’s no big deal. Guys do it all the time.”

“It _is_ a big deal! He’s not just a _guy_ , Ali. He’s a grown man. AND he’s our teacher.” Emily could feel a boiling hot rage in her body. “Has he ever touched you?”

Alison didn’t answer at first. Emily could see that the conversation was making her uneasy, and it killed her to see it.

“No,” she said. “But he’s tried. He’s threatened to fail me. It’s why he gave me detention.”

Everything about the tension between them made sense now. The way Alison shut down around him. The way Wilden singled her out and harped on her. The way Alison recoiled when they were in the same room. He intimidated her. And that pissed Emily off.

Emily was going to kill him. She was going to staple his balls to the wall and break a desk over his head.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Emily saw a stray tear near her eyelash. She wiped it away.

“I was ashamed.”

It made Emily angry. Because Alison had nothing to be ashamed of. It was the grown ass man torturing kids that deserved to be shamed.

“I can hold my own for the most part.” Alison peered at Emily. She was right in front of her, but the brunette felt like she was worlds away. “I’ve got this town wrapped around my finger. I know how to come out on top when it comes to people like Cindy and Mindy. And Noel. They’re small game. But Wilden…” She shook her head. “How do I fix that? I fight and I fight, but he keeps coming at me. I’ve threatened him. I’ve blackmailed him. I’ve done everything I can possibly think of, but he just won’t stop. And before you came along I didn’t really have anyone to go to about this…”

“Ali…” Emily said softly as she reached up and touched her arm. Her eyes were teeming with sympathy.

“I wanted to tell people. But I have such a track record. I didn’t think anyone would believe me,” Alison’s voice cracked. Emily felt like something inside of her was breaking.

“I’ll always believe you.” Emily gently took her hand. Alison’s lips trembled as she wavered, trying not to cry at the gesture. “I’m always here to listen.”

Alison sighed and laid her head against Emily’s shoulder. She had the faint smell of chlorine in her hair. Alison closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose.

“You’re so nice to me.” She’d never had anyone that she felt so free opening up to. She’d never had a _real_ friendship before. Emily just _got_ her.

“I’m really not. I’m mean. I’m a mean little punk.” Emily laid her cheek against the top of Alison’s head.

“You lie.” Alison rolled her eyes. She moved her head away from Emily’s shoulder and looked up at her. “You want people to think you’re tough, but you’re really just a big softie.”

“Don’t tell anyone. It will ruin my street cred.”

Alison laughed through her tears. She reached up and wiped her face again. The motion made Emily’s heart hurt. That she was even shedding tears…it was hard to watch.

“You deserve so much better.” Emily cupped her cheek.

“I don’t.” Alison tore her gaze away from Emily’s. “It’s my fault. If I didn’t dress up or try to talk to adults like I’m on their level I wouldn’t get myself into these situations.”

“No…that isn’t…” Emily was so mad that she couldn’t see straight. The fact that Alison thought it was her fault was what was wrong with society. “That’s not how it works. You didn’t do _anything_ wrong.”

“I do though. My parents are right. I cause trouble. They’ll probably blame me for this. They always do.”

_To hell with your parents._

Emily had heard enough about her crappy parents. Alison deserved people in her life who cared. She wasn’t an angel, but she was still a human being with feelings. She deserved parents who loved her. She deserved _someone_ who loved her.

“I antagonize people. I go too far.” She sighed.

“That doesn’t give anyone the right to threaten you and violate you, _especially_ not a teacher.”

“If I had just kept my big mouth closed none of this would be happening.” Alison grumbled angrily.

“Alison, you’re not hearing me.” Emily cradled her jaw and tipped her chin up. “Hey, look at me.” Alison’s watery eyes found Emily’s line of sight. “You’re not the problem. It doesn’t matter what you think you did. Two wrongs don’t make a right. There is nothing you could have possibly done to deserve what he’s doing to you.”

Alison blinked, her eyelashes catching her tears. The look of heartbreak on her face opened up something inside of Emily that she couldn’t control. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She could feel a hot tension creeping up her spine, heating up the back of her neck.

She climbed to her feet, her anger at a boiling point. Alison stood next to her. She could see the fire in her eyes.

“What are you doing?” Alison looked uneasy.

Emily didn’t respond. She quietly walked out of the library and towards the cafeteria. She couldn’t do anything about her anonymous bully. But she could do something about Alison’s.

Alison raced after her. When they walked into the cafeteria Emily scanned the crowd until her eyes landed on the teacher’s table. She walked through all the students. Hanna saw them and waved.

“Hey, you found her…”

Emily walked by Hanna and over towards the teacher’s table. The teachers usually rotated their shifts to keep an eye on the lunchroom. Hanna hopped up behind her, curious about where she was going.

Mona watched the interaction carefully. She saw exactly who Emily was approaching. And she knew exactly what was happening.

“Hey, Wilden!” Emily exclaimed. He stood up when he saw her. “You think it’s okay to prey on young girls?”

“Excuse me?”

Two other teachers at the table climbed to their feet. One was Aria’s mom. Mike heard the commotion and looked up from the game he was playing. He glanced at Mona and saw a strange look on her face. He put his phone down and stood up.

“You may have blackmailed her into keeping your dirty little secret, but I’m not afraid of you.” Emily growled.

“Emily, maybe we should take this somewhere else.” Mrs. Montgomery suggested.

The confrontation was gaining a lot of attention. Several students had their phones out recording it. The principal was approaching. Mike was in front of him rushing towards his mom.

“An accusation like that could ruin someone’s career.” Wilden sneered.

“When the person is guilty they _deserve_ to be ruined.” Emily lunged for him.

Aria’s mom and another teacher grabbed Emily and held her back.

“Emily, settle down,” Mrs. Montgomery’s voice came out calm and soothing. She had such a caring nature. It was no wonder that her kids were so laid back. But it wasn’t enough to quell Emily’s rage.

Emily struggled against them. She easily could have taken them down to get to Wilden, but it wasn’t Aria’s mom and the other teacher who deserved her punches.

“You know what he’s doing? He’s _abusing_ students. He’s using his privilege and power to take advantage of people! He’s a fucking predator!”

A strange look washed across Mrs. Montgomery’s face. Emily felt her loosen her hold on her arm. Emily glanced at the older woman, trying to gauge whether it was shock or if she was disgusted at Wilden. They shared a look. Emily didn’t question it. She took a swing. It connected with the side of Wilden’s jaw.

He reacted instinctively, shoving her back. The motion made Emily fall back against a table. She bounced off of the table and came back at him. He reached out to grab her to try and restrain her.

“Touch her again. I dare you.” Alison pushed through crowd of growing spectators. She shoved Wilden away from her girlfriend with a sneer on her face.

He spun around to defend himself. His arm caught Mrs. Montgomery in her side. She stumbled back and huffed out a surprised gasp. She nearly tumbled to the floor, but her son steadied her.

“Mom, are you okay?” Mike grasped her arm.

“Ella, I’m so sorry.” Wilden reached out to her. “I…”

Mike faced Wilden and snarled at him, raring and ready to fight. Emily was surprised at how quickly he went from sweet dopey puppy Mike to snarling _Cujo_ Mike.

“Get away from her you freak.”

Two other teachers grabbed Mike before he could jump into the fight.

“That is _quite_ enough!” The principal bellowed angrily.

Emily held her hands up to show she wasn’t throwing anymore punches. Though she wanted to kick Wilden in the balls.

“You.” The principal pointed at Emily. “Come with me.”

“Wait!” Alison exclaimed. “Wait, it’s true. Everything she said is true. She was just trying to defend me. He came on to me…”

“That’s ludicrous.” Wilden rubbed his jaw. “I never…”

“She’s telling the truth.” A girl sitting two tables over stood up. “He’s done it to me, too.”

The cafeteria was dead silent. Everyone was staring at Wilden. A few seconds went by and three other girls stood up, proclaiming the same thing.

Another stunned period of silence.

Mona pushed her chair out and slowly rose to her feet. She glanced at Alison. There was a sense of understanding between them.

Alison nodded. Mona nodded back. The petite brunette glanced at Mike. It took a few seconds for it to register. His vision flashed red when he realized that Wilden had been victimizing Mona, too. He struggled against the teachers holding him back and tried to go at Wilden again.

“You fucking sicko.” Mike snapped. “I’ll _end_ you for this!”

“Mike, that’s enough.” His mom put her hand against his arm and squeezed it. It wasn’t a teacher talking to a student. It was a mother saying, _“I’ll tear off a switch and turn your ass black and blue unless you listen to me.”_ She didn’t want to see her son suspended. He stopped struggling and the teachers released him.

Mona slipped through the crowd. She walked over to Mike and he wrapped his arms around her. They both glared at Wilden.

Two more girls had stood up in the middle of the commotion. Emily recognized them from detention. Several other girls stood up.

“What kind of stunt is this?” The principal scoffed.

“Does _this_ look like a stunt to you?” A girl walked over to him with her phone. She practically shoved the device into his face.

Alison couldn’t see what was on the screen, but by the looks of the faces of the administrators she could see that it was _definite_ proof that Wilden was guilty. The principal walked over to him and uttered something that the student body couldn’t hear. He radioed for the school resource officer and then faced Emily. All eyes were on her.

* * *

Emily sat outside the principal’s office holding an ice pack against her knuckles. Alison was sitting next to her, still in disbelief. Several of the girls, including Mona had been giving their accounts of how Wilden had harassed them. The principal wanted to get the full story from others before he talked to Alison and Emily.

Mona walked out of the office. She nodded at the two of them as she left. Alison felt tremendous guilt for bullying Mona, especially now that she knew she was being harassed by Wilden at the same time. She started to apologize, but Mona was already gone.

The secretary went in to talk to the principal. Alison faced Emily.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For believing me. No one has ever believed me.”

She’d mentioned it to Cindy and Mindy their junior year and they’d played it off as cool, because he was a young good looking man. It had made Alison feel worse about herself. And she was starting to realize that she took it out on others. And that she coped in terribly unhealthy ways. It made her reckless and needy because it made her feel like less of a person. On top of that, she’d been confused and angry and had bottled everything up. She should have known it would only be a matter of time before she imploded. She was just glad that Emily was there for her when it happened.

“What you did for me back there…it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” She licked her lips. “I’m sorry I treated you like shit this morning.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Emily adjusted the ice pack. She had no regrets. Except that she hadn’t cracked Wilden’s skull open with a lunch tray. She saw the faraway look on Alison’s face. She gently touched her fingers. “How long has this been going on?”

“It started when I was fourteen. He used to hang out with my brother before he got his job at Rosewood. He was always leering at me, telling me how cool and mature I was. He said things that made me uncomfortable and tried to bribe me into doing things with him.”

“He should be in jail.” Emily started to grind her teeth. She hadn’t hit him hard enough. She should have hit him more. “I hope he rots behind bars. And if he doesn’t…I swear…”

“Easy, Killer.”

“This is why you lost it at the gym this morning, right? You were honing all your anger on him?” Emily asked.

Alison nodded.

“In case you hadn’t noticed…I do stupid things when I’m upset.” Alison rubbed her arm. “I know I’m an irrational headcase…”

“Hey, you’re not…”

“You’re sweet for saying that.” Alison smiled at her. “But I know I’ve got problems. Things happen…and I don’t know how to deal with them. And I take it out on other people. It’s not an excuse. I know I’ve done some really awful things. But I’m not blind to the fact that I act like a lunatic.”

It didn’t fix everything she’d done. It didn’t make things right. But it helped Emily understand her mood swings a lot better.

“Is this why you went out and got so drunk that night at the frat house? Were you upset about what he was doing?” Of course she would have been unsteady after that detention. Emily regretted that she hadn’t seen it sooner…that she hadn’t done something sooner.

“That.” Alison slowly lifted her head. “And I was…I _am_ …jealous…of Toby.”

“Ali…” Emily said softly, moving her uninjured hand up to sweep her fingers across the blonde’s cheek. “You have nothing to be jealous of.”

“I know. It’s stupid.” Alison frowned. “I know you just got here and we haven’t been together very long, but I feel like we’ve always been connected. Is that weird?”

Emily thought about the conversation she’d had with Hanna earlier. She knew from experience that when feelings were involved there was nothing so crazy it couldn’t be explained by love. She shook her head.

“Not at all.” She moved the ice pack away from her hand and flexed her fingers. Her joints were stiff and sore.

“I know it’s crazy, but…I just…I feel something for you I’ve never felt before. I feel like I spent all these years without you and now that I have you back, I don’t want to let go. I get antsy when I can’t talk to you. I’m kind of…possessive.”

“ _Kind of_?” Emily laughed.

“Well, I mean…can you blame me? Have you _seen_ you?” Alison winked at her.

“Every day in the mirror.” Emily reached out and put her bruised hand on top of Alison’s hand.

Alison grimaced when she saw the swelling in her knuckles. She flipped her hand over to meet Emily’s palm. Her thumb delicately brushed the scabs on her knuckles. They glanced at one another, and even though they were sitting in the principal’s office facing disciplinary action, all either one of them could think about was how much they wanted to kiss.

The office swung open.

“Alison.” The secretary waved her into the office.

Emily watched her go, the door closing behind her. Alison sat down in the chair across from the principal. The secretary stayed with them.

“Before you say anything I want you to understand that this is informal and completely voluntary. Several other students have come forward with complaints of harassment. And we’re going to look into it. We’re going to be opening up an investigation into these charges. Your parents will be notified and you’ll get the opportunity to come and speak with us again with their supervision after we’ve contacted the proper authorities. I just wanted you to be aware of our protocol,” the principal explained.

There was only one thing Alison cared about.

“What’s going to happen to Emily?”

“The school has a zero tolerance policy for violence…”

“Please don’t punish her. She was just trying to help me.” Alison could see that he was wavering on what to do. “What if I can get my parents to give a sizable donation to the school? I know you guys are having a budget problem.”

He sighed. Alison knew he couldn’t turn down the money.

“I _suppose_ given the circumstances…and the fact that Miss Fields was acting on your behalf we can consider a more lenient form of discipline.”

“And Wilden? What about him?”

“He has been escorted off campus and will remain off school grounds until a full investigation has taken place.”

That’s all Alison needed to hear. She told him that she would gladly talk to him again when the investigation started. He dismissed her and then brought Emily in.

Emily sat down, her hand still covered by the ice pack. It was the first thing he noticed.

“I’ve arranged for transportation to the hospital to get your hand x-rayed to make sure…”

“It’s just bruised. I don’t need X-rays.” Emily moved the ice off of her hand and flexed her fingers. The last thing she wanted was to go to the ER. Her parents were already going to freak out as it was. “Look, I just came to get my expulsion notice…”

“About that.” He held his hand up to stop her from talking. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told the other students. Due to the influx of accusations, we will be opening up an investigation to explore the allegations. We’ll be speaking with you with your parents present once the proper authorities have put together their case.”

“So…what exactly does that mean for me?”

“Given the nature of the incident, it can’t go unpunished. But due to the extenuating circumstances…and the fact that you were acting on behalf of another student I’ll be giving you a week of in school suspension in lieu of a traditional suspension.”

“That’s it?” Emily was surprised. She’d expected a lot worse.

“It seems as though you’ve made some very good friends your first few weeks here, Miss Fields.” That meant that Alison and Mona had both probably gone to bat for her. “We don’t believe in punishing the victims here at Rosewood High School. If these allegations are true we intend to stand behind our students.”

Emily listened as he went on about school pride and integrity. She wasn’t really listening, but she heard him when he dismissed her.

She couldn’t get out of there fast enough. She’d been dismissed from her classes for the rest of the day, so she decided to bail.

Her phone chimed from her pocket. She knew who it was without having to look at the ID. She could always feel the shift in the universe when her parents were mad at her. She didn’t want to answer. She couldn’t deal with any disappointed adults right now.

As she was on her way out a pair of hands reached out from the inside of a supply closet and grabbed her and pulled her into the tiny room.

Her initial reaction was to throw a punch since she had a stalker after her and she didn’t know who had grabbed her, but then she looked up and saw Alison staring back at her as she closed the closet door.

Alison pushed Emily against the wall and gave her a forceful kiss. She pushed her body firmly against Emily’s. Emily relaxed into the kiss. She laid her uninjured hand against Alison’s hip. Alison pulled back and put her palm against Emily’s neck.

“What was that for?” Emily grinned.

“For being you.” Alison played with her hair.

“Hmm, I should be me more often.” Emily chuckled. She pressed her fingers into Alison’s ribcage, making her giggle. “Whose palms did you grease to get me in-school-suspension instead of expelled?”

“No one messes with my girl.” Alison smiled wryly.

Emily made a funny face. They hadn’t really officially declared themselves anything. They’d done a lot of kissing and making out, but they hadn’t labeled themselves, though it was clear from Hanna’s observations that people already knew. She wasn’t sure if it was just one of those things that became official on its own.

“Your _girl_ , huh?” She liked the sound of it.

Alison cheeks flushed.

“I mean, yeah, like whatever…if you’re cool with it.” She tried to play it cool, but she sounded like a bumbling schmuck and she knew it. Emily thought it was adorable.

“You’re such a romantic.” Emily teased.

“Is that a yes or what?”

“Sure. I’ll tell all my side chicks that we’re exclusive now.”

“You’re such an ass.” Alison laughed.

“Your ass exclusively.” Emily grinned. Her expression softened. “I know this happened fast. We’re doing it kind of backwards. But I’m all in if you are.”

“Oh. That sounds hot.” Alison lifted her brows mischievously.

“I’ll show you hot.” Emily spun Alison around and backed her against the wall.

Emily put her hand up against the wall by Alison’s face. Alison glanced over at her toned muscular arm and then turned back to face Emily just in time for their lips to crash together again. The adrenaline from what had happened in the cafeteria was making both of their hearts thrum faster and harder.

Emily was a wildly good kisser. And she knew it. She grinned into it. It only made Alison hotter for her. Alison felt Emily’s thigh in between her legs and she gasped into their kiss. Emily pulled back to make sure she hadn’t pushed too much too fast.

Alison grabbed her shirt collar and knotted her fingers into the fabric. She pulled Emily close again, their lips automatically finding one another. Alison slipped her free hand underneath Emily’s shirt, running her fingers over her taut muscles. She felt Emily’s body twitch in response and she smiled into their kiss.

Alison’s touch drove Emily wild. She pushed harder into the kiss and firmly gripped Alison’s hips. Alison gently bucked her pelvis forward, trying to get some friction going between them. She lifted her leg and pushed her thigh in between Emily’s legs. She hit just the right spot.

Emily felt a wave of pleasure and it opened up a primal response in her body. She groaned against Alison’s lips and lifted Alison off of the ground, forcing Alison to wrap her legs around her and rip her hand out of Emily’s shirt to grasp the back of her neck for support.

Emily twirled her around, knocking supplies to the ground as she moved Alison over to a stack of boxes filled with cleaning supplies. Alison kept her legs coiled around Emily’s body, their pelvises flush.

Emily touched Alison’s cheek delicately as their lips smacked together. She was controlling, but at the same time she was very gentle. Alison had learned that Emily knew exactly how and when to touch her. Both of them were grunting softly, but neither one of them realized it, because they were so caught up in the moment.

Alison grasped the collar of Emily’s shirt again to pull her closer to deepen the kiss. She slowly moved her other hand down to the button of her pants.

Emily reached down to encourage her to keep going, but in her frenzied excitement she lifted her head too quickly and bashed her skull against an overhanging shelf. She ducked down and uttered a string of profanities. She wanted to keep going, but then the overwhelming scent of lemon pledge and bleach hit her nose. And she remembered where they were.

“Oof.” Alison reached up to touch her head with a soft laugh. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Emily flinched. “We should probably quit while we’re ahead.”

She smiled as Alison rubbed the forming knot on her skull. When they pulled away they were both smiling. Alison gently let go of Emily’s shirt and moved to stand up. Emily thumbed away the streak of smeared lipstick on Alison’s face. Alison pecked her lips with a smile.

She reached into her pocket to pull out her phone.

“Oh, check this out.” She pulled an app up on her phone. “You’re already a meme.”

She hit ‘play’ on a video clip of Emily punching Wilden. Someone had looped the punch and edited it to play in sync with the first few notes of “Eye of the Tiger” and they’d added a girlish scream to coincide with Wilden’s shocked gasp.

“That will look great on my future job applications.” Emily uttered sarcastically.

“Who doesn’t want to hire someone who stands up for what’s right? You’re a hero. A real life hero. _My_ girl is a real life hero.” Alison looked at the phone and watched the replay. “You’re a legend.”

Emily’s phone jingled from inside her pocket. Someone else had undoubtedly heard about her boxing day in the cafeteria.

“I’m a dead girl walking.” She cringed. “That’s my parents.” Emily looked at her phone. She didn’t have to see their faces to know they were pissed. Moving out of the house was looking better and better to her each day. “I really should get home.”

Alison nodded in understanding.

“Call me.”

Emily gave her another kiss and then slipped out of the closet. She hurried out to the parking lot and hopped on her bike, ready to go home and face the music. Her phone had been going off non-stop since the viral video of her had blown up. She was getting messages from everyone in town, as well as from her old friends in Texas who had seen it on the app. But there was only one person she cared to hear from. It was the first message in her inbox.

**_Damn, Million Dollar Baby. This is what you do for fun now? Really makes me nostalgic for our burgers and shakes days. Hope you’re icing that hand._ **

She smiled when she saw the number. She scrolled through a few replies from her old town, silently cursing herself for not changing her number. Most of the messages were supporting her.

She had one from Nick that almost made her trip because she was laughing so hard when she read it.

**_Glad you’re showing ‘em who’s boss in Steeler country. Can I have that same energy when they face off with the Giants? We should catch a game sometime, Fields._ **

It was too tempting to not reply. So she shot a message back to him,

**_Why would I want to watch two loser teams? Long live the Cowboys._ **

He’d responded with about a dozen laughing emojis and told her never to change. Nick had always been nice to her. If it wasn’t for Courtney they probably would have been better friends, though other than bikes and sports they didn’t have much in common. Nick was into computers and engineering. And she was into swimming and nature. They’d always gotten along though, despite Courtney’s disdain.

Emily scrolled through her other messages. She had several other messages below Nick’s from people she barely remembered.

The worst message she got was from the troll who had been harassing her.

**_We both know that’s not the worst thing you’ve done this year. Keep making enemies and see where it gets you. You think I’m your worst nightmare now? Wait until I have allies. The enemy of my enemy is my friend._ **

Emily had no idea who the person on the other end of the phone was, but it was clearly some dramatic bitch.

Looking through her messages sent her mentally spiraling, if for no other reason than the fact that she was becoming a sideshow in this town when she’d left Texas to avoid the exact same thing. She hadn’t meant to make it into a public spectacle.

She took the scenic route home on her bike. She needed to breathe in the crisp fall air before facing the wrath of her mom and dad. The ride calmed her.

When she got home she went in to see her parents, knowing they were going to make her feel terrible for her actions. Her mom and her dad had left work early and they were waiting for her. Their faces were brimming with anger.

“You _hit_ a teacher?” Her dad’s cheeks were a shade of red she’d never seen before.

“He was taking advantage of his students. I was just trying to stand up for them. You protect us. Why can’t I protect my friends?”

“Because it’s not the same!” Her dad exclaimed. “You can’t do reckless things like this. Not with everything you…” He huffed, pressing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “It’s been three weeks, Emily. _Three weeks_. And you’re already finding trouble…”

“I know, okay? I’m a screw up.” She looked at her mother, who had said that more than once. “It’s what I do.”

“Don’t take that tone with us.” Pam sniped. “I never said you were a screw up. I just said you do things that are screwed up. I’m just trying to understand why you’re like this. What happened to my sweet innocent little girl?”

“She grew up.” Emily stared at her parents. “Because she _had_ to.” She lifted her hands in a gesture of surrender and sighed. “I know that I screwed things up. I know that this is my fault. And I’m not saying what I did was right. But he was _hurting_ people.”

“Emily, sweetheart, you have to start thinking about _yourself_.” Her mom put her hand on Emily’s shoulder.

Something about her touch soothed her. How did mothers do that? How could they make their children feel both guilty and comforted at the same time? She’d had a rocky road with her mother the past few months, but she was still her mother. That would never change. She plopped down on the couch.

“Your actions don’t just affect you,” her father said calmly. “Our job as parents is to make sure our children are our first priority. You understand that, right?”

“I do.”

“Your mother and I want you to understand that we’re only trying to do what’s best for you.”

“I know.”

There was a beat of silence. The anger tapered down.

“What happened?” Her mom sat next to her.

Emily did her best to explain the situation. She didn’t expect her parents to be understanding, but they seemed to accept her version of things. She’d given them a lot of reasons not to trust her. But this was something they knew she was telling the truth about. Wayne didn’t outright praise Emily for coming to Alison’s defense. But he didn’t criticize her for it either.

“I’d like to have a word with this guy, man-o-e-fist-o.” He boasted angrily.

“Wayne.” Pam scowled at him. She faced her daughter. “Do Alison’s parents know about this?”

“The way she tells it they probably won’t care.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Wayne frowned.

“You clearly don’t remember Jessica DiLaurentis and her family.” Pam uttered under her breath.

Something about her tone irked Emily. It’s like her mother was taking a shot at Alison, too. But she didn’t have the luxury of telling her mother to shove it. At least her mom was listening to her. She couldn’t imagine Alison’s parents not caring. She couldn’t fathom being a mother and not caring about her child.

She knew she was fortunate to have parents who _wanted_ to talk to her. They didn’t always want to hear what she had to say, but at least they tried.

They spent the afternoon talking. She helped her mother make dinner. They sat down and ate together for the first night in a long time. Oddly, her actions had united them, at least for a short period of time.

After dinner Emily texted Alison to check on her.

**_Hope your parents weren’t too hard on you._ **

Alison had been waiting for her text for hours, so she was ready with her reply. She didn’t want to seem too eager, but she just couldn’t wait to get back to her.

**_They’re not even home yet. How about you?_ **

**_They made me talk about my feelings._ **

**_Ugh. Gross._** It was followed by a green emoji making a barfing face.

**_You doing okay?_ **

**_Yeah. Can you sneak off for a little bit?_ **

**_Be right over._ **

Emily slipped out the back door. She was already in a mess of trouble, but she didn’t care. After everything that had happened she realized that secrets only hurt people. Alison had told her at school that the reason she didn’t tell her about Wilden was because she was ashamed.

She understood that feeling of doubt and embarrassment, and how the fear of judgment could force someone to stay silent. Her situation wasn’t the same. But she had still been lying for all of the same reasons that Alison had kept her secret. And Emily didn’t like keeping things from her. They were getting closer. She could feel it. But Alison didn’t know what she was signing on for. And Emily didn’t want her to find out from some anonymous message. She didn’t want Alison to know about the threats. She wanted to protect her. But there was one thing she couldn’t hide from her.

She was almost at Alison’s front door when she heard someone whisper her name. She looked over towards the base of the large tree where Alison’s treehouse still stood. Alison was peering out from behind the tree motioning for her.

“What are you doing?” Emily laughed as she walked over to her.

“I’ve got a surprise for you. Come up with me.” Alison looked up at the sturdy structure above them.

“Seriously?”

“I know you think you’re some little badass with your motorcycle and your little underground fight club, but it’s not as baby-ish as it sounds. Come on.” Alison grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards the wooden steps leading up the tree.

Emily followed her up. She wasn’t going to complain about the view. She liked looking up and seeing Alison’s ass.

She’d worn a skirt on purpose, and Emily knew it.

When they got to the top, Alison climbed over the edge and then turned around and helped Emily up.

It had held up remarkably well. But it’s not like it was a regular treehouse to begin with. It was mapped out like a studio apartment. No expense had been spared.

It looked a lot smaller than it had when they were kids. Alison had a little cot with sleeping bags set up and two small lanterns on the floor. She had a few little decorations strewn about and a basket with snacks off to the side.

Alison plopped down on the cot she’d made. She pat the sleeping bag, inviting Emily to sit next to her. Emily sidled in next to her.

“Autumn is your thing.” Alison reached for the lantern next to the cot. She turned it off. She reached for the second lantern and turned it off, too. “This is my thing.”

She looked up. It took Emily’s eyes a second to adjust, but she could see because of the ambient light in the sky. There was a small window cut out that gave them just enough room to see the stars.

“Come here.” Alison pulled her to lie on the sleeping bag.

Emily laid next to her, their arms side by side. She stared at the blanket of night above them, the stars burning bright in the distance. It was like being at a planetarium.

“I used to come out here when I was little and I would find a star and I would wish for the best life in the world.” Alison stared at the twinkling lights above them. “I honestly thought I had it all.” She slowly faced Emily. In the darkness all Emily could see was the reflection of the stars in her eyes. “And then I met you.”

Emily rolled up on her elbow to meet her gaze. She could barely see her in the moonlight, but she could make out the sparkle in her eyes.

“What you did for me today…no one has ever stood up for me like that.” She grazed Emily’s arms with her fingertips. “You’re something special, Emily Fields.”

And then, in the darkness, Alison’s lips were against hers. She felt Alison’s hand on her side, underneath her shirt. Emily kissed her back. She hadn’t felt like this in years. What she’d had in Texas hadn’t been anything like this.

That stopped Emily dead in her tracks.

 _Texas_.

The truth. She’d come out here to tell Alison the truth. She pulled back from their kiss. She could still feel Alison breathing against her face. Emily tried to talk through all of her panting.

“You said something at the gym this morning…”

“I was a jerk.” Alison cut her off.

“No. You were right…”

Alison didn’t let her finish talking. She captured her lips again and moved her hand down against Emily’s hip. Her fingers slowly inched closer to her inner thigh. Emily could feel Alison’s index finger rubbing against the crease in her jeans. Normally, she could hold it together, but her hormones were out of control.

So she got lost. She got lost in the taste that was her girlfriend. She moved with Alison’s motions. She slipped her hand up underneath Alison’s shirt and trailed her fingers across her taut little stomach. Alison reached up and encouraged her to go higher.

Then she reached down where Emily’s other hand was resting against her thigh and moved it up underneath her skirt. She pressed a hard kiss against her lips and waited for Emily’s fingers to end up where she _really_ wanted them.

Alison’s thigh was hot underneath Emily’s touch. She could feel the blonde’s body automatically reacting to her. Emily pressed a soft kiss against her lips and slowed her motions. Alison didn’t slow down at all. She whispered and blew seductively into Emily’s ear. She increased the pressure in between Emily’s legs. Emily bit her lip and groaned.

She could barely think straight with Alison rubbing against her. She wanted Alison to keep going. _She_ wanted to keep going.

But things were going insanely fast. And Emily knew she had to come clean before they could truly go “all in” like they wanted to.

Alison had been asking about Texas for weeks now. Emily had been avoiding the truth, because she’d really been enjoying her time with her. She wasn’t sure the blonde would want to stay with her when she found out the truth. But she owed it to her.

“Ali…” Emily whispered.

“Hmm?” Alison continued her ministrations, making Emily lean her head back and huff out a shuddering breath.

Emily reached down and gently put her hand against Alison’s wrist, because if she didn’t stop her she knew she wouldn’t be able to control what happened next. She knew she had to tell her before they got too far.

“I’m pregnant.”

* * *

**A/N:** _*cue the “wait, what?” comments*. The ending to this chapter is an easy target to generate hate (I think? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being extra sensitive because I’m not in the greatest headspace these days). I ask that you do me a favor and refrain from screaming at me until after you hear the whole story. The next chapter will give you a much better picture of where I’m taking this fic. It’s not what you’re thinking._

_TL;DR: Yes, Emily is gay. No, this is not a fluffy pregnancy fic. Yes, this shit is wild AF. Yes, we have angst, secrets, and my version of “A”. Next chapter explains ALL THE THINGS. Let the theories commence._

_Above all, remember this is fetus (literally?) Emison and they are young and idealistic and they’ll do things that might grate the nerves…cuz what are our teenage years for if not for tripping over ourselves and doing things that make our older selves facepalm hard._


	7. Canvas of Life

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

**Canvas of Life**

Alison moved back, falling away from her in surprise. She could hear Emily breathing heavily, but she wasn’t sure if it was from their heated encounter or if it was nerves.

_Pregnant?_

Alison reached for the lantern. She turned it on, letting the light illuminate the treehouse. The tone of the light projected a glow on Emily’s face that made her every feature more distinguished.

Her lips were parted and swollen from their kisses. Her cheeks had a natural bronze tone with a red undertone. Her eyes were dark and emitted a quiet sensitivity. Her every expression…her every movement was fixed. She had a look of timidity on her face that Alison didn’t recognize. It was a wall that Alison had never seen come down before.

Alison stared at her in shock. Emily was waiting for the look of dread, but it never surfaced. She watched as Alison’s mouth opened and then closed as she tried to process it. Then something washed across her face. But it wasn’t the look that Emily was expecting. It wasn’t disgust or contempt or pity. It was curiosity.

“Okay, I’m good, but I’m not _that_ good.” She was surprised, but it didn’t turn her off.

Emily wasn’t sure what to say. She assumed she’d be in such a hurry to get away that she’d jump out of the treehouse and hit the ground running. Not that being pregnant was some terrible disease, but what high school senior was going to want to get bogged down with someone who was going to have a baby? Life started _after_ high school. Who needed added responsibilities?

“You’re pregnant?” Alison tried to comprehend it.

“I am.”

“Really?”

Emily didn’t act pregnant. She rode a motorcycle and threw punches into large bags of weights and jumped across tall ravines and fought creepy teachers.

“Yeah.” Did she need to go get the pregnancy tests she still had tucked away in her memory box? She’d taken six of them. When she took the first one she thought for sure it had to be mistake.

“So…um…” Alison shifted up on her legs and moved towards Emily again. “Can I ask how?” She realized it sounded stupid the second she said it. “I mean I know _how_ , but…like… _you_ specifically. Because I haven’t seen you so much as look at a guy since you moved here. I didn’t think you were in to them…”

“I’m not.” Emily tried to figure out how to explain it. She sighed. “It’s complicated.” She ran her palm over her stomach. “It’s my ex-boyfriend’s. His name is Isaac.”

“Boyfriend?” Alison asked in confusion. “So you’re bi?”

“No. He’s the only guy I’ve ever…” She stuttered, “…we were…”

She wasn’t sure what she’d been doing with him. Hiding, mostly. She just felt pressured to do everything the _normal_ way. Getting knocked up hadn’t been part of the plan.

“Was he like…an experiment?” Alison questioned.

“I don’t know what Isaac and I were. I liked him…”

“Clearly.” Alison glanced at her stomach. She never would have guessed she was carrying a baby.

“Yeah, but I never really _felt_ it. If that makes sense. We kind of…we were pushed together. It was just expected of us. I was the captain of the swim team. He was the quarterback of the football team. It was like some terrible country song.” She glanced down and laughed.

Alison loved seeing her open up. She loved seeing her layers. She had been hiding so much of herself. Alison felt like she was finally seeing every part of her. Emily looked up at her with a smile and Alison automatically smiled back. She loved her smile. And her laugh. Her laugh was like music to her ears.

“Did he have a pick-up truck and live by the ole train tracks?” Alison tried to mimic a southern accent, but it came out half-British for some reason.

They both lowered their heads and chuckled. Emily took a moment to be thankful for the fact that Alison hadn’t run away.

“No, but he does have religious parents and a sister that’s the actual devil.” She grimaced. “She got off on torturing everyone at school. She held my head underwater after swim practice once.”

“I will destroy her.” Alison growled angrily.

“I took care of it,” Emily said with a shrug. That altercation at the pool where she’d taken Courtney down had changed the dynamics of their relationship. “She was a product of her upbringing. I don’t know how Isaac turned out so sweet. His parents made mine look like saints in comparison.”

“What about him? What does he have to say about this?” If he knocked her up and abandoned her Alison was going to show up on his doorstep and punch him in the face.

“He doesn’t know.”

It wasn’t the answer Alison expected. Emily certainly didn’t seem dishonest. She didn’t hold back. And this was something pretty huge to try and hide. Then again, maybe there was a reason she hadn’t told him.

“He doesn’t know any of it. He doesn’t even know I’m gay. I could never come out to him. I didn’t want to break his heart. I told you at the kissing rock that I did something shitty before I left Texas. It’s Isaac. He’s the one I lied to…the one I screwed over. I mean, I didn’t lie to his face about anything, but a lie by omission is still a lie. We broke up before I left. But I didn’t tell him the truth about myself or about the baby.”

_The baby._

It still didn’t sound real. Those words coming out of Emily’s mouth were so surreal.

“How far along are you?”

“Twelve weeks.”

_Three months._

How did she not _look_ pregnant? How was she not showing yet? Was it because of all the hiking and swimming and exercise that she did? Or was she just going to be one of those naturally beautiful pregnant women who barely gained a pound?

“I think.” Emily thought about it. “I don’t know exactly. I’m just going off of the last time I had my period. I haven’t had an ultrasound yet.”

“Oh, so…are you sure…”

“I took like twenty tests. And I had a urine sample done to confirm it at the free clinic in Texas.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Not if his parents get their way.” Emily leaned back, balancing on her palms. “They’re real strict religious types. And they were not very happy when they found out we slept together.”

Alison grimaced at the thought of it. She didn’t like the idea of anyone touching Emily. She felt like a child with a toy. She coveted her in a weird way.

“I know this is a lot. It’s hard to explain.” She glanced towards the ceiling. It looked like her thoughts were swirling around in her head. She looked into Alison’s eyes. “How did your parents react when you came out?”

“Poorly,” Alison said. “But that might be because I paraded a girl around my living room half naked and talked about her nipple piercings. It was the only way I could get their attention.”

Emily shook her head with a laugh. Only Alison DiLaurentis could make a show like that out of coming out.

“But they were okay with who you are?”

“They’re more obsessed with their money than their children. They don’t care who I date as long as I don’t sully the family bank account.” She turned her lips up in a sneer.

“Parents are complicated,” Emily said. She looked out the tiny window overlooking the neighborhood. She could see the lights from her house. “I’ve always been sure of who I am. But before I came out…I didn’t know how to _be_ who I am. Not in my family. My parents have had all these expectations of me since I was young. They put _so_ much pressure on me. My mom pushed so hard for me to be perfect and _normal_. She doesn’t like anything outside of her little box. And in her mind, the law of the land is the word of God. I can’t tell you how many times I heard snide remarks about gay people when I was growing up. Made it kind of difficult to be myself.”

“I had no idea,” Alison said softly. Emily’s parents seemed so nice. “I’m sorry.” She put her hand on Emily’s knee. She’d never really experienced that. Because everyone was afraid of her, so no one had ever dared to say anything about her sexuality without retaliation.

“Isaac made me seem normal enough. And my parents liked him because he was a nice churchgoing boy. And he was a great friend, so when he asked me out I thought it might work somehow. I thought it would keep my parents in the dark.”

“He was your beard.” Alison connected the dots.

Emily nodded.

“Yeah. I was sneaking around with girls before we started dating. And I was still looking at them even when we were together, which made me feel like crap. Because he was a really sweet guy.”

“I have a hard time believing that the quarterback wasn’t even a _little_ full of himself.” Alison frowned.

“He wasn’t always a jock. That’s not even how we met. We actually met at Bible camp when we were in eighth grade. We were on this ski trip. He wanted to stick to the bunny slopes because he thought I couldn’t handle the real thing. But he didn’t know that I’d been on skis the second I could walk. My mom’s family lives in Aspen.”

“Girls are so much tougher than boys.” Alison scoffed.

“They are.” Emily grinned. “He admitted to me after the fact that he wasn’t really worried about me. He was scared to tackle the real slopes.”

Alison let out a boisterous laugh when she pictured Emily guiding the poor helpless boy down the big bad snow covered hill.

“He was my best friend for a while. Until eighth grade ended. He spent the summer with a bunch of guys he’d formed a band with.”

“Typical.” Alison rolled her eyes. If she had the choice between Emily and a guitar, she’d choose Emily every time.

“He was friendly enough in school. He flirted with me sometimes, but he still had this shy-guy demeanor even though the girls were all over him. He wasn’t interested in them though. But I couldn’t really see that he liked me. I was really into my swimming. And girls.” Maya in particular. “Of course, no one knew that part.” She blew a messy stray hair out of her face. “My girlfriend Maya was caught with drugs halfway into our sophomore year. Her parents sent her away to some program for troubled kids. It was a really stressful time. It happened two days after we’d been drugged at that college party. Isaac was there. He and my friend Nick beat the shit out of the boys who drugged us.”

“Good.” Alison huffed.

“It was like one hit after another. First that night happened. Then I lost Maya. I was devastated. But no one knew, because I couldn’t tell anyone why it hurt so much. Isaac saw me in the hallway one day…and he could tell I was struggling. He asked me if I wanted to get something to eat and catch up. I didn’t tell him about me and Maya. I just told him I was having a hard time. So he took me out to get a burger and a milkshake to try and cheer me up.”

“He sounds like a good guy.” It tasted like poison to say it.

“He was a really good friend. He didn’t officially ask me out until the winter of our junior year. And I said yes, because I was feeling all this pressure from my friends. They wouldn’t shut up about trying to fix me up with some of these really gross guys. I figured…Isaac was safe. And he was. He was always a gentleman.”

He was the kind of boy who opened doors and pulled out chairs and always said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. He didn’t let his status as a sports star go to his head. He’d always been very grounded and humble. Emily had always liked being around him. He was such a good friend to have. But it was complicated because of his sister and their parents.

“His parents didn’t really like me. They assumed all girls wanted to corrupt their perfect son. Sometimes I think I should have come out to them. They wouldn’t have liked me, but at least they would have trusted me. And they probably would have wanted me around so they didn’t have to worry about the other girls vying for his affection and getting him into trouble. But…well…”

She looked down at her stomach. Out of all the girls in their high school, the _one_ girl who wasn’t interested in sex with him had not only _had_ sex with him, but had gotten pregnant.

“We were dating and everything was going really well. He’d taken this abstinence vow in church, so we never did anything that wasn’t PG.”

Alison tried not to cringe in discomfort. The image of Emily letting some boy feel her up made her want to gag. But then she saw the look on Emily’s face…and she realized it was just as uncomfortable for her. And it made Alison feel something she’d never really felt before. Sympathy.

“When we kissed it was…” Emily’s face tightened in thought. “It wasn’t what it was when I was with my girlfriends. I didn’t feel the same. I was anxious. And it felt wrong. But I felt like I had to, because I was afraid if I didn’t he would break up with me. And that people would find out about me. So, I traded my comfort for my privacy. Because I knew he didn’t want to sleep with me.”

Isaac had always told her they would go at her pace. He wanted her to be comfortable. He’d never known she was uncomfortable the whole time.

“After a while he started asking me about doing more. The spring before senior year things changed for him. He didn’t care about the vow anymore. Because all of his friends were shacking up with their girlfriends. And he didn’t understand why we weren’t doing it.”

“Did he push you to do something you didn’t want to do?” Alison’s eyes widened. She was thinking murderous thoughts. Because if he’d hurt her…

“No.” The mere suggestion made her recoil. “No, not at all. I mean…I felt pressure, but not from him. He just asked. He never pushed. It was everyone else. All of his friends were having sex and it’s all he ever heard about in the locker room. And his hormones were just…whack. And the longer I waited the more we started to feel distant. And I was afraid of that distance. So…I told him I wanted to. And we did. I didn’t want to, but I did anyway. For the wrong reasons. I was afraid I was going to lose him. And I didn’t need a reason for people to look at me. I didn’t need my _parents_ to look at me, and _see_ me.”

She looked back and sometimes she felt ashamed that she hadn’t been able to just tell people the truth.

“Was he your first?” Alison asked curiously.

“No. But I was _his_ first.”

That somehow made him feel like less of a threat, and less of a douchebag, especially considering he’d waited for so long before they’d actually done anything.

“Do you regret it?” She glanced down at Emily’s belly and she suddenly realized what that sounded like, “Oh, God…I didn’t mean _it_ like…the baby. I meant…do you regret what you had with Isaac?”

“No. Because even though we weren’t supposed to be together, he was still my best friend. I actually feel really bad. Because I led him on. I knew that I’d never feel the way he felt. But I was too scared to tell him. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. And I knew that if he found out it would break his heart that I didn’t love him…not the way he wanted to be loved.”

“But you did love him?”

“I think so. Yeah. But it’s not the same as being in love. I loved him like…like a best friend. Or like you love someone in a non-romantic way. I don’t really…I’m still trying to come to terms with that part of my life. Sexuality is hard, you know? We’re expected to be one thing and we’re another, and when you’re not sure how to be yourself you just kind of go along with the masses. But I mean…I knew I was gay. I was just scared to admit it out loud. Because then everything would change.”

“Have you ever been attracted to guys at all?”

“No. Even with him, it wasn’t about attraction. I could see he was good looking. I have eyes. I recognize and appreciate what ‘hot’ is. But it doesn’t turn me on. Boys don’t make me feel that way. I could look at guys and their abs all day and…nothing. It’s like…admiring a work of art. You appreciate it for what it is, but it means something different for everyone. My brain knows they look good, but my body doesn’t care.” She shrugged. “But show me a feisty outspoken blonde with killer dimples…” She grinned and reached for Alison’s fingers. “I see hot women and it’s all I can think about. I have this desire to hold you…” She pulled Alison into her embrace, “…to kiss you…” She swept her lips over Alison’s. The blonde responded in kind. “It’s a feeling, you know? I only feel the way I feel when I’m with girls.”

Alison fell into her embrace naturally. She loved feeling her so close. She was drawn to her in a way that a moth was drawn to a flame. Her desires ran deeper than anything she’d ever felt before.

“What about you?” Emily asked. “What do you like?”

“You.” Alison didn’t hesitate in her response. Her answer made Emily smile. The brunette poked her in the ribs and Alison squealed in laughter. “I mean it,” she said. “No one makes me feel like you do.”

“No one, huh?”

“I’ve been with guys and girls. I fall for who I fall for. I was with a trans girl for a while. She was great. But she wasn’t as into me, which…she had to have been blind not to want _this_.” Alison rubbed her hands across her body suggestively.

“Or maybe your charming personality was too much for her.” Emily gave her a hard time.

Alison’s jaw dropped.

“Emily Violet Fields, how dare you!”

“Not my middle name.”

“It is now. You fought so damn hard for the word violet.” She played with Emily’s hair. “It’s part of you now.”

“There is a lot more that is part of me than my hair color. This hair dye isn’t permanent. A child is.”

Alison saw Emily’s throat bob as she swallowed a nervous breath.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I still haven’t wrapped my head around it.” She puffed out a sigh. “I have a _baby_ in me. And everything is changing so fast. And I want to talk to Isaac…to tell him. I know keeping this from him is not right. I know he deserves to know. But his mother found out before I got a chance to talk to him. And she pretty much banished me from his life. His dad offered to pay me to keep quiet…”

“What a jackass.” Alison seethed.

“I took the money.” If Isaac’s father was a jackass for offering, Emily was a jackass for accepting his offer.

“What?” Her eyes brightened in surprise.

“I’m going to need it, Ali. I’m saving up for my own place. And…I mean, there are a lot of expenses…”

“Your parents aren’t going to help you?”

“They’ve helped with a lot of stuff, but we’re not rich. We get by, but that’s it. Part of this move…downsizing…it was for me. And partly because my dad was antsy with the idea of staying in San Antonio. He gets impulsive when he doesn’t know what to do, so he talked to his boss about relocating. When he said we were moving I didn’t argue, because I thought it might be a good idea to get out of town, especially since there was no other way for me to hide this from Isaac. He was my best friend before all of this happened. There was no other way I could stay away.”

“Do your parents know about the money Isaac’s dad gave you?”

“No.” Emily looked troubled. “They already look at me like I’m some kind of abomination. I didn’t want to give them another reason to hate me.”

“Em…” Alison said softly. She touched her hand. “No one could ever hate you.”

“You don’t know my mom,” Emily scoffed. “She looks at me now like I’m such a disappointment. I don’t know if things will ever be okay between us again.”

“Wait, all this talk about getting a place to live…” Alison pinched her forehead in concern. “Are they kicking you out?”

“No. But they’ve been all over me about how I’m going to support myself. We’ve had a conversation about me doing this on my own, financially at least. They want to be involved. They said they want to help, but they want me to find my own footing. And it’s not like that wasn’t where I was heading anyway. My dad is military. And as much as he loves me, he and my mom agree that once I graduate I have to find my own way.”

The idea of her parents tossing her out on her own to deal with something so huge didn’t sit right with Alison.

“Even with the baby?”

“ _Especially_ with the baby,” she sighed.

“Are you going to keep it?”

“I don’t know yet. But I know I need to get set up somewhere regardless. I’ve kind of been dragging my heels, because it’s still so early. I haven’t told anyone yet, because I’ve been reading up _a lot_ about it.” Which had been a terrible idea. Because there were some terrifying statistics out there. “There is just…so much that can go wrong. And it’s overwhelming. Did you know that something like…half of pregnancies end in miscarriages? The statistics vary. I don’t like to think about the possibility, but it could happen.”

“Have you…” Alison stopped, treading carefully. “I mean, have you looked at other options?”

“You mean abortion?” She knew what Alison was getting at. “I’ve looked at it. But I don’t know. I really don’t know what’s right for me. I’m still figuring it out.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel uncomfortable or put any pressure on you…”

“Trust me, it’s not like I haven’t been researching _everything_. I thought about it in the beginning.”

That had been such an isolating time. Because no one knew. And she’d been struggling with what she wanted to do. She knew her parents would not approve of an abortion.

“I had so much going on in my head.” She still did, but it had settled some since she’d reconnected with Alison. “The ups and downs…they were really hard. And it didn’t help that my hormones were all over the place.”

“That must have been so hard.” Alison stroked her arm.

She could feel the tension in Emily’s stance. And all she wanted to do was kiss her and make her feel better. But she knew this was something that kissing couldn’t fix. She needed to be there for her…like Emily had been there for her with Wilden. So she held her hand and she let her talk.

“I went to Planned Parenthood. I just wanted to talk to someone about my options.” Her face stiffened. Alison could see the tight outline of her jaw. “There was this group of people shouting at everyone who walked in, spitting on people. I got called a sinner and a killer and a whore and had fake blood slung on me. Just for going there to talk to someone. It was really fucked up.”

Hearing it made Alison so mad that she felt like screaming. She wanted to wrap her arms around Emily and protect her from the world.

“God, I hate people sometimes.” Alison growled. “People like that are just…they…they have no right to tell anyone what to think or feel.”

“Oh, I told them exactly what I felt like.” Emily huffed out a hard laugh. “I even told them I’d pick up some full body condoms for them while I was there because it was clear they were walking STDs.”

“Damn.” Alison whistled with a smile.

“Felt good at the time.” Emily shrugged. “I didn’t want some crazy psychos that didn’t even know me to get to me. I was already beating myself up enough as it was. But I didn’t realize how much I was self-destructing. It wasn’t until I was boxing one day that I realized how much I was hurting…how much I was holding in. For me, boxing has always been about motivation and self-confidence. But there was so much emotion driving me that I just…I lost it.”

Alison cocked her head curiously. Something in the brunette’s expression reminded her of how she’d looked at her that morning after she’d lost control of her rage before school.

“That’s how you knew something was bothering me at the gym this morning.” Alison was impressed with Emily’s level of perception.

“I could see it. I recognized the pain.” Emily nodded.

Alison squeezed her hand. When she’d started wailing on the heavy bag the amount of anguish she had felt bubbling to the surface over everything she was bottling up had been overwhelming. She couldn’t imagine Emily in that same position…alone.

“I wish I was there. I wish I could have been there for you.”

“In a way, I’m kind of glad no one was. I needed to hit that point. I needed to feel everything I was holding in. I just…didn’t expect it to come out the way it did. I don’t remember it exactly. It was just a blur of emotions. I was hitting the bag one minute and ripping my gloves off the next. I had started crying at that point, but I didn’t realize that until later. I just kept kicking and punching and hyperventilating. I tore my knuckles up and almost passed out. I finally exhausted myself and just sat down against the wall and stared at the bag for the longest time. I don’t remember anything after that. I was there…and then I was at home staring at my parents and telling them everything. About my sexuality. About why I was afraid to come out. About Maya. About Isaac. About the baby. I just let it pour out of me.”

That had been one of the most terrifying moments of her life. She was convinced that her parents would kick her out. She was convinced they would hate her. She was convinced she was going to send her dad into another cardiac episode. She was afraid the news would shock him into a heart attack. He had been quiet, unsure of what to say. Her mother, on the other hand, had reacted exactly like Emily had expected.

“My mom was pissed. Telling her that I was gay was hard enough. But then she found out about the pregnancy…” She sucked her lip in between her teeth and then popped it back out again. “It confused her because clearly I didn’t get this way by sleeping with another girl. She asked me if I thought it could just be the hormones. And then she made some snarky remark about how if I was really gay that I wouldn’t be sleeping around with boys.”

“Well, that was a shitty thing to say.” Alison frowned, gripping Emily’s hand tightly.

“It could have been a lot worse. She could have kicked me out. I wasn’t exactly expecting a warm reaction. It’s why I was in the closet for so long. She was raised in a devout religious household, so I was expecting the judgment. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been rocky with her for a while now. But she’s trying to be more open-minded. My dad helps. He is a little more understanding. But he’s definitely taken to babying me more, like I’m suddenly more breakable just because I’m pregnant.”

“I mean…you do have to be more careful with things, don’t you?” She thought about all the risks that Emily wasn’t afraid to take. Getting into fights. Jumping over ravines. Riding her bike. “Oh my God, what about the motorcycle? That’s not safe for the baby, is it?”

“It’s perfectly safe up until a point. When I start to get big and lose my balance is when I need to stop. And I’m sure there are some angry mommy-shamers out there who would balk at someone riding a bike while pregnant. But it’s no more dangerous than riding in a car while pregnant. Or taking public transport. Anything can happen anywhere at any time. And I get that. But just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m not still human. There is no one size fits all. I’m careful on my bike. And I do have regard for the little human growing inside of me.”

Hearing her say those words stirred something to life in Alison. Her focus suddenly shifted to Emily’s abdomen. Emily was giving herself entirely to a tiny helpless little being. She was providing safety and comfort and nutrition to support her growing child. She was creating something amazing. When she looked at Emily she saw a natural beauty she hadn’t seen before. A warm flow of emotions rushed over her. Every cell of her being felt alive. She cared very deeply about Emily. And she felt the urge to be close to her...every part of her. There was an entire world inside of the brunette. And Alison felt lucky to be in her presence.

“Can I…” Alison held her hand out, her palm hovering over Emily’s stomach.

Given all of the touching they’d been doing, Emily thought it was adorable that she asked if it was okay. Emily nodded to give her permission. Alison slipped her hand underneath Emily’s shirt and put her palm against her stomach. It was warm and soft. Alison stared at her belly. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Wild thumping against her hand? A baby karate chopping her palm? The feeling of something alien moving inside of her?

“Can you feel it?” Alison peered at Emily.

“Sometimes. I think.”

Every now and then Emily would feel a flutter and she knew it wasn’t indigestion. Sometimes she was nauseated and she remembered that she hadn’t been eating enough or eating the right thing. Sometimes she’d feel a tingling feeling that radiated from her stomach down to her pelvis, like the kid was already mapping its way out of the birth canal. Her brain was already faltering, making her spacey. Her emotions were really heightened, but swimming, boxing, and riding helped.

She looked down at Alison’s hand against her stomach. It’s something she’d never imagined. In fact, Alison was the first person who wanted her to feel good about it. Her mom and dad certainly weren’t enthusiastic about it. And Isaac’s parents had looked at her like a leper after they found out. No one else knew. It felt good to tell someone else.

Alison smiled, her brow tightened in concentration. Her nose crinkled. Emily couldn’t take her eyes off of the blonde. She’d never felt more connected to anyone in her entire life. Her body and heart felt like it was chemically reacting in a way that it never had before.

Alison glanced at Emily in excitement.

“I think I felt something.”

“Yeah, that was me breathing.” Emily laughed.

“No. Seriously.” She moved her palm underneath Emily’s bellybutton and pressed down.

It still didn’t feel real. She felt like Emily was going to exclaim _“gotcha!”_ at any minute. But she didn’t. All Alison could do was look at her.

“You’re going to have a baby.”

_Holy shit, she’s going to have a baby._

Emily saw it finally register. The same look that her parents and Isaac’s parents had when they realized it was real.

“I know this is a lot. I didn’t mean to spring this on you like this. I wanted to sit down and have a real conversation about it, but I didn’t know how.” Emily’s eyes skirted the floor. “I just wanted you to know, because I don’t want you to be stuck in something you don’t want to be in, you know? I wanted to tell you early enough so you have an out if you want to take it. I’ll understand.”

It would crush her heart, but she would understand.

Alison pursed her lips in thought. It was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. Sure, it wasn’t something that was going to be easy. It wasn’t something she was expecting. She wasn’t even sure what it meant for them. But she knew one thing for certain.

“I don’t want an out.” Her hand drifted towards Emily’s side, her fingers tickling her ribs. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” When she looked into Emily’s eyes she felt like she was looking at the definition of pure happiness. “I like us. I know we’re still figuring _us_ out, but I still want to be with you.”

Emily didn’t seem so sure. She kept flashing back to the conversation she’d had with Hanna about relationships and how easy it was for complications to tear them apart. A baby was a huge deal. She didn’t want Alison to be caught up in her drama.

She also couldn’t look into Alison’s eyes and tell her she didn’t feel anything. She couldn’t deny whatever was budding between them.

“I want that, too.” Emily caressed her face. She couldn’t help herself. When she was around Alison she just felt the urge to touch her. “But I don’t want you to rush into this with me without thinking about _your_ future, too. I mean, _Juno_ was a cute movie, but living it is going to be entirely different. Maybe you should take some time to think about what this means.”

“I don’t have to. I know what I want.” She put her hand on Emily’s knee. “You have been there for me ever since you got back to town.” Hell, she’d _punched_ a teacher for her. “Why wouldn’t I be there for you…every step of the way?”

“This is a little different than regular relationship roles. It’s a lot of commitment for people who have only known each other for a month…”

“We’ve known each other a lot longer than that.” Alison disagreed.

“Are we really counting the five minutes we spent together in grade school?”

“They were a memorable five minutes.” Alison smiled. “Admit it, I made an impression on you that will last a lifetime.”

Alison was right, but Emily didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of being right. Alison looked so self-assured. So confident. She’d looked exactly the same when they’d kissed in the treehouse when they were kids.

“I was your first crush, am I right?” Alison had a cheeky look on her face.

Alison was her _only_ crush. She was the reason Emily realized she was gay. She’d never wanted anyone as much as she wanted the blonde.

“You liiiiike me.” Alison teased in a sing-songy manner. She bit her lip seductively and lifted her brows flirtatiously. “You know you want to kiss me.”

“You are so full of it.” Emily laughed.

“You know it’s true. Can’t deny _this_.” Alison moved forward and pushed her lips against Emily’s. Emily fell into her trap. Alison felt Emily slip her warm tongue in between her lips. Alison smiled. She knew she had Emily’s heart. She pulled back with a grin on her face. “Just to be clear, that was you and not the pregnancy hormones, right?”

“Stop talking.” Emily grabbed her and pulled her down against the floor.

“Why? What’s the matter? Afraid you’re going to fall in love with me?” Alison lifted her brows.

Emily shut her up with another kiss. She pulled Alison on top of her, her hands gripping her sides. Their mouths slowly opened and closed as their lips smacked together and their tongues swirled against each other. Emily slowly rolled Alison to her side and then on to her back. Their lips stayed connected as she pressed her weight against Alison’s body. Emily cupped her cheek as she deepened the kiss.

Emily wasn’t sure Alison truly grasped how much her life was going to change. She still hadn’t grasped it herself. She’d been thrust into it and had seen the world around her changing at breakneck speed. It’s like her brain was making choices for her before she even had an opportunity to think about it. The move. The job. The apartment. Everything was happening so fast.

Things with Alison felt easy compared to everything else that was going on in her life. Things felt smooth. And natural. So she wasn’t going to question it if Alison wanted to keep holding her hand and kissing her and making her life just a little more bearable. Her worries seemed like a problem for the future.

Emily pulled her lips away from Alison’s and kissed her forehead. Alison gave her a look that was both seductive and sweet. Emily didn’t know how she did that. She didn’t know how anyone could be so devious, yet look so innocent.

“This is insane. You are insane.” Emily kissed the tip of Alison’s nose.

“Why? Because I like you?”

“I told you I was pregnant and you kissed me and acted like it was nothing.”

“People get pregnant all the time. It’s how you’re here. How I’m here, too.”

“And here I thought you were genetically modified in a lab somewhere. No one looks this perfect.” Emily leaned over and pressed a kiss next to her ear. She felt Alison squirm.

“Was that sweet talk?” Alison laughed, pressing her fingertips against Emily’s sides, tickling her. “Emily Fields, are you sweet talking me?”

“Maybe. Is it working?”

The girl could read the dictionary and it would put Alison in a trance. She didn’t know how to put into words how she felt about her.

“You don’t have to say a word.” Alison raked her fingers through Emily’s hair. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. The way that Emily looked at her made Alison’s entire body quiver. “You just look at me and I’m a freaking gooey mess.”

She carried herself with confidence and bravado, but she had such a soft heart. She would be a great mother. Alison wanted to tell her that, but she wasn’t sure if it was an appropriate thing to say, especially given that Emily was conflicted about what to do about the baby.

“I’ve got to admit.” Emily rolled off of Alison and laid down beside her. She pulled the blonde into her embrace. “Of all the ways I thought this could play out I was not expecting this.”

“O ye of little faith.” Alison playfully slapped her arm. “So, what other secrets are you hiding? Are you married? Are you a secret agent? Do you have a second family across the ocean?”

“The baby is pretty much the headline.” Emily traced swirls against Alison’s arm with her fingertip.

The only other thing she was hiding was the weird threatening messages she was getting. And she didn’t want Alison to worry. The messages were grating, but they weren’t hurting her.

She couldn’t have known that someone was playing a dangerous game with her. She couldn’t have foreseen just how wildly it was going to spin out of control.

Alison looked up at the stars. Emily followed her gaze. The small looking glass into the big universe seemed so surreal. Each star in the sky was perfectly imperfect. Stars looked beautiful at a distance, but it was only in getting closer and feeling how bright they burned that people knew and understood their power.

Emily had always been a big believer of writing her own story, but sometimes things happened that weren’t planned. She knew she had to hope for something like the stars to help navigate her. Maybe Alison was that star for her. Maybe something had happened that day at the wishing well. Maybe her wish had gone beyond the well and into the ether of space. People wished on stars all the time.

Emily looked over at Alison. She was brighter than any star in the sky. Like the stars, she wasn’t perfect, but she brought a sense of wonder to the world. It took Alison several minutes to realize that Emily was staring at her. When she turned to face her Emily reached up to move a strand of hair out of her face.

“So…now what?” Emily asked.

Alison wasn’t sure what came next, but she did know that she didn’t want Emily to go anywhere. She wanted to know more about her.

“You want to go grab something to eat?”

“My parents were pretty pissed about me jumping Wilden. They think I’m in my room studying. I don’t think they’d be cool with me going out tonight, and I can’t sneak my bike out with all the noise it makes.”

“So I’ll drive.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you knew how to drive. I just assumed you had people carrying you around town atop a throne like Cleopatra.” Emily grinned.

“Nope. I just found a sucker with a bike.”

“What idiot fell for _your_ act?” Emily sat up, bring Alison into a seated position with her.

“Some street rat who thinks she’s _so_ cool with her hippie hair and her Harley Davidson…”

“It’s actually a Honda, but continue.” Emily stood up. She gripped Alison’s hands and helped her to her feet.

“Well, now you’ve ruined it for me.” Alison pouted.

“Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it?” Emily pulled Alison close. She tilted her chin up, knowing the blonde wouldn’t be able to resist looking into her eyes.

Alison put her hand against Emily’s hip and lifted her other arm to place her palm against the side of Emily’s neck. Her eyes flickered towards Emily’s mouth. Her lips were full and moist from their make out session.

Alison moved forward. She ghosted her lips over Emily’s, but was careful not to connect them. She peered into her eyes and smirked, teasing her.

Emily waited, but Alison just took a step back and grinned. She grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the treehouse door.

* * *

Alison wasn’t the greatest driver. Something told Emily she was used to being carted around like she was royalty. She was amused when Alison almost hit a fire hydrant, calling her _Talladega Nights_. Alison shot her a look that let her know she didn’t appreciate the commentary.

When she bumped the curb as she was parking in front of the small Mexican eatery Emily snickered, but before she could say anything Alison turned and scowled at her.

“Shut up.”

Emily didn’t say a word, but when she climbed out of the car she made a show of hugging a lamp post and over-dramatically acting like her life had been in danger.

“Oh, don’t even.” Alison rolled her eyes. “Little Miss _I jump over cliffs_ and _I pop wheelies on my big girl bike_.”

“It’s true. Once those training wheels came off, all bets were off.” She grabbed Alison’s hand. “I just went wild.”

Alison was too distracted by her hand in Emily’s hand to notice anything else. It’s not like they hadn’t held hands before, but this felt different. This whole night felt special. Emily had opened up to her about something huge. She was trusting her with a secret.

She’d never had anyone this close before. It was scary how fast they were moving, but she also _liked_ being scared. It was like being on the back of Emily’s motorcycle on the highway. It was dangerous, but with Emily in control it wasn’t as terrifying.

“Why didn’t we just go through the drive-thru?” Emily asked as they walked towards the door.

“I didn’t want to accidentally crash through the window.” Alison replied sarcastically.

“Good call.” Emily nodded with a laugh.

“They never give me enough sauce. I wanted to grab it myself.”

They walked inside. The place was empty. The young college student behind the counter was completely apathetic to the two little high school lovebirds walking towards her. Emily knew what it felt like to be overworked and tired. She sympathized with her. The girl’s face was fixed in a permanent frown as she took their order. Emily started to fork over the cash, but Alison stopped her.

“I got it.” She pulled her credit card out.

“Ali, I can afford a two piece meal and some churros.” Emily assured her.

“I know. But I want to.”

Emily watched as she slid the card forward. She knew exactly why Alison was suddenly flaunting her money around. She probably wouldn’t have thought twice about it if she didn’t know Emily was pregnant. She had been concerned that people would treat her differently when they found out. She didn’t realize it would bug her so much.

After a few seconds Emily’s thoughts softened. She felt guilty for feeling perturbed. Alison was trying to do something nice.

“Anything else?” The girl asked.

“Would it kill you to smile?” Alison teased, dangling her credit card in front of her. It was a childish taunt.

“It might.” The girl shrugged.

Alison scowled at her. She looked like she was about ready to snap and become some ridiculous news story.

_“Rich Uptown Girl arrested for hitting fast food worker with sriracha bottle”_

Emily gave Alison a look that clearly said, _“don’t piss off the person handling our food.”_

“Can I get some sour cream on the side?” Alison asked.

“Sour cream is fifty cents extra.” The girl handed Alison two empty drink cups for her to fill up at the fountain.

“That’s fine. I could afford fifty times that.” Alison took the cups and stormed away before she said something she regretted, leaving Emily standing in front of the girl awkwardly.

The girl tallied everything up and then slid the card through the card reader. She handed it back to Emily, along with the receipt.

“Sorry about that.” Emily took the card gently.

The girl mumbled out a response that Emily couldn’t hear. Emily looked over the counter and saw a Statistics book on a stool next to her.

“You in college?” Emily tried to make conversation.

“Yeah, I take night classes at Hollis.”

“Cool. What are you studying?”

“Nursing. I want to specialize in Labor and Delivery. When I had my son last year it dawned on me that I never would have gotten through my labor without the nurses.”

“That’s awesome.” Emily smiled. “Congrats on your son.”

The girl smiled. A _genuine_ smile, not one being coerced out of her by someone flashing a credit card at her.

“He’s exhausting, but I love him to pieces. Only reason I’m working in this shithole. You gotta do what you gotta do, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“Your order should be ready in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.” Emily started to step aside.

“I like your hair, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Emily turned to walk towards the drink machine, but stopped. She faced the girl again. “Hey, um, are we allowed to tip?”

“On a to-go order?” The girl was confused.

“Why not? My dad taught me the virtue of appreciating the people who serve us.”

“That’s a rarity. Don’t meet that many people with common decency. Most of the time people don’t even look up from their phones when they order.” She watched as Emily pulled a bill out of her pocket. “It’s nice and everything, but I don’t think we’re really allowed to…”

“What’s the policy on money that’s just found lying around? Maybe someone forgot it on the counter?” Emily put a five dollar bill next to the napkin dispenser within the girl’s reach. “People are so clumsy these days. Never paying attention. Always on their phones…”

The girl smiled at Emily again and reached for the cash. Emily turned and walked off. Alison was putting the tops on their drinks. She didn’t look happy.

“What was that?” Alison questioned.

“What?”

“Was she flirting with you?” Her face was rigid.

The juxtaposition of the girl Emily saw in the treehouse and the cold angry girl standing in front of her gave Emily a bit of whiplash. She knew that Alison had her moods, but sometimes she forgot just how quickly her attitude could turn.

“Talking is not flirting, Alison.” Emily picked up her drink.

“She wasn’t exactly chatty with me.”

“Maybe because of the way you were acting.”

Alison nearly dropped her straw. She scoffed at Emily.

“She started it.”

“How?” Emily was perplexed.

“She was rude.”

“So were you.” Emily still caught glimpses of the Alison that her friends warned her about, and it bothered her. She knew Alison was working on her empathy, but sometimes she slipped back into old habits. And Emily wasn’t afraid to call her on it. “You can’t treat people like that.”

Alison looked annoyed. She jammed her straw into the top on the cup. Alison felt a flush of frustration and anger, but not at Emily. She still couldn’t pinpoint what was making her mad. She felt irrational sometimes. And when it came to Emily there was a sense of entitlement she felt that she couldn’t turn off.

She knew it wasn’t logical to be so wrapped up in someone else. She’d never needed anyone to feel complete before. Emily had crept into her veins and she could feel her everywhere. It’s like she was helpless to her own emotions and feelings. She looked at Emily and she felt…obsessed. And it made her feel like a petty child sometimes.

“It’s not my fault she hates her life.” Alison played with her cup.

“To me it looks like she’s trying to make something out of her life.” Emily glanced back at the girl. She thought about the college books and how hard it must be to work for a ridiculously low wage while trying to keep up with a baby and school.

“Well, maybe she should have tried harder.”

“That could be me in a year.” Emily pointed out.

Alison clamped her jaw closed and felt the blood rushing away from her cheeks. She blanched. She hadn’t thought about it that way. Emily knew that putting the idea of it in her head would give her some perspective.

Sometimes Alison forgot they were still learning things about each other. They didn’t have the same upbringing. They didn’t have the same values. Emily knew what it was like to be working class. Alison had never known anything but privilege.

Alison sighed.

“I…never really thought about that.” Her gaze drifted to Emily’s stomach. Her eyes flickered to Emily’s, but then darted away. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s not me you offended.” Emily looked at the girl behind the counter.

“I’m trying.” Alison shrugged. “This all comes so easy for you. I don’t know how to relate to people like you do.”

“It really isn’t that complicated. You just treat people the way you want to be treated.”

Alison looked perplexed. She played with her straw, watching as the flecks of paper from the cover material fell against the counter.

“That’s the problem. I don’t know how to be normal.” She slowly lifted her head and made eye contact with Emily. The expression on her face was sincere. “I wasn’t _trying_ to be mean. She just pissed me off. And when I get angry…” She clenched her jaw, “…it’s just always there. It’s like what happened at the gym. I want to stop it, but I can’t. I’m mad…all the time. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because that’s how my brother and I grew up. Our parents…they’re not…they’re not like yours.”

“My parents aren’t perfect.” They were far from it.

“I know. But you can tell they care. And you can tell they took care in raising you. I don’t think you turned out this kind all on your own. Your dad was so nice to me when I stayed over when I was drunk. And every time I see them they are so sweet to me. I know you said that your mom says things that hurt you. But you’ve also said that you love them and that they love you. I don’t know what that feels like. I don’t have a family, Emily.” She looked ashamed to admit it. “I got everything I ever wanted growing up, but never love. I see other kids and I see how they are with their parents. And I don’t know how that feels. It’s why I didn’t freak out about…” She glanced at Emily’s stomach and lowered her voice, “…you know. I see the love that others have to give. It just doesn’t seem fair. And it pisses me off.”

That was why she was so fascinated to find out about Emily’s pregnancy. She knew that if Emily had the baby it would be loved. She had only spent a few weeks with her, but she knew how much love the brunette had to offer. And she wanted to be a part of that.

“God, your family really did a number on you.” Emily reached up and pushed Alison’s hair behind her ear. She knew how it felt to live in a dysfunctional family. She knew how it felt to feel unloved.

“Not just them.” Alison admitted. “Everyone they know is toxic. Even my brother and his friends. I know being around them has made me toxic, too…” She mashed her lips together in a fine line and then sighed. “I don’t expect you to understand…”

“It’s okay.” Emily reached out and touched her hand. She knew how hard it was for Alison to be upfront about her emotions. She also knew what it felt like to bury her emotions so deep that she didn’t recognize herself in the mirror. She knew what it felt like to be angry and to be unable to do anything about it. “I get it.”

Alison shot her an appreciative look. Of course she got it. She was perfect. Emily pulled her in for an embrace and Alison felt her anger melt away. She laid her head against the crook of Emily’s neck.

“I don’t want to be angry anymore,” Alison groaned in frustration.

“It’s okay to be angry.” Emily pulled back and kissed the top of her head. “But it’s not okay to take it out on other people.”

“Except pedo teachers.” Alison pointed out.

“True. I’d punch him again in a heartbeat.” Emily didn’t hesitate. She saw Alison smile briefly, but then a look of discomfort swept across her face. It was the same look Alison had on her face when she’d found her in the library. “Ali, I’ll never let him hurt you again.”

Alison gently pulled her hand away from Emily’s and reached up to fiddle with her straw again. Seeing her upset made Emily feel heated at Wilden all over again.

“He’s going to jail. You know that, right?” Emily put her hand against Alison’s arm.

“I hope you’re right.” Alison glanced at her. “But I’m not holding my breath. People that look like he does get away with a lot.”

“Not this.”

“You’d be surprised. You think I’ve ever had to answer for anything I’ve done?” Alison asked.

“The situations don’t compare.”

“Wilden and I both manipulated people. We both hurt people. I know that. But I never realized how it felt to be the one being hurt.” She slowly looked up at Emily. “I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be a monster. And I’m working on that. I promise.”

“I know you are. And you’re doing a good job. Mona and Hanna don’t loathe your existence anymore. They tolerate your presence.”

Alison laughed.

“And Caleb and Mike?” she asked.

“Mike doesn’t pay attention to anything that isn’t Mona or video games. And Caleb…well…” Emily grimaced, “Let’s just say he’s not fantasizing about poisoning you anymore.”

“I thought my smoothies tasted funny.” Alison smirked.

“I’m telling you, never piss off the people who prepare your food and beverages.”

“Your order is ready!” The girl called out from across the restaurant.

“You think they put explosives in it?” Alison glanced towards the counter.

“That’s so cute.” Emily pressed her index finger against her nose, jokingly patronizing her. “If they messed with it, you’re going to find something _a lot_ worse than explosives in it.”

* * *

After they picked up the food they went out to a quiet overlook near the ravine to share their meal under the stars. Alison pulled the car up to the edge of the cliff, an area which had been deemed “make out point” by some ancient kids in the 70s.

Alison parked the car near the edge.

“You driving this close to the ledge was a dangerous idea. You talk about me riding a bike with a baby on board being scary?” Emily reached down to unbuckle her seat belt.

“Leave me and my driving alone.” Alison pouted.

Emily smiled at her and opened the door to climb out. Alison followed. She slid the bag of food on to the hood and climbed up next to it. She motioned for Emily to do the same. Emily climbed on top of the car with her.

They looked up at the stars. It was a nice night. It wasn’t too cold. It was peaceful. Emily could see why Alison loved looking at the stars. It was a lot like why she enjoyed seeing the leaves change. There was something nice about consistency. And nature and space were both fairly consistent. Like leaves, stars also died. But they lived on in a way. They were burning embers of hope for people that never really died.

They ate their tacos and listened to the whooshing sound of the wind echoing off of the cliff around them.

Emily savored her churro. It hit the spot. After she was finished she felt completely full. She stared at her stomach. She felt like she’d gained ten pounds. No one could see the little pouch that she felt. No one could tell that she was putting on weight. But Emily knew her body. It’s one of the things she’d always been in control of. When she was swimming. When she was hiking. When she rode her bike. She had control. But she didn’t have a handle on anything that was happening to her. Something was growing inside her. And she always felt ten times heavier after she ate.

“Something wrong?” Alison noticed her staring at her stomach. She was worried that the fast food had made Emily feel sick.

“You know I’m going to blow up like a balloon, right?”

“So? You’re going to be a total MILF.” Alison shrugged. “You’re going to be hot no matter how much you weigh. I mean, hello? You’re a Goddess. And even Goddesses got pregnant.”

“That strangely makes me feel a little better.” Emily laughed. “You’re weird, but your ways work.”

Alison tore off a piece of her churro and threw it at Emily’s face. They both exploded into laughter. Alison picked at her dessert.

“Can I ask you something?” Alison questioned.

“Sure.”

“What was it like…being with Isaac?” She put what was left of her dessert in the empty bag beside her.

“Like dating him, or…” Emily looked up, a wisp of hair falling into her face. It made her look so much hotter, “…the other stuff?”

“All of it. I mean, I don’t want the specific details. I’m just curious. You said it was different. What did you mean by that?” She had a genuine look of curiosity on her face.

“I had to get a buzz going before we did anything more than kiss. There was just a lot of pressure to make it work. I felt fine when we were just friends. We got along great. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. It’s surprising he never figured out I’m gay. I guess maybe he wanted that passion to be there so much that he was willing to overlook the fact that when we were physical…I didn’t like it.”

“Didn’t that make it really weird when you two…did stuff?”

“It wasn’t great, but he didn’t have anything to compare it to, so he thought it was amazing. It’s really different for guys, I think. Men seemed to be ingrained with this idea that any sex is awesome sex. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. They’re just wired differently.”

“They’re easy to please. Just give them a sock and some hand lotion.” Alison made a face. “When I was little I always wondered why Jason locked himself in the bathroom for hours.”

“Exactly. Guys just…they’re able to do it without thinking. I think with girls it’s more about emotion. And connection. And what feels good.”

“And it didn’t feel that way with him?”

“No.” She grimaced. “To his credit he was really gentle and sweet. And…uh… _fast_.” Alison felt a smug satisfaction in knowing he hadn’t been able to please her. She knew without a doubt that she could make Emily feel good. She had seen it on her face in the midst of their heavy make-out sessions. She’d touched Emily in a way that Isaac couldn’t. “We only did it a few times. And the first time was kind of a hot mess.”

“Ew.” Alison frowned at the mental picture.

“Not literally.” Emily laughed. “Just…he wasn’t really sure what he was doing. And I’d never been with a guy before. We were both pretty lost. It was amazing we were even able to wrap it up properly, which, I guess in the end…we failed at that. Because…hello.” She pointed to her stomach. “Got to love faulty rubbers. Or…improper installation? Poor operator error? I’m not really sure what to call it. I wasn’t really overthinking it. I was just trying to get through it. I just thought once we got it over with it wouldn’t be so bad. But it just made things worse for me.”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Alison asked timidly.

“No. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one made a mess of things. I wish I would have just come out. But I was desperate not to become our school’s pariah. And I really did want to feel something for him. I thought if maybe we got better at it that my feelings would be there. But after a couple of times I realized that it was me. I realized that I couldn’t pretend anymore. Any time he touched me or kissed me or even held my hand I started to feel less like myself. The physical stuff didn’t hurt. But mentally and emotionally I was a complete wreck. I wasn’t _me_. Afterwards I’d usually go somewhere and just…cry. I hated that I wasn’t myself. And I hated that I was lying to him. And I hated that I was just so…uncomfortable.”

“How did he not know you were uncomfortable?” Alison could sense Emily’s emotions without even trying. How did her boyfriend, who had loved her enough to want to sleep with her not know what she was feeling?

“I hid it well. Still do. People rarely know when something is wrong. I hid inside myself for years. I was so afraid my family would hate me that I pretended to be something I’m not.” She sighed. “It’s actually kind of ironic. I was so afraid to come out that I put myself in a position that was _worse_. I went way too far in the opposite direction. I didn’t realize how much I was hurting myself by lying. And what’s worse is that I was hurting him. Isaac didn’t deserve my lies. He was too good for me.”

“He just wasn’t right for you.”

“I knew he wasn’t right for me and I still went along with it. _And_ I broke up with him and didn’t tell him about the baby. Makes me a shitty girlfriend and an even shittier friend.”

“Give yourself a break.” Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s. “You have got so much happening. It’s a lot for anyone, let alone someone our age. I can’t even imagine having to deal with all of that _and_ have to sweat our school assignments. Hell, you handled it better than I would have. I think you’re entitled to a little privacy right now…until you figure things out.”

Emily smiled weakly at her. She appreciated Alison trying to make her feel better, but it didn’t do much to ease her guilt. But she did feel less alone. She flipped her hand over and their palms pressed together as she laced her fingers through Alison’s. She didn’t have to say ‘thank you’ for Alison to know she was thinking it.

“Maybe you’re right.” Emily glanced at their joined hands. “It led me here.” It had led her to Alison. “I feel like myself for the first time in years.” She felt free. She felt so much lighter. Despite everything she had hanging over her head, she felt cool and collected.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re amazing.” Alison smiled.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re nearly as evil as everyone in town thinks you are.” Emily smiled back.

“And you ruined it.” Alison laughed.

They laid back against the windshield, inching closer together. Alison ran her fingertips over their joined hands. She glanced at Emily’s stomach.

“Are you scared?” Alison asked.

“Yes and no.” Emily stared at the sky. The universe felt so big sometimes. “I’m not worried about the things a normal person would be worried about. It’s not the ‘what am I going to do?’ or ‘how is this going to change my life?’ or anything like that. For me, the biggest fear I have is what all of this means right now.”

“What do you mean?”

Emily turned to face Alison. Even in the darkness she could see the reflection of the moon in the blonde’s eyes. And it felt like home to her. She felt like she could tell Alison anything.

“I think I’m afraid to admit that I do want to have this baby.” She touched her belly. “And I’m afraid that once I do admit it, everything is going to change.”

Alison quietly processed it. There was a thoughtful pause as she considered what to say. She had no idea what Emily was going through. Up until a few hours ago they were just two high school girls sneaking out and making out in the shadows.

She had been so drawn to Emily because she was strong and fearless. Now that she knew what she was going through she understood the true definition of strength. And while some people might consider pregnancy an obstacle, for Alison it only solidified her feelings for the brunette.

“I know one thing that won’t change.” Alison reached up to cup her cheek.

She moved forward to kiss her, but Emily was already taking control of the motion. She moved her palm up against the side of Alison’s neck and pressed her lips firmly against the blonde’s. She tasted like cinnamon from the churro. She slid her hand up against Alison’s jaw, her fingertips lightly brushing against Alison’s ear. Alison mewled into their kiss. Emily felt it in every nerve ending in her body.

As they kissed under the stars the rest of the world seemed to disappear. Emily wasn’t sure about the rest of her life, but there was one thing she knew for certain. She knew how she felt about Alison DiLaurentis.

She wasn’t thinking about her past. She wasn’t worried about her future. She was letting her feelings guide her in her present. Hanna had been right about Alison. She’d hooked Emily in ways that she’d never been hooked. But Emily never wanted her to let go. She was content to be in Alison’s grasp for however long the blonde wanted her.

When she was with Alison she felt the entire world fade away. They were both so engulfed in their kisses that neither one of them heard the bushes rustling. Neither one of them saw the shadow lurking in the darkness. They didn’t hear Emily’s phone chime from inside the car, the screen flashing with a taunting message,

**_Careful, Daredevil. The more you keep living life on the edge the easier it will be for me to push you over it._ **

The shadowy figure lingered for a while, watching the two girls as their heated passion intensified. Then, in the cover of the night the person slipped away. Emily Fields had no idea what she was in for. Her secrets would eventually be her downfall. And the person in the dark would stop at nothing to make sure she lost everything.

* * *

**A/N:** _I know sexuality is a touchy subject. Clearly, I’m neurotic AF writing about writing this world and getting it right (all my previous author notes can confirm). But I want everyone to know that every single topic that I choose to cover is something I approach in a delicate manner. Over the years I have had tons of conversations with my fam in the LGBTQ community. There is something in this chapter that is paraphrased about young people struggling to discover and be who they are in a society who tells them there is a status quo…when in reality, we’re all unique individuals who love who we love._

_The quote came from a very lengthy conversation I had with one of my friends a few years ago. If I could post the entire conversation I would, but instead it was summed up in, “Sexuality is hard. We’re expected to be one thing and we’re another, and when you’re not sure how to be yourself you just kind of go along with the masses.”_

_Self-discovery is one of the most important times in people’s young lives, but oftentimes there are outside influences that make things more difficult, whether it’s a homophobic family or the fear of being ostracized, and I wanted to portray that realistically. Personally, I believe everyone should be given the freedom and choice to live how they want to live. That’s the entire basis for this story. It’s why it’s labeled romance. Because romance is a journey of self-discovery._

_Then there is the mystery, too. Because I like to throw in a little torture, cuz that’s how I do._


	8. Family Matters

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

**Family Matters**

Emily spent the entire car ride home watching Alison. The blonde was focused on the road. Emily could tell that she didn’t drive very often. Alison wasn’t a very careful or particular person, but behind the wheel of a car she looked like a grandma who was trying to ease on down the road.

Alison finally reached a point of relief when she stopped at a red light. She looked over at Emily, who was holding back laughter.

“I hope you know I’m doing this for you,” Alison said. “Safety is important. We need to get one of those _baby on board_ stickers.”

“I’d prefer to hold off on that. We need to pump the brakes in making this known around town. I mean, the father doesn’t even know.” Emily pointed out.

“You think he’s going to see an itty bitty bumper sticker all the way from Texas?” Alison asked.

“Let’s just slow down. No baby is here yet. And I kind of want to keep it on the down-low. I don’t want the whole town to know. I’d prefer what we talked about to just be between us. I don’t need the entire town getting all up in my business.”

“I’d like to get up in your business.” Alison turned towards her and bit her lip and grinned.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll grant you special permission to get as far up in my business as you want.” She reached over and laid her hand against Alison’s knee. Their eyes met. Emily slowly started to move her hand up towards her thigh.

“You’re distracting the driver.” Alison licked her lips.

“Sorry. You want me to stop?” Emily squeezed her thigh.

“No.” Alison shook her head as she leaned over the console, puffing her lips out.

Emily leaned into the kiss, her hand still on Alison’s inner thigh. She reached up with her other hand and caressed her cheek.

They didn’t notice when the light turned green until the car behind them honked at them. Alison gracefully flipped the driver the finger before pulling forward, then stopping suddenly just to piss them off.

“So much for safety.” Emily glanced back when she heard the car behind them laying on the horn. A few seconds later the driver swerved to the right and sped past them, slowing down to give Alison the bird before gunning the engine.

“There are a lot of nuts out there.” Alison turned her blinker on and veered the car to the left.

“You do realize that you’re one of them, right?” Emily chuckled.

“But I’m hot. I’m a hot nut.”

Emily cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting to see if she realized how wrong it sounded. Alison looked totally oblivious.

“What?” Alison asked.

“Do me a favor. Don’t ever call yourself a ‘hot nut’ again.” Emily had a bemused look on her face.

“Mind out of the gutter, Fields.” Alison rolled her eyes. “There are a lot of _crazy people_ out there.” She corrected herself. “And yes, I know I’m one of them.”

“Yeah, but you’re the good kind of crazy.” Emily traced her fingers along Alison’s arm.

Alison felt her touch in her soul. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She swallowed a burning feeling in her throat. She still didn’t quite understand how a simple touch could make her entire body feel like it was on fire.

“I’d hate to see the bad kind of crazy then.” Alison peered over at her.

Emily glanced out the window. She tried not to think about her stalker in the shadows. She had no idea they’d been watched out at the ravine. But she knew that the ‘bad’ crazy was out there. Isaac’s sister was proof of that. She didn’t realize she was stroking her knuckles until Alison said something.

“So…I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’ve dealt with the ‘bad’ crazy before?” She asked as she paused at a stop sign.

“Kind of. Isaac’s sister, Courtney. Sometimes I wonder if she was a sociopath. She had all these weird narcissistic tendencies that went way beyond typical teenage bitchiness.”

“Was she worse than me?” Alison asked.

Emily reached out to where Alison’s hands were on the steering wheel. She touched her fingers.

“I don’t think you’re anything like her.” There was a softness in her tone. “I see something in you that I didn’t see in her.”

“My winning smile?” Alison guessed.

“Your great ass.” Emily winked.

“It _is_ a great ass, isn’t it?” She grinned in pride.

“The best ass.” Emily chuckled. “But beyond that, I can see that you have a heart. You might not show it to everyone, but I feel it.”

“Because you bring it out of me,” Alison said softly.

“You’re the one who wanted to make a change. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“I think you give me too much credit.”

“So…we balance each other in a way.” Emily smiled.

“Yin and Yang.” Alison nodded in agreement.

“Jeong.”

“Huh?”

“I saw it in a Korean film. It’s this world of positive emotions in a kind of affection that can’t really be explained, because it has to be _experienced_. It represents a collective unity of soul.”

“I like that.” Alison smiled. She wanted to _feel_ that.

“It’s a nice balance to have in the world.” Emily looked at the scenery passing by. “There is a lot of bad out there. It’s nice to have the good to even it out.”

“What do you think separates bad people from people who do bad things?” Alison asked. “You think there’s a difference?”

“I think so.” Emily slowly turned to face Alison again. “We all do bad things. I’ve done bad things.” She glanced at her stomach.

Alison frowned. She had no idea why Emily thought what she’d done was so bad. She’d been worried about breaking Isaac’s heart, and she was afraid of her parents. The pregnancy was an accident, but the baby wasn’t a bad thing. The fact that she thought that any of it was remotely bad astonished her.

Her motorcycle-riding kickboxing badass had a heart of gold.

“Please.” Alison rolled her eyes. “You put the ‘angel’ in _Hell’s Angel_.” Alison turned to her, her dimples popping. “You’re one of the best people I know. What you’re going through doesn’t make you a bad person. It just…happened.”

“Still.” Emily argued. “I think the basis of what we do doesn’t make us into who we are. I think it’s how we grow from what we learn.”

“And some people are incapable of learning?”

“Some people are _uninterested_ in learning.” Emily corrected her. “Some people are just…cold.” Even now, thinking back to how she’d emerged from being underwater and seeing Courtney’s dark eyes staring into hers without even one ounce of empathy made her shudder.

“Courtney?” Alison guessed when she saw the look on Emily’s face.

“I never bought much into my mom’s religious stuff, but one thing that I couldn’t shake was that there definitely is something up with people who don’t have a soul. When I think about that I think about Courtney. She was freakishly terrifying. But she also had this really alluring nature.” Like a serpent. “She used her charm to torment people.”

She started to tell Alison about the kiss, but stopped. Telling her about Isaac was enough for one night. Besides, Courtney wasn’t anyone important. She was just another bully.

“She had _no_ remorse. There was this moment…” Emily flexed her knuckles. They were still sore. “This one fleeting moment after she tried to drown me that I saw a weird glint in her eye, like she was getting off on it. She knew I would lose it on her. I pinned her against the ground, but she didn’t look scared. She looked…excited. It was just us. And I could have shut her up for good if I wanted to. It’s like she was begging me to. And I sort of wanted to.”

Alison’s eyes flitted over towards the brunette. She was deep in thought. Alison couldn’t help but imagine the dark streak in her…and how hot it was to think about. She imagined Emily pinning her down and holding her hands in place as she had her way with her.

“But you didn’t.” Alison drew Emily out of her thoughts.

“And that’s the difference between bad people and people who do bad things. If the tables were turned…she absolutely would have hurt me. Hell, she tried to.”

“Why was she like that?” Alison didn’t understand. She’d done some bad things, but it never crossed her mind to try and kill someone.

“I don’t know.” Emily sighed. “Like I said, Isaac was raised in the same house. He didn’t grow up hating people. He didn’t use religion like a weapon like the rest of his family. Courtney didn’t really believe in it. She just used it as a way to justify some of her behavior. At the pool she was ‘cleansing’ me because she thought there was something wrong with me.”

“I wish I could hold her under water.” Alison grumbled, quietly steaming in her rage. “Maybe throw her in a vat of holy water. Make her feel the burn. See how religious she really is.”

“You know the weirdest part?” Emily asked. “When Courtney was trying to ‘baptize’ me, all I could think about was whether or not my mother and her God agreed with Courtney on some level. I’m pretty much a deviant in my mom’s eyes.”

“Yeah, but most parents think that about their children, don’t they?”

“Probably.” Emily nodded. “I guess since she didn’t call an exorcist when she found out the truth maybe she’s not _that_ extreme.”

“Sometimes I wonder what my parents think about me. And I wonder why they had me. Because I don’t know if they are capable of love. They definitely don’t love each other. I don’t think they love me and Jason either.” Alison’s tone softened.

Emily didn’t say anything. She just reached out and touched her hand, letting her know that she wasn’t alone.

“Do you think we’re destined to turn out like our parents?” Alison kept her eyes on the road, an intensity behind her gaze.

“God, I hope not.”

The question made her wonder what kind of mom she was going to be…if she was going to be a mom. She was going to have the baby. She knew that much. But she didn’t know what kind of life she could provide. She wanted the baby, but she also knew that she had to look at other options. She wanted her child to have the best life possible.

Alison pulled the car into the driveway. When she pulled the car to a stop she looked at the brunette. Emily was deep in thought, her brow creased and her lips pursed.

“What’s on your mind?” Alison asked.

“Nothing.” Emily unbuckled her seat belt.

“Liar.” Alison took the key out of the ignition. She saw a light on in the garage. Her face deflated when she saw her dad’s very expensive midlife crisis hotrod he’d purchased weeks ago. “They’re home. I’m not looking forward to this.”

“You want me to go in there with you?” Emily asked.

“No. Save yourself. They’ll probably have an entire PowerPoint presentation about how I antagonized my way into this situation.”

“Do _not_ let them blame you for Wilden.” Emily reached over and gripped her hand.

“They will.” Alison lowered her head.

Emily felt like walking into Alison’s house and calling her parents out, but she’d gotten in enough trouble for one day.

“Why don’t you come stay with me?” Emily asked.

“And give your parents more reason for them to hate me?” Alison shook her head. “I can handle it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“I’ll be fine, Em.” She sounded sad, resigned to her fate.

Before Emily could argue, Alison opened her door and climbed out. Emily followed her without a word. She walked over to the driver’s side and took her hand. She walked her to her front door.

Alison didn’t want to let go of her hand. Emily held on just long enough so that when she dropped Alison’s hand it left the blonde wanting more.

“So old-fashioned of you to walk me to my door.” Alison was impressed.

“I think if this was the 1950s this would be considered ‘going steady’.” Emily chuckled.

“Give me your letterman jacket, Daddy-O.” Alison gripped the lapels of Emily’s leather jacket. She had a wide-eyed exuberance in her expression.

Emily knew she was joking, but she peeled her jacket off anyway and laid it over her shoulders. The motion made Alison blush. Her cheeks flooded with color.

“You didn’t have to…”

“I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl.” Emily shrugged. She paused to think about it. “Except the being pregnant on my girlfriend’s porch after a dinner date part.”

Alison laughed. Emily had an uncanny ability to make her feel so much better about life. She wrapped herself up in Emily’s jacket. The arms flopped around at her sides. Alison snuggled it tightly. It smelled like her. They exchanged a glance.

“So…” Emily looked up towards the treehouse. They’d left the light on.

“So.” Alison echoed with a nod. Their eyes met. Alison smiled. “Truth or Dare?”

Emily laughed. She leaned forward and planted a lingering kiss on Alison’s lips. When she pulled away they were both smiling.

“Dare.” Emily answered. “Always dare.” She slid her fingertips up underneath the material of the jacket, caressing Alison’s bare arm. It was starting to get cold out, and Emily could feel the goosebumps on her skin. She had no idea that _she_ had been the cause of those goosebumps. “What about you? Truth or Dare?”

“Hmmm…” Alison thought about it. She thought about how wonderful it was to feel Emily opening up to her. She wanted more of that. “Truth.”

“How freaked are you about Isaac and the baby? On a scale of Hanna on a bad fashion day to Spencer not having her coffee and losing all her notes for her debate meets?”

“Maybe…half a Spencer.” Alison tried to calculate it. “Or a Hanna and a half?” They both laughed. “It’s…weird.” Alison didn’t lie. She couldn’t. She’d chosen _truth_. “It’s really hard to wrap my head around you and Isaac. But I get it. I can’t imagine what you were going through. From the way you talked about him, it sounds like he was your safe place. I know if I was in your shoes…” She played with Emily’s fingers before looking up at her again, her eyes flickering in the light from the house, “I would do anything to keep my safe place.”

“Does it bother you? That I was with him?”

It had at first, but that was before Alison realized the extent of what Emily went through. It was clear that Emily wasn’t in love with him. She wasn’t even attracted to him. It’s not even like the lines were blurred. She wasn’t confused, like Emily’s mom had accused her when she found out. She wasn’t experimenting. She’d just lost her girlfriend. She was broken. She was hiding. And Alison understood that. She understood what it was like to wear a mask.

“He was your best friend.” Alison shrugged. “He was there for you after you lost Maya. It’s understandable that you needed someone to lean on. And I get why you were afraid to come out. You were under so much pressure. Losing the sense of stability you had with Isaac must have really freaked you out.”

“I know I went too far.” Emily gnawed on her lip. “But I didn’t know what else to do. I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I was hammered. I thought I could just close my eyes and imagine whatever fantasy I wanted to in my head. But it did not work that way at all. In hindsight, the alcohol was a terrible idea, but I used to drink when my emotions were high. And I do really stupid shit when I panic.”

“You’re talking to someone who got lit at a frat party over petty jealousy. Trust me, I understand. I don’t hold anything against you.” She linked her fingers in between Emily’s. “Sometimes I wish I was normal, too.”

“We _are_ normal, Ali.” Emily curled her fingers, tightening her grip on Alison’s hand.

“I don’t think you are.” Alison gave her a curious look. “I think you’re incredible.”

“The pregnancy really doesn’t weird you out?”

Alison didn’t respond at first. She puffed her lips out as her eyes narrowed in thought.

“It’s…different.” She chose her words carefully. She saw Emily look away. She reached up and put her palm against Emily’s neck. “Different in a good way.” She clarified. “Would it be awkward if I told you I thought you were beautiful?”

“You tell me that thirty times a day.” Emily laughed.

Alison moved her hand down against the front of Emily’s clavicle, around the side of her breast and down over her stomach. Her palm landed right above her bellybutton.

“I meant… _more_ beautiful.”

Emily couldn’t help but smile. They shared a quiet moment. Alison slowly dropped her hand.

“Thank you,” Emily said.

“For what?”

“For tonight. For not judging me. It’s been hard for me these past few months.” She’d found solace in her normal routine. Swimming. Her bike. Kickboxing. Soon she was going to have to give up some of the things she loved in order to shift that love to her child. “It was really isolating after I cut Isaac out of my life. I had his parents hating me and my own judging me. And I’ve been completely in my head about the baby. I know laying all this on you is intense…”

“I _want_ you to be able to talk to me.” Alison interrupted her. “I’ve never really had anyone I connect to with like you.”

“Me too.” Emily smiled. Her bottom lip quivered just the slightest bit. “But I want you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t let this be something that makes you lose focus of your future. I’m sure you had plans before you met me. Don’t plan your life around me just because I’m pregnant.”

“Sorry. Can’t make that promise,” Alison said.

“You said _anything_.” Emily reminded her.

“I obviously lied. Duh.” She smiled before standing on her tiptoes to plant a peck on Emily’s lips. She pushed her forehead against Emily’s.

They embraced the moment for a few seconds before Alison let go of her hand and reached for the front door.

After Alison walked into her house she moved the blinds aside and watched as Emily turned and walked away. She let out a content sigh. For a moment, she felt like she was in an epic love story. Darcy and Elizabeth. Scarlett and Rhett. Pip and Estella.

The dream was shattered by the sound of her mother’s drunken snores on the couch. Alison walked through the foyer and found her mother twisted up on the couch, her neck hanging over the arm of it at a crooked angle. It looked immensely uncomfortable. There was a wine glass resting in between her breast and her arm. On the table next to the couch was half a bottle of Vodka and an empty bottle of wine.

Her mom usually only drank heavily when she was fighting with her dad. Alison knew they probably weren’t fighting over her, so it was probably about another one of her father’s whores.

Alison walked over to her. She reached down to pick up the wine glass and her mother slid down against the couch. Alison rolled her on to her side, just in case she threw up. She propped her head up with a pillow and pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch and covered her up.

She heard a cabinet slam in the kitchen. A few seconds later her father walked in with a glass of liquor in his hand. He took a sip and looked at her.

“You’re home late,” he said. “You meeting up with another older man? Hear that’s your flavor of the week these days.”

And there it was. It was her fault. It was automatically her fault. Instead of feeling dejected or sad, she raged back.

“You’re one to talk. How long ago did your new girlfriend graduate from high school?” Alison sneered.

“You sound just like your mother.” He rolled his eyes.

Alison waited for him to blow up at her, but he just took another sip of his drink. He stared at her for a few minutes and then walked towards the stairs.

Alison hadn’t really expected him to care about what she’d gone through at school, but she didn’t expect him to be so callous either. She watched him ascend the stairs. She listened to the sound of his receding footsteps and then the sound of his door slamming shut.

She pulled Emily’s jacket around her body and closed her eyes, swimming in her scent. It made her feel better.

She walked over to the window next to the front door again and peeked outside to see if Emily had made it home. She didn’t see the light on in her window yet.

After Emily had made sure Alison was safely inside she’d walked home, but she hadn’t gone in yet. Instead, she walked around to the side of her house. She was staring up at her bedroom. She had climbed out her window to escape earlier. She knew her parents would hear her if she came in through the front door.

There was a trellis that was lining part of the house. It was overflowing with greenery, but Emily could still see the little footholds. She climbed up as far as she could go and then reached for a tree branch that would lead her up to her window. She made it inside without a problem.

As she was quietly sliding her window shut she heard a clicking noise behind her. Light flooded her room. Her mind instantly went to the texts she’d been getting. She instinctively grabbed a pair of scissors that were on her desk next to the window and arced them through the air.

By the time she saw her dad’s face it was too late to stop her forward momentum. Fortunately, he dodged the weapon and maneuvered around his daughter, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to drop the scissors.

Emily went limp in his hold and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Easy.” He gripped her wrist, slowly letting her go. “What’s got you so jumpy?”

“Sorry. It was…I…” She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. “Sorry. You were creeping around in the dark.”

“Funny you should say that.” He frowned. “Considering you were doing the same thing. What were you doing out?”

Emily plopped down against the edge of her bed. She couldn’t lie to her father. Not anymore. It was too exhausting.

“How did you know?” She reached down to unlace her boots.

“Because you’re your father’s child. You know, I was wild, too. Gave my parents grey hair before their time.” He sat down next to her. “What is going on with you, kid? This isn’t like you.”

“I’ve changed, dad. I’ve changed a lot.”

“I realize that. But I feel like you’re pulling away. I thought…” He sighed. “I thought we were making progress.”

“You and mom are the ones who want me out.”

“Emmy, that’s not…” He huffed and reached up and rubbed his eyebrow. “You understand that it’s not because you’re…” He paused. He still had trouble saying it. It hurt worse when she saw his hesitation. She expected it from her mom. But her dad was her hero, “…gay. And it’s not because of the baby. We’ve talked about this. We had this decision lined up long before any of this happened. You know your Ma and I are going to help you in every way we can, but you need to figure things out on your own when you graduate. When I was eighteen…”

“Yeah, yeah…your old man said it was either the army or bust.”

Her dad laughed. He’d told the story so many times that he wasn’t surprised she could recite it back without even thinking.

“I was pissed at him, too. But I did something with my feelings. And it made me into the man I am today. And I know…I _know_ you’re just as strong as I was. You’re probably stronger. This world won’t break you, baby girl. You’re going to learn from it.”

Emily nodded nonsensically. She’d heard the speech before. It was a rite of passage. Her parents came from a generation that liked to boast about how they’d had to tough things out and “pull themselves up by their bootstraps”. It was different for her generation, but her mom and dad didn’t see it that way. They believed that everyone could find opportunity if they looked hard enough. In a way, they were trying to push Emily to become the best version of herself. They didn’t realize how stressful it was because of the economy and the rate of inflation. Her money concerns were the only reason she’d taken the hush money from Isaac’s dad. She’d wanted a little nest egg.

“We’re not leaving you out in the cold. We’re going to do what we can.”

Emily had heard it a dozen times. It felt like empty promises, though she knew that her parents loved her. And she knew that it was the truth on some level.

“We want to be a part of your life again,” he said. “Don’t shut us out.”

He’d seen her disappear into herself halfway into her sophomore year. He didn’t understand why until after she told them everything. Everything had changed for her after Maya had been shipped away.

“I’m trying,” Emily said.

“So are we,” her dad reminded her.

“I know.”

“So where were you?” He questioned.

“Alison needed me.”

He didn’t react outwardly. But she could see something in his eyes. Emily could tell he was processing.

“You two have gotten close.” He looked up at her vision board. There was a new photo of her and Alison on display. It was the selfie they’d taken at the canyon the morning after Alison stayed over. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“She is.”

There was a beat.

“Are things…physical?” he asked. She could tell he was uncomfortable, but he tried to hide it.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “But even if they were at least you don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant.”

He glared disapprovingly. Emily gave him a smart-ass smile. He rolled his eyes. She’d gotten her dramatic flair from her mother.

“Does she know?” He faced her.

“She does now.”

“Just tread carefully. You have a lot going on right now.” He rubbed her arm.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. He didn’t even know the half of it.

“You want to talk about it?”

“I’m kind of tired. Maybe later?” Emily suggested.

“I’ve got a twelve hour shift tomorrow, but your mom will be home early…”

“I can’t talk to mom about this stuff.” Emily squirmed in discomfort. She couldn’t really talk to anyone about how she was feeling. She was still learning to open up. “Please don’t tell her about all of this.”

He sighed.

“I really wish you wouldn’t put me in the middle. You two need to learn how to communicate.”

“How can I communicate with ‘you’re wrong for being gay and pregnant’?”

“Emily, your mother is trying. This goes against everything she’s ever believed in. It’s not easy for her. You are her little girl…”

“ _Was_.” Emily corrected him.

He sighed again. He had such a despondent look on his face. Emily reached up and scratched her brow.

“Do you and mom hate me?”

“What?” he seemed taken aback by the question. “No. Of course not.” He instinctively pulled her in for a hug. He pulled back and pushed some hair out of her face. “We’re trying to understand why…” He lost his train of thought as he tried to choose his words carefully. “Why you are…the way you are.”

It was the wrong thing to say, but he didn’t realize it. He didn’t realize how much it hurt her to hear it. Emily clenched her jaw to fight back tears of frustration. She didn’t understand why it was so hard for her parents to accept who she was, and not question _why_. Because it wasn’t something that needed an explanation.

“We don’t love you any less,” he said, his words sounding like a promise that she’d wanted to hear for so long. He reached up and ran his fingers against his buzzcut. “This isn’t coming out right.” He could sense she was upset. “The important thing is…” He put his fingers underneath her chin and forced her to look up at him, “…we love you, baby. We always will.”

Emily nodded. She believed him.

“We’ll talk punishment tomorrow.” He stood up.

“Okay.” She didn’t argue. She had nothing to argue about. Sneaking out was the best thing that could have happened to her. She would take whatever punishment they could dole out. It was worth it to have the night she’d had with Alison.

He walked towards the door. He paused when he reached the hallway. He glanced back at her.

“What you did today at school…with that teacher…”

“I won’t do it again.”

“Good.” He nodded firmly. He reached for the doorknob, but then paused and looked at her. “Emmy…I’m proud of you. Don’t tell your mother I said this, but I would have pummeled the shit out of that piece of trash, too. I’m glad you did it.”

Emily huffed out a laugh. She hadn’t been expecting to hear that. She smiled at him as he closed her door. After he disappeared she looked at a photo she had on her vision board of her dad holding her on his shoulders. She was five. And she loved her daddy. The relationship she had with her dad couldn’t compare to anything else in the world.

Emily fell back against her bed, exhausted. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at it for the first time in hours. She had forgotten it existed when she was with Alison.

She unlocked the screen, getting ready to compose a text to Alison to tell her to have a good night. Several messages popped up. The first message was from her cyberbully.

**_Careful, Daredevil. The more you keep living life on the edge the easier it will be for me to push you over it._ **

It didn’t faze her. After the night she’d had with Alison, nothing could ruin her high. She laid in bed, her thoughts racing. She had spilled her guts. To Alison DiLaurentis. She hadn’t been planning on telling _anyone_ until it got impossible for her to hide. She had even planned out a wardrobe for her later months. It consisted of a lot of oversized sweatshirts.

But she knew she couldn’t lie to Alison, not when they were getting so close. A baby wasn’t something she could just spring on her. She had her doubts that Alison would really want to stick around, but she wanted to see where their relationship took them. Even if it ended in heartbreak, it would be worth it.

Emily’s phone chimed. She picked it up and glanced at the screen. She wasn’t surprised to see Isaac’s number. She hadn’t told Alison that Isaac texted her every day. She felt particularly emotional about hearing from him now that she’d told Alison about the baby.

His text for the day didn’t help ease her guilt.

**_The stars are really pretty tonight._ **

Stars that she had enjoyed with Alison. Stars that she had kissed Alison under…and told her things, _intimate_ things. She’d never had that with him. That was the difference between a best friend and a lover. Intimacy. Feelings. Her relationship with Isaac had been a charade...a lie she wanted her parents to believe. It was a shitty thing to do to her best friend.

She read the rest of his message.

**_Made me kind of sad. It’s too quiet here now. That sounds so emo, but it’s true. I still think about you a lot. You’re probably some big shot celebrity in that teeny toon town with your purple hair and your motorcycle, but hopefully you haven’t forgotten the little people._ **

There was a pause. Then three little ellipses indicating that he was still typing. Emily thought about just putting the phone away, but she felt obligated to read the rest of his message. She _was_ having his kid. Her heart felt a twinge of pain when she read the rest of it.

**_You might be tired of hearing from me, but I’m never going to give up. I don’t know what happened for you to end up hating me so much, but I miss you._ **

“I am a terrible person.” Emily uttered to herself.

She thought about what Alison had told her about how she deserved time to figure things out. But she still felt like an asshole. Because she _was_ an asshole.

She couldn’t stand ghosting him. She couldn’t stand to let him think it was his fault. So she did something she’d swore to his parents that she’d never do again. She talked to him.

**_I don’t hate you, Isaac._ **

**_OMG, she lives!_ **

**_I’m sorry. There’s just a lot going on right now._ **

**_No kidding. Since when do you go rogue on teachers? People back here are talking about building a shrine to you. That video was epic._ **

**_My parents didn’t think so._ **

**_Lol. Grounded for life? How’ve you been otherwise?_ **

Pregnant. Tired. Dating someone else. Lying to him. Lamenting about not swimming or going to college. Staring at his parents’ hush money in the bank.

**_I’ve been okay. I’m still trying to find my footing. You?_ **

**_Not bad. Courtney is driving me insane. You’d think that now that she’s the anchor on the swim team she’d be a little happy. You’re so lucky you’re an only child._ **

**_Come on, you can’t hate her that much…_ **

She’d never told Isaac that Courtney had been keen on drowning her at the pool or about how she held their secret kiss over her head. Or about the many threats she’d doled out. She’d never bad-mouthed his sister, because despite the fact that he bitched about her, she was still his sister.

**_Do you even remember my sister? The girl who put gum in my hair freshman year ‘just because’? She’s insufferable now that Nick has moved away._ **

**_You talked to him lately?_ **

**_Yeah. He seems to be happy in the big apple. He says he’s really enjoying his engineering and IT classes._ **

She wasn’t surprised to hear that. Nick had always had an affinity for technology. He had always been smarter than he let on. He also had an abundance of money, because his family was rich. He didn’t have to worry about the out-of-state tuition. She remembered hearing him talking to Courtney about going to school out of the country. Courtney had flipped out.

She saw another message from Isaac,

**_You’d know these things if you didn’t leave me on read…_ **

It was a fair shot. She’d deserved it.

**_Okay. Okay. I hear you._ **

**_Thank God you still have ears to hear me. I thought you’d been sucked into a black hole or something._ **

**_Ha, no. No space travels for me._ **

**_So, where have you been?_ **

Emily struggled to come up with the right response. Because “busy” would just make her look like a bitch who didn’t have time for him.

Before she could respond, he added on to his message,

**_Is it weird? It’s weird, right? Going back to being friends? Is that what this is about?_ **

“It’s weird because I’m having your friggin baby…” She stared at the phone.

But she couldn’t tell him. Not even if she wanted to. But there was something else she could use to explain why she’d been distant.

**_I need to be honest with you about something…_ **

**_Oh. That’s never good. Should I sit down for this?_ **

She wanted to tell him she was gay, but that kind of thing felt like something she needed to do in person. Not to mention he would have a million questions that she didn’t have the answers to.

She bit her lip as she swiped her fingers against her screen.

**_I’m dating someone._ **

She braced herself for his response. She wasn’t prepared for what she got.

**_And you thought I’d be pissed? Come on, you know me better than that. I’m happy for you, Em._ **

His response made her hate herself. He was too pure for her.

She saw another message pop up.

**_All I want is for you to be happy. Are you happy?_ **

“Complicated question…” But she was. She was happier than she’d been in a long time. She was happier than she’d been with him.

**_I am._ **

**_So then be happy. I didn’t expect you to be a miserable old spinster forever. Do your thing. But know that if the little punk ass breaks your heart I’ll be breaking some bones…_ **

**_I’m perfectly capable of punching my own bullies._ **

**_No shit. That teacher you slugged probably felt it in his toes._ **

Emily sent a line of emojis ranging from strong arms to bandages and smug faces. He followed up with a bunch of laughing emojis. After a few minutes Emily wrote another message.

**_Hey Isaac?_ **

**_Hey Emily?_ **

**_I’m glad we had this talk._ **

**_Don’t be a stranger Em. I’m still going to bug you every day._ **

**_You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t._ **

He seemed to get the memo that their conversation was at its end and he let it go naturally. Emily wasn’t sure whether to feel better or worse now that she’d talked to him.

She’d made it more complicated because now the channels of communication were back open. How the hell was she supposed to continue to lie about her pregnancy?

She stared at her ceiling, and all she could think about was the stars. Not because Isaac had mentioned them, but because of what she’d felt when she’d kissed Alison underneath them. She’d been telling herself it was just the pregnancy hormones, but tonight she’d felt something different…something that left her smiling like a complete dope.

Her phone blinked and alerted her to a new text. Her smile widened. Because in some wild twist of fate, it’s like the universe knew she was thinking about her…and the universe sent her exactly what she wanted.

**_Hey, pretty mama. I just wanted you to know that I meant everything I said tonight. I know this is a lot for you and I know you’re probably tossing & turning in your bed because you don’t know if telling me was the right thing. For the record, I think it was. This doesn’t change anything. Except I might nag you a little more._ **

Emily felt a warm feeling flowing through her chest. She smiled at her phone.

**_And I’ll just ignore you a little more._ **

**_Charming as always._ **

**_Thank you for listening to me. I haven’t had anyone to talk to about this._ **

**_Well, now you have me. And you know I’ll give you my opinion._ **

**_Oh, I don’t doubt that._ **

**_Get some sleep, Em._ **

**_I haven’t slept in months._ **

**_Goodnight, Hell’s Angel._ **

**_Goodnight, Uptown Girl._ **

* * *

The next day they walked into school hand-in-hand, leaving no room for doubt that they were together. It hadn’t exactly been a secret. They’d been very affectionate with each other since the kissing rock. But they walked in so assuredly and so confidently that _everyone_ knew. They walked over to the table they always shared with their friends at breakfast.

Spencer and Mona were quizzing one another for an academic decathlon. Aria and Hanna were going over their notes from Trig.

“God, who cares who signs or cosigns things? I’m going to be married to an IT genius who makes bank, so I don’t even need to worry about this crap.”

Spencer looked up from her notes and faced her friend.

“Hanna, that’s not…” She shook her head, “…those words don’t mean what you think they mean. It’s _sin_ and _cosine_.”

“It’s a waste of time is what it is.” Hanna closed her book in a huff.

“Don’t go off on a _tangent._ ” Aria teased her.

“Wow, Ar, that was bad…even for you.” Emily pulled out a chair for Alison to sit down.

The girls noticed that Emily and Alison were holding hands. Alison smiled at Emily before she sat down. Emily sat next to her. She grabbed her phone, not paying any attention to the rest of the girls gawking at them.

“Wait, when did this happen?” Spencer questioned, pointing to the two of them.

“Spencer _‘The Brain’_ Hastings couldn’t figure that out before now?” Aria pushed her arm playfully.

“They’ve been hooking up in the supply closet for weeks.” Hanna grabbed her coffee and took a sip. “You know, Spence, for someone so smart you really can be dense sometimes.”

“We were just waiting on the official word.” Aria shrugged. “So, is it official?”

Alison and Emily both smiled bashfully. Alison had a hint of pride on her face. Emily looked like she hated the attention, but at the same time she didn’t really care.

“It’s about time.” Hanna didn’t look the least bit surprised. “I knew the day Emily dragged you here to sit with us.”

“Yeah, about that…I know that I’ve done a lot of horrible crap to you all over the years. I’ve hurt you all. And I know I can’t undo everything, and I don’t expect you to like me after a few weeks of us playing nice at lunch. But I want you to know that I’m going to work hard this year to prove to you that I really do want to change.”

The girls looked at one another, none of them certain what to say. Mona looked indifferent. Hanna looked annoyed. Aria seemed to be processing it quietly. Spencer’s face was the hardest to read.

Alison hadn’t been expecting a warm reception, but it still irritated her that no one encouraged her. Then again, she hadn’t done anything to warrant their forgiveness. As far as they knew, she was just being nice because of Emily. It was partly true. She had to admit that to herself. She knew she was going to have to work to get into their good graces. She had done a lot to atone for.

She glanced at Mona. The petite brunette had been the target of her hatred since middle school. She’d badgered her about her homely clothes and big bulky glasses and dorky hairstyles relentlessly. She’d torn down Mona’s self-esteem all because Mona had made her look stupid in class one day. After that Alison felt the need to torment her because she felt the need to be powerful. She had parents that were practically robots and a brother with problematic friends who were constantly trying to get her to do things she was uncomfortable with. And she took that out on everyone around her. She understood that now.

“Mona, what you did yesterday…with Wilden…” She glanced at the ground uncomfortably. “Thank you…for standing with me.”

“It wasn’t for you.” Mona coolly scooped a bite of her breakfast into her mouth. “Besides, you may be a terrible person, but no one deserves to feel like a nothing. He was a creep and deserves everything that’s coming to him.”

“I am really sorry you were going through that, too.” Alison bit her lip. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.” She heaved out a sigh. Mona was surprised by her sincerity. “I was awful to you.” She fidgeted in her chair. She knew it was going to be uncomfortable, but she wanted to show Emily that she was mature. Mona didn’t move. Her face was unreadable. “The things I said…the things I did…I can’t take them back. I wish I could. I regret so much. But I don’t regret anything as much as how poorly I treated you. You didn’t deserve anything I did to you.”

Mona nodded, taking it in. Her expression never faltered.

“I appreciate that.” She didn’t say ‘I forgive you’, but she didn’t completely shut down her apology either.

There was an awkward beat of silence.

“So, slugger, how’s the hand?” Spencer pointed to Emily’s hand.

“I think they’re going to be able to save it.” Emily flexed her bruised knuckles. She hadn’t realized how hard she’d punched Wilden until she woke up to find her hand purple and blue. She’d be a little sore the next few times she boxed, but she wasn’t fretting it. “It looks worse than it is.”

“I’m a nonviolent person, but I would have gladly held him down and let you have more than one go at his face if I was there.” Aria reached for her drink.

“Your mom is a hero for letting me go when she heard the truth.” Emily smiled.

“She insists it was just shock, but I’ve seen her in savage mode.”

“Your _mom_ has a savage mode?” Hanna scoffed. “The same woman who made us sit in a circle and talk about our feelings on the first day of ninth grade?”

“Oh, she can be a beast when she’s mad.”

“Guess it runs in the family,” Emily said.

“Mike was quite the cheerleader,” Mona said.

“Yeah, he said he tried to take a swing at him, too.” Aria glanced at Emily. “Emily probably hits harder.”

“Maybe Em can set them up and Mike can knock them down.” Spencer chuckled.

“I don’t know about Mike, but I’ve got to be on my very best behavior.” Emily glanced at the clock. She stood up. “I’ve got to run. The office has my paperwork. I start day one of my prison sentence today.”

“Be brave, honey. Don’t let the lifers intimidate you.” Alison frowned when Emily pulled her hand away. Her frown quickly dissipated when she felt Emily’s lips against hers.

“You’re ridiculous.” Emily pulled back with a grin.

Everyone at the table smirked at one another. Spencer “oohed” like a child on the playground. Emily turned to face her and laughed.

“I’ll wait for you on the outside for as long as it takes.” Alison sounded like a wife who was losing her better half to a war.

“And I promise that I won’t pick a prison wife prettier than you.” Emily lifted her brows and turned towards the hallway.

There was a beat. Alison saw everyone at the table snickering.

“That was a joke, right?” Alison called after her. “You’re joking?”

Emily didn’t answer her. She just smirked at her and turned around to walk away.

“Emily Fields, don’t you walk away while I’m asking you a question!” She chased after her.

“Guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship.” Hanna muttered.

“I always knew it would take a strong person to break her in.” Spencer watched Alison stop near the edge of the cafeteria.

Alison shook her head with a laugh, because it was _very_ Emily Fields for Emily to just walk off and leave her pining for more. She grabbed her phone and texted Emily.

**_Bad girls don’t get to eat tacos with their girlfriend._ **

She stared at her phone waiting for a response. When she didn’t get one right away she realized that Emily was playing with her.

She saw two shadows looming over her. When she looked up she saw two identical faces glaring back at her.

Cindy and Mindy had been avoiding her like the plague. They acted as if though they were going to catch “being uncool” just by being in her vicinity. After Alison had abandoned her roots at the cool club they had taken over.

“Can I help you?” Alison snorted with an attitude.

“We heard your new girlfriend went psycho on Wilden.” Cindy glared angrily at Alison, like it was her fault. “Thanks a lot, Alison. You two got rid of the only piece of eye candy this school had.”

“Yeah, never mind that he was a psycho predator.” Alison rolled her eyes. “As long as he’s cute, right?”

“We all know you were making it up for attention.” Mindy backed her sister up.

Alison felt like punching her in her stupid face. She wondered if Emily had gotten satisfaction after punching Wilden. Alison had never punched anybody. She’d slapped plenty of people. She’d slapped her brother all the time. But she’d never felt the rush of a fist making contact with someone’s face.

She took a split second to consider just swinging wildly at the twins, but then she thought about the bruises on Emily’s knuckles. And she decided to fight fire with water instead of more fire.

“What about the other dozen girls? Did they do the same? Did they make it up for attention, too?” Alison refused to back down, not from Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.

“You probably paid them off.” Cindy scoffed.

“People like you two set the women’s movement back a hundred years.” Alison spit hatefully. “You’re the reason idiots should use birth control.”

“We’re the product of _your_ upbringing. _You_ picked _us_ , remember?” Mindy asked. “Everything we learned we learned from you.”

“I’m not your fucking mommy.” And if she was she would be spanking the hell out of them. “Besides…learning is an ongoing process. And maybe it’s time to grow up.” Alison glanced at her table of losers. Only they weren’t losers. Not really. She’d dubbed them losers, but that didn’t make them any less important than the self-proclaimed “cool kids”.

“It’s not too late.” Cindy smirked. She looked at Mona and Hanna, who were picking up their trash to toss into the garbage. “You can prove you’re still one of us.” She handed her smoothie over to Alison. “Loser Mona is due for a little makeover, don’t you think?”

“Grow up. Seriously.” Alison snapped.

“Hey, either you do it, or we will.” Mindy teasingly tipped her smoothie forward.

“Leave them alone.” Alison threatened.

“You’ve gone soft, Alison.” Cindy shook her head and clucked her tongue.

“Keep talking and see how _soft_ I am.” Alison stepped up to them in a threatening manner.

“Your biker bitch isn’t here. What are _you_ going to do?” Mindy asked.

Alison heaved out a heavy breath, snorting angrily. They were testing her. And she knew it. She could feel her anger inside bubbling to the surface. It was just like she told Emily. Her ire always got the better of her. She could feel herself losing control.

“Never thought I’d see the day that Alison DiLaurentis went belly up for some knock-off Brat Pack and a poser on a bike.”

“Do _not_ talk about my girlfriend like that.”

“Or what?” Cindy took a step forward, pushing her face into Alison’s. She gave her a menacing glance.

“I suggest that you get out of my face.” Alison lowered her voice to a threatening growl. She clutched the smoothie in her hand so hard it nearly spilled out of the cup.

“Why? Are you going to tattle to your little guard dog?” Cindy asked. She rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you dumped us for Trailer Trash Barbie.”

Alison didn’t even think about her reaction. She just did it. Her hand moved on its own accord. She flung the drink towards the twins and swirl of red and pink juice flew through the air and splattered all over Cindy and Mindy. Mindy stumbled backwards and cried out in disgust. Cindy started whining about her clothes.

They heard laughter behind them. Hanna was nearly doubled over in hysterics. Mona and Aria were both giggling. Spencer looked impressed.

“You bitch!” Mindy shrieked.

She moved forward like she was going to hit Alison, but Alison instinctively threw her palms forward and shoved her. She pulled back her hand and made a fist and took the stance that Emily had taught her at the gym.

She didn’t have to throw a punch, because Mindy’s foot slipped on the liquid that had splashed on the ground around them. She fell flat on her ass. The laughter in the cafeteria grew louder.

Cindy stared at her twin. Mindy glared up at her.

“Don’t just stare at me you idiot. Help me!” She ordered.

Cindy helped her to her feet. They both turned to look at Alison, who had slowly backed off. She tossed the cup in the garbage and then looked at the twins.

“I am so much better off without you morons.” Alison shook her head. She stepped closer to them. “And if you step to me again you better be _really_ sure you want to go toe-to-toe with me. There is a new Alison DiLaurentis that runs this school.” She ran her fingers across some of the frosty fruit dripping down Cindy’s face. She tasted it and grinned at her. “Don’t mess with me.”

“You’re going to regret this Alison,” Cindy snarled. “We’ll get you back for this.”

“I’m shaking in my stilettos.” Alison wasn’t intimidated. “Bring it on, twig.”

Cindy didn’t have a chance to respond. They heard footsteps approaching. Mrs. Montgomery walked into view. The first thing she saw was the mess.

“What happened here?” Mrs. Montgomery asked.

“Cindy wasn’t looking where she was going.” Alison replied innocently, reaching for some napkins and handing them to her now mortal enemies.

She stared at them, _daring_ them to say something. The twins hated her, but she knew they weren’t rats. Mindy smiled at the teacher and called herself a klutz. Cindy followed it up with a _“she was always the less coordinated one.”_

Alison walked away in satisfaction. She could feel Cindy and Mindy glaring at the back of her head, but she didn’t care.

Alison pulled her phone out to text Emily about what had just happened, and right below her message, **_“Bad girls don’t get to eat tacos with their girlfriend”_** was Emily’s reply,

**_Oh, no. Whatever shall I eat instead? How about just the girlfriend?_ **

It had been followed up by a grinning devil face and several _suggestive_ emojis. Alison burst out laughing in the middle of the cafeteria. She liked the way her life was going senior year. She liked the new her.

What she didn’t like was having to survive Econ and English without Emily for an entire week. Emily’s in-school suspension felt like a punishment for both of them. The punishment seemed far worse because Emily wasn’t just in trouble at school. Her dad had told her she could only go to school and work for the rest of the week because she snuck out.

Alison lamented over the fact that it was going to be an entirely different month by the time they were back in the same classes again.

She saw flyers for the Halloween dance posted everywhere, which was just a reminder that September was ending.

They survived their separation at school by spending as much time together as they could after school when Emily was at work. She hung around the front desk when she was working and went to the kickboxing area with her when she worked out.

She loved watching the brunette work up a sweat, but her eyes couldn’t help but drift to Emily’s stomach. Now that she knew she was looking at a mother-to-be she could see the tiny growing pouch. She watched Emily’s footwork in awe, wondering if she was going to keep it up when she was further along.

Alison tried not to let Emily’s pregnancy define her, but she found herself being overprotective and more nitpicky about everything they did. She triple checked to make sure that Emily’s coffees were decaf. She texted her religiously about taking her vitamins. She was careful when she held her waist when they were riding on Emily’s motorcycle.

The one thing that the pregnancy hadn’t changed was the intensity of their make-out sessions. In fact, if anything, they were getting increasingly more passionate. Alison loved touching her and holding her. Emily used so much cocoa butter that her skin felt like satin. It was easy for Alison to get lost in the scent of her. Emily was skilled in every sense. Her mouth. Her tongue. Her hands. Alison felt like she could get lost in her touch for days. She was content to spend every minute of every hour of every day with her.

Emily Fields was a Goddess. A siren. And Alison was completely under her tantalizing mermaid’s spell.

* * *

October brought an entirely different mood for them. The days started to feel shorter and the nights felt longer. They spent a lot of time in Alison’s treehouse. Emily was still working on getting her own place. Sabrina had put in a good word for her at the apartment complex, so she was on the wait list. She’d lucked out because most places wouldn’t let anyone under eighteen sign the lease agreement, but since she had a job and Sabrina’s recommendation and she was only a few months shy of turning eighteen, they’d accepted her application.

Being alone together wasn’t a foreign concept. Alison’s parents weren’t home very much, and they were never home after school. Every time they studied in Alison’s empty house it turned into who could hold out kissing who the longest. Emily was really good at holding out. She was also really good at getting Alison to pine after her. She hovered over her when they were doing their Econ homework. They were so close that when Alison turned to ask her a question their lips were just inches apart.

Alison stared at Emily. She knew exactly what she was doing.

 _Such a tease._ Alison couldn’t help but grin.

“I’ve had about enough of supply and demand.” Alison slapped the book closed.

“I think it depends on what the supply is.” Emily lifted her eyebrows and grinned. She knew that Alison was seconds away from breaking.

Alison leaned forward, her lips hovering over Emily’s. She held her position for several seconds, but instead of kissing her she pulled back and stood up.

“Want something to drink?” Alison asked.

“Vodka. Neat. Hold the olive.”

“Funny.”

She didn’t know what to do with her sexual energy so she walked across the room to the piano to play. Not to be outdone, Emily followed her, taking a seat next to her. She often sat close to her when Alison played. She liked watching her fingers against the keys and seeing the serene expression on her face.

Alison tried to ignore her as she played a familiar melody. Emily closed her eyes and nodded her head to the beat, which was one of the single sexiest things that she could have done. When she heard the rising crescendo and then the last part of the musical number fading into a soft oblivion she opened her eyes.

Alison turned to face her, pulling her fingers off the keys. She put one hand on Emily’s thigh, trying to entice her to kiss her.

“If you’re waiting for me to belt out an E-flat you’re wasting your time.” Emily smirked at her.

“Oh my God, just kiss me for God’s sake.” Alison begged.

“You first.”

That was all Alison needed to hear. She finally caved. She grabbed Emily’s cheek and mashed her lips against her mouth. After a few seconds she felt Emily pulling back. There was a strange look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Alison asked.

“Nothing.” Emily grimaced. “I’m just a little nauseous.”

“Way to boost my confidence in my lip-locking skills.”

Emily laughed softly and grabbed her hand.

“It should be called all-day-sickness instead of morning sickness. It always happens so randomly. The strangest things set it off. The other day at the gym Noel’s aftershave sent me running into the bathroom to hurl.”

“To be fair, Noel Kahn makes me want to puke on a normal day.” Alison shrugged.

She glanced at Emily’s stomach and then back at the piano. A thought occurred to her. She was certain it was a stupid thought, but she didn’t care about stupid thoughts when she was with Emily.

“Would it be weird if I asked if I could play a lullaby for the baby?”

“Considering I don’t know if the little peanut even has ears yet…yes…extremely.” Emily chuckled. “But I wouldn’t say no.”

Alison smiled at her and started playing something that sounded like _Brahms Lullaby_ , but she’d put a soft twist on it and mixed it with _Canon in D_. The two blended together so seamlessly. Emily wasn’t sure how she did it. She was transfixed by the music. She watched as Alison’s fingers hit every mark.

The song lasted for close to four minutes. It was the most relaxing four minutes Emily had since she’d moved back to town. She’d been constantly worried about things…unable to stop herself from thinking about things. But this…Alison’s music, it helped.

Alison pulled her hands away from the keys when she was done. She clapped her hands together and wiggled her fingers and then turned to face Emily.

“Was that an original composure?” Emily questioned.

“I wrote it the night I found out about the baby.” She admitted. She hadn’t had much else to do with two drunk parents lounging around the house. “I just felt artsy that night. Did you like it?”

“I loved it.” Emily touched her hand.

“How’s that nausea?” Alison asked.

“Better.” Emily smiled, kissing her gently.

They held the kiss without an issue this time. Alison mentally pretended that it was because of her music. She felt Emily’s fingers combing through her hair. They pulled back to breathe and Alison smiled at her.

Emily pecked her lips again. She hadn’t felt so alive with feelings since she’d kissed a girl for the first time. There were a lot of things in life that made her feel alive. Riding through the streets of town. The way she felt in the water any time she was swimming. The way her hands and feet were completely in sync when she was boxing. Little moments gave her life. But Alison gave her something she didn’t know she was missing. She gave breath to that life.

She stared at Alison’s eyes, which were bright and alert with a spark of passion. Her cheeks were bright red, painting her fair skin a perfect shade of pink. She kissed her again. And then again. Then she pulled back and smiled.

“I…um…I’ve got my first ultrasound Monday after school.” Emily peered down at Alison’s hand. “Would it be weird for me to ask you to go?”

“About as weird as playing the piano for someone who hasn’t been born yet.” Alison leaned forward and kissed her with a smile, echoing her earlier words back to her, “But I wouldn’t say no.”

They shared another kiss. Alison sighed happily.

“What does someone bring on a date to the baby doc? A diaper bag and bottles?”

“Only if those bottles have something good in them.”

“What’s the matter, cowgirl? You can stick your feet on bike pegs but not in stirrups?”

“You’re terrible. You’re a terrible person.” Emily laughed.

“But you like me anyway.”

“I do.” Emily smiled. She leaned close to Alison, her lips ghosting over her cheek. “I like your dimples.” She placed a gentle kiss against the tiny indentation on her cheek. She moved down, trailing kisses against her jaw down to her pulse point, sending chills up Alison’s spine. “I like your soft skin.” She moved up to her lips. “And my favorite part of you…” She placed her palm against the side of Alison’s neck and observed her perfectly heart shaped lips before kissing them.

She could not get enough of kissing Alison. And Alison couldn’t get enough of kissing her. She felt Emily’s other hand sliding down against her side, landing near the hem of her shirt. Her fingers tickled Alison’s skin as she slowly moved them in towards her torso.

Alison pulled back just enough to mumble against her lips,

“Couch.” She slowly pulled Emily off of the piano bench.

Emily stood up and moved backwards, still moving her lips against Alison’s. She spun them around when they got to the sofa, pushing Alison back against it. She crawled on top of her. The couch was surprisingly roomy. Alison felt Emily’s weight on top of her and she felt like melting into the cushions. She was so warm.

Alison gripped the backs of Emily’s thighs and pulled her against her as their lips smacked together. Emily pressed her tongue against Alison’s mouth and Alison met it with force. Their tongues clashed as their bodies melded together in a perfect rhythm.

Alison slipped one of her hands underneath Emily’s shirt, her fingers rolling over her stomach and up against her ribs. She left her hand against Emily’s warm skin, feeling the motion of her stomach and chest as she breathed heavily into their embrace.

She moved her hand up against Emily’s chest. She squeezed gently. She saw Emily squirm uncomfortably. She pulled back immediately.

“I’m sorry. I thought…”

“No, it’s okay.” Emily pecked her lips, no sign of slowing down. “They’re just tender.”

“Then I’ll kiss them and make them feel better.” Alison lifted her brows with a smirk.

The look on her face was driving Emily wild. She gripped Alison’s side, tickling her ribs as her fingers slowly moved up underneath her shirt. Alison shuddered into her mouth when she felt Emily’s fingertips grazing the underside of her lace bra.

Emily peered into Alison’s eyes. Alison smiled at her, daring her to do it. Emily moved her lips down against Alison’s pulse point and started sucking. Her fingers trailed Alison’s bra strap until she reached the clasp in the back. She popped the clasp with ease and Alison giggled.

Her giggle turned into a quiet mewl when Emily gently bit down on her neck. She took pride in leaving her mark on Alison. She quickly soothed the bite and moved her hand to the front of Alison’s chest, her palm squeezing and kneading. She slowly moved back to capture Alison’s lips again.

Alison gripped the back of Emily’s thigh tighter and slipped her fingers in between her legs, rubbing her through her jeans. She felt Emily shiver.

“Too fast?” Alison murmured against her lips.

Emily shook her head. In fact, her body was practically _screaming_ for it. She moved against Alison’s motions. Emily cupped her cheek and moved her thigh between Alison’s legs and put gentle pressure against her center. Alison’s back rose up off of the couch to meet her motions. She firmly pulled Emily down against her. Their foreheads met. Emily pushed a hard kiss against her mouth. She felt Alison’s heaving breath against her own.

Their lips stayed connected for several seconds before they had to stop to take a breath. Emily gazed down at Alison. Her blonde hair was splayed out around her face. Her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were full. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Alison linked her index finger into the front of Emily’s jeans, smiling at her. She moved her other hand to grip the hem of her pants, her fingers lingering over the button. She grinned at Emily and popped the button. She left her fingers against the zipper.

“Wanna try that cowgirl thing?”

Emily smirked as Alison dipped her fingers into her jeans. Emily felt her entire body buzzing in desire. Her muscles contracted and she let out a shuddering breath. Alison kept her eyes locked on Emily’s dark lustful gaze as she slid her fingers down between her thighs. Her skin felt like it was on fire. She could feel a heated moisture in between her panties and her jeans. Her jeans were so snug that Alison could barely maneuver her fingers. It was a tight fit, which made the pressure so intense that Emily almost collapsed on top of her.

Emily leaned down and kissed Alison with a fiery intensity that Alison could feel in her soul. She bit down on Alison’s lip, gently sucking on it as they both got lost in the moment.

They heard a car door slam outside and they both scrambled to sit up.

Alison ripped her fingers out of Emily’s pants. Emily pulled her hand away from Alison’s chest. Alison quickly straightened her hair and tried to make her bra look straight underneath her shirt. She wiped smeared lipstick off of her face.

Emily buttoned her jeans, though it was a bit of struggle to do so. It bothered her. She turned to Alison, but before she could say anything, Alison was licking her thumb and wiping the smeared lipstick off of Emily’s cheek and neck.

They had just gotten their bearings when Jason walked in the front door. Alison was pointing to something in the book in front of them and trying not to smile.

“The thing about supply and demand is…” Alison looked up at Jason. “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

“Hey.” He made a noise that barely constituted as a “hello” and then moved towards the stairs.

Alison shrugged and turned back to Emily. They smiled at one another.

“You two aren’t fooling anyone.” Jason smirked at them before bounding up the stairs. He faced Emily. “You break my little sister’s heart and I’ll take you out, Harley Quinn.”

“I respect that.” Emily nodded at him. “How about you do me a solid and make sure your little college buddies treat her with the class and the respect she deserves and not like some little cocktail waitress they get off drooling over?”

Alison froze. She had no idea how Jason was going to react. He was a loose cannon with a hell of a temper. He surprised her when he laughed.

“All right. Bet.” He glanced at Emily and then at Alison. “I like her.” He grabbed the banister and took the stairs two at a time, hopping up them with ease.

Alison stared at Emily in surprise with her jaw wide open. She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to yell at her or rip her clothes off and kiss every square inch of her body.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“I’m not going to apologize.” Emily pressed the wrinkles out of her shirt. “From what you’ve told me his friends are total tools. You’ve had enough of grown men being assholes to you.”

“It was _really_ hot.” Alison leaned forward. She reached up to grab the collar of Emily’s shirt and pulled her in for a kiss. “I love it when you go all _streetfighter_ on people. If he wasn’t here right now I would drag you to my room and have my way with you.”

Emily chuckled, kissing her back.

“You do realize he’s got his earbuds in by now?” Emily said suggestively. Her insides were still pulsing in time to the beat of her heart.

“Don’t you tempt me.”

Emily shrugged, but then she moved back. She glanced at the time.

“Another time. I’ve gotta go. I’ve got work. And _you_ have to study for your SATs.” She slid Alison’s books over to her.

“You tease.” Alison frowned.

Emily grabbed her bag and stood up. Alison stood with her.

“I’ll call you tonight.” She gave her a quick goodbye kiss.

Alison walked her to the door. They kissed goodbye and Emily walked out the door and jogged down the porch steps. She grabbed her helmet and hopped on her bike. The pressure of the seat against her made her realize how sensitive she still was from Alison’s touch. She took a few deep breaths and then grabbed her phone to text Toby to let him know that she was on the way. She saw a text from Isaac.

**_Swim team lost their meet this week. Their new anchor is no Emily Fields. Sports at this school officially suck without you. Even my practices have suffered. There is no one around to check the rest of the guys for being dumbasses. I’d pay good money to have you back here._ **

Though it was a joke, the money suggestion struck a nerve. She’d already taken his family’s money.

She glanced at Isaac’s text and then looked back at Alison’s house. She’d been obsessing about the ultrasound since she’d made the appointment. The entire time she’d been trying to gather up the courage to ask Alison to go. It hadn’t even dawned on her to ask Isaac. Because he still didn’t know.

Part of her wanted to give the money back to his parents so she didn’t have to live a lie. She wanted to tell him. He deserved to know. But the other part of her didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want to disrupt his life. He had aspirations for college. He had a future. His parents had reminded her of that at least a dozen times when they were bribing her not to say anything. They’d made it perfectly clear that they blamed Emily and they wouldn’t allow her to disrupt their son’s life with _“her mistakes”_. It was such a double standard. It was always the woman’s fault when they got pregnant. No one ever blamed the men.

She thought she was going to have to go at it alone, but things felt different now that Alison was involved. The feelings they had for one another were intense, but Emily still had reservations. She knew the baby was going to be a huge responsibility. It was overwhelming to think about. She had wanted different things before the pregnancy. But she wasn’t quite sure what she wanted for her future now.

Regardless of what she decided she knew her entire life was going to change, which meant that Alison’s life was going to change, too. It begged the question...would their relationship get in the way of Alison’s future? What about her hopes and dreams and aspirations? Was the risk of upsetting Alison’s life worth it?

Deep down, Emily knew the answer. But her heart and her brain were at odds. Because her brain knew the responsible thing to do. But her heart didn’t care. Her heart had already made up its mind.

She had fallen for Alison DiLaurentis. And there were no choices in love. It’s why it was called _falling in love_ , because once someone started to fall...they couldn’t stop themselves. Gravity was a force of physics. And so, by nature, was love.


	9. What Friends Are For

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

**What Friends Are For**

The day before her ultrasound Emily took a ride with Toby to clear her head. She felt guilty for keeping it from him, especially since he’d gone out on a limb to get her a job. She wasn’t sure how her boss and coworkers were going to take it when they found out. How was she supposed to ask for time off when the baby was born when she’d _just_ started working there?

They parked their bikes near an apple orchard. Emily had wanted to check it out so she could plan a date with Alison. She wanted to make sure the ride wasn’t too rough. Alison wouldn’t admit it, but Emily could tell that sometimes she still got scared when they were turning down winding roads or going up and down hills. The potholes didn’t help. Emily knew how to avoid them, but Alison always complained when she saw them. She always held on to Emily’s waist a little tighter when she was afraid, which didn’t bother Emily.

“This was a really good idea. I needed this.” Toby unzipped his jacket. Now that they weren’t speeding down the road he felt like letting his clothes flow freely in the breeze.

“Yeah.” Emily pushed a loose strand of hair behind her right ear. “Me, too.”

Her mind had been a swirl of emotions since getting the text from Isaac quipping about offering her money. She’d re-read his message a dozen times, looking at the **_“I’d pay good money to have you back here”_** and trying to figure out how to reply to it.

It was ironic, because she would pay good money to keep from going back. Her life had finally gained some traction in Rosewood. She felt secure in herself. She was happy. Texas was a part of her life she was content to leave in the past.

Talking to Isaac again had opened up a can of worms. She was walking a very fine line. It felt like broken glass was on one side and a giant vortex was on the other. She was trying to find the right balance. She was doing her best to be nice, but to keep boundaries in place and keep her distance.

She’d decided to respond to his jokes with more jokes,

**_There isn’t enough money in the world to get me to come back and take that spot away from Courtney. That girl would put a hit out on me. I’ll be hiding out amongst the Amish and their work-moose._ **

After about two hours he’d responded,

**_I knew they had moose up there! Tell me everything. Is Bullwinkle as nice as he is on TV?_ **

**_He’s a bit of a diva. Will only drink sparkling water with his moose chow._ **

**_HA! Ur funny. U a-moose me._ **

**_That was terrible, even for you Isaac. I just cringed so hard._ **

They’d gone back and forth a few more times before Emily told him she had homework. It was a lie, but it was too hard to talk to him while she was keeping such a huge secret from him.

She’d woken up to a text that morning from him,

**_Have a good day, Em. Don’t let the moose give you a hard time on the farm today._ **

She couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she was lying to him. She was worried he was going to get the wrong idea now that she was talking to him again. She’d told him she was dating someone, but it still felt weird to be texting him. He’d been partially right when he said it was hard to go back to being friends. She knew things would never be the same.

On top of that she was still getting anonymous texts. She assumed it was someone blowing hot air, because it had been happening for over 6 weeks and so far the threats had just been idle. But it was starting to eat away at her.

Whoever was doing it knew that the psychological aspect was worse than anything physical. True destruction started from within, and Emily was feeling the ramifications of her actions back in Texas. Her guilt was crushing her. She was her own worst enemy.

Her insomnia was getting worse. She tossed and turned at night. Her bouts of morning sickness didn’t help. She was trying not to overthink things, but the more she felt the baby growing the harder it was to quiet her thoughts. Her emotions felt like they were all over the place.

She found solace in riding, working out, and swimming. But the only time her mind was completely at ease was when she was with Alison. Their relationship was unconventional, but it worked for them. Emily helped humanize her...gave her humility. Alison showcased her heart when it was just the two of them. She gave Emily a sense of comfort. It was very much like an old Elvis song her dad played all the time. Emily had never understood the lyrics before she met Alison. But now, _“Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you…”_ meant something to her. She felt it in Alison’s smile. She heard it in her voice. She understood it in her soul.

In fact, it was her relationship with Alison that kept her centered. The blonde was her focal point as she tried to work through her feelings. The prospect of her future was always at the forefront of her mind. She was working hard not to let her insecurities get the better of her.

The ride with Toby was just what she needed.

They walked the trail to the orchard. Emily was lost in thought. Life felt like it was moving too fast, and she could barely keep up. She was used to it, and she’d adjusted to change in the past, but it was slowly starting to register that her life was going to change forever. She wasn’t sure exactly how yet, because she didn’t know if she wanted to keep the baby or put the baby up for adoption.

Either way, she knew everything in her life would be different. She’d never look at children the same way again. Every time she walked by a playground her brain started going haywire. Her emotions were insane. When she saw mothers with their babies she got a weird sentimental feeling in her heart.

Her thoughts had been in overdrive because of her upcoming ultrasound. She had so many questions. But the biggest question of all was what it was going to feel like to see her baby for the first time. Knowing she had a baby growing inside of her was different than actually _seeing_ her baby.

She’d read stories about mothers who instantly bonded with their unborn children, but it hadn’t clicked for her yet. Mostly because she hadn’t been able to accept the fact that she was pregnant. She’d always loved kids, but she’d been on the fence about whether or not she wanted them when she was older. She’d always thought she’d have the educated choice. She never thought it would be unplanned…and at the worst possible time.

The world was a dangerous. She’d seen a lot of hate in her life, and it scared her to think about bringing a baby into a world that was full of discrimination and conflict. How could she subject a child to a world that hated its mother simply because of who she loved? How could she even begin to teach something so small and so innocent that she couldn’t protect them from the world?

Emily was confident about a lot of things in her life, but being a mother was not one of them. She was afraid to lose herself in the pregnancy because she was afraid to lose herself entirely. Loving her baby meant being okay with letting go of a part of herself. It was terrifying to think about. But then she looked into a child’s eyes…or felt the pure joy of their laugh, and she realized that there had to be more to it. She knew that regardless of whether or not she kept her child, she was going to love them.

Her stomach had been a bundle of nerves, because she was worried that they might find something wrong during the ultrasound. She didn’t feel a huge flurry of activity like all the movies and TV shows talked about. For her, ‘the miracle of life’ so far was indigestion and cramps. She wasn’t sure what was considered normal. It was nerve-wracking.

Seeing the people at the orchard helped take her mind off of things. The crowd was a pretty good size for a Sunday. Some of it was probably church congregations meandering in the beauty of nature.

“Haven’t been out here since I was a kid.” Toby looked around at the trees.

“Me either.” Emily reached up to touch an apple that was nearly ready to be plucked. “You remember when they had that pie eating contest during harvest and we snuck into the tent and ate half the pies?”

“God, I puked _so_ much.” He grimaced. “I refuse to eat apple pie to this day.”

“I’m pretty sure a blueberry came out of your nose. And there were no blueberry pies…”

Toby chuckled. He reached up to push a branch out of their way, letting Emily walk forward first.

“Man, this place seemed so endless when we were kids. I used to complain about how long it took to walk around. Now I could stay out here for days. Grab a tent. Camp out. Just chill.”

“Yeah.” Emily sighed. “It’s weird how life changes. It’s so surreal.” She looked at the trail in front of them.

Toby frowned. Something felt off.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good.” The lie was flawless, but Toby didn’t look like he was buying it.

“How are things with Alison?”

“Good.” Emily looked up from her feet and peered at him. “They’re good.”

“She actually smiled at me the other day.” Toby ran his fingers through his helmet hair. “Either that, or it was gas.”

Emily laughed.

“We have been eating a lot of Mexican lately.”

“I knew that smile was too good to be true.” He grinned.

Emily glanced at the ground again, watching her footsteps as the leaves crunched beneath her boots.

“She’s different than I remember,” Emily said.

“How so?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. She’s just…” Emily had seen the way Alison behaved around others, and she understood why Toby and everyone else in Rosewood held a grudge against her. “I don’t know. She’s different with me. Softer.”

She thought about how tight Alison had held on to her during their first ride through town. She thought about the wishing well. She thought about the night she’d told her about the baby. Alison didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve. She didn’t even try to pretend she had one. But it was there. Emily had seen it.

In fact, Alison was acting more maternal than Emily expected. It had been annoying at first, but then Emily started to understand that Alison was someone who needed to feel in control of a situation so she didn’t completely spin out. So Emily let her be a boss bitch. But at the end of the day she made her own decisions, and that wasn’t going to change.

“Of course she’s soft with you. You have that effect on everybody. I’m not surprised she likes you. I see what she sees in you.” He had a look of intrigue on his face.

“Still gay, Toby,” she said with a teasing smile.

“I know.” He laughed. “I’m just saying… _platonically_ …” He lingered on the word, “you’re a catch.”

“I don’t know about that…”

“Dude, come on.” He gave her a ‘you can’t be serious’ look, “You ride a hog. Your hair is dope. You know how to throw a punch. You don’t take shit from anyone. _And_ you got mad jokes. Give yourself some credit.”

“I do have my flaws.”

“Yeah, your taste in women is questionable.” He huffed out a hard laugh. “I mean…I get it, I guess. Alison’s not bad. Maybe an 8, though her attitude makes it considerably lower for me…”

“Watch it, Cavanaugh, that’s my girlfriend you’re insulting.”

“Not an insult.” He playfully threw his arms in the air.

“Judging girls based on their looks is grotesque.”

“Spoken like a true 10.” He chuckled. “Don’t pretend you don’t do it, too.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, 6.5,” Emily deadpanned.

“Ouch. That’s harsh.” Toby feigned getting shot.

Emily laughed and threw a playful punch into his shoulder.

“Look, we all like what we like. I’m just saying, as a 10 you could do _marginally_ better with a natural beauty.” He thought about it. “Someone like Spencer Hastings.”

“You didn’t hesitate on that at all.” Emily lifted one of her brows. “Does Toby Cavanaugh have a widdle crush?”

“Not a word, Fields. I’m still planning my first move.”

“ _Hello_ generally works pretty well.” Emily suggested.

“Is that how you and Alison started? A _hello_?”

“Actually, she complimented my ride and then argued with me about the color of my hair.”

“Sounds about right.” He rolled his eyes.

“We can talk about something else if you want. I know you’re not her biggest fan. I know she hurt you…”

“I also know she has been trying to make amends.” He reached up and scratched his right eyebrow. “I heard she’s been doling out apologies and playing nice at school. Caleb and Mike were talking about it the other day.”

“I didn’t know you hung out with them. You’re such a hermit at school.”

“I tend to make myself scarce. No one can start shit with you if you don’t exist there.” He shrugged. “He was with the Montgomerys at the gym. Mike and Aria come in sometimes so Mike can train with Jake and Aria can talk books with Ezra.”

“I heard them talking about Harper Lee the other day,” she said. She almost never saw Aria without a book in her hand.

“Yeah, he did a whole dissertation on her last year. He got published in an academic journal and now he thinks that he’s some magical book guru.” Toby laughed. “Homeboy needs to pump the brakes. He’s about to find out that having one year of college under his belt doesn’t mean he’s ready for the real world.”

“He’s only a Sophomore? That’s wild. I knew he was young, but damn. How is he already managing the gym?”

Emily hadn’t really talked to Ezra about his personal life. He was friendly enough, and he was a great boss. But he was reserved.

“Nepotism. Belongs to his family. He’s actually the least pretentious of the elites, though. He’s pretty down to Earth for a twenty-year-old trust fund baby. Everyone really seems to like him.”

“He’s always been nice to me.” Emily smiled.

“He’s pretty personable. That nice guy routine made an impression on Caleb. He came in to talk to him about getting a membership. Ezra is going to work with him. I think he’s trying to stay out of his foster home as much as possible until he hits the magic age of eighteen.”

Emily knew all about the magic age of eighteen. It was so foreign to her that a year of birth could dictate when someone was suddenly an adult.

“Anyway, I guess Alison texted Aria about something she missed in class the other day. And Mike and Caleb started talking about how Alison had apologized for being an…Alison.” He didn’t know how else to describe her without flat out calling her a bitch.

“She’s trying to be a better person.”

“Hope it sticks.” It was clear that Toby still held some animosity towards her.

“The things she said about your mom…” Emily said softly. “I probably wouldn’t forgive her either.”

“She’d have to ask for forgiveness in order for that to happen. And I don’t think she will.”

“She might. You never know.” They stopped walking and Toby looked around. Emily saw a strange look in his eyes. And she recognized it. Grief. “I’m sorry I brought her up.”

“She’s your girlfriend. She’s bound to come up in conversation.”

“Not Alison. Your mom.”

“Oh.”

“I uh…I remember that you used to beg her to pick you up so you could reach the apples.”

“You remember that?” His eyes glistened. He held his tears in.

“I know you miss her.” She put her hand on his arm, her face teeming with compassion.

“I do. I know she was messed up, but she was my mom, you know? Losing her…it really sucks.”

“I think when you’re a parent you do everything you can to make sure your kids have a safety net when they’re walking the tight-rope of life. But when something happens and that safety net is gone it can be hard to get your balance again.” Emily had always felt that hole when her dad was deployed. It wasn’t the same as actually losing a parent, but the fear of losing him was just as painful.

“That’s...wildly accurate.” Toby admitted. “I feel like I’m never going to stop free-falling.”

“I think...” She hesitated. She wasn’t sure. “I think that’s part of it...the give and take of parental love. Parents are in love with their children in a way they aren’t in love with anything else. And when you’re a child of that…of the love they give, it leaves a huge hole when they’re not around to give it anymore. But you keep your mom’s memory alive by existing. You are the love that she gave you. And one day you’ll pass that on to your kids. Your mom is still with you, Toby. And as long as you pass that love along she always will be.”

Toby smiled a warm watery smile at her. He was still restraining the tears, but they were a lot more visible now.

“Thanks, Em.”

“Any time.” She nodded.

“You’re going to be a hell of a mother one day.”

_Sooner than you think._

“Thanks.”

They sat down at a table underneath an awning in the picnic area. Toby looked around, bathing in the nostalgia.

“We can talk about your mom if you want.” She offered. “Or I can just sit here quietly and let you feel what you want to feel. I’m down for whatever.”

“I think talking about her is long overdue.”

Toby opened up about what he’d gone through with his mother’s mental illness. Her depression had gotten the better of her and she’d ended up in a mental institution. That had been the first of many bouts of her illness. She was in and out of the hospital, until one day she finally decided it was too much. Toby admitted that he’d been angry at her for a long time. He explained that anger was easier to feel than grief. He was still working through a lot of his emotions.

Emily listened for nearly an hour as he talked. She knew he needed to get it out. She knew what it felt like to bottle things up. She’d done it for years. She was doing it again with her pregnancy. Hiding it was exhausting. There had been a liberating sense of freedom after she told Alison, but she wasn’t sure everyone else would accept it the same way Alison did.

When Toby finished talking they quietly watched the people passing them by. People-watching was almost as fun as picking apples.

“Alison will like it here. This was a good pick.” Toby watched as a couple gleefully chased each other around. He glanced at his watch. “We should get going. Ezra and Jake are both leaving at two today. We can’t leave the place short-staffed.”

“Let’s ride.” Emily stood up.

As they turned to walk away from the orchard Emily heard the sounds of a baby laughing. The laughter caused her to pause. She slowed her pace and looked over her shoulder. She saw a little boy being chased by his father. He let out a boisterous squeal of laughter as he toddled down a small hill. His dad caught up to him, scooping him up in his arms. The little boy squirmed at first, but then enthusiastically wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck.

It was hard to imagine that someday soon…she might be doing the same thing with her own child. It was scary to think about, but it was also exciting.

A few seconds later another man walked out of the winding path of trees. He walked over to the man holding the toddler and put his arm against the small of his back. They leaned in with the baby between them, meeting for a kiss. The little boy was smooshed between them with a huge smile on his face. He nuzzled against his daddies.

Emily smiled. She thought about all the memories she had with her parents. And she realized that even though they were in the midst of a rough patch, she wouldn’t be who she was without their love. They’d nurtured her. They’d loved her.

She knew that love was still there…deep down. They couldn’t comprehend her sexuality. They weren’t happy about the pregnancy. But she knew they loved her. And for the moment, it’s all she had.

* * *

The gym was slow for a Sunday afternoon. A small portion of the free exercise area was being worked on by a maintenance crew working on expansions.

Emily was sitting at the desk trying to get some homework in while maintaining the phones. A few of the regulars were sparsely scattered throughout the gym.

One of those regulars unfortunately included Noel Kahn.

Noel waltzed over to the desk and leaned over it with a big smug grin on his face.

“Someone left some wet towels over by the weights. Smells like ball sweat. You might wanna get on that.”

One look at his face told her that he was the culprit who had left them. He’d been giving her a hard time since his precious Coach Wilden had been suspended without pay. He blamed Alison for leading the charge against him. But he was hazing Emily for hitting him, too.

He didn’t seem to hate Emily as much as he hated Alison. He seemed to like playing with her. In fact, he was borderline flirtatious with her, which annoyed her more than him slinging hate at her would annoy her. She’d prefer the nasty snide remarks.

“For the last time, Noel, I’m not interested in you. Or your sweaty balls.”

“It’s what they made gloves for. Suit up and dive in. It’s your job, sweetheart.”

“Call me _sweetheart_ again. I dare you.”

Noel laughed off her threat.

“Come on, Fields, when will this game end? When will you wise up to this blazing spark between us and admit this undeniable passion we have?”

“It will be a cold day in hell.” Emily smiled angrily at him.

She had to remind herself not to lose her cool. If she hit him she could lose her job. And she needed her job.

He didn’t make it easy. He leaned against the counter and tried to get closer to her.

“What’s up with you and DiLaurentis?” he asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would, actually. That’s why I’m asking. You know she’s total trash, right?”

The insult stoked her ire. She felt an impulsive desire to rip him to shreds. But since she couldn’t get violent with him, she had to settle for the next best thing. She antagonized him.

“What’s the matter?” Emily leaned closer, refusing to budge, refusing to look weak. “Afraid I’ll give her everything you never could?”

A scowl washed across his face. He pulled back away from the counter. The vein in his neck looked like a giant rope on the verge of snapping. She could see another vein popping out on his forehead. One thing she’d learned about working at the gym was that boys did _not_ like to have their manhood called into question.

“Careful. Raging out would be a bad look for you, Noel. You know…” She leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper, “…people are already suspicious about performance enhancing drugs making their rounds in the locker room.” She grinned wickedly at him and continued, “I’ve heard steroids cause impotence. Is there any truth to that?”

His face went rigid.

“I see hanging out with Alison has rubbed off on you.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s rubbed off on me when we’re together.” She leaned back in her chair.

He looked so angry that the only thing missing was steam blowing out of his ears. She thought he was going to come over the counter at her, and she was ready.

Instead he just huffed out a breath like an angry preteen girl and uttered an even _more_ preteen phrase,

“Whatever.”

He didn’t say anything else as he stormed away.

“Idiot,” she mumbled under her breath.

Their altercation put her in a bad mood. Her day only got worse from there. About an hour after her conversation with Noel she got a message from the anonymous number that had been harassing her.

The message had a photo attached to it: a screenshot of a picture that Alison had posted and tagged Emily in. It was a selfie of the two of them eating ice cream, their cheeks pressed together, both of them smiling. The picture was cute. The message was not.

**_How does your baby daddy feel about you raising HIS kid with the first piece of trash that you found in Rosewood?_ **

The message stunned her. She had to re-read it several times to make sure it wasn’t some terrible dream. She looked up around the gym to see if anyone was watching. Noel was sitting on the bench, doing something on his phone. He glanced up at her and grinned and waved at her. The timing was eerie.

But it couldn’t possibly be him.

_Could it?_

The only other people who knew about the pregnancy were Isaac’s parents, and they sure as hell would not have told anyone. They’d paid her hush money to keep it from getting out. Their household was locked down like Fort Knox.

She tried to remember if she’d done anything to slip up. Had she made any private calls to the doctor in public? Had she forgotten to peel the label off of her prenatal vitamins? Had she said something to Alison that someone could have overheard?

Normally she would have let it go. She would have deleted the message and moved on. But this was the first time the anonymous bozo had offered a sliver of proof that the threats about exposing her secrets weren’t just all talk.

Her heart started racing. She slowly lifted her head and glanced at Noel again. He seemed enamored with something on his phone. He kept his eyes on his screen as he stood up and grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat from his face.

Emily’s finger hovered above her screen as she tried to decide what to do. It was too involved for her to let it go. She used the mirror behind the desk to watch Noel carefully as she turned around and typed a reply.

**_Who is this? It’s getting old._ **

She watched Noel’s movements in his reflection. He was taking a sip of his drink. He grabbed his phone from the bench and started looking at it again. She couldn’t see his face, but he was definitely entertained by whatever was on the screen.

He grabbed his things and walked towards the locker rooms. It pissed Emily off, because she couldn’t see what he was doing. She wanted to follow him and rip his phone out of his hands.

She was so focused on him that she didn’t see the person dressed in maintenance gear slipping out the side door. If she had just looked up she would have recognized the familiar face.

She went back to her homework. A few minutes later she got a response to her message.

**_Wouldn’t you like to know?_ **

Emily was firing back a reply before she could even process what she was typing.

**_I don’t know what cheesy afterschool BS you’re watching on television, but I can promise you my life isn’t that interesting. I’m flattered that you think I’m cool enough to entertain you, but your free subscription ends here. Get a hobby. Go jerk yourself off instead of jerking me around._ **

**_You’re good at jerking people around._ **

She wasn’t sure how to respond. She knew that it probably wasn’t Noel. But at the same time…

 _“She’s total trash,”_ he’d said.

The bully had said the exact same thing.

But it had to be a coincidence. Everyone used the word ‘trash’. It was as popular as ‘dumpster fire’ and ‘dope’. She’d been getting the messages long before Noel Kahn had set his sights on her.

She tried not to let the messages get to her, but she could feel herself on edge the rest of her shift. Before she clocked out she went to find Toby to tell him goodbye. She found him cleaning up the area of the gym that was tethered off for construction. He was drenched in sweat even though he had two fans going.

“Hey, I’m getting ready to clock out. I just wanted to thank you again for the ride,” Emily said.

“Oh, yeah. Any time.” Toby turned around to face her.

“Need a hand?” She slipped underneath the tape they’d cordoned the area off with.

“Ah, no thanks. I’ve got two of them.” Toby held up his gloved hands and wiggled his fingers, showcasing his best jazz hands. He picked up a piece of dusty cardboard and tossed it into a trash pile near the door.

“This is going to be nice when it’s finished.” Emily admired the renovations. She liked that the gym was expanding.

“Did Ezra tell you that we’re getting eight new machines?” His eyes lit up in excitement. Toby geeked out over everything fitness. It was something Emily loved about him. He was like a kid in a candy store. “Check it out.” He waved his arms over the empty space. “We’re going to put the new ellipticals by the windows and the rowing station here…” He motioned towards where the boxes were stacking up. “I suggested to Ezra that we put up motivational posters and decorate with a mural of success stories.”

“I had no idea you were an interior designer.” Emily teased him.

“It’s my secret passion.” Toby grinned. “I’m thinking about starting my own show. _Straight Guy with a Queer Eye._ ”

“Toby Cavanaugh, do you watch _Queer Eye_?” Emily laughed.

“Doesn’t everyone?” He lifted his brows with a smile.

“Everyone with taste,” she said with a shrug. She looked around at the hollow space. “I guess I’ll let you get back to work.”

“Be careful riding home. The rain makes the roads slick.”

“Too bad the weather didn’t hold out a little bit longer.” Emily frowned, looking out the window at the overcast sky. “At least we got our trip in earlier.”

“Hey, about that…” Toby reached up and wiped his brow with his forearm. “Thanks for everything you said…about my mom. Thanks for listening to me. You’re a good friend.”

“You aren’t so bad yourself. I owe you more than you know for getting me this gig.”

“Well, I certainly couldn’t let you turn to prostitution.” Toby deadpanned.

Emily laughed, a boisterous laugh that echoed up into the raised ceilings. The noise started to quiet down.

The only sound was the white noise of the fans. But beyond that there was something else that Emily hadn’t heard when she first walked in. There was a constant humming sound that was slowly getting louder.

“Do you hear that?” Emily looked around for the buzzing sound.

The lights crackled above her, flickering wildly. Emily looked up just as it started to spark.

Toby realized what was happening a split second before it happened. He made a mad dash for Emily. He had his arms around her the second the light exploded above them. He shoved her towards the wall, shielding her with his body as shrapnel from the light sprayed around them.

Emily didn’t realize she’d closed her eyes until she opened them and looked at Toby’s face. He had a cut on his cheek and another on the side of his neck. They weren’t deep, but they were both bleeding.

“You okay?” Toby asked.

Emily was breathing heavily. She managed to nod and huff out a relieved,

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Toby backed away from her. His hands were shaking. Emily looked down and saw her hands tremoring, too. She tightened her hands into fists and took a deep breath. She looked at Toby’s injuries.

“Toby, you’re bleeding.”

“Huh?” He looked up.

She motioned to his face. He reached up and pressed his fingers against the cut on his cheek, smearing a tiny bit of blood on to his skin.

“Shit.” He looked in the mirror, observing the cuts. He didn’t seem too concerned. “I’ve had worse.” He glanced at her again. “You’re sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine.” Emily looked at the mess of glass on the ground. “What happened?”

Toby walked underneath the light fixture. He peered up at the dark spot left from the void of light. He looked down and kicked some shards around. He saw the lot number on the bulb on one of the larger pieces.

“Fucking idiots put the wrong bulb in this one.” Toby reached down to pick up a large chunk of the glass. “Someone is getting their asses fired for this. That could have killed someone.” He frowned and stood up. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“You’re the one that’s wearing your blood on the outside of your body. Need me to grab the first aid kit?”

“Nah, I’ll take care of it. You should get out of here before bombs start going off.” He looked at the other lights. “I’ve got to check all of these now.”

Emily’s phone went off from inside her pocket. She felt her stomach drop. The whole situation reeked of foul play.

She pulled her phone out, and sure enough, there was a message,

**_Lights out, bitch._ **

She felt the heated rush she’d gotten from the adrenaline draining from her body. Her face felt cold.

“Hey…you sure you’re okay?” Toby put his hand on her shoulder. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Emily fumbled with her phone, shoving it into her pocket. She nodded.

“That was my mom.” She lied. “I need to get home.”

“Do me a favor and wait ten minutes before you get on your bike. Go take a breather. Don’t drive in shock.”

“Yeah. Okay.” She looked at the glass on the floor. Then she looked at Toby again. “Thanks for diving on the grenade for me.”

“What are friends for?”

Emily offered to help him clean up, but Toby insisted that she needed to de-stress. Emily went into the boxing area and worked the heavy bag for twenty minutes, trying to let her frustration out.

She checked on Toby again after she’d worked up a sweat. He was fine. He told her to go home.

When she walked outside it was raining. She wasn’t looking forward to riding home in the cold rainy weather.

When she got home she stripped out of her wet clothes and took a warm shower to try and wash away the afternoon. She mumbled her way through dinner with her parents.

She hadn’t told them about the ultrasound, mostly because her mother had an opinion about _everything_ , and it was annoying. After dinner she was planning to go hide under her covers, but a text from Alison changed her entire mood.

**_Hey, working girl. WYD?_ **

And just like that, Noel Kahn and the exploding light at the gym were distant memories. She smiled at her phone.

**_Oh, you know, doing wild stunts on my bike while eating soft cheeses and chain-smoking cigarettes doused in led paint._ **

**_You better be joking._ **

**_Ali, you can literally see me through the window. I know you’re watching me._ **

**_Was it the binoculars that gave it away?_ **

**_You’re not as stealthy as you think. I leave the shades wide open just for you._ **

**_I particularly like watching you dance naked._ **

The message was followed up with a wink emoji and an emoji sticking its tongue out. It was hilarious to Emily, because she’d never actually showcased her body in the window in any capacity. She knew that _anyone_ could look in. She didn’t particularly like leaving her blinds open, but she did it so they could look outside and see one another.

Emily smiled at the ridiculousness of the blonde. She walked towards the window and looked outside. She saw Alison’s silhouette at her bedroom window illuminated by the light. Emily grinned as she replied,

**_Maybe next time instead of sitting in the dark and thinking dirty thoughts about me you should join me._ **

She got an immediate response,

**_Treehouse. Now._ **

Emily pulled on her sweats and slipped out of the house. Alison was waiting for her on her porch.

“Jesus, you couldn’t wait two minutes?” Emily laughed.

She could see Alison grinning in the glow of the streetlight.

“Come on.” She grabbed Emily’s hand and tugged on it.

They giggled as they ran over to Alison’s yard, making their way to the treehouse. Alison had put a lantern at the bottom of the tree. She reached down and picked it up.

“Ladies first.” Emily stood aside and motioned for Alison to go before her.

“You just like looking at my ass.” Alison put her foot on the first step to hoist herself up.

“And pinching it.” Emily reached forward and gently squeezed Alison’s butt cheek with her thumb and index finger.

Alison squealed in laughter. She lost her balance, spinning around and falling forward. She wasn’t that far off of the ground, so Emily had no problem catching her in her arms. She gripped her hips. Alison dropped the lantern into the soft grass below and wrapped her arms around Emily to steady herself. Their faces were inches apart.

Alison smiled at her, slightly embarrassed. Emily moved one of her hands away from Alison’s hip and brought it up next to her cheek. She brushed some of Alison’s hair behind her ear. Their lips hovered, but never touched.

“You did that on purpose.” Alison smiled, mirroring her motions. She caressed Emily’s cheek.

“My plan is falling into place.” Emily didn’t deny it.

“Just like me into your arms?”

“That was _really_ cringey.” Emily laughed.

“Hey, it’s your plan.” Alison shrugged. She slowly pulled away from Emily and reached for the lantern again.

She climbed up first. Emily followed her.

“Wonder if these steps will hold me when I’m carrying an extra thirty pounds.”

“As much as you exercise I doubt you’ll gain more than fifteen.” Alison climbed into the treehouse and turned around.

She bent down to help Emily up, but Emily was already on her feet right behind her.

“Guess I’ll just be early for the Freshman 15.”

Emily looked around the treehouse. Alison had decorated it with white twinkle lights that matched where they could see the stars through the roof.

Alison reached for Emily’s hand and pulled her towards the cot in the middle of the treehouse. It was made up of a small blow up mattress and blankets and pillows. She had a tray of brownies with powdered sugar sitting next to the cot.

“Want to get a head start on that Freshman 15?” She moved to sit down, pulling Emily with her.

“You bake now?” Emily teased.

“Oh, hell no. I picked these up at _Rive Guache_.” She picked a brownie up and handed it to Emily.

“Is that the fancy French place?” Emily carefully took the dessert from her.

“ _Oui_.”

“You don’t even take French.” Emily laughed.

“Who needs to speak it? We could just immerse ourselves in it. You and me in _Sweet Paree_. How does that sound?”

“Don’t you think we should _Parle français_ before we go?” Emily took a bite of the rich chocolate dessert. The powdered sugar dust fell all over the place. It was like a sprinkling of snow.

“It could be an adventure. We could start in the south of France. Dancing through sunflower fields.” Alison smiled, reaching towards Emily’s face. “Lounging around in our bikinis in the French Riviera.” She wiped a glob of powdered sugar away from the side of Emily’s mouth with her thumb. She smiled at her. “You’d look so good on top of the Eiffel Tower…wind in your hair…”

“It’s a really fun idea in theory.” Emily put the brownie down against the tray. “But I think you’re forgetting one really big glaring detail.” She glanced down towards her stomach.

“People can still travel when they have kids.”

“Yeah, rich people who can afford luxuries and help.”

“Luxury.” Alison pointed to herself. She tapped her chest. “Help.”

“I appreciate it. But you need to slow it way down, jetsetter.” Sometimes Emily marveled at the fact that Alison moved so fast in their relationship. She could appreciate the enthusiasm, but she could tell that Alison still didn’t get what this pregnancy meant for her. But she had big dreams, and Emily admired that. “How about we start our adventures here?”

“Like anything ever happens in Rosewood?” Alison threw herself back against the wall of pillows dramatically. It made Emily laugh. “It’s all the same. School. Work. Work. School. You’re the only interesting thing here.” She sat back up. “How was work, by the way?”

Emily thought about the light and the text message. She thought about Noel. She carefully considered how much to tell Alison. She didn’t want to freak her out.

“Well, a light bulb exploded. Toby had a few cuts, but no one else got hurt.”

“What?” Alison’s eyes lit up in alarm. “How does a light bulb just _explode_?”

“Someone put the wrong bulb in.”

“Were you near it when it happened?” She reached for Emily’s hands, gripping them tightly.

“I was underneath it. Toby got me out of the way in time.”

“Thank God for that.” Alison’s heart was racing. She could only imagine how much worse it could have been. She didn’t like to think about something happening to Emily. “That must have been beyond scary.”

“Yeah. Just in time for Halloween.”

“Oh, is it October already?” Alison feigned disinterest. She’d been hinting about the Halloween dance for weeks. “I hadn’t noticed at all. Not like there are flyers up all around the school advertising a certain _huge_ event…”

“Nice. Subtle.” Emily smiled.

“I’ve done everything short of hitting you over the head with a pumpkin.”

“You can relax. I have been planning on asking you. I know you’re dying to dress up.” Emily chuckled. “So, do you want to go with me?”

Alison could barely contain her excitement. She had been expecting Emily to ask her since the signs were posted at school. It had been all the student body could talk about.

“I have been eyeing this Uma Thurman inspired _Pulp Fiction_ costume. It would blow everyone else away.” Alison’s eyes had a glint in them.

“So, that’s a yes?”

“Duh, Emily.” Alison rolled her eyes. She faced Emily and her expression brightened. “Oh, we should do a couples costume. You’d make a really sexy Vincent Vega to my Mia Wallace.” She leaned back against Emily, a motion she’d been instinctively doing for weeks. Emily wrapped her arms around Alison. “God, you’d look good in a tux.” She turned to face her. “And with the coat you wouldn’t have to worry if you’re showing at all. Unless…” She peered into Emily’s eyes, “…are you going to tell people? I mean…do you want to?”

Emily thought back to the heated text exchange she’d had at work earlier. She feared that her secret was going to come out before she had a chance to tell it herself. But she wasn’t ready yet.

“No. Not yet. The longer I can go without being the talk of the town, the better.”

“Oh.” The inflection in Alison’s tone sounded a little higher than normal.

“You sound surprised.” Emily looked down at her. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“No. No, I would never.” She reached out and took Emily’s hand. “The old Alison might have, especially if she didn’t like you. But I kicked that bitch to the curb. And I _really_ like you.” She smiled warmly at the brunette.

“I really like you, too.” Emily smiled back, leaning forward to kiss her. Alison reached up and wrapped her hand against the back of Emily’s neck. She still tasted like chocolate and powdered sugar.

They were both smiling when they pulled away. Alison reached for a brownie. She laid back against Emily again and looked up at the stars.

“Kind of wild how they look so close, but they’re so far away.” Alison’s eyes darted around the sky. “It’s a lot like the future. It’s right there, but it’s also like 10 years from now. It’s never-ending. I think about it a lot.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” She thought about it constantly, especially since she’d found out about the baby.

“Do you want to go to college?” Alison asked.

“I do. But I don’t know what’s going to happen these next few months. I don’t know what’s going to happen afterwards.”

“If it makes you feel any better I don’t know if I want to go to college either.”

Emily frowned at her. She knew Alison was only shifting the conversation that way because she didn’t want to leave Rosewood to go off to college and leave her behind.

“Ali, don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Alison glanced at her. She had a stubborn look on her face.

“I already told you that I don’t want you planning things around me and the baby.” She shuffled how they were sitting. Alison shifted her weight against the cot and let Emily breathe. Emily put her arm over Alison’s shoulders. “Your test scores are amazing. You could go to any college you want. I want you to promise me that you won’t sacrifice your future for me.”

“My future _is_ with you.” Alison looked up at her. Emily couldn’t help but run her fingers through her soft blonde locks.

“We’ve never really talked about it…about what you want to do after high school,” Emily said.

“Performing arts.” Alison smiled. “Partly to piss off my parents, but also because I think I want to get into acting.”

“You’d be great in Hollywood.” Emily continued to thread her fingers through Alison’s hair. “Have you ever been in any plays?”

“I was the lead in all of our school plays up through tenth grade. I felt like a change last year. I probably have enough credentials to get into college for performing arts though. What about you? What do you want to do?”

“I was thinking of going to school with my swimming scholarship before…” She stopped herself. She never wanted to think of her baby as a hindrance. “Before I left Texas. I still want to do something in that vein. Maybe after I’ve saved up enough I can look into a Sports Management degree.”

“That’s doable, right? I mean, a lot of people work and go to school. We’d just have to figure out the logistics for the baby. How much does childcare cost?”

“You don’t want to know.” Emily made a face.

“If money wasn’t an object would you go to school?”

“It’s not just about that,” Emily said. “College takes up a ton of time, not to mention working. If I…” She tapered off, trying to figure out what she wanted to say, “If I decide…if I want to keep the baby…taking adoption off the table…I don’t want to just hand her off to someone and run off. I want to be there. I don’t want to miss out on that stage in my child’s life, especially not when I can just go to school later when things are more balanced for me.”

Alison really admired that. Her heart was so big. She could practically feel the love radiating off of her. Her child was going to be so lucky.

“So…” Alison smiled. “ _Her_ , huh?”

“I don’t know. It just felt right.” Emily’s face turned a light shade of red.

Alison reached up and rubbed her arm.

“You nervous about tomorrow?”

“I mean, I don’t like Mondays in general.”

“You know what I meant.” Alison poked her. After she got a chuckle out of the brunette she gently put her palm against her belly. “Your appointment is at 4:30, right?”

“Yeah.” Emily put her hand on top of Alison’s, holding it in place.

“Will they be able to tell the sex?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so. I guess it depends on how far along I am.”

“Do you _want_ to know the sex?”

“I don’t know.” Emily moved her hand and reached for her brownie.

“Well, I think I’ll trust your instincts.” Alison kept her hand against Emily’s stomach.

Alison still hadn’t felt any actual movement yet, but she was determined to catch the kid kicking or rolling around or something. Emily thought it was adorable. _This_ was the Alison that she wanted her friends to see. The impenetrable ice queen that melted any time she was near her and the baby. When she looked into Alison’s eyes she saw a spark of affection. The blonde had such a great capacity for love. Emily knew that she’d barely scratched the surface of that love. She couldn’t wait to see how their relationship grew and flourished. It served as a reminder that for now, she wasn’t alone. Nothing had ever felt more right in her life.

* * *

School was tense the next day. Wilden had been formally arrested on several charges, and his position at the school had been permanently terminated. All the boys were in an uproar about it, because despite what a terrible human being he was, they idolized their coach.

Alison and Emily tried to lie low at breakfast. They opted to eat outside in the courtyard, even though it was drizzling outside.

That didn’t stop them from Noel Kahn’s wrath. When they walked into the building he was waiting on them. He had his arms crossed and was glaring angrily at them.

“Did you have an aneurysm and forget how to walk?” Alison snapped at him. “ _Move_.” She ordered.

“You are such a pain in the ass.” Noel sniped back.

“Watch it.” Emily moved in front of Alison.

“My beef isn’t with you, Fields. It’s not your fault you fell for her stupid act.” He turned towards Alison and growled. “Thanks to your little stunt the team has been suspended from playing because they won’t hire another coach.”

“I fail to see how a sleazeball getting caught harassing students and the school budget are my fault.” Alison huffed.

“It’s not funny, Alison. My scholarship depends on this.”

“Aww, what’s the matter? Don’t have any real skills to fall back on to get you into college?”

“I’ve worked my whole life for this. But you wouldn’t know anything about hard work, would you? Mommy and daddy bought this whole damn town for you.” He spit hatefully.

“You’re one to talk.” Alison scoffed. “Your dad was on the cover of _Forbes_ last spring. He can buy your way in to any place you want. That’s what Hollywood does for their little rich kids.”

“Don’t talk about my father.” Noel reached out to grab her arm, but Emily blocked him and whacked his arm away.

“Keep your hands off of her, or you’re going to follow in Wilden’s footsteps.” Emily threatened.

“Bark, bark, Killer.” Noel hovered over her. He only had about one or two inches on her in height. Emily was certain she could take him, though it would only get her in more trouble than she was already in.

“Emily, don’t.” Alison’s eyes shot towards her stomach, briefly, a subtle glance. “He’s not worth it.”

“Is there a problem here?” Caleb walked over to the confrontation. Hanna was standing next to him.

“Get lost, street rat.” Noel glared at Caleb.

His words struck a chord in Caleb. Hanna grabbed his arm before he could throw a punch. If he got in trouble for a fight at school he could go back to juvie.

“Don’t risk your probation on this _Greased Lightning_ wannabe.” Hanna turned her nose up at Noel.

“Yeah, listen to your side piece, Rivers.” Noel taunted.

Hanna let go of Caleb’s arm. She moved towards Noel threateningly.

“One more word and my boot is going to be so far up your ass that you’ll taste the vintage leather in the back of your throat. _I_ don’t have to worry about probation. Get lost before I knock the grease off the top of your head.” Her venomous words sliced through Noel’s bravado.

He looked at the four of them. Alison looked ready to kill. Hanna and Emily looked primed and ready to start swinging. And Caleb could probably kill him with a plastic spork. He waved his arms, a giant “whatever” and walked off.

The girls smiled in triumph.

“Thanks.” Alison smiled at Caleb.

“Didn’t do it for you.” He glanced at Emily and nodded at her before turning to kiss Hanna. “I’ve got Poly-Sci.”

“I’ll walk you.” Hanna took his hand. “Catch you guys at lunch.”

Alison and Emily waved to them. Alison silently reached for Emily’s hand. She didn’t want to admit that Noel had gotten to her. She didn’t care that he was gunning for her. But she cared that he was threatening Emily. She knew that Emily could take care of herself, but it still worried her.

“You okay?” Emily asked.

“Yeah. Fine.” The answer was too short and curt to be true.

“All that stuff he said was just hot air. He’s full of it.”

But Alison knew Noel better than that. He’d been a hothead when they were dating. And he’d been controlling when they were fooling around with one another. He’d never physically hurt her, but she knew he had it in him. She’d seen him lose his temper over menial things. And the steroids didn’t help.

She tried to avoid him the rest of the day, because she knew if she saw him she was going to do something she regretted…like clobbering him over the head with a stapler.

The last place she expected to see him was in the library. He avoided studying like the plague. She’d decided to duck out of third period early to get a little time to quiet her racing mind.

She slipped past the front desk and tiptoed by a student in a black hoodie who was taking a nap by a table near the window overlooking the courtyard.

The person’s face was buried in the arms of their hoodie resting on the tabletop. Alison didn’t bother trying to get a glimpse of who it was, but even if she had she wouldn’t have known them. What she didn’t know was that the mysterious hoodie wearing napster wasn’t really napping, but listening.

Alison quietly crept through the library to get to her spot. She sat deep in the stacks, away from the front desk. She buried herself in one of her favorite books as she waited for the bell to ring.

When she saw a shadow descending over her she looked up and saw Noel glaring down at her. She jumped in surprise.

“Not so tough without your guard dog around, are you?” Noel teased as she got to her feet. She stared angrily at him, but he wasn’t intimidated. “You are such a poser, Alison. You know you’re nothing without Fields to back you up.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “Bet if I took her out of the picture you’d disappear into oblivion.”

That sparked a hairline trigger inside of Alison. Emily wasn’t around to protect her, but that didn’t mean that Alison wasn’t going to protect Emily.

“Touch her and die, Kahn.” She balled her hands into tightly wound fists.

“You’ll never even see it coming.” He taunted. He could tell that he was getting to Alison, so he pressed harder. “A little tweak on her bike or a sedative in her sports drink at the gym before she goes swimming…”

“I swear to God if you do anything that could hurt her or the baby…”

_Fuck. ShitShitFuck._

The second she said it she hated herself. All she could think about was how she had _just_ promised Emily she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Noel took a step back, like he suddenly couldn’t hear anymore, like he wasn’t sure he heard her right.

“The _what_?”

“Shit,” she uttered. “Nothing. That was…it…nothing.”

“Whoa…whoa.” He huffed out a laugh. “Does Fields have a bun in the oven?”

“No. I…I call her babe. And you’re standing here threatening her...my baby. I’m just trying to protect her, and if you do anything to hurt her…” She knew she wasn’t salvaging it, but she was trying.

“Holy shit.” He huffed out a laugh. “This is priceless. I _knew_ she was a freak.”

“Take that back.” Her hand cut through the air as she instinctively went to hit him. He grabbed her wrist. It made an audible slapping noise. Her gripped her wrist so hard it started to hurt her. “Let me go.” She scratched at his arm.

He shoved her back against the shelves. She felt the sharp corners of several books stabbing into her shoulders, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of showing him he’d hurt her. She pushed back against him.

“Don’t fucking touch me again.”

“You used to like it when I touched you,” he taunted.

“Oh, Noel…” She smirked. “You really think that? I’m a better actress than I thought. But go ahead and keep stroking that little _ego_.”

“Maybe I’ll just stoke the flames of the little fire you and Emily are hiding instead.” He threatened.

“Don’t start anything.” Alison tried to come off as menacing, but her voice was shaking. She’d betrayed Emily. This was huge. “Don’t even think about flapping your stupid jaws and lying…”

“That’s rich coming from you.” Noel rolled his eyes.

“I mean it. Don’t tell anyone. Just…leave us alone.”

“What…like you’ve left most of this school alone the last three years? You deserve a little payback, Alison.”

“Okay, fine. _Me_. I deserve it. But Emily didn’t do anything wrong.”

“She got involved with _you_.”

“She changed me!” Alison raised her voice angrily. “She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. If you go after her I will _ruin_ you. I’ll tell every single person I know that you’re just a big steroid freak with a pixie dick and that your little twizzler has the clap.”

There was a flash of anger in his eyes. She’d hit him below the belt, and he didn’t like it.

“Don’t mess with me.” Noel pushed his face into hers. She could see little bubbles of spit forming on his lips.

He grabbed her arm like he had in the cafeteria, but this time she was ready for him. She blocked him just like Emily taught her and flung her other fist into Noel’s cheek. The blow hurt her more than it hurt him. She hadn’t been prepared for how hard his jaw would be. She hissed and pulled her hand back and tried to shake the sting out of it.

“You little bitch.” Noel rubbed his cheek.

He moved forward, but before he could reach out for her again the altercation was interrupted.

“What’s going on over here?” Mike walked into view. He was playing a game on his phone, but he saw the tension between the two of them. He saw the look on Alison’s face and he immediately put his phone away. “Everything okay here, Alison?”

“Get lost, _Skidmark_.” Noel sneered at him.

“His name is Mike.” Alison snapped.

She walked over towards Mike. She’d never been more thankful to see the little nerd.

Noel looked at the two of them and scoffed.

“What are you even doing here, Montgomery?”

“I go to school here, dumbass.” Mike shot back.

“No, I mean with _her_. You don’t remember what a miserable bitch she’s been to you your _whole_ life?”

“I can take a joke.”

“For sixteen years? Come on, man. What has she done to make you think her shit doesn’t stink?”

“She’s trying to change, for starters…which is more than I can say for you, Mr. Big Man on Campus.” Mike narrowed his eyes. “We all know you’d be nothing without your juice, bro.”

“Fuck off, Montgomery.”

“You first.”

“This whole school is out of its damn mind.” Noel stomped off.

Alison glanced at Mike apologetically. She had done nothing to warrant his support. She had been a major asshole to Mike for years, and here he was standing by her side…protecting her.

“Sorry,” she said, blurting it out so fast that it barely sounded like a word.

“Why? He’s the one who was acting like an idiot.”

“I know. But…for everything else. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized for slipping those dirty underpants in your gym locker your freshman year.”

It had been the first week of school. Mike had been hanging out with Mona, which was a huge faux-pas in Alison’s eyes. So to teach him a lesson she’d slipped a pair of dirty briefs into his gym locker. They had fallen out after class and everyone had seen them. At lunch Alison made a huge show out it, dubbing him _Skidmark_.

It had pissed Aria off so much that she’d threatened to take a whack at Alison with her mother’s hippie ‘talking stick’ that she used to keep classes under control. It had ended up with all three of them in the office. No one had gotten in trouble, because Aria and Mike were teacher’s kids, and Alison’s parents had just thrown money at the situation.

“Water under the bridge.” Mike shrugged it off. “I was always curious about one thing though.”

“What?”

“Where did they come from? The skivvies? Were they…real?” He cringed.

“Snagged them from a brand new pack at Noel’s place. I dirtied them up a bit. Left them outside for a few days in the dirt. Then I washed them a few times and added pudding stains, and voila.”

“I should be pissed, but your dedication is impressive.”

“It was a bitch move,” Alison said.

“It totally was.”

“After everything I’ve done to you and your friends…I wouldn’t have blamed you if you kept walking and let Noel pummel me with an encyclopedia.” She rubbed her arm and looked down at the ground.

“I doubt he even knows what an encyclopedia is, much less where to find one.”

Alison laughed, a nervous smile on her face. She’d never been alone with Aria’s little brother. It was weird.

“So…what are you doing here?” Alison looked at the mark that Noel’s grip had left on her wrist. If Emily saw it, she was going to fly off the handle. She might even kill Noel.

“Free period. I come here to sleep sometimes.”

“That tracks.” Alison chuckled. She glanced at him. How long had he been there? Had he heard her talk about Emily’s pregnancy? “How much did you hear?”

“I just heard him acting like a tool. Seemed like you could use a hand.” Mike leaned over and picked up a book that had been knocked over when Alison hit Noel. “You know, you really ought to consider a bodyguard. Most of this school would love to see you crushed to death under these bookshelves.”

“You taking applications for the job?” Alison asked.

Mike peered at her curiously for a few seconds, but then he laughed.

“Didn’t know you had jokes.” He smiled.

“I’m working on a new brand of humor. One that is less _Mean Girls_ based.”

“It’s working for you.”

“Thanks.” Alison dropped her hands to her side. “Hey, why are you being so nice to me?”

Mike shrugged, his shaggy hair flopping into his face. Alison took a moment to realize that he looked nothing like Aria. He’d really grown into his own over the past few years. His baby fat had faded and his facial features were more distinguished. He’d grown out of his little stick arms and legs and he’d filled out nicely. He was actually kind of cute in a charming dorky way. She’d never been able to see that before. Because she’d never taken the time to actually look at him.

“What you did…getting that asshole Wilden out of here…you didn’t just help yourself with that. You helped all those girls. Mona included. And that makes you alright by me.”

Alison smiled. She had never imagined a world where she would be seeking Mike Montgomery’s approval, but now that she had it she was glad that she did.

They walked out of the library together, past the snoozing person in the hoodie. Once their voices faded, the person slowly lifted their head and glanced towards the two disappearing figures. The hooded figure slipped out of the library just as effortlessly as they had slipped in.

It was easy to blend in when no one knew who you were.


	10. Heart to Heart

**A/N:** _Some people don’t like novel-length chapters. Some people think lengthy chapters are too long-winded. Some people see that word count and are like, “REALLY?”_

_It’s me. I’m ‘some people’. I admit it. I stare and fret thinking “Girl, you aren’t Stephen King. Cut this shit down.”_

_But I never do. Besides, this wasn’t a chapter I wanted to rush._

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

**Heart to Heart**

Emily didn’t seem nervous at all when they walked back towards the exam room. But the truth was that she was hiding her emotions. She didn’t want Alison to know how stressed out she felt.

She’d finally told her parents about the ultrasound that morning. They had offered to go, but Emily told them she was fine going on her own. Fortunately, she wasn’t actually by herself.

She wasn’t really sure why she’d asked Alison to come with her. She’d been making all kinds of snap judgements lately. She knew some of it was hormones. It had seemed logical at the time. Now she was just anxious to get it over with.

The nurse, a skinny brunette with a name badge that said Jackie Molina, took her blood pressure and checked her vitals. When Emily stepped on the scale she frowned when she saw the number. She’d already gained six pounds.

Normally she wouldn’t care about that kind of thing. She was confident in her body. But the pregnancy was making her feel insecure. Her brain felt different. Everything felt different. The nurse measured her stomach and took some notes. Then she pulled some blood and collected a urine sample.

When they got into the private room Alison sat in the chair next to the exam table, which looked like something that would be used to torture someone on a spaceship. Emily sat against the edge of the table and faced the nurse.

“You said your last menstrual cycle was roughly thirteen weeks ago?” The nurse asked.

“Almost fourteen.” Emily nodded. She paused to think about it. “Or…maybe fifteen?” She couldn’t remember. Everything about Texas was a blur.

“And this is your OB first visit?” She was trying to keep a straight face, but Emily could feel the judgment oozing off of her.

“I’ve been meaning to come in sooner. But I’ve had a lot going on. I just moved here from Texas. Time got away from me.” She was a little perturbed at the insinuation that she didn’t care.

“How have you been feeling?” she asked. “Any cramps? Spotting? Nausea?”

“I’ve had cramps here and there. No spotting. Sometimes I do get a little nauseous. I’ve gotten sick a few times. I have indigestion. And sometimes I feel uncomfortable and tight in my stomach, but it’s not overwhelming or anything. I’ve been trying to eat right and take my prenatal vitamins.”

“Good,” she said with a smile. “We’re going to run your bloodwork and check a urine culture today.” She glanced over her notes. “The doctor would like to do a pelvic exam since you haven’t had one yet.” She reached into a drawer on the table next to Emily and pulled out a gown wrapped in plastic. “You’ll need to change out of your clothes. Bra and underwear, too.”

The nurse stepped out to give Emily some privacy. Alison wasn’t sure whether to stay or go. It’s not like she hadn’t had her hands all over Emily’s body before. It’s not like they weren’t comfortable with one another. But this felt different. Emily would be vulnerable in a way unlike when they were making out.

It would be different if they were in the bedroom or in the privacy of Alison’s house or their little cot in the treehouse. It would be different if it was sexual. Alison understood that this wasn’t sexual. It was vulnerability. It was intimacy.

Emily reached for the button on her pants, which popped open with ease. She looked at Alison and there was a moment of awkward eye contact. Alison glanced at the ground.

“I’ll um…” Alison moved to stand up so she could turn away, which Emily thought was adorable.

She kept her eyes on Alison’s backside as she pulled her pants and underwear off. She took her shirt and bra off and pulled the gown on. Alison didn’t budge. She was waiting for Emily to tell her it was okay to look.

“You know you’ve touched most of what you’re shielding your eyes from.” Emily sat against the edge of the table again.

Alison heard the crinkle of the paper on the table and she turned around. Emily had put her clothes over the arm of the chair where Alison had been sitting. The hospital gown was hanging off of her shoulders. It was open in the front. There was a very wide opening exposing most of her chest. Her breasts were covered by two flimsy flaps that the doctor would easily be able to manipulate if she needed to do a breast exam. Emily had a thin paper cloth covering the front of her pelvis.

“Sexy, right?” Emily flirtatiously lifted her brows. “Nothing says romance like speculums and latex gloves.”

Alison answered by walking over next to her and silently taking her hand. Emily smiled at her.

“If I had thought this through I wouldn’t have asked you to do this. The last thing I want is you to think of me like this when we’re getting undressed for a _different_ reason.” Emily admitted.

“I can leave if you want me to.” But she didn’t want to. She wanted to be by her side.

“No. It’s okay. I don’t mind if you stay.” Her eyes slowly met Alison’s. “Do you want to stay?”

“I mean, I’m not going to leave and let another woman have her way with you.”

“Mmm.” Emily nodded, feigning a serious look. “Heaven forbid she seduce me with her cold gel and ultrasound probe.”

“You’d be surprised at the lengths people would go to in order to try and seduce you. You’re the hottest girl in town.” She put her free hand against Emily’s arm, stroking it.

“Remind me to get your vision checked before we leave.”

Alison smacked her arm playfully. Emily lifted their joined hands and kissed Alison’s knuckles. It was such a soft motion. Alison loved it when Emily showed her softer side. She loved Emily the badass biker, but she also loved her girl with the heart of gold.

Emily noticed a discolored blemish on Alison’s wrist. She frowned. The brownish-purple spot stood out against her fine milky skin. She let go of Alison’s hand to get a better look.

“What happened?” Emily gently circled the bruise with her thumb.

Alison glanced at a poster of a newborn baby on the wall and then looked at Emily. She wanted to tell her about Noel…about the library. But she _didn’t_ want her looking for a fight with Noel Kahn. She didn’t want to risk anything that could get her hurt. Emily was stubborn, and she would not back down from a fight. Alison was not going to put her in that situation.

“We’re playing volleyball in gym.” Alison gently pulled her hand away, trying not to get caught in her lie. It helped that it was partly true. Her gym class _was_ playing volleyball. She just wasn’t participating.

“Maybe we should have a doctor check your boo-boo while we’re here. I hear if you’re a really good girl you get a lollipop.” Emily teased.

“I’d much rather lick something else.” Alison moved to put her palm against Emily’s exposed thigh.

They heard a light knock at the door. It opened seconds later. An older brunette sporting a bob haircut and wearing a white lab coat walked in.

“I’m Doctor Sullivan,” she introduced herself. “And you must be Emily.” She plopped down on a stool in front of her in a friendly manner.

“The gown gave it away, didn’t it?” Emily asked.

“You wear it well.” Dr. Sullivan smiled.

Alison frowned at the woman. She knew it wasn’t logical to get jealous of a doctor in her mid-forties joking with her girlfriend, but she didn’t like it. It was too close to flirting.

“We looked at your urine sample to confirm the pregnancy, and you are _definitely_ pregnant.” She peered at her chart. “I’m sure Jackie went over what to expect at today’s visit.”

“She did.”

“We’ll start with the physical exam and then the ultrasound tech will join us so we can get a full picture of what’s going on inside.” She glanced at her notes and scooted the rolly chair towards the table where Emily was sitting. “How are your breasts?”

It sounded like such an odd question.

“I don’t know. If you want a professional opinion ask my girlfriend.”

Alison snickered. Dr. Sullivan even cracked a smile.

She had Emily lie back so she could examine her. Alison walked to the head of the table and kept her sights set on the wall as she held Emily’s hand. She didn’t realize how strange she would feel being with Emily when she was getting the pelvic exam. She felt Emily suck in a breath of air and jump in surprise. Emily squeezed her hand. Alison could feel her anxiety in her touch. She glanced at her to make sure she was okay.

The doctor noticed her tension.

“Sorry, I try to warm my hands up as best as possible.” She gave Emily an apologetic smile.

Alison wanted to throttle her for not warming her hands up better. Her girl deserved a more delicate touch. Emily saw the annoyed look on Alison’s face and it made her laugh.

Alison watched Emily’s face carefully. She could see her flinching. She could tell the exam was uncomfortable, and it made her feel helpless. Emily didn’t look like she was in pain, but Alison knew she had a high threshold for pain, and she hid it well.

When the exam was over the doctor pulled her gloves off and flipped them into the trash. She washed her hands and excused herself to go get the ultrasound technician. She told Emily she could get dressed and then walked out.

Emily put her clothes back on and sat back against the table. The room was oddly quiet. Emily and Alison both felt awkward. Emily took Alison’s hand.

“Ali? What are you thinking?”

“That I’m pissed those weren’t _my_ fingers touching you.” Alison rubbed her fingers over Emily’s knuckles.

“It didn’t exactly feel great.” She’d tensed up during the exam because she wasn’t comfortable. She knew it wouldn’t be that way with Alison. “I’m sure you’ll be _much_ better.” She gave her sultry smile.

It eased the tension. The fact that Emily could flirt anywhere at anytime was something to marvel at. Alison always felt like melting when she saw Emily’s smile. It was one of her favorite things in the world.

Doctor Sullivan walked back in with the ultrasound technician. They had Emily roll her shirt up and prepped her. The technician slathered her stomach with a cool gel and rubbed the probe against her skin to spread the gel around.

At first, Emily couldn’t see what they were looking at. It was just a blur of dull colors. The screen looked like a fuzzy haze of static. She could hear the constant thrumming and swooshing. It was like distant noises underwater. The noises sharpened and the tone changed to an echo of what sounded like helicopter blades chopping through the air.

The technician stopped, pressing the probe against something. Emily could feel what she was seeing on screen. She watched the image curiously. She’d seen ultrasounds done all the time in the media. But this wasn’t quite the same, because it was _her_ baby.

She watched the little movements on screen and she could feel them. She could feel them deeper than she’d ever felt them before.

She’d had a certain disconnect since she found out she was pregnant. The shock had been overwhelming, and her senses had shut down. But seeing the baby woke up every emotion she’d been suppressing. The fear dissipated. She was looking at _her_ child.

Hearing the baby’s heart for the first time couldn’t compare to anything else in her entire life. It made her feel like there was something more out there. Something that she couldn’t possibly understand…in the best way.

Mere months ago, her baby didn’t exist. And she would have been perfectly fine going about her life as normal, but she felt an explosion of emotions as she tried to imagine how she could possibly live without her baby’s existence.

She felt the instant connection…the one she’d been so afraid she wouldn’t be able to let herself feel. She knew that as long as she was alive she would do anything to protect her baby. She’d sacrifice everything, including her life, just to make sure her child would be okay.

She knew she was young and inexperienced and had a lot working against her, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care…because her baby existed…and everything felt perfect. She felt like she could do anything, _anything_ for her child.

The technician was talking them through what she was doing, but Emily wasn’t listening. She was too invested in the little blob on the screen. The blob with the beating heart. Emily felt a rush of emotions. It’s like everything in her life was shifting, and she was okay with it.

She could see a little nose and tiny little eyes and a mouth. She had a baby inside of her. She was creating life. She felt her eyes burning. She was speechless.

Alison stared in awe when the technician stopped moving the probe so they could see the flutter of the heart. The doctor recorded the baby’s heart rate and took physical measurements of the little body.

Alison blinked back tears. Seeing the physical proof of Emily’s baby was overwhelming, but in a good way. She could feel her heart swelling with joy. How could she be so connected to something she _wasn’t_ technically connected to?

She reached for Emily’s hand. She’d come for moral support, but it felt like something more. When she saw the heartbeat she felt something. She found herself memorizing every little feature. She thought about how far she would go to make sure the innocent little bean stayed safe.

“Wow.” Alison uttered, completely mesmerized. She looked at Emily and smiled. “You have a little human in you. It’s just…” She couldn’t comprehend it, “…wow.”

“I know.” Emily stroked Alison’s hand.

She felt the ultrasound probe pressing into her stomach. She glanced at the technician, who was heavily concentrating on something. Emily felt her throat closing up. The silence scared her.

“Everything okay?” Emily asked nervously.

“Hmm?” The technician asked. She saw the look on Emily’s face and quickly reassured her. “Oh, yes. Everything looks fine. I was just trying to find a better view. It’s a little early, but we might be able to try and get a peek at the gender today if you want.”

“You can?” Emily was surprised. “I thought that came later.”

“It usually does, but you’re right on the cusp. And with our constant advancing medical technology we can basically see your baby’s nose hairs at this point.” There was an echo of laughter in the room. “It’s up to you whether you want to know or not.”

Emily felt the probe pressing into her pelvis and it drew her attention back to the screen. The technician smiled. She glanced at Emily.

“I’ve got a clear view. Would you like to know?”

Emily wanted to sit up to get a closer look, but she didn’t want to ruin the image on the screen. She stared at the little outline of her baby. She felt a rush of fear, because knowing somehow cemented that it was real. But at the same time she was fascinated. She hadn’t come in expecting it, but she wasn’t leaving without finding out.

“Yeah, I would.”

The technician hit a button on the machine and then turned to face Emily with a huge smile on her face.

“It’s a girl.”

Emily had always had a tight grip on her emotions, but hearing that she had a daughter opened a floodgate inside of her. She felt tears stinging her eyes. She didn’t cry, but she felt a crazy amount of joy…and excitement…and terror.

“This is crazy.” Emily laughed through her tears.

“It’s like she knew she was coming in for a photoshoot. She’s in the perfect position right now.” The technician clicked a button on her machine.

_She._

A girl.

Emily squeezed Alison’s hand. Alison squeezed back. They shared a look.

It was real.

She was having a baby. A _girl_. A daughter. She was going to be a mom.

It was unplanned and unexpected, but that didn’t take away from the pure amazement that she was responsible for another living thing.

“A little you.” Alison smiled. She was on the brink of tears, too. Now she understood why people always acted so emotional about ultrasounds in the movies and on TV.

“God help the world.” Emily laughed.

The technician took several images and let Emily see a 4D image of the baby. It was simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. After they finished the doctor got her discharge paperwork and went over what she needed to be doing to ensure the best health for her and the baby.

“We’ll have you come back for your structural ultrasound in a couple of weeks. Typically we like to see you every 3-4 weeks to monitor your progression and then when you’re in the third trimester we prefer to see you more frequently, closer to every 2 weeks.”

Emily was still in shock over the whole visit. She hadn’t expected to feel so many emotions. She could see that Alison felt the same. Neither one of them said much as they walked out.

They climbed into Alison’s car. Alison had insisted on driving, because she didn’t know how in-depth the exam was going to be and she didn’t want Emily riding her motorcycle right after the visit in case she was sore or woozy.

Alison noticed Emily peering at the picture. She leaned over and observed it with her.

“This is insane.” Emily shook her head. She still couldn’t believe it. She was having a baby girl.

“Baby’s first photo.” Alison smiled. “Look at her vogue-ing for the camera just like her mom.”

“I do _not_ vogue.”

“You _totally_ vogue. You smolder and pout and just look uninterested in general which makes the camera love you.”

“Well, no one likes the paparazzi all up in their face.”

“Apparently she does.” Alison put her index finger gently against the photo. “Look, she’s posing for her close up. Look at her little arm.” She stared at the picture. “I think she looks like you.”

“She looks like a blob.” Emily laughed.

“She’s a cute blob though.” Alison tilted the picture.

Emily glanced at it and smiled.

“Yeah.” She couldn’t believe she was staring at the first picture of her daughter. She couldn’t believe she was _having_ a daughter. Her heart felt so full. “Yeah, she really is.”

“I bet she’ll have your eyes and your nose.” Alison smiled, kissing Emily’s nose. Emily crinkled her nose up and made a face that Alison adored. “You think she’ll come out with violet hair?”

“I don’t think it works like that.” Emily chuckled.

“Well, one thing is for sure, she’ll probably be a punk just like her mama.”

Emily glanced at the photo again. She had mixed emotions. She felt like she should feel nothing but excitement, but she also felt scared and alone and depressed. And guilty. Because the baby hadn’t just happened on its own.

She felt like a terrible person for not giving Isaac the chance to decide if he wanted to be there. What if he wanted to be involved? Would his parents even let him? Did she _want_ him involved? It all felt so complicated.

“You want to do something? Go get something to eat?” Alison suggested. She felt like celebrating. She didn’t know that Emily felt like she was in it all alone, even though she wasn’t.

“I’ve got work later. I’m kind of beat. I want to take a nap before I go in.”

Alison pushed her lip out into a pout and prepared herself to beg Emily to spend time with her. But then she remembered what they’d just done. She remembered that Emily had other things on her mind.

She started the car without a word.

Emily stared at the ultrasound image all the way home. When they pulled in the driveway Emily put it up. Her parents knew that she’d gone in for her appointment, but Emily wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to them about it yet. She was hoping she would beat them home so she could disappear into her room and hibernate until she had to leave for work.

That plan fell apart when she saw her mother’s car in the driveway. She said goodbye to Alison, but before she shut the door Alison reached for her hand.

“Are you okay?” Alison felt like something was off, but she couldn’t tell what it was.

“I’m fine.” Emily assured her. “I’ll call you later.” She squeezed Alison’s hand and smiled. “I’m really glad you were there with me.”

“Me too.”

Emily waved to Alison as she walked up on to her porch. She looked at the ultrasound photo and then put it in her pocket.

When she walked into her house she heard her mother rattling around in the kitchen. She was getting ready to cook dinner.

“Em, is that you?” She heard the door shut.

Emily walked into the kitchen.

“Hey.” Pam smiled. “How did everything go?”

Emily could never tell when her mother was just being polite or if she really wanted to know about the baby. She had not been enthusiastic when she found out about the pregnancy, and she really hadn’t gotten on board with it. They’d had several fights about it. Her dad was the only thing that kept the two of them balanced.

“Everything looks good.” Emily smiled back, trying to keep the peace.

Pam was oiling up a glass pan. She mindlessly rubbed the slick surface with her fingers. She nodded in approval.

“That’s good.” Pam put the pan down and walked towards the sink. “Your dad and I thought we could have a family dinner tonight. We’re having tamales. I know they’re your favorite.”

“I’m actually just going to grab something later at the café. I have to work tonight.”

“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “I just thought with the doctor visit and all you’d be taking the night off.”

“No, I’m fine. They just took some blood and checked things out.”

“Okay.” She sounded disappointed, which surprised Emily. “Well, I’ll make sure to save some leftovers for you.”

“Thanks.” Emily shuffled on her feet. She never thought she’d be uncomfortable in her own home. “I can bring home some dessert if you’d like. The café has a good selection at the bakery.”

“That’s okay. I’ve got a pie in the freezer. You need to save your money.”

The tension in the air made them both feel awkward. Emily wasn’t sure what to say, so she just nodded and smiled.

“I’ve got homework, so…”

She started to walk out of the room, but her mother sighed and called after her.

“Emmy, wait.” Pam walked over to her. She didn’t say anything at first. She put her hand on Emily’s arm and sighed. “I don’t want this to be who we are. I don’t want to walk around on eggshells anymore. I want us to have what we used to have.”

“What exactly did we have, mom?” It came out a lot more harsh than she’d meant for it to.

“Please don’t be like this. I know we’ve both said and done things we regret…”

“I told you who I was and you told me you were ashamed of me. You refused to accept me.”

“Sweetie, being a teenager is a confusing time…”

“I’m _not_ confused!” Emily raised her voice. She rarely ever raised her voice to her parents. She’d been taught from an early age to respect them. But she was frustrated and hurt. “I’m sorry you can’t accept the fact that I like girls, but it’s not a phase. I’m gay, mom. Deal with it.”

“But…Isaac…”

“I dated him because I was too scared to come out to _you_. I didn’t know what else to do. It was safe to hide behind him in order to keep you from seeing the real me. I love you, but it is _exhausting_ being your daughter.” Her voice broke. Tears bit her eyes. “I never thought you’d stop loving me.”

Her mother looked like she’d been slapped across the face. She had a frantic expression in her eyes, like she was losing her child.

“Emily, I will _always_ love you…”

“You think I’m a colossal screw up. I’m a disappointment and now I have to live with my mistakes. That’s what you said.” Emily brought her arms across her chest and stared at her mother.

“That’s _not_ what I said.” Pam argued. “I said I was disappointed that this is where you are in life. And that you have to take responsibility for your actions.”

“It’s the same thing.” Emily frowned. She chewed on her lip. “Do you think this baby is a mistake?”

“I don’t think any children are a mistake. I think this child doesn’t have a choice in the matter and it’s not fair to put that burden on an innocent baby.”

“So, it all just falls back to me then.” Emily nodded.

“Emily, you’re not listening to me.”

“Oh, I’m listening. I’ve _been_ listening.”

She remembered exactly what her mother had said about the pregnancy when she thought Emily wasn’t listening.

After she’d told them the truth her mother had blown her top. Her father had been in shock. They’d had a huge fight that had resulted in Emily storming out of the house.

She hadn’t gone very far, because she couldn’t get into the garage from the outside to get her bike. She’d been considering just taking off, but she didn’t know where to go.

She’d taken a walk around the block to settle herself down. When she got back to her house she stood outside staring at it. It didn’t feel like home to her anymore. She dreaded going back inside.

She’d glanced next door and saw Nick’s silhouette sitting on his porch. She could smell the cigarette smoke. Most of the kids in school had switched to vaping, but Nick was a traditionalist.

She’d walked over to say hello so she could avoid going back inside her house. He waved when he saw her approaching.

 _“What are you doing out at this time of night, little lady?”_ He’d flicked his finger against his lighter and lit the tip of his cigarette as she climbed the stairs of his porch.

 _“It’s only 8:30, party animal.”_ She’d laughed. She’d pointed to the cigarette. _“You know those things will kill you, right?”_

 _“Psh, my granddad smoked two packs a day and he’s as healthy as a horse. There are worse chemicals in our food.”_ He’d shrugged and taken a long drag. _“Want one?”_

Emily wouldn’t have hesitated at all if she wasn’t pregnant. She’d taken a few hits from Maya’s vape before. She’d had the occasional cigarette here and there, but she wasn’t addicted.

_“Nah, I’m good.”_

He’d given her a look that she didn’t quite understand as he slipped his lighter into his pocket.

_“I don’t think you are.”_

_“Huh?”_ Emily peered at him in confusion.

 _“I don’t think you’re ‘good’.”_ He threw up his fingers in quotes. _“You have been all over the place lately. I barely see you out anymore. And Isaac says you two broke up. What’s up? Is everything okay with you?”_

_“Yeah. Everything is fine.”_

He drew in a long breath and held it for a few seconds before turning his head and blowing the smoke away from her. He turned back and glared at her.

_“You’re a shit liar. I don’t know how your parents haven’t found out about the tat, yet.”_

_“After my mom’s epic freak out about my hair I figured she’d have a complete meltdown if she found out about my hidden ink.”_ Though that was the least of her worries. In fact, her parents would have probably _celebrated_ a tattoo if it meant she wasn’t pregnant. Or gay.

The tattoo was quiet. Subtle. Aside from the tattoo artist, Maya and Isaac were the only people who had seen it.

_“So, what happened between you and Isaac? He do something to you?”_

She’d nearly bitten through her tongue at the mention of him. She felt a sudden wave of nausea. She wasn’t sure if it was from the baby or her guilt. He saw the look on her face and mistook it for discomfort.

_“Want me to beat the shit out of him for you?”_

_“No. Of course not. He didn’t do anything wrong. It just…wasn’t working.”_

Isaac hadn’t shared that sentiment. He’d been so heartbroken when they’d had their break-up talk. He felt like it had come out of nowhere. And to his credit, it had.

_“Why?”_

_“I can’t explain it.”_ She didn’t even want to _try_ and explain it.

 _“Was it Courtney?”_ he’d asked. _“I know you two have some kind of beef…”_

_“Courtney has nothing to do with this.”_

_“Well, SOMETHING is going on. That house is like a bad juju energy zone these days. I mean, their parents are usually uptight, but they’ve taken it to a whole different level. It’s starting to rub off on Courtney. She’s been bitchier than usual.”_

_“How can you tell?”_ Emily rolled her eyes.

_“Don’t be like that. Why do you two hate each other so much?”_

Emily had just shrugged. Nick saw the way Courtney treated her, but he’d just always assumed it was because they were two headstrong females. He didn’t know the extent of Courtney’s torture. Or he did know, and he turned a blind eye to it, because he was a guy who thought with his dick. Emily couldn’t blame him. He tried to stay out of it.

_“Courtney and I are just cut from different cloths.”_

_“You’re not from any kind of cloth I’ve ever seen. You’re different.”_

_“I guess.”_ Emily glanced at her house. _“I should probably go. If Courtney finds you conspiring with her enemies there’s going to be hell to pay.”_

 _“I’m not afraid of her.”_ He’d scoffed.

_“You’re a little afraid of her.”_

He’d nodded.

_“Yeah. Okay.”_

_“Why are you with her?”_

_“She’s a freak in the sack.”_ He’d lifted his eyebrows. _“Something about those crazy repressed religious values.”_ He’d hinted, _“I help her find God...sometimes multiple times.”_ He had a shit-eating grin on his face.

Emily grimaced.

_“I could have gone my entire life without knowing that.”_

He’d laughed at her discomfort, but then his face had softened. He’d flicked the ash away from the edge of his cigarette.

 _“She’s got a soft spot. She doesn’t show it to many people, but she’s got layers.”_ Yeah, the girl had layers upon layers of homicidal tendencies. Emily had to refrain from calling her names. Because she knew Nick loved her. _“I guess she’s got me under her spell.”_

Well, she was definitely a _witch_ with a capital W. But Emily was too nice to tell him that.

 _“As long as you’re happy.”_ She’d shrugged.

 _“I am.”_ He’d looked at her with a calculated glance. _“Are you?”_

 _“Always.”_ She lied. Before he could call her on it, she quickly added, _“I’ve gotta run. I’ll catch you later.”_

_“Take it easy.”_

_“Go easy on the cigarettes, Nicky-boy. The world is going to need you one day after some idiot in power accidentally presses the button to launch nuclear weapons. You’re going to be our only hope.”_ She’d reached for the railing.

_“I wouldn’t go that far. I’m no Mr. Robot.”_

_“New York seems to think you are.”_ She’d hopped down his steps.

 _“Hey, Em?”_ He’d called after her. She’d turned around to face him. _“He’s miserable without you, you know.”_

She’d flinched. It had felt like a dagger being plunged into her chest. It cut deeper because of the secrets she was keeping.

She’d walked back home in silence. She’d significantly cooled off, but she still wasn’t ready to face her mom and dad.

She’d slipped back into her house by climbing the trellis and going through her bedroom window. She’d tiptoed out of her room and sat at the top of the stairs and listened to her parents talking.

 _“What are we going to do?”_ Her mother had asked.

_“It’s not up to us.”_

_“What do we do about Isaac? Do we talk to his parents?”_

_“She doesn’t want us to.”_ Wayne had been concerned about how upset his daughter had gotten at the notion of talking to Isaac’s mom and dad. He got the feeling she was uncomfortable with them.

_“We are her parents. She doesn’t get to make that decision.”_

_“Pam…”_

_“She’ll have to have it, of course.”_ Pam sounded like she was talking more to herself than her husband. _“It would be a sin not to…”_

_“Pam…”_

_“There’s always adoption. But God, Wayne…what if she decides she wants to keep it? What about her future?”_

Emily had been really peeved hearing her mother ranting. Most parents would be thrilled to have a grandchild. But all her mother was worried about was her own reputation.

_“She’s still a child. How is she supposed to take care of a baby? What about her life? A baby is going to derail her entire future. College. A career. Having a child at her age…it’s not going to be easy. And what’s with the ‘gay’ thing? How can she say something like that? She’s clearly been having sex with boys.”_

_“Honey, you’re spiraling.”_

_“I’m allowed. Our daughter is pregnant!”_

_“She’s still our daughter. She’s still the same sweet little girl who picked flowers for us when she was five. Tonight doesn’t change that. Nothing changes that. Not the fact that she likes girls. Not the fact that she’s pregnant. She’s STILL our daughter.”_

Emily could hear him getting worked up. She could hear the tension in his voice. Her father usually maintained a cool head, but they had a lot going on.

_“Wayne, you can’t take this stress. Not with your heart.”_

_“This isn’t about me. This is about Emily.”_

Pam had softly groaned under her breath. There had been a shuffling noise, and Emily knew that her father had pulled her mother in for a comforting embrace.

 _“What do we do? How are we going to fix this?”_ Her mother was exasperated.

_“There is nothing to fix. She’s not broken. This is not like buying her braces. This is who she is.”_

_“Who? Dating girls? Getting pregnant?”_ Those two things didn’t exactly go together. _“This is wrong. It’s completely wrong, and you know it.”_

_“I don’t like this any more than you do. But she is struggling with this. I can see it.”_

Her dad’s words had brought tears to her eyes, because she’d been so afraid of opening herself up to them. She _was_ struggling.

 _“And I can’t?”_ Pam sounded resentful and angry.

_“That’s not what I’m saying.”_

_“Then what are you saying, Wayne? Are you willing to just turn away from everything we ever wanted for her?”_

_“What we want for her is not the same as what she wants for herself.”_

_“What about swimming? She won’t be able to swim this year. She’s so talented. I don’t want to see her throw that away.”_

_“She’s not throwing anything away. This is her choice. It’s her life.”_

_“So we do nothing?”_

_“We let her decide.”_

_“My God, what happened to you? What happened to your values? Did you just leave them out in the desert somewhere?”_

That had agitated Wayne. Emily had heard him push up off of the couch angrily.

_“I told you I don’t like this. But she is alive. And healthy. And alive and healthy counts for a lot. I have a lot of friends I can’t say the same for. After everything I’ve seen, I know how to count my blessings. You do what you want. But I’m not going to push our daughter away. We’ll give her the opportunity to do what she wants. This is HER life. And if we don’t let her make her own choices about this we’re going to end up losing her.”_

There had been a lull. The room was quiet. Emily could hear the sound of her father sitting back down on the couch. Her mom sighed.

 _“So…what do we do? How do we handle this?”_ Pam had sounded like she was about to cry. _“I don’t want to lose my little girl. But I don’t know where to draw the line here.”_

_“We’ll figure it out as we go along.”_

There had been a heavy sigh, but Emily couldn’t tell whether it was her mom or her dad.

 _“This couldn’t have come at a worse possible time,”_ Pam had said. _“How are we supposed to help her if we can’t even help ourselves? We aren’t prepared for this.”_

_“Neither is she. So we help her prepare.”_

_“How? We’re already spread so thin with the second mortgage and your hospital bills…”_

_“Tricare has it covered.”_

_“Not enough. We can’t afford any of this.”_

_“We can’t afford not to support her.”_ He’d paused. _“To an extent. We can help her get on her feet.”_ There had been a pause. A hesitation. He’d been holding something back.

 _“Wayne?”_ Pam sensed it.

Emily could practically hear her dad vigorously scratching his brow in thought. It was a nervous habit. She’d gotten it from him.

_“It might be a bit premature, but…there is a position that pays a little more that just opened up. But we’d have to relocate. I can talk to the General about it…see what she has to say. Competition is a bit stiff, but I’ve got a friend who owes me a favor. I could call it in.”_

_“Are we really talking about doing this? Uprooting our entire lives? Uprooting HER life?”_

_“We have to do something. And at least in this case we can try to get ahold of some things before they spiral. And maybe…maybe a change of scenery would be nice.”_

_“Where is it?”_

_“Pennsylvania.”_

_“So…we move. And then what? We’re still in the exact same boat.”_

_“We’d be able to manage a lot better.”_

_“And what about Emily?”_

_“She stays on my insurance. That’s a given. We help her set down roots. We make sure she’s afforded opportunities that will help her gain some traction and become independent. We let her finish out her senior year and then help her transition into learning how to stand on her own two feet. We have to hope we raised her well enough to do what’s right for herself.”_

_“And the baby?”_

_“If she decides she wants to keep the baby then we can shuffle some things around. She’s already struggling emotionally, and this pregnancy is going to complicate that. I don’t want her to do this alone. She’s going to need us as her support system. And we’ll find a way to make it work.”_

_“This is just…a lot.”_ Pam had sighed.

_“I know. We have to find some kind of balance here. But I refuse to push her so hard that it pushes her out the door forever. I want her to know she always has a home in us.”_

_“Of course she does.”_ Pam didn’t argue. _“But I’m worried for her. This is a huge mistake. She’s going to have to live with it for the rest of her life.”_

The words hadn’t come out right, and Pam had immediately retracted it, but the damage was done.

Emily had been so angry that day.

She was still angry as she stood in the kitchen listening to her mother preaching her self-righteous ideals.

“Emily, I was upset. I was afraid for you. It was…it was a shock to us.”

“You think it was a shock to _you_?” Emily clenched her jaw and fought back tears. “I had _no_ idea. I was so freaked out. I told you I was gay and pregnant in the same night. Do you know how hard that was for me? How confusing it was? I slept with Isaac because I was so afraid people would find out the truth. I was afraid _you_ would find out the truth. I spent all of middle school and high school hiding in broom closets and kissing my girlfriends. I was devastated when Maya was shipped away. But I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t tell anyone because if I did I knew I risked you finding out.”

“Did you really think we wouldn’t love you?”

“I think I learned everything I needed to know about your love that night.”

“That’s not fair.” Pam argued. “You blindsided us. It was a lot for us to process. You just…you can’t understand what it’s like to be a parent and be so lost on knowing who your child is.” She touched Emily’s arm. “Honey, I love you.”

“You just don’t love the choices I make.”

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s actually really simple.” Emily disagreed. “I know for a fact that no matter what happens I want my daughter to know that I love her.”

“Daughter?” Pam’s eyes flickered with something that Emily hadn’t seen before. “It’s…you’re having a girl?”

“They said it was kind of early to tell, but they’re pretty sure.”

Pam didn’t say anything. Not even a “congratulations”. Emily hadn’t been expecting anything, but she was still disappointed.

“Wow.” Pam seemed flustered, like she wasn’t sure what to say. “Is everything…is she healthy?”

“So far.”

“You’re still taking your prenatals?”

“I’m doing everything the doctor recommends. I may have been irresponsible getting pregnant, but I don’t plan to screw up this kid before she’s even born.”

Pam’s face fell flat. She had a soft expression in her eyes. For a split second Emily believed that she cared. And maybe she did. But Emily wasn’t ready to accept her apology.

“Emmy…”

“I really have a lot I have to get done for my classes.” It was painful for her to look into her mother’s eyes knowing that she thought she was a disappointment.

Her mother was a complicated person, but Emily had always loved her. She’d spent a lot of her childhood running to her when she was hurt. With her dad overseas, it was just the two of them. They had their ups and downs, but they were at a point where Emily wasn’t sure they could ever go back to the kind of relationship they’d had when she was little.

After she disappeared into her room she let a steady stream of tears fall down her cheeks. Because part of her wondered if her mother was right. Maybe she had screwed her entire life up. And the one person she used to talk to about her fears was the one person she couldn’t talk to anymore. She had fallen so far away from her mom, the one constant who had always been there for her.

Emily felt an ache in her chest when she thought about all the times she’d crawled into her mother’s lap when she was little. Her mother would look at her like she was the brightest star in the galaxy.

Her mom didn’t look at her like that anymore. And it hurt.

Emily dug through the box with all of her baby items in it. She pulled out the photo of the day she’d come home from the hospital. Her mother was holding her, practically staring at her in love. She put the photo down and pulled out a small red dress. She stared at it. Had she really ever been little enough to wear it? How could something so small exist?

She lowered herself on to her bed, her hand on her stomach. Seeing the baby had shifted something inside of her. She was ecstatic and terrified. She was in love with someone she’d never met.

Emily’s mom didn’t bother her that night. Emily spent most of her time in her room staring at the first picture of her child. She studied it carefully. She memorized every shadow and every outline. She could nearly make out her face.

She wondered what she would look like. She wondered if she would have her features or Isaac’s features. She wondered if her Asian roots would be prominent or if Isaac’s African heritage would be dominant. He was mixed, so it was a toss up on how the baby’s genetics would come out. Would her skin be a smooth copper brown like Isaac’s or would she have a lighter bronze tan shade? She wondered if her hair would be curly or straight or if her eyes would be brown or hazel, like Emily’s grandfather’s eyes.

Looking at the picture made it real. It made _her_ real. And it made Emily wonder what kind of life she wanted for her. She had no idea if she could provide for a baby. She had no idea if she wanted to. The only thing she knew for sure is that she never wanted her child to feel unloved.

When Emily finally looked up at the clock she realized she was late for work. She quickly changed into her gym uniform and hustled out the door before her mother could ask her any more questions.

* * *

Emily got up early the next morning to avoid seeing her mother at breakfast. She hadn’t been able to avoid seeing her father though. He was walking through the front door coming home from an overnight shift as she was leaving.

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” He stopped her short, preventing a collision in the doorway. He shut the door behind him.

“I’m trying to get in an early morning swim.” Emily glanced at the door. She wanted to bolt past him and disappear.

“You have breakfast yet?”

“I’ll grab something at school.” She tried to remain cool, but her voice betrayed her. She tried to bolt again, but her dad softly grabbed her arm.

“Hey, is something wrong? You don’t seem like yourself.”

People kept telling her that. And she wanted to scream that she _wasn’t_ herself. She was herself…with a baby. It was hard not to lose her identity in her pregnancy.

She sighed, fighting back tears.

“Mom and I had a fight.”

“I thought as much. She was being weird on the phone last night.” He sighed.

“She can’t stand to look at me anymore.” She felt stupid for being emotional. She was angry. She _wanted_ to be angry. She didn’t want to cry.

“Emily Catherine Fields…that is not true.” His tone was firm, like it was when she was a child and he was disciplining her, but his actions were comforting. He reached up and rubbed the back of his knuckles against her cheek. “I know things haven’t been easy with you two. Your mother…she doesn’t always say the right thing. Don’t hold it against her, baby girl. She’s still trying to wrap her head around everything.”

“So am I.” Emily reminded him.

Wayne dropped his head and slowly nodded, as if that was a point he hadn’t considered. Of course it would be hard for her. Her entire life was changing. After he had found out he’d developed tunnel vision. He’d been antsy and felt like the family needed a change of scenery. It had been his idea to request the transfer.

Emily had been reluctant to move, but at the same time she knew staying in San Antonio was a bad idea. She didn’t know how she was going to avoid Isaac if they stayed.

Wayne had been so focused on the big changes that he’d missed the little changes in his daughter. He didn’t see that she was barely treading water. They’d been so worried and talking _about_ her that they had forgotten to talk _to_ her.

“Of course you are.” Wayne pulled her in for a bear hug. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t see that.”

When he let her go she slowly gazed up at him.

“Did mom tell you about the doctor’s visit?” Emily asked, her hand subconsciously moving to her stomach.

“Tell me what?” He couldn’t read her expression. His eyes widened in fear. “Did something happen with the baby? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. I found out the sex.” She smiled. “It’s a girl.”

Wayne’s expression changed from tired to contemplative. A slow grin spread across his face.

“You’re having a baby girl?” He asked. She nodded to confirm it. “I’m going to have a granddaughter?”

“Mmhmm.”

“That’s fantastic, sweetheart.” He cupped her cheek again. He looked at her like he used to look at her when she was younger. It made Emily feel safe. And innocent. “You know, you were the prettiest little baby I’d ever seen. I bet she’ll take after you.”

“Thanks, dad.” Emily had really needed to hear it. She really needed his support. She didn’t like the tension between her and her mother. Her dad always knew what to say. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. “I need to get going, but this was a nice start to my morning. I love you.”

“I love you, too, kid.” He kissed the top of her head. They pulled away and he straightened a strand of her hair. “Listen, don’t be too hard on your old Ma, okay? She’ll come around.”

“I hope you’re right.” She grabbed her jacket and walked towards the door.

“Drive safe.”

“Always do.” She waved as she reached for the door knob.

When she got to school she went straight to the swimming pool. She knew the dip in the water would clear her mind. The automatic floodlights and the lights in the pool were all she needed. It created a nice quiet ambiance.

Swimming made her feel at peace, though now that she was carrying a little extra weight she could feel the lag in the water. She used to be able to jet through it like a bullet. Now she had aches and pains. Her boobs hurt when she swam too much, and she felt like her arms and legs were uncontrollable and flimsy.

She worked on her technique, and after warming up for a few minutes her arms were slicing through the water in the most natural fashion.

When she was in the water she didn’t have anything to worry about. Not school. Not thoughts about her future. Nothing could bother her. It was her therapy. She worked herself until she was tired. Then she pulled herself out of the pool and sat against the edge with her feet dangling in the water.

She’d always liked the serenity of being at the pool by herself. It’s why she’d always gone in early for practice and stayed late after all of the other girls had gone home. She’d never had any problems before Courtney had tried to drown her.

She still remembered how it felt to be held underwater, unable to breathe. She’d scratched at Courtney’s arms and she’d tried to swim down away from her, but Courtney had a grip on her shoulders. Her fingernails had dug into her skin so much that she’d drawn blood.

Her body had been screaming for oxygen. Her brain had been pounding in her skull. She felt like her body was shutting down, but at the same time it was alive with energy. Her lungs felt like they were going to collapse.

She’d opened her mouth to scream, bubbles bursting all around her. She could taste the chlorine. She’d held her breath for as long as she could, but she’d instinctively breathed in when she felt herself passing out. Black splotches had danced in her field of vision. She wasn’t sure if her eyes were open of not.

But just when she was at the brink of passing out a cold wave rolled over her. The pressure was gone. She shot to the surface, desperately seeking air.

She’d gripped the edge of the pool like a lifeline. She was coughing so hard she thought she was going to puke. She could feel the water in her lungs. It was like accidentally inhaling a drink down the wrong tube, only a hundred times worse. Her throat burned. She’d regurgitated a pile of water and then gasped for air.

Courtney had watched her the whole time, motionless. Her piercing eyes were dark and uncaring. She’d looked at Emily as if she was a toy…a doll. Courtney was the demented child holding a magnifying glass. And Emily was an ant. A tiny speck that Courtney thought was expendable.

_“What the hell, Courtney?”_

_“You’re a freak of nature, Fields. Consider this your Baptism.”_

She had flipped her hair and sauntered away. Emily felt a sudden rush of adrenaline. She’d pulled herself out of the water and before she knew what was happening she was on top of Courtney.

She’d expected more struggling, but the bitchy queen had submitted fairly easily. Emily had watched the look on her face change from amusement to a feeling she didn’t recognize.

Her wet bathing suit had soaked Courtney’s clothing. Her thighs were flush against Courtney’s pelvis. Courtney had started squirming, but Emily had slammed her hands down and held her in place. Her drenched hair was dripping all over Courtney’s upper body.

There had been a moment where the coldhearted blonde had licked her lips and grinned wickedly at Emily. It had been an invitation. She had wanted Emily to fuck with her. She wanted to be wrecked by her. Because she had ulterior motives. And Emily realized that. She refused to give in to her. But she’d squeezed her wrists hard enough to leave a mark and then had moved to her feet.

She had turned to walk away without saying a word. She didn’t realize it, but she’d gone into shock after she’d walked out of the pool area. She’d been in the locker room for nearly two hours, sitting against the wall and shivering.

The wet bathing suit and the cold floor had not been a good combination. Her body temperature had dropped so low that the skin around her nails and her lips had turned blue. It was only when she went to look at herself in the mirror that she realized she was hypothermic.

The rest of that day had been a blur.

Emily shuddered thinking about it. She looked around at Rosewood’s pool. Everything was better now. Courtney was a distant memory.

The sun was starting to rise, so the natural light was starting to come in through the glass roof. Emily glanced up and saw the sky turning orange and blue. She looked down at the reflection of the sunset in the pool.

Her eyes slowly drifted to the growing bulge in her stomach. Her hand came to rest on the bump. She knew it was just her imagination, but it felt like her skin was warmer there.

She glanced at the clock. She was meeting Alison for breakfast and if she didn’t get changed she was going to be late. It was hard to pry herself away from the water, but she grabbed her towel and stood up. She slipped her feet into her flip flops and walked to the locker room to change.

She toweled herself off and ran her fingers underneath her suit and snapped the wet material away from the crevices where it had crawled up. She grabbed her phone to text Alison to let her know she was on the way. She saw a message waiting for her.

**_I hear pregnancy gives you back fat._ **

Emily growled in frustration. She didn’t want to engage, but she was sick of being a virtual punching bag. She couldn’t block the number. Whoever was sending the messages was using some kind of app to scramble the number.

**_No back fat yet. But I do have a big fat pain in my ass. How about you kiss it since you’re already all over it? Get a life._ **

She put her phone away and changed out of her bathing suit. She rubbed some coconut oil on her expanding chest, hoping it would help some of the ache in her breasts. She put her underwear and bra on. She pulled her sweatshirt on over her head and then pulled her jeans up over her damp legs. They were a tight fit. She struggled to get her zipper up.

As she was fighting against the pull tab on the zipper she heard the door to the locker room open and then close. She listened to the approaching footsteps.

“Hey, you’re not alone in here…just so you know.” Emily warned the other person so they wouldn’t be startled.

“I know.” Noel peered around the lockers, leaning against them with a grin on his face. He saw her hand on her stuck zipper. He slowly moved his gaze up towards her chest and then her face. “Need some help?”

“What are you doing in here?”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot.” He walked towards her. Emily tried to back away, but her backside hit the lockers behind her. “My fight is with Alison. Not with you.”

“If you have a problem with Alison then you have a problem with me.” Emily curled her fingers up and tightened her fists.

“I don’t think you want to scrap with me. Not exactly the best idea for you right now.” He smirked. There seemed to be a hidden meaning in his tone.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“The whole Wilden thing. He may have deserved that hit, but you still punched a teacher. You’re on thin ice with the administration. You can’t really afford to get in more trouble, can you?”

“Considering he’s behind bars I don’t think I’m going to be judged very harshly for that day.”

“He’s out on bail.”

Of course he was. The justice system made Emily so angry sometimes.

“What do you want, Noel?”

“I want to bury the hatchet.” Noel shrugged. He moved closer. He could smell the coconut oil. “You smell good.” He smiled. “You were looking really good out there, Fields.”

“You were watching me?” Emily felt disgusted.

“You got some moves. Never would have guessed you were swimming for two.”

Emily’s brain immediately went into overdrive. All she could think about was the fact that Noel Kahn knew she was pregnant. She knew the rumor mill would start to circulate eventually, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that she’d been getting texts from someone harassing her and that person knew about the pregnancy, too. So either Noel was her cyberbully or he knew who it was.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I think it’s kind of hot.”

He put his arm up next to her face, his palm slapping against the lockers. He was hitting on her. It pissed her off.

“Newsflash, Noel, I like _girls_. I wouldn’t touch your dick if it was a water hose and I was on fire.”

“Your little bundle of joy says otherwise.”

“You think just because I’m pregnant that means I’m easy?” Emily snapped.

“Rumor has it, you like being a dirty girl.” He ran his hand down inside the front of her jeans, his fingers nearly dipping below her panty line.

“Get off of me.” She shoved him. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Whoa.” He laughed. “Calm down, mama…” He put his hand against her stomach.

The second he touched her stomach she felt an internal rage, a biological maternal desire to fucking rip his guts out for coming _near_ her baby. She would stand between him and her child every time. She would stand between an entire damn army and fight to the death for her little girl. Her adrenaline coursed through her and the instinct she had to protect the life growing inside of her took over.

“Back off.” She kneed him roughly in the crotch.

He doubled over and groaned. He snapped back to his feet and instinctively grabbed her arm. She didn’t hesitate. She slammed her fist into his face, her knuckles making contact with his right eye and his nose. She double tapped him just for good measure, busting his lip. She felt his teeth cut into her skin, but it was worth it. She took a step back and put her arm in front of her stomach defensively.

“Don’t you _ever_ fucking touch me again.” _Or my baby…_ “And if you utter a word about any of this to anyone I’ll tie you up and drag you through the street behind my bike, you feel me?”

The last thing she needed was it to get out on social media and for it to get back to Isaac.

“You’re crazy.” He wiped blood away from his lip. “Those pregnancy emotions got you whacked out or something.” He started to stand up, but she punched him again.

This time he stayed down. He threw his hands up in defeat.

“God, fine! I won’t say anything.”

Emily hastily grabbed her things and rushed out, leaving him a bloody mess on the locker room floor. She was breathing heavily as she weaved through the locker room and into the showers. She disappeared into a shower stall. She closed the door behind her and pressed her back against the wall, closing her eyes as she tried to catch her breath.

She looked down at the front of her pants, which were still splayed open. She angrily grasped the zipper and sucked in her gut, trying to squeeze it closed. She only got it halfway before she gave up in frustration. She smacked her head back against the wall and slid down to the shower floor.

And she cried. Because her jeans didn’t fit anymore.

It was a stupid thing to cry over, but she couldn’t stop herself. All she could do was weep and silently curse her hormones.

* * *

“He did _what_?” Alison dropped her tray against the table angrily.

Emily had changed into her swimming sweats since she couldn’t get the zipper of her jeans up. She’d run a brush through her hair, but it was still damp and tangled from her time in the pool.

Alison had been able to tell something was wrong the second she saw her in the lunchroom at breakfast.

Emily hadn’t shied away from telling her. She’d calmed down after she had cried in the shower. She’d heard that hormones made women feel like they were going crazy when they were pregnant, but nothing could have prepared her for the emotions that blasted her.

“Is he still breathing?” Alison snorted through her nose. “Where is he? I’m going to rearrange his face.”

“Already done. He’s probably in the nurse’s office. He ran into my fist with his face. Numerous times.” Emily lifted her hand to show Alison the scrapes and bruises that Noel’s face had left on her knuckles.

Alison smiled and took her hand.

 _My girl._ She thought proudly.

“You’re bruised.” She frowned. _Kill Noel. Hard._ She made a mental note. She gently kissed Emily’s knuckles.

“You should see the other guy.” Emily smiled. She shook her head and sighed. “Of all the people who had to figure it out, it had to be Noel ‘roid-rage’ Kahn.”

Alison suddenly clammed up. Because Noel hadn’t figured anything out. _She_ had told him. Emily put her fork down.

“I must have slipped up or he must have overheard us talking about it at some point.”

“He didn’t say how he knew?” Alison asked.

“No. But I had a feeling someone had figured it out.” Emily could feel her phone burning a hole in her pocket.

“When I see him I’m going to destroy him.” The blonde growled angrily.

“Oh, who are we destroying?” Hanna sat down next to Emily. Aria and Mike were with her.

“Noel Kahn tried to feel Emily up in the locker room.” Alison glared at her fork. She wanted to stab it into Noel’s eye.

All at once, the three of them were talking in unison.

“The fuck is wrong with him?” Mike had a scowl on his face.

“He’s a dead man.” Hanna snapped.

“We are _so_ going to end him.” Aria was gripping her tray so tightly that her hands were shaking. “I’m going to use his balls for baseball practice.”

“Wow. Damn.” Hanna grimaced at the image. “You know, for someone who is a pacifist you are oddly violent. Go to Iceland for a year and come back a Viking Warrior.”

“We took MMA there,” Mike said.

“Seriously?” Emily tried to picture Aria pummeling someone. All four feet of her.

“There was nothing else to do.” Aria shrugged.

“If anyone deserves to be taken down a peg or two it’s that junkie.” Mike uttered a pissy swear under his breath. He glanced at Alison, a look that no one at the table seemed to catch. “I’ll lay his ass out in gym. For good measure.”

Alison smiled at him and he nodded.

“I took care of it.” Emily assured her friends.

She didn’t want to make a huge deal of it in front of the others. She didn’t want them to know what really transpired in the locker room. She wasn’t ready to tell people about the baby yet.

“No kidding.” Hanna looked behind Emily and saw Noel walking into the cafeteria with two of his jock buddies.

Alison and Aria looked over at him. His face looked like someone had taken a baseball bat to it. Emily clearly hadn’t held back. Alison knew part of it was her mothering instincts. Emily was already protective. And now that she had an extra person to protect she wasn’t messing around.

Noel glanced their way. His eyes landed on Alison.

She glared at him. Alison knew that part of the reason he was acting like such a jerk was because he was jealous that she was dating the hottest girl in school. Big man on campus didn’t like to be rejected.

Alison started to get up, ready to fight him. Emily grabbed her hand and tugged her back down into her seat. She subtly shook her head.

“He’s not worth it.”

“He tried to hurt you.” Alison snarled in his direction.

“And I hurt him back. He won’t be stupid enough to do it again.”

Alison looked up. Noel was still watching them. Alison kept her gaze on Noel as she moved towards Emily. To make a point, she grabbed Emily’s face and cupped her cheeks. She planted a kiss on her lips, holding their embrace for several seconds before looking back at Noel. She was clearly marking her territory. She turned to face Emily. She couldn’t read the expression on her face.

“Oh, shit, was that okay?” Alison questioned.

Emily grinned at her.

“Passive resistance and non-violent conflict resolution.” Emily liked it.

“Huh?”

“Yes. I’d love to see more of that.” Emily simplified it for her.

Alison smiled smugly at Noel and his buddies. She gripped Emily’s cheeks and they kissed again, this time more heated. There were a few “oohs!” from some of the other kids.

“Yeah, get your girl, Alison!” Mike hooted.

“All right, all right, break it up.” Mrs. Montgomery warned them from a few tables over. She was trying very hard to keep her authoritative expression on her face, but she had a hint of a smile on her lips.

Aria laughed.

“My mom totally ships you two.”

“ _Ships_?” Hanna scoffed. “Are you twelve, Aria?”

“Oh, please.” Aria rolled her eyes. “You’re the one who spent last night on the internet fangirling over some ridiculous Korean boyband.”

“Aria Marie Montgomery, do not disrespect my babies. Those are fighting words.”

“I think we’ve had enough fighting for one day.” Emily laughed, intervening in their playful altercation.

She looked over at Noel, who was sitting down across the cafeteria with his friends. They finished their breakfast without incident.

When the warning bell signaled that they needed to get to homeroom the cafeteria cleared out fairly quickly. Noel lingered behind, waiting until the cafeteria was empty. He walked towards the girls and Mike.

“Nice face.” Hanna moved next to Emily protectively.

Emily wasn’t sure at what point she had acquired road dogs, but Hanna was most certainly one who had a bark _and_ a bite.

Mike was the first one to climb to his feet. He took a stance in front of the girls.

“What, are you their bodyguard now?” Noel laughed at Mike’s attempt to intimidate him. He was a foot taller than the younger boy.

Alison almost laughed out loud considering that she’d suggested that to Mike in the library.

“Maybe. Test me and see what happens.”

“Don’t try to play the hero. We all know you shit your pants at the first sign of trouble.”

“Better than having shit for brains.” Mike fired back. “Where the hell do you get off harassing girls? You trying to be a little mini-Wilden?”

“Go take a gummi vitamin and have a nap. The adults are talking now.”

“Oh, I’m a baby. How original.” Mike rolled his eyes. He puffed his chest out.

“You can stop posturizing. I’m not afraid of you, kid.” He shoved Mike.

“He’s not the one you have to worry about.” Aria’s normally pasty white cheeks were a deep shade of red. “Touch my brother again and I’m going to break you in half.”

Though he wasn’t afraid of Mike, something about Aria’s tone frightened him. It frightened all of them. It surprised everyone but Mike. Alison took a moment to wonder what it must be like to be Aria Montgomery’s little brother. Because bitch was scary as shit when she was mad.

“Jesus, I just want to talk to Emily. Does this have to be such a dramatic show?”

“You made it a dramatic show when you tried to come on to her.” Alison grabbed Emily’s hand.

“I _tried_ to come over here in peace…” He put his hands up.

“You’re going to leave in _pieces_.” Alison bit down hard, her teeth grinding together angrily.

“That won’t be necessary. We have an understanding. Right, Emily?” Noel looked at Emily.

Emily couldn’t figure out what his angle was, but she played along because she didn’t want him telling Aria, Hanna, and Mike her secret.

“I said all I needed to say to you in the locker room.” Emily nodded. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re square.”

“You’ve got a hell of a right hook.” He rubbed a bruise on his jaw. “Should have known. I see the moves you use on Jake at the gym. Still surprised me though.”

“You better not have ratted her out.” Alison glared at him.

“I’m not a snitch.” Noel looked insulted at the insinuation. “I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” Noel looked at the ground. When he lowered his head the bruises on his face were really prominent. “I shouldn’t have come at you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Emily said. “But now you know that if you come for me or _anyone_ I care about I’m not afraid to lay your ass out.”

“I’ll back off.” He promised.

“And you can stop with the pathetic texts. Lose my number.”

Alison peered at Emily in concern. She hadn’t mentioned any texts. Noel had been bothering her over the phone, too? She was going to _kill_ him.

“What texts?” Alison asked. She glared at Noel.

“I never sent you any texts.” He looked at her in confusion.

“Has he been harassing you?” Her face reddened in anger. She faced Noel. “Have you been harassing my girlfriend? What did you say to her?” She looked at Emily. “What did he say? I’ll fucking kill him.” She whipped her head back towards Noel again. She wasn’t thinking. She was just reacting. “You hear me? I’ll fucking kill you…” She started to lunge towards him, but Emily grabbed her and held her back.

“It’s nothing.” Emily wrapped her arms around Alison’s waist. “He wouldn’t admit to anything to me right now because he’s afraid of me.”

“Whatever you gotta tell yourself.” Noel shrugged. “We’re cool, Fields.”

The second warning bell rang. Noel walked off to get to class. Alison felt her pulse racing. All she could think about was what could have happened. All she could think about was that ultrasound picture. Something had sparked to life inside of Alison when she’d seen Emily’s baby.

Her connection to Emily went beyond what she felt for the brunette. She didn’t quite understand it, but she felt something for the baby, too. And if _anyone_ tried to hurt Emily’s baby she was going to retaliate. Noel had threatened her once before. And now he’d physically laid his hands on her. Alison was not going to let him get away with that.

Before anyone could stop her, she was rushing after him.

“Um…Em…you might want to go after her. I think she’s about to pummel the other side of his face…” Aria frowned.

“So he’ll match.” Emily wasn’t worried.

If Alison swung at Noel he wouldn’t dare retaliate, not after what she’d done to his face. She’d always been taught to stand up to bullies. Sometimes they backed down. Sometimes they didn’t. She had a feeling Noel had been neutered.

Alison caught up to Noel. She reached out and grabbed his arm and forced him to face her.

“What do you want, Alison?” He was annoyed, but not angry. Emily had punched the ‘angry’ right out of him.

“You know me.” She kept her voice calm and even, but there was a terrifying undertone to it. “You know what I’m capable of. I fight much dirtier than Emily does.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Noel uttered under his breath.

“If you ever touch her again I’ll make sure to break more than your nose.” Alison dug her fingernails into his arm. He had tried to hurt Emily. He could have hurt the baby. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.” He ripped his arm away and chuckled darkly under his breath. “You two psycho bitches deserve each other.”

For a fraction of a second Alison thought about racing after him and tackling him in the hallway. But just as she was getting ready to lunge forward she felt something soft touch her hand.

She looked down and saw Emily’s hand curling around hers. Emily didn’t say anything. She just smiled at her and gave her a chaste kiss.

Alison’s anger dissipated. How could she be mad when she had someone like Emily Fields standing by her side?

Emily made Alison believe in love and redemption. She made her understand what it meant to care about someone more than she cared about herself. Emily was her love. And her love was having a baby. And she would do whatever it took to protect them both, whether Emily wanted her to or not.


	11. Diving In

* * *

**Chapter 11:**

**Diving In**

Noel was true to his word. He didn’t tell anyone Emily’s secret. He left the girls alone. He didn’t even look their way in the cafeteria the rest of the week. He kept his distance, though Emily and Alison both kept an eye on him from afar.

October flew by. Emily stayed busy between her job and school. But she always managed to make time for Alison, even if she was exhausted. The weekend before Halloween she arranged for them to have a picnic in the apple orchard.

She took Alison on a scenic ride so they could see the leaves changing. Alison had learned to trust Emily on the bike. She’d never given her a reason not to. Alison was learning to let go of control, which was hard for her to do. She had always been the one in charge. It was a change of pace for her to let Emily take the lead.

Alison watched the multitude of different colors from the trees as they whizzed by them. She could see broken bits of the blue sky through the tops of the trees. The weather had cooperated for them. It was the perfect fall day.

When they got to the orchard Emily unstrapped the basket from the back of her bike and led Alison out to a spot that she’d picked out when she’d come out with Toby to scope the place out. It was a clearing where they had a perfect view of the sky, but it was off-trail, so it was private and secluded.

She set out a blanket and set up the picnic basket. Alison kicked her shoes off and sat down on the blanket. Emily sat next to her. She flipped the top open. The first thing she pulled out was a mini deli-platter with meats and cheeses.

She saw Alison make a face, and she knew exactly what was on her mind.

“I take it you’ve been reading up on what pregnant people can and can not eat.” Emily put the food down on the blanket.

“I was curious.”

“Don’t worry. This is all for you. I’ve got baby-safe options for me.” Emily reached into the basket.

She pulled out a guacamole spread with crackers and bread. She had also brought hummus, vegetables, and peppers and a small cup of fresh fruit for them to share.

It never ceased to amaze Alison how thoughtful her girl was when it came to caring for others. She managed to do it so effortlessly.

“You really thought of everything,” Alison said.

She reached down and dipped a baby carrot into the hummus. She offered it to Emily. Emily leaned forward and cupped her hand underneath Alison’s and took a bite. Alison popped the leftover piece into her mouth and crunched it in between her teeth.

They snacked on the food. They played with the food, too. They took turns trying to throw grapes into each other’s mouths. Alison was a terrible shot, but Emily managed to score a few points. When they were down to the last few grapes she picked one up and held it up to Alison’s mouth. Alison put her lips around Emily’s fingers and sucked on the fruit. She wasn’t sure what tasted better...the juicy mixture on the tip of her tongue or Emily’s fingers. She tasted like coconut.

As she stared into Emily’s eyes she couldn’t help but crave more. She wondered if the rest of her tasted just as sweet. The taste of the grape soured her in mouth, and Alison realized she was only hungry for _one_ thing.

She took the piece of fruit in between her teeth. Emily pulled her hand away. Alison chewed the grape and then swallowed it. She smiled and leaned forward and pecked Emily’s lips.

Emily responded to the kiss naturally, moving into the embrace. First delicately, then with more force. She slipped her tongue into Alison’s mouth and gently caressed her cheek. Alison put her hand against Emily’s thigh and squeezed it, eliciting a mewl from the brunette. The vibration of the noise drove them both crazy in the best way.

“You are so amazing.” Alison smiled when she pulled back.

The kiss hadn’t _completely_ satisfied her hunger, but it curbed her appetite a little bit. Being with Emily was like an unquenchable thirst. And Alison was thirsty as hell.

“Eh, I guess I’m okay.” Emily played coy. She picked up the last grape and popped it into her mouth with a smile.

Alison felt her insides twitch.

_Shit, the things she does to me..._

But instead of giving in, she just smiled back at her.

“This was a cool idea.” Alison ran her fingers through her hair. “I didn’t even know this was here.”

Her family’s idea of an outing was taking a private jet to an exclusive luxury cabin in the Poconos.

“My parents used to bring me here when I was little. My dad would put me on his shoulders so I could reach the apples.”

“That’s sweet.” She couldn’t imagine her little punk delicately picking apples from her daddy’s shoulders.

“We always had a good time.” Her smile slowly faded. “I miss it sometimes. The way things used to be.”

“Speaking of, how are things with your parents?”

“My dad has been on base training this week, so it’s just me and my mom. I haven’t really been home much. The ice still hasn’t thawed between us.”

“I’m sorry.” Alison touched her hand.

Alison couldn’t register how her parents could go from picking apples with their little girl to pushing her out the door.

“I think she’s trying, but it feels…insincere. I don’t think she’s completely comfortable with me.” Emily tried to hide how much it hurt that her mother was essentially shunning her, but Alison could tell that she was bothered by it.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m comfortable with you.” Alison put her hand against Emily’s thigh, moving up until her palm was against Emily’s skin underneath her shirt.

She could feel Emily’s growing bump. She kept hoping that she’d be the first person to feel the baby kick. At Emily’s last doctor’s appointment they’d been told that she’d start to feel the movement physically in the next few weeks.

Emily found herself concentrating on her stomach more as time passed, trying to determine the difference between the baby and indigestion. She’d lie awake at night sometimes and picture her daughter. She kept getting visions in her mind about how she was going to look. She wondered what would make her smile and what she would like. She wanted to know everything about her. She loved that Alison felt the same.

“I’m _more_ than comfortable with you.” Alison slowly slipped her hand up towards Emily’s growing bosom.

“Oh, yeah?” Emily grinned, lifting her brows. She moved closer to Alison. She put one hand on Alison’s knee and her other against her cheek. “How comfortable do you want to get _in public_?” She pressed a kiss against her lips and moved her palm up the blonde’s inner thigh.

“Emily Fields, with all these innocent apples watching us? You naughty girl.” She grinned against Emily’s lips.

Emily brushed her tongue against Alison’s lips. Alison teased her by pressing her lips together. After a few seconds, she parted her mouth and wrapped her tongue around Emily’s.

Alison moved on to her knees, never breaking the kiss. She straddled Emily’s lap, their fronts touching. She moved down against Emily’s pelvis and they both felt a spark of pleasurable shock. Bolts of lightning striking them from inside, slowly overtaking their bodies. The warmth radiated down into their bellies.

Alison pushed into Emily, trying to get her to lie back against the blanket. Emily kept herself propped up and pushed back against her. They often fought for dominance and control. Neither girl liked to give in. Alison tried to push her down again, but Emily didn’t budge.

Emily put her hands against Alison’s waist and guided her sideways, moving to lay her down. She cupped the side of her neck and played with the soft fleshy part of her ear, which always made the blonde putty in her hands.

Alison’s back hit the blanket. Emily laid on top of her, mindful not to put all of her weight on her. She kept one hand beside Alison’s head. She pried her lips away from Alison’s long enough to see a serene smile on her face.

She looked gorgeous splayed out on the blanket beneath her. Her hair was a cute mess. Her cheeks were pink and hot. Her lips were wet and inviting.

“Are the apples still watching?” Alison bit her lip seductively. It did something to Emily’s sex drive. It made her feel like ripping Alison’s clothes off.

“I don’t care _who_ is watching.” Emily moved forward to capture her lips again.

Their tongues crashed together. Alison gripped the back of Emily’s ass, rubbing against her vigorously. She could feel Emily breathing heavily into her mouth.

They started to get carried away. They felt like the only two people in the world. Alison’s hands were all over Emily’s body. It sent an electric feeling through the brunette.

Emily slid her hand against Alison’s side, against her stomach, and then moved to her breast. Alison dug her manicured toes into the blanket and mewled into Emily’s mouth. The leaves beneath the blanket crunched as they gently moved against one another. Alison felt a fluttering sensation in her chest. It slowly started to turn into a pulsing desire. She pushed her fingers between their flushed bodies.

Emily felt her reaching into her pants. She pulled back to suck in a breath. She instinctively buried her face into Alison’s neck, inhaling her scent. She kissed the throbbing pulse point underneath Alison’s jaw. The heat from her breath was intoxicating. They were dangerously close to throwing caution to the wind. Emily exhaled a shaky breath.

“We should slow down before…”

They heard leaves shuffling and Emily shot up, pulling Alison with her. A few seconds later an older couple walked into the clearing. They smiled at them innocently and waved and then burst into a fit of laughter. If the couple had only stumbled upon them a few minutes later they might have gotten an entirely different look from them.

They snacked a little more. When they finished eating they walked around the orchard searching for the perfect apples. After they plucked them from the trees they washed them off at the complimentary washing station and went back to their picnic spot to eat them. Emily had brought caramel and chocolate to dip their apples in for dessert.

When they were done they laid down to look at the clouds. Looking at the sky had really become a staple in their lives.

Emily slid her fingers in between Alison’s knuckles and gripped her hand. Alison reacted by instinctively rolling to her side and pressing a kiss against Emily’s lips. Emily rolled to meet her. She stared into Alison’s crystal colored eyes. It was a prettier blue than what was up in the sky.

Alison was lost in Emily’s gaze, too. Sometimes it was scary how intimate it felt. They both wondered if the ‘honeymoon phase’ was going to burn out, though neither of them had brought it up yet.

“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” Alison questioned.

She didn’t mean to blurt it out, but she had a feeling that Emily was thinking the same thing.

“Do you?”

“I don’t know.”

She’d never been in a real relationship before. She had no idea how they worked. She knew that statistically speaking most people didn’t stay with their high school sweethearts. But Emily felt like so much more than that. She _wanted_ Emily to be more than that.

“We can slow down if you want…” Emily suggested.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just curious about us…about where this is going.”

Emily took a thoughtful breath.

“Listen, what we talked about the night I told you about the baby…that still stands.” Emily ran her fingers through Alison’s soft blonde tresses, her fingertips grazing her cheek. “If at any time you feel trapped or burdened or if the idea of me with a baby is too much for you I’ll understand if you don’t want to stay.”

It would break her heart, but she’d understand.

“It’s not even that. It’s just…” She peered at Emily’s lips. They were so soft. “I’ve never had feelings like this before. I feel like every time I’m with you my emotions are amplified. They’re crazy strong. You make me feel…I don’t know.” She _did_ know, but she was afraid it was too early to say it, “I feel like I wouldn’t be able to breathe without you. Is that normal?”

“Normal is overrated.” Emily pulled Alison into her arms.

“Says you, Indigo Girl.”

Emily wrapped her arms around Alison and kissed her forehead.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Emily laughed.

“If being with you makes me crazy then I don’t want to be sane.”

“This baby really doesn’t scare you? Even a little bit? I won’t judge.”

“Halloween has reminded me that there are far scarier things that exist.”

“Like what?”

Alison pressed her lips together in thought. Not much _really_ scared her. For the most part she was fairly unflappable. She wasn’t completely crazy about doing wild and reckless things, but she’d found a new sense of adventure with Emily. Riding the bike, their hikes, boxing. They were all things she’d never dreamed of doing. Not because she was afraid. Just because she didn’t see the point in them. But Emily had opened up her eyes to a whole new world.

“What scares you the most, Alison DiLaurentis?” Emily tickled her ribs, startling Alison out of her trance.

Alison gigged.

“Aria when someone messes with her brother.”

It was the first thing that came to her mind. She’d never seen Aria as angry as she had in the cafeteria the day Noel had harassed Emily and shoved Mike. Alison had run into her at the gym that afternoon. Normally Aria was nerding it up with Ezra, but that day she’d been beating the shit out of a heavy bag and sparring with her brother during a lesson with Jake. They hadn’t been lying about taking MMA.

“She is little, but she is mighty.” Emily agreed. “Got any other secret fears of our friends?”

“I haven’t been able to get the idea of Caleb poisoning my coffee out of my head since you told me what food workers do to people who verbally abuse them.” Every time she ordered something from _The Brew_ she worried she might keel over and die.

“It wasn’t poison. It was Visine.” Emily teased.

“You know something that _really_ scares me?” Alison had a serious expression on her face. Emily leaned forward. She was ready to comfort her. But then Alison grinned. “Cindy’s fashion sense and Mindy’s breath.” She made a face and shuddered. “I can’t believe I was ever friends with those demonic dopplegangers.”

“That’s it?” Emily laughed. “That’s all you’ve got for me? No deep dark fears of clowns or spiders?”

“We go to school with a bunch of clowns.” Alison rolled her eyes. “And you taught me all about how spiders are our friends.”

“I just think that we should learn to co-exist with our arachnid friends. I mean, unless you want to move to Antarctica, because that’s pretty much the only place they don’t live.” Emily glanced at the ground, as if she was waiting on a tiny spider to come crawling towards her. Alison wouldn’t have been surprised if that happened. She had a way with animals. She was like a damn Disney princess.

“You can be such a nerd sometimes.” Alison playfully smacked her arm. “What other fascinating spider facts do you know?”

“They have blue blood.”

“No they don’t.” Alison scoffed.

“It’s true. Look it up.”

“Whatever would I do if I didn’t have you around to teach me random shit?” Alison leaned into her.

“You’d probably still be at the top of the food chain.” Emily answered in a matter-of-fact manner.

“You never cared about any of that, did you?” Alison peered at her inquisitively.

“Not really. No. Honestly, popular people are a dime a dozen. But then we grow up. And popularity doesn’t mean anything anymore. I’ve always wanted to find something more meaningful…something that actually lasts.” Something like love. She wanted to say it, but it felt like it was still too soon.

Alison could see it in her eyes, and it made her come to a stunning realization. She _did_ actually have a _real_ fear.

“You know…in the spirit of honesty…” Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s. They both smiled, “…there is _one_ thing that scares me. For real.” Emily was expecting her to say love or intimacy, because they really were moving at such a rapid pace. But Alison surprised her when she continued, “Something happening to you.” She slowly lowered her gaze to Emily’s stomach. “Or…or her.”

It was a sentiment that Emily shared. She was still in the early stage of her pregnancy. She was terrified of something going wrong. It was a fear that had never crossed her mind two months ago. In fact, she’d _considered_ an abortion. But now…she knew that having the baby was the right thing for her.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. _Either_ of you.”

Alison had always assumed if she had kids she wouldn’t feel an emotional attachment. She just assumed having kids was something people just…did. Whether it was to repopulate or because they were bored. She didn’t know that _loving_ kids was an option. But she was pretty sure she loved Emily’s baby as much as she loved her.

“You surprise me every day.” Emily brushed her knuckles against Alison’s cheek. “I don’t know of many adults who want to tie their lives to someone pregnant. Much less any teenagers. Most people would want to run the other way. Hell, _I_ want to run the other way sometimes.”

“I’m stubborn.” Alison grinned. “I like to dig my heels in.”

“No kidding.”

Emily heard her phone chime from inside the picnic basket. She ignored it. The only person she cared about texting was lying next to her.

She still talked to Isaac, but it was tapering off, because the more Emily talked to him the worse she felt about lying to him. She was also still getting texts from her cyber-stalker. She had gone back to ignoring them. She was convinced it was Noel. He couldn’t taunt her in real life anymore, so it made sense that he was harassing her from behind the safety of a screen…where she couldn’t hit him.

She still hadn’t figured out how he knew she was pregnant. But he seemed to be the only one who knew. No one else at school had figured it out. She was starting to show, but she had been wearing clothes that hid her weight gain.

“I thought you were going to shove those heels right up Noel’s ass that day he came after me in the locker room.” Emily walked her fingers down Alison’s arm. She saw goosebumps rising on her skin.

“I would have if you hadn’t stopped me.”

“He hasn’t been bothering you, has he?”

“No.” Alison looked up at her. “Why? Has he been bothering you?”

“No. His face just bugs me.”

“Me too.” Alison snickered.

Emily sighed.

“I wish I knew how he figured it out.”

Alison was quiet. She still hadn’t told Emily that she’d been the one to slip up with that information. And Emily hadn’t asked. The longer Alison held on to the truth the worse she felt.

“Everything okay?” Emily didn’t miss her sudden radio silence.

“Yeah, it’s just…I need to tell you something.” Alison bit her lip. “But when I do you’re going to hate me.”

“Alison, I’m having a kid and you’re still with me. There isn’t anything you could say that’s going to make me hate you.”

“I told Noel about the baby.”

She felt Emily pull away, just like she knew she would. She scrambled to sit up.

“Why would you do that?”

“It was an accident.” Alison stuttered nervously. “He was threatening to hurt you and it just slipped out. I didn’t mean for it come out. I panicked because I thought he was going to do something to you.”

Emily put her index finger and her thumb against the bridge of her nose. She looked disappointed, which made Alison feel terrible.

“You told Noel Kahn that I’m having a baby?” She was still trying to process it. A thought occurred to her. “Wait. _When_ did you tell him?”

“Uh…” Alison had to think about it. She’d threatened Noel so much that it all blurred together. “The day he had a fit about Wilden not being able to come back and coach. It was right after you defended me when he grabbed me in the hallway.”

“What did he say?”

“Huh?”

“What did Noel say? Was he surprised?”

“I mean, yeah, you’re pregnant, Em. That’s pretty shocking.”

Emily worked out the timing in her head. The texts she’d been getting were from way before Noel had found out. So if it wasn’t Noel, who was it? Who else knew she was pregnant?

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“No. I swear. And I’m really sorry that I blabbed to Noel. He knows how to push my buttons and he got to me that day. I was only trying to protect you.” Alison looked at Emily, her eyes pleading with Emily not to hate her. Emily had a confused expression on her face, but she didn’t look angry. “Are you mad?”

Emily slowly shook her head. She knew Alison wasn’t perfect. She knew she was going to screw up. The most important thing to Emily was that Alison was _trying_ to be a good person. And Emily couldn’t judge her for her mistakes. She made mistakes, too.

“No. I’m not mad.” She had too much on her mind to be angry. She didn’t have it in her. “I know you didn’t mean to.”

“I really didn’t. It just freaked me out to think about him doing something bad to you.”

“You don’t have to protect me, you know.” Emily smiled at her and took her hand again. “I can throw a punch just fine.”

“Maybe I _want_ to fight for your honor.”

“Next time do it with more punching and less talking.” Emily suggested.

“But my tongue is the _ultimate_ weapon.” Alison leaned closer.

“Is that so?” Emily asked with an inquisitive smile. “Prove it.”

Alison did exactly that by grabbing her and pushing her lips against Emily’s. She pushed forward abrasively, a need to prove herself to Emily…and to taste her again. Her tongue dipped into the brunette’s mouth and she felt Emily do the same. Alison grasped her neck roughly and pushed forward with a hungry force. Something always came over her when she was kissing Emily. She was at the mercy of her heart.

Alison softened their embrace the second she felt Emily touch her cheek. She pulled back and took a shaky breath. Emily knew exactly how to touch her to make her speechless.

“You’re right.” Emily smiled, her breath hot against Alison’s face. “You’ve rendered me totally defenseless.”

She caressed Alison’s jaw. Emily smiled at her and held her gaze. It made Alison feel a burning fit of passion in her stomach. Emily was such an enigma. Strong, but soft. Brave, but careful. Tough, but sweet. Hard, but forgiving. It was so hard to be in her presence and not ravish her with kisses the entire time.

“He’s leaving you alone though for real, right?” Alison asked softly.

“He crosses the street when he sees me coming.”

“You never told me what he was texting you. What did he say? Just _‘show me your boobs’_ and stupid shit like that?”

“Something like that.” Emily shuddered thinking about what had happened at the gym…how close she’d been to that exploding light.

“He really could have hurt you.” Alison reached for her hand. Emily had _no_ idea. “The drugs make him unpredictable.”

Emily rubbed Alison’s arm.

“Did he ever hurt you when you two were together?” She looked at Alison in concern.

“I mean…he was an asshole, but he never laid a hand on me.”

At least outside the one incident in the library. If Mike hadn’t showed up Noel might have actually hit her. He’d had rage in his eyes. She’d never seen him unravel so hard.

“I can’t believe I told him about the baby. I really am sorry.” Alison whispered.

“I know you are.” Emily cupped her cheek. “Don’t worry about it. There are worse things I’ve been faced with than Noel Kahn.”

“And you go at it all swinging.” Her little fighter.

“Speaking of, I’ve got a sparring match with Jake today.”

Alison frowned. She felt like boxing was too risky, but she didn’t dare say anything. Emily was touchy about being told what to do. She insisted light exercise was fine, though Alison did not consider sparring _light_ exercise. She’d done it a few times with Emily and she was always exhausted afterwards.

“You’re going to have to tell them soon. They can’t have you lifting all that equipment and near all of that hazardous stuff.”

“Ali, I have a desk job. I sit at the desk and clean up after members have left.”

“You spot people. And what about boxing? Jake is going to be really surprised when you come in one day sporting your gloves and a baby on your boob. Don’t you think they should know to be careful?”

“Jake doesn’t hit me. The pads are for hand-eye coordination. We work on footwork and my reaction time. They’re just boxing drills. They help keep me focused. The doctor even says it’s fine. And I’m careful. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Alison scrunched her nose up. “But do you have to go in today? Can’t you do it another day?” She sighed and looked at the sky. “I could stay here all day.”

“Nice try. But you have SAT prep.”

“Stupid college.” Alison uttered.

“Yeah, how dare people want to educate themselves?” Emily started packing up their picnic.

Alison pouted, but she helped her gather everything and then fold up the blanket.

They both had to take a quick trip to the restroom before their ride back to town. When Emily was finished she leaned against the building, waiting on Alison to get out. She pulled her phone out to see who had texted her. She saw a message from Isaac.

**_Guess who is on the hook for a scholarship to Ohio State AND Southwestern University? Georgetown is interested, too. Ya boy is on a hot streak right now. Football is going to get me out of this town!_ **

She wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She should have been excited for him, but all she could think about was how Georgetown was only three hours away. If he got a scholarship he would be closer to her. If he was close he’d want to visit. It would be a lot harder to hide her secret then.

She was happy for him, but she was also jealous. Her dream of college was murky at best. She knew that having a baby didn’t mean she couldn’t go to school. She just had to put it off for a while.

“Hey, you ready?” Alison walked out of the building.

Emily looked up at the blonde, and she realized something that had never struck her before. She looked so young. Isaac’s text about college served as a reminder that they were still kids. It was entirely possible that while all of her friends were graduating she would be giving birth to a child. It was a scary thought.

Though, scary was par for the course seeing as how Halloween was six days away.

“Let’s ride.” Emily reached for her hand.

When she felt Alison’s fingers in hers the world felt lighter. She decided to focus on the pumpkins and the Monster Mash and not her future. It was less terrifying.

At least, she _thought_ it would be less terrifying.

* * *

Emily was putting the finishing touches on her Halloween make-up. She’d gone with a subtle blend for her Pulp Fiction costume. She popped her lips together to spread her lipstick evenly. She took a step back and admired herself in the mirror. She’d been skeptical about the _Pulp Fiction_ theme, but it had come together nicely.

Her tux fit her snugly. The white blouse she had on underneath the black coat gave the costume a perfectly balanced contrast. She had opted to go for a short clip-on tie, which tied the whole outfit together. The best part was that Alison had been right about the coat covering her barely visible baby bump.

Her phone buzzed from inside her coat pocket. She grabbed it, assuming it was Alison. But when she looked at the screen she saw a text from an unknown number.

**_All your friends are running from ghosts, but you’re running from demons. Watch your back, Emily._ **

Emily rolled her eyes at the desperate dramatic attempt to scare her. She hit delete and then double-checked herself in the mirror.

She heard the doorbell and shouted down the stairs to let Alison know that it was open. Her parents were at a charity benefit, so she had the house herself.

Emily heard the sounds of heels clunking against the stairs as Alison ascended them in her large black platforms.

“Hey there, hot stuff.” Alison stopped in the doorway.

Emily turned around and stared at her. Her jaw nearly hit the floor. The blonde looked drop dead gorgeous. She was wearing black skintight pants and a long-sleeved white blouse that had been tied up to show off her midriff. The top portion of the shirt was unbuttoned just enough to show the cleavage in her black lace bra. She had a flawlessly crafted black wig on her head.

“Ready to party?” Alison leaned against the door frame and smoldered at Emily, holding a fake cigarette loosely between her fingers. Her nails were a perfectly manicured blood red.

 _Damn, Alison._ She felt her stomach clutching tightly, her insides throbbing.

“Ready to throw you on my bed and have my way with you.” Emily walked over to her to get a better look at her.

“Charmed.” Alison held her hand out for Emily to kiss it.

Emily grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. Then she spun her around to see the whole costume. When she stopped moving Alison reached up to straighten Emily’s tie. She held her collar and pulled her in for a kiss.

Even with Alison in heels there was a noticeable height difference between the two of them.

“You look incredible.” Emily smiled at Alison.

“You look better.” Alison made a sultry face and bit her lip. She was seriously considering taking Emily up on her offer. She looked amazing with the costume on, but Alison knew she’d look even better with it off.

But a loud clatter from downstairs reminded her of why they couldn’t just rip each other’s clothes off.

“What’s the hold up?” Hanna called from the living room. “Do I need to come up there and separate you with a hose?”

“Our chariot awaits.” Emily wrapped her arm around Alison’s back, curling her wrist against Alison’s side. “Coming!”

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Hanna muttered.

She had volunteered to drive since it was raining out. Initially, Emily had planned for her and Alison to show up on her bike, because it was _Pulp Fiction_ -esque, but the weather was not working in their favor.

“I’m ready to dance.” Alison snaked her arm around Emily’s and pulled her closer. “Ready to blow everyone else’s costumes out of the water?”

They walked down the stairs, where Hanna was tapping her foot impatiently. Caleb was standing next to her. Hanna was in a tight-fitting police costume, complete with a utility belt with handcuffs and a baton. Instead of pants, she was wearing a skirt and leggings. Caleb was dressed as an escaped convict. They’d gone with irony because of Caleb’s stint in juvie.

They took a few minutes to admire each other’s costumes. They had gone shopping for costumes together, along with Aria, Spencer, Mona, and Mike, but they’d made a game out of not letting everyone else see what they were picking. It had been Emily’s idea. She’d been trying to figure out a way to be covert in trying on costumes so her bump wouldn’t show.

She’d suggested they keep the mystery alive. Everyone loved the idea. They’d taken each other’s suggestions and tried on a lot of different outfits, but instead of buying them they’d put them on layaway and had gone back to get them on their own.

Emily had no idea that Caleb and Hanna were even _thinking_ about the cops and robbers scenario. She thought it was hilarious. She reached out to check out the handcuffs. They were heavier than the regular plastic ones that costume shops made. Emily was impressed.

“Nice. I might want to borrow these later…”

“Get your own handcuffs. We’ll be using these tonight.” Hanna playfully slapped her hand away.

“You guys look great. Cool choice. Tarantino is always a win.” Caleb nodded in approval.

“Thanks.” Alison smiled.

She took it as a win anytime Caleb spoke more than two words to her. He was still very hot and cold with her. Hanna was, too, but they all tried to be civil for Emily’s sake. It made it less awkward when they all hung out at _The Brew_. Hanna had even gotten bold enough to tease Alison at the café before they went shopping for their Halloween costumes.

_“When are you going to get drunk and serenade Emily with Billy Joel again?”_

Alison’s only recourse had been to fake a laugh, though internally it was hard for her to let Hanna get away with mocking her. Because she knew there was spite behind it. Alison understood that spite, and they’d both accepted that they’d never be anything more than frenemies.

“Ready to rock, jailbird?” Hanna gripped Caleb’s arm. Everyone in the room groaned at the joke. “I’m the driver. I can make as many bad jokes as I want, so you can all suck it.”

No one argued. And _because_ no one argued she made four more cringeworthy jokes while driving like a complete maniac. When they pulled into the school parking lot, Alison couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. Emily gave her a hard time about her driving, but Hanna was worse. She’d nearly taken out two mailboxes and a parked car.

Alison and Emily walked into the gym together. There were cobwebs everywhere. Orange and black balloons lined the entire area in several different arches throughout the gym. A large spiderweb loomed above them with a giant spider dangling from it. Skeletons and tombstones were littered about.

There were various scenes from movies set up. The clown from _It_ was peeking out from the top of a brick sewer made from Styrofoam that had been painted red and grey. The creepy little puppet from the _Saw_ movies was on a track riding around the floor. The most elaborate decoration was a giant chainsaw suspended in the air with several detached body parts hanging around it. There was red paint splatter all over the place to make it seem authentic. The bright shiny chrome-colored paint really added to the creep factor.

“The school can’t find it in the budget to support arts and music, but several detached limbs and a giant chainsaw…no problem.” Emily looked around.

It was an impressive set up. Alison signed them up for the costume contest while Emily grabbed some punch. Mike and Mona were at the refreshments table. Mona waved. She was in an angel costume. Mike, in contrast, was of course…the devil. He wore it well. He even had a devious grin.

“Is this a school dance or the red carpet?” Mona admired Emily’s tux.

“What? This old thing?” Emily played it off.

“You look dope, Em.” Mike raised his cup of punch and nodded at her.

“You guys look great, too. Did you enter the costume contest?”

“Nah, Alison wins it every year. There’s no point. And now that she has you there is no way she’ll lose.” Mike shrugged.

“Keep your eyes in your head, Montgomery.” Mona poked him with a jealous frown.

“Good luck with that. He’s a total hound. He used to drool over Tinkerbell.” Aria walked up behind her brother and popped him in the back of the head.

She was in an evil queen costume. Her black and grey dress hugged her body. There was a thorny crown atop her head. She’d done a wing-tipped smoky eye-liner that really made her olive-colored eyes pop.

“Says the girl who had the hots for Aladdin.” Mike puckered his lips out and pretended to kiss his hand. “ _Oh,_ ” he heaved out a fake moan, “ _I want to go on a magic carpet ride in a whole new world with you, Aladdin._ ”

Aria seemed unfazed.

“Aladdin is understandable. He’s cheeky. But a _fairy_ , Mike?” Aria teased. She faced Emily. “He used to kiss my Tinkerbell doll on the mouth.”

He stuck his tongue out at her and jokingly threatened to tell their mother, who was chaperoning students across the room. She yanked on his devil tail. He grabbed a realistic looking finger made out of a hotdog and slapped Aria’s arm with it.

Emily and Mona laughed. Emily saw a spark in Mona’s eyes every time she looked at Mike. Emily understood what Mona saw in him. He was a good kid. He was different than he’d been when he was younger. He’d been a wild little thing. He’d chased after them on the playground when he was a toddler. Half the time he stripped out of his diaper and played in the dirt and the other half of the time he spent biting kids who tried to get too close to his sister. He’d been her little guard dog. He still had that protective streak, but at least he’d mellowed out.

“Mona, Aria, you and the rest of the committee did a really bang-up job getting this place ready.” She knew that they had been working with the dance committee non-stop. Mona particularly because she was head of the dance committee.

“It’s been such a haze.” Mona admitted. “A lot of the committee half-assed it because they were just looking for something to put on their college applications. It was a crunch to get everything done.”

“Well, you pulled it off.”

“Thanks.” Mona smiled. “We lucked out in the volunteer department.”

Spencer walked up behind Aria. She was wearing the same evil queen costume that Aria had on. Spencer looked like an unwilling participant. The costume was not very “Spencer Hastings”.

“Aria made me.” Spencer deadpanned before anyone could say a word.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall…”

“Finish that and I will stab you with my magical staff.” Spencer threatened the shorter girl.

“I’d pay to see that.” Toby appeared next to Spencer and Aria. “But don’t kill her. Just make her bleed a little. Ezra would never let me hear the end of it if I let his only other book club member die.”

“He’s the only other person in this town who _actually_ reads.” Aria defended herself.

Toby chuckled. He looked at Spencer.

“My queen.” He lowered his head and then stood back up.

Spencer took a minute to try and figure out his costume. He was wearing regular clothes. He was a little untidy, like he’d come from working out. He had on an unzipped hoodie.

“What exactly are you supposed to be?” Spencer questioned.

Toby reached up and moved his hoodie to the side, revealing a nametag that said, “Hello, my name is…Slim Shady.”

Spencer didn’t get it, but Mike burst into laughter.

“That’s hilarious, man.” He reached up to slap his hand. The tips of their fingers curled and they dropped their hands. “Yo, how come we don’t ever see you anymore? You never come to these things.”

“True. I hate conforming to society. I hate dancing, too. But I thought…” He glanced at Spencer. It was obvious to everyone _but_ Spencer that he was in to her, “…why not? Wanna dance, Hastings?”

“I’d rather sneak out the back door.”

“I’m down for that, too.” Toby didn’t shut the idea down.

“Em!” Alison called from across the dance floor.

“I’m being summoned.” Emily lifted the drinks up and nodded her head to wave to Alison.

She was halfway across the gym when she ran into Cindy and Mindy, who were dressed up like the twins from _The Shining_. It was right on the nose for the two of them. They had a creepy vibe even when they weren’t in costume. They didn’t say anything, but continued to block her path.

“Unless you want to wear this punch I suggest that you move.” Emily finally broke the awkward tension.

The girls looked at one another and smirked before breaking away from each other and letting Emily through. Alison was a few feet away, and she was ready to fight.

“What did they say to you?” She scowled.

“Nothing.”

“Seriously, Emily…what did they say?”

“ _Literally_ nothing.” Emily handed Alison her drink. “They’re in character, I guess.”

“Whatever.” Alison muttered. She took a sip of her drink before putting it down. “Dance with me.”

The weird interaction with the twins was quickly forgotten as the two of them showed everyone up on the dance floor. Alison had taken ballet as a child and it showed. Emily had some surprisingly great moves. The rest of the students watched, impressed with their coordination.

The slow songs were just as much fun for the two of them. They moved as close as they could get without a chaperone pulling them apart. As they swayed with the beat of the song, their hearts raced. Alison was so close to Emily that she could feel her heart thrumming in her chest. It made her smile.

Midway through the dance the DJ cut the music to announce the winners of the costume contest. Everyone gathered around in a crowd. Several honorable mentions were called before the big moment.

After a dramatic pause he called Alison’s name. There were a few sparingly light claps and a few mutters of disapproval. Someone coughed near the back. The DJ announced Emily’s name next, which wasn’t a surprise. She got a much better reaction than Alison. She’d made waves at the school because of her relationship with Alison. People were fascinated by her. She just had that pull of gravity to her.

Alison was the first to walk towards the stage. She saw Cindy and Mindy watching them and whispering. She could feel the jealousy radiating off of their stupid smug faces. They had been really sour towards Alison since the smoothie incident. They had promised to get her back, but Alison assumed that they were too spineless to do it.

Cindy said something to her sister and then Alison saw her moving towards the other side of the gym. It looked like they were going to walk out in protest.

Emily followed Alison up on stage. They were awarded a gift card and had their photo taken next to the giant Halloween display on stage. They had crowns made of thorns put on their heads.

Chants of, _“Kiss, kiss, kiss!”_ erupted from the student body. Alison and Emily peered at one another, a devilish glint passing between them. Before they could be rushed off of the stage, Emily grabbed Alison’s cheeks and planted a fiery kiss on her lips. Alison’s foot popped off of the ground. She automatically reached up and put her palms against the sides of Emily’s neck. Emily slipped her arm against the small of her back and quickly dipped her.

Seconds later they were being told by the chaperones to break it up.

Alison took Emily’s hand to lead her off the stage. She was thinking about taking Emily somewhere more private.

As they walked towards the edge of the stage where the stairs were located a shadow moved in the wings.

Everyone was having too much fun to notice the dangling chainsaw swaying unevenly. One of the ropes that was holding it had come loose.

It happened when they were walking down the steps. Alison was on the bottom step when they heard the snap.

Emily saw it a split second before Alison did. A rope holding the decorative weapon whipped through a pulley that was holding it up. The chainsaw spun wildly out of control as it flew towards them. It was in a direct path to hit Alison. Emily wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Alison, watch out!”

She wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her back just in time to get her out of the way. She spun around as the chainsaw was swinging back towards them. She scrambled forward to try and avoid it, but it clipped her in the side of the head and she fell down two steps. She was still holding Alison in a tight embrace.

Fortunately, there was no blade on the chainsaw, but it was heavy enough to knock her out. The room was silent except for the collective gasps that echoed up towards the open ceiling.

They landed on their sides. Alison flipped over on to her back, her brain trying to comprehend what had just happened.

She saw Emily lying on her side, blood trickling down her forehead from a gash near her temple.

“Oh my God…Emily.” Alison scrambled next to her. Her instinct was to reach for her face, but someone grabbed her arm.

“No, don’t touch her.” Spencer stopped Alison from moving her. “She could have a spinal cord injury.”

Alison blinked in confusion. She was dazed. She looked up and saw Caleb and Mike gripping the rope, trying to gain control of the monstrous thing. They were slowly lowering it to the ground. Alison’s eyes darted back to Emily. She saw the crowd forming around them and she felt like attacking them. She wanted to scream at them to get away. She instinctively raised an arm up, like it was going to block them from getting closer.

The motion clearly stated, _“Get away from my girl...”_

“What the hell happened?” Toby kneeled next to her. “Em?”

“Someone call an ambulance.” Aria’s mom pushed her way through the crowd. She moved the students back. “Give her some room.” She leaned down and gently touched Emily’s cheek. “Emily?” She kept her knuckles in place. “Emily, honey, can you hear me?”

“Ali, are you okay?” Aria asked, trying to help her up.

Alison glanced back at the chainsaw, which was now dangling directly above the stage where they’d just been standing. Something about the whole ordeal felt strange. It didn’t feel like an accident.

She looked back at Emily in a frantic panic, and something hit her.

_Oh my God…the baby._

“That cut is bleeding pretty bad.” Toby frowned in concern.

“Emily, it’s Mrs. Montgomery. Can you hear me?” She still wasn’t getting a response. She looked up and frowned. Alison could see the worry written all over her face. “Has someone called 911?”

“They’re on their way.” Spencer held her phone up. “Is she okay?”

Mrs. Montgomery put her palm against Emily’s cheek. Emily didn’t react. Ella glanced at another chaperone who was across the gym trying to keep the crowd of growing spectators back.

It only took the EMTs three minutes to get there. The adults were trying to get the kids out when they arrived.

“We need to clear the room.” Mrs. Montgomery called out to the other teacher.

“No. I’m not going anywhere.” Alison argued. She kneeled next to Emily in tears, gently taking her hand. She couldn’t say what she wanted to say out loud. _Please let them be okay…_

“Alison, the best thing you can do for her right now is to let them do their jobs.” Spencer put her hand on Alison’s shoulder.

It was a strange gesture that surprised both of them. Spencer wasn’t the sentimental type, but she could see what Emily meant to Alison. She had picked up that there was something underlying happening between them. She just didn’t know what.

The EMTs were very gentle with Emily. They got her stabilized with a C-spine collar to restrict movement until they could rule out a spinal injury. Then they got her loaded up on a stretcher.

Alison lovingly kissed her cheek and then gently squeezed her hand, hoping that Emily could feel her in her unconscious state. She faced one of the EMTs and begged him not to let anything happen to her. She wasn’t exactly sure how to tell him that they technically had two patients in one. She didn’t want the baby overlooked.

“Please take care of her. She’s pr…” Alison felt it on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t say the word ‘pregnant’, not with so many people around. Not after she’d slipped up with Noel.

She turned her back towards the crowd and leaned over Emily and discreetly touched her stomach. She glanced at the EMTs, hoping they’d sense what she was trying to tell them.

“Take care of _them_.” She mouthed so quietly that no one could hear.

One of the EMTs picked up on it.

“Wait, is she…”

Alison pressed her index finger against her lips and nodded. The EMTs didn’t say anything more as they wheeled her out of the gym.

The crowd was slowly dispersing and going back to the dance, though some people were still shaken up. The teachers had joined Caleb and Mike in trying to get the chainsaw down. Several more administrators were checking the other decorations. It was strange how fast things were getting back to normal.

Alison turned around, her foot hitting something on the ground. It was Emily’s phone. It had slipped out of her pocket when she fell. She leaned over to pick it up. She saw an alert blinking. There was an unread message in her inbox. Out of curiosity Alison touched the message to open it up.

**_What scares you the most, mama? Something happening to your new little family? Trick or treat, bitch._ **

Alison felt an icy chill shoot down her spine. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Had someone done this _intentionally_?

She saw the twins slithering towards the exit. Right before the accident they had been acting weird. She’d seen Mindy near the rope that was holding the chainsaw.

Alison bolted across the gym, pushing people aside. She followed Cindy and Mindy out the front door. She caught them at the entrance. She bulldozed Cindy, who bumped into Mindy, knocking them both into the building.

“Ow, watch it, _freak_.” Mindy snapped.

“What did you two do?” Alison’s eyes flickered in anger.

“What are you talking about?” Cindy stuck her nose up at Alison. Alison felt like hitting the nose-job right off of her face.

“I _saw_ you two. I saw what you did.” She was bluffing, but she’d seen _something_. “I’m willing to bet that someone had their phone out and they saw it, too. You’re going to jail.”

The twins looked at one another nervously. Cindy fidgeted with her dress.

“It…it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. It was just supposed to come down a little.” Cindy muttered nervously. “It was just a prank.”

“You put her in the fucking hospital.” Alison grabbed Cindy by her oversized collar. If it’s one thing she knew about the twins it’s that deep down they were both big sissies.

“Wait, wait!” Mindy tried to get Alison to release her grip on her sister. “It wasn’t our idea. We were just going along with it.”

“Who put you up to it? Was it Noel?” She looked around. She had a rage she could barely contain. “I’ll rip his nuts off, I swear…”

“It wasn’t him. It was some rando on Instagram. They saw some photo of you and Emily and wanted to play a prank on you. They saw the three of us in an old photo and reached out to see if we were still friends with you. They sent us a few ideas after they found out we were on the decorating committee. And then some painter in a mask set it all up.”

That didn’t make any sense. Who would want to hurt Emily? Everyone loved her. Except Noel Kahn and his cronies.

“What painter? What did he look like?”

“He was wearing a mask. _Duh_.” Mindy looked annoyed.

“Let me see the messages.”

“They’re gone. We were forced to delete them.” Mindy flinched when Alison stepped towards her.

“Bullshit.”

“It’s true.” Cindy pleaded.

“Yeah. We swear.” Mindy echoed. “We just saw it as an opportunity to get back at you for ditching us for the losers. It was just supposed to scare you. It wasn’t supposed to hurt anyone.”

“Well, it did.” Alison pushed her face into Cindy’s face. “You could have killed them…” She caught her slip up immediately and quickly backtracked. She really had to get better with the Freudian slips. “Everyone on that stage. You could have killed them. You could have killed _us_.”

“But she’s going to be okay, right?” Cindy asked.

“She better be.” She held a tightly made fist up by Cindy’s face. She drew back and slapped her so hard her nail sliced into her cheek, leaving a trail of blood to match Alison’s manicure. Cindy whimpered, her hand flying towards her cheek like she’d been shot. Alison shoved her roughly against the side of the building. “Whatever scars she ends up with after this I’m going to give you one to match. You hurt my girlfriend…” _You might have hurt her baby,_ “…and you’re not going to get away with it.”

“Ali!” She heard someone shouting her name. She let go of Cindy and spun around just in time to see the door fly open. “There you are.” Hanna reached out for her arm. “Come on. Caleb and I are going to the hospital. Spencer, Toby, and Aria are meeting us there. They caught a ride with Mrs. Montgomery.”

Alison stared at the demented doublemint twins and then took a step back. She kept her fiery gaze on them.

“I’ll deal with you two later.” Alison threatened. _Count on that._

She turned to face Hanna, and for the moment…they weren’t mortal enemies. For the moment they were just two people who loved Emily and wanted to be there for her.

Caleb pulled Hanna’s car up in front of the school and Alison and Hanna dashed through the rain to get to the vehicle. Hanna jumped up front and Alison climbed in the back.

She saw bandages on Caleb’s hands. It took her a minute to process that he and Mike had grabbed the rope to keep the chainsaw from coming back at them again. They both probably had some gnarly rope burns.

Alison couldn’t process it. She didn’t know who would want to hurt Emily. She didn’t know who was threatening her. But she wasn’t going to let them get away with it. She buckled her seatbelt and then pulled Emily’s phone out. She stared at the text, and then replied,

**_Her ‘little family’ includes the girl you just messed with. And *no one* messes with my family. I’m going to find out who you are and then you’re going to pay. Happy Halloween, bitch. -A_ **

Game. Fucking. On.

* * *

Caleb was a much better driver than Hanna. He got them to the hospital unscathed. Alison practically dived out of the car while it was rolling into the parking spot. She rushed in. Aria, Toby, and Spencer were already there.

“They’re getting her settled into a room. My mom has been getting updates from the doctor. She said we’re just waiting on her parents. They are at a Halloween party a few towns over and the roads are blocked because of the _Spooktacular Parade_ ,” Aria said, trying to keep Alison calm. “She’s awake. She’s going to be okay.”

Emily was okay, but what about the baby?

Alison waited impatiently for exactly three minutes before she went to bother the receptionist to see if she could see Emily yet. She got the room number and quickly navigated the halls to find Emily’s room.

Her bed was propped up. There were several machines next to her bed. One was a machine pumping fluids into an IV catheter in her arm. Another was measuring her heart rate. There were wires leading to her stomach that was feeding information to the machine. Her head had been cleaned and two butterfly bandages were taped across the gash near her temple. Emily glanced up and saw the blonde walking into her room.

“Damn, you got in here quick. Did you put the front desk clerk in a headlock?” She winced when she spoke.

“Something like that.” Alison walked to her bedside. She took Emily’s hand, careful not to jostle her IV line. “How are you?”

“I came to in the ambulance. I was a little groggy. My head is buzzing. I have a minor concussion. But I’m going to be fine.”

“What about…” Her gaze drifted down to Emily’s stomach, her heart pounding in fear.

“She’s fine, too. They did an ultrasound. She’s okay.” Emily reached up with her other hand and pat Alison’s fingers.

Alison breathed a sigh of relief. The baby was strong, just like her mama.

“What the hell possessed you to take that suicide dive?”

“A giant chainsaw aimed at your head.” Emily didn’t miss a beat. “No one else was hurt, were they?”

“No. We were the sole targets of your deluded stalker.”

“Huh?” Emily uttered in confusion.

“There was a message on your phone gloating about trying to scare you and your ‘new family’.” Alison held Emily’s phone out for her to see the message.

Her threatening message to whoever was on the other end of the phone had been replied to with a chilly,

**_Bring it on, Ice Queen._ **

Emily took her phone.

“It’s just some troll.”

“A troll who knows about the baby. Someone is _pissed_ at you, Emily.” The concern was radiating off of her.

“Did you seriously just start a text war with this psycho?” She read Alison’s message. “Are you insane?”

“I’m not just going to stand by and let someone do this to you.”

“I can fight my own battles, Alison.”

“I’m fighting them with you and there is nothing you can do about it. I’m your girlfriend. You’re stuck with me.”

“This person could be dangerous.”

“Yeah. No shit.” Alison motioned to the hospital room. “This is more than just some cyber-freak. This is someone who has a vendetta against you. Could it be Isaac? I mean…no one else knows about the baby, right? Do you think he found out and he’s mad you didn’t tell him?”

“No. Isaac would never hurt me, much less his own child. There’s no way.” He also would have confronted her if he knew the truth. It’s just the way he was.

“His sister, maybe? You said she was a psycho bitch, right?”

Thinking about Courtney made her shudder involuntarily. She dreaded to think what her life would be like if she was still in San Antonio. No doubt the vicious blonde would have made her life a living hell.

But Isaac would know if Courtney knew. Because Courtney would have told him. She would have really twisted the knife in his gut. She would do anything to hurt him.

They’d had a strained relationship their entire lives. Courtney had hated him when he was born. They were only a year apart. She was too young to remember her mother’s pregnancy, but the second her mother brought him home from the hospital she’d become a terror. She’d refused to sleep in her crib. She threw tantrums. She even went out of her way to hit him and bite him. Anything she could do to make him cry, she did it.

It had driven a wedge between them. Courtney had been jealous of all the attention her little brother got. She’d only made it worse by acting out. She berated him. She beat him. She stole his toys. She even made up stories about how he wasn’t really her brother.

No one ever believed they were siblings when they first met them. Isaac had told Emily that when they were younger they’d been taunted for it. He had let it roll off of his back. He didn’t care. But Courtney had never let it go. She’d held on to her anger.

And that anger would have reared its ugly little head by now if Courtney knew about the baby. Isaac would have confronted Emily if he knew. There was no way he would be texting her like nothing was going on. Emily could lie to him, but Isaac had never been able to lie to her.

“Courtney is in Texas.” Emily took a moment to appreciate the fact that they had 2000 miles between them. “She doesn’t know anyone out here. Besides, her parents literally _paid_ me to keep the baby a secret. They’d go through hell and high water to keep it from her, because they know she wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from her brother. She wouldn’t play games like this. She would go directly to him to spite me.”

“Then who?”

“I thought it was Noel up until you told me he didn’t know about the pregnancy until recently. Isaac’s parents are the only other people who know, and they can barely work their toaster, let alone create a spoof number.”

“What about Wilden? He’s got a lot of spare time on his hands now that he’s under house arrest. Maybe he’s holding a grudge against us.”

“This all started way before that.” Emily thought about her very first text message the night she’d moved to town, and the fortune cookie she’d gotten alluding to something exactly like this.

_“Don’t bother planning for a future. You don’t have one...”_

“I wonder if someone else in town found out.” Alison was thinking out loud. She wanted it solved. She wanted Emily safe. “Maybe it’s someone who is pissed at _me_ and they’re taking it out on you.”

“I don’t think this has anything to do with you.”

“I’ve screwed over _a lot_ of people who would love to see me suffer. You mentioned something about some texts you were getting back when Noel attacked you in the locker room…”

“Wait, so you think it _is_ Noel?” Emily wasn’t following. “I’m confused. Or potentially brain damaged.”

“Ha ha.” Alison said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Noel apparently has his hands clean on this. Cindy and Mindy said someone asked them to scare us tonight.”

“The demonic duo did this?”

“Not on their own. Someone else goaded them into it. They said someone saw us together in an Insta photo and reached out to them and that a stranger helped them set it up. Sounds super-sketch, but I think they were telling the truth. They act like they’re hot shit, but the truth is they’re just whiny little bitches. They’re scared of me.”

“Rightfully so.” Emily smiled.

“I’m going to destroy them for this.” Alison touched Emily’s hand. “Is it too late for you to teach me how to throw a decent punch?” The tiny little scratch mark she’d left on Cindy’s cheek didn’t feel like enough retribution.

“Just let it go.”

“They made you bleed.” Alison sniped angrily.

“Red is a good color on me. It goes well with my purple.” Emily reached up and ran her fingers through her hair.

“It’s not funny. You could have died.” She pouted.

“I’m fine.”

Alison saw a flicker of pain in her eyes and it pissed her off. She was going to mess Bimbo one and Bimbo two up.

“How long have you been getting these text messages?”

Emily shifted against the bed. She looked like she felt uncomfortable, but Alison couldn’t tell if it was because of the pain or because of what they were talking about.

Emily reached up and rubbed her head.

It was pain.

_Fuck the twat twins._

“I started getting them the weekend I moved here. But it just started out as typical high school bullshit. I tried to trace the number, but someone is using an app to scramble it. I’ve been thinking about asking Caleb for help.”

“Right. He’s like some big time hacker. We should definitely ask him. I’ll go get him.” She was turning on her heels to rush out the door.

“Not right this second.” Emily laughed, gripping her hand. “I need a little time. Because he’ll need to access the texts, which means he’ll probably find out about the baby. And I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“Someone just tried to kill you… _both_ of you.” She put her hand against Emily’s stomach. “And me.”

“I know that.” Emily pulled her closer. “And we’ll have plenty of time to exact our vengeance. But all I want to do right now is hold my girlfriend’s hand. So ease up on the vigilante act and sit your ass down.”

Alison felt like a giggly child when she heard Emily say ‘my girlfriend’. Alison had never been able to say no to Emily. She begrudgingly pulled up a chair next to her and sat with her, but she pouted to let her know she wasn’t happy that they weren’t plotting their revenge.

“Wait, did you say Caleb was here?” Emily asked.

“Yeah. Hanna, too. And Aria, Spencer, and Toby. They all really came through tonight.” Alison was still in disbelief at how calm and supportive they had all been, even towards her.

Hanna had put aside her hatred for her. Spencer had cared enough to try and comfort her. Aria Montgomery, of all people, had been the person to pull Alison off of the floor while she was sitting there as a useless pile of shock. The boys had leaped into action, too.

“You’ve got some kind of magical spell over the people here.” Alison’s nose twitched and she smiled. “Or you’re sleeping with all of them.”

“I’m only sleeping with Hanna. I pay Spencer and Aria to be in my gang.” Emily teased.

“I’ve got to admit…they’re pretty damn loyal.”

“There’s just something about childhood friends.” Emily nodded, yawning.

She looked exhausted. Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s.

“Do you need anything?”

Emily shook her head. She looked up at one of the machines that had numbers and lines steadily moving on the screen. She followed the lines and numbers and kept her eyes on it. She didn’t want to look away.

“That’s her heartbeat you know.”

The noises from the machine had been the one sound she’d wanted to hear when they’d wheeled her into the hospital. She felt a sense of relief the second they found the thumping noises on the ultrasound. Her child had become her heart. She couldn’t explain it. It was just a natural part of her now. The sound of her baby’s beating heart was the only thing she cared about. It meant more to her than her own life.

The rhythmic beeping on the screen was a stark reminder to Alison that it wasn’t just Emily who had been in danger tonight. She thought about the fact that something much worse could have happened. Someone had put her at risk. Someone had put her _baby_ at risk. It made Alison irate.

Emily had risked everything for her tonight. Because that’s who she was as a person. It’s what she did.

Alison stared at the screen monitoring Emily’s baby. She had no connection to the child, yet she had an innate desire to destroy anyone who threatened her. An internal instinct to protect her had flipped on the second she saw her on the ultrasound.

It was primal. It was the same feeling Emily had felt in the locker room when Noel threatened her. The baby hadn’t even been born yet, and she was already changing their lives.

When Alison turned away from the machine she saw that Emily had closed her eyes. Alison leaned forward and pushed some hair out of her face. She gently kissed her forehead and then settled back in the chair next to her.

Sometimes she was in awe at how much she cared about Emily and the baby. It was almost as if Emily was radiating a pheromone that she couldn’t resist. The dark-haired vixen made her giggly and giddy and dopey. All it took was just _one_ look.

Emily was something special. And Alison knew her baby would be special, too. Because Emily was giving her child a part of her soul. And every part of Emily was beautiful.

Alison sat with her for almost an hour. She wanted to stay until Emily’s parents arrived, but the nurses kicked her out.

She’d argued with them at first. She’d fought them. She was so used to getting her way everywhere else that she assumed she could manipulate the medical staff. But they dealt with people like her on a daily basis. When it became evident that they weren’t going to give in to her demands she finally relented, though she bitched about it.

She kissed Emily’s cheek. Emily opened her eyes, still groggy from the medications and the concussion. Through her fuzzy vision and splitting headache all she saw was a blur of blonde hair. Then she felt something brush her cheek. Alison’s lips.

“I’ll be back. I promise.” Alison whispered against her ear.

Emily tried to fight going back to sleep, but it was no use. She sank down into the hospital bed and drifted off again.

Every so often she’d feel someone jostling her, checking on the leads and wires connected to her body. She could feel gloved hands double checking her IV. She could hear someone pushing noisy buttons on the machines monitoring her. She only woke up long enough to see a moving blur of scrubs.

She’d been warned that with the combination of the medication she’d gotten and her head injury she might feel out of sorts or see things that weren’t there, so it was hard to decipher what was real and what she was dreaming.

She thought she heard someone shuffling in the doorway. She was expecting her parents, so she forced herself to open her eyes. The room was dim. She could see a light in the hallway and she thought she saw a shadow.

“Mom? Dad?”

There was no answer.

She felt her eyes drooping closed again. She saw stars dancing in her field of vision. Then she heard the sound of footsteps.

“Emily?” The voice was quiet and distant. It sounded like Alison.

Emily could hear her words echoing in her head,

_“I’ll be back. I promise.”_

Her eyes shot open again. Through all of her dizziness, Emily could see an aura of the blonde moving towards her. She was wearing a volunteer uniform and a face mask. It was a classic Alison DiLaurentis move. She assumed Alison had put her acting skills to work.

“Ali?”

“Hey. I told you I’d be back.” Something about her tone sounded different. Her throat sounded strained, like she wasn’t herself.

Emily blinked, but her vision was cutting in and out. The entire hospital room looked like it was filled with fog.

“I can’t see you.”

“You need to rest your eyes, sweetie.” She felt her fingertips against her arm. “Just close your eyes.”

Just hearing the suggestion made her tired. She blinked slowly and her eyes drifted closed. She could feel movement above her. Cool long fingers landed against her cheek. Emily felt a sudden chill.

“Your hands are cold,” she muttered.

“You’re just warm.” She cooed. “Always so warm. Mmm…my sweet Emily.”

Something about the words felt wrong. Alison didn’t talk to her like that. The way she was touching her felt off. She felt long nimble fingers sliding down against the side of her neck and then further down, tracing the curves of her body.

She slowly pulled the covers down. Emily felt the cool air hitting her exposed body. Then she felt her fingertips against her thighs, tracing up and inwards. She gently tried to pull Emily’s legs apart, her thumbs grazing her underwear. Her knuckles brushed the sensitive flesh there.

Emily’s body tensed up as she rubbed her.

“What are you doing?”

“Relax. Let me take care of you.” Suddenly, the hands were against her stomach, massaging her, touching the baby.

Emily’s body was screaming at her. Something was wrong. Alison wasn’t Alison. But Emily couldn’t move. She felt paralyzed. It was only when she felt a pair of smooth lips harshly pressing against hers that she felt her senses returning to her.

Usually, she felt the urge to meet Alison’s passion without hesitation. But her lips didn’t taste sweet. They didn’t taste like Alison.

There was a painful spark in Emily’s mind. The locker room in Texas was suddenly swirling around her in circles. She felt Courtney’s lips on hers. She saw her cruel eyes glaring into hers. She felt her lungs filling up with water. And she couldn’t breathe.

Emily jolted awake. She pulled back away from the kiss, shoving the body above hers. Her eyesight faltered for half a second, but then she saw her in clear view.

The eyes staring back at her weren’t the crystal shade of blue of her sweet girlfriend. They were a greyish blue, the color of a stormy sky over the beach...the kind of storms that were alluring, but dangerous. It was the siren song that pulled sailors to their death. It was an unforgiving ocean that was merciless and cruel. It was the opposite of what she’d seen in Courtney’s brother. They were so vastly different. Emily was certain she’d been born without a soul.

“Courtney.” Emily stared in shock.

The mask was gone. There was a sadistic look in her eyes. She tittered, a teasing look on her face. She reached out to cup Emily’s cheek. Her lips twisted up into a smirk. Something in her eyes changed. Darkened. She gripped Emily’s chin and dug her fingers into her jaw.

Emily jerked her hand back to retaliate, but then she felt something cool pressing against her abdomen. She looked down and saw a scalpel with a blade pressed against her stomach.

She froze.

“Do it and I’ll cut her out of you right now,” she hissed.

Emily felt her twisting the blade teasingly. She didn’t cut into her skin. She was just playing with her.

“What are you doing here?” Emily spit hatefully.

“I’m here for you,” she answered, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Why? What do you want with me?”

“It’s not _you_ I’m interested in.” She dragged the dull end of the blade across the top of Emily’s belly button. Courtney pulled Emily’s hospital gown up. She touched Emily’s stomach, which made Emily feel like puking. She wanted to hit her, but she was afraid the bitch would hurt the baby. “You don’t deserve her.”

Emily felt her body shuddering, trembling. She closed her eyes and swallowed a lump that was growing in her throat. Courtney’s touch made her recoil. Her stomach started to tense up. She felt a painful spasm.

“You don’t have what it takes. You’ll never be able to keep her safe.” Courtney’s face was fixed in a permanent grin.

Emily felt a stab of pain in her stomach, and for a second she was certain Courtney had driven the scalpel into her belly. When she looked down she didn’t see any blood on her skin. But the pain was intensifying. Her stomach felt like it was twisting up in knots.

She felt the pain radiating down her pelvis. Her entire body tensed up and a white hot flash exploded in her field of vision. She felt heated and nauseated.

Something was wrong.

She grabbed her stomach instinctively, knocking the weapon away. Courtney simply watched her.

“This is what you deserve.” Courtney stared at her.

“What did you do?” Emily had tears in her eyes. She groaned in agony. “Courtney, what did you do?”

Emily cried out. She felt like someone had taken a cattle prod and was using it to twist her insides around. It was like menstrual cramps, but a thousand times more intense. She felt sweat building up on her face, creeping down the back of her neck.

She started to call out for help, but she couldn’t. The call was trapped inside her chest, a breath of air unable to escape.

She felt Courtney’s icy fingers against her warm hot thigh and she jumped. Courtney smirked at her and pulled her fingers back. She kept her hand hidden for a few seconds. Then she gave Emily a callous look as she lifted her fingers to reveal that they were coated in blood.

“No…” Emily shuddered.

Courtney gripped her chin again, smearing the blood on her face. The thick red substance was potent. It made Emily feel dizzy. The dizziness, coupled with the pain, was almost too much to bear.

She felt herself passing out. Before her eyes closed she saw Courtney slowly backing out of the room. She fell into a deep abyss in her mind. She could feel her body twitching. She was screaming at herself to wake up. She needed help. Her baby needed help.

When she finally clawed her way out of the darkness she nearly shot up out of the bed. She was drenched in sweat. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

She put her hand against her stomach. The pain was gone. She whipped her neck over to check the monitor that was keeping track of the baby’s heart rate. It was steady.

Her daughter was fine.

She exhaled a sigh of relief, keeping her shaky hand against her abdomen. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, trying to shake off the nightmare.

It had felt so realistic. She was certain she was losing the baby. She was certain Courtney had been right in front of her. Talking about her had conjured her up in her mind.

She glanced at her reflection in a framed photo next to her bed. She saw a flash of blood on her face, but then it disappeared.

Emily’s eyes darted around the hospital room. All traces of Courtney were gone. But there was something in the air that disturbed her. There was something she couldn’t shake. It hit her after a few minutes.

She swore she could smell the fresh scent of chlorine.

From the hallway she heard an echoing lilting laugh. It was haunting, as if her fears had come to life to taunt her on Halloween.

Emily shivered and pulled the blankets up around her body.

It didn’t help the chill.


	12. Ride or Die

* * *

**Chapter 12:**

**Ride or Die**

Emily’s parents hadn’t arrived until after midnight. It had taken them hours to get there because the parade route had closed so many roads. The crowds had been insane.

They were still in their costumes from her mom’s charity work benefit. It was trippy as hell for Emily to see her mom and dad dressed up in their _Great Gatsby_ costumes. Her dad looked dapper and her mom was a flapper.

The unintentional rhyme in her head made her laugh out loud.

The room was spinning around her, so the dreamy theme of their costumes fit. Her dad was very handsome in his tux and bowtie. Her mother had gone for a more conservative look, which was ironic considering the look was supposed to be a conventional way to misbehave in the 1920s. Her diamond-colored dress was sparkling in the low light. She had a matching band on her head and gloves on her hands. She had on all kinds of gaudy jewelry.

But their carefree costumes did not match the somber looks on their faces. Emily could see the concern radiating off of them.

Usually she was fairly independent, but it was a relief to see her parents after the night she’d had. The hallucinations had been rough. She had checked the baby’s heart rate every time her eyes opened. Her hand had not moved from her stomach. She wasn’t sure if the baby could feel her, but she wanted her to know she was there.

Her dad walked to her bedside and kissed her forehead. He tentatively put his palm against her belly. It was the first real connection he’d made with her child. It took away some of her pain. The soft look on his face reminded her of all of her good childhood memories. It reminded her that there hadn’t always been tension between them. It reminded her that no matter what, her parents did still love her.

Her mother looked like she’d been crying. Emily wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t the first time she’d been in the hospital. She’d been a fearless kid, which equated to scars and sprains. She had broken her hand when she was seven, but luckily it healed without complications. She was fortunate that none of her injuries hindered her swimming.

“How are you feeling?” Her mom ran her fingers through Emily’s hair. Her fingertips grazed the bandage on her head. She glanced at it and sighed. “Oh, honey…that’s going to bruise.”

“It looks worse than it is.” She tried to put on a brave face, but she could feel a throbbing pain that was cutting down to her skull.

“Mrs. Montgomery tells us you were quite the hero tonight.” Her dad had something resembling pride in his eyes. He’d taught his daughter well.

“I just did what anyone would do.” Emily shrugged.

“Don’t be modest. She says it could have been much worse.”

“Caleb and Mike are the real MVPs. If they hadn’t gotten control of the chainsaw it would have swung back at us and then hit the crowd.”

Alison had told her all about how the guys had sustained rope burns to try and steady the giant decoration. It was shame someone had tampered with it and had ruined the dance. It had been a really good set-up. Mona and the committee had worked hard on it.

“Caleb…that’s Hanna’s boyfriend, right?” Her dad asked.

“Mmhmm.” Emily nodded, slowly blinking. Her sight still felt fuzzy. “He works at the coffee shop.”

“Oh, right. Yeah. Seems like a sharp kid. He knows my order by heart. And he always insists on doubling down on my military discount.” Her dad was able to put a face to his name. “So, he and the Montgomery boy dove on the grenade, huh?”

“It was a chainsaw. But yes.”

“Sounds like we owe him and Ella’s boy a solid thanks.” He glanced at his wife.

Pam had been an emotional wreck when they’d gotten the initial call about Emily. They couldn’t hear Ella over the crowd of partiers. All they’d picked up on was that a chainsaw had hit their daughter in the head and that she was unconscious in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. It had been terrifying. Emily understood that now. She understood what it felt like for a parent to lose their child.

It made her wonder if she would ever be able to part with her daughter if she decided on adoption. She wanted more than anything to be able to keep her, but she didn’t know how logical it would be. She was constantly going back and forth about how realistic it was for her to keep the baby. She would manage, of course, but she didn’t want her daughter to want for anything.

She was starting to understand that being a parent meant putting your children first. It meant doing what needed to be done. Sometimes that meant making difficult choices.

She touched her dad’s hand. He smiled at her.

“Now that you’re here, do you think they’d let me go home?” Emily sat up in her bed. He eased her back down.

“No can do, kiddo. They want to monitor you and the baby overnight.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a headache. We really don’t need the bills stacking up…” Emily knew they couldn’t afford any more hospital stays. The ambulance ride alone was going to set them way back.

“Emmy, don’t worry about that,” he was astonished she was even thinking about that.

He shared a look with Pam that Emily didn’t catch. They had been doing their best to try and make sure Emily had a balance in her life, but the last thing they wanted was for her to worry about emergencies.

“We’ll take you home in the morning as long as the doctor says it’s okay.” He cupped her neck. His thumb brushed her cheek.

Emily knew there was no use in arguing with them. She couldn’t exactly storm out of the room.

“Guess I’ll see you in the morning then,” she mumbled sleepily. “You should get home.” She glanced at her mother’s outfit. “Those heels look really uncomfortable.”

“We’re staying right here, honey.” Her mother gripped her hand.

“In _those_ outfits? I’m going to wake up and think I’m dead.”

That got a laugh out of both of her parents.

She didn’t stay awake much longer. The last thought she had before she drifted off to sleep was whether or not Alison had made it home safely.

Alison hadn’t made it home at all, at least not for long. She had gotten a ride home from Ella Montgomery, who repeatedly asked her if she was okay. Alison wasn’t sure why Aria and Mike’s mom cared about her. She’d been terrible to her children. By all accounts, Ella should have hated her. Then again, she was a teacher…and teachers were annoyingly compassionate by nature.

Halfway to her house she actually wished she was back in the car with Hanna at the wheel.

While Alison had been sitting with Emily, Ella had told the rest of the kids to go home. Apparently, Hanna had held out the longest. She and Caleb had left just minutes before Alison got kicked out of Emily’s room.

So Alison had been stuck with Mrs. Montgomery. The ride was awkward. She’d stared out the window to avoid making eye contact. As they drove through the trees their shadows stretched across the road and darkened the car. Alison peered out the front windshield and watched as the headlights swept across the street.

The drive felt like it was taking _forever_. When she _finally_ got home she was practically ready to leap out of the car.

“Would you like me to speak with your parents and explain what’s going on?” she asked.

Alison almost laughed at the suggestion.

“Mrs. Montgomery, you’ve met my parents. Do you really think they’re going to care?”

In the light of the dashboard Alison could see Mrs. Montgomery pinching her brows together in thought. The silence in the car was painfully awkward. The older woman gripped the steering wheel and turned to face the blonde.

“Alison, I had no idea what you were going through. With your home life and with Coach Wilden…” She paused, trying to consider the most diplomatic way to talk to her, teacher to student, “If I had known what he was doing…” Her hands tightened on the wheel. The motion reminded Alison that Aria said her mom had a temper. It probably didn’t help that Mike’s girlfriend had also been a victim of his abuse of power. “You’ve been through a lot. And I just want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to…”

It made Alison’s skin crawl to think about talking to someone she didn’t know.

“Thanks, but I’m good.” She had Emily. Emily was her person. “I appreciate the ride.” She reached for the door handle. She glanced back at the teacher. She was being much nicer than she deserved. “Will you…” She gripped the door handle, “Can you thank Mike and Aria for me?”

“Of course.”

Before Mrs. Montgomery could ask her to sing kumbaya or talk about her feelings Alison flung the door open, quickly thanking her before running towards her porch.

She hadn’t even gone inside the house. She’d grabbed her keys out of her purse and then she’d disappeared into the night again. While Emily slept off her concussion the pissed off blonde had decided to stake out the twins’ place. She sat outside in the dark…watching…waiting.

She knew their house inside and out. They’d used to hang out in the sunroom overlooking the backyard all the time. She could easily get in undetected. She thought of all the terrible things she could to do them. Shave their heads while they slept. Put diseased-filled vermin in their bedrooms. Unbolt the safety banister at the top of their second story porch. Strategically place rusty nails in baseboards and on the winding staircase that led to their living room. She’d unleash the plague on them if she had the means to. She wanted the fake blood they’d had on their costumes to be real blood.

But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wanted their punishment to be far more brutal. She wanted it to last for a long time. She wanted them to know that messing with her girl was a _huge_ mistake. She wanted it to follow them for the rest of their lives. She knew how to destroy them from afar without the attempted murder. So, after an hour of watching the empty house, Alison silently drove away.

If she would have waited five more minutes she would have seen a familiar car pulling on to the street. She would have seen Wilden behind the wheel chatting with a younger man in the passenger seat. She would have seen the car pull to a stop four houses from Cindy and Mindy’s house. And she would have seen the twins slipping out of the backseat on either side of the car.

Instead, all she saw in her rearview mirror was the street disappearing as she turned on to the main road.

As she was pulling the car into her driveway she saw a spark in the darkness on her front porch. She knew exactly what it was.

When she walked towards the door she found her father sitting on the bench near the stairs. He had a glass of whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other. He puffed on his cigar as she came up the steps. He didn’t say anything. He just sat there in the dark staring at her. She saw his face in the glow of his cigar light.

“You look like a whore.” He glanced at her costume.

“You would know.” She walked past him without even batting an eye. “You reek of the strip club.”

As she walked by him she saw his arm shoot out in the darkness. He snatched her wrist, whipping her around to face him. It took every ounce of self control she had to keep from punching his teeth into the back of his throat. He deserved it. She had been tested all night, and she was _ready_ for a fight.

“You watch your mouth you little shit.” He hissed.

She jerked her hand away from him.

“I’m not a little girl anymore. You don’t scare me,” she bit back defensively.

But her heart was racing. Her dad’s temper had always frightened her, but instead of allowing that fear to consume her she had turned around and channeled it into using it to intimidate others. But she saw what she would become if she didn’t change. Emily had helped her see that. And she _never_ wanted to be like her parents.

She stormed away before their fight turned into a screaming match. Her father didn’t care enough to storm after her. She knew that much.

She slammed the front door loudly and stomped towards the living room. Her mother was curled up on the couch reading a magazine.

“You’re late,” she said nonchalantly.

“Nice of you to notice, _mother_ ,” she uttered caustically.

“There’s no need to be testy, Alison.” Her mother glared at her. “I swear you’ve got your father’s temper.”

It felt like a direct attack, and she took it personally.

“You’d be pissed off too if you had the night I had.” Alison ripped her wig off, letting her hair flow freely down over her shoulders. “I almost got killed by a giant chainsaw.”

“Yes, I remember Halloween,” her mother rolled her eyes.

Alison felt like she was looking into a mirror. She realized she looked exactly like her mother when she rolled her eyes. It was genetic.

“A huge fucking decoration at the dance nearly knocked my head off. My girlfriend saved me.”

There was a beat.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” she replied casually.

 _That’s_ what she’d taken away from that? Not the ‘hey mom, I almost died’ part?

_Maybe if you were around more you’d know more about me..._

“Yes! You’ve met her. Emily.”

“Oh. _Her_.” She furrowed her brow. Alison bristled up. What did she mean by that? “I thought you were tutoring her.”

_Jesus Christ, mother. You couldn’t be more oblivious…_

“You know…you could do better.” Her mother went back to flipping through her magazine. “She’s below you, dear.”

Another direct hit. Another reason to be pissed off.

“She’s the only reason I’m standing here right now,” Alison snapped.

_Fuck you, mom. Fuck you AND dad._

“Her parents seem nice enough, and I’m sure they did their best, but she’s so trashy. She looks like a punk.”

God, her parents were so judgmental. She hated them.

“She’s _my_ punk.” Alison grumbled in frustration. “And there’s nothing you can say that will make me care about her any less.”

“Whatever you say, dear. Just remember that high school isn’t going to last forever.”

“High school might not last forever, but we sure as hell will.” She was certain of that.

How dare her mother insinuate that Emily was just a fling? She wasn’t some flavor of the week. She was _the one_. They hadn’t been together very long, but her intuition was strong. Her heart knew they had something special.

She huffed out of the room and ran up the stairs. Her costume was itching. Her face felt hot. She was _so_ irritated. She felt like hitting a wall. She raced into her room.

She slammed the door and threw her wig across the room. Then she collapsed on to her bed face first and screamed into her pillow.

After a few minutes she grabbed her phone. She didn’t have any messages from Emily, though she wasn’t expecting it since she was so out of it. But she wanted Emily to know she was thinking about her in case she woke up. She swiped her fingers across the keyboard.

**_Rest up and take it easy, Hell’s Angel. I’ll see you soon. -Your Uptown Girl_ **

Emily was pretty much the only good thing she had going in her life. She couldn’t fathom losing her. She knew tonight could have been much worse. She knew that things _could_ get much worse. But she had every intention of keeping Emily safe. And she knew that Emily had every intention of doing the same for her.

* * *

When Emily woke up the next morning the first thing she saw was her mother sleeping in the chair next to her bed. She was still in her costume, so it was obvious she hadn’t gone home.

Emily looked up at the machines. The baby’s heart was still steady. The doctors would probably be releasing her soon.

She quietly reached for her phone. She’d turned it off overnight to save the battery. She powered it up. It buzzed in her hand and then chimed as it turned on.

Emily glanced at her mom. She shifted in the chair, but she didn’t wake up. Emily wondered if she’d been up all night with her.

It was strangely reminiscent of infancy. Motherhood never ended. Even after the sleepless nights of babyhood and toddlerhood were over, sometimes mothers _still_ lost sleep over their children.

She put her phone on silent so she wouldn’t wake her. Then she started scrolling through her messages. The first one was from Alison.

**_Rest up and take it easy, Hell’s Angel. I’ll see you soon. -Your Uptown Girl_ **

Emily smiled at the screen. It had been sent late last night. It didn’t surprise her that the blonde was thinking of her. That same bitchy girl that had threatened the anonymous bully had a hidden heart of gold.

Emily swiped her screen to reply,

**_Will be ready to ride again soon._ **

She waited for a response, but when she didn’t get one she assumed Alison was asleep.

She had several other messages checking in on her. Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Mona had all asked her how she was doing. Emily wasn’t sure how to answer. Her head felt a little better, but it still hurt. The dizziness seemed to have resolved. But she had other things that were bothering her.

She rubbed her eyes, thinking about the horrible nightmare she’d had about Courtney. Everything about it felt so real. Her cold fingertips skimming the inside of her thighs and aggressively touching her in the one place she would never want to be touched by her. Her unforgiving lips mashed against her mouth, like she was trying to keep her from breathing. The scalpel being dragged across her stomach. The cramps felt like what she imagined contractions might feel like. The blood had smelled so potent that she’d felt like vomiting.

Even when she woke up things didn’t feel right. She had been disoriented, but she remembered the first thing she’d done was check on the baby. Even though she’d seen the steady heart rate she’d still checked for spotting and blood and didn’t find a trace. The one thing that struck her as odd was that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. She’d been so out of it that she didn’t remember when they’d changed her into a gown. She had a vague recollection of someone pushing against her stomach, which in turn had made her bladder feel like it was going to explode. But she didn’t remember if it actually did or not. She didn’t really _want_ to remember.

The whole night was such a blur. She was just looking forward to going home. She glanced at her phone. She had a lot of people worried about her.

She sent all her friends a simple ‘thumbs up’ emoji and then pulled up Isaac’s contact information. She felt ridiculous asking him, but she had to know for sure.

**_Um, so…weird question…your sister isn’t up here on the east coast is she? I thought I saw her hanging out at a party yesterday._ **

She tried to keep it vague. She didn’t want him to know the truth. And she _definitely_ didn’t want him to know she was in the hospital.

She didn’t expect him to answer, because it was 6 am in Texas. But he was already up, because he was getting ready to get on a bus with the rest of his football team after a night of partying over a win at their away game. He got back to her after a few minutes.

**_As far as I know she’s at home. Been at an away game. But if she convinced our parents to spring for a plane ticket to the middle of Amishville when they wouldn’t even buy me a new pair of Jordans I’m going to go to them with some demands._ **

He’d followed it up with a laughing emoji. It made Emily feel a little bit better. She knew she was being crazy.

**_You win your game?_ **

**_You know it. Gotta keep the offers of scholarships rolling in. Did you know that colleges give you free swag to try and woo you?_ **

**_Isaac, no one says ‘woo’._ **

**_I do. So woo hoo._ **

**_I won’t even dignify that with a response._ **

**_You just did._ **

They exchanged several laughter emojis and then Emily told him to have a safe trip home. She was finishing up the conversation just as her dad was walking in with two cups of coffee. He was still in his costume, too.

“You’re up,” he said with a smile. Emily shushed him and pointed to her mother. He nodded in understanding. “I see the Xanax kicked in. She took it around three. Never seen her so restless.”

“You two really stayed all night?” Emily whispered.

He walked over and kissed her forehead. He put the coffees down on the tray next to her bed.

“We told you we would, baby.”

“So did you just stand there and watch me breathe or…”

“No.” He waved with a laugh. “I walked the halls looking like a haunted roaring 20s ghost. Scared a few nurses.”

“You really shouldn’t tease people who could kill you and make it look like an accident.”

“I made it up to them by singing a few _Chicago_ numbers.”

The mention of it brought back memories of watching the movie with her parents when she was younger. Emily had been fascinated by the set design and the costumes. She assumed it was even more impressive on Broadway.

“If the creepy ghost routine didn’t scare them, I bet your rendition of ‘Mr. Cellophane’ did.”

“How dare you sully my singing. Have you no respect for your father?” He teased. “I’ll have you know that I sang ‘The Cell Block Tango’ and got a standing ovation.”

“Maybe they were impressed that a ghost knows risqué musical numbers.”

He chuckled.

“How’s the head this morning?”

“Still attached.” Emily reached up and touched the cut on her head. She winced.

“You were out cold.” Her dad sat down against the edge of her bed. He rubbed her arm. “You had us worried.”

“I know.” Emily thought about the feeling of dread she’d been swimming in during her nightmare. She smiled weakly at her father. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Emily’s phone chirped at her. She assumed it was going to be Isaac, so she didn’t reach for it. She glanced over and caught the name attached to the message. When she saw it was from Alison she grabbed the phone.

“I guess your old Ma and Pa are old news now that the newfangled technology has appeared.”

“It’s just…I have a lot of people checking in.”

“Mmmhm.” He wasn’t buying it. He saw the look on her face. He’d never seen her light up so brightly before. “Tell Alison I said hello.”

He stood up to stretch his legs. Emily read Alison’s message.

**_A ride sounds great, especially with MY ride or die._ **

Emily smiled at the phone as she replied,

**_Let’s skip the ‘die’ part. We already tried that last night. Wasn’t much fun._ **

**_How r u feeling this morning?_ **

**_Ready to go home._ **

She heard a light knock at the door. It was fate intervening. Pam stirred to life in the chair next to the bed. Wayne turned towards the doorway. A doctor waved at Emily and her parents with a smile that said _“good news...”_

A few hours later she was resting in her bed at home. Her father had been watchful. Her mother hovered…and baked cookies for some odd reason.

When Alison came over to see her Emily filled her in on everything she’d been dealing with. She told her about the threats. She told her about the fortune cookie. She told her the truth about the light at the gym. She didn’t want to tell her. She wanted to protect her from the truth, but she knew that Alison deserved to know the extent of the danger she could be in by association.

Alison had barely been able to contain her rage when she heard that someone had tried to hurt her more than once. She had wanted to grab a bunch of rocks and go hurl them at the twins. Emily talked her out of it, telling her she needed to cool down first.

Alison didn’t cool down. In fact, by Monday morning she was ready to rip into Cindy and Mindy at school. She still knew their routine from when they’d hung out. So she used that as an opportunity to corner them after their morning track practice. Most normal human teenagers refused to get up before dawn, but the twins had been operating on a schedule for years. They were some of the very few students in town who didn’t have to be pried out of their beds early in the morning.

Emily couldn’t talk Alison out of her anger, so she went along with her to make sure she didn’t do anything too drastic. Emily was pissed about what had happened, too, but she was more calculating in how she was going to respond. She knew that if Cindy and Mindy retaliated it could end in disaster.

Alison followed them into the locker room. She knew she could catch them off-guard. And she did.

She walked right up behind Mindy and slammed her locker closed. Mindy squawked out a cry and nearly hit the floor. Cindy gasped and gripped the edge of her locker, which Alison promptly smacked closed. Cindy ripped her hand away just before it caught the edges of her fingers. She shrieked.

“Are you insane? You could have sliced my fingers off!” Cindy cried.

“I _told_ you I’d deal with you later.” Alison glared at them. “It’s later.”

“Actually, technically it’s early. So _earlier_.” Mindy smarted back.

Cindy knew better than to say anything. She reached up and rubbed the cut that Alison had left on her cheek. Alison didn’t miss the subtle motion. Neither did Mindy. She looked pissed that her sister’s face wasn’t perfect anymore.

“You want to match her?” Alison taunted Mindy. “You two are identical, after all.”

“Ali…” Emily reached for her arm. The brunette was always the voice of reason. It always brought Alison back to reality. She was so calm. Alison knew she knew how to kick ass. But she was so controlled in how and when she used her abilities. “They would love a reason to come after you. Don’t give them one.”

It took the twins a second to register Emily’s presence. They’d been too focused on the angry blonde to notice her.

Cindy blinked and then her eyes slowly tracked over to the gash on the side of Emily’s head.

Alison saw her looking and she felt like strangling her. They weren’t even apologizing to her. It was infuriating.

“Yes, _you_ did that, you cunt…”

“Hey…” Emily glanced at her. “Don’t call her that…”

“Thank you…” Cindy stated hesitantly.

“She lacks the depth and warmth to be called a cunt.” Emily added.

Alison’s jaw dropped in laughter. Cindy and Mindy both froze. They were like little animals in the wild that knew they were about to be eviscerated.

Emily stepped in front of Alison, putting herself between the three of them. She knew she could deescalate the situation. She knew she could keep Alison in check, and she knew that if the twins tried _anything_ she could take them…even with a pregnant belly and a healing head wound.

“Now that I have your attention…” Emily stared them down. “You two owe us an apology.”

“We already told Alison it was just an accident.” Mindy whined.

Her eyes flickered to the door nervously. She was legitimately scared of Emily. She’d seen what Emily had done to Wilden in the cafeteria. And if Alison and Emily found out they knew more than they were letting on she knew they were screwed.

“That doesn’t sound like an apology to me.” Emily crossed her arms in front of her chest. She channeled her mother’s penchant for making guilt bubble to the surface.

Mindy and Cindy both swallowed hard.

“We’re sorry. We’re really glad that you’re okay.” Cindy blurted out.

“Great.” Emily didn’t back down. “Now apologize to her.” She motioned towards Alison.

“Are you _serious_?” Mindy gawked. “She’s done _way_ worse!”

“I am _not_ apologizing to her.” Cindy turned her nose up at Alison.

“Yes you are. Because if you don’t then I’m going to turn her loose on you. Right now I’m the only thing keeping her from destroying you.”

Alison nodded to confirm it. Cindy and Mindy looked at one another in annoyance. Cindy rubbed her cheek and scowled at Alison.

“I’m sorry,” she bit through her teeth.

“What was that?” Emily put her palm up against her ear, cupping it. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said I’m sorry _Alison_.” She spit her name out hatefully.

“Me too.” Mindy added. She managed to sound more sincere than her sister.

“Good.” Emily nodded in satisfaction. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we need to talk about this painter you were talking to.”

Mindy’s eyes widened. Cindy cut her eyes away nervously.

“It was some anonymous person. We already explained that,” Cindy said.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t have _any_ information on this guy.”

“We don’t even know that it was him. He might have just been the middleman. _She_ …” Mindy glanced at Alison, “…has a lot of people in this town who hate her. Anyone could have hired him as a private contractor.”

Alison lunged towards them, but Emily threw her arm up and stopped her. They wouldn’t get any information out of them if Alison went feral on them.

“What did you get out of it?” Emily asked.

“What?” Cindy seemed confused by the change in questioning.

“What did this person offer you?”

“Are you kidding? We jumped at the chance to make Alison look like a wimp in front of everyone.” Mindy scoffed. “It’s just a shame it didn’t hit her instead. It would have been satisfying to see her head on a pike. Oh well...maybe next time...”

The words set something off inside of the brunette. Without saying a word Emily grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her up against the lockers. She put her forearm against Mindy’s throat, cutting off her airway. Cindy instinctively went to push Emily away from her sister, but Alison grabbed her and held her back. Emily gently let up on the pressure on Mindy’s throat. Mindy started hacking.

“ _Never_ threaten her again.” Emily clenched her jaw angrily. Mindy nodded wildly in agreement.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“And you tell your new little friend that if they come for us…there is going to be hell to pay.” She let go of Mindy and turned towards Alison. She motioned for her to let Cindy go. Cindy struggled against the blonde.

“Last chance to talk.” Alison tightened her grip on Cindy’s arm.

“We already told you we don’t know anything.” Cindy ripped her way out of Alison’s grasp.

“If I find out you’re lying to me you’re going to regret the day you were spawned.” Alison casually reached out and brushed her fingernails against the lockers. The sound was almost identical to nails on a chalkboard.

Minutes later the twins were running out of the locker room with their tails between their legs.

Emily and Alison stared at one another for a few seconds. Alison puffed out a breath and moved towards Emily.

“You are _so_ hot right now.” She backed her into the lockers.

“Oh, yeah?” Emily chuckled. “Even with the purple face?”

“Matches your hair.” Alison shrugged. She reached up and sympathetically traced her fingers across the huge forming bruise on her head that wrapped around her eye and down her cheek. “I can’t believe those bitches did this to you.”

“They did it to you, too.” Emily put her palm against Alison’s neck.

Alison felt the motion in her heart. She moved forward and pressed her lips against Emily’s. She caressed the uninjured side of her face as their mouths found a passionate rhythm. It always came so naturally to them.

Their lips separated with an audible pop. Alison’s cheeks were bursting with color. Emily’s eyes flickered down to Alison’s mouth, her thumb brushing against the edge of her heart-shaped lips.

When their eyes met Emily had a soft look on her face. Her smile made Alison feel like melting. Everything about the girl was perfection. She even managed to wear her bruises well.

Alison grimaced when she looked at the angry swollen marks on Emily’s face. They were battle scars. And she had them because she’d jumped in the line of fire for her. It dawned on Alison that she’d never told her how much she appreciated her.

“I never thanked you for what you did for me.” She put one hand on Emily’s hip. “You risked your life for me, Em.” She’d never had anyone in her life who had cared about her _that_ much.

“I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done for me.” Emily humbly replied.

“That doesn’t make what you did any less noble. And brave.” Alison felt all kinds of feelings for her valiant and sweet girl. And her humility only made Alison feel stronger.

“I just hate that you were put in harm’s way.” Sometimes when Emily closed her eyes she could still see the chainsaw aimed directly at Alison. Only in her visions she didn’t always get there in time. She couldn’t believe that two high school girls had pulled off something so elaborate. Even _with_ help. “You think they’re telling the truth about not knowing anything?” She questioned, glancing at the door.

“It doesn’t matter. They’re toast.” A smirk slowly washed across Alison’s face.

She’d been planning on the best way to break the twins down. She had a list of ideas, and she put them into action almost immediately.

Cindy and Mindy suffered Alison’s wrath starting that afternoon. She pulled a full on bloody Stephen King _Carrie_ move when she filled their bookbags full of pads and tampons that had been soaked in red food coloring and corn syrup. She’d also gone to their house that night and made creepy noises outside their windows.

She left menacing notes for them in their lockers and in their cars all week long. That Friday she lured them into the school bathroom after classes and shut the lights out. She’d locked them in without an escape for several hours.

It went on for weeks. Her torture was unending. To top everything off she sent an anonymous e-mail to their parents claiming to be an RA on a college campus and that she’d caught them doing drugs and having sex with boys in a fraternity.

In a matter of weeks she destroyed their lives. She let them know to never cross her again.

Unfortunately, Emily was still getting sporadic messages from her tormentor. Alison nearly lost her mind every time Emily’s phone went off. Her irritation was exacerbated by the fact that Emily wouldn’t let her fight with the person on the other end of the screen. Emily didn’t want it escalating.

Emily was less concerned, especially given that Cindy and Mindy had been scared into submission. Whoever was messing with her didn’t have those two cronies anymore. The twins were too afraid of retaliation.

But she knew that they needed reinforcements. She’d been working up the courage to talk to Caleb. She’d gone back and forth about whether or not she wanted to involve him. It wasn’t just that she was worried about him finding out about the pregnancy. She was also worried for his safety. She was worried for everyone’s safety. She knew that things were getting out of hand. And she had a healing gash on her head that was a reminder that the danger was _very_ real. Every time she looked in the mirror it wasn’t her scars she saw. It was the potential damage this person could do to everyone she cared about.

* * *

It took her three weeks to work up the courage to talk to Caleb. There weren’t many things that scared her in life, but having people look at her differently because of the pregnancy made her feel insecure. She knew she was going to face scrutiny. A teenage pregnancy was something everyone seemed to judge.

She knew if she told Caleb she had to tell Hanna, too. She _had_ to tell Caleb if she was going to ask for his help with the texts, and she knew that he wouldn’t be able to keep it from his very nosy girlfriend.

A day before Thanksgiving, Emily asked Caleb and Hanna if they had time for a little informal get together. Caleb suggested dinner at the café. He got permission to use it after he closed.

Emily had just finished up a sparring session with Jake at the gym, so she was famished. Alison felt conflicted about watching her throw punches. On one hand it was a beautiful thing to watch. She was nimble on her feet and the look of concentration on her face made Alison’s body feel tingly all over. But on the other hand, she was worried something bad might happen. She was worried that there would be an accidental blow or that she would overdo it.

Pregnancy hadn’t slowed her down in the least. And she still looked good as hell. She hid her bump very well.

“Solid work, Em.” Jake tossed the pads down. “We’re going to kick ass in the tournament.”

Alison had to contain her groan. She did _not_ want Emily in a boxing tournament. Sometimes she felt like slipping a note into Jake’s bag to tell him the truth so that maybe he would find someone else to be his partner. But she couldn’t do that to Emily.

“Hell yeah we are. Teamwork makes the dreamwork.” She dabbed his fists with her gloves. “Need help with anything before I take off?”

“No. Go. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.”

“You have a good holiday.” She pulled her gloves off.

She walked over towards where Alison was waiting. The blonde was trying to pretend like she hadn’t been watching Emily’s ass the entire time. But Emily had seen her in the mirror.

“Hey, you enjoy the view?” She winked.

“Don’t be so cocky.” Alison scoffed, glancing at her phone with a grin on her face.

Emily leaned down and kissed her cheek. It got her attention.

“I’ll be ready in fifteen. Just need to take a shower to cool down.”

“Ooh, can I join?” Alison lifted her brows.

“Please.” Emily rolled her eyes. “We both know you’re not going to mess up those soft curls.” She played with her bouncy hair. Alison was such a little priss. But Emily loved it.

Alison glared at her, but she had a smile on her face.

“Here. Hydrate.” She handed her a sports drink. Emily gladly took the drink and took several gulps. “So, you’ve been training pretty hard for this tournament…”

“Mmhmm.” Emily nodded. She wiped the sweat from her brow. Her skin was glowing with perspiration. It was so beautifully natural.

“Have you been feeling okay?”

“Ali, we’ve been over this.” Emily frowned in annoyance.

“No. I know. This isn’t about…” She looked at Emily’s stomach, but didn’t say anything, “I just think it’s probably not a good idea to be exerting yourself after a traumatic brain injury.”

“It was a concussion. And it was _three weeks_ ago.”

“You’re really feeling okay?”

“Better than okay.” Emily nodded.

“Okay.” She had so much more she wanted to say, but she didn’t, because she knew it wasn’t her business. Emily was her own person.

Emily grabbed her things. As she was walking out with Alison, Noel was walking in. He saw them, but avoided eye contact. He went to the far side of the gym. Seeing him prompted Alison to grab Emily’s hand and move towards her protectively…which she knew was silly considering Emily had just spent half an hour working strengthening her muscles. But it was the principle of the matter. Because…fuck Noel Kahn. She draped her hand possessively around Emily’s waist and gave him a childish look as they walked out together.

Emily went to get showered and changed and then they went to _The Brew_ to meet Hanna and Caleb.

Alison knew how nervous Emily was about telling them, yet she seemed relaxed as they chatted over their food.

Hanna did what Hanna always did when Emily drank her decaf coffee: she gave her hell for it. Little did she know that there was a reason Emily drank decaf.

When they were nearing the end of their meal Emily knew she needed to start talking.

“How are your hands?” She asked Caleb as she put her fork down.

Caleb held up his palms. The rope burns were completely healed.

“Still can’t believe your parents sent me a gift basket with a full kitchen set.” Caleb lowered his head with a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

“My mother takes her ‘thank you’ gift baskets very seriously.” Emily nodded with a smile.

Her mom had gone as far as to stylize it to Caleb’s life. She knew that he was trying to save up and move out of his foster home. She’d crafted together a large basket with essentials he might need on his own. She’d gone a little crazy with the kitchen items. She’d also packed some fancy cheeses and sausages into the basket. It made Emily wonder what they would do for her when she got an apartment. Then again, she wasn’t expecting anything. They were trying to help her in any way they could.

“We are so going to use that Bundt cake mix.” Hanna poked Caleb in the arm. She enjoyed his baking. He’d picked up a lot of neat tricks from working at _The Brew._ Caleb worked magic with the small kitchen.

“If this is what you do with a café kitchen I can’t wait to see what you do with a _real_ kitchen.” Emily pushed her empty plate forward. She had eaten every last bite of her dinner.

She reached into her pocket to grab some cash. Caleb saw her unfolding the money and he held his hand out and shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s on me.”

Emily knew he was trying to save up his cash, and she knew that the dinner would eat into his paycheck.

“Are you sure?” Emily asked.

“You kidding? After your superhero stunt at the dance you’ll probably be eating for free for the rest of your life in this town.”

“Would that perhaps extend to two people?” Emily questioned curiously, trying to start the conversation about the pregnancy.

“Probably. Your date only eats salads for the most part, so I can’t imagine that would be a problem.” Caleb laughed.

“I’ll have you know that I could destroy you in a burrito eating contest.” Alison sipped on her green tea smoothie.

“ _You_ eat burritos?” Hanna scoffed.

“You don’t know my life.” Alison smirked. “But I’m an independent woman. I can pay my own way, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, with mommy’s credit card.” Hanna uttered.

“Well, the civility lasted longer than I thought it would,” Emily said sarcastically.

“It’s fine. I don’t care.” Alison shrugged it off. It showed tremendous maturity and growth on her part. It stunned Caleb and Hanna.

“Um…did you replace her with her non-evil twin?” Hanna looked at Emily.

“She said what she said.” Emily backed her girlfriend up.

“Wow. So, you really are serious about this redemption BS.” Caleb seemed impressed.

“It’s not BS,” Alison said. She was starting to get impatient. She had been trying to be nice to them for _months_. “No one is perfect. _You_ went to juvie.”

“Yeah, for a total _Robin Hood_ scenario. He was doing good with the bad.” Hanna came to Caleb’s defense.

“I know that. I’m just saying…should our past define our future forever?” Alison asked. “I screwed up. Royally. I am admitting that. But I don’t want to be defined by my mistakes for the rest of my life. We all mess up, right? We all do things we wish we hadn’t done. That doesn’t mean we have to be tethered to that for the rest of our lives. I’m trying. I really am.”

“Fair enough.” Hanna traced her finger around the rim of her cup. “But I’m still going to give you shit.”

“Fine.” Alison stared at her.

“Good.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

The two blondes stared at one another. Caleb and Emily looked at each other, both of them trying not to laugh.

“Do we need to make you two hug it out?” Emily asked in amusement.

“Try it and see what happens.” Hanna goaded her.

“I would not recommend that. She bites.” Caleb poked Hanna playfully.

“Yeah, and this one scratches.” Emily teased. She glanced at Caleb with a smile on her face. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“We make a _Fight Club_ out of it and charge people a cover to see it?” Caleb guessed.

“You two are hilarious.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Oh, relax. I would bet on you.” Caleb squeezed her thigh as he leaned in for a kiss.

Hanna reached up and traced her fingers against his jaw.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty, Caleb Rivers.”

“You’re lucky you are, too. Betting on you would be iffy considering who your opponent is dating. I’ve seen Emily’s skills. She could turn a five-year-old into Muhammad Ali.” He cheekily turned his nose up at her.

“And you ruined the moment.” She shoved him with a laugh.

“I’m just screwing with you.” Caleb smiled. “I definitely wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of those angry fists of yours.”

“He’s right about that. They certainly had Noel Kahn running the other way.” Emily agreed.

“My footwork needs some work.” Hanna admitted. She looked at Emily. “Can you box in heels?”

“You can do anything in heels,” Alison said. “We could make a sport out of it.”

“Em, you could be our coach.” Hanna’s eyes lit up in delight.

“Slow it down, _Wrestlemania_. I don’t think either one of you needs any training on how to be badass.”

“Says the _ultimate_ badass.” Hanna scoffed.

“I’m really not as cool as you think I am.” Emily felt a fluttering sensation in her stomach. It was a reminder of why they’d asked Hanna and Caleb for dinner.

“Dude, you took a swan dive off of a stage directly into a giant chainsaw…while in a tux. Do you know how many movies will be made out of that?” Caleb asked.

“I can see it now. _Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Musical_.” Hanna dramatically moved her hands like it was a marquee revealing the title of the movie.

“I don’t remember hearing a jaunty upbeat tune playing when I got smacked in the face.”

“You wouldn’t. You were unconscious.” Hanna pointed out. “Speaking of, how have you been feeling since then? Have your headaches tapered off?”

“Um…” She still had headaches, but they were hormone related. “Kind of. Actually, I was going to talk to you guys about that tonight. I have a favor to ask you.”

“You ready to seek revenge on the twins? Because I’m _so_ in.” Hanna didn’t even have to be asked.

She hated the twins, but she hated them even more after their stunt at the Halloween dance. Alison and Emily had told them an abbreviated version of the truth. Their friends thought it was a prank gone awry. They didn’t know someone was out to get them.

Alison and Emily looked at one another. Caleb and Hanna didn’t miss the exchange.

“What are we missing here?” Caleb asked in confusion.

“It…wasn’t entirely an accident,” Emily said. “And they didn’t put it together on their own.”

“Wait…they _meant_ for that to happen?” Caleb questioned.

“I don’t know if _they_ did. But _someone_ did.”

“Who?” Caleb asked.

“We don’t know. That’s actually what this is about.”

“Someone was yanking their puppet strings?” Hanna asked. “Were they trying to get back at _you_ or something?” She looked at Alison.

“That’s what I thought.” Alison shifted in the booth uncomfortably. She still blamed herself to an extent. She felt Emily’s hand on her knee and she settled down. “I mean, who in this town doesn’t want to take a shot at me, right?”

“Yeah, but trying to actually _kill_ you? That’s a little macabre.” Caleb frowned.

“They weren’t trying to kill me. They were trying to scare us.”

“Did you guys report this?” Hanna asked. “Those twiggy matching twats should be sitting in a cell right now.”

“Hold on.” Caleb held his hand up in confusion. “They were after you _both_? They were messing with you, too, Emily? Why? You haven’t done anything to them.”

“Yeah. Who would want to screw with you? That would be like screwing with Mother Teresa…or Keanu Reeves. You’re like…the nicest person in this town.”

“Unless you’re Wilden or Noel,” Caleb said. “They could easily be pissed at you. Or maybe someone on the team who is mad about Wilden getting fired.”

“We don’t think it was Noel, but the twins definitely got the idea from somewhere,” Emily said.

“Are you sure about this?” Caleb questioned.

“Cindy and Mindy can barely put their shoes on the right feet without screwing up. There is no way they could have pulled this idea off alone. Plus, there’s a lot we haven’t told you guys…” Alison looked at Emily. She didn’t want to overstep.

“Of course we’ll help. Whatever it is. Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” Hanna asked. “We could have been charging into battle on the front lines with you.”

“This is a battle that requires a certain skill set.” Emily faced Caleb. “Meaning you, pretty boy.”

“Um…” He seemed confused, “…you know I went to juvie for insider trading and hacking of a government official and _not_ because I’m some kick-ass vigilante, right? What does this have to do with me?”

“I’ve been getting texts from what I can only assume to be a burner phone since I moved to town. It’s someone who is invading my privacy and threatening to expose some…personal things.” Emily glanced down at her stomach. Caleb and Hanna didn’t catch the glance, but Alison did. “I tried looking into it on my own, but I haven’t been able to get anywhere. I know you’ve gotten in trouble for hacking before and I really hate to pull you into this, but…”

“I’m in.” Caleb didn’t hesitate. “If someone is harassing you we have to put a stop to it.”

“I still can’t get over the fact that someone is out for you and not Alison.” Hanna looked at the blonde. “No offense.” Though her look screamed _“ALL THE OFFENSE”_. Hanna faced Emily. “I can’t imagine what dastardly secrets you have. You’re pretty perfect. If I was gay I’d dump Caleb in a heartbeat for you.”

“Thanks, honey.” Caleb rolled his eyes.

“You’d be surprised at what I’m capable of keeping hidden.” Emily leaned back in the booth. She put her arm around Alison. The blonde reached up and put her fingers against Emily’s hand and smiled sweetly at her.

“You got your phone on you? I can take a look.” Caleb offered.

“Yeah, but before I drag you into this, I want you to promise me you won’t tell anyone what the texts say. You’re going to see things in these messages. It’s something that I…” She looked at Alison, “…that _we_ have been keeping on the downlow.”

“ _We_ , huh?” Hanna eyed them suspiciously. Her eyes lit up. “Oh my God. Did you two run off and get married? You get her pregnant, Alison?” She was teasing, but it was amusing to both Alison and Emily that she’d hit the nail on the head.

“Actually…” Emily looked at Alison and then at Hanna and Caleb. “Funny you say that. I actually _am_ pregnant…”

Caleb and Hanna laughed, but when they realized she wasn’t joking the smiles faded from their faces. Caleb’s brow furrowed in thought. Hanna didn’t look like she was comprehending it at all.

“Um…” Hanna cocked her head in confusion. She looked at Alison and then at Emily and then at Alison again. “Okay, I know I’m not a doctor, but that’s not physically possible, right? Unless…” She sized Alison up. “Do you have a secret you want to share, too?”

“I don’t have a dick.” Alison rolled her eyes.

“Huh, I just assumed since you acted like one maybe you had one.”

Alison wanted to clapback at her, but it was a fair shot. She’d done a lot of shit to Hanna over the years. It was only fair that Hanna got to throw barbs at her.

“You’re pregnant?” Caleb reached up and scratched his eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

“And the person who has been threatening you knows?” Something in his eyes flickered. A dark rage that she hadn’t seen in him before.

“Yeah.”

“What kind of psycho tries to hurt a pregnant person?” He was torn between pissed off and horrified. He looked like he was about to punch the table.

Alison understood his heightened anger. She liked him a little bit more now that she was seeing his protective side. It made her feel good to know that someone else was watching Emily’s back.

“That’s what I’m hoping you can help us find out.” Emily reached for her phone. “No one else knows. I was kind of hoping to keep it underwraps a little bit longer. I uh…I wasn’t exactly ready to tell people. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.”

“We won’t tell anyone.” Hanna reached across the table and took Emily’s hand. “I promise.”

Emily smiled at her appreciatively. Hanna was abrasive and usually lacked tact, but she was also one of the kindest and most loyal people she knew in Rosewood.

“Do you mind…can I ask…who is the father?” Hanna questioned.

“He’s back in Texas. It’s a long story.”

Emily opened up, telling them an abbreviated version of what she’d told Alison. What she’d talked to Alison about felt more intimate. She didn’t share the same details, but she told them the basic facts about how she was trying to live a life that wasn’t true to who she was before she came out.

Hanna and Caleb listened intently. They had no idea how much Emily had struggled. She appeared to have it so together on the outside. They had no idea what a mess her mind was most days.

When she finished telling them her story they took a moment to absorb it all. Hanna was the first to speak.

“Just so you know…nothing has changed. You were Emily without a baby. And now you’re Emily with a baby. We love Emily. We would never judge you.” Hanna squeezed her hand.

“Thanks.” Emily smiled. “Noel seems to think it makes me a slut.”

“Noel knows?” Caleb asked.

“It’s why he came after me in the locker room. He thought I’d be an easy lay.”

“Jesus. What is wrong with people?” Caleb shook his head.

“You’re sure he isn’t in on this?” Hanna asked. “I mean…if he knows and no one else knows that makes him the obvious choice, right?”

“The texts started long before he found out.”

“How did he even find out?” Hanna frowned.

Alison looked down at her feet. She still felt so guilty. Before she could own up to it she heard Emily talking.

“I slipped up.” Emily took Alison’s hand and squeezed it. She didn’t want the blonde to feel bad in front of their friends. “But he swore he wouldn’t tell. I threatened him under penalty of torture.”

“You think he’ll keep his mouth shut?” Hanna asked.

“He has so far.” Emily rubbed her knuckles. She hadn’t had to throw any punches recently, but she was prepared to if she needed to. “He leaves me alone at school and doesn’t bother me at the gym.”

In fact, he’d been fairly antisocial the past few weeks. Emily wouldn’t have noticed except for the fact that he was acting differently at the gym.

“Can we beat him up anyway?” Hanna frowned. “He’s such a tool.”

“I won’t stop you.” Emily chuckled in amusement. She’d pay to see Hanna go after Noel.

“Let’s not do anything crazy just yet. We don’t need to put another target on Emily’s back,” Caleb said. “If these messages are being sent by someone in town then we need to be careful about who we piss off. Why don’t we make a plan to get together this weekend? I’ll grab some of my equipment and we’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah, and as soon as we find out who it is we can nail their psychotic ass to the wall.” Hanna had a determined look on her face.

“You really have a way with words.” Emily chuckled.

“I’m so proud.” Caleb put his arm around Hanna. He leaned back in his seat.

“Do you have any idea where you want to start on this?” Hanna questioned.

“I’m not sure. I thought maybe we could start with a list of suspects and work from there,” Emily said.

“Get me a list of names and I can find a way to put trackers on them,” Caleb said.

“Wow. Seriously?” Alison gawked.

“I didn’t get pinched and thrown in juvie for child’s play.”

“I can ask Mona if she has a list of volunteers that helped at the dance.” Hanna suggested.

“I highly doubt this person just logged their name into a little black book for us to track them. But maybe someone saw him,” Emily said.

“Mona said there were a _ton_ of people involved. Apparently all the lazy trust-fund babies in this privileged little town just bribed their significant others and brought in people they paid to help.” Hanna picked up her drink and took a sip.

“That’s going to make narrowing it down a lot harder.” Emily made a face.

“Let’s just start simple. Who do you guys want to watch?” Caleb questioned.

“Noel, for sure.” Alison piped in. “Just because he didn’t help the twins at the dance doesn’t mean he isn’t involved. He was at the gym the day a light bulb exploded and almost hit Emily.”

“Are you serious?” Hanna grimaced. “That’s messed up.”

“We should watch Wilden, too.” Alison looked at Emily. “Just to be safe. He’s got buddies on the force. They stick together. He’s probably not being monitored at all. And he has a reason to want to hurt us both.”

“Cindy and Mindy, too,” Emily said. “That one should be pretty simple though. Their parents have them on lockdown.”

“Thanks to me.” Alison grinned proudly.

“What did you do?” Hanna asked.

“Got them in trouble.” Alison shrugged. _A lot_ of trouble. “They’re pretty much grounded until they go to college. Maybe even after. But I still want to know everything they’re doing. I don’t trust them.”

“Alright, so we’ve got a pretty good list.” Caleb nodded.

“Is there any way to look into people out of state?” Emily asked.

She knew it wasn’t logical to believe that Courtney was involved, especially considering that Courtney’s parents were sticklers about not letting their kids travel unless it was for sports. Emily had looked into the swimming schedule at her old school and there hadn’t been any away meets that weekend. There was no way Courtney could get away with a trip to Pennsylvania on their watch.

“You think someone back in Texas is behind it?” Hanna caught on to what she was thinking.

Alison looked at Emily curiously. It was the first she was hearing about it. She had suggested it at the hospital, but Emily had brushed it off. What had changed her mind?

“Just…covering all our bases.” Emily glanced at Alison.

Something about her answer seemed off. It almost looked like she was _afraid_. And Emily didn’t get afraid. Ever.

“I could look into remote hacking. Maybe send a spam email and see if I could get in that way. People sign their lives away on the internet. It’s surprisingly easy to gain access.”

“I’m glad you’re on _our_ side.” Emily laughed.

“My little felon.” Hanna smiled, messing with Caleb’s hair.

They finished up their dinner and then discussed their plans over dessert. It felt like the most bizarre thing in the world to Emily...to talk about spying on people so casually as they ate fritters and pie. She was still worried about pulling Hanna and Caleb into it, but they didn’t seem to have any reservations.

Alison could see the wheels turning in Emily’s head. She reached for Emily’s hand underneath the table, quietly trying to ease her mind. Emily looked back at her and smiled. She felt better having Alison by her side. They made a pretty good team. She knew that no matter what, Alison would back her up.

* * *

After they helped Caleb and Hanna clean up Emily took Alison on a ride out on underneath the stars. Once they got far enough away from the city the stars started to brighten up in the darkness in a way that you couldn’t see in the light pollution of the town.

Emily pulled over and parked at a park, which was completely vacant. People were off with their families preparing for the holidays. Plus, they weren’t supposed to be in the park after dark, but there were no cops around. They were all too busy trying to catch drunks on the road.

Emily helped Alison off of the bike and they walked the paved trail towards the playground. Emily grabbed Alison’s hand without saying anything. Alison smiled as their joined hands swung between them.

“So...how are things in Uptown World? Your parents...” Emily trailed off. Alison didn’t like to talk about her family, but Emily pushed her to because she knew what it was like to feel like a stranger in her own house.

“The same.” Alison squeezed Emily’s hand. The brunette could feel all of her tension in the motion.

“You know if you ever need anything...”

“I know.” Alison lifted her eyes and smiled at her girlfriend. “What about you? How is it at Fort Fields these days?”

“Things are back to normal. My dad is back to playing mediator with me and my mom. She’s been nagging me about everything lately.”

“We should run away together. Go some place where no one knows us.” She sidled up to Emily. “We could start over.”

“Where would we go?” Emily asked. Just as Alison was opening up her mouth to reply Emily nudged her with a smile, “ _Besides_ Paris?”

Alison chuckled. Emily knew her well.

“I think New York would be fun. And it would be perfect for you, my little insomniac. It’s the city that never sleeps.” She spoke with exuberance and excitement.

“I do have a friend that lives there. Maybe he could hook us up with some fake IDs.”

Nick most certainly knew the right kind of people. He was the reason she had purple hair and a tattoo.

“Maybe I could land an acting gig.” Alison’s eyes brightened.

“That would defeat the purpose of running away. Anyone could find us.” Emily laughed.

“We could change our names. And I’d dye my hair...”

“Don’t you even think about it.” Emily reached up and pushed a wisp of her bright blonde locks out of her face.

“That’s hilarious coming from you, Indigo Girl.” Alison bumped into her shoulder. “You could experiment with another color. I’d go black. We could become completely different people. I even have an alias picked out for myself.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mmm.” Alison nodded. “Vivian Darkbloom. And you could be my _Lolita_.”

“Ah, so your plan is to kidnap me?”

“Precisely.” Alison smiled.

The trees rustled around them. Alison let out a puff of heated breath into the air. It left a smoky trail of mist as it dissipated.

“You cold?” Emily noticed her shivering. She peeled her jacket off and placed it over Alison’s shoulders.

“Thanks.” Alison wrapped herself up in it. She looked at Emily’s bare arms and frowned. “But what about you? Don’t you need it?”

“I’ve got nature’s space heater in here.” Emily patted her stomach. “Trust me, the hot flashes are insane.”

“I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’ll be fine. She’ll keep me warm.”

In the glow of the moonlight Alison thought she saw a smile on Emily’s face. A gust of wind washed over them. Alison felt a chill. She looked at Emily, who was completely unbothered. How was she so warm?

They sat down on the swings. Emily kicked the dirt underneath the swingset with her boot.

“How are you doing?” Alison asked.

“Still pregnant.” Emily wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Not that.” Alison laughed. “I meant how are you feeling after telling Hanna and Caleb?”

“I’m good. I figured they would be cool with it. It was just a matter of me being ready to tell people.”

“Thank you for not telling them I’m the one who blabbed to Noel. They already hate me. I don’t want them to kill me.” Alison slowly started to swing.

She hadn’t been on a swingset since she was five. She’d always felt like it was above her. But something about sitting there with Emily made her feel adventurous.

“I’ll always protect you, Ali.” Emily glanced at her. “Even if it’s from yourself.” She started swinging next to her. “I know how much you beat yourself up for telling Noel. But it was just an accident. I know that.”

“You should be mad at me. You should hate me.” Alison pressed her shoes into the ground to slow her swing to a crawl.

“I could never hate you.” Emily stopped swinging and faced Alison. “I’m crazy about you.”

She grabbed the chain of Alison’s swing to pull her closer. Alison turned towards her, already ready to meet her lips.

They kissed. Alison pulled away smiling.

“I’m crazy about you, too.” She glanced at the ground shyly. Emily made her feel intense things that she’d never felt before.

They still hadn’t had sex, though they had gotten close on a few occasions. Alison could tell Emily didn’t want to rush it, and as amped up as her libido was…Alison wanted it to be at the right time. They’d had plenty of romps in the treehouse and on Alison’s couch and in her bed and in closets at school. They’d made out in almost every room in the gym. And Emily’s fingers… _God, her fingers_ …Alison couldn’t get enough of them touching her…of them caressing her, and rubbing her. Emily was an expert at slipping her fingers into her panties and getting her all worked up.

Emily was just as easy to please. The hormones made everything they did more intense for her. Alison loved feeling every inch of her body. Her skin was so soft and she smelled _so_ good.

They had done quite a bit in terms of loving and touching, but they’d stopped short of actually going all the way.

The wait was building an incredible amount of anticipation. The prospect of them finally sharing that intimate moment was something that thrilled Alison, but it also intimidated her. She’d never been so deeply passionate about someone that she was planning to sleep with. There was something more there. Something she’d never felt before. Even when they kissed she felt a roaring fire in her belly.

She wanted to make sure everything was perfect. She’d never cared about anyone else’s feelings, but she cared about Emily’s. So the idea of getting to have her completely, in _every_ way, was scary as hell. She was worried she might do something that could hurt the baby. She’d actually read up on pregnancy sex just to make sure she would do everything right.

“What are you thinking about?” Emily’s fingers against her cheek drew Alison out of her thoughts.

“You.” Alison shrugged. “I’m always thinking about you.”

Emily smiled at her. She took her hand and stood up, pulling Alison to stand with her.

“Come with me. I want to show you something.”

Alison trailed behind her, letting her lead the way. She started to get nervous when they ventured into the darker side of the park. It felt like they were walking into a kidnapper’s dream location. But Emily wasn’t afraid. And Alison felt safe with Emily. But she still voiced her concerns.

“This is how horror movies start out.”

“How many horror movies have you seen about a pregnant teenager and her girlfriend?” Emily tugged on her hand, trying to get her to keep up.

“Okay. Fair point. But just so you know…if you get us killed I will be a little less crazy about you.”

Emily took them down a winding road, which she seemed to know fairly well. Alison’s eyes started to adjust to the dark. She could see the glow of the moonlight on the river down in a small gorge that ran parallel to the sidewalk. Emily started to go down a hill that led to a ravine. Alison stopped when she reached the edge.

“I don’t know about this. It’s really dark. What if we slip?”

“Don’t be such a sissy.” Emily reached for her hand. Alison looked down and saw her eyes in the darkness. “Do you trust me?”

Alison bit her lip.

“More than anyone in my life.”

“Then let’s do this, Uptown Girl.”

Alison felt a rush of adrenaline as she descended into the unknown. She let Emily guide her, hoping that they wouldn’t fall to their deaths. Emily seemed to take every step meticulously, like she had the path memorized. They walked over the rocky terrain that led down to the bank of the small creek and out to a gorge overlooking the sky.

The further they walked, the more Alison could see by the light of the stars. She’d never known they were so amazingly bright out here.

Emily slowed her pace when they reached a boulder right next to the creek bed. The illumination from the moon made the water around it look like sparkling diamonds.

“When the moon and stars hit it just right it looks like the entire galaxy is coming to life. It’s like seeing shooting stars up close.” Emily looked up at the sky and slowly moved her gaze down to its reflection in the water. “I used to come out here when I was younger. My Girl Scout Troop and I used to camp out here.”

“ _You_ were in Girl Scouts?”

“Only for a really short period of time. We were so badly behaved that our troop leaders quit.”

She sat down on the large boulder. It was as large as a King-sized bed. Alison sat down next to her. The boulder felt like a chunk of ice against her ass.

“This thing is freezing. The iceberg that sank the _Titanic_ wasn’t even this cold.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Ali.” Emily laughed. She slipped her arm around Alison’s back. “Use that hot ass to thaw it.” She pulled the blonde into her lap. Alison felt the heat of Emily’s thighs through her pants. Emily wrapped her arms around Alison’s body and moved forward to press her cheek against Alison’s. “Better?”

“Much.” Alison hummed happily.

She loved being in Emily’s arms. She could feel the difference in her body. Not just the subtle changes in her stomach and her chest, but the new kind of warmth she was radiating. Her energy was infectious. Alison laid her arms on top of Emily’s and her hands came to rest on top of Emily’s fingers, which were locked together on the front of her waist. She had a tight protective grip, like as long as she was holding her…nothing could harm her.

Alison looked up at the stars. Seeing them in the dark pits of nature made them seem so much brighter. It was a different view than the one she had in her treehouse. It was more intense. Then again, everything with Emily was more intense.

They sat in silence watching the flickering lights in the sky. A shooting star blazed a trail across the sky. The reflection of it in the slow moving water rippled against the ground. It made it seem like the water was creating a trail for it.

Alison closed her eyes and made a wish. It didn’t matter how old she got, she always wished on shooting stars.

“This is really incredible,” Alison said. “Definitely an upgrade from the treehouse. I’m so glad you made me do this.”

“Stars are your thing.” Emily smiled.

“ _You’re_ my thing.” Alison leaned her head back against Emily’s shoulder.

When she pushed her body weight back against Emily she could feel her baby bump. It was barely there, but she could feel it. It was weird for Alison to think about the fact that in a few months Emily wouldn’t be able to hold her like this anymore.

Alison was just glad that Emily was alive to hold her. She still got angry when she thought about the fact that Cindy and Mindy had put her in the hospital. It made her worry about how much worse it could have been. The biggest problem is that they still didn’t know who was calling the shots. She was hoping that Caleb could shed some light on that with his skills, but she was still worried.

“Em?” Alison’s voice came out a whisper.

“Hmm?”

“What if we can’t figure out who is threatening you?” She turned her face so she could see Emily. “I’m worried that someone is going to try and hurt you again.”

“What happened at the dance was a fluke. Everything is going to be fine.” She kissed the top of Alison’s head.

“Yeah, unless this psycho finds more minions. And it’s not just you they’re after.” Alison touched her fingers. “What if you and the baby are in real danger and we don’t know it?”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to us. _Any_ of us.” She lifted Alison’s hand and kissed the back of her knuckles.

It was such a simple motion, but it made Alison feel like she was on top of the world. Alison lifted her legs and turned in Emily’s lap. She hooked her legs over Emily’s thighs and wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck. Emily gripped her body to keep her upright and leaned in to kiss her. The heat from their breath created a misty cloud of smoke in the cool air.

Alison could feel the heat radiating off of Emily’s thighs as she gently moved her pelvis against her. She felt Emily’s warm palms against her side. _Her_ beauty. _Her_ Emily.

The wind whistled around them for a few seconds. But Alison wasn’t cold anymore. Emily’s body heat was enough to keep her from feeling the chill. And Emily’s heart made her feel warm in every other way possible.

For the moment, her worries were just a distant shooting star in the sky. For the moment, all she could see was the beauty in the world.


	13. Sense and Sensitivity

* * *

**Chapter 13:**

**Sense and Sensitivity**

Emily trudged through Thanksgiving dinner with her parents. They had been united as a family for a few days after Emily was in the hospital, but things had slowly returned to normal.

She had been bickering with her mother a lot over the week leading up to Thanksgiving. Some of it was about safety concerns. Her mom wanted her to ease up on the boxing and to give up riding her bike. She was worried about Emily landing in the hospital again.

They also argued about school and her future. Emily didn’t understand why her mother was riding her so hard about everything. She was doing her best. But it never felt like enough for her mom.

They were all civil with one another during dinner, but the tension in the air was palpable. It wasn’t that Emily’s mother didn’t love her. It was that she didn’t know how to treat her anymore.

The hardest part was that Emily felt her hesitation. She felt the distance. She knew her mother wasn’t trying to be malicious. She knew there were other gay people who had it much worse. Her parents hadn’t thrown her out or sent her away. They hadn’t shunned her or sent her to a conversion camp. She knew that she was lucky her parents were _trying_ to accept her. She knew they loved her. But it didn’t make her pain magically disappear.

She mostly nodded along to what her mother was saying throughout dinner. She was just trying to power through it so she could go to Alison’s house. Alison’s parents were leaving for New York for a week and her brother was at a party with his frat brothers.

“The smoked turkey was really good, dad.” Emily tried to make conversation.

Her dad had been looking forward to using his brand new smoker for months. The least Emily could do was stroke his ego. It’s not something he asked for a lot. It’s actually not something he ever asked for. He did a lot without being thanked. She didn’t really believe in the concept of Thanksgiving, because she thought that being thankful was something that was an every day thing. But she wasn’t going to complain about it, because she enjoyed every holiday she had with her dad. He’d missed a lot of birthdays and Christmases and Thanksgivings through the years. She never wanted to take time with her dad for granted.

“I’m happy with the way the flavor turned out.” Her dad was beaming from ear to ear. It made her happy.

“I hope you both saved room for pie.” Pam smiled as she slowly climbed to her feet. She walked towards the kitchen.

Emily’s father leaned over to her and lowered his voice to a whisper,

“Even if you didn’t, just smile and eat it anyway. It would be blasphemous to turn it down.”

Emily laughed. Her mother walked back into the dining area holding a pie dish with her homemade chocolate pecan pie. She cut them each a slice, then cut one for herself.

“This has been really nice.” Pam scooped up a tiny portion of her pie on to her spoon.

“It has.” Wayne agreed. “We don’t get to sit down together as a family enough, with our work schedules and all. We should make weekly dinner a regular thing. I, for one, would love to know what I’m missing in my girls’ lives.” He reached over and put his hand on top of Pam’s hand. “How has work been going?”

“It’s been fine.” Pam nodded. “Emily, how is school? Have you gotten your SATs back yet?”

The last thing Emily wanted to talk about on her school break was school. But she humored her mother.

“School is fine. My SAT scores were good.” She ate a bite of her pie. Her SAT scores were _more_ than good. She’d gotten a 1350. But she didn’t want to tell her mother that, because she didn’t want to hear her lamenting about the fact that she could have gotten everything she wanted and more if she went to college.

“Are you still keeping up in your classes? I know you have a lot going on with work and your new… _friends_.” Pam knew that Emily and Alison were dating, but she refused to acknowledge it. It annoyed Emily. It was her little micro-aggressions that made her mother hard to live with.

“Alison is top of our class.” Alison had actually done better on her SATs than Emily had. “She’s looking at Performing Arts colleges…”

“Drama sounds fitting for her,” Pam muttered under her breath.

Wayne shot her a look that said, _“Not on Thanksgiving.”_

“I helped her put her audition and portfolio together. I think she has a shot of getting into NYU. Maybe Syracuse.” Emily tried to out-passive-aggressive her mother. “She’s doing very well in school. And I haven’t punched any more teachers. So we’re doing great.” Emily forced a smile on to her face.

“Any ideas for after you get your diploma?”

Pam was completely oblivious to how much her words were hurting her daughter. She had no idea how unwanted she was making Emily feel.

“I’m working on it.” She started grinding her teeth together.

Her mom didn’t notice her tension, but her dad did. He cleared his throat and tried to change the subject.

“How did your dinner with Caleb and Hanna go?”

“It went well.” Emily glanced at her dad with a smile, thankful for the reprieve. “Caleb is a hell of a cook.”

“Did he like his gift basket?” Her mother asked eagerly.

“He did. He wanted me to tell you that he said thank you. He asked for our address so he could send a proper thank you card.”

“He seems like a good kid. I know he’s got a bit of a checkered past, but I bet he would do great in the military.” Her dad twirled his spoon around his plate.

Emily almost spit her food out laughing. She couldn’t imagine Caleb conforming to _anything_ , especially not a militant way of life. And there was no way he would cut his hair. She couldn’t imagine Hanna letting him go willingly either. She’d probably handcuff herself to his bunk and refuse to leave.

“He’s more of a tech guy.” Emily tried to politely let her dad down.

Lately he’d been buried in his technology. He was doing everything he could to track the messages, but he wasn’t having any luck. The person on Emily’s tail was covering their tracks. And so far, none of the people under surveillance had slipped up.

“We have lots of tech guys in the army. We’d be lost without our comms squad. Besides, I’ve seen the army whip a lot of guys into shape. Your old man was one of ‘em.” He winked.

Her dad had been a troublemaker, too, though not to the extent of Caleb. Her dad had gotten in trouble with the law when he was seventeen after he’d run away from home, but that was about it.

“Excuse me, I believe _I_ had a hand in taming you.” Pam playfully flicked some whipped cream at her husband.

“I just let you think you did. But this wild dog has still got some bite left in him.” Wayne lifted his brows playfully.

“Settle down before you end up in the doghouse.” Pam lowered her head and peered at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“What are you going to do? Banish me to the couch on the one day a year we’re supposed to be thankful for each other?”

“I’m thankful for you every other day. So I have no problem making you sleep on the couch if you act like a fool.” Her mom’s tone was surprisingly playful.

“You see, Emily, the best relationships are the ones where both parties agree that they are completely absurd.” Her dad pointed out.

“I agree. You’re both completely absurd.” Emily smiled.

“Oh, you hear that, Pam?” Her dad swiped some whipped cream on to his finger and reached across the table and wiped it against the tip of Emily’s nose. “Our daughter agrees with me.”

Emily chuckled and wiped the whipped cream away.

“I’m just saying…opposites attract. I mean, when I met Ali in town I never dreamed that she’d hop on the back of my bike and ride into the sunset with me.”

Her parents clammed up. They never knew what to say when Emily talked about her girlfriend. It was still foreign to them. Her dad tried to support her. He didn’t always say the right thing, but he tried. Her mother always looked like she had a bad taste in her mouth. She’d gotten a lot better over the fall, but she still went rigid when Emily mentioned it.

Emily didn’t care anymore. It still hurt her, but she wasn’t afraid to talk about her girlfriend. She was proud of their love.

“She used to be so timid about riding, but last night when we were riding underneath the stars after dinner she was really into it.”

Pam’s eyes darted away nervously. She looked like she desperately wanted to say something, but that she also wanted to support her daughter’s love for the girl across the street. Wayne sensed the uneasiness.

“The bike still running okay?” he asked, trying to once again shift the topic.

“Yeah. Needs a little tune up, but I’ve got it handled.” She smiled appreciatively.

“That bike.” Her mom rolled her eyes. “Are you _trying_ to give us grey hairs? Do you _want_ to end up in the hospital again?”

“Because a giant chainsaw clocking me in the head is the same as me riding my bike?” Emily asked in confusion.

Pam huffed in frustration. She was irritated that they couldn’t seem to find common ground. She didn’t know how to talk to her daughter anymore. And Emily had no idea what to say to her either.

Emily saw her mother look at her with a quiet undertone of remorse. She was trying very hard to relate to her child. She wanted to be there for her. She wanted Emily to be able to talk to her.

“Why don’t you tell me more about this dinner? What did you all talk about?” Pam smiled, trying to thaw the ice.

“Drugs, sex, and rock and roll.” Emily deadpanned.

“I know you’re being facetious, but aside from music, absolutely none of those things are allowed under this roof.” She was only half-joking, but the punchline was lost on Emily. She was tired of her mother’s antics.

“Why? You afraid I’ll get pregnant?”

“Emily.” Her mother scowled at her. “You shouldn’t joke. You have a lot to think about. You really need to consider what you want for your future.”

Somehow, they always ended up at the topic of her future.

“I’ve made headway in that direction. I should have my own place early next year. Sabrina’s friend came through.”

“You know you’re welcome to stay here until you graduate.” Her mother put her spoon down and reached for her napkin to dab away a piece of whipped cream from the edge of her lip.

“Why wait?” Emily shoved a bite of her dessert into her mouth before she could say something she’d regret.

Her father steered the conversation to the football game. Emily managed to choke down the rest of her pie, but it tasted bitter. When they were finished Emily cut a few small slices and put them on a plate along with a few berries and a brownie.

“I’m going to take a slice to Alison.” Emily explained as she covered the plate with tin foil. “Her family isn’t big on the holidays.”

“You should have said something. We could have had her over.” Her dad offered.

Emily knew that would have been a disaster, but she thanked him. She offered to help them clean up, but her dad told her he’d take care of it. He told her to go spend some time with her girlfriend. He was trying to make up for not speaking up more at dinner.

Emily went to change into her sweats. She grabbed her phone to text Alison that she was on her way.

She had a menacing message waiting for her.

**_Enjoy the holidays while you can, slut. Gravy isn’t the only thing that can smother things._ **

She was already on edge because of how things had gone at dinner. Seeing the message made her feel like throwing her phone through a wall. She took a deep breath and tried not to get angry.

The walk to Alison’s house made her feel a little better. She always felt better when she was near the blonde.

When she stepped up on to the porch she heard the muted sounds of the piano. She reached for the doorknob, checking to see if it was unlocked. She usually knocked, but she felt the urge to slowly peek inside. So she cracked the door and walked in quietly.

The sound of the piano carried wistfully throughout the house. The crescendos sharply echoed off of the atrium walls. The vibrations felt like a peaceful form of poetry, slowly relaxing her mind. She peeked around the corner, not wanting to disturb the flow of the music.

She caught a glimpse of Alison. She was sitting at the piano bench wearing a flashy red silk pajama top and matching bottoms. She was deep in thought as her nimble fingers pranced across the keys. They moved in a fluid motion, each movement calculated and in sync. Her hands gracefully bounced as she changed octaves.

Her brows were furrowed in concentration, her fingers hitting the keys with purpose and dedication. She was leaning forward, her head towards the keys, as if she was watching a story unfold in the art of song.

Her hair was flowing freely over her shoulders. Her feet seemed to follow the rhythm of the soft melody. Her eyes were piercing and fixed. She was absolutely gorgeous.

Emily started to take a step forward. She accidentally knocked the plate she was carrying against the wall.

Alison heard the noise and the music suddenly stopped. She looked alarmed at first, but then she saw Emily and relaxed.

“Hey you.” Alison stood up.

“Hey. That sounded pretty. What was that?” Emily asked.

Alison sauntered towards her.

“Just an audition I’m working on.”

“Is it an original composure?” She loved a good Alison DiLaurentis classic.

“Yeah.”

“Aw, did you write another song for me?” Emily was joking, but then she saw the flush of red appearing on Alison’s cheeks and she realized the answer was ‘yes’. “Ali…seriously?”

“You’re my muse.” Alison reached up and touched her arm.

Somehow she managed to look seductive and shy at the same time.

“What’s it called?” Emily questioned.

“ _Autumn’s Beauty_.” She peered at Emily. For the first time since she’d seen her walk in she realized she wasn’t empty-handed. “What’s that?”

“Oh.” Emily held the plate up. “Leftovers.”

Alison curiously took the plate. She peeled the aluminum foil back to reveal the pie. She looked at Emily and smiled at her. Emily smiled back, but there was something reserved in her expression. She looked upset.

“Oh, sweetie…was dinner with your parents _that_ bad?” Alison sympathetically grazed her hand.

“No. It was fine.” She shook her head. “I mean, my mom was passive-aggressive and my dad had to run interference. But that’s normal.”

“Did your mom make this pie?” Alison looked at the plate in her hands.

“Yeah.”

“Then when I eat it I’ll refuse to enjoy it.” Alison declared.

“You won’t be able to help yourself. It’s the power of her sorcery.” Emily laughed.

Alison put the plate down on the dining room table. Emily looked around. There was no evidence that there had been any dinner, or any gathering at all.

“Did you do anything with your family? Did Jason go see his friends?”

“Jason doesn’t have friends.” Alison scoffed. “He just has idiots who use him to get wasted and act like they’re on animal planet.” She glanced towards the stairs.

Emily saw the heavy sadness in her eyes. It bothered her. Emily hated Jason’s friends. She didn’t know them, but she knew they hung out with people like Wilden. And she knew that Wilden hurt her girl. So that made them all assholes by association. She knew that one day she’d square up with them the same way she’d squared up with Wilden. And she looked forward to teaching them all a lesson.

Alison touched the banister.

“The big ape is passed out in his room. One of his frat buddies dumped his drunk ass off in the driveway half an hour ago.” She hadn’t even seen the car come and go. She’d just heard him come crashing into the living room.

“So…he missed dinner.”

“I wish I had missed it, too.” Alison turned to try and hide her discomfort. “Mom got drunk. She’s probably asleep on the plane right now.” She pushed her lips out into a pout and sighed. “I’ll never understand holidays. I feel like it’s just an excuse for people to slack off and get drunk and judge their families and argue about politics.”

“Such is the way of our ancestors.” Emily smiled.

“You think our ancestors gave each other mani-pedis after dinner?”

“That’s…really random.” Emily cocked her head in confusion. Alison was constantly keeping her on her toes.

“I was just getting ready to go jungle red wild on my nails.” Alison lifted her fingers and wiggled them around. “But I think I’d have more fun doing you.”

“Mmm.” Emily moved forward and gripped Alison’s hips. “Is that so?” She leaned down closer to her. “You want to _do_ me?”

“Don’t tempt me you…temptress.” She was so turned on that her brain felt like it was going haywire. The way Emily made her body react was insane.

“Real smooth.” Emily teased her, moving her lips over Alison’s mouth.

The awkward dinner with her parents was fading to the furthest corner of her mind. All she could think about was how good Alison smelled.

Alison smiled sheepishly. Emily finally moved in to kiss her. When they pulled away Alison gently ran her fingers down Emily’s arm and weaved her fingers into Emily’s.

“Let me paint your nails.”

“Do I look like a manicure kind of girl?” Emily lifted her brow incredulously. “They wouldn’t survive more than two days on my bike and with me boxing.”

“ _Please_?”

“I don’t do frilly.”

“I could paint them black.”

“I also don’t do emo.”

“Okay, so let’s compromise. Just your toes? No one would ever have to know. It’s not like you go around wearing sandals. It could be our little secret.” Alison begged. Emily glared at her. “Come on. Give me something here.”

Emily grumbled under her breath. She rolled her eyes. Alison was giving her the puppy dog eyes and it was so hard to ignore her when she begged.

“Fine. Toes only.”

“Yay!” Alison exclaimed.

She tugged on Emily’s hand, pulling her up the stairs. She led Emily down the hallway and into her room. She walked inside and motioned for her to get on the bed. She walked over to her vanity and started picking through all the different color nail polishes she had lined up.

Emily kicked her sneakers off and then leaned over and pulled her socks off. She pulled her hoodie over her head and tossed it on the chair next to Alison’s bed, leaving her in a tank top. It was starting to ride up over her small pouch of a belly, but she wasn’t shy about it around Alison. She plopped on the bed.

Alison turned around and walked over to her. She took a moment to appreciate the beautiful brunette in her bed. The girl looked sexy, even in sweatpants. Alison looked down and saw the gap between her shirt and her pants. She couldn’t help but smile.

“How did _she_ enjoy her first holiday?” Her eyes lingered on her growing baby.

“She ate way too much.”

“Aw, she’s fitting in already.” Alison sat down and leaned over Emily’s stomach. She had such a strong urge to kiss it, but she felt weird about it, so she didn’t. “Hi, little baby. We’re gonna slut your mommy up.” She held out the dark red she had picked out and grinned at Emily. She saw Emily cringe. She lowered the nail polish. “I was just kidding…”

“It’s not you.” Emily gripped her phone.

She pulled up the message and showed Alison the screen so she could read the newest saga in the cyberstalker’s repertoire. Apparently she’d been upgraded from _bitch_ to _slut_.

Alison felt a mixture of horror and rage. Because it sounded like a threat. It sounded exactly like the message she’d received the night of the Halloween dance.

“This is…” Alison bit her lip nervously. She couldn’t imagine something worse happening to Emily than being knocked out by a giant chainsaw. Against her better judgement she thought about taking action. “I think we should go to the police.”

“And tell them what? Someone is bullying me on the playground?” Emily gently took her phone back. “They’ll laugh me out of the station. They won’t even bat an eye at this. This high school bullshit doesn’t register on their radar.”

“So, what do we do?”

“What we’ve been doing. We live.” She said it so simply, so easily, like there wasn’t a psychopath after her. “Let’s give Caleb some time.”

“Fine, but when he finds out who it is I want the first punch.”

“Okay, Iron Fist. Not so sure I want those deadly weapons of mass destruction near my toes now.” Emily teased her.

“No. These toes are _mine_.” Alison dived towards the end of the bed just as Emily curled her toes and pulled her feet up.

They both sat up and burst into a fit of laughter. Emily felt like she was a kid again. She thought about Alison’s birthday party when they’d played a game of “the floor is hot lava”. It was right after they’d kissed in the treehouse. They’d made leaps and bounds on to furniture and Alison had nearly slipped when she hit the edge of her bed, but Emily caught her and they’d both fallen safely on to her mattress. There had been a moment then…a brief few seconds when Emily had her arms around Alison when Alison felt like everything was right with the world.

Alison sat up and grabbed the bottle of nail polish. Emily straightened her legs and presented Alison with her feet.

“Paint me like one of your French girls.” Emily leaned back against the pillows. She had a sultry look on her face.

Alison was surprised by how much she loved Emily’s toes. She didn’t realize it was possible to love someone’s feet. It was a weird concept. Her feet were soft. Her toes were perfectly shaped. She could have been a foot model.

Alison started out by massaging her feet. She knew that Emily spent a lot of time on her feet, and she’d read that pregnancy put a lot of stress on the lower legs and ankles. So she gave her a deep tissue massage. She saw Emily’s body curl in delight when she pressed her thumbs into the arch of her foot. Emily relaxed against the bed.

She took her time sliding the brush across Emily’s toenails, watching as the vibrant color appeared next to her dark olive caramel skin. She’d never seen someone with such beautiful skin. She’d heard that pregnant people glowed, but she’d never believed it was true until she looked at Emily. She looked like she was shining from head to toe, like someone had taken a thin sheen of body wax and had painted her to perfection.

She finished her left foot and then moved to do her right foot. It felt therapeutic for the both of them. Alison blew lightly against Emily’s toes, trying to help the paint dry. She delicately ran the small brush against Emily’s pinky toenail.

Emily squirmed. Her body always felt like it was on fire when Alison touched her, but this was new and different. Alison didn’t usually touch her feet. Emily didn’t realize she would like it so much.

“Stop moving.” Alison laughed as she tried to hold Emily’s foot still.

“I can’t help it. It tickles.” She watched as Alison meticulously stroked the finishing polish across her toes.

“Big Bad Emily Fields can’t handle a little tickling?” Alison smirked at her.

“I guess you’re just going to have to hold me down.” Emily lifted her brows.

Alison shoved the brush back into the clear finishing bottle and put it down. She practically jumped up beside Emily and gave her a sneak attack side hug. Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde and laughed softly.

“I’m never going to let you go.” Alison pressed her cheek against Emily’s collar bone. They laid together for several minutes. Emily mindlessly raked her fingers through Alison’s hair. The quiet moments she had with her were her favorite moments. All she could think about was how she never wanted it to end.

Emily’s phone buzzed. She reached over without disturbing Alison and picked it up. She had a new message from Isaac.

**_Happy turkey day, turkey._ **

She smiled and replied,

**_Happy holidays, hambone._ **

Alison sat up, frowning at the phone.

“Is that freak bothering you again?” She glanced over Emily’s shoulder, her face red in anger. She was always ready to fight when she thought Emily was being hassled.

“Chill out. It’s just Isaac.”

“Oh.” Alison relaxed next to her. She glanced at the screen. “ _Hambone_?”

“He hates turkey. Every Thanksgiving his parents had to get a whole ham just for him. He used to destroy it. Barely even left the bone. I made a joke about it the first time our families had Thanksgiving together. It kind of stuck.”

Alison could hear a somber undertone in Emily’s voice. She tried to hide it, but it was there.

“You really miss him, don’t you?” She wasn’t angry. She was a little bit jealous, but for the most part she was just sad…because she didn’t want Emily to feel sad. “Not telling him…it’s killing you, isn’t it?”

Emily glanced down at her stomach. The bump was a secret to everyone but Alison. Emily was still hiding it at school, but around Alison she didn’t feel as self-conscious. In fact, the blonde made her feel empowered.

“It’s complicated. We were best friends before we got together. I miss our friendship. I miss giving him shit on the slopes on our ski trips and game night and karaoke night with our friends.”

“Whoa, back up. _You_ do karaoke? Why am I just now finding out about this? We _have_ to get Caleb and Mike to do a karaoke night at _The Brew_.”

“Oh, but we already have.” Emily reached over to tickle her side. It was her turn to see how sensitive Alison was to her touch. She already knew the answer, but she loved listening to her squeal in laughter. “Or don’t you remember drunkenly crooning Billy Joel to me after I rescued you from that frat party?”

“Ugh, I’ll never live that down.” Alison’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment. Hanna gave her shit for it all the time. “Did Isaac ever do that for you?”

She had a curious look on her face. The green monster of envy was rearing its ugly little head. Emily could see it in her eyes. She knew that Isaac was a sensitive topic to her. Alison was possessive, but she was also protective of her heart. She didn’t want to get hurt. It was hard for her to be vulnerable.

Emily carefully considered how to broach the topic. She didn’t want any doubts in Alison’s mind. She had shared more with her than she’d ever shared with anyone else. She had real feelings for her that only grew stronger each day.

“When it comes to me and Isaac you don’t have anything to be jealous of. I promise.” She wrapped her arms around the blonde again. “You make me feel things that he never made me feel. I would much rather hold _you_.” She rubbed Alison’s arm. “And kiss _you_.” She cupped Alison’s cheek and pressed her lips against Alison’s mouth.

“Still…” Alison pulled back hesitantly. She laid her palm against Emily’s stomach. “He has a part of you that I can never have.”

“But not the important part.” Emily gripped Alison’s hand and moved it up until it was resting against her heart. She smiled warmly at her. “I’m yours, Alison.”

Alison smiled back. Emily always knew what to say. She pushed her forehead against Emily’s and they met for another kiss. This time, Alison wasn’t so hesitant.

“Have you ever been in love before?” Alison questioned when they pulled apart.

Emily’s thoughts immediately drifted to Maya. She had cared for Maya so much, but had it been love?

“I don’t know. Have you?”

“No.” She had never met anyone who made her feel like Emily made her feel. She had never met anyone she would go to the ends of the Earth for. She had never been so close to someone that the thought of losing them made her feel like she wouldn’t survive. “How many other people have you been with? Besides Isaac?”

“You mean like…who have I _been with_ been with?” Emily asked.

“You told me about Isaac. But you never told me about anyone before Isaac, except Maya. I mean, you mentioned he wasn’t your first, but…I mean…what’s your number?”

“My _number_?”

“You know what I mean. Notches on the bedpost.”

“Do you really want a play-by-play of my ex-girlfriends?”

“ _Girlfriends_? As in more than one?”

“I was trying all the flavors.” Emily lifted her brows playfully.

“Were any of them ever serious?” There was a hint of jealousy in her voice. Isaac was one thing. He was not a threat. He’d never be a threat. Because Emily could never love him the way she loved her. But maybe there had been someone else who had stolen Emily’s heart.

“You were my first kiss.” Emily drew a nonsensical pattern along Alison’s jaw.

“I mean below the pants, Em.”

“I know. I just want you to know that nothing else really mattered after that kiss. Because I’ve never stopped feeling things for you.”

“But you’ve felt things for others, too?”

Emily paused thoughtfully. She always had a little crinkle in her forehead when she got lost in thought.

“There was a girl in California. Her name was Samara. She was a total rebel. I really liked hanging out with her. We got pretty close. She was unapologetically herself. I respected that. We fooled around a lot, but we never had sex. But she definitely stirred something in me. We probably would have stayed together if I hadn’t had to move. We both knew splitting was for the best. It was hard, though. She was my first girlfriend, but we weren’t anything serious. I wasn’t _ready_ to be anything serious.”

Sometimes Emily wondered how much time she’d wasted by hiding. She wondered what her life would have been like if she’d just been able to be herself.

“When I moved to Texas I secretly went out on a few dates with a couple of different girls, but they never went anywhere. Then I met Maya. She was singing in a jazz band with her brother at a speakeasy in town. We hit it off. We dated for a few months. She was my first time. I really cared about her. And she loved me. It just felt right. But then she got caught with drugs and her parents freaked out and sent her to some ‘get clean’ camp. I didn’t handle it well. That’s when I started hanging out with Isaac. And you know the story there.”

“That’s so sad about Maya. You have no idea what happened to her?”

“Her family moved. I never saw her again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s life. What can you do?” Emily asked. “What about you? Did you and Noel ever…”

“God no.” Alison looked disgusted at the thought of it. “I gave him a few handies and let him play with my boobs a few times…” She looked over at the brunette and saw a frown on her face. It was clear that Emily didn’t like the idea of her being with Noel. “We never bumped uglies, though. Other than Noel I made the rounds with a few others. The trans girl was really nice and we had a lot in common, but I think I started to get on her nerves so she dumped me. After that I yanked a couple of beefy dudes and fingered a few girls, but nothing serious. I never wanted to settle down.” She peered into Emily’s soft brown eyes. “Not until you came along.”

She smiled at Emily and laid her head against the soft part of Emily’s shoulder. Alison pushed her forehead against Emily’s warm cheek.

“So, you’re saying I tamed the wild beast?” Emily couldn’t help but think about her parents and how in love they were. They were proof that opposites attracted.

“Shut up.” Alison sat up with a laugh.

“There, there, lil beastie.” Emily playfully pat her head.

Alison rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but laugh. She linked her fingers in between Emily’s.

“You know what I’m thankful for?” Alison asked.

“Moisturizers and polyblends?” Emily guessed.

Alison scoffed and slapped Emily’s shoulder.

“ _You_ , dumbass.” She slipped her fingers down Emily’s arm and down over the knuckles on her hand. “And second chances.”

They held their gaze for a few seconds. Alison cupped Emily’s face in her hands as she leaned over to give her a kiss. Emily melted into the embrace. It slowly became more than just a kiss. Alison threw her leg over Emily and hovered over her as she moved her weight on top of her. She was mindful of her baby bump.

Emily gripped Alison’s hips and pulled her down so that their pelvises were flush. She felt a building pressure in between her legs as they pushed their bodies together.

Alison placed a sloppy kiss on the side of her lips and let out a shuddering breath.

“We’re going to mess up your toes.”

“Gonna mess up a lot more than that.” Emily smirked.

She flipped them over and laid against Alison. The move was effortless. The pressure between her legs was burning. Her heart felt like it was going burst through her rib cage. She instinctively rubbed herself against Alison’s leg. Alison lifted her thigh and moved against her.

Emily pinned Alison’s hands over her head and nipped at the exposed skin on her neck. Alison felt a rush of endorphins nearly paralyzing her senses. She pushed hard into Emily’s kiss. She could feel Emily’s tongue against her mouth and she parted her lips.

Emily let go of Alison’s wrists and grasped the side of her neck. Alison ran her hands up against Emily’s sides, pushing up underneath her shirt. Emily’s skin felt like fire underneath her fingertips. She was glistening with sweat, a byproduct of their snuggling.

Alison pressed her fingers into Emily’s ribs, which sent a pulsing sensation through brunette’s body. Alison slowly moved her hands down against Emily’s hips and gently guided her motions as their bodies melded together.

Emily buried her face into Alison’s neck and exhaled a heated breath against her skin as little tremors rocked her body. She suddenly felt very heavy, but was able to keep from collapsing on top of the blonde. She took a moment to drink in the smell of her pheromones. She had no idea that her sense of smell would be sensitive enough to pick up on all the little things that made her girlfriend so attractive, but she felt like a damn Bloodhound.

Emily ran her fingers through Alison’s hair and pressed a kiss against the soft fleshy part of her ear. Her hand moved down Alison’s side and up underneath her nightshirt. Her fingers traced her delicate skin until her fingertips grazed the side of her chest.

Emily’s touch made Alison’s body tingle. She felt Emily’s lips against hers and she got lost in the encounter. She quietly mewled into her mouth as they moved together.

“Em.” Alison quietly huffed, her voice breaking. She could barely breathe.

Emily could feel Alison’s body twitching. She lifted her head and peered into her piercing blue eyes. She kept her gaze locked on Alison’s as she slowly dipped her fingers into Alison’s pajama bottoms. She was surprised to find that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Alison smiled up at her, her dimples popping. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Emily paused, making sure that she wasn’t going too far too fast. It’s something Alison loved about her. She wasn’t afraid to take control, but she never abused that control. Even though she’d done it before she always made sure Alison _wanted_ to be touched before she actually did anything.

Alison saw the lust and desire in Emily’s expression. She felt her cheeks getting hot. She smiled at Emily and gently grasped the back of her neck to pull her in for a kiss. Her actions were a silent form of permission. Emily knew how to read her.

The second Emily touched her Alison knew she was going to lose control. She was completely under Emily’s command. Her body wasn’t hers. It was an extension of Emily, and Alison felt it. It’s something she’d never felt before.

Emily looked at her… _truly_ looked at her. Alison saw a soft kindness in her expressive brown eyes. She was compassionate and encouraging. She wanted Alison to know she cared, and that it was okay to feel what she was feeling. She knew Alison had trouble with her emotions. She wanted the blonde to understand that what she felt was totally natural.

Alison’s chest started to rapidly rise and fall as Emily’s warm fingers drew slow circles against her. She curled her fingers against the back of Emily’s neck, trying to keep her eyes focused on Emily, trying to keep from floating away entirely. Emily noticed the desperation in her look…the need to feel safe, to feel grounded. She kissed her and then pushed her forehead against Alison’s, their eyes never straying. She understood that Alison needed to see her, and she wanted to see Alison.

Emily used her pelvis to strengthen her motions. She put pressure against her in a way that sent a crashing wave of shock through Alison’s body. Her limbs seized. She saw stars. A quiet whimper slipped out of her mouth. For a split second she felt afraid, panicked. The loss of control was hard for her. But all she had to do was look into Emily’s eyes. She knew she was safe in her arms.

She felt something hot in her stomach expanding and growing like a balloon filled with hot water. She felt her body twitching every time Emily’s pelvis hit hers, until slowly the heat consumed her and the imaginary balloon burst.

She felt her body gently seize and she opened her mouth and shuddered. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t in control of anything. She couldn’t feel anything but pleasure. She was only partially aware when Emily slowed her motions and pulled her hand away from her. She slid her fingers against the inside of her thigh.

A few seconds later she felt Emily stroking her cheek.

Emily could feel Alison shivering.

“You okay?” Emily whispered against her lips.

Alison smiled at her. She loved that she’d asked that. No one ever cared enough about her to ask how she was feeling.

“Mmhmm.” Alison smiled, a serene expression on her face.

“You’re shaking.” Emily used her index and middle finger to push Alison’s hair behind her ear.

“Because I like how you make me feel. And I…” Alison paused. She licked her lips nervously. “No one has ever… _I’ve_ never…” Emily was the first person who had ever made her body react with such immense pleasure. “You know what we were talking about before?” She looked flustered. “About sex? About…who we’ve been with and everything? I um…I haven’t ever actually had anyone…you know… _get me there_.” It came out as one breath.

“You’ve never had an orgasm?” Emily didn’t sound surprised. Just curious.

“Not like that.” Alison was still trying to catch her breath.

She took a deep breath and then glanced at her girlfriend. She looked immensely hot. For some reason Alison wanted to take her fingers and suck on them.

“It’s okay, you know.” Emily mistook her silence for embarrassment. “It doesn’t always happen with everyone.”

She actually knew what Alison felt like. Because Isaac had never satisfied her. Maya only had once or twice. They had been young and figuring things out, which made it clumsy sometimes.

Alison lazily reached up and touched her cheek. She felt like a total mess. She was still trying to gather her thoughts.

“I think you’re the only one who will ever be able to make me feel like that.” Alison admitted. “Even with my exes we never really…” She trailed off, her eyes looking for something else to focus on. “I didn’t even know it was possible without actually going all the way. I never let them take it this far. I…”

It was so fucking hard telling Emily intimate things, but she felt like it was important to talk about. She’d always heard that if you couldn’t talk about sex then you weren’t ready to be doing it.

“I’ve never…” She bit her lip and turned away. “I’m not exactly _experienced_ in that department…”

“Wait, are you saying you’ve never had sex before?” Emily slowly moved off of her and scooted up against the pillows.

Alison knew Emily wasn’t judging her and that she wasn’t trying to shame her, but it hit a nerve. It made her feel defensive.

“I mean…I could if I wanted to.” Alison sat up. “People think I have. And I’ve made out with a lot of people. And guys like Noel talk. It’s not that I haven’t done stuff. I have. I’ve ripped my clothes off with the best of them, but I was always the one in control. I like to be in control. I like to dominate others…” She saw Emily curiously lift her brow, “But…I never let anyone control me…or touch me like you do…”

“Would you be more comfortable if I let you lead?” Emily questioned.

“No,” she answered, quickly, without even thinking. “With you I…I think I like it.” She ran her fingers up against Emily’s arm and smiled. “I _want_ you to control me. I like what you do to me. I’ve never felt my body do anything like that before.” Her cheeks were turning red. “You’re the only one who has _ever_ done that to me.”

“You are too precious for words right now.” Emily kissed her forehead.

“Shut up.” Alison rolled her eyes with a laugh. “ _Precious_ was not the vibe was going for.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “This is probably weird for you. You probably think I’m some uptight freak…that there is something wrong with me…”

“I don’t think that.” She pulled Alison into her arms. “I think you are one of the most beautiful…most rare people I’ve ever met.”

She thought it made Alison more beautiful. And it was enthralling to think about being able to be with her that way when the time came.

“I’m not a prude. I’ve…initiated. Is that the right word? Like…I’ve done _things_ for others, and I’ve let some of my exes touch me. And I’ve been…” She stuttered, “I’ve come close, but I’ve never had anyone completely… _have me_.” The words sounded ridiculous. “God, that sounds so childish.”

“It doesn’t.” Emily stroked her fingers. She didn’t want Alison to feel ashamed.

Alison had been self-conscious about it when they first started dating, which is why she was so anxious to get on with it. But now…she was glad she’d waited. She was glad she had someone as special as Emily.

“I’ve done things…with toys and stuff myself. I’ve experimented. And I’ve had a couple of people go down on me. But when it comes to like the actual…the _sex_ part…the…you know…” She held one of her hands up and made a loose fist, her fingers curling into a small circle. She took her other hand and poked her index finger into the opening she’d made with her fingers, “…no one has ever tapped the uncharted waters.”

The second she said it they both started giggling. Alison knew it sounded ridiculous. It was hard to talk about it, but she knew that they’d never get to a point where they were both in the same mindset unless they communicated.

“People tend to label me as a slut and whatever…I’m fine with that. It gives me more cred at school. But I’ve never been good with my feelings. This…everything with you is so different.” Alison paused thoughtfully. She hesitated before she continued, because she didn’t want to scare Emily away. “I know we’re still young and I know we haven’t been dating for very long, but…I think I’m falling for you, Emily.” She linked her fingers into Emily’s and peered at her. “And I’m terrified. Because I’ve never cared about anyone more than myself. I…I don’t know how.”

She traced her fingers against Emily’s arms, her touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. Emily laid her palm against Alison’s neck.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Emily cradled her jaw. “You’re enough. You always have been. I fell for you when we were ten years old. I see who you are. I _like_ who you are. I didn’t fall for the girl I wanted you to be. I fell for the girl I always knew you were.”

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Alison’s. She could feel the slick perspiration that had formed on her face. She pulled back and cupped her face.

Alison put on a huge bravado at school. She buried her true self and refused to let others in. But Emily had been able to see past that the second their eyes made contact outside the gym when she got back to town. Underneath the persona she put on for others was a smart and sensitive girl with a far greater capability for love than she realized.

Alison was constantly surprising Emily. As she laid in bed with Alison in her arms and saw the soft vulnerability in her sparkling blue eyes all Emily could think about was how beautiful and unblemished she was.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Alison. I know how much you care. I see it. I _feel_ it.” Emily pressed an innocent kiss against Alison’s lips.

Alison was trembling, but she didn’t understand why. It took her a few seconds to realize that it was her feelings…the emotions she’d kept locked away her entire life. She was letting herself feel. It was momentous. It was incredible. And it was absolutely terrifying.

“This…” She laid her palm against Emily’s side, “…us…being like _this_ …it means something when I’m with you,” Alison said timidly. She was still trying to figure it out. “I’ve never really _wanted_ anyone to have me in that way. Not in a way that is more than just…satisfaction. I’ve never wanted anyone…inside me…” She cringed, “God, I sound like a porno. That’s not…” She was flustered again, but Emily just smiled at her. The more she talked the more attractive she was to Emily. “I’m just saying I want that with you.” She slowly looked up at her. “Eventually. If…if you want to.”

She finally took a breath, stopping her rambling. She looked at Emily, waiting for her to say something. The silence was too much for her.

“Say something. Please.”

“Okay.” Emily nodded. She smiled. “Eventually.”

Alison breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad she hadn’t chased her away. She couldn’t believe how emotional she’d gotten. She felt like such a sissy.

“On the bright side?” Emily played with her hair. “At least you don’t have to worry about me getting you pregnant.”

Alison laughed, but she didn’t hate the idea of having a family with Emily. She didn’t hate the idea of strolling through the park holding Emily’s hand and watching their children play with one another. She couldn’t believe that it was even a picture in her mind, especially not one so vivid.

She’d never really had an idea of what her future would look like. She always assumed she would figure it out as she lived her life. She thought that she’d just take her money and burn through it…shopping, traveling, and enjoying her freedom. But when she looked at Emily she saw limitless possibilities.

It was such a weird concept…that she was picturing her own children when she was still somewhat of a child herself. She had never envisioned herself a housewife or a homebody. She never understood people who were happy with the bare minimum. She’d been raised to believe that money could buy everything. But she was starting to realize that money couldn’t buy love. Money couldn’t buy the life she really wanted for herself.

She could see her future as clear as day. And she wanted it with Emily and her child. She wanted the life she never had. She wanted to give the love she’d never received. She wasn’t sure why she felt the things she felt. Part of her wondered if she was trying to fill a void from her own childhood, but the other part of her knew that it was more than that. She knew she was meant to be in the baby’s life.

She knew that Emily was considering adoption for her daughter. She wanted so badly to tell her that she wanted her to keep the baby. She wanted to use her trust fund and start a life with her, though she wasn’t sure that would happen without her parents’ approval. She had a feeling they would cut her off if she told them she wanted a domestic life.

Her parents were counting on her to go into _their_ family business…to hobnob with snobs and be like them and pretend to actually give a damn about the world while remaining hopelessly ignorant and remaining in their little bubbles.

When Alison looked at Emily that horrid vision of her parents seemed to fall away. Her mind transformed her future into a lifetime of happiness with her girl. She’d fallen so far so fast. She might as well be sitting on her front porch picking at rose petals.

She dreamed about what their future _could_ be. Alison had hated a lot in her lifetime, but she’d never loved before. And she’d found love very appealing. She wanted to love more. She wanted to tell Emily not to put her baby up for adoption. But she also knew it wasn’t her place to do so.

She knew she was being idealistic.

As she was swirling in her thoughts Emily was watching her, cautiously, carefully. She wanted to know exactly what she was thinking, but she was also enjoying watching her bathe in her emotions. Still, she didn’t want Alison to feel overwhelmed.

“We’ll go at _your_ pace, okay?” Emily put her fingers underneath Alison’s chin. She kissed her again.

When Emily’s lips touched hers all of her insecurities melted away. It’s like nothing else in the world existed.

“ _My_ pace, huh?” Alison was intrigued. “So…like…what if I wanted to do _this_ …” She brushed aside Emily’s hair and leaned in to kiss her tender pulse point, “…or _this_ …” She casually slipped her hand up Emily’s shirt as she gently suckled against her neck. “Or…what about _this_?” She groped her chest.

She could feel the sizable difference of her growing bosom every time she touched her. She was careful as she gently kneaded them, checking Emily’s face for discomfort.

“I wouldn’t stop you.” Emily pressed her lips together.

“Oh, yeah?” Alison took it as a challenge. She kissed her shoulder, closing her eyes as she inhaled her scent. She looked at Emily, batting her eyes innocently. She knew exactly what she was doing to her. She slid her free hand into the front of Emily’s sweatpants, never taking her eyes off of the brunette. “How about now?”

“Mmm.” Emily smirked. “What do _you_ think?”

“I think…” Alison lifted her head and moved up to find Emily’s lips again, “…you are one of the sexiest women I’ve ever seen.”

“Not _the_ sexiest?” Emily moved her mouth gently against Alison’s, their lips hovering. She heaved out a breath. Alison was touching her in all the right places.

“That title belongs to me.” The edges of her lips turned upwards into a smile.

“Is that so?” Emily looked at her through hooded eyes. There was a smoky glaze on her face. Alison knew she had her right where she wanted her. “You know your humility is one of my favorite things about you.”

Alison couldn’t help but chuckle.

_My little smart-ass._

“I suppose that was self-involved.” Alison moved down to kiss her jaw again. “Care to let me make it up to you?”

“You can try.”

Alison smiled at her, a smoldering look on her face that clearly said _“challenge accepted”_.

Emily put her hand against Alison’s side. Her touch made Alison shudder. She had no idea how she managed to render her completely helpless with just one motion. Alison’s face softened as she moved up to find Emily’s lips again. Everything about her made Alison feel safe and secure.

She lightly bit down on Emily’s lip as she moved one hand against her chest and the other down the front of her pelvis. She felt Emily’s body curve into the motion as her fingers skirted her underwear.

“How’s this?” Alison murmured into their kiss.

“We’re getting there.” Emily smiled at her.

Her stomach muscles tensed as she felt Alison slide her hand underneath her panties. She grunted softly into their kiss as Alison mimicked Emily’s earlier motions.

Alison pulled back to look into her eyes briefly before she moved down to kiss her shoulder again. She left a trail of kisses against her exposed skin and then slowly moved down towards her stomach.

“Am I getting warmer?”

She felt Emily’s chest rise and fall slowly against her palm. She moved her hand down to her stomach. Her eyes landed on the small bump that was slowly growing. Emily had been using cocoa butter to prevent stretch marks, and so far she didn’t have a single blemish. Her skin was flushed and radiant. Alison marveled at the sight of the growing life inside of her girlfriend. A mixture of emotions flooded her mind.

She felt compelled to kiss her baby bump. The compulsion was too strong for her to ignore this time. She rubbed gentle circles with her palm as she pressed a kiss in the center of her growing belly. She kept her hand in place as she slowly repeated the motion.

When she looked up at Emily she saw an inquisitive look on her face. Alison couldn’t read her expression. She smiled sheepishly at her.

Emily reached down to cup her cheek. It was the sweetest gesture she’d ever seen. She loved seeing Alison’s walls coming down.

Alison continued to ravish her with kisses, slowly moving lower and lower until she reached the band of Emily’s sweatpants. She pulled her hand away from her pelvis and glanced at her as she gripped the edge of her pants, tugging on them.

“Ali…”

Alison didn’t say anything. She just rolled her sweats down and slowly started to pull them off. Emily didn’t object, so Alison didn’t stop. Seconds later they were crumpled up on the floor.

Alison kissed Emily’s inner thigh. She could feel her body twitching and trembling. Alison had her right where she wanted her. Though she didn’t have a lot of experience with letting others have their way with her, she knew how to please others. Emily would be no exception.

She reached up to brush her underwear aside. She felt Emily shudder. She looked up to make sure she was okay.

Her eyes were closed. She was taking heavy calculated breaths, as if she needed to remind herself to breathe. When she opened her eyes she looked directly at Alison.

Emily edged herself up on the pillows, leaning back against her elbows so she could see her. Alison kissed her inner thigh again and then moved higher.

Just as Alison was about to press her lips against her, they heard thunderous noise coming from downstairs. Seconds later they heard the heavy sound of a cabinet slamming closed in the kitchen.

“Jason.” Alison hissed under her breath.

In the midst of their passion she’d completely forgotten about her idiot brother. She dropped her head between Emily’s legs, resting her cheeks against her warm thighs. She grumbled in frustration.

As if he’d heard her annoyance, his voice rang out as he shouted up the stairs.

“ALI!” He was loud and commanding. “SOMEONE BROUGHT PIIIE!” He slurred the ‘s’ in ‘someone’. ‘Pie’ came out sing-songy. He was still completely sloshed. “YOU WANT SOME?”

“I have pie!” Alison lifted her head and shouted back without thinking.

Emily snickered. Alison glared up at her. She was beyond irritated that her brother had interrupted them.

“I’m curious…what flavor pie is it?” Emily bit her lip. It only made her look more tantalizing.

“Shut up.” Alison lowered her head and laughed in embarrassment.

Emily didn’t help matters when she started humming the song _“Cherry Pie”_. Alison scowled at her. Emily fell back against the pillows in laughter, letting her head rest against the downy fabric.

Alison sat up. The moment was over. And they both knew it.

Even after they heard Jason’s footsteps thudding towards his bedroom and the sound of his door slamming they didn’t regain their momentum.

Alison propped herself up. She sighed as she curled next to Emily. She snuggled close to her.

“I’m glad you’re having a girl.” Alison puffed her lips out in a pout. “Boys ruin everything.”

“We could wait for him to crash again.” Emily wrapped her arm around the small of Alison’s back, pulling her closer.

“With our luck he’ll barge in here and tell us he found the turkey and stuffing...like it’s some huge revelation to find extra food on the holidays.” She scoffed. “He’d probably cream his pants if he knew about the mashed potatoes and cornbread in the fridge in the basement.”

“Lovely visual while we’re in bed together in our underwear. Thank you for that,” Emily snorted sarcastically.

Alison groaned and mumbled out a few obscenities aimed at her brother. She looked up and saw Emily squinting. Her nose was twitching as she tried not to laugh.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed.” She brushed her knuckles against Alison’s cheek.

“I bet I’m fucking adorable right now then.”

“The _cutest_.” Emily booped the tip of her nose.

Alison cinched her brows together, unsure of how to respond. She looked like a little Tasmanian devil about to create a swirl of destruction. A kitten trying to act like a tiger. Grumpy, but cute.

Emily tried to soothe her with a chaste kiss. She stroked Alison’s arm and felt her tension fading away. Alison relaxed into Emily’s embrace. She grumbled something under her breath about her brother. Then she sighed and looked at her girlfriend. She traced her fingers across Emily’s cheek and then kissed her again.

The air in the room was quiet as they took the time to appreciate the company they were keeping in each other. Emily smiled at her and dug her fingernails into Alison’s ribs, eliciting a giggle out of her.

She knew all of her vulnerable spots, something that Alison was okay with. Her previous partners always made her feel uncomfortable when they touched her and tickled her. But with Emily, she couldn’t get enough of it.

Since Emily started a tickle war, Alison fought back by grasping her bare thigh and gently squeezing her supple skin. Emily huffed out a laugh. She’d never been super sensitive to touch, but the pregnancy was changing things about her body. Or maybe Alison was changing her. She wasn’t sure.

She grabbed Alison and rolled her over until her back was against the mattress, her fingertips hitting every sensitive nerve ending in her body. She tickled her until Alison’s laughter filled the air. Alison was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. They playfully rolled around, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

The downside of being so caught up in one another is that when they were together in quiet settings they both let their guard down. They felt safe with one another.

But that safety was just an illusion. They could only protect each other to a certain extent. Sometimes, things slipped through the cracks.

They were so busy snuggling that they didn’t hear the latch to the front door being tampered with. They didn’t hear the door softly open and close. They didn’t hear the light footsteps in the living room. But the intruder heard them. The sounds of their giggles echoed down the staircase.

A gloved hand traced a pattern into the banister, fingertips dancing against the wood. They’d been waiting to make their move since Jason drunkenly disappeared into the house. They had watched...and patiently waited.

The person looked around the house, their eyes falling on the grand piano. Seconds later the top of the piano creaked open and a small sleek black device was lowered into the opening. The device was taped in place and then the top to the piano was carefully closed.

The intruder walked out of the house, disappearing into the night. Emily and Alison never knew they were there. But the girls were about to find out that the game was changing in a very dangerous way.


	14. Basic Instinct

**A/N:** _This one skirts dangerously close to M-territory, though not in the way you’re all expecting. Tread gently. Sensitive topics and trigger(ish?) material. Remember in my author’s notes at the very beginning of this story when I said it was my lightest fic, but that it was going to have some discomfort and bad juju?_

_*insert chapter 14 here*_

_Also, there’s some “Game of Thrones” spoilers. Sorry about that._

* * *

**Chapter 14:**

**Basic Instinct**

Stress oftentimes created tension between couples, but the impending danger only drove Emily and Alison closer together. They presented as a united front in all respects. Their unyielding tenacity only made them stronger.

Alison was aggressively protective of Emily. When her phone went off, Alison demanded to know if it was the stalker. When she felt that anyone was getting too close to the brunette she blew her top.

Emily noticed the shift in Alison’s behavior. She knew it was because of the threats. Alison was on edge, and Emily was worried it was going to derail her. She worried about what her life was doing to Alison’s mental health.

The month of December was anything but joyous. They were on edge. Caleb had been trying to land a solid lead of some kind for weeks, but the person on the other end of the screen was someone who was brilliant. Insanely so.

Emily had taken a page out of her father’s playbook and was trying her best to keep Alison calm about the situation. She was level-headed and cool about everything, at least…in front of others.

When she was alone she was constantly looking over her shoulder. She felt it when eyes were on her. She second-guessed everyone she came into contact with. She felt like she was being watched every second of the day. She felt like everyone was out to get her, even though she knew that wasn’t the case.

Sometimes she’d wake up in a cold sweat, drenched and shaking. One time she had been taking an afternoon nap with Alison on her couch after they had fallen asleep watching a movie. Alison had felt her shaking, but when she went to comfort her Emily had lashed out in her unconsciousness and had nearly punched her in the face.

When she woke up Alison was sitting on the floor in a daze after having been kicked off of the couch. She’d immediately apologized and told her she’d been having a nightmare about the Halloween dance. It was a lie. She was having nightmares about something far worse. She was having nightmares about something happening to her baby.

She tried not to let her paranoia get the better of her, but it was hard. Sometimes late at night at the gym she heard things in the stillness. In the middle of the night she was seeing shadows of people she knew weren’t really there. Every time she crossed the street she wondered if a car was going to come out of nowhere and strike her. Food started to make her queasy, not because of the baby, but because she was afraid someone would put something in it.

It wasn’t her life she was worried about. She worried more about her unborn child. And she worried about Alison.

She insisted that the blonde learn self-defense. That way, at the very least, if Emily wasn’t around to protect her, she could protect herself.

Emily offered to train her, but Alison knew she could never hit her…or even attempt to hit her. But she didn’t want Emily to get pissed at her and accuse her of treating her like she was fragile. She didn’t want Emily to think it was because of the baby, even though it was. So she’d told her that she’d be too distracted by her boobs to concentrate.

_“You turn me on when you spar. I’d end up kissing you instead of hitting you…”_

Then, to prove her point, she backed Emily against the wall in one of her lessons and kissed her. So Emily had set her up with Jake for the remainder of the training. Alison had balked when she learned she’d be training with Aria and Mike. Everyone else reveled in it. Toby signed up to spar with Mike. Aria and Alison were paired, much to Alison’s chagrin.

Emily was working one-on-one with Jake, providing the demonstration for everyone. Alison flinched every time they showed the class a move. She was terrified Jake would slip up and accidentally hurt her. It threw off her focus.

A few other Rosewood students came by to watch the session. Caleb paused his workout to pop in and watch. Mona was sitting off to the side with Spencer. They were watching Toby and Mike throwing jabs at one another. Ezra was throwing some solo punches at a heavybag in the corner. He rarely worked out when classes were in session…or at all. He stole a glance at Aria. It was obvious he was trying to impress her.

The class was wrapping up with how to escape from chokeholds. Jake and Emily demonstrated it several times. The motions looked so fast and were hard for Alison to follow. All she could concentrate on was his arm around her neck. It sparked a rage inside of her, even though she knew he wasn’t really hurting her. It just triggered an instinct in her. She scowled at him.

Emily used her entire body to slip out of his hold. It was effortless. Alison breathed a sigh of relief. Then she turned to face Aria, who had been pretty much dominating the entire class. Aria was surprisingly spry for being such a tiny person.

Everyone else watched in anticipation. Emily noticed Noel watching from the shadows. She stepped into his field of vision and stared at him. He scoffed and rolled his eyes before walking out.

Jake went around and had everyone practice being the attacker and the victim. Emily watched, making sure they were practicing the proper stances. She kept her eyes trained on her girlfriend.

Watching Alison learn self-defense for the first time reminded her of the last time she’d actually had to use her self-defense skills…back before Noel. The parallels between what happened with Noel and what had happened back in Texas were downright eerie. It was why she’d reacted so violently to Noel in the locker room.

It had been the spring before she got pregnant. The swim team was running drills. Most of the girls had left, but Emily was focused and driven. She would have done anything to avoid spending time with Isaac. Lying to him about her love for him was taking its toll.

Swimming was her escape. She channeled all of her energy into her swim game. And the coach noticed.

Courtney noticed the coach noticing her. And she didn’t like it.

Nick had tried to get Courtney to leave after practice was over. She’d been sick, but she had refused to stay home. She couldn’t stand to let Emily have all the glory. She refused to let Emily Fields show her up. She hated the brunette for flaunting her superiority both inside and outside the pool…at her house…with her brother. It was bad enough that she had to see her at practice, but she had invaded her home like an unwelcome host. She’d put her brother under some unwavering spell.

She saw Emily as an interloper in her life. The brunette got under her skin, like a poisonous hot liquid in her veins. She was a toxic stain that Courtney couldn’t scrub away. Her beauty was shallow. Her smile was a lie.

When she looked at Emily she could feel a visceral reaction in her entire body. She could feel her lungs seizing…her heart racing…her skin prickling. And she felt angry. Irrationally so. Because Emily couldn’t be controlled. It was clear that the brunette had a beast inside of her that couldn’t be tamed. Why couldn’t anyone else see it?

Courtney’s fury had gotten worse lately. She’d been snapping at Nick for talking to Emily. She’d been dropping hints to her daft brother that something just wasn’t right with Emily.

Neither boy listened to her. It only fueled her fire. She couldn’t lose control. She couldn’t let Emily have any leeway.

She felt like Emily was walking around lying to their town about everything. She knew the secrets she kept. And she knew exactly how she wanted to use them against her. She would show Emily Fields that she was the one running things. _She_ was dominant. _She_ was the head bitch in charge.

She knew exactly how to hit her where it hurt. She knew if she pushed her hard enough she would see the _real_ Emily.

The real Emily that no one knew about except her. The girl who could cause cataclysmic damage if the right buttons were pushed. The real Emily was wild. She was untamed. She was the perfect play thing.

Courtney hadn’t taken her eyes off of her at swimming practice. Seeing her in the water gave her a twisted thrill. Emily lived her life in the water. Courtney had dreams that one day she would die in it, too, swept under, unable to grasp the air she desperately needed.

The feeling of euphoria she’d gotten watching her struggling for breath as she’d held her under the surface had sent a surge of power through her…a giddy excitement she couldn’t contain.

She’d imagined Emily’s limbs burning, her lungs on fire. She’d imagined her brain firing neurons, telling her that she was dying. She’d imagined what that would to do her adrenaline levels. She’d imagined her heart racing. It had sent a pleasurable wave through Courtney’s body.

Water couldn’t be manipulated. It was dangerous, like a dark sea and an undercurrent that couldn’t be seen on the surface. It was important for Emily to know her place…for her to understand that she needed to respect such a powerful force. She needed to understand that drowning wasn’t loud. She could drown in the air, suffocated by a quiet subtle humidity that expelled moisture unseen to the naked eye. She could drown on dry land.

Emily was talented. Her diving was perfect. Her strokes were something to admire. Her endurance and stamina were almost inhuman. She was truly a natural. If Courtney didn’t hate her so much she’d probably want her in her clique.

Emily had been in top form that day. The water surged around her, like she was commanding it, instructing it on where to go. She had an annoying ability to make it seem as though it was just an extension of her own body. The water ebbed and flowed around her.

She’d watched Emily, and she’d felt an urge…something stirring inside of her. She felt the need to put an end to Emily’s reign of supremacy.

She’d quietly sipped on a drink that Nick had brought her. He was rubbing her back. Her muscles had been sore because of all the excess training she was doing. Getting sick had not helped her swim times.

 _“How are you feeling?”_ Nick had leaned back in the bleachers, completely oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend had been staring at Emily the entire time he’d been working out the kinks in her muscles.

She’d plastered a smile on her face and politely told him that she needed more water. And like the dutiful boyfriend that he was…he’d hopped right to it. She had the boy well-trained. It was easy, really. All she had to do was ride him every once in a while. He would do anything to get his dick squeezed.

He was attractive enough. It’s not that he wasn’t good looking. But when he was flailing around underneath her completely out of control and sloppily finishing he looked so small. So weak.

Boys were easily controlled by sex. It was boring to her. But it was pleasurable. She didn’t mind the feel of his body underneath her touch…her fingers against his chest as his breaths came out hitched and uneven. The hyper-oxygenation oftentimes made the veins in his neck stick out.

Courtney had always been fascinated by what happened to the body when there was a lack of oxygen. She’d wrapped her hands around his neck more than once when they were in the middle of it. He seemed to enjoy it. She did, too. Sometimes she fantasized about doing it to others.

Nick had quickly returned with her drink and a packet of crackers. Courtney had smiled and thanked him, playing the role of sickly sweet girlfriend flawlessly. It was easy for her to turn it on and off.

No one knew.

No one except for Emily. Emily often looked at her like there was something wrong with her. She never said anything though. She was too polite. She was too nice. She wasn’t broken enough yet.

Most of the other girls had cleared out, leaving Courtney and Nick alone with Emily. Courtney wasn’t surprised to hear her upbeat comment to the coach about swimming more laps.

_“I could go again.”_

Courtney had been watching from across the room as Emily pulled herself out of the pool. Her bathing suit hugged her sleek frame. Water trickled down over her body, streaming down her long tone legs. It splashed down to the floor around her. She was oblivious to the fact that Courtney was still there.

Courtney did not appreciate being ignored.

 _“I could, too.”_ She’d chimed in, glaring at Emily, _daring_ her to accept her challenge.

_“Sure. We could compete.”_

Courtney had thrown her towel away from her waist and stood up. Nick grabbed her hand.

 _“Court…”_ He’d furrowed his brow. _“You need to rest…”_

He had been _so_ annoying with his attention lately. She didn’t appreciate being told what to do. It’s not like she was dying. People got the flu all the time.

_“What I NEED is for you to shut up and let me win.”_

_“Babe…”_ His tone was soft.

There was a gentleness in his voice. Despite Courtney being a horrible person he loved her. And the bug she was getting over had really knocked her for a loop.

But she was already padding across the tile to the diving blocks. Emily was limbering up. Courtney watched her.

 _Fucking showoff_. She’d thought to herself.

When they heard the whistle they’d arched their bodies and whipped through the air into the water below. It was a tight race. They were neck and neck going into the final lap. Courtney was certain she’d pulled ahead near the end. But as she was slapping her hand against the wall at the finish ready to declare victory, Emily was already pulling herself out of the water. She had a smug look on her face.

There was _no_ way she was letting Emily win. Her muscles were aching and her head was throbbing, but she refused to back down.

 _“Good. Now that we’ve warmed up let’s go for real this time,”_ Courtney had said coolly.

So they’d gone again. And again. After the fourth time in a row of Emily beating her Courtney nearly exploded.

 _“Guess the HGH is really paying off,”_ she’d said snidely in front of the coach.

_“Excuse me? I don’t do drugs.”_

Courtney’s lips twisted in a smirk. She knew for a fact that Emily had smoked pot with Nick earlier in the week.

_“Care to prove it?”_

_“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”_ Emily had grabbed her gym shorts out of her bag and pulled them on.

_“There is no way that you’re pulling the times you’re pulling without some kind of help.”_

_“Maybe you’re just out of practice.”_

Nick had walked over to the confrontation. He’d deescalated their arguments before. Courtney and Emily both liked him.

 _“Let’s go again.”_ Courtney had walked towards the diving block.

Nick had grabbed her arm, this time more firmly than he had in the bleachers. He looked really concerned. Courtney hadn’t eaten anything all day.

_“Maybe you should just call it a tie. You’re pushing yourself too hard.”_

Courtney had seen an angry explosion in her field of vision. Emily was refusing to concede. Nick was treating her like a child. And the coach was just standing there, useless.

She’d snarled in frustration and ripped her arm away from Nick. She’d stormed towards the locker rooms.

Nick and Emily had both followed her. Nick had stopped at the door and peered at the image of the blocky woman in a dress painted on the wood. He’d glanced at Emily pleadingly.

 _“Could you…”_ He’d hesitated. He knew they didn’t like each other. _“Would you go check on her?”_

It was the last thing Emily wanted to do. But she owed it to Nick and Isaac to make sure Courtney was okay.

Emily found her a few minutes later. She’d stripped out of her suit. It was lying on the floor in a wet puddle at her feet. She was sitting on a bench in her tank top and underwear.

Emily had expected a snarky remark or for her to tell her to get lost, but she’d just raised her head and looked at her.

Nick was right. She did look worn down. Emily could see dark circles under her eyes. Her normally vibrant cheeks were devoid of their color. Her skin looked pasty and clammy. It was actually kind of amazing she’d been able to keep up in the pool at all.

 _“Hey, you okay?”_ Emily walked over to her.

_“What are you doing here?”_

_“It’s kind of a public area.”_

Courtney just sniffled and lowered her chin. She looked like she was about to cry. Emily shuffled on her feet in uncertainty. Her head was telling her to get the hell away from her. Her heart was telling her not to leave her. She couldn’t stand to see anyone hurting. Courtney deserved every barb Emily could throw at her, but Emily wasn’t the kind of person who attacked someone when they were at their lowest.

 _“Nick says you’ve been fighting some kind of a super-bug. I bet that’s why you were a little behind me out there…”_ She’d lowered herself on to the bench next to Courtney.

 _“I was NOT…”_ She’d whipped her head up and glared at Emily.

Emily held her hands out in front of her with her palms facing forward in a sign of peace.

_“Okay.”_

Courtney groaned and lowered her head, digging her fists against her temples. She closed her eyes. She hated to admit that Nick was right, but she had definitely pushed herself too hard. Her stomach felt hard. It was lurching. She waited a few seconds for it to pass.

When she looked up she saw that Emily had moved closer. Her face was tight. Was she…was she _actually_ concerned?

_“Seriously…Courtney, are you okay?”_

_“I don’t need your fake sympathy.”_ Courtney had bit back.

Emily had shrugged and pursed her lips in thought.

_“I’m sorry I called you a shitty swimmer out there.”_

_“I don’t recall you saying that.”_

_“No?”_ Emily forced a smile on her face, trying to create _some_ kind of a peace between them. She had to live with Courtney as long as she was with Isaac. _“Maybe I just thought it.”_

 _“What other kinds of thoughts do you have?”_ Courtney prodded her.

The question had a double-meaning, and Emily knew it. But she didn’t take the bait. She was tired of fighting with Isaac’s sister. For the most part, she dodged Courtney’s wrath. The blonde picked on everyone relentlessly, but in the public eye she refused to square up with Emily. Emily always assumed it was because she was dating her brother. But it was so much more complex than Emily realized at the time.

_“Currently? The fact that I saw a dog fetching a stick on my ride to school this morning and I’ve been wondering whether or not dogs fetch sticks because at one point in time wolves may have been fetching firewood for cave people.”_

_“God, you’re so fucking weird.”_

The room was silent for a few minutes. Emily tapped her fingers against the bench and clicked her tongue. She really wanted to just get up and leave. But her heart wouldn’t let her.

_“Still feel sick?”_

_“No.”_

_“Good.”_

Courtney glanced at her. The girl had a genuine expression on her face. As much as Courtney hated her, she couldn’t deny that she was a caring person. She had seen the kindness in her heart more than once.

At the beginning of the year they’d been forced to volunteer at a swim academy for kids as part of a team-building exercise. The kids loved her. She’d been so gentle and soft with them. They’d hung on to her every word.

It had irked Courtney…seeing them worship her, like a false idol of some kind. It irritated her that they couldn’t see her faults. Because while Courtney had seen her at her best, she’d seen her at her worst, too.

She’d seen the demons she carried inside. She’d seen the rage. She’d felt it when Emily pinned her to the floor beside the pool the day she’d had her Baptism. Her uneven breaths. Her clenched jaw. The look of madness in her eyes.

Courtney knew what Emily was truly capable of. There was something alluring about the darkness in her. There was something exciting about seeing Emily pushed to her limits.

But that wasn’t the Emily that was sitting next to her. The Emily sitting next to her was the same girl who held a three-year-old’s hand when he was afraid of getting in the water. She’d gently led the little boy down the pool steps and picked him up as they’d submerged themselves in the water. He had clung to her and she had let him, easing him into it slowly. For some reason, it bothered her. Emily’s kindness felt like a lie.

_“Why are you being nice to me?”_

Emily wanted to answer, “because your boyfriend is making me…” but instead she’d just shrugged.

 _“We’re part of a team.”_ She’d glanced away. She felt so awkward sitting next to someone she wanted to punch half the time. _“And you’re Isaac’s sister, and I care about him.”_

The way she’d averted her eyes intrigued Courtney. She watched as Emily reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. She exuded a strange kind of confidence. Emily could feel Courtney’s eyes on her, so she turned to face her.

Their eyes met. Courtney leaned towards her, smiling. She glanced at Emily’s lips and licked her own before she moved forward. She grazed Emily’s lips, gently huffing out a breath as her mouth ghosted over Emily’s. She surged forward, putting more power behind the motion.

Courtney’s lips tasted like vanilla from the chapstick she’d applied right before Emily walked in. The kiss was harder…deeper than the time Courtney had kissed her in the locker room.

Emily didn’t kiss back, but she didn’t pull away because she was too shocked. It was exactly what Courtney had been hoping for.

She moved her lips against Emily’s, pulling her into her trap. She could feel the brunette’s resistance. She tried to get her to give in to her true nature. She laid her palm against Emily’s leg. Emily made a gurgled noise under her breath and softly pulled her lips away. Her cheeks were red and she looked flustered.

Courtney caressed her thigh, moving her fingers inward, gently pressing against Emily’s skin.

Emily’s skin prickled at her touch. Feeling Courtney touching her sent her back into the pool with water flooding her lungs while Courtney held her under.

 _“Courtney, I don’t…”_ She’d swallowed hard, _“I’m not…”_ She’d stuttered. _“I’m with Isaac…”_

A cold wave of anger washed over the blonde. Emily watched as the expression on her face changed. Her gaze became icy. It was like a switch had flipped inside of her. She’d let out a sardonic laugh. She had a strange glint in her dull lifeless eyes.

_“That’s such bullshit.”_

_“What?”_

_“Oh, honey…”_ She’d cooed, darkness in her tone. _“You don’t fool me for one second.”_

_“What are you talking about?”_

Courtney tightened her grip on Emily’s inner thigh. She held Emily’s gaze. She curled her lips back in a sneer, flashing her teeth at Emily.

_“Does it make you jealous that Nick can satisfy me in EVERY way? That he can fill me up completely? Do you think about him in me and wish it was you?”_

_“What? God…no…what are you even…”_ Emily had made a face, disgusted at the images Courtney was planting in her mind.

 _“You don’t love my brother,”_ she’d been so calm. So sure.

Emily tried not to let her see how much the comment bothered her. But Courtney knew she had her pegged.

She dug her nails into Emily’s thigh, cutting into her skin. She hissed at her. She was like a completely different person. Emily saw something ominous in her expression.

Emily leaped to her feet, trying to get away. Courtney’s hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. She slowly rose to her feet. She forced Emily to look at her. She cocked her head with a twisted look on her face, like she was trying to decide how much she wanted to hurt her. She leaned forward, lowering her voice to a taunting whisper.

_“I’ve seen your face when he’s on top of you. I’ve seen you fake it.”_

Emily looked at her, completely horrified. She and Isaac had been careful about keeping their private lives private. But now all she could picture was Courtney in the shadows.

 _“That’s sick.”_ She’d ripped her hand away from the cruel blonde’s grasp.

 _“Who do you think about when he’s fucking you?”_ She’d reached up to play with Emily’s hair.

_“You’re sick. You need help.”_

Watching her brother have sex was a new low.

 _“Do you even get to finish?”_ She’d smirked. _“I bet you don’t. I bet he’s never made you feel good.”_

 _“This is over. We’re done…”_ Emily had tried to walk away, but Courtney grabbed her again. _“Let go of me.”_

 _“Do you make him take you from behind so you don’t have to see his face?”_ She’d squeezed her wrist. _“Does he rawdog you with his big…”_ She’d paused for emphasis _, “strong d…”_

 _“Stop it.”_ Emily felt sick to her stomach.

_“Do you think about me…strapped and holding you down? I bet you’d take every inch of me…like the whore you are.”_

Emily had heard enough. She slammed Courtney against the lockers. Courtney bounced back and reached up to grab her neck, but Emily grabbed her arms and pinned her down against the jagged metal structure. Courtney just laughed at her.

 _“There you are, Killer.”_ Her breath came out ragged and low. _“I knew you were in there somewhere. Show me who you REALLY are.”_

 _“What is your problem?”_ Emily’s nostrils flared.

Courtney ripped her wrist out of Emily’s grasp. Emily assumed she was going to hit her, but instead Courtney reached down and slipped her hand in between Emily’s thighs, running her fingertips up her shorts.

_“What the hell are you doing?”_

_“Does this turn you on?”_

Before Emily had a chance to slap her hand away Courtney’s fingers were against her. The blonde giggled in delight.

 _“You want me.”_ She’d smirked. _“I can feel it. You’re wet.”_

 _“Because I just got out of the fucking pool.”_ Emily had hissed. _“Don’t fucking touch me.”_ She slapped Courtney’s arm away and stumbled back.

Her heart was pounding in her chest. As she felt the adrenaline coursing through her body she had a flashback to something she’d learned in psychology about how arousal and fear oftentimes stimulated the body to react in the exact same way. It’s why teens went to raunchy horror films. Because the increase in blood pressure dilated the vessels in the body. It opened everything up. And _everything_ in her body was reacting.

Courtney looked at her, a permanent smile affixed to her face. It was otherworldly. It was as if she knew exactly what Emily was thinking…like she could smell her fear.

 _“You’re afraid of me,”_ she’d stated triumphantly, as if it’s what she’d been after all along. _“Oh, Emmy…”_ She’d leaned forward on her bare feet.

Her hand shot out and grasped Emily’s jaw. She leaned so close that Emily could taste her breath. She was too shocked to react. Was this really happening?

 _“I OWN you,”_ she’d threatened, her fingernails cutting down to the bone on Emily’s jaw.

Something in Emily’s body chemistry changed. Her survival instincts kicked in. Her entire body felt charged, like an electric bolt of energy. Her brain was on overdrive. She was suddenly very aware of all of her surroundings. She didn’t think. She just reacted naturally in self-defense.

 _“Get away from me!”_ Emily raised her arms sharply and smacked Courtney’s arms away.

Courtney gave Emily a knowing look, taunting her. She stood very still, watching, waiting. Both of them were breathing hard. Emily was ready for a fight. She didn’t know that Courtney had other plans in mind.

The blonde had come at her fast, like a snake. She’d grabbed Emily’s arms and dug her fingernails into her skin. She’d pulled Emily forward and whipped her around, slamming her against the lockers.

She’d pinned her down and forced her lips on to the brunette’s in a bruising kiss. She’d mashed her lips hard against Emily’s, despite her protests, shoving her tongue into her mouth. Emily felt Courtney bite down on her lip hard enough to draw blood.

Before she had a chance to defend herself Courtney shoved her fingers into her shorts. Emily felt her trying to prod forward.

There was a moment…a brief moment where Emily paused. She didn’t move. She didn’t try to stop her. Her brain and her body and her adrenaline were pulling her in all different directions. It was as if though her entire body was in disagreement.

And she hated herself for it.

She wasn’t attracted to Courtney. She hated her with a passion. But her body was reacting. Part of her knew it was because it had been a long time since she’d felt the touch of another woman. She felt nothing with Isaac. Courtney was right about that. But she did love him. She loved her best friend, but only as that.

The only time she ever felt her body react to touch was when she was with girls. Courtney’s fingers were delicate and nimble, like Maya’s. For a brief second she saw a flash of her ex-girlfriend’s face. Her wry smile. Her soft brown eyes. They were always full of intrigue and mischief. She found herself aching for Maya, missing her more than ever.

Then she blinked and she saw Courtney’s icy blue eyes glaring back into hers as she grinned sadistically.

Her body had totally shut down. Her mind wanted to react, but she was frozen. She knew it was the shock of it all. She’d snapped to her senses in a matter of seconds.

She’d turned her face away, ripping her lips free, trying to get away from her.

_“Courtney, stop it.”_

When she tried to wiggle free she felt Courtney’s grip on her arm tighten. Her fingernails were starting to cut into her skin. The fingertips of her other hand greedily pushed forward, trying to get underneath her bathing suit.

_“I can feel how much you want this…”_

_“Get off of me.”_ She’d tried to push her away, but Courtney was freakishly strong.

 _“I own you,”_ she’d hissed again.

 _“Don’t do this.”_ Emily’s voice cracked.

Courtney paused in her actions. She saw something in Emily’s eyes, and there was a little part of her that told her to stop. Something about Emily’s expression seemed grave, almost pleading.

But it didn’t make sense to her. It didn’t make sense that she could _feel_ that Emily wanted it.

Then again, what did that say about her? What did it mean that she _wanted_ Emily? Not just to play with her. She wanted to have her…to own her.

Courtney’s face fell flat, her eyes dead as she chose to ignore Emily’s pleas. Because she knew that deep down they both wanted it. Her animalistic nature took over.

She forced her lips on Emily’s again. She refused to accept Emily’s resistance. She refused to let her pull away.

 _Mine._ She thought to herself.

Emily was _hers_. She had decided she was staking her claim on her. She grinned as she wriggled her index finger and pressed the tip forward underneath Emily’s bathing suit.

Emily’s eyes widened. She felt panic fluttering in her chest. She had always practiced passive resistance, but she could lay someone out if she wanted to. Her dad had taught her how to throw a punch. And her self-defense classes had given her an even stronger sense of self-preservation. She only started swinging when it was absolutely necessary.

When she realized Courtney wasn’t going to stop…she realized it was absolutely necessary. Her instincts took over. She wrenched free of Courtney’s hold and moved so quickly that Courtney didn’t even realize what was happening. She grabbed the blonde’s arm and twisted it roughly behind her back.

Courtney let out shriek of pain as Emily slammed her face first into the lockers. She had enough force on her arm to break it, but she simply held her in place.

 _“I told you to stop!”_ Emily was so angry that she was shaking.

Courtney started laughing menacingly. She sounded crazy.

 _“You’ve got me just where you want me, don’t you?”_ She’d tried to turn her face, but she couldn’t see Emily. _“Go ahead and fuck me. Prove you’re the FREAK that I know you are.”_

 _“This is over.”_ Emily tried to keep her anger in check. _“You’re going to walk out of here…go back to your boyfriend…and you’re never going to bother me again, do you understand me?”_

 _“Oh, yes daddy.”_ Courtney snorted, not taking her seriously.

 _“I fucking mean it.”_ She’d put more pressure against her arm.

Courtney cried out again.

 _“Stop it, you’re hurting me!”_ She sounded like a frightened child.

Emily knew what Courtney was doing. She was hoping that Nick was listening at the door.

He wasn’t. He’d stepped outside to have a cigarette. So Courtney’s idea to make Emily look like a crazy bitch wasn’t going to go as planned.

_“If I let you go are you going to act like a psycho again?”_

_“You’re the psycho. You walk around like you own the place. You use my brother. You use my Nicky…”_

_“You’re out of your fucking mind.”_ Emily aggressively pushed her forward again.

_“I’m just trying to protect what’s mine. You don’t deserve him.”_

She wasn’t sure if she meant Nick or Isaac. Either way, it pissed her off.

_“You can’t own people, Courtney. There’s a huge bulk of history that makes it abundantly clear how abhorrent that is. Now STOP struggling and back the fuck down.”_

_“Fine.”_

Emily had held her in place for a few more seconds, her entire body shaking in rage. She wanted to beat the shit out of her. But she knew she couldn’t lay a finger on her…for Isaac’s sake. It didn’t matter that Courtney was scummy to him. They were still family. Isaac would be forced to take Courtney’s side, no matter what she did.

She’d let go of Courtney’s arm and took two steps back, staying within just enough distance to get control of her again if Courtney tried anything again.

Courtney had slowly turned around, like she was calculating every move. And Emily knew she was doing just that.

 _“I know what you are.”_ She’d stared at the panting brunette. There was a wild look in her dark brown eyes. And Courtney knew she’d gotten her message across. She knew that Emily was _hers_. _“You’re going to hell.”_

 _“I’ll see you there.”_ Emily snapped.

_“You really could have screwed up my arm. If you had blown my swimming career you would have been really sorry.”_

_“You started it.”_

_“Oh, please.”_ Courtney rolled her eyes. _“You were all over me…batting those eyes, rubbing your leg against mine…”_

_“You’re deluded if you think I could EVER be in to you.”_

_“Why not? We both know I’m your type.”_ Courtney smirked. _“You liked that kiss. I know you did. You like it when women take charge, don’t you?”_

Emily didn’t respond. She just glared angrily at her. Courtney continued to taunt her.

 _“Let’s just ask Maya…”_ Her smirk widened, a knowing look on her face, a pointed inflection in her tone. _“Aww, wait…guess we can’t.”_

Emily felt a twinge of pain at the mention of her ex-girlfriend. Even though she’d been busy distracting herself she still thought about her often. She missed her. And hearing Courtney bring her up made her feel a bubbling pain that she’d buried. She channeled her pain into anger.

 _“You keep Maya’s name out of your mouth, do you understand me?”_ She’d threatened. She’d huffed. _“You go too far, Courtney.”_

 _Oh, you have no idea…_ Courtney thought to herself.

Emily’s hands were trembling at her sides. Her heart was pumping. She felt like she was going to pass out.

 _“Why won’t you admit it?”_ Courtney rotated her shoulder. She tilted her neck to the side to loosen her muscles. She turned her head towards Emily and took a step forward. Emily stood her ground, _“You’re lying to yourself. You’re lying to the whole world. And I’m going to tell everyone…”_ She took another step forward, _“…unless…”_ She paused and peered at her, _“…you do exactly what I say.”_

_“What do you want from me?”_

Courtney wanted Emily to bow at her feet. She wanted her to worship her. To cherish her.

_“Quit the team.”_

_“Absolutely not.”_ Swimming was the only thing keeping her sane.

_“Quit the team. Stop hanging out with Nick. And break up with my brother. I want you out of my life.”_

_“I’m not going to do that.”_

_“Fine. But don’t come crying to me if mommy and daddy find out that their little girl isn’t the perfect little STRAIGHT-edged angel they thought she was. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll send you away.”_

_“Why are you doing this to me?”_

_“I’m doing you a favor, sweetie.”_ She had a smile on her face, but her tone was wicked.

Emily stared at her, continuing to hold her ground. She refused to back down from their stand-off. She refused to give in to her. She called her bluff.

_“Fuck you, Courtney.”_

_“You wish.”_ She’d pursed her lips, the undertone of a smile still on her face.

Emily stared at her. Something inside of her snapped. She was tired of always walking around on eggshells around the blonde. She was tired of giving her her way.

 _“I’m not going anywhere. So you’re just going to have to get used to me.”_ Without thinking, she’d closed the distance between them. She towered over her. She wasn’t afraid. She dared Courtney to test her again. _“YOU kissed ME. And if you try to tell anyone any differently I will rake your ass over the coals, you feel me?”_

Courtney laughed, a blast of air coming out of her nose. She nodded in a subtle show of respect for the girl standing in front of her. She glanced at Emily’s toned muscles. Her hands were in fists at her side.

The danger was intoxicating.

 _“I’m impressed…”_ Courtney reached up and stroked her arm.

The hair on Emily’s body stood on ends when she felt her fingertips. It triggered her fight-or-flight response immediately.

 _“I said STOP!”_ Emily threw her hands up and slammed her palms against Courtney’s shoulders. It sent her tumbling backwards over the bench. She hit the cold hard floor, landing on her ass. She cried out, but Emily couldn’t tell if it was genuine or if she was acting.

When Courtney didn’t spring back up into the fight Emily realized she might have actually hurt her. Courtney’s face shifted again. She had tears in her eyes.

Despite all the horrible things she had done to her, Emily felt guilty. Her honor always won out in the end.

 _“Oh my God, I wasn’t trying to…”_ Emily moved towards her, _“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to…”_

She’d fumbled to help her up. It was a kindness she hadn’t offered Noel months later.

 _“Stay away from me!”_ Courtney flung her fists out defensively. She was like a small animal trapped in the wild. She scooted back, her arms wrapped around her stomach. She was hugging herself tightly. Emily’s rejection cut her deeply, but she tried not to show it. She angrily lashed out. _“You’re a dangerous person.”_ She pulled back, like _she_ was the victim, like _she_ was in the right. _“Stay away from me.”_ She repeated. _“Stay away from my family.”_

Emily threw her arms up in frustration. She’d tried. She’d done her best.

 _“I’m done.”_ Emily had uttered, more for herself than for Courtney. _“I’m so done with you.”_

She’d turned on her heels and stormed away, leaving Courtney alone and shivering on the floor. The pain from the fall shooting up Courtney’s spine was a shock to her. She hadn’t expected Emily to _actually_ hurt her. She thought about what she’d done and she felt sick to her stomach. She tried to stand up, but felt dizzy. She fell against the lockers, trying to keep her balance. The room was spinning around her. This time when her stomach lurched she puked. She closed her eyes.

Emily hadn’t even bothered changing out of her bathing suit. She’d just put her clothes on over the top of it. She knew the ride to the gym would dry her out. She was meeting Isaac there for their boxing lessons. She’d hauled her gym bag out to her bike. She’d passed Nick on the way. He was in the parking lot puffing on a joint. He’d always been daring, even at school. He didn’t give a shit.

 _“Everything cool?”_ he’d asked.

 _No._ Emily had thought to herself.

 _“She won’t listen to me.”_ Emily glanced back towards the school.

_“You two really need to work your shit out.”_

_“I think North Korea and South Korea have a better chance at a peaceful resolution than we do.”_

_“Come on, Em.”_

Emily wanted to rage. She wanted to tell him that Courtney was completely psychotic. She wanted to tell him that his girlfriend had practically pinned her down and forced herself on her. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t tell him anything without outing herself.

She licked the split on the inside of her lip where Courtney had bitten her. She thought about how she’d left Courtney on her ass on the locker room floor. She was kicking herself for giving a crap about her. Her father had taught her to stand up to adversity while maintaining dignity and honor. He hadn’t exactly taught her how to handle a girl getting too handsy with her, though she got the feeling that if her dad got wind of anyone hurting his little girl he’d be going after them with a shotgun.

What Courtney had done was far from okay. She had crossed the line in so many ways. There was no coming back from it. Emily was done trying to play nice with her. She deserved a wake-up call.

Emily had no idea that she had given her that very wake-up call. She had stood on the precipice of hell and had stared the devil right in the face. And she told that devil she would not be taking her shit anymore. And she’d pushed Courtney back hard enough that it rattled her. She had taken something away from Courtney in that moment. She’d taken her power.

 _“I’ve tried, Nick. I really have. But we’re just too different.”_ She was a psycho and Emily was not.

She’d expected him to push her to try again. Instead, he quietly accepted her response.

 _“I get it. Some people just don’t jive,”_ he’d pinched his joint. He’d glanced at the doors. _“How long is she going to pout in there?”_

Emily shrugged. She’d said a rushed goodbye to him and hopped on her bike and tore out of the parking lot. Her hands had been shaking against the grips, and she could hear her pulse echoing in her helmet. She’d forced herself to take it slow, and to breathe. She’d focused on the road. She’d focused on the scenery. And by the time she got to the gym she was much calmer.

She’d gotten changed and then met Isaac at the boxing arena. He had lit up the second he’d seen her. It was staggering how kind his eyes were in comparison to his sister’s. They didn’t share any common qualities.

Isaac looked like his grandmother, his dad’s mom. Isaac’s parents were awful people, but Emily had met his grandparents and she really liked them. He was like a little clone of his grandmother, right down to the dark skin, high brow, tight jawline, and deep brown eyes. He was tall and stout. He carried himself with confidence, but not so much confidence that he looked arrogant. If anything, he was humble, and he was always exuding a boyish charm.

Courtney looked more like her mother’s side. Rigid stance. Pink bow-shaped lips. Honey-blonde hair. Heart-shaped face. And a terrible attitude.

 _“You’re right on time. We’re just getting ready to start!”_ He’d lifted the ropes to let Emily in the arena.

Boxing that afternoon had ended up being just the stress relief that she’d needed. They’d gotten about halfway through it when Isaac went to check the time on his phone. He saw something on his screen that alarmed him. He’d rushed out to make a call.

Emily had stopped throwing punches and had gone after him. By the time she caught up to him he was off the phone. He looked frazzled.

_“What’s up?”_

_“I’ve gotta go.”_ He’d fumbled with his phone. _“That was my mom. Courtney is in the hospital.”_

 _“Is she okay?”_ Emily’s eyes had widened. Had she actually hurt her that badly?

_“She passed out after practice. She’s fine though. Don’t worry about her…”_

Courtney was the last person in the world that Emily was going to waste time worrying about.

 _“_ … _she’s like a cockroach. She’ll survive anything.”_ He’d put his phone up. _“Nick left me a message that said you two had a fight.”_

 _“We did, but she was fine when I left her.”_ Mostly. She was conscious at the least, which was a lot better than she deserved.

 _“Apparently she told him that she was feeling faint after you two talked in the locker room. He found her unconscious.”_ He had a curious look on his face. _“Did you…”_ He’d hesitated. _“What exactly did you two talk about?”_

 _“Nothing.”_ Emily tried to think back to the altercation.

Had Courtney hit her head at some point? Had she slammed her into the lockers too hard? Had she smacked into something when she shoved her over the bench? Or was it all a fabrication? Was Courtney messing with her? Was she trying to make her look bad?

_“I just asked her if she was okay. Why?”_

_“I just thought…”_ His eyes flickered down to her wrist. She looked down and saw a purplish mark from where Courtney had grabbed her. Emily hadn’t even noticed it. His forehead crinkled in concern. _“Courtney can be a lot to handle sometimes. And I know she instigates things. She didn’t…she didn’t try to hurt you or anything, did she?”_

Emily bit the inside of her cheek so hard that she tasted blood. How did she tell Isaac about the terrible things his sister had done? The vile things she’d said?

All she could manage was a slight shake of her head.

 _“You know Courtney. She’s just…”_ Emily had trailed off.

Isaac nodded.

_“She’s Courtney.”_

_“Right.”_

_“I’ll give you a call later. Love you.”_ He’d kissed her. Her entire body had tensed, her lips stiff. He didn’t seem to notice.

He also didn’t notice that she didn’t say it back. He’d been in too big of a rush to get out of the gym. Emily went back to boxing. It centered her.

She didn’t realize it then, but that day was a catalyst for change. Things were different after that.

Nick had been distant for a while. She wasn’t sure what Courtney had told him, but whatever it was…he’d clearly taken her side. He was cordial and nice. And they still chatted outside their houses, but Emily could feel something shift in their dynamic.

Courtney had changed after that day, too. Emily wasn’t sure if it was because she’d fought back, but she knew she’d definitely scared her. She still spouted barbs at her every so often, but she kept her distance from the brunette.

That day in the locker room had been the breaking point. It had been the last time that Courtney had ever challenged her. Emily had never told anyone about their altercation, though she was aware that it was flat out assault. She had never seen Courtney snap in that way before, and she never did again.

A loud jolt and an exasperated, _“DAMN IT!”_ from Alison dropped her back into reality.

She looked over and saw Aria on top of Alison pinning her down. Her initial instinct was to jump in and help her girlfriend, but then she remembered it was only Aria. And they weren’t really fighting. Alison was safe. And she would see to it that she stayed safe.

Emily walked over to the side door, away from the crowd that had gathered. She scanned the spectators, looking for anyone who felt out of place. She didn’t see the familiar face hovering in the back.

She felt her stomach spasm. It was a steady rhythm, like little hiccups. She was fairly certain the baby was practicing her karate in utero.

“Easy,” she said quietly, gently touching her stomach. _Slow down, little one._ She thought to herself. She’d slowly been taking to talking to the baby. It felt weird, but also...satisfying.

She reached into her bag and grabbed a sports drink. She saw Caleb and waved. He walked over to her as she was putting her drink away and grabbing a towel to wipe away her sweat.

“Hey, I heard Alison was getting a beatdown.” Caleb grinned.

“She’s holding her own.” Emily watched as Aria ripped out of Alison’s grip and sucker-punched her. Not a real hit. Just a dramatic motion for show. “Kind of.”

Aria had a smarmy look on her face. Mike hooted out an encouraging, _“Yeah! That’s my sister!”_ It gave Toby an advantage to overtake Mike in their fight. They both bounced to the mat on the floor. The commotion distracted Alison. It gave Aria another chance to knock her over. Alison rolled over and sneered.

“She looks pissed.” Caleb laughed.

“Yeah, that probably has more to do with me. She doesn’t like it when Jake and I spar.”

“Truth be told I’m surprised to see you throwing punches.” Caleb glanced at the class. He was doing his best not to stare at her stomach. He didn’t want to draw any unwanted attention, though she was still hiding it well. Her sweats covered her for the most part.

“It’s one of the very few things I have left that keeps me from completely losing it.” Emily admitted. “Helps me feel a little more in control.”

“Still, you should be careful.” Caleb leaned against the wall. He rubbed the sweat away from his forehead with his forearm. “Not that I’m telling you what to do. I hate it when people do that. I’m just saying…with everything going on and you being…um…well…just watch yourself.”

“I appreciate the looking out.” Emily smiled. “This is really more for her than it is for me. I can’t be around 24/7. And I worry…”

“Hanna and I’ve got you covered.” He glanced at Alison. “She’ll be fine.”

“I think you and I both know that Hanna would shove Alison into oncoming traffic if she had the chance.” Emily shot Caleb a look.

“Nah. She wouldn’t want to risk getting blood splatter on her clothes. She’d go with something more subtle. _Game of Thrones_ ‘Queen of Thornes’ poison shit.”

It was a perfect picture in Emily’s mind. Hanna, decked out in medieval royalty-wear like Olenna Tyrell from _Game of Thrones._ She had the sass. She had the attitude. And she most definitely would go out guns blazing with her middle fingers up.

“I thought poison was more in your wheelhouse, coffee boy.” Emily teased. “I mean, you definitely don’t strike me as a fighter.”

“I can scrap if I need to. Don’t like to. But I can throw a decent punch.” Caleb reached down and rubbed a scar on his arm. “Had some really bad foster homes. I had this one foster mom who beat the holy hell out of me…”

Emily felt a twang of sympathy. She and Caleb hadn’t talked much about his personal life. He was guarded. He was a good guy, but he never spoke to anyone other than Hanna.

“I’m sorry.” She knew he’d been bounced around from foster home to foster home, but she didn’t know the details.

“When I was ten I had these two asshole foster brothers who threw a bag over my head and then shoved me down into a ravine and left me there for five hours. I learned to scrap after that.”

“That’s really shitty.”

“The world is shitty sometimes.” He had a stoic expression on his face, but Emily could see how he wore his past pain. She noticed a tiny crescent shaped scar near his temple. “I guess I don’t need to tell you that though. I mean, I had it rough sometimes, but I never had a giant chainsaw aimed at me.” He pulled out his phone and looked around to make sure no one was listening. “I got the latest message…the one you forwarded to me.”

“Did anything come of it?” Emily asked hopefully.

“I tried to trace it, but I keep running into the same problem. Every single message is coded differently. They’re all coming from different sources, which doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know if they’re using different radio signals or burner phones or if they’ve written some kind of program or what. This is more than some kid with a spoof account. This is someone who knows what they’re doing.”

“So more than likely not Wilden. He couldn’t even teach basic economics.”

“Wilden, the twins, Noel…none of them have interacted at all according to the bugs I’ve planted. And as far as I can tell they stick to certain routines. Doesn’t mean they’re not involved. But they can’t be the person sending these messages.” Caleb glanced at his phone.

“And what about Courtney?”

“Never did get access on her.”

He saw a look of defeat on her face.

“Hey, we’re going to figure it out. And you and Alison can ride off into the sunset on her dragons or whatever.” He put his hand against her shoulder.

“Where is all this _Game of Thrones_ talk coming from? You don’t even like that show.”

“Hanna is making me watch it.”

“Hanna makes you do a lot of stuff.”

“I love her, crazy as she is.”

“That’s sweet.” Emily smiled. “But we’re going to pocket that for a minute and talk about how you just compared my girlfriend to a character who went batshit crazy and killed a bunch of people.”

“I mean…they’re both blonde and they both could survive the firepits of hell.” Caleb flashed a cheeky grin at her. “And let’s be honest…she could _totally_ flip a switch and kill a bunch of people. Especially if those people were standing between you and her.”

They heard a ‘thud’ against the mat and looked over and saw that Aria was at it again. Spencer and Mona laughed from across the room. Toby and Mike looked over at the confrontation. They had stopped sparring and were horseplaying, but they stopped to watch the girls.

Everyone was getting a lot of amusement in watching Aria kick Alison’s ass. They got back up and got into position again. Aria quickly gained the upper hand.

“Alison, you need to disengage,” Jake said.

“Disengage my ass.” Alison uttered under her breath.

Jake chose to ignore her hostility. He kept teaching.

“Step forward and pivot your foot.”

Alison followed his instructions and slid out of Aria’s headlock. She had a cocky look of pride on her face.

“Very good, but you need to make sure to…” Before he could finish, Aria had pulled Alison backwards on to the mat and pinned her, “…disengage.” Jake finished his statement.

“You give?” Aria asked, still holding her.

“Yeah,” Alison slapped the mat, her tone bordering on annoyance. “I give.”

Aria let her go and bounced to her feet. She reached down to help Alison up, extending her hand to help her up. Alison stared at her hand for a minute. She wasn’t sure what to make of the gesture. Her pride was wounded. She was irritated that Emily was making her do this. But at the same time, she understood Emily’s concerns.

Alison took Aria’s hand. The petite girl helped her up. Mike and Toby walked over towards them. Toby kept walking, but Mike stopped and jabbed a playful fist into his sister’s shoulder.

“Kind of nice to see you using someone else as your punching bag for once. Wish you’d go that easy on me.” Mike gave his big sister a crooked grin.

“ _That_ was you going easy on me?” Alison scoffed. Of fucking course it was. That made it even more humiliating.

“Wait until you see what she can do with nunchucks.” Mike teased.

“Ignore him.” Aria rolled her eyes. “He was dropped on his head as a baby.”

“I wasn’t dropped.” Mike countered. “She body slammed me into the ground. Spiked me like a football.”

Toby walked past the crowd of spectators and over to Emily and Caleb. His bag was underneath the bench. He pulled it out and grabbed a drink. He glanced at the group of people watching.

“If I had known this was going to draw this much of a crowd I would have sold tickets.” Toby chuckled.

“I would have bought at least a dozen to hand out to the debate team.” Spencer walked up behind him.

Toby turned around and saw her. He beamed from ear to ear. Emily had noticed that they were talking a lot more the past few weeks. They’d bonded after the dance. She had no idea what they had in common, but she also knew that opposites attracted. Toby had been a lot more upbeat during his work shifts. Emily suspected that Spencer had something to do with it. She’d casually asked him one day what they talked about. He’d just had a stupid grin on his face and answered with one word.

_“Scrabble.”_

She watched the two of them flirting. She glanced at Caleb. He had a subtle smirk on his face. He saw their interaction, too. It was hard to miss. Toby chuckled nervously and ran his fingers through his hair as Spencer talked about how good his moves were.

“You should come see how the other half lives.” Spencer suggested. “My family and I are having dinner at the club.”

“Oof, they use the fancy silverware there, don’t they?”

“Don’t worry.” She pat his hand. “I’ll be there to tell you which fork to stab yourself with.”

Aria came bouncing up behind them. She was still jazzed from the class. She had her car keys in her hands.

“Hey, Spence, thanks again for hauling the brat home.”

“I am perfectly capable of driving myself.” Mike walked up behind his sister and reached for the keys.

She softly socked him in the stomach.

“Did you learn nothing out on that mat?” Aria dropped the keys into Spencer’s hands. “You’re not touching my car. You ran four stop signs and two red lights and almost hit a bicyclist when you drove last weekend.”

“She’s right. You’re a menace, Mike Montgomery.” Mona handed Mike a towel.

Mike just grinned at her like a big dopey dog.

Emily looked around at her friends. She felt very lucky to have them in her life. It was getting harder to hide everything from them. At the very least she owed them the truth about the messages she was getting. But just as she was on the cusp of bringing it up, her phone buzzed.

It was a glaring reminder of why she hadn’t said anything to them yet.

**_Leave them in the dark or I’ll knock their lights out. Permanently._ **

Emily looked around the small crowd, her eyes darting to search every single face. But the person she was looking for was already gone.

Caleb’s eyes scanned the phone in her hand. He knew. Emily shook her head. She didn’t want whoever was watching to know that he knew. Caleb took the hint.

“I’ll catch you guys later. I’ve got a few more reps to do.” He glanced at Emily, letting her know that they’d talk later.

Aria picked up on Emily’s strange vibe.

“Everything okay?” Aria asked, her intuition nagging her.

“She’s probably just salty that you beat the crap out of her girlfriend.” Mike grinned.

 _And Mike for the save._ Emily thought to herself.

“It wasn’t easy to watch.” Emily laughed. “I’m a bit protective of her, you know…”

“Oh, I know. The entire school knows you’d dive in front of a chainsaw for her.” Aria smiled. The topic shifted, thankfully. “Sorry I beat up your girlfriend.”

“It’s all part of it.” Emily shrugged.

“Hey, Toby, you got those History notes?” Mike asked.

“Yeah. They’re at the front desk. Give me a minute and I’ll meet you there.”

“Sweet.” He bounded towards the lobby.

Spencer and Aria had drifted a few feet away, talking about something Emily couldn’t hear. Probably boy-related things.

“Hey, you’re closing tonight, right?” Toby asked.

“Yeah.” Emily slid her phone into her bag.

He glanced at Spencer. She flipped her hair and smiled over her shoulder at him.

“You mind if I take off a little early?” he asked.

“Not at all. Go for it, lover boy.” She poked him in the ribs. “Guess you got over your crush on me.”

“It’s good we can joke about this.” He shook his head with a sheepish laugh. He still couldn’t believe he’d asked out his childhood friend in such a dorky way. His _gay_ childhood friend.

“Of course. I’ll just have to accept that I was that easily replaceable.”

“Hey now.” Toby frowned, though his tone indicated that he was still joking. “I’ll always pick you first…” He clapped her shoulder and grinned, “…in basketball.”

“Get out of here.” Emily snickered.

“You sure you’ll be okay closing?”

“Yeah. Ezra will be in his office. You know it’s book club night. That’s why Spencer is driving Mike home.”

“Right.” He clenched his teeth. “Guess that buys me some time to learn how to speak ‘Upper Class’. Her parents are _super_ WASPy. I’m so out of my element.”

“Just talk about tennis and golf.” She made a face. Emily had never understood golf. It was the dullest sport in existence.

“Thanks, that’s helpful,” he said sarcastically.

“Mention hedge funds.”

“Maybe I should make quips about Sonic the Hedge-Fund.”

“You most assuredly should not.” Emily snorted.

“I’m already screwing this up.” He rubbed his face.

“Relax, you got this.”

They watched as the crowd slowly dispersed. Spencer, Mike, and Mona took off. Aria retreated to a quiet corner to read a book. Ezra disappeared into his office to finish up some bookkeeping. Emily went back to work, Alison trailing behind her.

There were only a few people still hanging around. Caleb and Noel were on opposite sides of the weight room working out. Every so often Caleb glanced at Noel. He was keeping an eye on him.

His eyes started to wander when Hanna came by wearing a flashy red top and jeans that hugged her figure. Caleb told the girls goodbye and then they took off.

“I swear teenage boys have the attention span of a gnat.” Alison watched them leave. She was sitting on the front desk.

“To be fair, I catch you looking at my chest thirty times a day.”

“Thirty is an understatement. It’s at least fifty.” Though half the time Alison was actually looking lower than her chest. She knew every growing inch of Emily’s body.

She stayed with Emily until her shift ended. She waited at the front desk when Emily went to check in with Ezra before she left. He was chatting with Aria in his office. She saw a copy of _To Kill a Mockingbird_ on Ezra’s desk.

They said goodnight and then she went to close everything down. She went to check the locker rooms. Everything looked like it was in order.

It was quiet. Normally, she appreciated the quiet, but something about it was eerie. The automatic lights flickered and then went off. Emily wasn’t afraid of the dark, but she felt a panic rising in her chest about the text she’d gotten earlier.

**_Leave them in the dark or I’ll knock their lights out. Permanently._ **

All she could think about was the exploding light months ago.

“Alison…” She uttered under her breath as she dashed out of the room.

She rushed back to her girlfriend, who was still sitting on the front desk, completely unbothered. She was on her phone.

“Hey, you ready?” Alison hopped down. Her muscles were sore from the workout. She didn’t know how Emily did it.

“Uh…” Emily looked around, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. “Yeah.”

Alison saw the frazzled look on her face.

“What is it?” Alison asked.

“Nothing.” The room suddenly felt too small. She was starting to feel faint. She’d never been claustrophobic before. “Let’s get out of here.”

She thought that getting out into the fresh air would help. As soon as they walked outside she started to feel the tightness in her chest dissipating. The cold nipped at her face in the best way.

“Are you okay?” Alison frowned. “You look kind of pale.”

“I’m fine.” Emily smiled, taking her hand.

Their hands swayed between them, their fingers clasped together. They walked along the sidewalk stretching in front of the gym. Emily had parked on the side of the building where the employee entrance was located. The floodlights were casting elongated shadows of the two of them as they walked together.

“How are you feeling?” Emily asked.

“Sore. No one ever told me that MMA stood for _Mixed Martial Aria._ ”

“You did great out there.”

“A hobbit kicked my ass. We must never speak of it again.” Alison frowned.

“Look, I wouldn’t be pushing this on you if I didn’t think it was necessary.” She put her hand on the small of Alison’s back.

“I know. I get that.” Alison bumped into her. “But do you _have_ to use yourself as the test dummy?”

“Everything about it is controlled. Every move is planned.”

“You really should be more careful. I know you love boxing, but Em…it’s getting to a point where you need to slow down.”

“Hey, I did better than you did.” Emily teased her.

“Harsh.” Alison playfully shoved her. “You think you’re so big and bad…”

“You do realize that I could pin you in two seconds flat, right?” Emily lifted her brows.

“Maybe I _want_ you to pin me.” Alison pushed her again. “What’cha gonna do about it, Hell’s Angel?”

She grinned and took a step back, wavering around several orange cones that had been put up to warn pedestrians about the construction.

Emily cocked her head. She didn’t remember the cones being there when she parked her parent’s car. They felt oddly out of place. She saw Alison’s uneven footsteps.

“Watch your step…” Just as the warning came out of her mouth there was a loud clatter from the scaffolding above them from where the building was being painted.

Alison and Emily looked up and saw several items toppling over the edge. Alison’s eyes widened. She made a loud squeaking noise and tried to take a step forward, but she overcorrected her footing and tripped over the uneven pavement. Her foot twisted in the opposite direction of her ankle, rolling it underneath her. She hit the ground just as a hammer and an empty paint can smashed into the pavement next to her. The lid from the paint can popped off and cut through the air. She threw her arms up to try and protect her face, but it hit her beneath her temple, leaving a thin gash on her cheek. She blinked in a daze, the pain stinging her eye.

Emily rushed to her side. She heard movement above them again. She looked up, knowing there was no time to waste. She yanked Alison off of the pavement. Something snapped above them and a piece of scaffolding careened towards them. Emily pushed Alison forward, shoving her against the brick building, covering the blonde’s body with her own. Alison saw Emily cinch her eyes shut, preparing for the worst. But she couldn’t register what was happening. She was in shock.

The crash echoed into the air. The scaffolding narrowly missed them by inches.

Emily’s sweaty body was pressed against Alison’s. They were both breathing heavily. Alison could feel the baby against her stomach. And she could feel Emily’s heart pounding rapidly against her ribcage.

The adrenaline slowly wore off and she suddenly felt the pain. Her ankle was throbbing. She reached up and touched the cut on her face. When she drew back and saw blood on her fingertips she started trembling. She wasn’t sure why the sight of blood was frightening to her. She’d been hurt before. It wasn’t a big deal…except her brain hadn’t gotten that memo. She could hear her loud harsh wheezing breaths echoing in the air and all she could think was _“Is that me?”_

“Hey, you’re okay.” Emily glanced up. The movement above them had stopped. She looked at Alison again. “It’s okay. Ali, look at me…” Alison blinked and peered into Emily’s eyes. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

Emily reached up and touched the cut on her cheek. They heard a noise from behind them. Emily spun around, whipping her arm out in front of Alison protectively.

She saw Noel on the corner of the street. He was staring at them, but Emily couldn’t make out the look on his face. He started to take a step forward, but then hesitated and pulled back. He turned around and walked away.

Emily had no idea what his intentions had been. He seemed stunned. And it wasn’t out of character for him to avoid them, so it’s possible he could have misinterpreted what they were doing in the shadows. Then again, how had he not heard the loud clatter?

A lot of things were possible.

Emily looked around to see if there was anyone else around. She didn’t see anyone, but she swore she could smell the faintest odor of chlorine and vanilla. When her brain was on overdrive it seemed to waken her senses, and her senses always sent her careening back to San Antonio.

She turned to face Alison again.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Alison managed to huff out. “Yeah, I think so. But…I twisted my ankle. It kind of hurts.”

Emily wrapped her arm around the small of Alison’s back, and before the blonde could protest she picked her up, slinging her legs over her over arm. Alison automatically wrapped her arms around the back of Emily’s neck, but she grimaced.

“Emily, no…it’s too much weight. The baby…” But by the time she was finished scolding her they were back inside the gym.

Ezra and Aria were racing towards the door. They’d heard the commotion.

“What the hell happened?” Ezra’s eyes were huge.

“The scaffolding came down. She’s okay. I just need to clean her cheek and wrap her ankle.”

“No, you need to put _her_ down.” Alison squirmed in her arms until Emily was forced to stop and set her down.

It took all of Alison’s self-control not to reach out and touch her belly to check on the baby. Emily gave her a look to let her know she was fine.

Alison put a little bit of pressure on her ankle. It wasn’t as bad as she initially thought. But she had a significant limp.

“I’ll get the first aid kit.” Ezra rushed off.

“The scaffolding fell on you guys?” Aria marveled.

“Not _on_ us. We’d be roadkill if that was the case.” Alison limped over towards a bench, Emily giving her support the whole way.

“Wow. First the chainsaw. Now this. I’m starting to think someone has a hit out on you.” Aria grimaced.

She had no idea how close she was to the truth. Emily and Alison exchanged looks.

“Hey, Ar…can you see if you can find some ice?” Emily leaned down to observe Alison’s ankle. It was swollen, but there wasn’t a lot of bruising. It didn’t look broken.

“Sure.” Aria rushed off, leaving the two of them alone.

“It’s getting worse,” Alison whispered.

Emily knew she wasn’t talking about her ankle.

“I know.”

“Who is doing this to us?” Her voice was strained.

“I don’t know.”

They didn’t say anything else. They didn’t want to risk Aria and Ezra finding out. Ezra came back with the first aid kit. Alison faked a laugh and talked about how clumsy she was. Ezra bought it, but he had a very stern look on his face as he talked about calling to chew out the painting crew. He walked off to make the call.

Emily silently treated Alison’s cuts and bruises and then wrapped her ankle. When she was finished she sat down beside her. She didn’t say anything. She just reached for her hand.

She pulled Alison in for a hug and the blonde automatically laid her head against Emily’s chest. Emily could feel her trembling. She kissed the top of her head to try and soothe her nerves. Then she laid her chin against her head.

She felt a flood of emotions. She was upset. Relieved. Angry. Her eyes started burning. She managed to hide the tears from Alison. She kept her chin against Alison’s head as the droplets rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t stand the idea of something happening to Alison. She had never felt helpless before. She hated it.

 _I could have lost her_. She’d watched everything happen in slow motion. She’d seen the look of terror on Alison’s face. The look in her eyes was that of someone who thought they were going to die. And she almost had.

She could still feel Alison shivering. It ignited a fire inside of the brunette. The sick son of a bitch had tried to kill her.

She wasn’t going to stand for it. She refused to be intimidated. She refused to be backed against the lockers with a psychopath at the helm again. But she didn’t know how much longer she could protect her. How was she supposed to keep Alison safe when she didn’t know who was the one posing the danger?

* * *

**A/N:** _Here’s to hoping the Montgomery rivalry (“Wait until you see what she can do with nunchucks” was a favorite to write. You’re a menace indeed, Mike Montgomery), the Spoby breadcrumbs (“Don’t worry. I’ll be there to tell you which fork to stab yourself with” felt like such a Spencer line), and the Caleb/Emily friendship made up for an otherwise dark AF chapter. I know the Courtney stuff was intense. Getting into that mindset was tricky. I hope that I was able to showcase the complexities of her psychopathic nature. Now I know how Sara Shepard felt writing Book-Alison. Tough stuff._


	15. Liars Remorse

* * *

**Chapter 15:**

**Liars Remorse**

The first thing Emily planned to do after the scaffolding incident was make an appointment with her OB to make sure that everything was still okay with the baby. She knew that high levels of stress weren’t good for her pregnancy. Her back was a bit strained from carrying Alison. She hadn’t been thinking at the time. All she’d been able to focus on was getting her to safety.

Once the adrenaline wore off and her emotions settled down the gravity of the situation had hit her hard. They’d both been quiet on the drive home. Alison’s parents were home, but Emily still walked her to the door just to make sure she got there safely. Alison was already walking on her ankle better. Emily had done a really good job doctoring her up.

They stood on her porch for several seconds, facing one another with their hands linked between them, their fingers laced together.

Emily reached up and touched the cut on Alison’s cheek. It didn’t look like it was going to scar. It was superficial. It didn’t quell Emily’s rage at all. Someone had tried to hurt one of the most precious things in her life. The psychopath coming after her was one thing, but her loved ones were off-limits. As soon as she found out who was responsible she was going to unleash holy hell on them.

Alison could feel Emily trembling in anger. The normally sassy blonde was quiet. She was lost in thought. Emily had saved her life. _Again_. And she’d risked her life to do it.

“Thank you.” Alison kissed her. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“Always.” Emily squeezed her hand.

Alison slowly moved her palm over Emily’s stomach.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Alison questioned.

Emily smiled and put her hand on top of Alison’s, holding it in place. She wanted the baby to know how much she was already loved. She wanted her to feel everything.

“Yeah.”

She’d never dreamed that being pregnant would open up her emotions in so many different ways. The bond that Alison had with the baby made the pull of their attraction feel so much stronger. She’d never felt anything like it before. It made her yearn for a future she wasn’t sure she would ever have. How could she hope to give her child a normal life? And how would it be fair to Alison to stand in the way of her future? Babies were a lot of work. Alison deserved to experience life without being tied down.

She knew that Alison would give up everything in a heartbeat for her. But she also knew that Alison was still viewing things from an idealistic standpoint. Emily wasn’t sure the blonde understood the sacrifices that came with having a child. Emily wasn’t sure she herself understood everything it entailed.

She did know that Alison cared. Deeply. And she wanted desperately for that to be enough, but she knew it was more complex than simply deciding to keep the baby.

“Em…” Alison’s voice drew her out of her thoughts. When Emily looked at her she saw a timid expression on her face. She considered something carefully. “You have to put yourself first. You can’t keep risking your life…or hers…for me. You just…can’t.”

“I…” Emily knew she was right, but how was she supposed to explain to the blonde that it wasn’t something she could control? “I just acted on instinct.”

Alison sighed. She knew it wasn’t going to change. Emily was protective down to her very core. And Alison loved her for it. But it scared her, too. The brunette was one of the most determined people she’d ever met. She would put her life on the line for her family. Every time.

 _My girls._ Alison thought to herself as she slipped her hand up Emily’s shirt so she could feel the bare skin of her stomach. She’d been hoping to catch the baby mid-kick, but the little bean was still.

“We’re lucky to have you.” Alison smiled.

Emily felt something in that moment, like an invisible link between them that could never be severed. Alison’s hand felt warm against her body. Their eyes locked.

Their goodnight kiss had a quiet passion in it. She cupped Alison’s uninjured cheek and kissed her forehead before they broke away.

Those few fleeting moments on the porch had given them a sense of normalcy that they both desperately needed. It was a fraction of time that made them feel like everything was going to be okay.

Emily made sure she was safely inside the house before she walked away. She pulled her phone out and looked at the message from the unknown number, not just threatening her, but threatening everyone around her.

**_Leave them in the dark or I’ll knock their lights out. Permanently._ **

Emily huffed angrily, blowing a heated breath out of her nose. The mist from her body heat dissipated into the cold air. She swiped furiously against the keypad.

**_This is between you and me. If you hurt her again I’ll fucking destroy you._ **

She didn’t expect an immediate reply, but she got one.

**_Watch your language, Mama Bear. Wouldn’t want to be a bad influence on your baby girl._ **

It only infuriated Emily more. How the hell did this person know intimate things about her? The only people who knew the sex of the baby were her parents, the doctor, and Alison.

Emily quietly slipped into her house. She assumed her mother would be in bed, but she was sitting on the couch. She was in her pajamas with her feet underneath her, engrossed in a book. She read a lot when Wayne was away.

Emily was surprised she was still up, but she was dutifully waiting on her daughter to make it home safe, just like her father would be if he wasn’t at work. The second she saw Emily step into the foyer she put a bookmark in the novel and put it down.

Normally Emily didn’t like it when her mother was overbearing. But something had shifted inside of her since she learned she was going to have a baby. She was starting to see…to _understand_ motherhood in different ways.

When she thought they were going to be crushed to death outside the gym the first thought she’d had wasn’t about herself. It was about her child. She’d realized on the drive home that her mother felt like that every time she walked out the door. She agonized until she knew her daughter was safe.

“Hey.” Emily put the car keys down in the bowl next to the door. “I thought you’d be in bed.”

“You know me. I find a good book and lose track of the days.” She uncurled her legs. “The house has been a little lonely with your father working these long hours.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“Yeah. He’ll be on base until Tuesday. Then he’ll be home for a few days.” She rose to her feet. She reached for a tumbler full of an icy beverage.

“It’ll be nice to have him home.” Emily yawned and then nodded mindlessly.

Things were easier when her dad was home. They functioned better as a family, though that hadn’t always been the case. Her father had been overseas for a good chunk of her childhood. Emily had loved snuggling with her mom when she was a little girl. When she was sad and she missed her daddy the only thing that could make her feel better was crawling into bed with her mother and wrapping her tiny arms around her neck.

She often wondered what that might be like with her own little girl.

She imagined her mother had needed it as much as she did. She never would have thought that such a large wedge would drive them apart. It had started with snippy little righteous comments. Emily would see two men or two women holding hands and her mother would scoff to herself and talk about how it was perverse and confusing to children. Emily remembered feeling self-conscious, but she didn’t understand why until she’d gotten a little older and she realized that she was someone that her mother disapproved of.

Her mother was never outwardly ugly to anyone, but she had a nasty judgmental streak. A lot of it was her religious beliefs. She wasn’t a hateful person. In fact, she was always the first person in the neighborhood to bake a pie for a neighbor having a hard time or putting together gift baskets for the new families in town.

Emily knew that her mother was more than the sum of her thoughts. She knew she had a good heart. Her ideals were just a little misguided. She was a complicated person, but Emily could tell she was putting the effort in to try and change.

Pam swirled the ice in her cup around. She started walking towards the kitchen. She paused when she got to where Emily was standing. She glanced at the car keys.

“Thanks for letting me borrow the car tonight. It was too cold for my bike.”

“Any time that I can get you off of that death machine is a win in my book. You can borrow the car whenever you want.”

“It’s not…” She didn’t have it in her to squabble, not after the night she’d had. She shook her head and pressed her fingers against her cheekbone. “Never mind…”

Her mother could see that she looked a little haggard. Her lips curled into a frown.

“Everything okay?”

“Just tired.” Emily forced a smile on her face. “Long day at work.”

Pam nodded in understanding.

“You should probably get off of your feet.” She clinked her ice against the hard metal tumbler again.

The noise sounded much louder than it actually was. Emily had a flash to the construction site. She flinched. Her mother didn’t miss it. She scrutinized her daughter’s face.

“You sure you’re feeling alright? You look a little peaked. Are you taking your vitamins?” She reached up and pressed the backs of her knuckles against Emily’s cheek.

“Mom, I’m fine.” She ducked away uncomfortably.

Pam sighed and took a step back, trying to give Emily her space. They glanced at one another. Emily could see a sad look in her eyes. She realized she was being bratty, so she tried to smile at her mother. She hadn’t been trying to hurt her feelings or push her away. She was just on edge. Sometimes it was easier to push her away than it was to tell her the truth. Telling the truth didn’t always work out in her favor, especially not when it came to her mom.

Tense lines of concern formed on her mother’s face. She opened her mouth to say something, but then pressed her lips together and hesitated.

“I think you’re right. I think I just need to go lay down.” Emily tried to resolve the awkward tension.

“Of course.” Pam smiled.

Emily could tell that her smile was masking something deeper. A quiet kind of rejection and hurt that she was too proud to admit.

“Night, mom.”

“Good night, sweetie.” She turned on her heels, but paused. She glanced at Emily, unable to leave without reaching out. She mindlessly looked down at the cup in her hand before facing Emily again. “You know you can still talk to me.”

“I know.” Emily’s throat tensed up.

She _wanted_ to talk to her. That’s all she’d ever wanted. But she couldn’t. Things between them felt so broken. And the cyberbullying certainly wasn’t helping matters. It’s not something she could just bring up in a conversation with her parents.

“I just…I wish you’d let me in, Emmy.” She put her hand against the wooden panel of the open doorway that led into the kitchen. “I never meant to push you away.”

She knew that Emily was a teenager, and that teenagers innately didn’t like talking to their parents. But Pam knew she’d made it worse. She knew she’d hurt her daughter. And she didn’t know how to fix it.

She shot her a solemn look before disappearing to refill her glass.

Emily gritted her teeth in frustration. She was lying to her parents again. And she hated it. Especially now that she was getting a taste of a maternal instinct herself. She could understand her mother’s concerns.

She laid in bed that night gently rubbing her stomach and practicing deep breathing. She’d researched Lamaze classes, but she didn’t want to start going to them yet. She didn’t want to risk anyone in town seeing her. So she’d looked up relaxation videos and breathing videos online. She’d been doing her research over the past several weeks. She was trying to do everything she could to make sure her pregnancy went smoothly.

As she sat in the quiet stillness of her room and felt the warmth radiating underneath her hand she felt an urge that she couldn’t ignore. It was almost as if her baby was calling out to her.

“I hope you’re okay in there,” Emily said quietly. “I don’t know if you can hear me yet. The doctor says your little ears are still developing.” She slowed her motions, pushing her shirt up to look at her belly. “Maybe you can pick up on vibes. I hope you can. Because I want you to know that you’re safe. I know tonight was intense. I know it seems like a big scary world out here. But it’s not all bad.”

She exhaled slowly and rubbed a gentle circle against her expanding stomach.

“I promise that things won’t always be like this. I promise I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I know you’re strong. You come from a long line of fighters.”

She smiled. She thought about all the baby pictures she’d seen of herself, and of all the baby pictures she’d seen of Isaac.

“I think about you all the time. What you’re going to look like. What you’re going to do in life. Your smile. Your eyes. Your laugh. Your attitude…” She laughed. “Man, I know I’m screwed in that department. Your mom has a super bitchy attitude sometimes. I hope you get some of my better qualities. I think you’ll probably be a daring little explorer.”

It was impossible to imagine her child as anything other than inquisitive and sharp. She had, of course, been spending _all_ of her time with two daring girls.

“Whatever you decide in life, I want you to know you can be whoever you want to be. You can love whoever you want to love. I promise I will never stand in the way of your happiness.”

She felt a flutter of movement. Her reaction was a mixture of joy and intrigue. She still couldn’t believe that she had a baby growing inside of her.

“Wow. This is so weird.” She muttered to herself. She smiled as the movement grew stronger. “You’re an active little bug, aren’t you?”

Or maybe what had happened outside the gym had upset her. Maybe she was picking up on her mother’s tension.

“No matter what, just know that I’ll always protect you.” She glanced down. “Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

She heard the floor creaking in the hallway and the sound of approaching footsteps. Seconds later her mother appeared in her doorway. She was holding a small plate that had a soup bowl on it.

“I heated you up some soup.” She looked worried.

“Oh.” Emily glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. “It’s kind of late.”

“It’s never too late for a mother to be there for her daughter.” She placed the cup and saucer down next to Emily’s bed. “I didn’t mean to intrude. I heard you talking, but I wasn’t sure if you were on the phone or…”

“I…” Emily suddenly felt self-conscious. “I was talking to the baby.”

She expected the same stony look she’d come to expect from her mother when she talked about the baby or her sexuality. Her mother had the same expression every time she was uncomfortable.

Instead…she smiled, her eyes getting a strange faraway look in them. There was a spark in them.

“Your father and I used to talk to you all the time.”

“Really?” Though she wasn’t surprised to hear it. It sounded like something they’d do. “There is no doubt in my mind that you could hear us.” She chuckled. “Your father…he used to touch my belly and croon Elvis Presley. He got _really_ into it. Made a dramatic show out of it. You know him…”

Emily laughed. She’d seen her dad get theatrical before. She could only imagine how ridiculous he’d been when her mother was pregnant.

“Alison sings to her sometimes. It’s really kind of sweet.”

The stony face appeared. Pam tried to turn away to hide it, but Emily caught a glimpse of it. The judgment always hurt. She knew it wasn’t something her mother was maliciously doing. It was just an instinctual reaction. And she had a shitty poker face.

Her mother smiled uncomfortably. Emily could sense she wanted to say something, but she held her tongue.

Emily frowned, pressing her lips together.

“Why does it bother you so much that I’m gay?”

The directness of the question seemed to cut through her mother. She looked conflicted. She nervously started wringing her hands together. Emily used to see her do it in church when she was little, long before Emily had stopped going. She saw her do it again the night she came out to her. The tic was unmistakable.

“Honey…” Her voice trembled. It was clearly a topic that was difficult for her. “Emily, I know I didn’t handle any of this well.” Her face pinched together in uneasiness. “I still don’t understand, but I love you. And I’m trying…I’m trying to find that balance between the beliefs that I’ve had my whole life and who you are as a person. All I know is that you’re my daughter. And I love you. I’m trying to understand. I really am.”

“There’s nothing to understand. It’s just who I am. You…” Emily paused and she glanced at her stomach. “You’re the one who taught me that God doesn’t make mistakes. So why do you think I am one?”

Her mother seemed completely taken aback. She furrowed her brow, a mixed look of heartbreak and shock on her face. She took a thoughtful breath. She put her hand on Emily’s cheek. It surprised her when Emily flinched. Had she really pushed her daughter _that_ far away?

“I have never _once_ thought that you are a mistake. You’re not a mistake, Emmy. You’re a miracle. I know that we don’t always see eye to eye, but you’re my child…my baby. And I will _always_ love you.”

Emily didn’t realize how much she’d needed to hear it. She felt tears burning her eyes. She reached up and put her hand on her mother’s wrist.

After a few seconds her mother lowered her hand. Emily discreetly reached up and rubbed her knuckles underneath her eyes to wipe away the tears before they appeared.

“Purple hair and all?” Emily asked jokingly.

Her mother ran her fingers through Emily’s hair with a disapproving look on her face.

“I still maintain that you look like a troll doll.” She teased.

“I thought those things had pink hair.”

“They come in all colors. My sister used to collect them.”

“Your sister is weird.”

They both laughed. Her mother rubbed her arm.

“I’ll um…I’m going to go to bed. You should get some rest, too.” She smiled at her and then turned to walk out of the room.

“Mom?” Emily called after her.

“Yeah, sweetie?” She turned to face her.

Pam noticed a strange look of vulnerability on her daughter’s face. She had known her bright eyes since the moment she met her in the hospital. She’d known her before she was even born. She knew her daughter inside and out. And somehow, she knew exactly what Emily was about to ask her.

“Were you scared?” Emily swallowed hard. “When you were pregnant with me…were you scared?”

Her mom moved back towards her. She sat down on the edge of the bed. She put her hand on top of Emily’s, curling her fingers into Emily’s palm. She rubbed her thumb against her wrist.

“I was absolutely terrified,” she said.

It was the very reason she had been so concerned about Emily’s pregnancy. She knew the emotional toll it took, and she knew that her hormones were already all over the place.

“I worried I wouldn’t be good enough. I was afraid I would fail you and that I would do everything wrong. I was worried that people would judge me or that I would break you in some way.”

Sometimes she wondered if she _had_ failed her…if she _had_ broken her. She wondered how much her parenting mistakes had hurt her baby girl.

“I was absolutely terrified that something would happen to you. And that fear…it never goes away.” She timidly squeezed Emily’s hand. “You worry about your child no matter how old they are. But children are strong. And resilient. You certainly are.”

She rubbed Emily’s hand. There was a light in her eyes as she spoke,

“I have watched you take on this world with a strong sense of fearlessness that I _know_ you didn’t get from me. You were such an inquisitive little girl. And you weren’t afraid of anything, not even of getting hurt. It doesn’t matter if you fell down a hundred times. Because you got up one hundred and one.”

Emily thought about all the memories her mother had of her growing up…all the milestones she had seen. And it made her wonder about her daughter. What kind of memories would she miss if she couldn’t keep her?

She teetered between the world of fantasy and reality when it came to the baby. She wanted to make a perfect life for her, but she knew that logically the best choice might be to give her up for a better life. But then she thought about everything she’d miss, and her heart just couldn’t take it.

Would she be there to see her first steps? Would she obsess over her sweet little voice making cooing sounds and babbling in baby speak? Would she hear her first word? Would she feel her pudgy little hand in hers when they crossed the street? Would she melt every time she heard her laugh? Would she hear the delight in her voice when she sounded out a word and read for the first time? Would she feel her tiny fingers tighten around her hand on her first day of kindergarten?

Was she willing to give all of that up?

She had so many doubts plaguing her mind. She asked her mom a few more questions before they both called it a night. It had calmed Emily’s racing thoughts.

She felt even better after she went to the doctor two days later and found out that everything looked good and that she was right on track. Her baby hadn’t been affected at all by the scary night they’d had outside the gym.

But it wasn’t the dangers of the outside world that kept Emily up at night. It was an internal battle she was fighting with herself. What flooded her mind during the bouts of insomnia was the scary thought that she wouldn’t be enough for her baby. What scared her the most wasn’t what was going to happen during her pregnancy. It was what would happen after it.

* * *

The days flew by. The passing hours sometimes made Emily long for time to slow down so she could be present in the moment. She’d been losing focus in school, but fortunately, the holidays offered her a break.

A week before Christmas break Alison decided to have a party at her place while her parents were out of town. It was mostly in response to Noel Kahn’s annual holiday bash. She was certain that she could out-party him. She was selective about the guest list. She only invited certain people from school, though she knew there would inevitably be some party-crashers.

She already knew that her brother and his friends would be mingling in the crowd. They loved a good party. They would absolutely be bringing alcohol, which Alison wasn’t going to say ‘no’ to. She knew that everyone in town knew she threw the most epic parties. She liked to try and outdo Noel’s parties…just to spite him.

Unlike her previous parties, she went out of her way to invite people she never would have associated with before Emily wormed her way into her heart. In fact, their little group of friends were the first people she invited. They were less than receptive, because they’d all been burned by Alison before.

“I think I’m having dental surgery that day.” Hanna glanced at her manicure, a cool unbothered expression on her face.

“You don’t even know when it is yet.” Alison pushed back.

“When is it?”

“This Saturday.”

“That’s when my root canal is. Sorry.” Hanna shrugged.

“Yeah, and I’m driving her, so…” Aria piggybacked on to Hanna’s excuse.

“Mona and I have a debate meet.” Spencer didn’t even bother to look up from her homework.

“Out of town.” Mona was all too quick to add.

“At least I know your excuse is legit.” Alison took a sip of her morning protein shake. She’d been taking it upon herself to make healthy shakes for herself and Emily, because she wanted Emily and the baby to be healthy. “I’m going to get some granola.”

She wasn’t actually craving granola. She was just walking all the way across the cafeteria to sulk in private. She stood up and slowly walked away.

“We’ve upset Little Miss Toddlers and Tiaras.” Mona watched her go.

Emily frowned. They had made a lot of headway in making peace, but there was still some dissent among them. And Emily understood that. She knew that _years_ of torture didn’t just get magically swept under the rug. She knew it from personal experience, because Courtney had tortured _her_ and she knew how she would feel if someone had come along and tried to make her be best friends with her. She knew that Alison earning their friends’ trust was an ongoing process. But it still bugged her that Alison was still on the outside looking in.

“You guys could have let her down a little easier.” Emily scolded her friends. “She’s trying to be nice.”

“I don’t trust it.” Hanna frowned. “It’s unnatural.”

“You’re the only people she really wants there. She’s only inviting everyone else for clout. And to make a statement. To get back at Noel and the twins.”

“Hold on. This is a revenge party?” Hanna’s interest was piqued. “I’m down for anything that exists to make that cretin and the plastic twins miserable. Put me down for Hanna plus one.” She gripped Caleb’s arm.

“Wait, what?” Caleb looked up from his phone. He’d been attached to his electronics for weeks trying to figure out who was harassing Emily. “I don’t do parties.”

“You do this one.”

Caleb didn’t argue. He just rolled his eyes and focused on the screen again.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt if I came by for a little bit.” Aria stirred her coffee. She looked at her brother. “Want to ride with me?”

Mike looked at Mona and then he looked at his sister. He wanted to go support Mona at the debate, but at the same time…he _hated_ watching debates. And Mona knew it. But Mike was too much of a gentleman to say it. Mona could tell he really wanted to go to the party.

“You should go.” Mona suggested.

Mike’s eyes lit up like he was a puppy being told he was going to go to the park.

“Are you sure?”

“There will be other debates. Besides, you can report back to me from behind enemy lines.”

“You got it, Sarge.” Mike gave Mona a hard salute.

“There will be no espionage and no friendly fire at this event,” Emily said.

“No, of course not.” Mike nodded seriously. He flashed a wink at Mona. She snickered.

By the time Alison got back to the table, everyone but Spencer and Mona had accepted her invitation.

After school she went to the gym with Emily so she could invite Ezra, Jake, and Toby. She knew that Emily loved her coworkers.

When she invited Toby he looked at her like she was having a stroke. Before he could tell her to get lost, she steered the conversation to something she’d been wanting to talk to him about for a while.

“I owe you more than a party invite.” Alison nervously trailed her fingers along the edge of the check-in counter. She looked up at him and saw that she had his attention. “I owe you an apology. It’s long overdue. I’ve just been trying to figure out the best way to…to broach it.”

Toby looked across the gym at Emily, who was talking to Ezra. He couldn’t help but think about the conversation they’d had at the apple orchard. Emily was convinced that Alison was a different person. He still didn’t believe that Alison had changed, but he could certainly see Emily’s influence on her. Alison DiLaurentis didn’t care about many people, but she was clearly madly head-over-heels for Emily.

“You don’t have to apologize for Emily’s benefit. You don’t need to score brownie points with me. She isn’t going to leave you just because I don’t like you.” Toby looked at Alison.

“I’m not doing this for her. She doesn’t know anything about this. I’m doing it because I know how much I hurt you. I know I said unforgivable things to you about your mother…”

_“Oh my God, what’s wrong with her? Why can’t she form a coherent sentence? Is she dumb or just drunk? What kind of lazy boozehound sleeps in the middle of the day anyway? Glug, glug.”_

Her words still haunted Toby. Her laugh from that day still haunted him. Sometimes he wondered if his mother had heard. He wondered if Alison had made her depression worse. He wondered if it was part of the reason she’d killed herself.

“Don’t you dare talk about my mother.” He tensed up.

“I’m sorry.” Alison took a step back. Even though there was a desk in between them she could tell that Toby needed his space. “I have been terrible to a lot of people in my life, Toby. I know that. I know I can’t make up for what I’ve done in the past. But I’m trying to be better. I am trying to make sure I never hurt anyone again the way that I’ve hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me. In fact, I don’t expect you to. What I said…how I treated you…your family…it is unforgivable. But I do want you to know I’m sorry. Sincerely.”

Toby looked at her, scrutinizing her. He had seen a change in her behavior, but he was still hesitant to believe she wasn’t the same old Alison underneath her new demeanor. Very few people changed as drastically as she did. And he knew she was a superb actor.

“Did you find Jesus or something?” Toby asked suspiciously.

“I found something better.” Her eyes drifted over towards Emily, who was still chatting with Ezra.

Toby nodded slowly, his thoughts swirling around in his head. He looked at Emily. He had never seen her so happy. He knew that Alison was good at destroying happiness. He cleared his throat and stood up a little taller and then faced Alison.

“You ever hurt her and you and I are going to have a problem.”

Alison felt like telling him that she wasn’t the person he needed to worry about, but she kept her mouth shut.

“I won’t.” She looked at her girlfriend. She peered at Toby. She felt awkward standing in front of him. He had such an intense glare. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

She moved back away from the desk.

As she was walking away he called out after her.

“Hey, Alison?”

“Yeah?” She turned around.

“What time does the party start?”

“When you walk in.” Alison replied without missing a beat.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t oversell it.” Toby rolled his eyes with a laugh.

Alison felt good about the ice slowly thawing between them. She knew Toby would probably never forgive her, but at the very least they could be civil with each other for Emily’s sake.

Alison heard Emily tell Ezra she would see him later. She looked over her shoulder and saw the brunette walking towards them with a cool smile on her face. She had such a seductive smile. Alison could look at her lips all day long.

“Ezra is in.” Emily walked up behind Alison and put her arm around her. She smiled at Toby. “What about you, Toby?”

“Yeah, I’m going to check it out.”

“Cool.” Emily glanced at her phone. “Are we still on for Friday night?”

Alison’s eye twitched. She tried to fight a scowl from appearing on her face. She didn’t know anything about Emily and Toby hanging out on Friday. She just assumed she would be with Emily spending time with her while getting ready for the party.

“Six o’clock.” Toby nodded.

Alison waited as they chatted for a few minutes. She saw Noel in the weights area. He sat up and put the barbell up. He glanced over towards her and glared at her. She’d made a big show out of very loudly inviting everyone to the party while purposefully excluding him. She stared back at him, scowling, her intimidating stance saying it all:

_“If you so much as even look at my girlfriend I’ll put you in a meat-grinder feet first.”_

Alison was the first to blink when she felt Emily wrap her arm around her shoulder. She pulled Alison close.

“Ready to ride?” Emily questioned.

Alison didn’t answer. Instead, she turned towards Emily and touched her face. She gripped her cheeks and pressed a hard kiss against her lips. As they kissed, Alison moved her hand down the small of Emily’s back until her hand reached the dip of her ass. She slipped her fingers into Emily’s back pocket and then pulled back to smile at her.

She knew Noel was still watching. She _wanted_ him to watch. She wanted him to know that Emily would always be hers and that he would always be a loser reject.

“Let me guess. That was for Noel’s benefit?” Emily discreetly looked over her shoulder.

“I’d rip your clothes off and ride you on the counter in front of him if pubic nudity wasn’t a factor.” Alison smiled.

“There’s probably a porno out there with that exact scenario.” Emily chuckled.

“Maybe we can recreate it one day.” Alison licked her lips and lifted her brows.

Emily laughed.

They walked towards the door. They could feel the temperature cooling as they neared the entrance. Even with the sun out, it was still cold. They usually didn’t take her bike long distances, but every so often they’d take a brisk ride if it was only a few miles. Alison zipped her coat up when they walked outside. She had learned to bundle up any time they took Emily’s bike in cooler temperatures.

It helped that Emily was always warm. She joked about it being the baby, but Alison was convinced the child was like a little fire that kept her hot all the time.

“So…Friday?” Alison tried to approach it without sounding annoyed. She didn’t want to come off as too clingy or controlling. She didn’t want to do anything that would push Emily away.

“Yeah. Toby and I are teaming up for another one of Jake’s boxing tournaments.”

Alison stared at her, dumbfounded.

“Em…” she looked around to make sure no one was within earshot and she lowered her voice, “you’re four and half months pregnant.”

“And?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong. Any kid of yours is going to be a little badass. But do you really want to start her in _Fight Club_ this early? I just…I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Don’t nag me, woman.” Emily playfully twirled her fingers through Alison’s hair. “It’s all on the up-and-up. It’s shoulders and above. No hitting below the belt.”

“What if someone misses?”

“It’s not going to happen. You’ve seen my footwork. I’m great at what I do.”

“Don’t be so arrogant, Emily.” Alison grumbled in frustration. She regretted it the second she said it. She saw a mixture of annoyance and surprise on Emily’s face. “I didn’t mean…sorry…that wasn’t what I meant to say.”

“I think it’s exactly what you meant to say.” Emily had a stoic expression on her face. Alison couldn’t read what she was thinking.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’ve lived my entire life a certain way. I don’t let fear dictate what I do. I’m not going to stop doing the things I love, especially if I know how to practice things safely. I’m pregnant, but that doesn’t completely define me. It’s just a piece of who I am.”

Emily grabbed her helmet and put it on and gave Alison her helmet. Alison knew the conversation was over. Emily wasn’t going to argue, because she’d made up her mind. But that didn’t mean that Alison was okay with it.

* * *

Their little spat caused some friction between them as the week went on. Alison tried to talk her out of sparring a few times, but Emily doubled down on her decision.

Emily spent her free time at work or in the school gym practicing her boxing, just to clear her mind. She couldn’t bury her emotions in swimming anymore, because there was no way to hide her bump in a bathing suit.

Friday morning before classes started Emily was in the school gym in the free weights room with a couple of other students. They slowly filtered out as the morning went on. Emily wasn’t really paying attention to any of the other people. She was more focused on her reps and staying hydrated.

She moved over to a bench press, but there was a large weighted barbell someone had left on it. She debated on whether to move it. It was quite a bit over her limit, especially given that she wasn’t supposed to move anything that heavy. Carrying Alison the night the scaffolding had fallen was the last risk she’d taken.

There were certain things she had yet to give up, but she _was_ still trying to listen to doctor’s orders. She didn’t want to do anything that put her baby girl at risk.

She heard padded footsteps behind her and saw Noel stopping at the machine.

“I’ll get it.” Noel grabbed the barbell.

Emily watched him warily. He didn’t say anything else. He just moved the bar and walked over to the machine beside it. Emily looked around the gym and realized they were the only ones left.

She took a sip of her sports drink and then sat down on the bench. She grabbed two three pound barbells and started working her biceps. Noel didn’t pay attention to her, but she kept her eyes on him.

She worked the weights for ten minutes, but then started to feel tired and out of breath, which wasn’t normal for her. She grabbed her sports drink and took a sip. She chalked the exhaustion up to the pregnancy. But when she reached for her phone to check the time she realized it was something more.

There was a message from the anonymous number from thirty minutes ago.

**_You think you’re the queen of knockouts? How about a taste of your own medicine, bitch?_ **

Emily gripped her phone. It didn’t make any sense at first. She looked up, expecting something to fall on her head. But all she saw was the ceiling. Seconds later her eyes darted to the sports drink in her hand. She’d guzzled more than half of it. She dropped it on the floor and quickly pushed herself to her feet.

“Drink much?” Noel scoffed, leaping to his feet to avoid the splash.

Emily couldn’t answer. She was starting to feel lightheaded. But passing out alone in a room with Noel Kahn was the last thing she wanted to do. She shoved her phone in her pocket and grabbed the edge of a machine. She nearly fell over.

“Jesus…” Noel followed her.

The fact that he was following her sent her panic into overdrive. She wanted to scream for help, but her lungs felt paralyzed. She spun around to try and push him back, but instead she lost her balance.

She saw a look of confusion wash across his face. And she felt a very surreal voice in her head. She recognized it. She’d known it her entire life. After a beat she realized it was her own voice.

_Hold on…_

It took her a second to realize she wasn’t saying it to herself. She was telling her child.

_Hold on. Please hold on._

The room was spinning.

“The baby…” she uttered. _Please…please let her be okay…_

“Holy fuck. Are you having a miscarriage?”

But Emily couldn’t answer. She couldn’t respond. Her entire body felt numb.

Noel saw the look in her eyes as she toppled forward. He caught her before she could hit the floor.

“Shit. Fields?” He lowered her to the ground softly. “Uhm…Emily?”

He stared at her. He looked around the empty room. He was contemplating what to do. After a few seconds he picked her up and walked towards the door.

He kicked the door open and jogged down the hallway. He looked around for help. He saw Toby walking into the building with a coffee in his hand.

“Cavanaugh!”

Toby begrudgingly turned around, ready to tell Noel to go to hell, but then he saw Emily in his arms and his face dropped. He rushed over to them.

“What the hell did you do to her, Noel?” Toby snapped.

“Nothing. She just passed out.” Noel moved towards the nurse’s office. “I need you to find Alison.”

“ _You_ find Alison. I’ll take Emily. There is no way in hell I’m leaving you alone with her…”

“You’re standing in front of the nurse’s door, dipshit. Move.” Noel shoved past him.

The nurse heard them barging in and she scrambled to meet them, asking questions about what had happened. Toby didn’t have time to argue with Noel. He rushed off to find Alison.

“What happened?” The nurse asked.

“She fainted.”

“Did she hit her head?”

“No. I don’t think so. I caught her before she fell.”

“She on any substances? Any drugs?”

“I don’t think you’ll find anyone more squeaky clean.” Noel shook his head.

He gently laid Emily down on the table while the nurse grabbed some smelling salts. She checked Emily’s pulse and tried to stimulate her to wake her up.

When she didn’t respond to the stimulation the nurse waved the smelling salts underneath her nose.

“Is that like…safe? For everyone?” Noel questioned. He didn’t want to expose Emily’s pregnancy.

“She’ll be fine…”

Emily inhaled a breath and her head jerked back. Her eyes fluttered open. She moved her head in a droopy manner. She muttered something, but then gagged. The smell made her want to puke. She tried to sit up, but the nurse slowed her motions.

“Take it easy, sweetie.”

“I’m fine.” Emily muttered. She felt drunk, but at least she was awake.

“Are you in any pain?” She gently pressed her belly.

“No. But I feel like I’m going to hurl.”

The nurse grabbed a trash can and then went to see if she could get her something for the nausea, which once again left Emily and Noel alone. Emily stared at him.

“I didn’t tell her.” He blurted out. “I haven’t told anyone.”

“And? What do you want? A medal?”

“Damn, hormones make you bitchy.” Noel muttered. “Almost as bitchy as steroids.”

Emily gave him an incredulous look.

“You were right about the drugs,” he said. “I think most people probably know. But I stopped juicing.”

“Mazel Tov,” she mumbled, still somewhat out of it.

“I’m trying to stay clean. That shit is terrible for you.”

“Why did you do it in the first place?” Emily asked.

Noel shrugged and huffed out a quiet breath.

“I’ve just always had a lot of pressure on me to be the best at things. My parents expect it. The team expects it. The scouts for college expect it. I just thought it would give me a boost. Didn’t know it was going to turn me into such a raging lunatic.”

“You sure you weren’t one before the drugs?”

“Probably. A little bit. I mean, Alison has probably told you that I’ve always been a pompous asshole. And she’s not wrong. I know I’ve been a real dickhead to you. I know that.” He scratched his head. “But I also know that my behavior was wrong and unacceptable.”

“Very much so.”

“That day…I don’t know…I had basically eaten testosterone for breakfast with a side of testosterone…and testosterone to drink…”

“Stop saying testosterone.” Emily gave him a hard time.

“Anyway, the point is I was already tweaking and mad. And then I got mad at you and Alison, and I couldn’t let it go. And when she slipped up and told me…” He glanced at her stomach. She defensively put her hand on top of her belly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t have an excuse. There _is_ no excuse. I put you through something awful, and I’m sorry. I’m glad you laid me out. I deserved it.” He rubbed his jaw. “I deserved worse. Seeing that blood all over my face was an eye opener. That day I realized that something needed to change. I stopped pumping my body full of chemicals. I’m…I’m doing my best to change. I mean, I figure…if Alison can change…how hard can it be? We all screw up, right?”

“Some more than others.”

“Point is…I shouldn’t have come at you like that in the locker room.”

“You weren’t the first,” Emily uttered. She shuddered thinking about Courtney.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m sorry. For everything. I’m really sorry.”

Emily thought about it. What Noel had done was unforgivable, but she understood what it was like to be under such an immense amount of pressure. At least he was trying to make things right.

“I appreciate you saying that.” Not _‘I forgive you_. _’_ Not _‘It’s okay_. _’_ Because it wasn’t. But she wanted him to know that she understood what he was saying.

“Sure.” There was a lull of silence. “So, what happened? You overdo it or something?”

“Or something.”

Another awkward silence. She saw him glancing at her stomach. It made her feel uneasy. He realized he was making her feel uneasy, so he took a step back and averted his gaze.

“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to…” He made a face. “It’s just…I still can’t believe you’re…” He rubbed his elbow. “It wasn’t like…someone like me didn’t…go too far and do this to you, did they?”

“No.”

He seemed relieved.

“I was just curious. You don’t have to tell me about it.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“I…uh…” He shuffled his shoes against the floor. “You know…my brother’s wife…she had a stillborn this summer.”

“What?” Emily felt a rising tension in her stomach. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about. “Why would you…why are you telling me this?”

“Because I have never seen anyone as devastated as I did when it happened. ‘Born Sleeping’ is what they call it. It’s something that I…I don’t think I fully comprehended what it felt like for them. Back there in the gym, I thought…you looked really sick. And I thought you might have been losing the baby or something. Then I thought about what I did to you. It could have done something that hurt your kid. And I didn’t really think about that. I didn’t think _anything_ through. And Jesus, Emily…fuck…if I _had_ hurt you…if you hadn’t stopped me…”

“Noel, it’s over. It’s done. Just…do better.” _Fuck off and leave me alone._

He nodded silently. He seemed sincere, but Emily was still skeptical of his motives. Anyone could _say_ they were sorry. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t do terrible things again. Sometimes people just said it to make excuses for their bad behavior.

She sat up. He reached out to help her, but then pulled back at the last minute when he realized she probably didn’t want him touching her.

Just as she was leaning up against the wall Toby walked into the room.

“Hey.” He saw that Emily was awake and he smiled in relief. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good.” Toby glared at Noel, still certain that he had something to do with Emily being in the nurse’s office. “You can leave now.”

“Sir, yes sir.” Noel feigned a salute and turned towards the door.

“Hey, Noel?” Emily called out after him.

“S’up?”

“Thanks.”

He nodded without saying anything as he walked out of the room. Toby stepped up next to her.

“Emily, did he…did he do anything…”

“No. He saw me pass out and then brought me here.” She left out the part about the threatening text she’d gotten.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“He said you fainted. He told me to go find Alison.”

“Oh, God. She’s probably flipping out right now.”

“I didn’t find her. I found Spencer. Told her to find her. I didn’t want you to be alone with Noel.”

“I appreciate that.” She smiled softly at him. She could feel a fluttering sensation in her stomach and it made the reality of what had happened hit her really hard. She thought about the little human growing inside of her. “Hey, so um…I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to spar tonight.”

“No. Of course not.” Toby didn’t hesitate in his response. “Your health is more important.”

“I’m really sorry for the short notice. I feel like a total flake…”

“Don’t worry about it. I can easily find a sub for you. Won’t be as good as you are, but…I’ll still take the trophy for you.” He assured her.

Emily laughed.

“So, what happened?” Toby questioned.

Emily thought about the text message and swallowed a knot in her throat. Had someone actually gone far enough to spike her drink? Or had she panicked and fainted?

“I don’t know.” Emily rubbed her temple. She was grateful she hadn’t fallen on her head, or even worse…on her stomach. Noel being there hadn’t been such a bad thing. “Just…hydration issues I guess.”

“Come on, you know better.” Toby frowned at her. “Is something else going on with you? Are you…” He frowned, hesitating. He looked afraid to ask, “Are you sick or something?”

She looked into his patient baby blues and felt compelled to tell him. He wasn’t only her friend, but he’d gone out on a limb for her to get her a job.

“I’m not sick.” Emily shook her head. She chewed on the inside of her lip. Her secret felt like it was eating her from the inside. “But there is something that I…”

She was interrupted by the loud clacking of heels hoofing it down the hallway. They heard Alison call out her name, as if she didn’t already know Emily was in the nurse’s office.

“Your other half doth approaches.” Toby moved back, because he knew that Alison would just shove him aside to get to Emily. “She’s coming in hot, too.”

“She’s always hot.” Emily smiled.

Alison practically lunged into the nurse’s office. She walked right past Toby and over to Emily’s side. She reached for Emily’s hand. The brunette responded automatically by taking her hand.

“Hey, what happened?” Alison asked. She was panting and out of breath. “Are you okay?”

“Did you run across campus to get here?”

“In heels.” Alison nodded. “I was in the parking lot.”

“God, Ali, why didn’t you just text me? You could have broken your ankle.”

“If it’s one thing I know how to do, it’s run in heels.” Alison scoffed. “I’m more worried about you.”

“I’m fine. Just got a little lightheaded.”

“Doing _what_?”

“Oh, you know, skydiving…base jumping…parkour.”

“You are really annoying.” Alison laughed.

“And you’re really crazy.” Emily smiled back at her.

“Well, I’m going to let you two lovebirds duke it out.” Toby backed towards the door. “Don’t get too crazy. The nurse will be back any minute.”

“Oh, good, I love a challenge.” Emily gave Alison a mischievous look.

They listened to the sound of Toby’s receding footsteps.

“What were you _really_ doing?” Alison asked.

Emily held her index finger up to her lips and listened carefully to make sure no one else was approaching. She reached in her pocket and pulled out her phone.

“Don’t freak out,” Emily said, handing Alison her phone. “I got this in the middle of my work out.”

She watched as Alison’s face changed from concerned to irate. The blonde angrily clutched the phone.

“Someone is going to pay for this.” Alison growled through her teeth. “We need to light a fire under Caleb’s ass. He promised us answers.”

“He’s doing the best he can.”

“It’s not good enough. We have to find out who is doing this.”

“We don’t know anything for sure yet. I could have had a panic attack after I saw the message.”

“You don’t panic.” Alison pointed out. “Like _ever_.” She stared at the phone. “You know, I bet it’s Cindy and Mindy again. Some puppet-master is pulling the idiot strings again.”

“I thought their parents have them on lockdown because of the frat orgy e-mail you sent.”

“Right. Then it was Noel.”

“Noel is the one who brought me here.” Emily thought about the conversation she’d had with him. She hated him, but she did believe that he was telling the truth. “If he was the one did this to me why would he risk getting caught by helping me?”

Alison frowned. She didn’t believe Noel was innocent.

“You know…he apologized.” Emily picked at a split cuticle on her index finger.

“You’re going to have to be more specific. He’s done so many asshole-y things.”

“For the locker room.” She looked up slowly. He did seem genuinely sorry. “Noel is many things.” Emily touched her stomach to try and soothe her nausea. “But he didn’t do this.”

“We don’t know that. I don’t care if he bought you an entire rose garden to say he’s sorry, he tried to _force_ himself on you…”

“Believe me, I know. But I just…I don’t think he’s capable of pulling this off.”

“Maybe he’s just another minion. Like Cindy and Mindy.”

“You really think they’d take it this far?”

Alison sighed.

“I don’t know. The twat twins do get bored and change boyfriends every five minutes. Their attention spans don’t really seem conducive to stick to something like this.” She gripped Emily’s hand and leaned towards her. “You’re _sure_ Isaac doesn’t know anyone here that could have found out the truth? Someone who he could talk into scaring you for not telling him?”

“I’m telling you he wouldn’t do that. He doesn’t know.”

“Someone does.” Alison sighed, giving her back her phone. “You’re sure his sister…”

She saw Emily flinch. It wasn’t the first time Emily looked like a kicked puppy at the mention of Isaac’s sister.

“You _really_ hate this girl, don’t you?” Alison frowned in concern.

“She was a bitch.”

Alison saw something vulnerable in her eyes.

“ _I’m_ a bitch.” Alison reminded her. “And I’ve never seen you look like that when I’m around. What did she do to you, Em?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.” Alison felt a broiling rage in her stomach. That bitch had done something to _her_ girl. “Why did you ask Caleb to track her if you think she can’t get to you from Texas?”

“I don’t know. I…” Emily grimaced. “Pregnancy hormones have just brought out a bunch of neurotic shit in my head. Things weren’t always easy back in Texas with her around. She was constantly doing things to try and get me to break up with her brother.”

“What kind of _things_?”

Emily had never talked about what happened with her and Courtney in the locker room. She’d handled it the way _she_ wanted to handle it that day. She’d knocked Courtney on her ass and she’d gotten her to back off. It didn’t mean Emily didn’t understand the severity of what had happened. It just meant that it was her choice to tackle it in her own way.

“Noel wasn’t…” Emily paused. “He wasn’t the first person to try and push me to do something I didn’t want to do. Courtney…she uh…” Emily rubbed the back of her neck. “She tried to force herself on me once.”

“What?” Alison’s eyes darkened in fury. Emily felt Alison’s hand tighten around hers.

“It was…I don’t know. I was able to fight her off before she actually got anywhere with it. She went completely nuts that day. I don’t know what happened. It came completely out of the blue. She flipped this switch in her brain and she was just…gone. I didn’t see _anything_ in her eyes. That’s what I remember the most clearly about that day. The look she had on her face. She was just…hollow.”

She saw that Alison’s face was bright red. Her cheeks were puffed out angrily. Her eyes were dark and large. She squeezed Alison’s hand to try and help her tamp down her rage. It was clear she was plotting Courtney’s demise.

“When it happened with Noel all I could think about was Courtney. It’s why I totally lost my shit on him, especially after he touched the baby. I saw red. The day that Courtney pinned me and tried to push herself on me something inside of me changed. I have this…there’s an anger in me. I keep it under control. I let it out in bursts. My swimming. My riding. The boxing. All of it is a coping mechanism.”

“I’d like to practice my coping mechanism of shopping and use a brand new pair of heels to stab her fucking eyes out.”

The imagery made Emily laugh. Seeing the smile on Emily’s face softened Alison’s edge slightly.

“You know, sometimes I look back and I wonder if I should have done something differently…like maybe I should have told someone. But it was…I mean…I stopped it before she did something _really_ damaging. But I still hate that I never told Isaac the truth about that day.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because she ended up in the hospital.”

Alison snorted.

“Good for you.”

“It wasn’t anything I did. I did give her hell. But she went to the hospital because she passed out. She had some kind of flu. But I always felt a little guilty for leaving her laid out on the floor.”

“After what she did to you? Christ, Emily…” Alison was annoyed at Emily’s willingness to give a shit about someone like that. “I would have made sure she never left the hospital.”

“I process differently than you do, Ali. And it was complicated.” She had paused when Courtney started it. _Why_ had she paused? “It’s something that I…it still…I don’t…I don’t know what to feel about that day. She…I think she knew it would mess me up. I think she knew I’d never be able to let it go. She’s out of my life, but she still has this weird control over me. I just thought that once we left the past she wouldn’t be renting out any space in my head, you know? I thought maybe I’d get to let it go.”

“You _shouldn’t_ have to let it go. That bitch is no better than Noel Kahn…or Darren Wilden. Or those frat boys that tried to hurt you and Maya. People like that deserve to get shived in prison.”

“People like Courtney don’t go to prison. You know that.”

“God, this is…I am so fucking pissed off at her.” Alison felt angry tears stinging her eyes. But not just for Emily. For herself. For everyone who had to deal with the Courtneys and the Wildens of the world.

“I used to be angry. But I’m not anymore. I mean, it still bothers me sometimes. But not for the reasons you’d think. It’s kind of hard to explain. Ever since this creepy text message stuff started I’ve had my past open up in the weirdest ways. I…I’ve been having these dark dreams about her.”

“What…like…nightmares?”

“Yeah, kind of. I don’t know. But she’s not really after me. She’s after the baby.”

“She’ll get near this baby over my dead body.” Alison threatened. “I mean it. I have access to lawyers that could get me off for all kinds of things.”

“It’s not just that. I worry about the baby…that she…” Emily touched her stomach. “I just…I don’t want her to be anything like Courtney…”

“There is _no_ way.” Alison shook her head vehemently.

“Courtney and Isaac have the same genes…”

“But you said Isaac is a sweetheart.”

“He is. He’s probably the sweetest person I know, but Courtney is…there is something wrong with her, and like it or not…she has the same DNA as Isaac.”

“Emily…I don’t give a shit about genetics or dumb relatives. This baby is going to be the best of you and Isaac. Don’t for one second let that psycho get in your head about this. There is no world in which any child of yours is going to be anything but kind and compassionate. _You’re_ her mother.”

Her stubborn nature was just the thing Emily needed to out-stubborn her own mind.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know you’re right. I think some of it is just my mind playing tricks on me. I think I just…I haven’t let go of Texas as much as I thought I had.”

Alison saw a flash of sadness in Emily’s eyes, and it sent a surge of anger over her. _Fucking Courtney_. How dare that fucking bitch still be allowed to live and breathe?

She pulled her hand away from Emily’s. She ran her fingers through her hair and grumbled out in frustration. She started pacing the room. Courtney was a fucking menace. She needed to be taught a lesson. Alison was halfway across the room when the sound of Emily’s voice snapped her out of it.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m buying a plane ticket to San Antonio. To see _The Alamo_. And maybe commit a murder while I’m there. You know…touristy stuff.”

“I already told you, I’m okay. I said and did what I needed to do that day.”

“I can’t just…ugh…” She stamped her feet in protest. “Can’t I just hire a hitman? Just a little one?”

“I could never do that to Isaac.”

Alison took Emily’s hand. She stared at her knuckles. They were worn from all the boxing she did. How was it possible that she was so strong, yet also one of the softest people in the world?

“Then how can I help you through this? What do you need?” Alison asked calmly.

“Nothing. I just wanted you to know.” She was the first person she’d told. She was the first person she’d _wanted_ to tell.

“I get it.” Alison nodded. “I do.” She rubbed Emily’s knuckles. “I know how that feels. Jason’s friend Ian…he did something like that to me once.”

“What? Are you serious?” Emily’s head snapped up. “Does Jason know?”

“He thought I was making it up for attention.”

As bothered as Emily was to hear that Jason’s friends took advantage of his little sister, it bothered her just as much that he didn’t stand up for her. Then again, his father was a total womanizing creep. He’d probably learned from him.

“We were at the pool one summer. I was twelve.” That would have made the bastard at least 18. “He offered to help me put my sunscreen on my back. I thought it was cool that a senior in high school was giving me attention. We talked about this band that I really liked. He was all into it, and telling me that he loved the band, too. The next thing I know, he was kissing me and telling me how pretty I was.” She made a face. “I remember his breath tasted like beer. It was so gross. _He_ was gross.”

“God, people are such toads.”

“What do you suppose it is about us that has psychos after us?” Alison looked at Emily sadly.

It was something that was far too common. Pretty young girls and the creeps that preyed upon them.

“It’s not us.” Emily stroked Alison’s hand. “It’s them.”

And Emily always protected her from _them_. She was her perfect little fighter.

Alison touched her cheek. She took a moment to appreciate that Emily was okay. She was still glowing from the sweat from her work out.

Every time she looked at Emily she felt the urge to touch her. Her aura was just so inviting and kind and perfect. She tucked Emily’s hair behind her ear and let her palm linger against her cheek. She just couldn’t fathom that someone would want to hurt her.

“Who would have done this? Who would hurt you like this?”

“I don’t know.”

“This could have been so much worse. For you and for the baby.”

“I’m fine.” Emily assured her again. “I’ll be back to kicking ass in no time.”

Alison frowned, her forehead crinkling in concern. She cupped Emily’s jaw.

“There is no way in hell you’re boxing tonight…”

“Already told Toby to find a sub.”

“Oh.” Alison had been expecting more of a fight. “Well, that’s…good.” She smiled smugly. “At least there’s that.”

She didn’t dare say it out loud, but it was perfectly clear to Emily that Alison was happy about the outcome.

“Okay, you don’t have to rub it in.” Emily rolled her eyes.

“Is it okay if I rub other things?” Alison moved over her and leaned in for a kiss.

“Where did you get your medical license, ma’am?” Emily teased when she pulled away.

They stared at one another. They were seconds from a full blown make out session when they heard footsteps approaching. The nurse walked in holding Emily’s file.

“I see you have a new nurse,” she said as she glanced at Alison with a smile. She closed the door as she walked in. “Has she been taking care of you?”

“Exceptionally so.” Emily grinned at Alison.

The nurse walked over to Emily and handed her a tiny paper cup with two tablets in it.

“It should help with the nausea.”

Emily looked at the drugs. She shared a look with Alison.

“It’s okay. It’s safe for pregnant women.” The nurse handed her a cup of water. She saw the surprised looks on their faces. “Honey, I may be a high school nurse in _Perfectville, USA_ , but I came here from Mississippi. We had one of the highest teenage birth rates in the country there. I know a pregnancy when I see one.”

“Bottoms up then, I guess.” Emily took the nausea meds.

“Your iron probably dipped too low, which is why you got dizzy and passed out. It’s a pretty common problem. You’ll want to follow up with your OB. You have an OB, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. You’re welcome to rest in here this morning. I can write you a note for class.”

“If you’re writing a note for me, you might as well write one for her, too. She’s not going to leave.” Emily motioned towards Alison.

The nurse sized Alison up, and for a moment Emily thought she was going to tell the blonde to go to class. Instead, the nurse swiveled on her stool.

“You want a migraine or cramps?” The nurse grabbed a pad and started scribbling something down.

Emily and Alison looked at one another and laughed. At least someone at the school was on their side. They needed all the allies they could get.


	16. Dangerous Woman

**A/N:** _Me at the beginning of the story: “This chapter is much longer than the rest of the chapters. I promise they’re not all so long-winded.” Me now: “Ha ha, lolz, LOTS OF WORDS!”_

* * *

**Chapter 16:**

**Dangerous Woman**

Emily felt fine by the time school was over. She could have easily competed in the boxing tournament, but she chose to support Toby from the sidelines instead. He had tagged Mike in to be his partner. Mike barely skated by, but they ended up winning the trophy, just like Toby said they would.

After the tournament Emily and Alison went to Alison’s house to get her place ready for the party. They put up a few chic Christmas decorations and Alison pulled out her brother’s karaoke machine.

When Emily got home that night she was exhausted. She didn’t say much to her parents. She just trekked straight to her room to go to bed. As she was changing out of her clothes she heard her phone go off.

The tone made her feel sick to her stomach. That’s what her life was now: a noise grating her soul like nails on a chalkboard. Most of the time it was just one of her friends, but every time it was the anonymous number she felt her sanity slipping.

The text wasn’t from the mystery number, but it did make her feel sick to her stomach.

It was from Isaac.

**_Court is talking about going to visit Nick over the holidays. I was thinking of tagging along. NY to PA isn’t that far of a drive. Maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle? Shakes and fries are on me._ **

Emily grimaced. She wanted to see him, because she missed her best friend. But she didn’t want to see him…for obvious reasons.

She thought about what Alison had asked in the nurse’s office about whether or not Isaac might have someone in his life who would want to see her hurt because of her lies. The texts did sound a lot like Courtney, but she knew that Courtney couldn’t keep a secret from her brother if her life depended on it. She would use it to hurt him.

But even if Courtney knew the truth…she was back in Texas. She couldn’t magically materialize at Rosewood High School to dose her sports drink with sedatives or drop industrial sized equipment on her head. And it’s not like Courtney knew anyone in Rosewood, though it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that she had found someone in town to do her bidding somehow.

Emily buried her face in her hands and groaned. Could the blonde really be responsible for all of it? All the speculation was giving her a headache.

She looked at Isaac’s text. It was so hard to push him away. But her life was too complicated. She didn’t need to drag him into it. She knew the best thing to do for him was to let him down easy.

**_Wish I could, but you know how crazy my family gets this time of the year. My mom has got us balls to the wall booked._ **

She hated lying to him, but she didn’t know what else to do. Besides, it’s not like it was the worst lie she had told him.

**_If they’re making you dress up like an angel again I want pictures._ **

Emily smiled. Their eighth grade church pageant. She’d been cast as an angel.

 _Mary would be a better fit now._ Emily thought to herself. Pregnant with no idea of where to go.

In the play, she was supposed to be in an angel costume playing Gabriel, but she had gotten pissed at her parents for making her do the stupid show.

Right before her cue she’d changed into an inappropriate sexy reindeer costume. No one had stopped her, so a skimpy Rudolph had guided Mary and Joseph through the night.

She had not been invited back to participate after that. Her mother had been pissed. Her father thought it was hilarious.

**_I think they learned their lesson when Rudolph the red-nosed stripper sang baby Jesus to sleep with ‘Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer’._ **

He sent a slew of laughing emojis, followed by,

**_God, I miss you._ **

**_I miss you, too._ **

**_Was really hoping we could take the Big Apple by storm together._ **

New York City. He was going to be _so_ close. The timing couldn’t have been worse. Alison was supposed to be driving up to NYU on Monday for a campus tour. She’d talked about brushing it off, but Emily told her she had to go. Now she was regretting it. The chances were slim, but what if her past and her present collided? What if she ran into Courtney while she was there?

Emily imagined a million different scenarios. Most of them ended with Alison in prison for murdering Courtney.

Another text popped up from Isaac. It was just a bunch of various sad face emojis.

Emily quickly replied,

**_Don’t sulk. It’s not a good look for you. You’ll have plenty of fun without me. How’d you convince the parental units to go for it?_ **

**_Courtney turned on the waterworks. She gave them this long emotional speech about how hard it was to be away from the ‘love of her life.’ Mom caved, but dad was harder to convince. She threatened to run away and elope and never talk to them again unless he conceded to her wishes._ **

**_So…basically like the time she held her breath when she was younger until she turned blue in the face?_ **

**_Basically. She’s gotten more sophisticated in her manipulation tactics._ **

He’d added three emojis rolling their eyes for emphasis.

Emily stared at the screen. She was well aware of Courtney’s manipulation tactics. Had she gotten more sinister? Had she perhaps blackmailed her parents to let her do other things?

Maybe it wasn’t impossible that she’d taken an impromptu trip to Rosewood once or twice. But surely Isaac would notice if his sister had gone missing for more than a day. Unless he wasn’t home. Sometimes his away games kept him out of the house during long weekends.

**_Has she conned them into anything else lately?_ **

**_Oh, I’m sure. You know my dad. She has him completely wrapped around her finger._ **

Emily cringed at the mention of his dad. He had always given her the creeps. The way he’d brushed her aside and made her feel like a prostitute that needed to be paid off never sat right with her.

Every time she took money out of her bank account she felt dirty. She was certain that had been his intention…that she would look at it as a stain in her life rather than something that could benefit her child.

Emily had often wondered where Courtney had learned her conniving ways. She didn’t have to look further than Courtney’s parents. It was a miracle that Isaac had turned out normal. Then again, he had always seen the best in people. It’s one of the things that made them such good friends. Emily wanted to see the best in people, too.

Isaac wasn’t entirely oblivious to his family. He knew that his sister was a bitch. He knew that his parents were toxic. But familial ties made things complicated. Sometimes you couldn’t see snakes hiding in the grass when you were right on top of them, and oftentimes you couldn’t see the hidden evils in your own family. That’s what made it so dangerous. Living in an environment where poison lurked around every corner became an unsettling kind of normal.

She remembered a story she’d once been told about people’s inability to sense danger if they were slowly immersed in it. It was about what a frog would do if it was placed in a pot of hot water. If you put a frog directly into a pot of boiling water the frog would immediately jump out. But if you gradually increased the temperature the frog would acclimate and it would slowly boil to death without ever perceiving the threat of death.

Isaac had been in the boiling pot of water since birth. Her only hope was that college would get him away from the toxicity of his parents and his sister. He deserved better than his family. He deserved better than a lying ex-girlfriend hiding his child from him. Sometimes she wondered if she’d been part of the problem in his life. Had she helped his family hold him down and suffocate him in a boiling pot of water? Would he have been better off without her?

Ironically, the first time they met there had been a frog involved. The kids in their bible camp were all inside their church getting the rundown on the rules for their ski trip. Emily had asked if she could go to the restroom and then she’d casually strolled out of the church.

She hated being confined in those four walls. She hated being in an environment that was unwelcoming and judgmental.

Sometimes she felt like strutting up to the pew, pushing the pastor out of the spotlight, taking the microphone and loudly announcing,

_“I’m a homosexual. You know ‘the gay’ you’re trying to pray away.”_

She’d been able to breathe a little better when she’d slipped out the side door into the sun. She wanted to bask in the heat for a little while before they were bused up to the slopes. She had planned on sitting on the bus by herself. She was looking forward to getting a little peace and quiet.

But then Isaac came into her life. And everything changed.

She’d seen him sitting on top of a picnic table, his feet against the bench. He was hunched over with his phone in his hand taking a picture of something. He seemed completely engrossed by whatever he was looking at.

She’d curiously walked up behind him. When she got closer she could hear him talking. At first she thought he was talking to someone on a Bluetooth, but then she saw him shift his leg on the bench and heard him say,

 _“You’re a cool looking little dude. Remind me a little of myself. You just waiting for your Princess Tiana to make your dream complete?”_ He’d angled the camera to try and get a better shot. _“Aw, come on, don’t be camera shy, Naveen. Your Tiana is out there. Just like mine.”_

 _“Filming a sequel to ‘The Princess and the Frog’?”_ Emily stopped when she reached the table.

His back had straightened as he sat up and shot a look over his shoulder. She caught a glimpse of his side profile. He had a skin fade haircut that was slowly growing out. His soft cheeks still had traces of his baby fat. She recognized him. She’d seen him around church and around their middle school, but she didn’t know him.

He’d planted his feet against the bench and moved to the side so he could see her. His intelligent brown eyes found hers. He smiled at her. It was a mixture between goofy and flirtatious. He didn’t seem at all embarrassed that he’d been caught talking to a frog.

 _“Sorry ma’am, this is a closed set. I can’t divulge any secrets. Filmmaker code.”_ He’d feigned a serious look.

He couldn’t hold the expression. They’d both started laughing.

Emily had moved around to the side of the table he was on to look at the frog. It seemed completely unbothered.

_“I like your casting choices, Mr. Director.”_

_“He earned the part by being the only frog in the vicinity.”_ He’d flashed her a grin that was all teeth.

_“So, ‘The Princess and the Frog’, huh?”_

_“Yeah. My Gran took me and my sister to see it when we were little. I’ve wanted to go to Louisiana ever since.”_ He’d put his phone away. _“I’m Isaac.”_ He’d extended his hand towards hers.

 _“Emily.”_ She’d accepted his handshake.

The frog hopped off of the bench and on to the ground.

 _“Look at our boy go.”_ He’d chuckled. _“Man, frogs are so cool.”_

 _“They are. I heard a story once about how they supposedly absorb negative energy.”_ Emily watched the frog, the little pouch underneath its mouth puffing in and out.

 _“That’s awesome.”_ He’d leaned back and planted his palms against the table. _“So, what brings you out here? What Bible verse are you running from?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“You know…”_ He’d glanced at the building. _“Thou shalt not…whatever.”_

Emily felt her stomach churn. It felt more like a prison than a church. She was a prisoner in her own body. She couldn’t even be herself around the people she loved.

_“I don’t know. I’m more into self-spirituality than I am mass gatherings and prayer.”_

_“Yeah, I don’t know how much I buy into it.”_ Isaac rubbed his head.

_“Buy into what?”_

_“This.”_ He’d motioned towards the church. _“I mean, to an extent I think it probably started out as something meant for the good of the people. But what it’s turned into over the centuries? It’s too…commercialized. Too flashy. Too ‘me, me, me’.”_

_“Yeah, I can see that.”_

_“Do I think Jesus Christ died for our sins? I don’t know. I think there is some merit to some of it. I do believe in a lot of what they’re preaching. The kindness of it all. But I think a lot of it is fabricated. I think we put too much faith in a book and not enough faith in each other. My grandma told me that she looked at it as a really loose guideline. The ‘treat people the way you would want to be treated’ thing. She said “Bible” stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.”_

Emily worked out the acrostic puzzle in her head. Basic. Instructions. Before. Leaving. Earth. B-i-b-l-e. It was an acronym. She smiled. It was clever.

_“I like that. Kind of like a cliffnotes version.”_

_“Yeah.”_ He’d laughed. _“We can just cheat our way through it and we’ll be fine.”_

 _“I think we’re going to get smote for discussing this on sacred ground,”_ she’d said jokingly.

 _“Lightning strike us down.”_ He threw his arms up dramatically.

Emily laughed.

 _“I wouldn’t tease about that. We’ve already got the beginnings of a plague here…”_ She’d pointed to the frog, giggling.

 _“I would follow my Lord Prince Naveen anywhere. Blessed be the amphibian.”_ Isaac bowed his head and glanced at the little creature. The frog had gone completely still. It had spotted a spider crawling near it. _“He made a friend.”_

 _“Actually, I think he just found dinner.”_ Emily scooted down towards the frog. She didn’t touch it. She wanted to respect nature’s boundaries. She got close enough to warrant the frog hopping away a few steps and she let the spider continue on its way.

_“Did…did you just deny our Savior the right to eat?”_

_“I simply gave a plebeian arachnid the chance to live.”_

_“You’re something else, you know that? Never met a girl who wasn’t afraid of frogs and spiders.”_ He seemed impressed. _“Want to sit with me on the bus? I’d love to hear more about your strange love of gross things.”_

A door slammed behind them and they’d spun around. A tall blonde sauntered towards them, pretending to be interested in her phone.

Emily had seen her at swim tryouts. She remembered her name. Courtney.

 _“I think we accidentally summoned the devil,”_ he’d whispered. _“Also known as my sister.”_

 _“Your SISTER?”_ Emily had gawked.

 _“Surprise.”_ He’d looked sheepish. _“The Bible isn’t the only story that has family drama.”_

_“Isaac, what are you doing? The bus is leaving in a few minutes. Dad has been looking all over for you. If we miss this ski trip because of one of your stupid stunts…”_

_“Jeeze, Court, relax. I was just enjoying the sun a little bit.”_ He’d hopped off of the table and brushed himself off.

_“You are such a lamebrain.”_

Emily scowled at her. The girl wasn’t being very nice to her brother. It irritated her.

_“You do realize where we are, right? Maybe you should practice what the Bible preaches and be nicer to him.”_

Courtney puffed her chest out in an equal mix of shock and disgust. She’d glared at Emily angrily.

 _“Siblings were known for killing each other in the Bible.”_ She’d spouted back.

 _“The sin of pride is in there, too. And that always worked out so well for people in the good book.”_ Emily didn’t miss a beat. She was oozing sarcasm.

Courtney gawked at the brunette. Had she just called her vain? She wanted to be angry, but she had conflicting feelings. No one had ever been able to match wits with her. She didn’t like it. But at the same time, there was something exciting about it.

 _“You’re Emily, right?”_ The blonde stared at her, sizing her up. _“I’m Courtney.”_

 _“I know who you are.”_ Emily wasn’t the least bit interested.

_“Of course you do. Everyone does.”_

_“There’s that vanity. Entitled much?”_

_“Emily…let’s just go. We can finish this talk on the bus.”_ Isaac suggested. He knew how Courtney behaved when she didn’t get her way. He didn’t want to see a tantrum.

Surprisingly, Courtney didn’t blow her top. Her face crinkled in a mixture of confusion and intrigue.

 _“I can handle trash talk, baby brother.”_ Courtney nodded, almost as if she was calculating something in her head. She looked at Emily, _“I get it. You’re trying to take top spot on the swim team. Can’t be caught being friendly with the competition. But you can relax. It’s just us girls. And I’m not afraid of a little competition.”_

Isaac looked between the two girls, totally confused by Courtney’s reaction. She would have ripped any other girl to pieces.

And any other girl besides Emily would have been baited into Courtney’s trap. Most girls trying out for the swim team were so insanely competitive that they would have torn Courtney’s throat out for insinuating that she would get the anchor spot. But Emily kept her composure.

 _“Cool.”_ Emily tried to blow her off.

_“So, what were you and my brother talking about that’s so interesting that you actually want to KEEP talking to his boring ass on the bus?”_

_“Religion.”_ Emily deadpanned as she looked at Isaac.

Neither one of them could hold in their laughter. It pissed Courtney off to see them smiling.

 _“Well, Emily…”_ The name rolled off of her tongue in a weird way, _“I don’t give a shit about who worships what. I just want to use my new ski gear and have some fun on the slopes.”_

She’d lifted her eyebrows and smirked. She looked like an evil little imp plotting something devious. It blew Emily’s mind that Courtney was _so_ different than her brother.

 _“We should go.”_ Isaac saw several kids trickling out towards the front of the church.

 _“You should sit with me on the bus. I’d love to pick your brain about this year’s swim team. We could be an unstoppable duo if we teamed up.”_ Courtney offered.

Emily looked between Courtney and Isaac. She had gone from the idea of quietly sitting by herself on the bus to two people vying for her attention. She really liked talking to Isaac. He was easygoing and fun. She didn’t particularly _like_ Courtney, but something about her was strangely alluring. She had none of the charm of her brother. She had no tact. She had no compassion. She was a bitch. Emily wasn’t sure why she even had to think about it. She wasn’t sure why she even _considered_ sitting with Courtney.

 _“Isaac and I already made plans to sit together,”_ she’d coolly turned down the blonde’s invitation.

Fury crossed over Courtney’s face. She saw Emily glance at her brother. She saw her brother smile back at Emily and then look smugly her way. They didn’t even bother to say anything else to her. They just walked towards the bus together.

Neither one of them had seen the look on Courtney’s face. And neither one of them had seen her spin around on her heels and kick at the dirt. They didn’t hear her swear angrily or witness her stare at the frog they’d been admiring.

The frog was bathing in the sun. Courtney moved into the light, blocking the sun and painting the frog’s world in darkness. She’d glanced at her brother and Emily. How dare they make a fool out of her? How dare they mock and belittle her? She would not be ignored.

She’d gotten a sinister look on her face as she slowly raised her foot above the defenseless little creature. Isaac and Emily had rounded the building so they didn’t see or hear anything that followed.

Emily had started something when she chose to sit by Isaac on the bus. They had spent the next twelve hours talking, bonding. They had a lot of the same shared interests. He seemed like a really cool guy. She didn’t mind talking to him. She knew they were going to be great friends. She never would have guessed that the adventurous little boy she’d met that day would become her boyfriend years later. When she looked back on those first memories of Isaac she looked back at their time together fondly. But some of those memories were tainted...because of his sister.

Courtney had spent the entire bus ride staring at her, leering. Emily had wondered if she was just being protective of her brother. That was before she’d gotten to know Courtney better. It was before she realized that Courtney didn’t care about Isaac. She didn’t care about anyone. She didn’t know how.

Sometimes Emily wondered how different things would have been had she picked Courtney that day. She had awoken a sleeping giant. And she’d watched as that sleeping giant had sidled up next to Nick, who had been in rare form that weekend.

Emily had heard him arguing with someone over a test before she’d left the house that morning. He’d been really fired up, which was unlike him. He was usually very laid back, especially over academic things.

He’d seemed extra sulky when he’d come by the church. Normally, church outings weren’t his scene, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to go on a poorly chaperoned trip with a bunch of hot girls.

It just so happened that the hottest girl there had picked him to be her shadow. Courtney had started hanging around Nick during the trip. They had been all over each other. Emily heard they’d hooked up in the hot tub.

Emily had started seeing more of the blonde after that. Since Nick lived next door Courtney was constantly crossing paths with her. Courtney made a show of hanging all over him every time they were together. Sometimes she would even stare at Emily while slipping her hand into the front of Nick’s pants and getting him hot and bothered. It’s something Emily hadn’t understood until the day Courtney attacked her in the locker rooms. It was only then that she realized Courtney had been doing it deliberately.

Courtney had done a lot of creepy things over the years. It’s part of why Emily was worried that maybe she’d carried her torture across state lines. It’s why she’d asked Caleb to put her on the suspect list. It’s also why she’d finally fessed up to Alison about why she was leery of Courtney in the first place.

Alison was ready to rip Courtney’s head off. Emily didn’t doubt that her girlfriend would go to bat for her. But seeing Alison going toe-to-toe with Courtney wasn’t something she was interested in. She loved Alison, but she was afraid Courtney would seriously hurt her.

It’s not something she usually had to worry about, but if Courtney was flying up to see Nick…what was to stop her from coming to Rosewood? Maybe she’d already _been_ to Rosewood. Or what if Alison ran into her in New York? That was even more terrifying to think about, because Emily wasn’t going to be there to protect her.

Her phone chimed. She’d jumped at the noise interrupting her silent train of thought. She had completely zoned out and had forgotten that she was in the middle of a conversation with Isaac. He’d added on to his message,

**_She’d make a great politician one day. She can talk anyone into anything. But my mom and dad aren’t stupid. They agreed to let her go, but asked me if I wanted to go, too. I’m supposed to play babysitter._ **

**_Hope they’re paying you time and a half for it._ **

**_I’d say the trip to NYC is payment enough. I just wish I’d gotten the Christmas bonus of seeing you._ **

She tried to steer the conversation away from the visit. The last thing she needed was Isaac showing up on her doorstep to find her pregnant and making out with Alison. She wanted to tell him about the baby and her sexuality. But she didn’t want to do it over the phone.

The crappy thing is she couldn’t see him in person to tell him either. She was still bound by the non-verbal contract with his parents. If she told him about the baby she wasn’t sure what they would do. They’d probably demand their money back.

Or what if it was something worse? What if they did a 180 and tried to deem her an unfit mother? What if they tried to get custody of the baby? There were too many unknown variables.

Emily felt a flutter in her stomach. A wave of panic. She gently put her arm across her abdomen in an unconscious protective motion. She hadn’t even realized she’d done it until she looked down and saw her palm pressing against her bump.

Thinking about Isaac’s family stirred Emily’s thoughts into shaky territory. What if Alison wasn’t that far off when she’d accused Courtney of being the cyberbully? What if someone in Isaac’s life _was_ responsible? What if it was Courtney _and_ her parents?

Maybe they had some sinister plot to torture her as a family. They had never cared about the baby. And they were the kind of petty people who might use her insecurities against her.

They certainly had the means to hire people. What if they were trying to scare her into giving the baby up for adoption so that it could remain a dirty little secret?

“That’s crazy, Emily,” she uttered to herself, staring at her phone.

But was it? Nothing was out of the realm of possibility.

“They’re in Texas.” She tried to talk herself down from her anxiety.

Any issues she had with them she’d left over the state line. Over _many_ state lines. They were far away. She kept thinking the worst case scenario when she knew that the most likely scenario was the real one.

She was hearing hooves beating against the ground and she was thinking zebras when she should be thinking horses. The most obvious answer was the right answer. Someone in Rosewood was behind it. They had to be. Everything else was just in her mind.

* * *

Emily tried to keep her mind off of her past by focusing on Alison’s party. She got up early the next morning and went over to her house to help her finish getting everything ready.

The guests started arriving at seven. Hanna was the first one to show. She didn’t even knock. She just barged in like she owned the place. Emily was putting some finger foods in the living room when she walked in.

“Huh…this seems…different than I remember.” Hanna looked around. Her eyes landed on the piano. “Aww, is Medusa gonna play us a widdle song?”

“Knock it off. This is neutral territory tonight.” Emily swatted her friend’s arm.

“All right.” Hanna threw her hands up submissively. “So, where is _her royal deviant_?”

“Upstairs getting ready.”

“Putting her face on so she can blend in with the mortals better?” Hanna guessed.

“Funny.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Where’s Caleb?”

“He’s finishing up a call. He’ll be in in a few minutes.” She glanced outside. Caleb was standing next to the front porch talking on his phone. Hanna faced Emily. “We’re only here for you, you know.” She frowned. “I had to threaten Caleb by withholding… _things_ …to make him come.”

“Normally withholding _things_ …” Emily lifted her brows in amusement, “has the opposite effect on making boys come.”

“You’re so gross.” Hanna snorted out a laugh.

“Tell me I’m wrong.” Emily shrugged. Hanna pushed Emily playfully. Emily faked a gasp. “How dare you hit a woman in my condition?”

“Weren’t you boxing with Jake at the gym two days ago?” Hanna asked.

“Yeah. But I cooled it a little after I passed out at school.”

“Oh, shit. I’m such a bad friend. I didn’t even ask how you were doing.”

“I think the mental toll it took was worse. I still don’t know if it was just panic and low iron or if someone actually put something in my drink. When we went back to get my things everything had been cleaned up.”

“Someone getting rid of the evidence?” Hanna guessed.

“Or a janitor cursing my name for spilling sugar water all over the floor.”

“I still can’t believe Noel helped you after you pummeled the shit out of him.”

“We have an understanding. He doesn’t tell anyone and I don’t beat him up.” She ran her palm across her belly, which was strategically hidden by a shirt that flowed out over her bump. It accentuated her growing boobs, but hid her small protruding belly. She had on an oversized leather jacket covering her sides and her torso. “Though, that’s kind of a moot point now. It’s getting a lot harder to hide. I’m going to have to tell everyone soon.”

Hanna could tell the idea of talking about it made her uncomfortable.

“If you’re not ready I can work my magic on you.”

“Hanna Marin, I’m a taken woman. What would our partners think?”

“Seriously, I can help.”

“You can magically make _this_ ,” she pointed to her stomach, “flat again?”

“No, but I can dress _around_ it. Trust me. There is no fashion I can’t style. I know how to bring out the best in everyone. Just let me take you shopping.”

“I can’t really afford it. The little money I do have I need to save.”

“I can find deals like you wouldn’t believe. Plus, your girlfriend is rich.”

“I’m not going to be some leech feeding on the DiLaurentis’s money.”

“You know she’ll go for it.” Hanna refused to relent. “If you don’t ask her I will.”

“You’re a pain in the ass.”

“I know.” Hanna smiled.

“If you put me in anything frilly I’m going to make sure my water breaks all over your closet.”

“That’s…” Hanna made a face, “…very visual.”

There was a light knock on the door. Emily called out to let Caleb know to come in. He stared at the huge high ceiling as he shut the door. He walked over to where Hanna was standing.

“This is…um…something.” Caleb looked around Alison’s living room. His eyes stopped on the closet behind the front door. It was open for people to hang their coats up. “The closet is bigger than my bedroom.”

“I could talk to my parents about renting it out to you if you’d like.” They heard a voice carrying down the stairwell.

Emily was the first to turn her head and look up at Alison staring at them from over the banister. She was in a stunning red lace dress that stuck to her figure and highlighted every curve of her body. Emily felt her hormones raging. Alison slowly walked down the stairs in her heels, every step flawlessly in sync.

She walked over to Emily and gripped her arm. Emily practically undressed her with her eyes. Alison squeezed her arm and winked. She faced Caleb and Hanna.

“Thanks for coming.” Alison smiled.

Hanna and Emily looked at each other and snickered, both of them in on a joke that Caleb and Alison were lost on. Hanna silently mouthed the word _‘coming’_ and they cracked up again.

“Are we the only ones here?” Caleb asked.

“I mean, you _are_ early.” Alison puffed up defensively. The insinuation that her parties were lame pissed her off.

Caleb lifted one of his brows and looked at her in confusion.

“I was only asking because I wanted to talk about your little…problem.” He held his phone up and pointed to it.

Alison’s face tightened in an emotion that Emily couldn’t really register. Her eyes darted across the room. Hanna narrowed her eyes at the other blonde. She was wigging out.

“Did you find out who is sending the messages?” Emily asked hopefully.

“I’m trying, but they’re really covering their tracks. I am working on trying to ping a location of the cell tower. Even burners have to go through a cell tower. If I can find a correlation between the towers and the phone…or _phones_ this person is using we can track them that way.”

“So, basically you have nothing.” Alison snapped.

“Ali.” Emily glared at her. Her face screamed _“what the hell is wrong with you?”_

“You were _drugged_ Emily. It could have killed the baby.”

“I’m well aware.” Emily thought about the danger her daughter was in every second of the day. “But we don’t gain anything by freaking out. That’s what this person wants.”

“You _should_ be freaked out. Why aren’t you?”

Emily was surprised by her curt tone. She knew Alison was on edge, but she didn’t usually snap at her. She shot her a warning glance ordering her to knock it off.

“Because I have faith in our friends.” She glared at her in annoyance.

 _YOUR friends._ Alison thought to herself. She wasn’t blind to the fact that Hanna and Caleb only hung out with her because they wanted to hang out with Emily.

“I don’t have any follow up on the texts _yet_ ,” Caleb said. “But I did find out something that might lead us in the right direction. Wilden has been up to something.”

Emily prickled up at the thought of it. She hated that he wasn’t in jail. She hated that ‘due process’ for people like Wilden basically meant that he got to roam free while his lawyers tried to figure out a way to bury the charges. She looked over at Alison and saw that her face had blanched. Without saying a word Emily reached for her hand.

When Alison felt Emily’s fingertips she snapped out of her trance. She gripped Emily’s hand and smiled appreciatively at her. Caleb and Hanna didn’t miss the interaction.

“Sorry. I know it’s a sensitive topic. Guy is a fucking prick and the entire town knows it.” Caleb sneered angrily. Alison was the last person in the world he cared about, but no one deserved the treatment that she had been subjected to by someone who was supposed to be in a trusted position of power. “I can’t tie him to the messages, but I noticed that he took a trip to the police department earlier in the week.”

“That’s not so weird.” Hanna replied.

“He went to the records department.” Caleb pulled something up on his phone. “Normally his trips involve the parole office. It’s in an entirely different department. And he went at night. The malware tracker on his phone works like a timed GPS. He went around 10 on Tuesday.”

“I still can’t believe you got the tracker on his phone in the first place.” Hanna marveled at her man.

“It was easy. I just sent him an invite to a non-existent website.” Caleb waved it off.

“Of what?” Emily questioned.

Caleb made a face.

“You don’t want to know.”

The girls all grimaced. Wilden was a disgusting pig. Emily felt Alison squeeze her hand. She squeezed back.

“He took a picture. It’s dark, and any time I try to enhance the photo it just distorts everything in the image. The pixels are super low quality.” Caleb flipped his phone around to show them the image. It looked like a piece of official paperwork. “At first I thought it had something to do with his arrest. Like maybe he’s trying to bury something. But it’s actually something from four and a half years ago. It’s a DNA profile. I couldn’t figure out much. Those particular records were sealed, but I did some digging. I’ve got a friend in the department from my juvie days. That’s who I was talking to a minute ago. He says that it looks like it was a printed file that was requested with his own DNA being input into the system to search for something.”

“You think maybe he is trying to see if there is evidence linking him to other crimes?” Alison asked. He’d been called out by several different girls. Maybe there was DNA evidence somewhere.

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would he willingly do it?” Emily questioned. “Unless he knows a dirty cop who is looking the other way…”

“Oh, he’s definitely got friends in the department. Half of those assholes were in the same fraternity together.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“I think he was using it to see if someone _else_ with his DNA is in any of their systems.” Caleb explained.

“Like…his parents or something?” Hanna asked.

“No. He would have perfectly proportionate DNA markers if it had anything to do with his parents. This didn’t share all of the same markers.”

The girls didn’t say anything.

“So…what does that mean?” Hanna furrowed her brows in confusion.

“It means that you think Wilden has more family than we know about, right?” Alison glanced at Caleb. Maybe he wasn’t as useless as she thought.

“Could be. A sister. A brother…”

“Oh, God. What if there are two of him?” Alison gagged.

“It could even be a kid,” Caleb put his phone away. “This is a hard copy. I could try to hack the police system…”

“No.” Alison interrupted him. They all looked at her in surprise. Her face was tight, her eyes dark. “If you get caught you could go to prison.”

Emily saw something strange in her expression, but she couldn’t quite place it.

“She’s right. We’ll find another way.” Emily nodded in agreement.

“More than likely they wouldn’t have kept a copy of it anyway. They would have known to wipe the servers,” Alison said.

Caleb mulled it over.

“True, and now that we know we can find other ways to look into it. I can check bank and credit card statements. See if that leads anywhere. I can also look to see if anyone has come to see him. He’s not allowed to leave the state while he’s awaiting trial. But that doesn’t stop other people from coming to see him.”

“Do we _really_ think that Wilden is involved in this?” Emily asked skeptically. It didn’t make any sense to her. The DNA search didn’t prove anything except that he was looking for someone.

“He has an axe to grind with both of us,” Alison said.

“But why start it the second I got back to town?”

“It could be that he found out about the baby. If he has a kid out there he’s trying to find maybe he’s angry that you have a chance with your kid that he never had?” Alison guessed.

Putting aside her disdain at the thought of Wilden as a father, Emily was trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together logically. And something about it didn’t fit. It felt like they were chasing the wrong answers.

“I don’t know how he would have found out. You were the first person in town that I told.”

“There’s nothing in your medical records he could have gotten into at school?” Caleb asked.

“No.” Emily shook her head. “And there is no way he could have gotten into school to attack me. Not for the Halloween set up and not in the gym.”

“The doubledork twins helped with that. And they have a thing for him. All he’d have to do is flash his disgusting smile at them.” Alison pointed out.

“They swore up and down that they didn’t know who was messaging them,” Emily said. “I guess they could have lied, but they didn’t break when you interrogated them _or_ when I interrogated them. Plus they haven’t been able to leave their house in months. It’s like Fort Knox over there.”

“When I went to pull up their messaging cache I did find proof that someone from a burner had been messaging them back in October. I couldn’t pull any of the metadata though. The files were corrupted,” Caleb explained. “But I cross-checked some dates while looking into it. They weren’t at school this week. They were out of town for a family funeral. So they couldn’t have had anything to do with what happened in the gym.”

“So if it’s Wilden, how did he get in? The dance was one thing. No one would have blinked twice if he was in costume. But he couldn’t have gotten on to campus yesterday. He couldn’t have gotten into the gym, not without badge access.” Emily’s forehead crinkled in thought.

“Unless someone _let_ him in.” Caleb pointed out. “Noel was his star player. He knows about the pregnancy. He was at the dance _and_ he was in the gym when you were drugged.”

It still didn’t feel right to Emily. There had been something in Noel’s eyes when she woke up and saw him in the nurse’s office. The look on his face she’d seen in the gym hadn’t been the look of someone who knew what was going to happen to her. He looked shocked.

“They don’t have the brains to pull it off.” Emily thought it over. “ _Maybe_ they’re involved. But they’re not the ones orchestrating it.”

“So we beat the shit out of Noel and get some answers. Problem solved.” Hanna shrugged. “I’ll drive to his cabin right now.”

“As much as I’d love to see that, Noel is taking off with a bunch of his buddies first thing in the morning. They’re going to the Cayman Islands for a few days and then he’s going to Jamaica for the holidays with his family. I’ve got his itinerary,” Caleb said.

“I know it’s a good thing we know all of this, but it’s also really freaky that we know all of this.” Hanna glanced at her boyfriend.

“We have a direction. We can start planning. Noel will be gone. And we’ve got eyes on Wilden. As soon as we figure out who they’re working with we’ll have your stalker. But until then you should play it cool with your socials. Don’t post. And keep your location off,” Caleb said.

“Not a problem. I deactivated my Insta months ago.” Emily shrugged.

Alison had been less than enthusiastic when Emily’s profile disappeared. She didn’t have a lot on the page to begin with, but it annoyed her that Emily wasn’t plastering their cute faces all over her feed and her story to brag about their love.

Then again, it was probably a smart move. Alison hadn’t considered that the stalker would be able to find them after she made her profile private. But this person was a professional.

Emily glanced at the blonde, who was biting her lip.

“Alison…”

“I’m not an amateur.” But what if she was? What if she had fucked up?

“You do realize that you advertised this party, right?” Hanna scrolled through Alison’s Instagram feed.

“What?” Emily frowned.

“Well, I didn’t know this was going to turn into an episode of _You_!” Alison grabbed her phone and started typing away on it.

She looked up from her phone and started to say something, but the front door swung open and her brother walked in flanked by two of his frat bros, Garrett and Ian. They were carrying several cases of beer.

Emily glared at the guys. She shot daggers at Jason. He’d brought Ian and Garrett, the two very men that Emily had warned Jason to keep away from Alison.

Ian had come on to her when she was a _child_. Alison told Emily that even after she told him no that he would say suggestive things to her. And her brother was parading him around in their house. Emily wanted to kill all three of the boys.

“Got some party favors.” Jason made a noise that was probably frat speak for _“booze, yay!”._ It was very primitive.

“This party is _invite only_.” Alison scowled at her brother. She had assumed Jason would be bringing beer. She had not anticipated the frat assholes.

“I live here, sis.” He trotted over to his frat brothers.

Emily saw a strained look on Alison’s face. She put her hand on the blonde’s back.

“Hey, this week has been…a lot,” Emily admitted. “Me being drugged. This whole Wilden thing. And now Ian showing up…” Emily knew how she would feel if she was in Alison’s position. Wilden had harassed her. Ian had harassed her. She probably felt angry and violated and scared. “We can call this off if you want to.”

Alison whipped her head up to look at her. She looked offended.

“I’m fine.”

“Ali, you’re not fine…” Emily reached up to touch her cheek. She could see it in her eyes.

“Just drop it, Emily. We’re not calling it off.” She dug her heels in. She saw the look of surprise on Emily’s face. She realized she was being too harsh. She sighed and smiled. “I’m okay.” She touched Emily’s waist. “I have you. I know you’ll keep me safe.”

The faith and trust that Alison put in her broke her heart sometimes. Because she knew she couldn’t protect her from everything. She glanced at Alison, who was very clearly trying to hide her emotions. Emily always knew when she was disappearing into herself. Alison could tell that Emily wasn’t buying it.

“I promise, Em. Tonight is just what we need.”

Emily pressed her lips together. Her expression was radiating concern. But before she could voice her opinion, people started trickling into the house. Some people were from their high school. Some were from other high schools. There were a few college people mixed in.

Emily saw Aria, Mike, and Ezra in the crowd. She waved them over. She knew it was time to help Alison play the dutiful host. She knew how much it meant to Alison that everyone enjoyed themselves.

“Hey, you made it.” Emily smiled at Aria. She appreciated that her friends were trying to bond with Alison.

“Barely. We almost died.” Aria nudged her brother.

“It’s true.” Ezra had a fake pensive look on his face. “I saw my life flash before my eyes.”

“We let Mike drive.” Aria explained.

“I only hit _one_ mailbox this time.” Mike argued. He ran his fingers through his hair, smiling bashfully.

“You and Alison should do a demolition derby together. You’d make a killer team.” Emily pinched Alison’s ribs. She squealed in laughter.

“Shut up. I’m not _that_ bad.”

Ian walked up behind Alison and casually threw his arm over her shoulder. She immediately pulled away. Emily felt her face get hot. She put her arm around the blonde. It took everything in her power not to knock his lights out. All she could see was Alison as a vulnerable little girl at twelve. He’d taken advantage of that. He had hurt her girlfriend.

“This set-up is sick.” Ian nodded in approval.

Everyone stared at him. He was the least common denominator who did not belong in the conversation, yet he insisted on inserting himself into it. He looked around. His eyes lit up when he saw the karaoke machine.

“Yo! You set up the _‘aoke_.”

Emily hated him, not only for looking at and touching Alison, but for shortening a four syllable word into two syllables that sounded like gibberish.

“We can break out _Senorita_. I can be the Shawn to your Camila.” Ian threw his fist out for Alison to bump it. She ignored him. Emily’s eyes narrowed at him. She hated him _more_ for trying too hard with his Spanish pronunciation of the song. He was the whitest white boy that Emily had ever seen. “Oh, come on, don’t be like that, blondie.” Ian cupped her shoulder with his palm. “You’re looking _caliente_ in that dress.”

Alison leaned away from him and into Emily’s body. In that moment, Alison looked every bit like the scared twelve-year-old girl that he had harassed years ago. It brought out a fierce nature in Emily. She whisked Alison to the side and gritted her teeth angrily at him.

“And you’re looking like a jackass you pervert.” Emily snapped. Alison raised her brows, half alarmed, half turned on. “She’s with _me_. So back off.”

“Oh, so it’s like that, then? That’s what’s up?” Ian scoffed.

“Hey, man…they said to back off.” Ezra stepped in between the girls and Ian. He didn’t raise his hands to Ian, but his stance was enough to show that he meant business.

“Who invited the nerd?” Ian rolled his eyes.

“I did.” Alison challenged him. “Who invited _you_? I don’t recall seeing ‘giant dildo’ on the invite list.”

Jason saw the confrontation unfolding so he walked across the living room.

“You guys need to chill. You’re killing the vibe.” Jason grumbled, sipping on his beer.

“Put a leash on your dogs, Jason.” Alison snarled at her brother.

“Takes a bitch to know a bitch.” Ian shrugged.

Alison felt like lunging at him and ripping him a new one. Before she could move, Emily grabbed her. Her hot hands felt like silk against Alison’s bare arms. She gently rubbed her arms to calm her down and then kissed the side of her neck, taking her time, making sure that Ian was watching.

“Let’s put on some music and dance.” Emily slipped her arm around the small of Alison’s back and pulled her close.

Alison grabbed a remote and turned the stereo on. Music started pumping throughout the house. Everyone cheered and started dancing. Emily and Alison moved to a private little corner where it was just the two of them. Emily pulled Alison close and kissed her.

“ _That_ was caliente.” Alison smirked. She looked back at Ian, who looked steaming mad. “But we should really be careful about who we piss off.”

“I’m not going to let some handsy pervert harass you just because some keyboard warrior hiding behind their phone is talking big to me.”

“But it’s not just talk, Em.” Alison laid her head against Emily’s chest. When she was this close to Emily she could feel the growing bump between them. It only made her love her more. She felt Emily kiss the top of her head and it made her feel a little more at ease.

“Maybe we should downsize. Let Jason and his buddies have the house. We can take our friends and go somewhere else.” Emily suggested.

“I’m not leaving my own party.” Alison lifted her head up to look at Emily. Even with her heels on, she was still a few inches shorter than Emily. “I worked really hard on it. I shouldn’t have to be the one to leave.”

“Chug, chug, chug, chug!” The boys shouted from behind them.

Emily grimaced, watching as Garrett and Ian swallowed their booze at an alarming rate while their frat brothers encouraged it.

“This isn’t going to end well,” Emily said.

“It’ll be fine.” Alison waved it off. “They crash all the time. It’s just a little beer.”

“It’s beer _and_ boys with raging hormones.”

“I think you and I could give the boys a run for their money when it comes to hormones.” Alison leaned into her. She reached up and walked her fingers up Emily’s chest. She gripped Emily’s shirt and pulled her forward.

Emily felt her body tingle at their closeness, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of the boys. She had a terrible feeling in her gut.

“Alison, I’m serious. We need to shut this down before it gets out of hand.”

“It’s a couple of dozen kids and some beers.” Alison pecked her lips. She smiled. “This is still _our_ party.” She moved her hands down to Emily’s hips and pressed her body against Emily’s. “God, you’re so hot.” She slipped her hand against Emily’s ass.

Emily smiled when she felt Alison groping her. It successfully drew her attention away from the boys. She looked back at Alison, her eyes drifting down to her cleavage. Alison smiled in triumph.

“My eyes are up here.” Alison reached up and delicately moved her chin up.

“I know.” Emily smirked. “I’ll look at them later. I’m appreciating another view right now.” She looked down at her chest again.

“Emily Fields, you scandalous scamp.” Alison chuckled.

“You are on fire in that dress.” Emily twirled her around. Alison laughed and fell back into her embrace. “I can barely fit in anything anymore. Hanna wants to take me shopping to help me find clothes that will hide it for a little longer.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“I don’t think I’m ready for the whole town to know.”

“Then clothes shopping it is.” Alison laid her head against Emily’s shoulder.

They danced to a few songs and then they did a round of karaoke. They sang _Senorita_ just to stick it to Ian.

Alison did her best to have a good time, but Emily could tell she was unsettled. As the night went on Alison started sneaking off to drink beer.

Emily stayed close to her friends, including Toby, who had showed up fashionably late. They were the only ones who weren’t drunk. Hanna had one beer, but Caleb told her that her mother would kill him if he brought her back home drunk, so she didn’t have any more. Mike and Aria were both nursing their own drinks. They knew how to pace themselves. Their parents had let them drink in Iceland. Ezra politely declined. He volunteered to be the designated driver to get Mike and Aria home safe.

Alison was completely smashed. Emily hadn’t seen her so out of control since the night she’d rushed to rescue her from the frat party. Emily was no stranger to Alison’s slippery behavior patterns, but in the past few months the blonde had really turned a corner. Emily had been worried that all the stress in her life was going to push her back into old habits, but she hadn’t expected her to act out in such a worrisome manner.

Alison had told her this party was about bonding more with the people in their lives. But all she was doing was drinking and showing off her body to everyone in the house. Emily didn’t like seeing her be so provocative and lewd.

The breaking point for Emily was when she watched her climb on top of a table and start dancing to a Britney Spears song. All of Jason’s friends were cheering and howling like dogs. Jason was sitting on the couch, completely blazed out of his mind, nearly half asleep.

Alison was running her fingers through her hair and thrusting her hips while she stared at Emily from across the room.

“What is she doing?” Hanna’s face twisted in confusion.

“This party just went from _Pretty in Pink_ to _Showgirls_.” Aria frowned.

“Yeah, I think it’s time to call it.” Emily agreed.

She moved towards Alison, who looked delighted that Emily was coming her way. She winked at her and seductively reached for the hem of her dress. Emily stepped forward, pushing her way through the crowd of horny boys.

“Okay, that’s enough. This isn’t Mardi Gras.” She grabbed Alison’s hand and pulled her down.

“I was just getting started, baby.” Alison threw her arms around Emily’s neck and placed a sloppy drunken kiss on her mouth.

“Hey, she wants to dance. Let her dance!” Ian complained. “Party foul!”

Emily ignored him and put her arm around Alison and led her towards their friends. Alison whined about wanting to dance, but she could barely stand up. It was a miracle she hadn’t fallen off the table.

“The crowd loves me.” Alison grinned, hanging on to Emily for support. She waved to the college crowd. “Mmm, my adoring public.”

“What are you doing?” Emily hissed under her breath.

“What are _you_ doing?” Alison laughed back, reaching up to boop her nose.

“She’s _hammered_.” Toby pointed out.

“You think?” Mike asked sarcastically.

“Hey, Alison!” Ian stumbled through the crowd. Alison lazily turned around. “I’ll give you a ten spot for a private dance.”

“What did you say to her?” Emily whipped around.

“Chill out, babe. I just wanted to tip the lady.” He reached over and slipped a five dollar bill into Alison’s cleavage.

“Yo, that’s fucked up, dude.” Mike frowned in disapproval. “Leave them alone.”

He was ready to step in and protect the girls, but Emily was a step ahead of him. When she saw Ian touch her girlfriend her vision went red. She ripped her hand away from Alison’s and reached up to grab the little punk. Alison stumbled on her feet, but Mike caught her before she could fall. Emily spun Ian around with surprising strength and slammed him against the wall.

“Don’t you _ever_ touch her again.”

“Hey, get off of me!” Ian threw a flimsy fist forward.

Emily dodged it, but the motion forced her to let him go. He tripped forward and struggled to rein in his fists. His backswing caught Aria in the face, his knuckles making contact with her jaw near her right ear. Normally, she knew how to take a hit, but the shock of it knocked her for a loop.

“Aria!” Mike cried in concern. He turned towards Ian and sneered angrily. He looked like a raging bull ready to stampede.

“You son of a bitch.” Emily growled.

Ian spun wildly on his feet, trying to hit anyone in his path. He came dangerously close to hitting Emily, but Ezra and Toby rushed forward and body slammed him against the wall.

“Aria, are you okay?” Emily reached out to Aria, who was holding her cheek in surprise.

“I think so.” She looked more stunned than hurt. She moved her jaw, trying to pop her ear.

“Let me see.” Mike hovered over her with a worried expression on his face.

“I’m fine, Mike.” She lowered her hand. She rubbed her jaw and blinked rapidly several times.

“Let go of me!” Ian ordered from behind them.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Mike snarled at Ian. “You hit my sister.”

“I’ve seen her moves on the mat. She’s fine.” Ian glanced at Aria. “Right, sweetheart? You’re fine...”

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Emily snapped.

“Your ear is bleeding.” Mike frowned, his eyes widening at a tiny trickle of blood dripping down her earlobe.

“I’ve taken worse hits. I’ll be okay.” Aria assured him.

“Your eardrum could be ruptured. Do you want us to take you to the hospital?” Emily asked.

“No.” Aria shook her head. She glanced at Alison and lowered her voice. “You have other things to attend to.”

Emily saw the blonde staring at the confrontation, dazed and confused. Emily left Mike to tend to his sister. She quickly rushed back to Alison’s side.

“You okay?” Emily cupped her cheek. She could feel her shaking. She knew it was a mixture of the booze and Ian’s advances. She saw Alison holding back tears. “Come on, let’s get some air.”

“I’m okay,” Alison insisted.

“You’re shaking.” Emily called her bluff.

“Because he tried to hit you.” Alison said, seething angrily through her teeth. Her eyes cut over to Ian. She looked murderous. “You’re a fucking coward and a womanizer and a predator, Ian. Messing with me is one thing. But you came after my girl.” She balled her hands into fists.

“She came at me first.”

“You know damn well that’s not true. I’ve got a dozen people here that saw what you did. And I’m going to the cops.”

“Try it. I’ll take down every last one of you.” Ian growled back at her. “Except maybe little mama over there. She clearly knows how to take one on the chin.”

Ian was goading Mike, and it worked. The sound and tone of his voice turned Mike’s attention back to him. He spun around with a wild look in his eyes. His patronizing tone triggered a hairline eruption of fire inside of the younger boy. He charged at Ian. Before anyone could stop him he was body slamming him against the wall, knocking Toby and Ezra away.

“You’re a dead man.” Mike threatened.

“Mike!” Aria yelled.

Ian put Mike in a headlock, but Mike socked him hard in the stomach. They tumbled around for a few seconds.

“Mike, stop it!” Aria exclaimed.

“I say let him have at it.” Alison glared hatefully at the older boy.

“I’m not letting him get in trouble for that asshole.” Aria argued.

Toby and Ezra quickly regained control, pulling Ian away from the fight and putting him against the wall again. Caleb grabbed Mike, who was wildly flailing around still trying to get at Ian.

“Hey, calm down, Montgomery.” Caleb held his arms tightly around Mike’s midsection, pinning his arms down against his waist. “I know jackasses like him. He’d _love_ to see you get hauled off to court over this. If he presses charges you’re screwed.”

“ _I’m_ pressing charges.” Mike tried to wriggle free. “He hit Aria. He went after Emily. He was all over Alison when she clearly didn’t want him near her. He’s slime.”

“Say it to my face you fetus looking little basement-dweller.” Ian egged him on.

“Shut up.” Toby kneed Ian in the groin. He doubled over and groaned.

“You don’t want to go to jail over this piece of shit. Trust me.” Caleb replied calmly. He wanted more than anything to let the kid go and watch Ian get torn to shreds, but he knew there would be consequences.

“I’m a minor. I’ll get off easy. It will be worth it.”

“Hey, that’s enough.” Aria grabbed his arm. She shot him an angry look that only a big sister could use to scare her little brother into submission.

He broke away from Caleb and turned around in a huff. Aria put her hand on his shoulder, which seemingly calmed him down.

“What’s going on?” Jason pushed through the growing crowd.

Emily spun around to face the older boy with an angry look of rage in her eyes. None of this would have happened had he not invited himself and his creepy friends to their party.

“I _told_ you to control your friends around your sister.” Emily clenched her fist. “When your little sister tells you that your _friend_ is making her uncomfortable you should _listen_. He did it again tonight. And where were you? Where were you when your sister needed you, huh? Off getting fucking wasted? What if we weren’t here? What if he’d done something worse? Would you listen _then_?”

Now Emily was the one shaking.

“Em...” Alison said softly, putting her hand against Emily’s arm.

“Siblings are supposed to look out for one another. It’s _your_ responsibility to listen to your sister when she is trying to tell you something. But since you won’t listen to her, maybe you’ll listen to me. If you _ever_ put her in this position again...if you _ever_ put your selfish desires above her safety again I will personally see to it that your life is a living hell. I will come down so hard on you, I swear to God. I don’t care that you’re her brother. I won’t stand for it. She deserves better.”

Jason looked shell-shocked. Part of it was the fact that he was stoned. But the other part of it was because Emily was right. He didn’t say anything to her. He just walked over to where Toby and Ezra were restraining a cursing Ian.

“Is it true?” Jason stared at Ian.

“Dude, no! You know me. She’s making shit up. You know how much she loves to be the center of attention.”

“Is it true?” Jason grabbed his shirt and asked more forcefully.

“Okay, maybe...I mean, yeah...she kissed me once and I...”

“You fucking asshole.” Jason shook his head. “My _sister_?”

“Come on, bro. You really gonna listen to smurfette over there?” He sneered at Emily.

“You and I need to have a little chat,” Jason said, his voice even and calm. “Just you, me, and the Rosewood PD.”

“Jason...” Ian argued.

“Nah, man. I’m done with your bullshit.” He grabbed Ian and started hauling him towards the door.

Ezra walked over to Mike and Aria.

“Are you okay?” Ezra asked.

Aria nodded, though she looked dazed.

“I think we should take her home.” Mike suggested.

“Yeah.” Ezra agreed. “What do you say, _Million Dollar Baby?”_ He delicately brushed his fingers against the bruise forming on her cheek.

“Mike isn’t allowed to drive. I’ve already got enough bumps and bruises.” Aria tried to laugh through her pain. They all chuckled. Aria faced Emily. She looked at her sympathetically. “Thanks for the invite.”

“Come for the party. Stay for the boxing match.” Emily rubbed the back of her neck. It felt hot. She felt hot. She was still really pissed.

“I’ll walk out with you guys,” Toby rubbed his knuckles.

“I think we’re going to head out, too.” Caleb agreed.

Alison watched them leave in what felt like slow motion. Emily waved to their friends and apologized for the fight. Then she wordlessly took Alison and led her away from the older crowd.

They ended up in Alison’s bedroom, where Alison burst into tears. She stumbled towards the bed, but missed. She caught herself before she fell and lowered herself on to the floor, her back against the edge of the mattress. Her sudden outburst startled Emily.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Emily sat on the edge of the bed. She rubbed Alison’s shoulders.

“No, stop. I don’t deserve it.” She pulled away. “This is my fault.”

“None of this is your fault. What Ian did...”

“Not _that_!” Alison cried. “I _know_ he’s an asshole. And I know my brother screwed up, but he’ll take care of it. Because of you. Because you were there for me.” She cut her eyes away, like she felt guilty for something. “That whole Ian thing...it’s just stupid. That’s not why I’m upset!”

“Okay, so why are you...”

“The party!” She interrupted Emily. “It’s ruined! You were right. The beer was a bad call. I never should have told Jason we were doing this. I knew he would do this. I should have known better. This party was a dumb idea. We’ve got problems we should be dealing with...”

Emily swallowed hard. Her problems had become Alison’s problems.

“People were down there acting like animals. I just _invited_ danger into my house. I mean, Wilden is out there running around with some secret family member. And Noel is God knows where. And you still have some psycho after you and I didn’t even have someone watching out for you tonight. I just abandoned you to get drunk. You could have had your head cut off by a big lawnmower or something.”

She wasn’t sure why she was crying. Her brain felt so jumbled up. Alcohol always made her emotional.

“There were no lawn mowers.” Emily stroked her arm to try and calm her down. “I didn’t see anything of the gardening variety that…”

“I ruined everything!” Alison blubbered loudly. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been such a bad girlfriend this week. I didn’t want you to fight at the match last night and then you didn’t fight. And I know you were disappointed, but I was glad. And I shouldn’t have been glad, because you really love boxing.” She sniffled, barely able to take a solid breath through her tears. “I should support you. You always support me, even when I’m being crazy like I am tonight. You are such a good person and I am such a bitch!”

“Hey, slow down.” Emily tried to soothe her hysteria.

“I almost got you killed by a stupid frat boy. And Mike, Toby, and Ezra probably hate me again, and Aria might have brain damage…” To her surprise, Emily started laughing. “Why are you laughing?” She whined through her tears.

“It’s just...I knew pregnancy would come with some crazy mood swings. I just assumed they would be mine.” She gripped Alison’s shoulder. “Ali, come here.” Emily motioned for her to sit next to her on the bed.

Alison scooted to her feet and nearly fell backwards on the bed next to Emily. Emily caught her. Alison couldn’t help but smile at her.

“I’m a mess.” She sniffled. Her mascara was running down her face.

“It’s understandable. Tonight was rough.” Emily brushed her hair aside.

“I knew you would protect me,” Alison said quietly.

“Always.” Emily kissed her forehead.

“You stood up to Ian. And you called my brother out.” She blinked slowly.

“I did.”

“Ian called you smurfette.” She furrowed her brow angrily.

“He did.”

“But your hair is purple.”

It made Emily chuckle softly. Alison realized she wasn’t making any sense. But she didn’t care. She reached up and touched Emily’s face.

“I’m _really_ drunk,” Alison sighed.

“No way.” Emily feigned surprise.

“You know what would make this perfect?” Alison laid her other hand against Emily’s hip.

“What?”

“Let’s get naked and do things.”

“Mmm.” Emily nuzzled her nose against Alison’s. “Not while you’re drunk.”

“You never let me have any fun.” Alison pouted.

“You have _all_ of the fun.”

“Yeah. Sometimes a little too much of it.” Alison made a face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so wasted. I freaked out about what Caleb was saying about Wilden and Noel and all that stuff about tracking whoever is harassing you. I thought we’d have a definite answer by now. And it gets more dangerous for you every day. You _and_ the baby.” She put her palm against Emily’s belly. Her skin was always so warm.

Alison’s eyes were soft and filled with tears. Her gentle touch reminded Emily of the lingering innocence Alison possessed. She was a little firecracker. There was no doubt about that. But she also had a kind heart that she’d opened up to Emily. Emily smiled softly at her. There was a powerful connection of intimacy between them.

Alison kept her hand in place. She peered into Emily’s eyes. Knowing that there was a life stirring inside of her forged something into their love that neither one of them could explain.

Alison knew the second she’d fallen in love with Emily. She could remember the way her heart reacted to their kiss when they were kids. She’d never felt that kind of passion before. The years had only strengthened that feeling. And when she found Emily again she knew she could never let that love slip through her fingers again. She knew she loved her.

It was the same with the baby. She had never dreamed that she’d fall in love with a child she didn’t even know, a child that she wasn’t even biologically connected to. But she remembered the instant she’d fallen in love with Emily’s daughter. She remembered the way her heart had ached in the best way when she saw her heartbeat for the first time. She remembered the way she’d felt when she looked at Emily and saw the fierce love in her eyes that she had for her baby.

She remembered thinking that she would do absolutely anything for Emily and the baby. She had made a place in her soul for Emily’s daughter. She just knew that when she was born her tiny little hands would steal her heart. And Alison was okay with that. Because it was in letting herself love an innocent child that she was able to understand what it meant to love someone more than she loved life itself.

But it also terrified her. Because love came at a cost. She thought about all the dangers that Emily was facing. And she knew that with love came the paralyzing fear of loss. She wasn’t sure she would be able to cope if anything happened to the baby. Sometimes the weight of the fear was so crushing that she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Alison rubbed her palm in circles against Emily’s stomach. She oftentimes imagined that the baby could feel her...and she would know her. She wanted that. She wanted to be a part of the connection that Emily had with her child, because she wanted to be connected to every part of Emily.

“When Spencer told me you fainted yesterday, I thought the worst. I thought...”

“I did, too.” Emily nodded. Her last words to Noel before she passed out had been about the baby. In fact, if she had to choose between the life of her child and her own life she would choose her child every time.

“We’re walking a _really_ dangerous line here.” Alison’s voice cracked. “You could have lost her.”

“I know.” Emily got choked up thinking about it.

“Em, I...” She was trying really hard not to cry again. “I know I overreact and I do stupid shit. And I’m sorry. All of this is just really stressful.”

Emily sighed. She had never meant to become a burden to Alison. She knew that Alison was worried. She didn’t want her to hurt herself over it. Emily had doubts about their relationship sometimes, only because she was worried about what her life was doing to Alison’s life.

She was constantly reminded that anything she went through, Alison went through, too. That was a lot to put on anyone. Emily cared about Alison more than anything else in the world. She would do anything it took to protect her. Sometimes she wondered if protecting her meant walking away and letting her have a normal life. But she couldn’t bear the thought of that. She couldn’t bear the idea of being without her.

“I’m so sorry that I was trying to boss you around.” Alison laid her head against Emily’s arm.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t listen more to your concerns.” Emily reached up and stroked her hair.

Alison made a quiet noise between a content sigh and a drunken hiccup. Emily closed her eyes and swallowed a knot that was building up in her throat. She took a deep breath.

“I need to ask you something and I need an honest answer.”

Emily was terrified to ask, but she had to know. She had to know before she fell in deeper with this girl. The thumping bass from downstairs was making her heart beat faster.

“Is this too much for you?” Emily questioned.

Alison lifted her head and looked at her in confusion.

“I don’t understand.”

“Me. My life. Is it too much? I mean…you’re worrying about things that no normal teenager should have to worry about. I’m worried that my problems are going to hurt you in the long run. I come with a _ton_ of baggage…”

Alison grabbed her hands and pulled them towards her, almost as if she was desperate to let her go.

“Emily, I would do anything for you. _Anything_. Do you understand me? This is just a learning curve for me. You’re not making my life any harder. Tonight was just…” She reached up and rubbed her tired eyes, “…I just wanted you to have a good time. I wanted you to have a break from all the bad things that have happened to you.” She made a face and then sucked in a drunken gasp. “I don’t mean…not…not her.”

Alison looked at Emily’s stomach and put her hand against it again.

“I don’t think the baby is a bad thing. She’s going to be so wonderful. She already is. Just like you.”

She was so busy nervously babbling that she didn’t see Emily’s lips curling into a smile. She couldn’t see that Emily was looking at her like she was her entire world. She had no idea that Emily felt her words in her heart and soul.

“I would never say anything bad about her. Ever. I was talking about the messages and the psycho booby traps. There is just so much going on in your life and I just want to make it better for you…”

“Ali…” Emily gently caressed her cheek to get her attention. “Stop talking.” She did the only thing she knew how to do to get Alison to calm down…she kissed her.

It worked. Alison grabbed Emily, her hands greedy and controlling. She tugged against her, trying to pull her down against the bed. Emily kept her weight on her knee as she lowered Alison against the mattress, their bodies connected as they moved down. She kept her hand against Alison’s cheek, cradling her jaw. Her entire face was red from the mixture of the alcohol and their spontaneous passion.

As their lips moved together Alison slowly moved her hand up Emily’s shirt until her palm was resting between her bosom. The timing of their kisses matched the thrumming of Emily’s heartbeat.

Alison smiled against Emily’s mouth. She pulled her hand out from underneath Emily’s shirt and gripped the back of her thigh, trying to push their bodies closer as they moved together in a rhythm that Emily had set. Alison felt like she was melting into the mattress. She was content to let Emily have the control.

Alison’s kisses were slow and sensual. She reached up and touched Emily’s cheek.

“I want to be with you, Em.” Alison uttered between her heated breaths. “I want to be with you forever. No matter what.”

“I know.” Emily kissed her again.

That’s what she was afraid of. Alison’s life was slowly starting to unravel. And Emily knew it was because of her. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Because despite the fact that they’d only been together for a few months, she was hopelessly in love with Alison. And she knew that Alison was in love with her, too.

And that was dangerous. Love created danger. Love blinded people to the boiling pot of water they were sitting in. Isaac had loved her, too. But would he have been better off without her? Where would he be if Emily had kept walking that day at church? And where would Alison be if Emily stayed with her when she knew damn well how dangerous it was for her to do so?


	17. Choices

* * *

**Chapter 17:**

**Choices**

Two days later Alison and Emily were in Alison’s bedroom. Emily was leaning against the headboard. Alison was curled against her, her cheek resting above her stomach. The steady rhythmic beating of the brunette’s heart thrummed against Alison’s ear. Alison sighed loudly. She was sulking.

“New York is so far away.” Alison frowned, nuzzling deeper against the brunette’s chest.

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Emily laughed, threading her fingers through Alison’s hair. “It’s only for a day.”

Alison crinkled her brow. She didn’t like the idea of being away from Emily. She didn’t like the idea of looking at schools so far away from Rosewood. She knew the trip to look at the campus was just a day trip, but the prospect of moving there for school without Emily made her feel uneasy. She’d been dragging her heels in doing anything college related for NYU because she didn’t want to leave Rosewood. But Emily insisted that she follow her heart. Alison stubbornly argued that her heart was telling her to stay with her and the baby.

“I think I’m going to blow it off.” Alison wrapped her arm around Emily’s body.

“Ali, don’t.” Emily shook free of her grasp. She swung her legs out and stretched her back. She was starting to feel the extra weight in her muscles. Her kid was really stretching her to her limits. “This is the last day for tours before they close it down for the holidays.”

She climbed to her feet. Alison crawled over to the edge of the bed and stood next to her.

“I’ll go after the holidays.” She threw her arms around Emily’s shoulders.

Emily knew she was stalling. She knew she wouldn’t go after the holidays. She wouldn’t go at all unless she pushed her to. It was hard for Emily to do. The last thing she wanted was for Alison to leave Rosewood. But she refused to be the reason that Alison gave up on her future. They would figure something out if Alison decided to go to college out of state. Emily was certain of it.

“We’ve talked about this a million times.” Emily kissed her. “You’re not sacrificing your future for us.”

“I have lots of options for my future.” Alison bit back stubbornly.

“I know, but you had your heart set on New York.” She reached for the NYU brochure on Alison’s dresser.

“My heart is set on more than one thing.” Alison walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, brushing her hand against Emily’s stomach, leaving her palm against her bump. Emily couldn’t help but smile. “Besides, we don’t even know if I’m going to get in.”

“You’re going to get in.” Emily had no doubt in her mind. She’d helped Alison put her application and highlight reel together. “Plus, it’s probably best for you to get out of town while the heat cools down with Jason and Ian.”

After Jason had hauled his best friend to the station the cops had come around to ask Alison some questions. Of course, it was her word against Ian’s, and she was already on record with Wilden’s harassment, so the cops had been skeptical of her claims. If it hadn’t been for the fact that half a dozen kids witnessed Ian’s actions no one would have believed her. It made Emily irate. They had been afraid that the justice system would fail Alison again, but the police actually offered a helpful resolution.

A restraining order had been put in place. But that wasn’t enough for Jason. After Alison told him everything Jason took justice into his own hands. He’d taken a baseball bat to Ian’s truck and then had beaten the hell out of him and told him if he came within 10 miles of Alison that he’d choke him with his own entrails. Ian didn’t argue with him. He’d made himself scarce.

“We’ve got _another_ spoiled little rich kid mad at us. I can’t leave you here alone knowing that. Come with me.” Alison suggested.

“I have to work.”

She felt selfish for not asking to take the day off to go with her, but she also wanted to honor her commitments to her job.

She was a little concerned about Alison being in New York at the same time as Courtney and Isaac, but she knew the chances of them running into each other was slim. The campus was huge. New York was a really big place. And Alison was going with friends.

Aria was going to look at the campus, too. Her parents had suggested Mike go, too. It had somehow turned into a road trip. Emily surmised that Ella Montgomery had a lot to do with it. She knew that Alison didn’t have much supervision in her life, and she’d learned that the blonde was going to NYU around the same time as Aria. So she’d pushed Mike to go with the girls. They’d look out for one another.

“You’d really let your poor defenseless little girlfriend go to the big city all by herself?” Alison batted her eyelids, trying to guilt her.

“I’d hardly call you poor and defenseless.” Emily scoffed. “Besides, you’ve been there plenty of times without me. And your sparring is getting pretty good. Plus, it’s not like you’re going to be alone. Mike and Aria aren’t bad road trip buddies. You’ll be in good hands.” Emily rubbed Alison’s arms. “They’ll keep you safe.”

“But who is going to keep you safe?” Alison reached out to straighten Emily’s shirt collar.

She was looking forward to seeing Emily getting a new wardrobe. Hanna had suggested it, and as much as it pained Alison to admit it, the girl had good taste. She would dress Emily to perfection.

“I’ll be with Toby, Jake, and Ezra. We’ve been busier since school is out, so we’re all working.”

“That means more people are coming and going.” Alison hated that idea. “The guys don’t know what’s really going on. How will they know to look out for you?”

“Because they always look out for me. It’s just what they do. We look out for one another. And Caleb and Hanna have my back, too.”

“I don’t like it. We still don’t know who is after you.” Alison’s face softened. She had bad dreams about terrible things happening to Emily and the baby.

“Caleb is on it.”

“If he was so 'on it' he’d have your stalker in handcuffs by now.” Alison muttered.

Emily lowered her chin and cut her eyes at her in disapproval.

“He’s doing a lot for us. He’s risking his probation to try and keep us safe. I don’t want to hear any more snotty comments about him. Or Hanna.”

“Sorry.” Alison gripped Emily’s hips with her palms. “You know how I get. I’m just protective.”

“Bordering codependent.” Emily gave her a hard time.

“Look at you.” Alison spun Emily around to face the mirror. She leaned forward, resting her chin against Emily’s shoulder. “You’re gorgeous, inside and out. Is it any wonder why I care so much?” She slipped her hands down against Emily’s stomach again. “I’ll be your codependent ho-dependent.”

Emily rolled her eyes, catching the motion in the mirror. She laughed.

“Just lighten up on our friends. They’re trying to help.” Emily turned around to face Alison. “And go to New York. You deserve a break from all of this. Do something normal. Everything here will be fine. Wilden hasn’t done anything since he visited the records department…”

“That’s not true. Caleb said he made a phone call to someone out of town.”

“His entire family lives out of state.”

“What do we know about his family?” Alison questioned.

“His parents never married. He grew up in Rochester with his mom. His dad was MIA for a lot of his childhood. Apparently he sent child support though. His mother was fairly well-off. His dad paid his dues, too. He was trying to get him into an Ivy League school, but his grades weren’t great. He somehow did end up getting into UPenn even though all the other Ivies rejected him. He flunked out the first semester and ended up moving here to live with his mother’s sister before she died.”

“You think he’s looking for his dad?” Alison mulled it over.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Caleb says the DNA profile would show more specific markers if that was the case though.”

“Any idea on where his dad is now?”

“Last place on record was Oklahoma, but that was ten years ago.”

“I don’t like any of this.” Alison said, her voice uneasy.

“We’re watching him.” Emily touched her hand. “We know everything about his every movement, right down to the time he reads his morning sports recap on the crapper. He’s oddly regular.”

“Ugh.” Alison made a face. “And what about Noel?”

“Still in Jamaica with his family. And the twins haven’t left their house in weeks. All of our top suspects are under control.”

“What about the people in the shadows we know nothing about?” Alison questioned.

“I’ll make a note to avoid shadowy places.” Emily quipped with a smile.

“I still think we’re better off together.” Alison argued. Emily was starting to question that. She was starting to wonder if they were safer apart. “Just come with me. Please?”

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Emily lowered her head and took a deep breath. Her jaw tensed. Her chin was stiff. She felt queasy at the thought of it.

“Isaac is in New York.”

“Oh.” Alison looked conflicted. She pursed her lips in thought. No wonder Emily was fighting so hard to stay in Rosewood. “I thought you’d been acting kind of weird.”

“Have I?”

“You just seemed a little off. I thought maybe you were spacey because of…” She touched Emily’s stomach gently. “I know _pregnancy brain_ is a real thing.”

“No kidding. I poured orange juice in my cereal yesterday morning.” Emily rubbed her temple.

She’d been noticing more lapses in her memory and judgement. Being dazed and confused was the worst. It was hard to not have complete control of her body.

“Maybe your brain is trying to tell you that you could use a break.” Alison cupped her neck. “There is _so_ much to do in the city. Plus, running into him would be like one in a million.”

“Eight million. But that’s not the point.” Emily didn’t budge on her decision. “I’m just not comfortable with it. I don’t care if it’s one in a million or a billion or a trillion. That _one_ is the one person I can’t face right now. Even if there is the _slightest_ chance that we could run into each other…” She shook her head. “I can’t see him. I’m not ready. I don’t know what I’d say.”

“Em, no one knows,” Alison softly touched her arm. “You’re still hiding it really well.”

“That doesn’t matter. Not with him. Because I _can’t_ lie to him. I can’t look him in the eyes and ignore the fact that I’m having his child.”

“So…you _are_ going to tell him?” Alison questioned. “Someday?”

“I don’t know.” Emily had a sour look on her face.

There were days she hated herself for keeping the pregnancy a secret from Isaac. And then there were days she remembered how terrible his family was and how she would never want her daughter to be subjected to the likes of Courtney or her parents.

That psychopathic blonde would probably try to smother her daughter in her sleep. The thought of Isaac’s older sister getting anywhere near her child terrified her. Sometimes she had nightmares that Courtney showed up in the delivery room and yanked the baby out of her and then made a run for it.

Courtney was totally careless when it came to living breathing things. She’d single-handedly gotten their class pets killed two years in a row.

In eighth grade it had been a furry gerbil named Hank. She claimed she’d accidentally left the cage open and that Hank had climbed in with the laundry and hadn’t survived the washer.

The second had been a Blue-Tongued skink in their ninth grade science class. She’d let it sun itself outside and a bird of prey had dive-bombed the docile little reptile.

Yet despite her poor record with animals, Courtney was oddly good with children. They found her charming and entertaining, which was a scary thought. She could easily be one of those _Dateline_ specials...a woman off her rocker offering kids all the toys and candies in the world to gain their trust.

Courtney seemed to have an affinity for babies. They’d volunteered at a children’s swim academy their junior year. Courtney had been a natural with the little ones. All except one little toddler who had been afraid of her. Courtney had tried repeatedly to get him into the water, but he’d gravitated more towards Emily. And where Courtney had failed, Emily had succeeded.

Emily had seen a cold steely look on the blonde’s face that day. But in the blink of an eye Courtney had been able to shift that darkness into a light that the children admired. She could turn it on and off like no one else in the world. Even the parents loved her. Some asked her to babysit.

It was a scary thought that there were parents out there who willingly let Courtney watch their children. But the fact of the matter was that she was a good babysitter. She had never fawned over children before their junior year. But something changed over the winter that year. It was like a switch had been flipped. And she was suddenly obsessed with kids. It only got more intense as the year went on.

The day that the movers had come to Emily’s house Courtney had been at Nick’s house babysitting Nick’s little cousin. It was right after Emily had dumped Isaac. Courtney had been watching Emily from afar.

She’d seen the movers with the boxes. She pretended to be invested in the baby, but behind her sunglasses her eyes were peeled on the action at Emily’s house.

Emily’s mom had been chasing the big bulky movers around telling them how to handle their valuables. She’d nagged them for not treating their fragile items with proper care.

Courtney had been sitting outside on the lawn on a blanket with Nick’s cousin. The little boy was chewing on a teething ring. Emily had every intention of ignoring her, but Courtney inserted herself into the drama. She lived for drama. She lived to get a rise out of Emily.

 _“Your mom is kind of a bitch.”_ She’d pulled her sunglasses off.

Emily stopped in her tracks and clutched her hands. It had triggered an instinctual defensive reaction. No one was allowed to call her parents on their crap except for her. Her mother _was_ a bitch, but she was still _her_ mother. There was a tether between them that would always keep them connected. Emily would always go to bat for her, even if her mother wouldn’t go to bat for her. Their relationship was complicated, but they were still blood.

She reminded herself that there was an infant present. She took a breath and calmly faced Courtney.

_“Don’t talk about my mom that way.”_

Courtney’s mother was worse. She’d called Emily an abomination and said that her presence was an atrocity after she found out about the pregnancy. Breaking up with Isaac had been the only option after that.

On the plus side she’d seen less of Courtney since the break-up. She’d been waiting for the blonde to drop the bomb about her sexuality, but she never did. Courtney had been fairly tame since Emily had kicked her ass. Something about her was different since that day in the locker room. Emily couldn’t quite put her finger on it. But she seemed almost…lost.

 _“I didn’t know you guys were moving.”_ Courtney’s face morphed into a strange mixture of irritation and dejection.

Emily couldn’t wait to get as far away from Courtney as possible. But her heart was aching because she was leaving Isaac behind, too.

_“My dad got a promotion back east.”_

The finality of the words ‘back east’ seemed to resonate with Courtney in a weird way.

_“You’re like MOVING moving? Away from Texas?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“So, you’re just going to leave everyone…leave Isaac?”_

Her choice of phrase had seemed a little odd to Emily. There was a strange sense of emptiness in her tone.

 _“I don’t have a choice.”_ Emily had tried to walk away, but the baby had turned towards her and grabbed her pants.

He’d looked up at her and cooed. His chubby little fingers held her in place. She’d glanced down at him and he gave her a gummy smile. She’d smiled back at him.

 _“Did you even say goodbye?”_ There was a quiet sting in Courtney’s voice.

 _“Like you care?”_ Emily had scoffed.

 _“I care about my brother.”_ Her face was completely neutral.

_“You have a funny way of showing it.”_

Courtney had flinched and her cheeks had turned red. She’d given Emily a snotty look.

_“Does he know about this?”_

_“We haven’t talked much since we split.”_

Not that it was any of Courtney’s business. Of course, she was going to _have_ to call him now. Otherwise Courtney would tell him. And Emily couldn’t let Courtney be the one to break that news.

_“He misses you.”_

The words were like a dagger to her chest. Emily missed him, too. So much. But she didn’t respond to Courtney’s statement.

 _“You broke his heart, you know.”_ There was something deeply disturbing about the look on her face. There was a hint of a dark smile, like she relished in her brother’s pain.

_“Things just didn’t work. And this move pretty much sealed it…”_

_“We both know that’s not why you two didn’t work,”_ she’d smirked.

Emily flashed her an angry look. She wasn’t about to let Courtney hold her under the water again. She wouldn’t let her take back the control.

_“Don’t push me again, Courtney. You won’t like what happens if you do.”_

For some reason, her threat shut Courtney up. The blonde’s body tensed up. She flinched and pulled back. Her eyes glazed over with a quiet sense of something that looked like sorrow. She reached for one of the baby’s rattles. She stared at it before shaking it to get the little boy’s attention.

The noise caused him to whip his head to the side. But he was still gripping Emily’s pant legs.

Courtney kept her focus on the baby, moving the toy around in his line of sight, trying to keep him transfixed…in a trance. She was like a snake charmer without all of the charm and no snake.

 _“Babies are cool as shit. They’re like little molds of clay. You can teach them anything.”_ She was speaking to Emily, but her eyes were on the little boy. _“They process everything you say and do. I always thought that was interesting. That you could just take something so malleable and shape them however you want.”_ She’d moved the toy in front of the baby. Her eyes were glistening in a weird way. _“I think I’d be a really great mom.”_

Emily had to stifle her sarcastic laugh. Courtney as a mother was a terrifying thought. Any child of hers would be doomed.

 _“Do you want kids?”_ The question had startled Emily.

She’d felt a flutter of nerves in her stomach. At least...she thought it was nerves. She wasn’t sure what a moving child in her belly felt like yet, but the tiny little thing was only a few weeks along. She thought about the pregnancy tests that she’d packed away. And she thought about the disapproving looks on her parents’ faces when she’d told them. She thought about the trip she’d taken to Planned Parenthood. She thought about sitting in that office and considering her options. She’d walked out with an idea of what her choices were. But she still had no idea what she wanted to do.

She was staring at the little boy at her feet. She was so focused on him that she didn’t see Courtney staring at her.

 _“Maybe when you’re older?”_ Courtney looked at her with a knowing smile…like she knew a secret, like she knew _her_ secret.

It was unnerving.

Before Emily could respond, the little boy twisted his little body and looked up at Emily again with a stupid grin on his face.

He’d grunted and whined and wildly pulled on her pants, desperately trying to get her attention. He held his teething ring up in the air, like he was trying to give it to her.

She’d crouched down and he’d clapped in excitement. He’d reached for her with a smile. Courtney watched the interaction curiously. She knew the real Emily. She knew the Emily from the locker room. She knew the Emily who spit fire and threw punches. But Emily was so gentle with children. She would be incredible with her own children.

She peered at the brunette, trying to picture her as a mother. She was trying to imagine what her children would look like. Any child of hers would be gorgeous.

The little boy was completely enamored with Emily.

 _“Muh…”_ he’d uttered in baby speak. _“Muh-mm…muh.”_

Courtney’s thoughts suddenly turned sour. The idea of Emily having a baby pissed her off. The idea of a beautiful baby loving her didn’t sit right with her.

Something changed in Courtney’s demeanor. Something snapped. Emily wasn’t worthy of the baby’s attention. She wouldn’t stand for Nick’s cousin liking Emily more than he liked her. She was supposed to be the one in charge. She was supposed to be the mommy. She couldn’t stand the thought of Emily bonding with babies. It made her irrationally angry.

Emily was so busy making goofy faces at the baby that she didn’t see Courtney pinch his chubby little thigh.

A look of confused pain washed across his face. He jerked back and started wailing. Courtney swooped in to pull him away from Emily.

 _“You made him cry! What did you do to him?”_ She’d whipped the baby up so quickly that his head bobbled on his neck.

Tears were streaming down his face. Emily stumbled to her feet. Had she done something to upset him? He seemed fine. But she didn’t know much about babies. Maybe one of her faces had scared him.

 _“What’s going_ _on?”_ Nick had rushed down from the front porch.

He had two drinks in his hands. He put them down on the blanket and gently put his hand against the back of his cousin’s head to try and stop the squalling. He was more paternal than Emily had ever realized. The baby’s full blown cry turned into a subtle whimper. Courtney passed the baby over to Nick.

 _“What’s wrong, bud?”_ Nick bounced his cousin in a soothing manner.

 _“He was fine until SHE came over.”_ Courtney had spit hatefully. She peered at Emily, a devious smirk on her face. _“It’s a good thing you’re moving. I would hate for him to see your stupid face every day and be more traumatized than he already is. Now go away. Your presence is upsetting him.”_

Emily had looked at the tears streaking the baby’s face and had felt immensely guilty. Everything had gone so wrong so fast.

That day had planted the seed in her mind that she wouldn’t be a good mother. Courtney had gotten in her head one last time.

Now she was standing in her girlfriend’s bedroom, looking at her pregnant reflection looking back at her. And she was plagued with questions and fears and doubts.

Alison’s room had become too silent for her liking. Alison could see that she was lost in thought. She often wondered where Emily went when she got lost in thought. She assumed sometimes it was about the baby. Other times, she could see pieces of her past haunting her.

“Em?” Alison softly touched her arm. “You okay?”

Her touch snapped Emily out of it.

“I’m fine.” She forced a smile on her face.

“You don’t think Isaac would show up here to surprise you, do you?”

Emily frowned.

“Well I _wasn’t_. Until now.” She was hoping she’d made it crystal clear that she wasn’t available. Isaac had never been the type of guy to intrude. He always asked for permission. He’d even asked her father if he could ask her out on a date before he asked Emily. “He did mention something about wanting to get together, but I told him I was busy.”

“Oh?” She tried not to let her envious tone give away how much that bothered her. “What’s he even doing up here anyway? I thought he was in Texas.” Alison turned her nose up and frowned.

“Courtney’s boyfriend goes to NYU. They came up for the holidays to visit.”

“God, _she’s_ there, too?” Alison grimaced. “And she has a boyfriend?” What kind of idiot fell for her act? “I can’t believe there is someone stupid enough to date the devil.”

“Nick is actually kind of brilliant. You wouldn’t think so by looking at him, but he’s in Mensa. I mean, when it comes to her he’s like any other horny boy. But he has one of those _A Beautiful Mind_ type of brains.”

“Then why is he with her?” Alison made a face.

 _“She’s a freak in the sack,”_ he’d told her once.

“Because God made a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operate one at a time.”

Alison snickered.

“Is that in some Sex Ed class that I skipped?”

“It’s Robin Williams.” Emily laughed. Her dad loved his stand-up comedy.

“I didn’t know that.” Alison smiled. “You learn something new every day. _O Captain! My Captain!_ ” She put her hand on Emily’s hip. “See, I don’t need college. I’ve got you to teach me all I need to know.”

“Ali…” Emily said, her inflection verging on a warning.

“Why do you want me to go to New York so bad? You have another ho on the side?”

“Yeah, her name is Krystal. She has a preggo fetish. We meet up every Thursday night and bang outside a biker bar.” Emily snorted sarcastically.

“I know you’re joking, but you came up with that a little too quick, missy. I’ve got my eye on you.” She playfully scrutinized her girlfriend.

“Not from New York, you don’t.”

“Fine. Maybe I’ll look this Courtney bitch up and have a few words with her.” Alison lifted her hand and casually filed her thumbnail against her index fingernail.

“Don’t even joke about that.” All of the lighthearted tenderness had faded from her face. “Don’t go looking for her. I mean it.”

“It’s either that or you come with me.” Alison’s playful tone had diminished, too.

She was challenging Emily, and Emily knew it. But Emily didn’t want to fight with her. She knew why Alison was pushing back so hard. She knew that the blonde was scared. She was scared, too. They were both scared of what was going to happen in the future.

“We both made commitments. It’s important to stick to them.” Emily knew that was her father talking. He was always on top of her about following through on things.

“You seem really shaken up about this, Em.” Alison’s forehead crinkled in concern.

“I’m not going to lie. I am. But I made this bed. I have to lie in it. You don’t.”

“But I want to.”

“I know.” Emily sighed. “And so far you have. I’ve let you, because I want you with me. It’s probably selfish to admit that, but it’s true. But I draw the line at derailing something you’ve worked your entire life for. With your SAT scores and your highlight reel you could really go places. And that starts with you taking that leap. I don’t want to stand in your way.”

“You’re not standing in my way. You elevate me.” Alison caressed her cheek with a smile. “You make me better.”

“Do yourself a favor and just branch out. If you hate it there I won’t say another word about it.”

“Seriously?”

“If you can honestly come back from that visit and tell me it’s something you don’t want then I promise you won’t hear another peep out of me.”

Alison considered the offer. Her eyes narrowed in thought. She mashed her lips together until they formed a thin line.

“What about your doctor’s appointment this afternoon?” Alison asked.

“I moved it to Wednesday so you could be there like you wanted to be.” Emily laid her hand against her belly. “We’ll get to see how much you’re growing, baby girl.” She glanced down at her stomach. Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s. Emily peered into Alison’s eyes. “You’ve run out of excuses…”

Alison grunted. She knew Emily was right.

“Tell your mommy to stop being stubborn and let me do what I want.”

“Or she can tell you that you’re being ridiculous.” Emily leaned forward and pecked her lips. “You’re going. I refuse to let my life screw yours up.” Emily put her foot down.

Alison wanted to argue, but when she looked into Emily’s soft brown eyes she couldn’t fight back. Alison was a fighter in many ways, but Emily always rendered her completely helpless.

That’s how she ended up on NYU’s campus with Mike and Aria four hours later. They were bundled up in layers to fight the cold weather. Alison was used to the chill, but it felt like it was colder in New York than it was in Pennsylvania.

They took their time exploring the campus. Aria was looking at the art department. Mike tagged along, jokingly calling himself ‘The muscle’. Aria quickly reminded him that she had won every fight they’d ever had.

“Yeah, but like…if you got hit by a bus I’d be the most skilled fighter here.” Mike grinned.

“Did you just threaten to push me into traffic?” Aria frowned at her brother.

A look of guilt washed across his face.

“Don’t tell mom and dad.” Mike grimaced.

Alison trailed behind the squabbling siblings. She had been to NYU before. She’d been to New York several times in her life. It looked bigger and brighter every time she came back for a visit. She forgot how much she loved the buzzing energy of the city. Everyone was busy and in a hurry. And everyone seemed important.

It was freezing, but she didn’t mind walking through Washington Square Park and admiring all the college kids hanging out, drinking coffee, and tossing a football around…like it wasn’t 30 degrees outside.

It said something about the school that people could have gone home for the holidays, but that they chose to stay. Everyone seemed so unbothered. It was such a different environment than the sleepy little town she’d grown up in.

She’d traveled quite a bit with her parents growing up. She had the entire world at her disposal, but something about New York City remained unobtainable in some way. It’s like the city was incomplete without her in it. She hated to admit it, but Emily was right.

The confidence in the air was staggering. She loved everything about it, from the food trucks to the crowds to the weird dank smell. New York had always been one of her favorite places to travel. But something about experiencing it without her family felt fresh and new. Something about the idea of living in the city felt right.

She cursed Emily for making her visit. And she cursed herself for enjoying it.

She kept her eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary. Emily had deleted most of her pictures from her past. She’d said it felt like it was a way to cleanse things. But she had an old group shot from the swim team that showed Courtney front and center. She told Alison if she saw her to run as far away as possible.

Halfway through their visit she hadn’t seen anyone that stood out the way that Courtney had in that photo. But in New York it was easy for people to hide. So Alison remained extra alert.

They looked at the library, which Alison fell in love with. It felt like it was a world of its own. It had so many books. They went to the Center for Performing Arts next. The theater space was huge. Alison could picture herself on stage with an adoring crowd in front of her, Emily in the front row.

They went to check out the sports management program, because Alison thought Emily might be interested in it. Aria was very bubbly about the idea of Emily joining them. Alison wasn’t so sure. Emily had been vague about her future. She had a lot on her mind, and Alison knew it. So when Aria smiled in exuberance and said, _“the campus is gorgeous”_ the only thing Alison could think about was how far away she’d be from Emily and the baby.

Alison glanced around the sea of faces. She saw a lot of happy couples. It made her feel sad. She wished Emily could be having this _one_ normal experience. But her life wasn’t normal.

She continued to search for the bitch who haunted her girlfriend’s dreams. If she had thought about it she would have tried to find out more about Courtney’s boyfriend. She could show up at his dorm. Courtney would probably be there. She could make her pay for what she’d done to Emily. But she also risked running into Isaac if she did that. That wouldn’t be fair to Emily.

Instead, she opted to just keep her eyes peeled. So far she hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary. But that was the thing about the city...everything was so ordinarily unordinary. Chameleons easily blended into their scenery. It was easy for people to hide in the crowd.

It wasn’t until they were almost done with their tour that she noticed someone peering at her from around a corner. She saw a wisp of blonde hair and a long red coat flapping in the breeze.

After several more stops and visiting different buildings she was convinced she was being followed. Aria and Mike were talking about grabbing hot dogs from a food cart. Alison told them she was going to hang back. She wanted to see if the blonde made another appearance.

She watched Aria and Mike walk down the street. She grabbed her phone and pretended to text. She secretly turned the camera on and flipped it to selfie mode so she could see what was going on behind her.

She caught a glimpse of the girl. All she could think about was how Emily had warned her about what a psychopath Courtney was. All she could think about was Courtney making Emily feel uncomfortable and trying to hurt her. She thought about everything Courtney had done to her perfectly wonderful girlfriend. She thought about the damage she could do to Emily and the baby. And she snapped.

She whipped around just in time to see the coat disappearing behind a corner.

The cold air burned her lungs as she jogged down the street, her anger at an all-time high. It had to be her. And if she was the person tormenting Emily she was going to put a stop to it.

Her heels clacked against the ground as she picked up her pace. When she rounded the corner she saw the girl, who had started sprinting down the sidewalk. Alison’s calves were burning. Her muscles were freezing up. But she pushed herself to run harder. For Emily. For her baby.

She quickly caught up to the girl. She reached out to grab her coat and ended up nearly overtaking her, sending them both tumbling into the grass next to the sidewalk. The ground was cold and hard.

Alison sat on top of her, moving just enough to flip her on to her back. She wanted Courtney to know who was taking her down. She wanted her to know that Alison Lauren DiLaurentis was not someone to be fucked with. The hood was obscuring part of her face, but she starting yelping.

“Get off of me or I’ll scream!” The girl struggled.

“Were you watching me?” Alison snapped.

“Wh-what? No. I…I’m here visiting NYU with my mom. It’s my top pick.”

“Why did you run?”

“Because you were chasing me!”

Alison yanked the hood down. She scrutinized the girl’s face. She looked like Courtney, but Alison had only seen the one picture of her.

“What do you want with us, Courtney?” Alison spit hatefully.

“Who...what? My name isn’t Courtney!” She flinched. “It’s Bethany. Bethany Young. I’m from Ohio. This is my first time ever in New York.” Her voice cracked. “Please don’t hurt me.”

“It’s not going to work. I know who you are.” Alison squeezed her wrists tightly, preventing her from hitting back. All of the training she’d been doing with Jake had kicked in.

“What do you want from me? I don’t have any money.” There was genuine fear on her face.

Alison continued to stare at her. The longer she looked the more she was uncertain she had the right girl.

A few seconds later she got confirmation that it wasn’t Courtney.

“Bethany, sweetheart, where are you? I got directions to the Center for Performing Arts!”

Alison scooted off of the girl. She swallowed a knot in her throat and let her go. Bethany scrambled to her feet.

“Mom!” She called out, her voice nearly broken. “Over here!”

“I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Alison dusted herself off.

An older woman appeared. She looked like an older version of the girl in the red coat. She saw Alison and cocked her head.

Bethany quickly wiped away her tears.

“My mom was right. New Yorkers are mean,” she muttered.

“I told you not to wander off,” her mother said with a frown. “You’re lucky you ran into another young lady instead of some…ruffian.”

Bethany shot Alison a look and mumbled something about girls being ruffians, too. She raced over to her mother’s side and said something about wanting to make it to a café before it closed.

Alison shook her head and took a deep breath. She had been so sure that she was being watched. She had felt it. Emily had taught her to be aware of her surroundings. Her senses were all on high alert. Something wasn’t right.

The problem was that she had been so focused on the girl that she didn’t see the pair of wandering eyes hiding beneath a baseball cap, blending in with the rest of the crowd. They had watched the whole exchange. The person flipped their hoodie up over the cap that was obscuring their face. Alison’s suspicions had been right. She did have eyes on her. She just wasn’t looking in the right direction.

Those wandering eyes watched as Alison rejoined her friends. They watched as they ate their early dinner. And they watched as Aria, Mike, and Alison climbed into Aria’s car and drove away from the city.

* * *

The holidays went by all too fast. Christmas went by in the blink of an eye. The holiday stirred some feelings in Emily she hadn’t felt before. She knew it was the hormones, but her emotions were all over the place.

Alison’s visit to New York had gone exactly like Emily imagined it would. She had fallen in love with the campus. She had begrudgingly told Emily she was right, but that she was still keeping her options open.

Alison’s plans for the future got Emily thinking about her own.

All she could think about was where she would be this time next year. Would she be holding her little girl in front of a Christmas tree and watching her eyes light up in wonder? Or would she be yearning for her child while watching from afar? What was best for her baby? She couldn’t decide. Would she be any less of a mother if she decided to give her daughter to a family who could provide and care for her?

She had looked into adoption, and it had caused her to feel physically sick. She’d ended up puking in the toilet that night. She’d lost countless nights of sleep over how she would be able to give her daughter the necessities when she could barely take care of herself. She had the little nest egg from Isaac’s parents, and her parents had promised to help. But she knew that would only go so far.

She loved her unborn child so much that it hurt. The more she felt her daughter moving the harder it was for her to fathom the idea of not being in her life. Her baby was changing her, in every way. It was intimidating and terrifying, but at the same time…her heart felt full in the best way.

The holidays had once been a time of wonder, a time for her imagination to dream up all of her desires. But the older she got, the more reality set in. She was being pulled in so many different directions. It was disorienting at times.

It snowed two days before New Years Eve. It wasn’t a heavy blanket. It was just a light dusting. It was just enough to coat the town and give local amateur photographers a plethora of scenic sights to photograph their identical Instagram photos.

The beautiful weather had granted her a reprieve from her emotions. She was able to look outside and just feel at peace. Nature always calmed her. It wasn’t the fiery plethora of colors of autumn, but winter was just as mesmerizing.

She was perfectly content looking at the crystallized ice in the trees, but the cabin fever had set in quickly for her friends. They couldn’t stand being trapped inside.

Hanna was particularly antsy. It had taken all of eight hours for the sassy blonde to formulate a plan to beat her sedentary winter blues.

Less than half a day into the snowstorm she showed up on Emily’s doorstep and dragged her out for a shopping spree. Emily had a feeling Hanna had purposely waited until she knew Alison wouldn’t be around.

Hanna knew that Alison was filling in for a pianist at an encore performance of a Christmas pageant at some high end donor’s daughter’s church play. Her parents had forced her to do it.

“Alison really wanted to come.” Emily resisted.

“Thought you didn’t want her to pamper you with her riches.” Hanna smiled crookedly at Emily.

Emily had refused to take Alison’s money. She had a chip on her shoulder about taking money she hadn’t earned. She still felt guilty about taking the money from Isaac’s parents. She wanted her finances to be in her control. There was something gratifying about holding financial power in her life.

“I already told her she’s not spending a dime on this. She just likes seeing me on the runway.”

“I need it to be just the two of us. I don’t need her murking up my artistic vision.” Hanna started flipping through pictures of clothes on her phone.

“Your artistic vision?” Emily snorted. “My underboob sweat and extra flab don’t exactly make me a neat canvas. I’m hardly a portrait of art.”

“I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” Hanna tapped her foot impatiently.

Emily hesitated at first, because she knew she needed to save every penny that she could, but at the same time she knew she was going to outgrow her clothes, so she let Hanna drag her around town.

She wanted to be annoyed with Hanna’s exuberance, but she was impressed with Hanna’s knack to turn everything she found into an outfit that somehow worked for her personality _and_ hid her growing bump.

They spent most of the day shopping, Hanna finding deal after deal. She was a savage when it came to sales. She knew how to get a discount.

Afterwards, Hanna invited Emily over to her place.

Emily had seen her room before, but she still felt a bit of shock when she walked in and was drowned in a sea of pink. Her room was bright and bubbly and was covered in some of the most girly things Emily had ever seen. She had added a pink fuzzy lamp to her collection since Emily’s last visit, which is something Emily didn’t even know existed.

They hung out for a while, listening to music and talking about their New Year’s resolutions. After a while Hanna got bored and started treating her like a mannequin.

“Pregnant.” Hanna motioned to her body frame and the shirt she had on. She moved a new outfit in front of Emily and smiled. “Not pregnant.”

“Would you keep it down?” Emily frowned at her.

“You do realize my mom left, right?” Hanna asked. “She’s on a strict schedule with her power walks…rain, snow, sleet, or apocalypse. She’s halfway to town right now. It’s just us here.”

“Oh.” Emily loosened up. She watched as Hanna lowered the outfit. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to kill the mood. I’m just on edge about people finding out. The more people who know something the less time it stays a secret.”

“Hey.” Hanna touched her arm reassuringly. “I’m not going to tell anyone. I know this is _your_ decision. If you want to keep it a secret I’ll dress you undercover until there’s a tiny little head popping out of the crotch of your ripped-up faded jeans.”

“That is a _terrible_ sales pitch.” Emily laughed in horror.

“Who else are you going to hire for the job?” Hanna laughed and lifted her brows.

“Will you be designing my hospital gowns?” Emily poked her stomach. She looked down. “That feels weird to say. It’s starting to feel so real.”

She hadn’t thought about the hospital or the birth process. She didn’t really have much of a plan in place. She didn’t know what to expect. She was following the doctor’s orders and taking her prenatal vitamins, but there was still so much she had to learn before the actual birth. And what to expect after.

Sometimes the idea of bringing a little human into the world sent her brain into a state of shock. It was a strange feeling, because she didn’t have many fears in life. It was weird how something so tiny and so fragile could send her into a tailspin.

“Are you…do you know what you want to do yet…after the baby is born, I mean? Are you going to look into adoption or do you want to raise the little rugrat?”

All the information she’d read about adoption flashed through her mind. It made her feel queasy. How did expectant mothers make such a hard decision?

“I don’t know.” Emily pursed her lips in thought. “I know I’m young and that raising a child isn’t easy, but I don’t know if I can stand the thought of a kid out there wondering why their birth mother didn’t want them.”

Hanna’s face softened. She looked at the floor sadly.

“Yeah, I get that.” She chewed on the inside of her lip. It made her look like a little kid. “I still wonder why my dad left me. I remember being little and thinking it was something I did.”

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” Emily asked.

“I mean…in theory.” Hanna nodded, sitting down on her bed. “But a part of me will always wonder. Maybe a kid was just too much pressure.” She glanced at Emily and grimaced. “Sorry, that’s like…really insensitive of me to say.”

“Kids _are_ a lot of pressure.” Emily sank down on the bed next to her. She laid her hand against her stomach. “That’s just a fact of life. But the thing is…billions of people do it and _don’t_ leave.” She put her hand on Hanna’s arm. “Your dad doesn’t know what he’s missing. It’s his loss.”

Hanna smiled weakly at her. She really appreciated Emily’s friendship. They exchanged a silent moment of gratitude for each other and then Hanna inhaled a sharp gasp with a smile on her face and clapped her hands.

“Enough sappy talk.” Hanna bucked up. “I wanna see you strut your stuff in your new wardrobe.”

“You know…” Emily climbed to her feet. “If I’m going to do a fashion show…we should have judges, right?”

Hanna’s face tightened when she realized what Emily was insinuating.

“I am _not_ inviting it into my house.”

“Be nice.” Emily scowled at her.

Hanna gave her an incredulous look. She had seen the way that Alison had acted at the party. She’d seen the old Alison that she despised. She’d seen someone reckless and self-centered who just wanted to be the center of attention without so much as a second thought of the people she claimed to care about.

But Emily saw someone entirely different that night. She saw the fear in Alison’s eyes. She saw a girl who was only trying to cling to normalcy in an abnormal life. She knew how stressed Alison was about the baby and about the stalker. Alison had told her about what had happened in New York. Emily hated what her life was doing to the blonde.

“Can you just cut her some slack? She’s going through a lot.” Emily rubbed her palm against her neck. Her hot flashes had been getting out of control.

“I’m trying, Em. I am. But I don’t get it. What do you see in her?” Hanna frowned.

Emily smiled. How did she explain to Hanna that every time she looked at Alison she felt like she was being hugged by the sun? How did she explain that touching her made her entire body pulse like the beating of her heart? Would Hanna understand that when Alison touched her stomach she could feel the baby responding to her? How could she explain something she didn’t even fully understand herself?

“You ever see somebody, and you _know_ there is more to them…like…you’ve known them your whole life and you can’t imagine existing without them? Like a piece of you that you didn’t even know you were missing?”

She thought about Alison’s soft touch. She thought about the gentle side of herself that she kept hidden. She thought about her smile. Her laugh. Her eyes. There was something behind her eyes that made Emily’s heart beat faster. The girl gave her butterflies every time they kissed.

“It’s like…she takes me on a ride. You know, when I’m on my bike half the time I hop on without really having an end in sight. I don’t care about the destination. I care about the journey, because I know in the end it’s going to lead me exactly where I want to be. She does that for me. She makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.” Emily’s face softened. “For me, it’s just as natural as riding…or boxing. Or swimming. Everything that makes _me_ me.” Emily sighed with a lovesick smile on her face. “I look at her and I see someone no one else sees.”

Hanna could see something in Emily’s eyes. A light. A spark. The way she talked about Alison was the way that Hanna felt about Caleb.

“Ugh.” Hanna groaned, falling backwards on to her bed. She tossed Emily her phone. “Fine. You can tell her she’s invited to the fashion show, but the first hint of her fangs popping out and I’m grabbing some garlic and a wooden stake.”

“You’re a good friend.” Emily reached for her phone.

“I’m a _great_ friend.” Hanna corrected her. She stood up and walked towards her bedroom door.

“Where are you going?”

“To get the crosses and the holy water. Duh.” Hanna smirked as she walked into the hallway. “Tell her the front door will be unlocked.”

Emily laughed as she listened to the sound of Hanna’s receding footsteps. She sat down on Hanna’s bed and looked at all the clothes they’d picked out.

It had been years since she’d gone shopping for clothes. She liked the feel of her old worn clothes. They told a story. But there was something about starting a new chapter with new clothes that was exciting.

She stared at the outfits and something occurred to her. She didn’t have any baby clothes. She had a few of her own baby outfits that her mother had saved, but that was it.

God, she was _so_ woefully unprepared. Did all expectant mothers feel like this?

She rubbed her fingers against a pair of low cut denim jeans with a stretchy waistband.

What would clothes shopping for an infant look like? It’s something she needed to consider.

She reached down and lifted her shirt up to look at her growing belly. Sometimes she looked at herself in the mirror and she hated how her body was changing. But then she remembered there was more to it. For every pound she gained, she thought about every time she felt her daughter move. For every bout of nausea she experienced she thought about the lively little girl she saw on the ultrasounds.

Knowing that she had a life in her…knowing that in a few short months everything was going to be different…it humbled her. It also terrified her. She laid awake in thought every night, doubts plaguing her.

How would she know the right thing to do?

Could she make it on her own with a baby?

Was it fair to her daughter? Was it selfish? Was there a better life?

Was she good enough? Could she provide?

Was her love enough?

She would give her daughter everything and more. The second she found out she was pregnant she realized that she wasn’t just planning for her future anymore. She was planning for her daughter.

But she still had no idea what she wanted to do. How was it possible to plan for a future you knew you were going to have, but still not be sure you were going to have it?

Plans changed. The future wasn’t set in stone. Sometimes circumstances created impossible choices.

And she didn’t know what was right for her. Not yet.

She held her hand against her bump. She felt a knot forming in her throat. Tears burned her eyes. She loved her daughter so very much. And she’d made a promise to her.

_“I’ll always protect you.”_

“I love you so much,” she uttered quietly, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Her face felt hot. “I just want what’s best for you.”

She wished she knew what that was. She agonized over it. She just wanted to do what was best for her child.

She took a breath and looked at the pile of clothes in front of her. She shook off her emotions and glanced at her phone.

She pulled up Alison’s number and sent her a text,

**_WYD?_ **

A few seconds later a message with a photo popped up. When Emily clicked on it an image of Alison filled her screen. She had a pouty look on her face.

**_Went by your house earlier and you weren’t home. Have you abandoned me for the beaches like my family has?_ **

Emily touched the camera on her screen to take a selfie. She snapped a quick shot of her _“are you kidding?”_ face and sent it back to her.

**_What exactly would I wear to the beach these days? A swimsuit for two?_ **

Alison shot back immediately,

**_That’s a lot of pink. That is definitely a girl’s room. Who is she? Why are you with her?_ **

**_My whore Krystal. Don’t worry about it._ **

**_Punk._ **

**_You know you’re my girl, Ali._ **

**_I know. Just in a bad mood. My mother keeps sending me pictures of warm beaches._ **

**_You could have gone with them._ **

**_I wanted to stay here with you._ **

Emily smiled. Alison was notorious for that. She always wanted to stay. Her loyalty was endearing.

**_Want to check out a fashion show?_ **

**_Meh..._ **

**_I’m modeling..._ **

**_Deets. Now._ **

* * *

Alison mean-mugged Hanna when she got to Hanna’s house. She did not appreciate Hanna sneaking in and taking her girlfriend out on the town without her. She was also annoyed at Emily for not taking her up on her offer to pay for the shopping spree.

But all of her agitation melted when she saw Emily’s new wardrobe. She begrudgingly admitted to herself that Hanna had done a decent job.

Emily looked ridiculously hot in her new threads. Alison’s favorite outfit was a pair of dark faded jeans that cut off low enough that it wouldn’t be a problem for her to button them. Hanna had paired it with a black top that teetered on being gothic. It had a natural stretch near the stomach to give off the appearance of the flair being natural. To top it off she’d gotten a new black riding jacket that curved in towards the bottom so it would hide her protruding stomach.

Alison couldn’t take her eyes off of Emily. The confidence that she was rocking made her feel like dragging her to bed and taking the clothes off of her.

“Check you out, Catwoman.” Alison winked. She walked over to observe the outfit up close. She gripped the lapel of the jacket and grinned. “ _Meow,_ Biker babe.”

“Don’t make me sorry I invited you.” Emily rolled her eyes. “So, what do you think?”

“I think I have an idea of something you can ride.” She lifted her brows suggestively.

“Is that so?” Emily put her hands on Alison’s thighs. She leaned in to kiss her and slowly moved her hand to cup Alison’s ass. It made Alison unintentionally buck into her. The motion gave them both a jolt of satisfaction. “Show me what you got, Uptown Girl. Let’s go.” She pushed her towards Hanna’s couch. “Right now.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

They heard approaching footsteps and Emily dropped her hands to her sides. They turned around just as Hanna was walking into the room with her next outfit.

“Costume change.” Hanna held up a vest with a faded flannel shirt and black pants that had a stretchy waistband.

“Come on, Han, three is enough.” Emily complained.

“You would never survive in Hollywood.” Hanna shoved the outfit at her. “Go.”

Emily took the clothes and then walked out of the room. Alison looked around awkwardly, not sure of where to go. She shot Hanna a timid smile and sat down against the edge of the couch.

Hanna grabbed her phone and sat down in a matching chair. She didn’t acknowledge Alison at all. The silence felt very uncomfortable.

“So…” Alison tapped her fingers against the armrest. “I like your place.”

“Thanks.” Hanna kept her eyes on her phone.

“You texting Caleb?” Alison asked.

“Yep.” She was still trying to ignore her.

“What’s the word?”

“He got a hit on a signal about an hour north, but it was a dead end. Burners aren’t easy to track. He’s not giving up though. He’s determined to figure it out. He’s still working on it. He said something about dampeners or something. I don’t know. I don’t really understand any of it.” Hanna shrugged.

The room was quiet again.

“We really appreciate you two helping us out. This whole thing is kind of scary.” Alison admitted.

“Yeah, being on the opposite end of a bully sucks, doesn’t it?” Hanna finally looked up from her phone.

Alison knew it was a shot at her, but she didn’t take the bait.

“This is more than a bully. This is a total psychopath.” Alison glanced down at her feet. She tapped her heels against the carpet.

“We’ll find out who it is. Then we can move on from all of this.” Hanna curled her legs up underneath her in the chair to get comfortable.

“It will be kind of nice to find a new normal again.” Alison agreed. “Any plans for after we graduate?”

“Yeah, get as far away from you as possible,” Hanna muttered under her breath.

Alison didn’t pick up on what she said, but she could feel the hate radiating off of Hanna. And she was tired of it. Hatred was exhausting. It took so much work to hate. She was done with it. She wanted Emily’s baby to be born into a community of love.

“Did I do something to piss you off?” Alison questioned curiously.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I meant _recently_. I’ve been trying to be nice to you. To everyone. I mean, I know you don’t like me…”

“I don’t know _what_ would have given you that impression.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Hanna, can we please just…” Alison tried to keep her temper in check. She knew that winning people over was going to be hard. She knew it was going to require work. “I’m a bitch. I know I’m a bitch, okay? I know you have so many reasons to hate me. I said a lot of stuff about your family I’m not really proud of.”

“You made me hate myself.” Hanna glared at her with spite in her eyes. “My family was broken and you took that and you turned it around and threw it back in my face. You made me think it was my fault my father left. You picked at me and you picked at my family.”

“I…I get it.” Alison stuttered. “My parents have been absent since the day I was born.”

“Never seemed to bother you.”

“Well, it did.” Alison resented Hanna for not taking her seriously. “I just…didn’t know it at the time.” She played with her fingers nervously. “I was mad about my family and I took it out on others. I know that now. I know it was wrong. I just…I wanted people to feel how I felt. Because I was angry. I was angry that I’m not good enough for my parents. I was angry that they didn’t love me.”

The words resonated for Hanna. She felt the same way about her dad leaving.

“But why did you make others feel like shit?” Hanna sat up against the chair, crossing her legs underneath her. “Lots of people have terrible families. Lots of people have abandonment issues. And you don’t see us going around torturing innocent people.”

“I…” Alison didn’t know how to answer her question. She really didn’t have a good reason. “I’m screwed up, I guess. I never had anyone in my life show me kindness. You know, my family…they’re not like…” She had trouble putting it into words. “Well, you saw Jason at the party.”

“I saw _you_ at the party, too.” Hanna lifted an eyebrow accusingly.

“That party was a terrible idea. I get that. But you have to understand that I’m still figuring things out. I don’t…I don’t know how to relate to people. I just thought if we could find some common ground…” She muttered. “It was stupid.”

“Yeah, it was.” Hanna didn’t sugarcoat it.

She thought her response would piss Alison off, but Alison seemed to appreciate her brevity.

“Look, I haven’t always made the best calls in life. I didn’t really have anyone setting boundaries for me. Jason and I have always been pawns in my parents’ lives. They weren’t there at all.” She glanced at a photo of Hanna and her mom. “At least you had your mom. Jason and I…our parents only taught us one thing. And that was power. And that’s a dangerous thing to teach two kids who are out of control.”

“That’s not an excuse. Most people don’t need to be taught _not_ to hurt others.” Hanna looked at her, a flicker of pain in her eyes. It had been _years_ , but her father’s abandonment still hurt.

“I know.” Alison bit her lip. “I said some messed up things to you. About your dad. About your clothes…your weight. And I’m sorry.”

Hanna took her words into consideration.

“Do you think we’d be having this conversation if you weren’t dating Emily?” Hanna asked.

“I don’t know. I like to hope so.”

Hanna quietly mulled something over. Alison had caused a lot of strife in her life, but her best friend loved her. The blonde wasn’t going anywhere.

“If you _ever_ hurt her the way you’ve hurt me…and everyone else…you’re going to regret it.”

It was similar to Toby’s threat. Alison wasn’t surprised by Hanna’s passion. Emily was very lovable. No one wanted to see her get hurt. And that included Alison.

“I would never.” Alison swallowed a knot in her throat. Just thinking about Emily being hurt made her sick to her stomach. “She’s the most important person in my life. I never want to see her in pain. That’s why…this whole thing…whoever is trying to hurt her…” Alison felt tears burning her eyes. She looked at Hanna. “I’m terrified. I’m scared, Hanna. I’m scared for her…for the baby.”

Hanna could see the vulnerability on her face. She could see the love in her eyes. She saw a glimpse of the girl that Emily saw when she looked at her. In that instant she knew that no matter what Alison had done to her in the past…Emily’s love had changed her. And she really cared about her. It momentarily lowered Hanna’s defenses. Hanna sighed and offered a comforting smile.

“We’re going to figure it out,” Hanna said.

Alison smiled back at her. For two brief minutes they were able to bury the hatchet. And when Emily came back in to show Alison yet another new outfit all of the attention was back on her. The girl was deliciously irresistible. She was one of a kind. That was something that Hanna and Alison could both agree on.


	18. Hot and Cold

* * *

**Chapter 18:**

**Hot and Cold**

Emily had always been confident. Alison would never forget seeing her stride over to her bike her first weekend back in town. She had been so cool and self-assured, like she didn’t have a care in the world. It was like the world existed solely because she was in it.

She didn’t seem to care what other people thought about her. She didn’t seem to care about what she looked like. She seemed completely comfortable in her own skin.

Alison had been drawn to her magnetic energy from the start. The brunette was confident without being too smug. Her bold seductive sex appeal oozed off of her. Everything about her was hot. Her smile. Her smoldering gaze. The way she walked. Even the way she dressed.

It was amazing that the pregnancy hadn’t changed that air of confidence, at least not outwardly. In fact, it had only made her more appealing to Alison. Her new wardrobe gave her a newfound sense of self.

Alison watched as Emily coolly walked through Hanna’s living room like she owned the place. She _did_ own the place. She owned everything, including Alison’s heart.

She was just as comfortable in her new threads as she was her old clothes. She didn’t skip a beat. She went along with Alison and Hanna as they clapped and catcalled her as they paraded her around like a supermodel.

“Work it, honey!” Hanna put her hands up to her lips and cupped her mouth while whistling loudly.

Emily leaned into it with a playful wink. She tried to play the part by casually flicking her wrist and waving it off like it was nothing.

“Yas, queen!” Hanna grabbed a stack of mail and started flipping thin envelopes at Emily to try and make it rain.

Alison shot Hanna a stern look. She knew that Hanna wasn’t gay, but she didn’t like other women flirting with her girlfriend. Hanna was just being friendly and Emily was just being playful, but Alison felt her blood boiling. She knew it was stupid to feel jealous, but feelings weren’t logical.

“You look _super_ hot, Em.” Alison languidly rose to her feet.

She made a methodical move towards Emily and stretched her arm out to take Emily’s hand, making sure to keep her eyes locked on Hanna’s.

Hanna didn’t seem to notice her territorial behavior, which only pissed Alison off more. The other blonde was totally oblivious.

Hanna was trying to quietly support Emily, even though she was wary of her relationship with Alison. It was clear to her that Alison meant something to Emily. The brunette looked great in her new clothes, but the smile she was wearing on her face was the accessory that topped it off. Emily looked at Alison like she was the most precious thing in the world. Their souls were intertwined.

Hanna knew the depth of that love. She knew what it felt like to know you would die a thousand times over for someone. She had seen the look in Emily’s eyes when they were talking about her attraction to Alison.

Hanna had a hard time seeing the girl that Emily saw. There was too much stigma attached to the blonde for her to look at her without bias. She’d had a hard time after her dad left. Alison had tormented her about it relentlessly. Alison had been hot and cold, first taunting her about how her dad didn’t love her and then pretending like it had never happened.

When they were kids and Hanna had gotten the invite to Alison’s party she thought it was Alison’s way of trying to make it up to her. Then after the party she’d gone back to her cold nature.

She’d been vicious about Hanna’s father and had poked fun at her baby fat and her clothes. It had pushed Hanna into some unhealthy habits. Alison had picked away at her until she felt like there was nothing left.

Even though Hanna had grown since then she was still picking up the shattered pieces that Alison had left in her wake. She was starting to understand why Alison acted out, and the fact that she had apologized was a start.

Hanna knew she’d always be a little bitter towards her. Alison knew it, too. But they seemed to have an unspoken understanding. They both cared about Emily. It was enough to keep the peace between them.

Hanna wouldn’t deny that Alison loved Emily. She’d heard it in her quivering voice when Alison told her that she was worried about Emily’s safety. Still, she was gun-shy about completely trusting the blonde. But she was happy that her friend was happy. That’s all that mattered.

Alison brushed her fingers along the collar of Emily’s jacket, smoothing it down. She slipped her hand in between the jacket and her shirt and moved her palm down against the curve in her side. She glanced over at Hanna to make sure she was getting her point across.

“I can’t wait to see the private show.” Alison leaned forward with a wink and pressed a kiss against Emily’s lips.

She reached up and gripped the side of Emily’s neck. Emily gently put her palms against Alison’s hips. Alison smiled into their kiss.

She pulled back and gave Emily an innocent look, but her touch was a little off. Emily noticed a weird tension in her movements. It wasn’t until she saw Alison’s eyes dart over to Hanna that she realized that Alison was trying to stake some kind of claim on her.

Emily wasn’t sure how to feel about it. It felt immature to her, like the old Alison. It was one thing for Alison to be protective. It was another thing entirely when she acted like a child with a toy she didn’t want to share. She didn’t like it when Alison let her jealousy get the better of her.

But she also felt oddly turned on by her actions. Her body was responding to her touch. It was responding to everything about her. Her silky smooth lips. The scent of her body wash. The taste of the wintergreen gum on her breath. It sent her senses into overdrive. Her libido went crazy when she was around Alison.

“You’ve got one more outfit to go.” Hanna stood up, pushing her bare feet against the living room carpet.

“Really? I didn’t see it in the bag.”

“It’s the one on the dresser. I forgot to put it with the others. I’ll show you…”

“We can find it.” Alison flippantly dismissed Hanna.

She grabbed Emily’s hand and quickly rushed towards Hanna’s room.

“Ohh…kay.” Hanna sank back down into the chair, a hint of confusion on her face.

“Why are you being so weird?” Emily asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m not being weird.” Alison’s face scrunched up in a look of defiance, pushing her way into Hanna’s room. “I’m just…” she looked around, scrutinizing every square inch of the pink decorations, “…making sure it’s safe.”

“What exactly is going to happen to me in here? Am I in danger of getting too close to the feathers on her pink furry lamp?”

“That’s not an innuendo, is it?” Alison made a face.

“No!” Emily blurted out a laugh. “But it totally should be.” Her expression softened. “What’s this really about, Ali?”

“I was just worried that maybe someone was lurking in the closet or waiting to jump you from outside her window.”

“We’re on the second floor.”

“So? Crazy people can climb trees.”

Emily moved towards Hanna’s window, which was shaded by curtains. She pulled the curtains back to reveal the winter wonderland outside. There were no trees by Hanna’s window.

“The boogeyman can’t just float in mid-air.” Emily let the curtains fall back into place.

“They can in horror movies.” Alison frowned.

“We’re not _in_ a horror movie.” She walked back over to Alison. “And I don’t need a bodyguard.” The blonde glared at her in disagreement. “Are you going to start tasting my food for poison, too?”

Emily was leaning on her humor, because she wasn’t sure what else to do. She was going through the motions, too. She had ups and downs. She had her own concerns about being drugged and poisoned. But she was trying to stay brave for the people in her life. She was trying to be strong for Alison and for her daughter.

“Don’t joke. We don’t know what this person is capable of. They already got to you once with your sports drink.” Alison put her hands against Emily’s shoulders, pressing up against her body. “I’m just trying to protect you…”

“I love that you care.” Emily kissed her forehead gently. “I do. But you’ve got to give me some breathing room here. I’m not a porcelain doll. I’m not going to break just because I’m pregnant.” She combed her fingers through Alison’s hair. “I know things have been tense. I know it’s been hard on you.” She could see Alison’s anxiety rising to insurmountable levels. “But I refuse to let this terrorist stop us from living our lives.”

“God, why are you so unwaveringly confident? It’s annoying.” Alison rolled her eyes, but she had a smile on her face. It was the opposite of annoying. It turned her on. “And hot…”

Alison slid her hand into Emily’s back pocket. She licked her lips and reached for the elastic waistband in the front. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Part of it was because she didn’t like the idea of Emily and Hanna alone in her frilly little room. Part of her wanted to claim it for herself. She could tell that Emily wanted her.

“Alison…” She bit down hard, nearly hissing out her name. “Slow it down.”

“Why? She’ll never know. Besides, she’s probably done it in here with Caleb dozens of times…”

“Because this is _her_ house.”

Alison moved her hand out of Emily’s back pocket and grazed her arm. She grabbed Emily’s hand, her fingertips guiding Emily’s palm up underneath her shirt, pushing it up towards her chest. Emily automatically cupped her hand over the lacy material of her bra. She let out a shuddering breath. Alison was _really_ testing her.

Alison had a wicked smile on her face. Her seductive grin pulled Emily into her gravitational field. Emily bit her lip, trying to resist. Alison cupped her cheek and moved in for a kiss. It was hungry and needy and very different than the kind of intimacy they normally shared. Emily could feel a difference, but she wasn’t quite sure what it was.

She pulled back gently.

“What has gotten in to you?” Emily’s lips hovered over Alison’s.

She probably wouldn’t have been able to stop herself had she not remembered that Hanna was right downstairs.

As if on cue, they heard Hanna’s voice echoing up towards her room.

“If you’re not down in 60 seconds I’m going to come up there and separate you with a firehose! This is a fashion show, not a brothel!”

Alison and Emily both snorted out a laugh. Alison’s laughter turned into a string of quiet little giggles. It was the cutest sound Emily had ever heard.

The blonde put her index finger up against her lips and quietly shushed Emily. Her devious nature faded and Emily saw the vulnerable blonde who had hugged her tightly the very first time she’d been on the back of her bike. Her simple little prissy girl.

“Be down in a minute, Han!” Emily called back, her voice wavering, nearly giving her away.

It didn’t help when Alison started to help her strip her clothing off so she could change. Emily had to shoo her out of the room, because she didn’t think she could stop another fit of passion.

Alison glanced back as she was walking out and caught a glimpse of her side profile. All she had on was underwear and a tank top. Alison could see her belly protruding out in a tiny little curve. It made her smile.

She quickly rejoined Hanna in the living room, giving her a smug smile. Hanna gave her a knowing look. She knew exactly what they’d been up to. Alison didn’t say a word. She just reached into her pocket and pulled out her lip gloss and smoothed it on over her lips, popping them when she was finished.

A few minutes later Emily walked into the room in her last outfit of the day. A sleek black top, matching pants, and a blue and off-white flannel shirt tied neatly around her midsection, hiding her bump. She had a scarf that matched her flannel. And to top it off she was wearing a grey and black beanie.

“Artsy chic.” Alison winked. “Hubba, hubba.”

“Please never say that to me again.” Emily laughed, her cheeks turning red.

She was not used to being a model. She was not used to being a sex symbol. She’d just always been Emily...nothing out of the ordinary. She liked blending in. She liked doing her own thing. And she most definitely had her own style. Fortunately, Hanna had been able to replicate that style in her new maternity wear.

“You happy?” Emily glanced at Hanna.

Hanna furrowed her brows in concentration as she observed the outfit, just like she’d done when they were shopping. She had Emily turn in circles. Hanna tapped her chin, as if she was deep in thought.

Alison watched their interaction intently. She had no reason to be angry, yet she had the selfish impulsive desire to rip Hanna’s face off. She tried to work through her emotions, trying to understand them. It wasn’t reasonable for her to want Emily and the baby all to herself, but that’s what she wanted.

She didn’t like it when Emily got too close to other people. She knew it was stupid to feel insecure about their relationship, but she had a little nagging voice in her head that made her worry that Emily might leave her.

“Well?” Emily pushed Hanna for an answer. “What do you think, Van Gogh?”

“My finest work of art.” Hanna nodded in approval. “But I’m more of a Da Vinci with Monet tendencies. I need both of my ears to show off my hoops.” She waved her fingers over her earrings.

“They look more like rusty spoons.” Alison mumbled.

Hanna didn’t hear her, but Emily did. Alison knew it was petty, but she didn’t care.

Emily cocked her head curiously. She couldn’t figure out what was going on in Alison’s head. One minute everything was fine and the next she was spitting venom.

“Wanna show off the new threads? Caleb says _The Brew_ is doing an impromptu talent show. Sabrina apparently talked Mike into singing the Spice Girls…in full costume. Aria and Ezra are already there. We could make an afternoon out of it?” Hanna suggested.

Alison frowned. Just what she needed…more people fawning over Emily. More people who had the opportunity to get too close to her, and potentially hurt her. A crowded gathering didn’t sound like a good idea.

She thought about the girl in New York. That Bethany Young girl. Fortunately, it wasn’t Courtney. But it could have been. Or maybe Courtney had been in Rosewood. Maybe she’d been stalking Emily. What would have happened to Emily if Alison had been gone longer?

Emily looked like she was considering Hanna’s offer, but before she could answer Alison put her hand on Emily’s arm and lovingly looked at her.

“I was kind of hoping we could spend a little quality time together. I haven’t seen you all day.” Alison trailed her index finger along Emily’s jaw line.

Emily smiled and took Alison’s hand. Alison’s smile had her totally whipped. Every time the blonde batted her lashes and smiled she would do anything she asked.

“We’ll take a raincheck.” Emily glanced outside. “Well…er…a snowcheck. But take lots of pictures. I want one of Mike in a leopard unitard and kitten ears.”

“He’s not Scary Spice.” Hanna scoffed. “He’s totally bubble gum Baby Spice. Aria has the costume ready.”

Of course she did. Even Alison laughed at the image of Mike in a girly pink dress with a blonde wig on.

“I’ll grab your things.” Alison started gathering Emily’s bags. She was beyond ready to leave.

“Thanks for today, Hanna. I really needed it.” Emily didn’t realize how long it had been since she’d felt normal.

“Any time,” Hanna said. “You can always call me…no matter what.”

“This really goes above and beyond…”

“It’s what friends are for.” Hanna smiled modestly.

“I want you to know that we really appreciate everything you and Caleb are doing for us.”

“Of course.” Hanna nodded. “He said that he’s looking into security cameras. Something discreet. Because whoever we’re dealing with is too smart to get caught out in the open.”

“Alison has one outside her garage, but she says that it doesn’t work. Her parents just put it up as a deterrent.”

Hanna’s eyes lit up like she had a brilliant idea. Emily loved seeing the wheels turning in her head. As far as blondes went, she was the opposite of the stereotypical dumb blonde.

“I bet Caleb can do something about that. Most of those things are set up with wi-fi, even if it’s not in use.” She reached for her phone and started texting. She waited a few seconds and then her phone chimed. “My man is a genius.”

“He can get it to go live?”

Hanna showed Emily the message on her screen.

**_Give me 5 minutes._ **

Two minutes later he sent another text with a black and white image of Alison’s yard and the street covered in snow.

**_It’s wired. Easily tapped. But it doesn’t do live feeds. It’s motion sensor activated and only takes snapshots. It will be hit or miss, but it’s better than nothing. Where are we on the hidden camera front? When does Alison want to set those up?_ **

“Tell him as soon as possible,” Emily said.

Hanna texted her response and sent it to Caleb just as Alison walked back into the room. She had all of Emily’s bags. She didn’t stop to say goodbye to Hanna. She just walked towards the door babbling about how heavy the bags were.

Emily thanked Hanna and jogged after Alison. They walked out to the street, where Alison had parked her car. She’d been too afraid to park it in the driveway because there was an incline and she was afraid they’d skid in the snow.

Alison paced in front of Emily quickly, barely making eye contact with her. She knew she’d appeared ungrateful and weird.

Emily was not about to let the tension go. It was important to her for the two of them to talk things out.

“What was that back there?” Emily reached for the door handle.

“What?” Alison asked innocently.

“Are you really _that_ pissed that I went out with Hanna today?”

“No!” Alison threw Emily’s bags in the back and climbed into the driver’s seat.

Emily climbed into the passenger’s seat.

“Why do you two antagonize each other so much?” Emily questioned curiously. She loved both of them and she was tired of being in the middle of their battle.

“She started it.”

“Seriously, Alison?” Emily cut her eyes over at the blonde.

But when she looked at her, she couldn’t be mad. Her dazzling blue eyes were staring back at her. She had a sad look on her face.

“It just feels like Hanna purposefully tries to piss me off. That’s all. Her sodium content is through the roof.”

“What?” Emily asked in confusion.

“She’s salty.”

“You two have a rocky past.” Emily reminded her. “That doesn’t just disappear because you want it to.”

She knew that the situation between the two blondes was complex. She remembered the way it had felt when Nick had tried to get her to bury the hatchet with Courtney. Alison had tortured Hanna the same way that Courtney had picked on Emily. The situations weren’t exactly the same, but Alison was Hanna’s Courtney.

“Remember when I first got back to town…when I told you that I had too much on my plate to play games?” Emily licked her lips.

“You’re not a game to me, Em.” Alison looked over at her, reaching over the console to touch her hand.

Emily couldn’t find the strength to pull away. As long as Alison was touching her she had her heart…and her attention.

“I know. But when you act the way you did back there with Hanna…when you do things like that it bothers me.”

“I’m sorry.” Alison squeezed her hand.

She sounded sincere, and Emily knew she meant it. She had seen her grow in tremendous ways since she’d gotten back to town. She wasn’t the same girl that tried to pressure Emily into torturing Mona and Mike that first day at school.

“It’s just…Courtney acted like that. And I can’t go through that again.”

“If it makes you feel any better we did have a nice heart-to-heart. I think we were friends for half a minute.” Alison tried to lighten the mood.

Emily chuckled.

“I get that you guys are going to squabble. Not everyone gets along all the time. But I don’t feel like playing the bouncer role. I don’t like being put in the middle.”

“No one is putting you in the middle.”

“Not intentionally. But I do have to play the peacekeeper. And it’s kind of exhausting, especially since I’ve got so much else on my mind.” She moved her free hand to her stomach.

The pregnancy was a stark reminder to Alison that her beef with Hanna was so much bigger than the two of them. It was more important to focus on Emily and the baby than it was to hold on to grudges.

“I’ll work harder. I’ll do better.” There was a strange undertone of panic in her voice. She hated disappointing Emily.

“Relax, Ali.” Emily could hear the nerves in her tone. “I’m not mad.” She assured her. “You’ve already proved to me how much you care. I know that you mean well. And to me, that’s worth more than anything. You have a beautiful soul.” She smiled, leaning over the console to kiss her.

The only sound in the car was the rustling of their bodies in the seats as they kissed. They pulled back and readjusted in their seats.

“You know I would never hurt you, right?” Alison gripped her hand.

Emily turned to smile at her with a wry look on her face.

“Like you ever could? I’m pregnant and I could still kick your ass.”

Alison laughed and playfully smacked her.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Emily pulled back on the cockiness and gave her an earnest look.

“Your heart is safe with me. I promise.” She’d made that promise to Toby and Hanna, too. And she intended to stay true to her word.

Alison started the car, immediately reaching to turn the heat on. She rubbed her hands together and blew a heated breath against them and then reached for her gloves.

They were quiet on the ride back to Alison’s place. Alison was busy concentrating on her driving.

The snow was starting to come down a lot heavier. Big mushy flakes hit the windshield and stuck to the glass right before the wipers smeared the melted droplets away.

“It must be killing you not being able to ride because of the weather,” Alison said as she pulled in her driveway.

“I get the same thrill when I let you drive me places.” Emily winked.

“You’re awful.” Alison put the car in park. “But you’re right.”

“Always am.” Emily smiled. “Besides, I’ll take her out for a spin in a few days. Have to keep the motor running.”

“That _her_ better be in reference to your bike.”

“I’ve named her Krystal.” Emily grinned widely.

“Oh my God. I hate you.” Alison snorted.

“No, you don’t.”

Alison turned the ignition off and glanced at Emily.

“Want to come in?”

“An empty house with just the two of us? Gee, let me think about that.” Emily teased. She grabbed the bags and opened the car door.

Alison reached into the back seat to grab one more bag that Emily had forgotten. Emily was already out of the car and was circling around to the driver’s side. Alison opened her door and stepped out.

Alison’s heel hit a small patch of ice and she nearly face-planted, but Emily dropped the bags in her hands and caught her before she could hit the pavement.

“You okay?” Emily helped her get steady on her feet. She had a tight grip and she wasn’t letting go.

Alison felt Emily’s firm muscles wrapped around her protectively. She huffed out a breath that dissipated into the air. Alison saw the worried expression on Emily’s face, and it made her feel like melting. Her big bad protector had such a soft underbelly.

“You just can’t keep your hands off me, can you?” Alison smiled at her.

“You are kind of a handful.” Emily shrugged it off playfully.

They peered at one another, the snow falling around them. It felt like a picturesque moment, like it would belong in a calendar shoot. Emily released her hold on Alison and walked around to admire the untouched snow on the grass. She slowly pulled her brand new gloves on.

“Been a long time since I’ve seen snow.” Emily bent down to draw a heart in the soft white substance. “Didn’t see much of anything like this in San Antonio.” She traced her fingers across it. “I forgot how beautiful it was.”

She could hear Alison walking up behind her and she grinned as she scooped up some of the snow. She rolled it into a ball and turned around and smiled at Alison. Alison saw the wintry weapon in her hand and she paused in her stride.

“Emily Fields, don’t you dare.” A smile broke across her face.

Emily lifted her eyebrows. She smirked at Alison and playfully stuck her tongue out and bit down on it. She tossed the snowball at Alison.

Alison shrieked out a laugh when it hit her.

“You are so dead!” Alison leaned down and scooped up a snowball of her own.

“Gonna have to catch me first.” Emily started running around the yard.

Alison took off after her. It escalated into a full blown snowball fight. Alison ducked by the side of her house, but Emily found her. She snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around her and they both fell into the soft ground below. They made snow angels and wrote silly things in the snow. They turned towards one another and kissed, their lips warm against each other.

They were both so focused on one other that neither one of them saw the person in the red coat hovering strategically between the shadows of a tree with low hanging branches and a red car parked right next to it. It was completely out of view of the camera above the garage _and_ out of view of the two girls playing in the snow.

It was easy to blend in when there were people around, but it took a little more finesse to remain incognito in a blanket of white covering an entire sleepy town. Admittedly, the red coat had been a bit of an impractical decision.

It had worked in New York. The decoy girl in the coat had done exactly what she was supposed to do. She had been an easy target. She was young and eager…and looking into the school of acting. Naturally, she’d been willing to please.

They’d met in a coffee shop. Sweet unsuspecting Bethany. She’d been told that in order to really get the feel for the program she needed to immerse herself in a role. Bethany had eagerly agreed to wear the coat and trail another girl who was there to look at the same program.

It was meant only as a distraction. Bethany was supposed to keep Alison occupied. Then Alison went off-script. Fortunately, the girl’s mother hadn’t been too far behind.

It had created a delightful show. Alison had a surprising amount of ferocity and strength. It had taken balls for her to chase after a stranger in the streets of New York and tackle her to the ground. Emily had seemingly met her match, a girl just as brass and bold as the brunette herself.

The person in the shadows watched the two of them frolicking like kids, forgetting about the danger…forgetting about the fact that they were supposed to be afraid.

Flakes of snow fell against the coat, creating little crystals of diamonds that quickly dissipated. Each flurry was unique.

Snow was beautiful. But snow was also deadly. Snow itself wasn’t dangerous. It was the conditions that it brought along with it. The hidden depths of ice underneath the soft undisturbed ground. The frozen branches weighing heavily upon the trees, bringing large powerful objects crashing to the ground. The wind chill and the risk of hypothermia.

Sometimes hypothermia crept up on people without them realizing it. The body became wet and sweaty without grasping the chill that inevitably came afterwards. Some victims of hypothermia reported feeling hot to the point of pulling their clothes off in a fit of madness.

There were many dangers in life, many that people didn’t know about.

Emily was soon going to find that out the hard way.

Across the street two oblivious girls were laughing and building a snowwoman. That snowwoman turned into an entire little snow family. There was a tiny little child-sized snow person between the two adult-sized ones.

Alison smoothed the round head of the smaller snow person. She’d found two dark grey river rocks for matching eyes. When she finished she stepped back to admire their work. She glanced at Emily and smiled.

Emily wrapped her arms around Alison and kissed her cheek. She noticed that Alison was shivering, so she suggested they go inside and warm up. They grabbed Emily’s new clothes and walked inside to shake the snow off, unaware of the danger lurking in the shadows of the winter weather.

* * *

They went up to Alison’s room so they could change out of their wet clothes. Emily changed into her new flannel shirt and a pair of sweatpants. She glanced at her phone. She had a message from her mom.

**_I’m off work at 5. Dinner at 7. Your dad is making lasagna._ **

Emily replied,

**_Sounds great._ **

**_Having fun shopping with Hanna?_ **

**_Found some great deals._ **

She pushed the bags of clothes into a neat row out of the way.

She sat down in a large cushioned chair near the bay window that looked directly into her window across the street. She wondered how often Alison looked out and peered at her house, waiting for her to come to the window.

She thought about the little snow family they’d made. She couldn’t see their handiwork from Alison’s window. It was just beyond the corner of the house.

She zoned out as she waited on Alison to get back. The blonde said something about making hot chocolate before rushing out of the room. But when she came back she was empty-handed.

“What did I miss? Has the blizzard overrun the town yet?” Alison questioned.

“The abominable snowman made an appearance.” Emily teased. She glanced at Alison’s empty hands. “And I’m guessing he raided the hot chocolate stash?”

“Oh.” Alison’s face brightened, almost like she’d forgotten something. “We’re out of the essentials. Jason must have finished it all off. He’s like a human garbage disposal. Sorry it took me a few minutes. I was just making sure that all of the doors and windows are locked.”

“Wouldn’t want the boogeyman to get in.” Emily nodded solemnly.

“Wouldn’t want anyone interrupting our cuddle time.” Alison corrected her.

Emily smiled a crooked smile. She glanced outside again.

“Caleb says the camera above your garage takes pictures. So we’ve got that extra layer of security for now.”

Alison looked startled.

“How does he know that?”

“I asked Hanna to have him look into it.”

“I thought we were getting hidden cameras.”

“We are.” Emily was a little alarmed to see Alison so upset. “Do you not want that camera on?”

“Of course I do.” Her reaction felt stiff and forced. “It just feels a little…invasive.”

Emily nodded in understanding. It made sense that she was freaking out. Holding a phone and taking a selfie was a lot different than being under surveillance. The situation was stressful.

“C’mere.” Emily waved her over.

Alison walked over and scooted in next to her. She moved into Emily’s lap and kicked her feet up over the armrest of the chair. Emily smiled at her and laid her arm across Alison’s legs, curling her hand to grip her thigh.

“It’s going to be okay.” Emily reached up with her other hand and rolled it between her shoulder blades.

Alison loved how calming she was. She wrapped her arms around Emily and gave her a kiss.

“You look really sexy in your new clothes.”

“It’s flannel and sweatpants.” Emily laughed.

“You could wear a potato sack and make it look sexy.” Alison nuzzled her nose against Emily’s.

“I very much doubt that.”

“You should have told me you were going shopping. I would have gone with you.”

She still couldn’t get over the fact that Emily had spent the whole day with Hanna. It’s not like she needed to be with Emily every second of the day. And it’s not like she didn’t know that Emily had friends. But sharing Emily was hard for her. She wanted her all to herself. And she didn’t trust anyone. Whether Emily wanted her to be her bodyguard or not, Alison considered herself her protector’s protector.

“Hanna ambushed me,” Emily said. “Besides, you said you were finishing up the rest of your college applications.”

“Ugh…” Alison groaned. “It’s the holidays. Can we _not_ talk about school stuff?” She saw the disapproving look on Emily’s face. “They’re done. I’m just waiting until after New Years to send them in.”

“Where did you apply?”

“No…” She pecked Emily’s lips, “…more…” Another peck, “…school stuff.”

“Okay.” Emily conceded.

Alison looked out the window. The town was beautiful. But it also felt very unexciting. She had turned down going to the beach with her family so she could stay with Emily. But she hadn’t said anything specific about staying _in_ Rosewood with her.

“We should go somewhere for New Years.” Alison suggested.

“Seriously?” Emily pulled back so she could look at her.

“What? It’s not like anything is happening here. Maybe it would do us some good to get out of town.”

“Or maybe someone will follow us and we’ll never make it _back_ to town.”

Or maybe the very danger was outside Alison’s house at that very moment, observing the little snow family they’d built.

“I’m not talking about going out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere where a stalker could kill us.” Alison rolled her eyes. “I really had a good time in New York. I think you’d like it, too. Why don’t we take a trip up there? Kiss in Times Square as the Big Apple drops?”

She had a plan to try and get Emily interested in the big city. That way maybe she could convince her to move there if she got into NYU.

“Large crowd. Why not? Instead of getting killed, we can get mugged.”

“No way anyone would think about mugging you.” Alison wrapped her fingers around Emily’s large bicep.

Even with the pregnancy, she managed to stay in shape. She still boxed with Jake, much to Alison’s dismay. Alison knew that Emily didn’t like to be fawned over, but Alison hated that she had yet to slow down. Sometimes she felt like handcuffing her to the bed and forcing her to get pampered.

Something she didn’t realize is that Emily didn’t _want_ to slow down. She was working through a bunch of complex emotions that she refused to talk to anyone about. She had a hard time vocalizing her fears. She didn’t feel like anyone would understand her pregnancy woes.

Her hormones were messing with her emotions. She knew the dark thoughts would overwhelm her if she stopped exercising and stopped riding. As it was, she couldn’t swim nearly as often as she wanted to in private anymore. Sometimes she got in a few laps at the gym, but she was anxious that someone might come to the pool and see her baby bump.

She wasn’t showing much, but it was glaringly obvious when she was in a skintight swimsuit. She’d tried swimming with a swim shirt as well, but it slowed her traction down in the water. It made her feel like a beached whale.

Getting away probably would do her some good, but she knew it wasn’t realistic, not with work and school. And she definitely didn’t want to go to New York.

“New York isn’t an option for me.” Emily shook her head.

She knew it was irrational to think that in a city of over 8 million people she would run into Isaac and his family, but she couldn’t get past it.

“Right. Isaac.” Alison nodded in understanding. “Wanna go somewhere else then?”

“Paris is looking pretty good right now. It’s far enough away.” It was a nice dream, at least.

“You have a passport?” Alison asked.

“I’m an army brat. I’ve had a passport since I was in utero.” Emily looked out the window. She stared at the snow in thought. “Though I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere anytime soon. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.” She smiled at Alison. “Think about it. You and me. Empty house. Lots of possibilities.”

“First things first, I’m still cold.” Alison curled closer to Emily. She snuggled up to her and smiled with a seductive look in her eyes. “Warm me up.”

“ _That_ I can do.” Emily grinned, leaning in to kiss her.

Alison grasped her cheeks to pull her closer. She carefully moved around in the chair until she was straddling Emily.

Emily held her waist in place as Alison gripped the back of her neck. Emily gently bit down on Alison’s lip. It made the blonde grin into their embrace. Seconds later Alison moved her tongue in between Emily’s lips, gently pressing it forward.

Emily pulled the curtains shut. Their kisses started to deepen and their bodies naturally fell together.

They only had a limited range of motion in the chair, so Emily sat up and pushed herself forward so she could stand.

Alison slipped down and her legs automatically found their way around Emily’s waist. Emily held the edge of the windowsill for support and lifted Alison off of the chair.

Alison broke the kiss when she felt Emily walking and holding her weight. She was worried about Emily trying to lift so much weight.

“Em, you’re not supposed to…”

Emily cut her off with a hard kiss, not because she hated being told what to do, but because everything in her body _needed_ Alison at that moment. She knew she could make it ten feet to the bed without a problem.

Before Alison could complain that she wasn’t following doctor’s orders she felt her back being lowered against her downy bedspread. Alison peeled the edge of it down and kicked it out of the way, exposing her satiny sheets.

She tugged on Emily’s shirt, pulling her forward. Emily crawled next to Alison. She put her hand on the blonde’s face and gently kissed her.

Alison lazily laid her palm against the side of her neck and put her other hand against Emily’s hip. Emily made a quiet noise that Alison felt as she blew a breath into their kiss. She’d found out that Emily was much more sensitive to her touch recently. It didn’t matter where she touched her, Emily always wanted more.

She felt Emily’s thigh nudging her legs open, moving to try and connect their bodies…to get closer. She took control, which caused a pulsing sensation between Alison’s legs. Her heart started racing. The adrenaline rush Alison got from being with her gave her a natural high like nothing else she’d ever experienced.

Emily slid her hand up Alison’s shirt to find that she hadn’t bothered to put a bra back on. It made Emily’s desire run even hotter.

Alison moved her hands up between their bodies and delicately started to unbutton Emily’s shirt. Her fingers were warm and soft against Emily’s bare flesh. Alison was careful, because she knew Emily’s chest was tender, though sometimes she found just the right amount of pressure that was pleasurable for her.

“Let me know if it’s too much…” Alison breathed into their kiss.

“You too.” Emily caressed her cheek with her fingers.

Emily moved her hand down the side of her neck. She trailed her fingers down further to the curve in Alison’s side. Her palm came to rest on her hip. She waited a few seconds, but then slowly moved her fingers to the front of her waistband.

She felt Alison exhale and mewl against her mouth as she dipped her fingers down inside of her pants. Alison’s body tensed up. Her muscles trembled.

“You okay?” Emily stopped when she felt her shaking.

“Mmhmm.” Alison grasped her face and deepened their kiss.

Alison had felt Emily’s touch before, but every time felt new and exhilarating. And the fact that she always made sure Alison was okay…it just opened up a piece of Alison’s soul that made her fall even harder for her.

Alison’s entire face felt hot. Her body craved Emily’s touch. She wanted more. She hooked her leg around Emily’s and moved against her, pushing their pelvises together in a grinding motion. She rolled against Emily’s movements. Her body flushed in a fiery wave of heat. Emily did things to her she’d never felt before.

Alison’s fingers slowly trailed down the divot in Emily’s chest to her belly. She let her hand linger against her baby bump. The pregnancy glow made Emily beautifully radiant. She was sure there was some study out there about how pregnancy put off some crazy pheromone that drove their partners wild. There was no mistaking it…Emily made her feel completely insane.

She felt it hit her, slowly at first…building up like the warm flow of blood rushing through her veins. Then it overtook her entire body, her senses…everything. It was like a sudden torrential downpour on a hot summer day. Emily didn’t have to do much to get her body to respond. All she had to do was touch her.

Alison buried her face against Emily’s shoulder and nibbled against her skin. She felt a jolt of pleasure shoot through her body and she bit down against Emily’s shoulder.

She leaned her forehead into the crook of Emily’s neck to bathe in her aroma. After a few seconds she pressed a kiss against the mark she’d left.

She felt Emily kiss her temple. The brunette held her so lovingly. It was an embrace that Alison could get lost in forever.

She peered into Emily’s eyes. There was a softness there that made Alison feel like melting. Her sensuality was intoxicating. She was dangerous, but safe. She was tough, but soft. She was everything Alison could have ever wished for and more.

Alison moved her hand down Emily’s body, her fingers sliding inside her sweatpants. She felt Emily immediately respond. Emily’s motions became more controlled…more assertive. She pushed Alison to go further.

Emily pulled back from their kiss to catch her breath. Her entire body felt like a giant pulsing heart. Alison moved her fingers between Emily’s legs. She looked into her large brown eyes.

All the other times she’d gone this far with people she’d never cared enough to stop and ask if it was okay, but it felt different with Emily. She felt like she needed her permission.

“What’s wrong?” Emily saw the timid expression on her face.

“It…it won’t hurt the baby if I…” Alison gently rolled her fingers against Emily.

Emily let out a shuddering breath. Her thighs were quivering. Her entire body burned with anticipation and a needy desire.

“No.” She moved against Alison’s fingertips.

Her body was throbbing. The intense contractions she could feel in her pelvis felt so good it almost hurt. Her body was aching to be touched so badly that it was verging on discomfort.

It was the most extreme desire she’d ever felt. She didn’t just want it. She _needed_ it. She felt like the fire in her stomach would never settle. She felt like she was burning from the inside.

She’d heard that pregnancy made women’s bodies crave a high level of intimacy, but she’d never expected that her arousal would build to such an intense point. She’d read something about it having to do with extra blood flow and heightened sensitivity. Whatever it was, Alison’s touch had her nerve endings prickling in desire. It felt like she was going to run out of air if she didn’t get what she needed.

“You’re sure?” Alison placed a peck against Emily’s jaw. She could feel Emily throbbing against her.

Emily nodded and mumbled out a muffled noise. She couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t been expecting it to go this far. She hadn’t expected to _want_ it so bad.

It had been hot with Maya, a desire giving in to temptation. It had been uncomfortable with Isaac, a need to fulfill an inevitable duty. But with Alison, it was a need as essential as oxygen. The blonde was a blazing inferno that engulfed her senses and made her feel whole in every sense. She wanted to hold her and never let her go.

She felt things with Alison she’d never felt before in her life. And she knew it wasn’t just from the hormones. She knew because she looked into Alison’s eyes and they both felt like they were flying.

She was focused on Alison as the blonde gently prodded forward. Her fingers explored, gently, cautiously. Emily was silky and warm and she was surprised by how slick and moist she was. She kept her gaze fixed on the brunette as she gently moved in and out.

Emily tensed up and Alison started to pull away, but when she looked at her she saw exhilaration on her face. Emily mewled a sound of contentment and Alison kissed her swollen lips.

Her breaths were uneven and rapid. Her motions matched Alison’s perfectly. Alison could feel a connection that she’d never felt before. She saw a beauty in Emily she’d never seen before.

She felt Emily’s breathing hitch, their mouths parting just enough for Emily to catch her breath. Emily trembled. She seemed to be totally lost in Alison’s eyes. Alison knew exactly what she was searching for, and she let her in. She let her vulnerabilities become visible.

As Alison felt Emily’s motions...as she tasted her breath...as she watched her give in to the love between them Alison realized something. Emily was hers. She was truly hers...in every sense. All of her jealousy faded away in that moment. The blonde just took the time to appreciate and covet her. No one would ever have the piece of Emily’s heart that she had.

Alison wasn’t sure what was going through Emily’s mind when her jaw went slack and her body tensed up. She was worried at first, thinking that maybe it had something to do with the baby…that maybe she was in pain. But the smile that formed on her face told Alison otherwise. Her muscles pulsed...rapidly at first, then they slowly relaxed.

Emily moved in to kiss the blonde again. Their kisses slowed from frenzied to tender. Emily brushed a strand of Alison’s hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. She pecked Alison’s mouth, holding the kiss, appreciating the fullness of her lips.

When she pulled back Alison smiled sweetly at her. It was a reminder to Emily that no matter how vicious she could be when she was upset, there was an untapped gentleness inside of her.

Emily rolled to the side, pulling her weight off of Alison, leaving the blonde feeling the draft of the cool air.

Emily’s new flannel shirt was splayed wide open, exposing her drizzling wet skin…the heat and sweat from their passion glistening from her chest to her stomach.

Alison snuggled closely to her. She slipped down to lay her head on the soft fleshy part of Emily’s chest right above her growing stomach. She placed her palm on the side of her small bump and pressed an innocent kiss against her belly. Emily felt the motion in her heart.

“I…um…I haven’t…” Emily bit down on her lip, a sheepish smile on her face, “…not since I got pregnant. I hope it wasn’t too weird.” She caressed the top of Alison’s head.

She’d been worried that Alison might feel awkward because of the baby, but all Alison saw when she looked at her was the girl that she loved. And she wanted every part of her.

“Mmm.” Alison shook her head. “You’re perfect, Em. You’re so perfect.”

She pushed her face closer to Emily’s body. She loved everything about the brunette, including her baby.

“Your mommy looks really beautiful right now.” Alison whispered quietly. “You’re very lucky. She’s pretty and witty and brave.”

“You missed an opportunity there to sing _‘pretty and witty and gay’_.” Emily chuckled, running her fingers through Alison’s hair.

“And she’s snarky, too.” Alison added. She glanced up at Emily. “ _West Side Story_ has a lot of versions, smartass.”

Alison rubbed her palm against Emily’s silky smooth skin. They were both sweaty. Emily had done her job of heating Alison up.

“Now would be the perfect opportunity to kick her for mocking me.” Alison quietly spoke to the baby, keeping her cheek pressed against Emily’s stomach.

She didn’t feel anything, which was slightly disappointing. But then she remembered that she was entangled with the most wonderful girl in the entire world, and her disappointment faded.

“She’s on _my_ side, aren’t you, Little Bit?” Emily was smirking. She reached down and rubbed the side of her stomach.

“See what I have to deal with?” Alison ignored Emily and kissed her belly again. “But it’s okay. Because even though she’s annoying…” She poked Emily’s ribs, making her laugh, “…she loves.” She peered up at Emily, a genuine smile on her face. “She loves with all of her wicked little indigo heart.”

Emily smiled at the blonde. It was so easy for Emily to forget Alison’s past transgressions like the bickering that had happened with Hanna earlier. Because Alison became a completely different person when it was just the two of them.

It wasn’t just the intense heated moments that they enjoyed. It was the quiet moments afterwards. The true touch of intimacy. It was the moment when Emily gently threaded her fingers through Alison’s hair and cupped her cheek with her warm palm. It was the moment when Alison held Emily’s bump between her hands and told her daughter how wonderful her mother was. They were lost in the world of each other.

They hadn’t seen the uninvited solicitor outside Alison’s house. They hadn’t heard the thuds of large mounds of snow hitting the soft ground below. Sometimes when it was just the two of them they shut out the world. But the world wasn’t silent for long.

An hour later, just as they were drifting off for a late afternoon nap a loud chirping noise brought them crashing back into reality.

Emily yawned and reached for her phone. She grimaced. Her phone always made her squirm. She was hoping that it was a picture of Mike dressed up in go-go boots and doused in pink sparkles.

There was a single text with a photo attached. It was not the wild scene from _The Brew_. It was messy cluttered lumps of snow. Had it not been for the two river rocks that Alison had used for the little snow child’s eyes sticking halfway out of the snow it would have looked like any mess of snow.

**_A family that stays together gets slayed together. Happy holidays, bitch. Things might be heating up in your life, but baby, it’s cold outside._ **

Emily was so startled that the phone slipped out of her hand and bounced off of the bed on to the floor. She scurried out of bed and raced over to the window, buttoning her shirt as she moved the curtains aside. She looked around for movement, but didn’t see anything.

Alison rushed after her. She hadn’t seen the text.

“What’s wrong?” Alison tried to detangle herself from the bed sheets.

Emily didn’t waste a second. She tore out of the room and ran towards the stairs.

“Em, slow down!” Alison cried as she raced after her. She was worried that she’d trip and fall.

The last thing they needed was another visit to the hospital. But Emily was steady on her feet, as always. She didn’t falter in her step at all as she clutched the guard rail and took the stairs two at a time.

She knew it was a long shot. The photo had probably been taken right after they’d gone inside, but if there was even the slightest chance that her stalker was still out there she couldn’t risk letting them get away.

Emily flung the door open and raced out on to the porch, her bare feet sloshing against the snow that had accumulated on the wooden paneling.

Alison quickly caught up to her. She snatched her arm and glanced down at her feet.

“You’re not wearing any shoes! Get your ass back inside before you get pneumonia!” Alison growled angrily.

She hated it when Emily ran headfirst into danger. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme in her life. She knew the brunette couldn’t help it. It was instinct. But she was terrified that one day it would get her hurt…or killed.

Emily jerked her arm free and sprang towards the edge of the porch. She leaned over the banister and saw the remains of the snow family they’d built. More snow had covered the ground beside the destroyed bulges. There were no footprints in sight. The picture had been taken long before she’d gotten the message.

“Fuck.” Emily slammed her hand against the railing.

Alison reached out to touch Emily’s arm.

“Emily…” Alison’s voice was softer this time. Her touch was more gentle.

When Emily turned around she saw Alison bunched up because of the cold. Her face was scrunched and her teeth were chattering. She’d followed her out without shoes. Emily barely felt the cold, but she looked at the blonde in her short sleeved shirt flapping in the breeze and she could see that she was freezing.

Alison looked over her shoulder and saw the destroyed snow family. It didn’t take her long to put it together.

“Oh my God.” She stopped shivering and took a step around Emily. “The bitch was _here_?”

Emily sighed and pulled Alison back towards the front door…back towards the warmth and the safety of the house. It wasn’t right to put Alison and the baby in danger.

Just as she was getting ready to close the door she glanced out towards the garage, her eyes landing on the security camera. It was pointing away from the side of the house, but maybe it had caught _something._

After she calmed Alison down she went to grab her phone so she could text Caleb. She knew it was wishful thinking, but she had to try.

**_Just got another text. It was from outside the house. Can we see if the camera got anything?_ **

It took about five minutes for Caleb to get back to her.

**_Give me a second. Mike is shimmying on stage…need to get away from the crowd._ **

The image of Mike shaking his groove thing actually helped bring a sense of normalcy back to Emily’s mind.

**_I want photos of that, too._ **

Three minutes went by and then she got a text from him with a photo attached.

**_Timestamp is a little over an hour ago. Probably triggered by the car?_ **

Emily opened the attached photo. The view was partially obstructed by the snow and the image was grainy, but there was a car down the street pulling away from the curb. It was hard to tell since the photo was in black and white, but the car looked like it was either grey or a shade of black. The license plate was obscured. It was hard to see what make and model it was.

Emily stared at it, hoping that something would register in her mind. There was a sense of de ja vu, but she couldn’t figure out why.

She didn’t know that it was the same car that had been outside her house the weekend she’d moved in. The same car that had been outside school her first day back. The same car that had been at the frat party the night Alison got drunk. The same car that Alison had just missed seeing the night Emily was in the hospital.

It was just a generic car.

A generic car that Emily would see again soon. But she’d never see it coming.

* * *

January kicked into high gear at work and school. Emily had picked up some extra shifts at the gym. It helped keep her mind occupied. Her insomnia had gotten much worse. The only thing that kept her focused was boxing. It also gave her a boost in her confidence. If she came face to face with whoever was threatening her she’d be ready.

Alison still bitched about it. She didn’t like that Emily was still boxing. She thought it was too dangerous. Then again, she thought _everything_ was too dangerous. And it was starting to grate on Emily’s nerves.

 _“Didn’t that day in the school gym teach you anything?”_ she’d griped before Emily left for her shift at work on Friday.

 _“That wasn’t because I was boxing. I’m safest when I’m alert. I stay alert by keeping up with my boxing.”_ Emily had kissed her before she left.

Alison had pouted as she watched her drive off on her bike, something else she was not happy about. It was still really cold out and it had been snowing sporadically.

Emily claimed that she needed to ride it every once in a while to keep the engine from dying, but Alison got the sense that there was more to it than that. She knew that Emily was struggling…that she felt like she was losing her identity in her pregnancy. And her bike helped with that, though the winter had made most of her rides very short.

Emily was smart on her bike. She was very careful. That was the only thing that eased Alison’s mind about her riding.

Emily stayed late after her shift to take a refresher course with Jake. She was working on her footwork.

She focused on her breathing as she threw punches and jabs at the training mitts. She threw a left hook that was slightly off-center and almost clipped Jake. He was quick enough to avoid it.

“Focus. You’re too in your head,” Jake said.

Emily knew he was right, but it was hard for her to get out of her head. She took a breath and took another swing. This time it connected. He swiped at her and she blocked him.

They kept at it for nearly half an hour. When the session was over Emily grabbed her sports drink. She was dripping with sweat, mostly because she was wearing a sweatshirt to hide her bump.

“You’re usually a little more on the ball.” Jake pulled the punch mitts off. He grabbed his drink. “Everything okay?”

“Just got a lot on my mind.”

“I can tell.” Jake gave her a wry smile.

“Okay, I wasn’t _that_ bad.” Emily rolled her eyes. “I’ve just got a lot happening. Senior year, you know?”

“Yeah. I get it.” Jake nodded. He eyed her incredulously, like he knew she was keeping something from him, but he couldn’t figure it out.

Emily knew she had to tell him. Soon. But she was afraid he wouldn’t let her box anymore. And that was the only thing keeping her sane.

They heard footsteps approaching. When Emily turned around she saw Mike walking into the room with his gym bag.

“I got next.” Mike tossed his bag against a bench.

“Hey, Mike.” Emily put her drink down.

“Yo, Em.” He waved. “Wanna spar a little?”

“Nah, I’m spent for the day.” Emily shook her head. “Is Aria with you?”

“Ezra’s office.” He threw his thumb up and pointed out the door.

“What was on their reading list this week?” Emily laughed.

“ _Don Quixote_.” Mike threw a few practice jabs at the air.

Normally when two people were enclosed in a small room together Emily knew they were doing more than just talking. But when Aria and Ezra were together she knew they were _actually_ talking about books.

“They’re such nerds.” Mike shook his head with a laugh.

“You still watch Scooby Doo cartoons.” Emily pointed out.

“Because Velma is hot.” Mike grinned.

Emily wasn’t surprised that he was into the dark-headed nerdy chick with glasses. He followed Mona around like a puppy at school.

“You need an intervention for your attraction to cartoon characters.” Emily teased him.

“Let’s see what you got, Montgomery.” Jake reached for the training mitts.

Mike did a sorry excuse for a karate kick that came off really dorky. He almost landed on his ass.

“That was on purpose.” He faced Emily, his face red in embarrassment.

“Whatever you say, Karate Kid.” Emily winked.

She threw a towel around her neck and grabbed her things.

She walked into the lobby and saw Sabrina at the front desk talking to Toby.

“Hey, Sabrina.” Emily wiped her face with her towel.

“Emily, hi.”

“I saw the video you posted on Tiktok of Mike’s epic show.” Her favorite part had been when Mike pulled Mona on stage to sing “Wannabe” with him. Unsurprisingly, she had a fantastic singing voice.

“The girls ate it up. The three of us made almost triple tips that night. He’s a ham, but he’s a prize ham.” Sabrina laughed.

“What brings you around?” Emily asked. “Got another show in the works?”

“Actually, yeah. We’re organizing a weekly open mic night. Aria told me that Ezra might be jazzed to do some of his poetry readings.”

That sounded horribly boring.

“Isn’t the whole point of an open mic to draw in a crowd, not chase it away?” Emily reached for the flyer with a laugh.

“Emily Fields, coming out swinging.” Toby chuckled. “You know throwing a jab at someone only works if they can hear it, right?”

“Then I’ll put it in my stand-up act.” Emily flashed them a cheeky smile.

“Want to sign up?” Sabrina looked excited that someone was taking an interest.

“That was the punchline.” Emily shook her head. “Me doing stand-up would drive out as many people as Ezra’s sappy poetry.”

“Personally, I think you’d crush it.” Toby shrugged. He picked up the flyers and looked at Sabrina. “I’d be happy to hang these.”

“That would be awesome. Thanks.” Sabrina turned to face Emily. “So, besides stand-up, do you have any hidden talents?”

 _Hidden_? Yes. _Talent_? Unless her baby could tap dance inside of her, no.

“Not really. Ali sings and plays the piano though. I can see if she’d be interested.”

“The more the merrier.” Sabrina smiled.

She was so bubbly. Emily liked her. She’d been nice to her since the day Emily had walked into the coffee shop.

“I’m really glad I ran into you.” Sabrina reached into her pocket and pulled out a key. “The apartment is move-in ready. It’s about a block from here. If you feel like braving the elements I can take you by to see it if you want.”

“Yeah. That’d be great.”

When they stepped outside the cold air washed over her. Emily’s feet and back were aching. She knew her ankles were going to be swollen by the time night came around. She’d been retaining water for weeks. She could see it in her face. She was puffier than usual.

“It’s the one bedroom, right?” Emily asked as they walked down the sidewalk.

“Yeah. They just replaced the flooring and the light fixtures. It’s a really nice set up.”

“Awesome.”

A gust of wind blew the wintry air into their faces. It felt good to Emily at first, but then her sweat started to cool against her skin. She reached into her bag and pulled out a jacket to put on over her sweatshirt.

“We can grab an Uber if it’s too cold.” Sabrina offered.

“I’m good.” Emily waved it off. “I like the cold.”

“Ah, part Alaskan?” Sabrina asked jokingly.

Emily laughed.

“Nah, I just missed this kind of weather when I was in Texas. It was always hot as hell in San Antonio. Makes me appreciate the winter a lot more.”

“Give me the heat any day.” Sabrina rubbed her hands together and blew a hot breath against her fingers to try and warm herself up.

Emily reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a set of gloves. She handed them to Sabrina, who thanked her and put them on.

They turned down a street heading towards the apartment complex.

Just as they were rounding the corner, Alison spotted them. From a distance she wasn’t sure it was Emily, but then she heard her unmistakable laugh. She cocked her head, glaring at the tall skinny blonde next to her.

Who the fuck was she with? Didn’t she know it was dangerous to run off with strangers?

She thought about following them, but she didn’t want to seem clingy. But she didn’t like Emily disappearing with strangers, especially not when someone was threatening her.

She had no way of knowing that Emily was just getting a tour of her new apartment. Sabrina told her a little bit about the neighborhood and told her she was pretty sure she could get her a good deal on the rent.

Emily made an appointment with the leasing office to come back and sign the paperwork and put a down payment down the next day.

After they were done looking at the apartment they walked back to the gym, where Alison was impatiently waiting.

It was starting to get dark, so the street lights were automatically turning on. Alison heard them before she saw them. She would recognize Emily’s voice anywhere. When she saw them approaching she did her best to appear unbothered.

“Emily!” She waved.

“Ali, hey, I didn’t realize you were here.” Emily smiled.

“I thought we could go out for dinner.” Alison reached for her hand. She pulled Emily in for a kiss. Alison wanted the blonde she was with to know that Emily was taken.

“I’m kind of sweaty and gross.” Emily pulled back. “Plus, we’ve got that Econ test coming up.”

“So let’s do take-out and have a study sesh.” She was practically hanging all over Emily.

Emily gave her a weird look, wondering what was wrong with her. It wasn’t abnormal for Alison to go all out with public displays of affection, but this felt extreme…even for her.

“I’ve got to take off.” Sabrina glanced at her phone to try and kill the awkward tension. “Emily, give me a call if you need anything else.”

“Thanks again.” Emily waved.

As Sabrina walked away Alison stared at her backside. She didn’t trust _anyone_ in town, and she didn’t think they could be too careful when it came to Emily’s safety.

“Who was she?” Alison asked, staring as the girl faded into the distance.

“You can’t be serious.” Emily cocked her head. Alison had seen her all the time at _The Brew_. “You don’t recognize her from _The Brew_?”

“Oh…” Alison had been so focused on hating the girl that she didn’t even realize she recognized her. “The coffee girl.”

“Yeah. Sabrina. She’s the one helping me get my apartment. You have met her _several_ times. Do you just…not look at faces…”

“Only yours.” Alison smiled. She leaned in for a kiss. She noticed that Emily wasn’t very receptive. “What? I’m just trying to look out for you. You can’t be too careful with this freak out there…”

“That’s not why you’re asking.”

She’d seen the way Alison was behaving, like an animal marking its territory. It was the same way that she’d been behaving at Hanna’s house during the fashion show. It was the side of Alison she hated.

“Look, I’m yours. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that.” She took Alison’s hands, trying to comfort her. “But I have other friends, too.”

“I know that.” Alison pulled away. She looked offended. “And I trust you. It’s other people I don’t trust.”

“If you trust me then you shouldn’t have to worry about other people.” Emily pointed out.

“You just…you don’t realize the way people look at you.” Alison frowned bitterly. “You have such a charismatic and alluring personality…”

“Is that a problem?”

“No. I just don’t want them to think that you’re slutty or something.”

Alison hadn’t thought it through before she said it. She immediately glanced at Emily’s stomach, realizing the impact of her words.

“Wow.” Emily took a step back and pulled her hands away from Alison’s. She looked stung by the words. “Of all the people in the world to call me a slut…”

People were going to be talking about that as soon as they found out about her pregnancy. They were going to be calling her all kinds of names, and Emily and Alison both knew it.

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Alison was frustrated, but not at Emily. She was mad at herself. Her words never came out right. “I just know how people in this town talk.”

“I know. You used to be one of them.”

“Let’s not make this into something it’s not…”

“The only person making it into something is _you_.”

“Because I care about you!” Alison raised her voice. She hated that they were arguing. “Can we just…back up? I don’t want to fight.”

“We’re not fighting.” Though Emily’s tone suggested otherwise.

Alison remembered what Emily had said about the way Courtney acted. She had to be better than that.

She knew that Emily’s heart belonged to her. Logistically she knew it. But sometimes she saw Emily with other people and she just saw a flash of red. But she didn’t want to be like that. She tried to rein in her temper.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” She knew that stress wasn’t good for the baby and the last thing she wanted to do was stress Emily out.

“I’m not upset.” Emily’s face was tense, but she didn’t look mad.

She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t upset. She was just conflicted about what she wanted in life. She felt a little lost. And a little lonely. The loneliness felt strange to her, because she had so many people in her life that loved her.

She wasn’t sure how to explain to Alison that she was wading through some really heavy emotions about her pregnancy and the baby…about her future. She wasn’t sure how to talk to anyone about the doubts she was having.

“Em…talk to me.” Alison pleaded.

“I’m kind of wiped, Ali. I just want to go home.”

“Let me drive you. It’s too cold to walk.” Alison wrapped her arms around herself. She was starting to feel the chill.

Emily saw her shivering. She pulled off her jacket and wrapped it around Alison’s shoulders. She reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out the same gloves she’d let Sabrina wear on their walk to the apartment. Alison put the gloves on.

Emily’s gesture made Alison feel terrible. She was out here making accusations and Emily was taking care of her.

“Come on. Let’s go home.” Alison repeated.

She knew she could fix it if she could just get Emily alone and explain what she was thinking. She just wanted to hold her. And kiss her. And let her know how much she cared.

Emily gave her a patient smile, which is more than Alison thought she deserved.

“My bike is parked out back.” Emily reached into her bag and pulled her keys out. “I don’t want to leave it out here.”

“The roads have black ice everywhere.”

“Not anymore. It was clear on the way out. Trust me, my dad made me check the weather and traffic a half a dozen times before he’d let me leave the house.”

“It’s not safe.” Alison desperately reached out and grabbed her arm. “You’re coming with me.”

Emily gently pulled away. She appreciated that Alison cared so much, but the harder Alison pushed the more Emily felt like she was being boxed in. She didn’t understand the sudden feelings of isolation. She’d been reading about loneliness during pregnancy, but it was hard for her to talk about. She wanted to open up, but she was still trying to figure out how to do that.

“I appreciate your concern. I do. But I’m getting tired of you treating me like I’m made out of glass.” There was no malice in her tone at all. “I just…I need some space, okay?”

 _What does THAT mean?_ Alison tried not to panic. Things were going so well with them. She didn’t want to screw it up.

“You are so stubborn.” Alison grumbled. “I’m being perfectly logical and you’re getting mad at me for it?”

“I’m not mad. I’m just tired. And I need to think. And I have some packing to do.” Emily reached out and touched Alison’s cheek. She gave her a kiss. It felt like a pity kiss and Alison didn’t like it. “I’ll call you later.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful.” Alison’s eyes locked on Emily’s gaze. She touched the side of Emily’s neck with the palm of her left hand and softly put her right palm against her stomach.

“I always am.” Emily rubbed her thumb against Alison’s cheek.

She kissed her again. Her lips were so warm. Alison marveled at how she was always able to stay so warm. She felt the sting of the cold air when Emily pulled away.

She wanted to chase after her, but she also wanted to give Emily space. She didn’t know what she was doing anymore. She hadn’t ever been in a relationship before. She’d never been in love before.

Emily turned the corner, disappearing from Alison’s sight. Her thoughts were racing, not just from the spat with Alison, but with the idea of moving out of her parent’s house and changing the course of her entire life. She was painfully aware of the ticking timeline in her life.

She secured her workout bag on the back of her bike with jump cables and slid her helmet on. As she started up the motorcycle she took a moment to appreciate the feel of it. She knew she wouldn’t be able to ride it for much longer. She was getting bigger, and that meant her balance was likely to be off. Her doctor had told her it was almost getting to that point.

The exhaust and the engine felt hot against her legs. Everything about her bike soothed her. The sound. The vibration. The noise. She took a few minutes to breathe. She didn’t like to ride when she was emotional.

When she was finally calm she pulled out of the parking lot and on to the road. All of her fears and anxieties melted away when she was riding.

She was focused and fixed on the scenery, and she was alert because there was a patch of fog rolling in. It was thin in most areas, but she hit a heavy area of it when she was halfway home.

The fog was so dense that she could barely see more than a few feet in front of her. The lines on the road disappeared into the heavy white smoke. Beneath the glare of her headlight she could see fractals of frozen fog sticking to the slick patches of black tar on the road, which she easily rode around. In the distance she could see the faint glow of a green stop light, but nothing else. It was eerie.

After she rode a few miles it started to clear up. She started to go around a bend and saw headlights approaching.

The headlights flashed once. Then twice.

Emily assumed that the driver was telling her that there was more fog ahead, so she slowed down.

She heard the roar of the car’s engine, and she got a strange feeling in her gut. Something didn’t feel right. But by the time she realized it, it was too late.

As the car sped closer it started to drift over the center line. She laid on the horn, but the car just accelerated in speed and swerved into her path.


	19. Where Do We Go From Here?

* * *

**Chapter 19:**

**Where Do We Go From Here?**

Alison didn’t feel like going home. Emily had asked for her space. Alison knew that she couldn’t sit idly in her house when Emily was right across the street. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself, not with temptation so close.

She knew that Emily was struggling. She could see it. But she didn’t know how to help her. She had a feeling that she was pushing too hard. And she was afraid if she held on too tight that she would suffocate her.

But it wasn’t in Alison’s nature to let Emily sit in silence and suffer alone. She knew that if she went home she’d see Emily’s light on. She’d sit alone in her empty house, because her stupid snotty parents were gone again. She’d think about getting into her dad’s liquor. She’d get frustrated. She’d pace around her bedroom for a little while. Then she’d give in and she’d go over to Emily’s house. And she’d push, and then they would fight. Alison didn’t want to fight.

They’d never really had a fight before. They’d bickered. They’d chastised one another. But it was never anything serious. Emily said she wasn’t mad, but Alison could feel the tension between them when Emily walked away.

She’d screwed up. She knew she needed to get a handle on herself. The passion that she felt for Emily had awakened something in her that she couldn’t tamp down. Her emotions had erupted in uncontrollable ways. She needed to learn how to control herself.

Control had always been hard for her. She’d never been taught self-control as a child. She knew that she was impulsive and selfish. It was something she knew she needed to work on, if not for herself then for Emily and the baby. She knew kids needed stability. She knew exactly what happened when they didn’t have it. Because she’d never had it.

Her parents had always been absent, and as much as she hated them…she resented them all that much more for not being there for her. She hated that her mother drank. She hated that her dad was a philandering whore. Her brother was so inconsiderate and egotistical that it had taken Emily defending her honor before Jason had done something about his asshole friends.

She didn’t have any real memories with her family. Most of her conversations with her parents revolved around her mother’s narcissism and her father’s chokehold on control.

If her mother wasn’t sniping, _“Posture, Alison. I won’t have people thinking that my daughter is a slouch”_ then it was her father sneering at her and saying, _“Don’t forget your place in this family.”_

Her mother was always telling her not to talk to “the help” because they were inferior. Her father was constantly snapping at her for no good reason. And Alison thought that was normal. She thought that every family was like that.

It wasn’t until she met Emily that she realized how good it felt to love and be loved. Emily had been the first person in her life who had _cared_ about her. The brunette had come along and changed her entire world. That’s why she held on to her so tightly.

Emily changed everything. Alison knew the second she saw her moving boxes with her father that she was something special. It wasn’t every day that a girl with purple streaks in her hair and a motorcycle rolled into town. She was unique, and she had that little taste of danger that Alison craved.

The more she learned about her the more she fell for her. She wanted to know everything about her. But she hadn’t been expecting such a huge curveball. Learning about the baby had been intimidating. And also a little bit exhilarating.

She knew that the pregnancy was going to be challenging. But she had no idea the emotional toll it was going to take on them, especially with a psycho somewhere behind the scenes.

Emily had asked her several times if it was too much pressure for her. She’d given her plenty of time to think everything over. But like everything else in her life, Alison made her decision out of impulse. And out of love. Because she was certain she did love Emily. She just didn’t realize how hard it would be to waver through that love.

What she wouldn’t give to be back in the treehouse the moment right before Emily had told her about the baby. Sometimes she wondered where they would be if Emily wasn’t pregnant.

Had she just wished the baby didn’t exist?

The thought was fleeting, but it made her sick to her stomach. She hated herself for thinking it. She had embraced Emily’s child the second she found out about her. Why was she suddenly considering the baby a bad thing?

She loved that little bean. She loved seeing her move around during ultrasounds. She loved picturing what her tiny little smile would look like. She loved wondering if she would look exactly like her mother. A little mini-Emily.

She would be so lucky to be a part of the baby’s life. The world would be a better place with a little piece of Emily’s heart out of her body. That little girl was going to be so loved.

There was no doubt in Alison’s mind that any child of Emily’s was going to put an amazing amount of love back into the world. And if anyone ever abused that love Alison would rip them to shreds.

She felt a wave of emotions.

No wonder Emily was an emotional wreck. If Alison was feeling just a fraction of what Emily was feeling, it was too much.

She drove around the city for a little while. But she couldn’t go home, not if she wanted to honor Emily’s wishes. The desire to be with her was too overwhelming. She didn’t even want to be in the same city. She wanted to be as far away from Emily as possible so she didn’t do something dumb.

Unfortunately, that drove her to do something even dumber.

She dug her fake ID out of her glove compartment and hightailed it out of town to a bar just on the outskirts of Rosewood.

She sat in a parking spot sulking for a few minutes as she stared at the small brick building. It had been there for decades. It was a big hangout spot for the college crowd. It had surprisingly good food for a bar. But it wasn’t food that Alison wanted. She just wanted something to numb her nerves.

She didn’t like it when she fought with Emily. Because Emily didn’t fight back. Emily was a fighter in many ways, but when it came to disagreements between the two of them she was passive. She pulled away. And that scared Alison.

She stared at her phone, hoping to see a message from Emily. She didn’t have any new alerts. She unlocked the screen and stared at her background photo. It was a photo of the two of them kissing. A selfie that Alison had sneakily snapped one afternoon after school.

Alison smiled at the image. She started flipping through her photo gallery to browse through all the pictures she had of the brunette. She sat outside the bar for almost twenty minutes going through her pictures.

Images of Emily sitting in the sun. Pictures from the day they’d gone to the apple orchard. Emily in the pool. Emily dripping with sweat at the gym. There were pictures of the two of them in Alison’s treehouse and at school. She had even snapped a few of herself kissing Emily’s stomach.

She stopped scrolling when she got to a photo of them standing in front of a mirror. Emily was behind her, her arms wrapped around her waist, kissing her cheek. Alison had her eyes closed and her mouth was curled up in a smile.

The next picture was Emily’s latest ultrasound. Emily rarely cried, but Alison had seen her shed a few tears that day. They could see her daughter’s tiny little face. Her button nose. Her pensive little thoughtful lips. The peaceful expression on her face.

Alison pulled up Emily’s number. Her finger hovered over the “call” button. At the last second she pulled back.

She knew she needed to distract herself, so she went inside the building and went straight for the bar. She grabbed a menu and casually browsed it.

There was a poppy upbeat song playing from somewhere. There were a few people scattered about. The place was fairly empty, because it was still early. The crowds didn’t usually start to pack the place until later.

Alison ordered a vegetable platter appetizer and a martini. The bartender didn’t even bother asking for her ID.

While she was waiting on her order she debated on sending Emily a message. She composed and sent a text, telling herself she was just checking in on her. But really, she just wanted to talk to her.

**_Just want to make sure you made it home okay. Not trying to pry in your space. Just want to make sure you’re safe._ **

After she sent it she cursed herself. It sounded really bitchy. She stared at the _“not trying to pry in your space”_ line and felt like dying inside. Nothing she was saying was coming out right. No matter what she did she would never be good enough for Emily.

It only made matters worse when Emily didn’t text back.

She sat at the bar worrying about the way they’d left things.

She nursed her drink and stared at her phone, waiting for signs of life from her girlfriend.

 _Shit._ She _was_ still her girlfriend, wasn’t she?

She finished her first drink and then asked for another. The bartender never even looked twice at her. He took her empty glass away and brought her another drink.

She stirred the beverage slowly, the stirrer clinking up against the side of the glass. She was so hypnotized by the swirl of the liquid that she didn’t notice the guy sitting down next to her.

She heard the barstool scuffing up against the floor and she looked over. She squinted her eyes to adjust to the dim light of the bar. She was trying to get a better look at him. She was so drunk she saw two of him. After a few seconds her blurred vision corrected itself and she was able to see him more clearly.

He was young. Kind of cute. He had a little bit of scruff on his face, but not much. His eyes were obscured by the baseball hat on his head. He looked like a townie. His sweatshirt looked like something a frat guy might wear, but his jeans were wrinkled and untidy. His sneakers had flakes of red paint on them. For a second, it looked like blood. She was certain she’d seen that color paint somewhere before, but she couldn’t remember where.

She glanced at his face again. He smiled politely and then faced the bartender and asked for a drink.

Alison didn’t pay much attention to him. She turned her focus back to her drink. She picked it up and stared at it. Then she downed it in one swift motion.

“Impressive.” The guy laughed.

“It’s my best magic trick.” Alison shook her head to try and ignore the burning sensation in her throat. “I make alcohol disappear. Ta-da.” She put her glass down.

“That’s quite the act.”

“I’m good at making things disappear.” Including her girlfriend…who wouldn’t call her back.

He swiveled on his barstool.

“You look like a girl who likes to have fun.”

She opened her mouth to tell him to bug off and that she was a taken woman, but instead all that came out was,

“Depends.” She looked at her empty glass.

He moved a little closer. Alison wasn’t at all surprised by the attention. People fawned on her everywhere that she went.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked. Alison looked up at him with a look of distrust on her face. “I promise I’m not one of those creeps that tries to slide in and hit on girls in bars.” He looked around. The bar was starting to get crowded. “This is actually my first time here. Heard they have really good wings.”

“I’m more of a breast girl myself.” Alison couldn’t believe she’d said that out loud. She slapped her hand over her mouth and started laughing. “Sorry. It’s just…” _It’s just I’m thinking about my girlfriend and how amazing she would look naked right now. Her breasts are delicious._ “Sorry.” She giggled.

“I’m Cole.” He extended his hand.

“Alison.” She took it and gave it a half-ass shake.

“Ah, like Alison Riske.” He smiled.

“I’m not risqué.” Alison frowned drunkenly at him. At least, not for anyone but Emily.

He chuckled as the bartender set his drink down in front of him.

“Not risqué. Riske. She’s a tennis player. She’s from Pittsburgh.” He took a sip of his alcohol.

“Oh.” Alison nodded. “So, are you from Pittsburgh?”

“No. I’m just passing through. On my way to see a friend in Buffalo.”

“Do they not have buffalo wings in Buffalo?” It sounded a lot funnier in her head than it sounded out loud.

“It’s a long drive,” Cole replied. “I need as much fuel as my car.”

“Why are you coming through Rosewood to go to Buffalo?”

“I’m coming from Cape May.”

“Isn’t that like a nine hour drive?”

“Not the way I drive.” He flashed a smile at her.

The mention of his driving made Alison wish she was on the back of Emily’s bike. She wanted to close her eyes and feel the wind around her. She wanted to feel carefree with her girlfriend at the helm. But things were changing. They were changing faster than she could get a handle on them.

She was so afraid that she was losing Emily. She felt like an idiot for the way she’d behaved earlier. But the further Emily got into her pregnancy the more possessive Alison felt.

Even stranger was the fact that she wasn’t just terrified that she might lose Emily. If she lost Emily then she lost the baby, too. It was weird, because she didn’t even _like_ kids. But she was in love with the idea of meeting the baby. She was in awe of Emily and she couldn’t wait to see her with her baby. And she wanted to be part of it.

Emily felt like home to her. She felt like family. And Alison had never been part of a family that actually _wanted_ her. So she didn’t want to screw it up.

She couldn’t help but stew in her restlessness. Her feelings were so complex. She felt alive with the brunette. Before Emily had come along she felt like she’d just been existing. But when they met she felt something inside of her shift.

Sometimes it scared her how much she cared. Emotions were complicated, and sometimes she wished she could go back to not feeling anything at all, because at least then she wouldn’t feel terror and heartbreak every time she had a disagreement with Emily.

In her heart she knew that she was making a bigger deal out of it than it really was. Emily had probably already forgotten about it. Riding her bike always helped her clear her head.

Alison stared at her phone again and silently grumbled about Emily not texting her back. If Emily was mad, it was one thing. But Alison was concerned by her radio silence, especially since Emily had someone torturing her.

She sent another text.

**_U ok?_ **

“So, who’s the guy?” Cole asked.

His voice startled Alison. She’d momentarily forgotten where she was and what she was doing.

“Huh?” She peeled her eyes away from her phone.

“You keep looking at your phone and making a face I recognize all too well. What’s got that heart of yours all twisted up?”

Alison frowned at him. She wanted to tell him it was ignorant to assume it was a guy she was pining over. It was the 21st century. How did people still walk around assuming things like that? She glanced at two girls snuggling up together in a booth. She wished it was her and Emily.

“There is no guy.” She mumbled.

“Ah. Girl, then?” He casually tipped his glass forward and took another sip of his beverage.

Maybe he wasn’t as ignorant as she thought. But Alison didn’t answer him. She didn’t want to talk to some stranger about her relationship.

“Sorry for assuming. The wings and breasts comment should have tipped me off,” he said. “Whoever it is…don’t let them make you cry. You’re far too pretty for that. Besides, if you two are right for one another it’ll work out.”

It was the first helpful thing he’d said. Maybe he wasn’t as slimy as the other bar toads. She stared at her empty glass.

“I think I’ll take that drink.”

“You got it.” He smiled and raised his hand to grab the bartender’s attention.

After she was another drink in she started gushing about Emily. Then she lamented about Emily. Then she bragged about Emily. She went through her phone showing photo after photo of her girlfriend to Cole, careful only to show pictures of Emily above the waist.

He was friendly enough. Amenable even. He didn’t seem to mind Alison dominating the conversation.

Alison sighed and stared at a photo she’d taken of Emily next to her motorcycle. She was leaning up against it looking up at the trees. Emily loved the trees. Alison loved that Emily loved the trees. She was in her regular biking attire. Black pants and her black riding jacket. The sun had hit her just right through the breaks in the trees.

She was the most gorgeous person Alison had ever laid eyes on. She remembered thinking that day just how lucky she was that Emily wanted to be with her.

“She seems like a great girl.” Cole sipped his drink.

He’d finished up his wings. He had somehow managed not to get messy while eating one of the messiest foods that existed. He wiped his hands on his napkin.

“That’s a nice bike.” He leaned over to admire the photo. “She a good driver?”

“She’s a good everything.” Alison smiled warmly. _She’s MY everything._ “She’s pretty and smart and funny.” Alison leaned her elbow against the bar. She felt warm and tired in the best way. “She’s my best friend.” _I think I’m in love with her._

The thought was jarring. She’d never loved anyone before. It was terrifying. Love was scary. Feelings were scary.

She looked at the stranger next to her. For some reason she felt comfortable talking to him. It was easier to talk to someone she didn’t know. Because she didn’t give a shit if a stranger judged her.

“Have you ever met someone and you just…know your life would never be the same without them? It’s like…” Alison looked down at her phone, “…it’s like you give them every part of yourself, but it doesn’t feel like enough. You want to give them more. You want to give them the world. Because _they_ are your world. And you’re only complete with them in your life.” Alison glanced up at Cole, unsure if her gibberish was coherent. “Does that make sense? Do you have anyone in your life like that?”

His eyes flashed, but his face remained completely stoic. He seemed to be lost in thought.

“I’ve got a girl back home.” He stared into his empty glass. “Gorgeous. Smart. Killer smile.” He traced his index finger around the rim of his glass. He looked up at Alison. “You kind of remind me a little bit of her. And I’m not using that as a line or anything.” He flashed a smile at her. There was something about it that sparked a familiarity in her brain.

Alison pinched her brow in thought. She felt like she had seen him before, but she didn’t _know_ him.

“Have we met before?” Alison asked.

“You and my girlfriend?” He seemed confused.

“No. You and me. You look familiar.”

“I don’t think so. But I do have one of those faces.” He playfully rubbed his chin. “People confuse me with Superman all the time.” He winked.

It was vain and narcissistic. But Alison thought it was hilarious. She slapped her palm against the bar, nearly knocking her plate to the ground. He caught it before it went airborne. It only made her laugh harder. He put the plate down and then started laughing with her.

“Nice save, Superman.” Alison snorted.

“Faster than a speeding bullet.”

“Bet that’s pleasant for your girlfriend.” Alison retorted without thinking. She didn’t feel bad about it, especially since he laughed.

“Touche.” He lifted his glass and realized it was empty. He waved the bartender over. “Can we get a couple of shots over here?”

Alison played with her phone as Cole ordered them another round of drinks and then excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Alison opened her messaging app. Emily still hadn’t texted her back. It pissed her off. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Her phone looked like it was floating, so it took her a minute to focus on the letters.

**_Heyyyyy at least sent me a thumbsup or sommething so I no ur not dead n a ditch somwhere._ **

She didn’t notice that it was riddled with drunken errors until after she hit send.

She put her phone down on the bar just as Cole was sitting back down.

“Anything yet?” Cole asked.

“She’s stubborn.” Alison shrugged, trying to convince herself that everything was fine. She was just blowing things out of proportion. She knew that Emily loved her. “What about you? How come your girlfriend isn’t with you?”

“She’s out of town. Away game,” he said.

“She’s an athlete?” Alison questioned. “Well, that’s one quality I don’t share with her.”

“Really?” He seemed surprised. “You look like you’re in pretty good shape.”

“I mean…I exercise with my girlfriend.” Alison was flattered.

She wasn’t surprised by his compliment. She’d been blessed with great looks. She took a moment to take stock of the rest of the girls in the bar. She was by far the prettiest one there.

“Me, too. Perks of dating an athlete.” He nodded with a smile. “She keeps me on my toes.”

“You got a picture of her? I want to make sure I’m prettier.”

He laughed.

“I don’t have my phone on me.”

“What kind of psychopath doesn’t bring their phone into a bar?” Alison feigned disgust.

“The kind of psychopath who forgot to charge it before a ten hour trip and was forced to leave it on the car charger.” He had a sheepish look on his face. “And the kind of psychopath who will be paying for it later after said girlfriend can’t reach him.”

Alison knew exactly how it felt to not be able to reach her significant other, so she was going to side with his girlfriend on that one.

She gave him a hard time.

“Sounds like someone is…” She snapped her hand in a back and forth motion, mimicking a whip, “whiiiiiped.”

“If you knew her you’d understand.” He didn’t seem bothered. He had a stupid grin on his face.

“The sex is that good, huh?” Alison’s filter had flown out the window.

Cole spit out the French fry that he was chewing on and almost choked in laughter. Alison grinned in pride.

“Jesus, warn a guy next time.” He pounded his chest with a fist to try and curb his choking.

Alison giggled and took a sip of her drink. Her mouth was parched. She realized there was nothing in the glass. Looking at the bone dry dish made her suddenly aware of how badly she needed to pee. She told him she’d be right back and then walked away from the bar area.

She tried to multitask as she walked and scrolled through her text messages at the same time. She nearly ran into a table and a barstool twice. She bumped into an older patron as she was on her way into the bathroom area.

She stumbled into a stall and closed the door. She sat down, her head spinning. She felt dizzy. She took a moment to try and get her bearings. Was she flirting with some stranger in a bar? What the hell was she _doing_?

“This isn’t you,” Alison uttered to herself. “You’re better than this.” _Emily deserves better._

She scanned the graffiti on the wall. There was a bunch of trashy shit written in various different colors. There were some inappropriate sketches and phone numbers, too. She spent a good five minutes staring at all the deviant artwork. Some of it was very realistic. Some of it was funny.

As she was finishing up in the bathroom she stopped to stare in the mirror. She peered at her reflection, barely recognizing herself.

She didn’t know why she was acting this way. She didn’t understand what was happening in her brain. Emily had her heart all kinds of twisted up. She made her want to take chances. And sometimes her feelings were so strong that she acted irrationally.

She glanced at her phone. Why wasn’t Emily calling her back? She was starting to get worried. Something was eating away at her. Something didn’t feel right.

She knew drunk dialing was dumb, but she did it anyway. She waited in anticipation as the call connected.

Emily didn’t pick up. She listened to the sound of her voice on her voicemail.

“Hi. Hey. I…” Alison stopped talking when she realized the voicemail hadn’t prompted her with the beep yet. She waited. And waited. And waited.

Then she realized she’d missed the beep, and for some reason that was hysterical to her. She started laughing so hard that she snorted.

“It didn’t beep.” She slapped her face when she realized she’d said that out loud. “Sorry. Em, I didn’t mean it. I fucked up. But you’re just…you’re so cute and pretty and just…the best ever. And I get stupid sometimes. I’m a dumbass. But I’m _your_ dumbass. I want to be your dumbass. I want to be your everything ass.”

What was she saying?

“That came out wrong. Sorry. I’m rambling. I don’t know where you are, but I’m starting to worry. Just…call me.”

After she hung up she straightened herself up and walked towards the door. As she was reaching to pull it open it came swinging at her hard. She stumbled back, narrowly missing getting smacked in the face with it.

Alison dropped her phone. She didn’t see where it went because a bunch of stuff came out of nowhere, scattering all over the floor. It took her a second to realize that the person rushing in had dropped her purse.

She looked up to yell at them to be more careful, but then her eyes met the tear-stained face of a young blonde woman.

Alison froze, the blonde triggering a weird knee-jerk reaction. But then she realized that the girl had brown eyes. She was seeing Courtney everywhere, even in total strangers.

The girl’s face was heavily padded in make-up. She looked like she was in college. Her mascara was running down her cheeks. Her nose was fire-engine red. She looked pissed, but when she realized she’d nearly knocked Alison out with the door her face softened apologetically.

She leaned down to try and gather the contents of her purse. Coins. Nail polish. Make-up. A phone charger. Keys. Hand sanitizer. Tampons. Sunglasses. Gum. Lotion. The girl had an entire suitcase in her purse.

“I’m so sorry, hon.” She looked like she was about to break down. “I have had the _literal_ worst night. My jackass boyfriend is cheating on me with another girl.”

“What a dick.” Alison huffed out.

The girl looked up at her and let out a boisterous laugh. She started digging through her mess.

“Shit. My hand sanitizer spilled everywhere. Can you grab some paper towels?”

She started to tell the girl she wasn’t her damn maid and to get her own damn paper towels, but then she asked herself what Emily would do. Emily would valiantly swoop in like a white knight and save the day.

Alison looked up and realized that there were no paper towel dispensers. People were trying to save the planet, which meant less paper towels for some reason. She walked into a stall and grabbed a wad of toilet paper.

When she emerged the girl had gotten everything together. She was wiping her sunglasses off with her shirt. Alison handed her the toilet paper.

“You’re a doll.” The girl swiped at the floor.

She stood up and tossed the toilet paper into the trash can.

Alison looked around.

“Um…did you see my phone?”

“Your phone?” She asked in confusion.

Alison felt an internal panic. What if it had busted? How could Emily reach her if her phone was busted?

“You knocked it out of my hands when you came running in like a crazy person,” she said bitingly.

All of her sympathy had gone out the window. If this girl was the reason she missed a call from her girlfriend she was going to throttle her.

Instead of snapping back at her, the girl remained calm.

“Okay. Well, it couldn’t have gotten up and walked away. It has to be here somewhere.” She scanned the bathroom. She glanced at her purse. She rooted around for a few seconds, but then stopped. “Thought I might have accidentally scooped it up.” She looked around the bathroom again. “Check the stalls.” She moved the garbage can around to see if it had slid behind it.

Alison meticulously checked the stalls. She was checking the last one when she heard the girl exclaim,

“Found it!”

When Alison walked out of the stall she found the girl on her hands and knees pulling her phone out from underneath the sink. She reached into her pocket to grab something. She pulled out a small sanitizing wipe.

“These places are _riddled_ with germs and sex pheromones. Can’t be too careful.” She wiped Alison’s phone off. She handed it back to her. “Sorry for the trouble.”

She turned around and stared at herself in the mirror. She tried to wipe away some of her mascara, but it wouldn’t come off. She looked frustrated.

Alison watched her curiously. She wondered if that’s what heartbreak looked like. Because it wasn’t pretty. In fact, it looked quite painful. It looked like a lot of sad lonely days in sweatpants and crying.

Alison walked back into the stall and grabbed some more toilet tissue. She walked out and turned the sink on, running it under the water. Then she reached into her purse and pulled out a small make-up bag.

“Here. This should help.”

She handed the girl a travel-sized bottle of make-up remover. The girl took it without saying a word and dabbed it on to the wet tissue. She used it to clean up her face. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a tube of mascara. She reapplied it.

“Really should have gone for the waterproof.” She put the cap back on and then shoved it back into her pocket. She pulled out her lipstick and touched it up. She popped her lips out and then looked at Alison. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Stay away from the guys in this town. They’re savages.”

“I have a girlfriend.” Alison blurted out.

“Good. Good for you,” she said. “Men are dogs.”

“That’s an insult to dogs.” Alison uttered.

The girl huffed out a strained laugh.

“Stick with girls, sweetie.” She wiped her face off again. “Thanks again.”

“Yeah. Sure.” She made a move towards the door, but she felt awkward. “Hey, uh…are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine after I key the motherfucker’s car.” She shrugged casually as she walked into a bathroom stall.

Alison didn’t mean to laugh out loud, but she did. The bar scene was a weird ass scene. She had no idea what she was doing with this crowd of people.

“Good luck.” She pulled the door open and walked out.

She walked back out to where Cole was sitting. He held up two shots when he saw her coming. Alison knew she’d had too much, but she didn’t want to say no. It would be rude not to.

Alison clinked her glass against his and downed the drink. It was sour and burned going down. And it seemed to kick in a lot harder than her previous drinks. But it made her feel warm and sleepy and buzzed all at the same time.

She didn’t remember the music starting, but she looked down at one point and saw her feet moving as several of the patrons danced to some twangy cowboy song. She wasn’t sure how she’d ended up in the crowd.

She looked around at all the unfamiliar faces. For a brief second she thought she saw Wilden and she panicked. But when she closed her eyes and opened them back up he was gone. Her paranoia was getting worse.

Cole was a gentleman. He kept his distance as he tried to help her learn how to two-step. It was the oddest dance that Alison had ever tried to do.

She wasn’t a complete novice when it came to dancing. In fact, she was fairly good at the classical art of dance. But she had no idea how to cut loose to country. Emily probably would have crushed it. No doubt she’d learned how to line dance in Texas.

Alison tried to follow Cole’s motions, her eyes focused on his shoes. She kept getting distracted by the paint on them.

Once they finished dancing they went back to the bar. Alison collapsed into a drunken heap on the stool. Her stomach was doing flips. In hindsight she realized that it had been a terrible idea to get that physical with so much alcohol in her system.

“Here.” He pushed his basket of half-eaten fries over towards her. “You need to eat something.”

Alison stared at the greasy potatoes, internally groaning at the idea of ingesting them. On the other hand she knew she needed to eat something. She grabbed a fry and popped it into her mouth.

She saw Cole cringe.

“No ketchup? That might be a deal breaker. These fries deserve better than to be eaten raw.” He teasingly started to pull the basket away from her. “Have some dignity.” He shook his head, faking a shameful look.

“Dignity?” Alison laughed. “I saw you dipping them in barbecue sauce. _That’s_ degrading.” Alison grabbed another fry and ate it.

“Fair point.” He nodded. The music started up again, but Alison didn’t budge. “Feel like kicking your boots and boogeying some more?” He tried his hand at a southern accent. It was a little over-exaggerated, but it wasn’t half bad.

“What boots are you talking about, cowboy? You don’t scream ‘rodeo’ to me in those kicks.” She looked down at his shoes. The paint. Why was it so familiar? It was a bright shiny chrome red that popped. She was driving herself crazy trying to figure it out. “What’s with the ruby red slippers? You a _Wizard of Oz_ fan?”

“I volunteer with a big brother program. The kid I work with was doing set decorations for his high school play. We worked on it over the holidays.”

“Are you even real?” Alison blurted out.

“Pardon?”

She had only ever met one other person who was as kind as Cole. Emily. Emily seemed like the type to help the less fortunate. He was like the dude version of her girlfriend.

“You’re just really nice.”

“You don’t know nice people?” Cole seemed confused.

“Not really.” She shook her head. “But I brought it on myself. I was kind of a mean girl.”

She wasn’t in denial about that. She knew that most people in Rosewood either feared her or hated her. It had felt good for a long time, but she had never known that another way existed. She didn’t know that she could be around other people and keep them around simply by being nice. It was a concept that had always been lost on her.

“Well, it’s never too late to change.” He shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “And for what it’s worth, you seem like a perfectly normal girl to me.”

“Ugh, take that back.” Alison argued.

He laughed.

“Fine. I retract my compliment.” He rolled his eyes. “Can I at least tell you I think you’re a good dancer?”

“I’ll allow it.” She nodded.

“You ever two-stepped before?”

“No. Never. But my girl is a cowgirl.” Alison smiled. “Well, sort of. She’s from Texas.” She stopped and thought about it. “Well, not _from_ there. She was born in Pennsylvania, but she lived in Texas for a while. She’s smart and fun and cultured.” She hummed drunkenly and leaned her cheek against her palm. She rested her elbow against the bar. “I’ve learned so much by being with her.”

Alison had worked hard on trying to be the girl that Emily deserved. She had changed so much that she barely recognized who she was anymore. She’d even abandoned her old friends for her.

Now she had Emily’s friends…who hated her. All of them except Mike, who seemed to be the most chill person in the entire school. She’d never given Aria’s little brother credit for letting everything roll off of his back. The kid was funny, too. His mother had probably smoked dope when she was pregnant with him because he had all the qualities of a typical stoner.

Becoming friends with Emily’s friends wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Cindy and Mindy were toxic. She couldn’t imagine where she’d be now if she had chosen them over the girl of her dreams.

She looked at her phone.

Still no response.

_Emily, where are you?_

She yawned and closed her eyes.

She thought it was just for a second, but when she opened them back up everything looked different. Their dishes had been cleared. She glanced at Cole, who had her phone.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m calling you an Uber. I want to make sure you get home safely.”

“Who said anything about me going home?” Alison waved for the bartender. “One more round.”

He picked up the bottle and poured more liquor into two shot glasses.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”

“Shut up and drink.” Alison slid a glass over to him.

She wasn’t ready to go home yet. She couldn’t stand to be across the street from Emily and not be _with_ her.

She thought about how Emily was probably in her room pacing the floor and worrying about whether or not _she_ was home. She could picture the crinkled worried expression on her face. She could see her peeling back her curtains and looking across the street.

It was the last thing she thought about before her vision was swallowed in a haze of darkness.

* * *

Emily was lying on the ground, wheezing. Unable to breathe. Unable to move. She’d lost feeling in her body. All except the excruciating pain in her abdomen. She blinked, staring at the dark night sky above her. For the first time since she’d discovered she was pregnant, her body felt cold. Yet she could feel the sweat on her cheeks. She could feel a fiery burning pain in her stomach.

She needed help. She had to get help. She was in distress. Her _baby_ was in distress.

She tried to turn to her side, but the pain was unbearable. It was like someone had reached inside of her and was ripping her open. The intensity of the anguish was like nothing she’d ever felt before. But she fought against the pain.

She let out a strangled moan through her clenched teeth. Her voice was between a cry for help and a desperate agonizing wail of sorrow. It fell on deaf ears. She didn’t know how long it had been since the other driver left her to die.

She thought if she could just roll over…if she could just get moving she could get somewhere for help. She couldn’t walk. But she could most certainly crawl. She had to. For her daughter.

She’d heard stories about the rush of adrenaline that mothers experienced in order to save their children. A mother’s love could push people to do extraordinary things. A surge of strength to lift a car off of her baby is what she needed. She’d tear down the world to save her daughter.

But no matter how much strength someone had mentally and emotionally, it was only helpful if there was a working body to push through. Emily knew hers was broken and mangled. And dying. But it wasn’t her body she was worried about. It wasn’t her life that was her priority.

Her child was all that mattered.

A warm tear slid against her cheekbone, rolling backwards towards her ear, the trail of it leaving a prickling feeling against her cool skin.

She knew her baby was a fighter. Her baby was a fighter just like her mother.

 _Keep fighting._ She begged.

She knew it was fruitless. She felt an intense amount of pressure in her shattered pelvis and a backstabbing pain that radiated all the way down her lower back. Every contraction she felt down in her nerves was unending. But Emily fought it. She couldn’t bear the idea of losing the very reason her heart continued to beat day in and day out.

She couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not after she’d fallen in love with her.

_Please. I’ll do anything. Please not her. Take me instead. Just let her be okay._

But it was too late to bargain. She couldn’t do anything. She was helpless.

She tried to concentrate on the stars. Alison loved the stars. They were beautiful. Nature was comforting.

Her eyes drifted open and closed. She could feel every pulse of her beating heart, yet all she could think about was whether or not her daughter’s heart was still working. Was she still alive?

Her mobility was debilitating because every second she felt her lifeless body slipping away was a second she knew her child was in danger. And that was the most horrible feeling in the world.

Everything ached, but nothing worse than the crippling pain in her heart. The emotional pain was worse than the physical pain.

_You’d better take me, too, because I refuse to exist in a world without my baby…_

She finally mustered up enough strength to let out a scream. She couldn’t contain it. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around her little girl and keep her safe.

An intense wave of muscle contractions made her lightheaded. She was losing blood. She was losing her life. She was losing everything.

She knew it was only a matter of time before she passed out.

* * *

When she opened her eyes she saw blood circling down the drain. Her tears had dried, but she still felt completely numb. Her hands were trembling. She gently pushed her palms against her face and quietly sobbed as the spray of the shower beat down against her bare skin.

The funny thing about near death experiences was the vivid nature of how different things could have been.

Had she not swerved off of the road on to the shoulder and had she not kept control of her bike she could have lost _everything_. Her life. Her love. Her child.

The thought of what _could_ have happened scared the hell out of her. She kept closing her eyes and imagining what would have happened if she’d actually been hit. The pain was so excruciating in her hallucinations that it felt real.

She had narrowly avoided that collision. Fortunately, her defensive driving courses had kicked in and she was able to maneuver around the car. She’d never been happier that her father had forced her into safety classes.

The car had whizzed by her, nearly clipping her. She’d spun around on her bike and watched the car speeding off into the distance. She’d instinctively gone after it. She was done with the games. Between the altercation she’d had with Alison and the psychological torture she was enduring and the uncertainty about her future she was at her wit’s end.

She was pissed and tired and she was ready to fight. But the fog was too heavy, and she lost sight of the car.

When she got home she lost it. She was starting to crumble under the pressure. She didn’t need the added stress of some douchebag in the dark. She had so much pent up rage inside she didn’t know what to do with it.

So she took it out on the wall. It had ended up hurting her more than the wall. It had been a stupid thing to do, but her impulses had momentarily taken control.

She gently washed the blood off of her hands, watching the rust colored goo slip down against the shower floor. Her knuckles were bruised and bloodied.

She had tried to sneak past her parents so they wouldn’t ask questions, but her injuries didn’t go unnoticed.

She had nearly bowled her dad over on the way into the house. He had been on his way out to see if she wanted to join them for dinner.

 _“Whoa, easy, where’s the fire?”_ He’d gotten used to Emily rushing through the house, so he was always ready to catch her before they hit head-on.

 _“I just…I need…”_ Emily suddenly realized that she should have just stayed in the garage until she’d settled down. _“I’ve got to pee…”_

But it was too late. He’d caught her wrist to keep her from colliding with him and he’d seen the blood.

 _“What’s this about?”_ He’d lifted her hand and observed the bloody abrasions.

 _“Dinner is on the table. I know you’ve been craving stir fry, so I…”_ Her mother had stopped in the kitchen entryway and looked at her husband and her daughter. She’d seen the tension on Emily’s face. Her eyes immediately darted to the blood on her hands. _“My God, Emily…what happened?”_

Pam had rushed over next to her husband.

 _“It’s nothing. Just got carried away in boxing.”_ She’d muttered.

Her dad didn’t look convinced. Her mom had shaken her head in disapproval and sighed.

_“You really need to stop that silly sport at this point. It’s so dangerous. You should go back to swimming.”_

_“They don’t exactly have a pregnancy division on the high school swim team.”_ Emily had snapped sarcastically.

 _“You watch your mouth.”_ Her mother scowled.

 _“Boxing is just a part of who I am, mom.”_ It was yet another part of herself that her mother didn’t approve of.

_“You’re so stubborn…”_

God, she sounded like Alison. Everyone in her life thought that the pregnancy somehow made her incapable of thinking for herself.

Alison and her mother were the worst offenders. She’d never noticed that similarity before. Was there some weird psychological reason that she was dating someone as overprotective as her mother? Was it a Freudian thing?

Emily was annoyed, but after a few seconds she realized she wasn’t annoyed at her parents. She was just annoyed in general. She was mad about being targeted. She was mad that she couldn’t articulate her feelings. She was mad that Alison was struggling with her emotions. She was mad that she couldn’t control _anything_ anymore.

It wasn’t other people that were the problem. It was her. She couldn’t be angry at her parents or Alison for being overprotective. It was her fault for not telling them that boxing and riding were the only things keeping her sane.

 _“Why don’t we discuss this over some stir-fry? Em, wash up and join us.”_ Her dad suggested.

 _“I had a really long day and I’m not feeling very well.”_ It wasn’t a lie. She’d felt sick to her stomach since the second she’d been run off the road. _“I think I just want to shower and head to bed.”_

 _“Honey, it’s important not to skip meals…”_ Her mother had furrowed her brow anxiously.

_“I know. I really appreciate you going to the trouble. Maybe I’ll feel better after my shower.”_

She hadn’t given them the chance to ask more questions. She’d quickly made her way to her bedroom.

Something about the tone in her voice had unnerved her mother. Her instincts were going haywire. She knew something was wrong.

 _“Wayne…”_ Pam looked at her husband helplessly.

Emily was stubborn. But she’d gotten that stubborn nature from her mom and dad. And she was too stubborn to reach out for help.

 _“I know…”_ He’d nodded. He knew his little girl needed him. _“Let’s go…”_

_“She’s been pushing me away for months.”_

Occasionally Emily let her in, but more often than not she wanted her dad. It hurt Pam, but she knew a lot of their dissension was because of how she’d been treating her. Sometimes she wished she could go back and do things differently.

 _“She’ll shut down if I’m there.”_ Emily had a habit of freezing her out when she was hurting. Emily had slowly been opening up to her, asking questions occasionally, but she could still feel an invisible barrier between them. _“We can’t let her go through this alone. You remember how hard it was for me…”_ Her voice cracked.

Wayne could see how bothered his wife was by their daughter’s pain. He reached up and rubbed his hand against her shoulder blades.

 _“I’ve got it, Ma.”_ He kissed her head.

He’d given Emily about five minutes to settle down and then he’d walked towards her room. Surprisingly, she’d left the door cracked. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, trying to get her boots off. Her feet and ankles were swollen, so she was having to unlace them all the way.

 _“Hey, champ.”_ He knocked on the door. She’d looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. _“You okay?”_

 _NO!_ She wanted to shout it from the top of her lungs. She wanted to tell him everything. Instead, she just weakly smiled at him.

_“I’m fine. Just had a weird day.”_

He could see her shivering.

 _“I knew it was too cold for you to take the bike out,”_ he’d mumbled as he walked over to her bedside.

He didn’t know the real reason she was shaking. He didn’t know how close he’d come to losing his daughter and his granddaughter.

 _“It wasn’t that bad.”_ Emily kicked her left boot off. _“I just…I hit this wall.”_ Literally. Actually literally. But emotionally, too. _“I don’t know. I’ve got so much on my mind. I keep thinking about the baby…and my future. And I think I know what I want, but I’m afraid if I admit it, it’s going to change everything.”_ She swallowed hard and slowly looked up at him. _“I got the apartment.”_

 _“That’s…”_ He wasn’t sure how to react. They’d talked about it. He knew it was coming. They’d _encouraged_ her to branch out on her own. In fact, they’d pretty much outright demanded it. He couldn’t be surprised that she’d followed through. He sat down next to her. _“Do you like it?”_

 _“I do. But all this…it’s just happening so_ _fast.”_ Her emotions were out of control. She felt sad. She felt angry. She felt scared. She felt lost. _“I know I screwed up getting pregnant, but I_ _think_ …” She’d paused, _“I know…I KNOW I’m in love with my daughter. And it’s…SO much. I don’t know how to handle it. Because I feel like I’m not good enough. And I feel like a terrible mother, because I don’t know what I’m doing…”_

_“Emmy, baby…”_

_“It’s just really hard, dad.”_ She’d cried.

 _“Sweetheart…no one really knows what they’re doing.”_ He’d wrapped his arm around her. _“Pregnancy…it can be really lonely for expectant parents. There was a period of time when your mother was pregnant that she had a tough time. It’s perfectly normal to feel whatever you’re feeling. And your mother and I…we’re here for you.”_

 _“I don’t know how to talk to you guys about this.”_ She didn’t know how to talk to _anyone_ about it.

_“What about Alison?”_

Emily glanced up at him. It was very odd to hear her dad talk about her girlfriend. He didn’t dislike Alison, but he certainly didn’t go out of his way to ask about her. Her parents were coming around to her sexuality, but it was still jarring to them to see her with a girl.

_“She’s got a lot going on.”_

_“So do you.”_ Her dad touched her hand. _“Baby, you’ve spent your whole life painting yourself as a pillar of strength…”_ He’d trailed his fingers through a purple stripe in her hair. _“But even pillars need support. And that’s okay. It’s okay to need help.”_

 _“I know. But right now I just…I want to be left alone.”_ She’d wiped her tears away with her sleeves. _“Not…not forever or anything. Just tonight. I just need some time.”_

_“Okay. But when you’re ready to talk let us know. Your mom is worried about you. So am I. And you can even invite Alison over, too, if it would make you feel better. We could have dinner one night.”_

Emily bit her lip. She was afraid that would be a disaster. Her mother was passive aggressive and Alison was aggressive aggressive. It was bound to end in someone getting stabbed with a serving fork.

_“I’ll think about it.”_

Her dad leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

_“You’re doing great, kid. It may not feel like it, but you are.”_

Emily wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. For a few brief moments she forgot about the weights holding her down.

But she still felt cold.

She’d excused herself to take a shower, hoping that would warm her up.

Despite the steam surrounding her and the hot water drizzling against her body her teeth wouldn’t stop chattering. And she couldn’t stop crying. It hit her in waves. Just when she thought she was done crying another surge of feelings burst through to the surface. Her instinct had always been to control it, but she couldn’t control this. It was bigger than her. And it made her angry. It made her feel like punching away the pain. But she knew that wasn’t going to work either.

She watched as the fresh blood swirled down the drain. She flexed her fingers, grateful that she hadn’t broken anything.

She moved her palm down against her abdomen and let it rest against her bump. It was bad enough that someone was trying to hurt her. But the fact that her child could have been killed rattled her. So she stood underneath the shower head holding her bump and crying. Because it was all that she could do.

After her shower she sat in the bathroom and blow-dried her hair. Usually she let it dry naturally, but she wanted the extra heat. She still felt cold, though she knew it wasn’t from the elements. The chill was internal.

She dreaded looking at her phone. She didn’t want to see what her psycho-stalker was going to say about running her off the road.

When she did finally look she didn’t have any new messages from her cyberbully, which was weird, because they usually gloated when they attacked her. She saw several texts and a voicemail from Alison.

She felt bad about the way she’d left things with her. She hadn’t meant to snap at her. She’d been feeling a lot of emotions about the reality of seeing the apartment. Things were changing, and she knew that soon she would be on her own. It was a lot to try and wrap her head around. She had flashes of walking around the apartment with a screaming baby in her arms. She hadn’t told Alison about the obsessive thoughts she had or the anxiety that had come with the pregnancy. She was worried that something was wrong with her.

She had fleeting thoughts about how she was going to juggle work and life and a baby. She was worried that keeping the baby when there was a potential for a better life would be selfish. But it was a terrifying thought to imagine her life without her baby. She was torn between two worlds. The only thing she felt confident about was how much love she had for the little person inside her that she hadn’t even met yet.

She’d realized the infinite nature of that love the second she saw a pair of headlights bearing down on her. The person tormenting her had opened up something inside of Emily. A mother’s worst fear. She hadn’t seen her own life flashing before her eyes. She’d seen the life her daughter would never get to have. A realization had washed over her as she steered out of the clutches of death. The more this person came at her, the stronger her resolve was to protect her child. No matter what.

She closed her eyes and took a breath. She concentrated on her heart rate, letting it slow. Sometimes she could feel the slightest flutter of movement when she practiced deep breathing. And it calmed her. Feeling her baby inside of her was strange and soothing at the same time.

She reached for the most recent ultrasound photo she’d had taken. It had been on the nightstand next to her bed ever since her last visit to her OB a week ago. She’d cried when she saw her.

She smoothed her fingers over the picture. She could make out more of the baby’s features. She was starting to look more and more like a little human. Emily smiled. She couldn’t wait to meet her.

She rubbed her stomach. She had never pictured herself as one of those women who would touch her belly all the time and talk to her baby, but the changes happening inside of her had sparked something in her heart.

“Hey, baby girl.” She took a deep breath, watching as her stomach rose and then fell. “You doing okay in there? I know tonight was kind of scary…” She rubbed circles against her taut skin. “It was my fault. And I…” She felt tears stinging her eyes, “I’m so sorry. I need to do better. I owe you better. The thing is…I’m still figuring it out. But I want you to know that I will always do everything I can to keep you safe.”

She smiled timidly. She always felt awkward talking to her belly, but she took solace in the fact that her baby might be able to hear her.

She felt something that felt like a pulse from the inside, and she was pretty sure it was her daughter’s tiny little hand pressing up against hers. The subtle gesture took away every ounce of pain she felt.

“I feel you, sweetheart. And I want you to know that without a doubt…no matter what happens…mommy loves you. I’ve never loved anyone more. And I never will.”

She laughed through her tears. She took a sniffly breath through her nose.

“Oh, and…sorry about those burritos a few nights ago.” She’d had heartburn like she’d never had in her life after she’d had Mexican night with Alison.

She laid back on her bed, her hand still against her stomach, picturing her daughter’s face. It calmed her down.

After she’d managed to settle her mind she reached for her phone to listen to Alison’s message. The message made no sense. She was blabbering and saying things that she didn’t understand.

Emily quickly hit the speed dial.

Alison picked up immediately.

“You’re alive.” Alison’s voice sounded warm and happy.

_Barely._

“Yeah. Are you okay?” Emily asked.

“I…” There was a pause. “I don’t think so.” She was slurring her words. “I need your help…”

Emily’s heart sank.

She was drunk.

Again.

She seemed to be leaning on alcohol more and more to deal with her emotions. Emily didn’t like it, but she understood it. Because as terrifying as her pregnancy was for her…it was just as scary for Alison. Sometimes Emily got so wrapped up in everything surrounding motherhood that she forgot that they were just kids.

It was a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone two high-schoolers with their entire futures ahead of them. Emily had signed up for the highs and lows when she decided that she was going to have the baby. Alison hadn’t been planning for any of it. But she’d stayed with Emily, because she loved her.

“There was…there was a guy.” Alison mumbled. “But he left. Now it’s just me. I thought…I thought an Uber was coming. But it’s been like forever.”

“Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?” She flexed her sore knuckles.

“No. I danced.” She sounded like she was smiling.

“Where are you?”

Five minutes later she was walking out of her house with the keys to her parents’ car, which had been easy to finagle out of her dad, because she had him wrapped around her finger. It took her half an hour to get to the bar.

She parked the car and climbed out of the driver’s seat. She shoved her hands in her pockets and walked over towards the building. There were a few people mingling near the front entrance.

When she got closer she saw Alison slumped up against the curb. When Alison saw Emily approaching she stood up.

“You came.” Alison gripped a light pole to support herself so she wouldn’t fall over.

“Of course I came.” Emily sighed. She reached out to her to help steady her. “I’ll always come when you call.”

“I’m sorry.” Alison stared at her with her big blue eyes. “About what I said. About how I acted.”

“I know.” She was always sorry. Emily was used to hearing it. “Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t all on you. I overreacted.”

“Hormones.” Alison smiled crookedly.

“That. And I was freaking out.”

“What’s wrong?” An internal panic shot up her spine. “Is it the baby? Is everything okay…”

“She’s fine.” Emily interrupted her. “It’s me. I’m just dealing with some things. Some…uncertainties and some decisions. I’ve been thinking a lot these past few weeks. About you and me. About what this baby means for us.”

“For _us_?” Her stomach churned. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“What?” Emily drew back in surprise. “No. No, of course not. Why would you even think that?”

“Because I’m drunk outside of a bar and everyone hates me.” Alison took a wobbly step and nearly tripped over her heel. Emily caught her and held her upright.

“Who hates you?”

“I saw the way Hanna looked at me after you guys went clothes shopping. She still hates me. They all hate me. No matter what I do I’ll never be good enough. They don’t think I’m good enough. And they’re right.”

“Hey…” Emily cupped her cheek. Alison smiled at her. She was warm. _So_ warm. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks. All I care about is you.”

“You still care about me?” Alison had tears leaking down her cheeks.

“Of course I do.” Emily brushed some of her hair out of her face. “We’re going to have these moments. We’re not always going to agree. It’s part of being in a relationship…of growing up.” She licked her lips. “But I need you to realize something. Things can’t stay the way they are. I’m going to be a mother, Ali. And this…” She pointed to the bar, “I…can’t keep doing _this_. It’s a pattern with you. You get mad. And you do things like this, and I…this isn’t…” Emily hesitated. “I’m not saying any of this to hurt you. I know you’ve dealt with a lot of shit in your life. Your parents. Wilden. Ian. I get it. I do. But in order for this to work…I need you to know that when this baby comes…I need to know that you understand that I have to look out for her, too.”

“You…you’re going to keep her?” Alison blinked, her face soft and excited.

There was a long pause before Emily answered.

“Yeah. I think I am.” It’s why she’d been so freaked out after she’d seen the apartment. Her heart had been so torn about her future. She hadn’t actively been thinking about whether or not she was going to give the baby up for adoption, but she _had_ actively been working to set up a life for her without even realizing it. “And if I do I don’t want my child to be yo-yoed back and forth. I know you care about me. I also know I’m asking a lot. But if you want to be in my life…you’re going to be in hers, too.” Emily peered into Alison’s eyes. “Please don’t make me choose between you and my baby.”

Alison reached up to touch her face. Her skin was so soft. She trailed her fingers against Emily’s cheek, drawing a sloppy drunken trail with her fingertips.

“You’re so pure.” Alison stared at her.

“Come on.” Emily sighed, snaking her arm around the small of Alison’s back. “I’ll take you home.”

“I’m not wanted there either,” Alison mumbled. She sighed with a solemn look on her face. “I don’t think my parents wanted me.”

“Of course they did.” But Emily wasn’t sure that was the truth. Still, she knew Alison needed to hear it.

“They’re never home. They’re gone again this weekend. Jason, too.” Her eyes welled up with tears. “I’m alone. No one wants me.”

“You’re not alone.” Emily kissed her forehead tenderly. “You have me.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

Half an hour later she was helping Alison into her bed. She had already decided she was going to stay with her for a while since her parents weren’t home. And she didn’t want to leave Alison alone in her drunken state.

Alison peered up at her with a dreamy look on her face.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Alison smiled at her. She could always count on her girl. “I’m so lucky I have you. You’re the only one who really understands me, Em.”

She grabbed Emily’s hand and pulled her towards the bed. Emily didn’t object. She scooted in next to her. She laid on her side facing Alison.

Their eyes met. Emily’s eyes were so warm and welcoming and patient. It made Alison feel like she was lying in warm sand surrounded by sunlight. Emily looked like she was surrounded by an aura of angelic light. She saw colors radiating off of her. It didn’t feel real. She was too perfect to be real, but she was too warm to be a hallucination.

There was an unspoken exchange between them. Alison gently caressed Emily’s cheek before moving in for a kiss. Emily could taste the liquor on her breath. It tasted and smelled ten times more potent than normal. It was an odd spicy blend. But Emily was too caught up in the moment to care.

After a few seconds Alison paused and pulled back. Alison had a content smile on her face. She always felt safe in Emily’s arms.

Emily hovered over her, looking down at her. She stared at the tiny rim of crystal blue surrounding Alison’s large dilated pupils. She put her hand against Alison’s side and moved down so their foreheads were touching. They stared into each other’s eyes as Alison lifted her hand and curled her fingers against Emily’s jaw.

“You’re so beautiful, Em.” Alison uttered breathlessly.

She’d heard that pregnancy made people glow, but Emily’s luminosity was stunning.

They moved in for another kiss. Their lips crashed together with more force. It was pure animalistic urges.

Alison slipped her hand underneath Emily’s shirt, her fingers tickling her ribs as they made their way up to her chest. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her skin felt slick. Alison knew it was because of the cocoa butter she used to help with stretch marks. Her bosom was full and warm, but Alison knew her breasts were tender so she was careful not to hurt her.

Emily felt her gentleness and smiled into the kiss. Their tongues rolled together. Alison bit down on Emily’s lip and gently tugged on it. Emily rubbed her cheek with one hand and slid her other hand underneath Alison’s nightgown.

Alison felt Emily’s nimble fingers exploring her chest, squeezing and caressing and fondling the sensitive flesh. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks. A hot flash of pleasure overpowered her and she moaned into Emily’s mouth.

She started panting and grasping at Emily, trying to pull her body closer, momentarily forgetting about the bump between them. Alison’s motions were desperate and greedy and controlling. Normally, she let Emily take the lead. But she wanted to take the reins, so Emily let her. Alison rolled forward, pressing her body against Emily’s.

Emily grasped her hips to hold her steady. Alison’s nightgown started to ride up over her hips as she moved. Emily lifted her thigh and starting moving it against her. It encouraged Alison to continue. She reached up to pull her nightgown off, but she felt Emily’s soft hands against her arms.

“Hey…” Emily had to fight her desire to help her rip her clothes off. She felt Alison’s entire body tense up and then relax. She wanted Alison as much as Alison wanted her, but not like this. “Slow down.”

Emily’s compassion only made Alison want her more. There was nothing slow or delicate about it. Alison was frenzied. She could feel herself pulsing. She was gently bucking her pelvis against Emily, her body needing a release that only Emily could give her. She grabbed Emily’s fingers and pushed them in between their bodies.

Emily was riding high on her adrenaline from the near miss earlier and she was hormonal and her emotions were out of balance and she wanted to feel something other than anxiety. But she knew that Alison wasn’t in her right mind.

Emily slowed her motions and gently broke the kiss.

“Emily,” Alison whispered, gripping her wrist tightly, pushing it between her thighs. She wanted to feel _anything_ other than her emotional distress. “ _Please_.”

It was _so_ hard for Emily to resist. She could feel the heat radiating off of her. She felt her breath starting to quicken. But she looked at Alison, and she saw how vulnerable she was. She _knew_ how impulsive she was when she was drunk.

“Not when you’re drunk, baby.” She wanted Alison to be able to feel it…to connect to it…to _remember_ it.

She touched Alison’s face and gave her a soft chaste kiss. She expected Alison to beg, but Alison just buried herself in their kisses. She kissed Emily over and over. It made her feel better. She continued to capture her lips…to touch her…to hold her…until the alcohol exhaustion set in. She felt tired. She laid down against Emily’s body, snuggling her cheek up to her chest.

“You’re so warm.” Alison muttered against her skin. She was verging on scorching. “Will you stay with me?”

“Until the end of time.” Emily kissed the top of her head.

She felt Alison’s cheek twitch as she smiled at the response. Emily reached up between Alison’s shoulder blades and lovingly rubbed her back. She pressed her chin against the top of Alison’s head.

The room was silent for a few minutes. Emily thought that Alison had fallen asleep, but then she heard Alison sigh dreamily,

“I want to do this with you,” she said quietly.

“We will. Just…not when you’re totally trashed.”

“No. Not that.” Alison put her palm against Emily’s belly. “ _This_.” There was a gentle flutter that Emily felt internally when Alison rubbed her stomach. The baby always seemed to respond to her. “I’ve never had a real family. I want to be a family with you. And her. I want it to be _us_.”

Emily didn’t know what to say. It’s not like it was a surprise to her, but hearing Alison actually say it out loud touched her heart. It was quiet moments like this that reminded her why she loved Alison so much.

“I know it’s more than doctor’s visits and birth plans and prenatal vitamins. I know things are going to change after you have the baby. I know we’re young and I know what this means. But…I want to do this with you. If…if you want me.” She glanced up at Emily.

Emily was torn, because she wanted that more than anything. But she didn’t want to hold Alison back. She wanted to find a way for them to be together _and_ let Alison thrive in the future. The last thing she wanted was for Alison to feel stuck, though the blonde had not given her any indication that that was the case.

“Are you sure?” Emily asked.

“When you told me about her, I knew. I just knew. I meant what I said that night. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I want to be with you. Forever. I know I’ve been kind of a wreck. I don’t mean to be. What I did tonight…going to that bar with a certified nutjob out there after us…it was stupid. _Really_ stupid. I know that. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve just been worried because you have been in so much danger…”

Emily bit her lip. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell Alison she’d almost become roadkill earlier. The blonde was already teetering on the edge of unstable.

“I really am sorry. I heard what you said…outside the bar. And you’re right. I know I act impulsive and irrational sometimes, but it’s only because I am so crazy about you…”

Emily touched her cheek with a soft smile on her face.

“You don’t have to do crazy things to get my attention. You’ve had my heart since we were kids. And that’s never going to change.” Her thumb brushed her jaw. “I want you, Alison.” She gently grasped Alison’s hand and pushed her palm against her stomach. “I want you as much as I want her. And I never want you to think otherwise.”

It was one of the most beautiful things that Alison had ever heard, because she knew the amount of love that Emily had for her daughter.

She felt Emily’s arms wrapping around her to pull her in tighter. Alison relaxed against Emily’s body. She had never felt happier.

She drifted off to sleep. Emily could tell she was out when she felt Alison slump against her body. She glanced at the clock.

It was only 10:00.

It felt much later. The day’s events had exhausted her. She was achy and tired and she felt crampy and nauseated. But she wasn’t leaving Alison. Emily held her while she slept. She drifted in and out for a little while, checking on Alison every time she woke.

At 11:30 she heard her phone buzzing. She opened her sleep-filled eyes. Her arms were wrapped around a beautiful blonde…who was clearly still feeling her booze. She was snoring.

 _Still cute._ Emily thought to herself.

She assumed the message was from her mom. Her parents didn’t like her being out late. She carefully pried herself away from Alison and sat up against the edge of the bed.

The message wasn’t from her mother. It was a text from Caleb.

**_GOT A HIT. CALL ME._ **

Emily nearly dropped the phone. She glanced at the sleeping blonde. She didn’t want to wake her, so she quietly tip-toed out of the room and walked out into the hallway. She called Caleb and he picked up.

“Hey. What did you find out?”

“You may want to sit down.”

“Caleb.” Her voice cut sharply. After the near miss on the road Emily was tired of waiting for answers.

“It’s in Alison’s house,” he said.

Emily felt a heavy ball in the pit of her stomach. Were they in danger? Was someone there? Her eyes flickered down the hallway. She looked around for anything she could use as a weapon.

“Emily…did you hear me?” Caleb asked.

“What?”

“The phone…it’s in Alison’s house.”

“That can’t be…” Emily wasn’t comprehending it. “There has to be some mistake. I’m at her house right now. There’s no way…”

“I’m going to try and boot it remotely.”

Emily waited. She was certain he’d made a mistake.

“Emily?” Alison opened the door. She was rubbing her eyes. She yawned when she saw her. “Everything okay?”

It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.

Alison saw the look on her face and her eyes widened.

“Is something wrong?” She reached out to touch her arm, but before her fingers made contact with her skin a loud chiming noise rang out from downstairs.

Emily’s heart started thumping wildly in her chest. She bolted towards the noise, leaving a confused Alison standing in the hallway. The blonde quickly went after her.

She found her in the living room. Emily lifted the top of the piano open. She saw a phone inside taped to the side of it. Her heart sank as she reached for it. When she hit the button on the side she saw it booting.

The messaging screen popped up with a familiar text.

**_Enjoy the holidays while you can, slut. Gravy isn’t the only thing that can smother things._ **

It was the threat she’d gotten on Thanksgiving. She scrolled up, seeing several more familiar threats. She stared at the phone and then slowly lifted her eyes to meet Alison’s gaze.

“Emily? What’s going on?” Caleb asked.

Emily had forgotten her phone was still against her ear.

“Caleb, I’ll call you back.” Emily felt like she couldn’t breathe.

She cut their call off and lowered her phone. Alison peered at the burner phone in Emily’s hand. The look on her face spoke volumes. Emily’s mind started racing.

She felt her phone buzz in her hand. She thought it was Caleb calling her back. She was ready to tell him he had it all wrong. But it wasn’t him. It was from the unknown number.

**_You didn’t think I was in this alone, did you? It takes a village._ **

Emily had considered a million different scenarios, but never one so close to home. It was too painful to consider it. She waited for Alison to speak up. She wanted her to say something. She wanted her to say _anything_. But Alison just stood in front of her, perfectly silent, her lips pursed in thought.

All Emily could think about was how just hours ago she’d held the girl of her dreams in her arms, and how they’d shared intimate things and quiet moments of vulnerability. The softness…the kindness…the passion.

Alison had held her hand when she’d had her first ultrasound. And she’d held it even tighter and cried with her at her most recent doctor’s appointment. Emily saw something in Alison when she talked about her love for her and her child. She’d felt it in her heart when Alison delicately touched her belly and told her she wanted to be a family.

Emily was struggling to reconcile that any of what they had was a lie. She was struggling to believe that Alison could be involved in anything that hurt her, let alone her daughter. She thought about how much the blonde loved her…about how much she loved her daughter. She thought about how attentive Alison had been, how in tune she’d been with her needs. How could the girl who fussed about her taking her prenatal vitamins and sang lullabies to her unborn daughter possibly be involved in something so ruthless? So vicious? Surely her love wasn’t a lie.

But as doubt started to creep into her mind Emily saw the dream of the two of them and her little girl slipping away. All the hope that she had…the path that had been so clear was littered with a dense blinding fog. And just like she’d been out on the road earlier, she was caught in the headlights with no clear direction to go to avoid the collision. She wasn’t sure if she should swerve or if she should speed directly into the path of the oncoming danger.

* * *

**A/N:** _I feel the urge to apologize for my long-winded chapters after receiving a review elsewhere that my Emison stories can be wordy (it was not aimed at this particular fic). But then I thought about it and I realized that long after I’m gone my words will live on. And I like words. They’re nifty...and often necessary to lay the groundwork for a coherent story. Like Hamilton, I’mma write non-stop._

_That being said, I realize this chapter *is* hella long. And I expect more pitchforks for having Alison acting a fool (poor girl just can’t get her shit together) to deal with her feels and for the mean fake out with Emily. When I was re-reading for the edit I made a note about the family dynamics of Emily’s parents versus Alison’s...and how being unwanted makes Alison do how she do._

_More intriguing things ahead. More mystery to be solved. More words aplenty._


	20. Dazed and Confused

* * *

**Chapter 20:**

**Dazed and Confused**

Alison stared at Emily with a wide-eyed expression on her face. All traces of her warm happy buzz were gone. The room felt like it was spinning. The last thing she remembered was Emily picking her up outside the bar. The rest was a blur. She didn’t remember coming home. She didn’t remember anything.

“What the hell is this?” Emily held up the cell phone.

Alison was trying to read the look on her face. It wasn’t accusatory. She looked confused. And hurt.

“Um…a phone.” It came out bitchier than she intended for it to.

“Why do you have it?”

It felt like a fever dream. All she could do was look at Emily with a slack-jawed dumbfounded expression. She had no idea what was going on. She had no idea why Emily was so upset. It wasn’t registering. Her brain had totally shut down.

“That’s…” Alison rubbed her face, trying to wipe away the invisible pins and needles she felt in her cheeks. Something was wrong. She felt sick. “I don’t…I don’t remember putting that there.”

“I’m a fucking idiot.” Emily shook her head with a sardonic laugh.

Had it been Alison the whole time? Was it some ploy to manipulate her? Alison knew how protective Emily could be. Had she created a situation to her advantage…a situation in which she knew that Emily would protect her and stay close to her?

Alison had always been possessive. What lengths would the blonde go to in order to keep her close?

Emily didn’t want to believe it. It didn’t make any sense. Because the texts had started before the two of them had gotten together. Then again, a lot of the texts had been obscure and vague. And the very first threatening text she’d received had a photo of her house attached. Alison would have had the perfect vantage point to take that picture.

Then there was the incident with the fortune cookie. Had it been a coincidence that during her first week of school Alison had made a show of getting her and all of their friends fortune cookies after Emily had received that threatening fortune outside the gym?

Had it been a coincidence that they’d had a fight about boxing and then she was bullied into not doing it after having her drink spiked at the school gym?

Had Alison been controlling her this whole time?

Was she like Courtney?

Was Alison capable of that?

Surely not.

She looked at the blonde. Her bright blue eyes were glassy. She seemed to be looking through Emily. Emily couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but she knew there had to be more to the story. She knew what she felt when she was with Alison. A passion like that couldn’t be faked.

“Just…tell me there’s more to this than what it looks like,” Emily said calmly.

“I don’t know…” _I don’t know what’s happening…_ She tried to say it, but she felt a wave of nausea curdling in her stomach.

She had no idea why they were standing in her living room. Her feet felt like anchors weighing her down.

“Tell me it’s not yours.” _Please._

Alison stumbled over to her. She yanked the phone out of Emily’s hands. She plopped down on the piano bench and glanced at the phone. Then she started laughing hysterically, almost manically.

“This is dumb,” Alison stared at the screen, her eyes lingering a little too long.

She thought she was hallucinating. She still felt foggy because of the alcohol. She regretted every single drop of booze she’d ingested. She felt like she was going to puke. She suddenly felt very hot.

Her stomach lurched. She leaped off of the piano bench and raced towards the kitchen. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t make a mad dash for the bathroom. For some reason, the kitchen sink seemed like the appropriate place to throw up.

Emily rushed up behind her just in time for her to see Alison grip the edge of the sink and arch her neck towards the large stainless steel basin. She still had the phone gripped firmly in her right hand. Emily instinctively reached out to rub her back in between her shoulder blades.

Alison hurled and then gagged several times. She reached up and turned the water on and turned her head sideways to rinse her mouth out. She drank some of the cool tap water and then turned the faucet off. She stayed perched over the sink for a few minutes, thinking more was coming up. But nothing did.

“I think I’m allergic to alcohol.” Alison muttered, her voice sounding tinny from her head being so close to the sink. “I seem to throw up every time I drink it.”

She lifted her hand and nearly did a face-plant into the counter. Her forehead narrowly missed the edge. Emily caught her and steadied her.

“Easy.” Emily tried to hold her up to support her.

Alison turned around and stared at Emily. And she felt broken inside. She felt broken because Emily was so perfect and she wasn’t. She was trying so hard to be good enough for her. Emily was so put together. And Alison felt like she was falling apart. Why was it so hard for her to be a fucking _normal_ teenager?

She blinked and the kitchen started spinning out of control. She just wanted the wild ride she was on to stop.

Alison shivered, her emotions riding high. She had no clue what was going on. Emily saw the terrified expression on her face and she pulled her in for a hug.

“Stop it.” Alison cried. Her eyes were filled with tears.

Emily wasn’t used to seeing her cry. Alison DiLaurentis didn’t cry. Alison DiLaurentis snapped and spit venom and was a feisty little warrior.

“Stop.” She pushed Emily away. She sank down to the floor, her legs buckling underneath her. “I don’t deserve you. Everything I’ve said. Everything I’ve done. I don’t deserve you.”

She lowered her head and used her free hand to cover her face. She still had the phone in her other hand.

She saw a shadow moving over her and she realized that it was Emily kneeling in front of her.

“Alison, look at me.” Emily gently gripped her wrist and pulled it away from her face. “Just tell me what’s going on. Talk to me.”

“I don’t know. I feel sick.”

“Yeah, too much booze will do that to you,” Emily said sharply. “Have you eaten anything tonight?”

Alison blinked, but she didn’t answer. She couldn’t remember eating anything. Maybe some celery and a few fries? She couldn’t remember much of anything other than the drinks at the bar.

Emily hauled Alison off of the floor, much to Alison’s chagrin. She helped her into a chair at the kitchen table. She grabbed her a glass of water and put on a pot of coffee.

“Drink.” Emily pushed the water over to Alison.

Alison finally released her death grip on the phone and laid it gently against the table. She cupped the water glass with both hands. She sipped it.

Emily disappeared. Alison felt frozen in place. She was terrified that Emily had walked out. But she reemerged with a bottle of antacid and Alison’s phone a few minutes later.

She had a strange dejected look on her face that Alison didn’t understand. Why did she look so sad? Who had hurt her mermaid?

Emily stood by the kitchen counter staring at the phone. Neither one of them spoke. Alison didn’t know what to say. She felt like she was trapped in a nightmare. Her temples were throbbing. Her eyes felt like they were on fire. She closed her eyes and buried her face into her hands and groaned.

Emily glanced at her. All she could see was someone she loved in pain. Her instinct was to help her. She sighed and put Alison’s phone down on the counter. She grabbed a soft icepack from the freezer and walked up behind Alison.

“This should help with the headache.” Emily gently put her hand on top of Alison’s cupped fingers.

Alison lowered her hands and looked at the brunette. She nodded and took the icepack. Emily saw that the whites of her eyes were blood red. She was surprised she hadn’t ruptured a blood vessel from puking. She moved a few wisps of hair out of Alison’s face, letting her palm linger against her overheated cheek. Emily’s touch was so warm. And it felt so good.

Alison looked up at her, but Emily looked away. She walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. She grabbed a carton of eggs and a frying pan.

Alison zoned out for a few minutes, only snapping back into reality when she heard the shell cracking against the side of the frying pan.

“Are you…” Alison’s face twisted in confusion. “Are you making me breakfast?” She glanced outside. “Is it morning?”

Emily turned around, a sympathetic expression in her eyes.

“How much did you have to drink at the bar?”

“I lost count after the fifth shot.”

 _Oh, Ali..._ It was a wonder she was conscious at all.

Emily turned her attention back to the eggs. They sizzled in the pan. It didn’t take them long to cook. She grabbed a plate and scraped the eggs on to it and then poured a cup of coffee.

“What’s with eggs after alcohol?” It dawned on Alison that it wasn’t the first time that Emily had made her eggs after she’d been drinking.

Emily had made her breakfast in bed after Alison had stayed over at her house after drinking too much at the frat party.

“My friend Nick told me about it.” Emily sat down and handed Alison the plate and the cup of coffee. “When I was with Maya we did some pretty crazy things. I’ve had more than my fair share of bad nights with alcohol. Nick taught us all about the art of how to starve off a hangover.”

Alison stared at the eggs. Her stomach felt queasy.

“I think if I eat these I’m going to hurl again.”

“You need to get some nutrients in you.” Emily wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer. But Alison didn’t budge either. Emily gritted her teeth. “Ali, if you don’t eat them I am going to take you to the hospital and force you to get fluids pumped directly into your veins.”

She was concerned about alcohol poisoning and dehydration.

Alison pushed the eggs around the plate with her fork. After a few seconds she took a tiny bite. She grabbed the water to help wash it down. She repeated the process several more times until it got to a point where she just stopped thinking about feeling sick and polished the eggs off. She was surprised that it settled her stomach.

She put her fork down and looked up. She realized that Emily had been silently watching her the entire time.

They both looked down at the cell phone. Alison stared at it. Now that she was slowly starting to feel better she realized the gravity of the situation. She saw her phone in Emily’s hands.

“So…” Emily slid Alison’s phone over to her. “We have some things to talk about.”

Alison glanced at her phone. There was a picture of Emily’s house she’d never seen before on the screen. She’d certainly never taken it. Emily slid her finger across the screen and there was an image of the school gym being decorated for the Halloween dance. It was focused on the chainsaw that had nearly taken their heads off.

Alison cocked her head and frowned at the picture. She started to look up at Emily, but Emily moved to the next picture. It was a snapshot of Emily in the school gym. She was in the clothes she’d been wearing the day she’d been drugged.

The last photo Emily showed her was a picture from less than six hours ago. She was outside the gym on her bike. Alison didn’t know it, but it had been taken fifteen minutes before she’d been run off the road.

“What is this?” Alison questioned in confusion.

“You tell me.” Emily sounded defeated.

Alison could hear the pain she was trying to hold back, and it hurt her. It hurt her because Emily was hurt.

Alison finally pieced everything together. Someone was framing her to make it look like she’d been the person who was torturing Emily.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. Her eyes brightened in alarm. “Oh my God. I…” Alison shook her head in disbelief. “I’ve never seen these pictures before.”

“What about this?” Emily slid the burner phone towards her.

Before Emily could move her hand away, Alison reached out and put her palm on top of Emily’s fingers. She grabbed her hand tightly and peered at her. She needed Emily to look at her. She needed her to know the truth.

“It’s not me, Em.” She was wide awake now. “I swear. I would never do this to you.”

Emily saw the conflicted look on her face. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the booze or if it was something more.

“Then what’s with these photos?” Emily asked. She reached for the burner phone. “And how did this end up here?”

“I don’t know.” Alison let go of her hand. “I wasn’t sure what was happening after you pulled it out of the piano. The entire world felt like it was spinning. It still kind of does.”

“What did you mean when you said you don’t deserve me?” Emily asked. “You said you’ve done things…”

“Not _that_ kind of thing. I just mean I haven’t been the greatest girlfriend at times.” She curled her fingers against the table. She looked down, not knowing how she could look Emily in the eyes.

Emily reached across the table and laid her hand on top of Alison’s. She knew that Alison was struggling as much as she was, though their struggles were different. She knew that she’d spent years masking her pain by using anger as a front. Now that she didn’t have that mask anymore she was facing some pretty intimidating things. Terror wasn’t just madmen driving around in the fog and running people off the road. Sometimes terror was more subtle. Sometimes it was the darkest parts of personal internal struggles that manifested terror.

Hearing Alison admit that she thought that she wasn’t worthy of love and that she was unwanted broke Emily’s heart. She wanted the blonde to know she was safe with her…that she’d always have a place with her.

“It’s a learning curve,” Emily said softly. “I understand that. I’m not perfect either, Ali.”

Alison felt the touch of her fingertips and she glanced up at the brunette. Her bottom lip quivered. Emily was so incredibly patient.

“But you are.”

“You only think I am.” Emily shook her head. “Look, sometimes feelings get in the way of people seeing our flaws. We look and we only see the good, because that’s what our heart wants. But I’m not the perfect angel that you’ve put on a pedestal. I’ve lied. I’ve hurt people.” She reached down with her other hand and put it against her stomach. “The father of my child doesn’t even know she exists. You know how fucked up that is, right?”

“That’s different. You were put in an impossible situation. And you had to make a choice. That’s…” Alison shook her head. “I don’t fault you for that. No one in their right mind would fault you for that. You didn’t plan this. You didn’t…you’re not like me. I create these storms around me and then complain when it rains.”

She pulled her hand out from underneath Emily’s and wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek.

“I know I’m selfish and controlling. I don’t…” Alison fought back a wave of nausea. “I don’t know why, but sometimes the bitch inside just jumps out of me. I have this default setting of vicious and entitled. And it always ends up hurting you. And I hate it. I hate that I don’t know how to act like a normal person. And it pulls you into my chaos tornado of destruction. It’s so unfair to you. You have enough to deal with. You…you shouldn’t have to be here babysitting me…”

She reached for the coffee, forcing herself to take a sip of it to try and curb her upset stomach.

“I shouldn’t have gone to that bar tonight. I shouldn’t have put you in this position.” She looked at Emily, tears glistening in her eyes. She glanced at the phone. “I know what this looks like. I have done some really underhanded things to you, but I would _never_ threaten you or hurt you…” She scooted towards her, chair scuffing the ground. She reached out and put her hand on Emily’s stomach. “Or the baby. You have to know that.”

Emily slowly nodded. She knew that Alison was telling the truth, despite the phone being in her house. If this person was devious enough to slip drugs into her sports drink and try to run her off the road then they were probably sneaky enough to get into Alison’s house. Hacking into her phone was a different story. That was some next level deviancy.

Emily looked at Alison and felt a flood of relief coursing through her veins. But it was short-lived. Because even though Alison wasn’t involved, she still had a huge problem.

She thought about that car swerving into her path. What if Alison had been with her? What if she hadn’t been fast enough to avoid it? Or worse? What if something had happened to her out at that bar? What if someone had tried to kidnap her? What if she’d been hurt?

“You’re in danger because of me.” Emily looked down at her bruised knuckles. She covered them with her other hand so Alison couldn’t see the shallow cuts.

“Half the town would take a swipe at me if they were given the chance. I’ve pissed off a lot of people.”

“Yeah, but not this person. This person is after _me_. Specifically.” She licked her lips nervously. “Alison, someone came into your house and put this here.” She grabbed the burner phone. “You’re not safe here. Not by yourself.”

“So…what are you suggesting? That I never come home again?” Alison rubbed her temple.

“For starters you shouldn’t be here by yourself this weekend.”

“My parents will be home Monday. We could just lie low and have a Netflix and chill kind of weekend.” Alison suggested.

“I’ve got work. I’ve got to finalize the lease for my apartment. And I’ve got to pack.” She pursed her lips in thought. “I mean, you could come with me…”

“My head hurts.” Alison squeezed her eyes shut.

Emily realized that she was going to be dead to the world in the morning. There was no way she was going to be able to coherently go out in public. She might not even remember this conversation. Emily had experienced her fair share of blackouts.

“You could sleep it off with one of our friends.” Emily suggested.

“I don’t have any friends.” Alison rolled her eyes. “Besides, Caleb has got the security up and my door has a lock on it.”

“Which clearly did no good.” Emily pointed to the phone.

“Why are you making such a big thing out of this? We’ve been in way worse scenarios. Remember the giant chainsaw to the head? _Nowhere_ we go is safe.”

Emily wanted to tell her about the car. She wanted to tell her that someone had tried to run her down. But she didn’t want to get her fired up. Because Alison was unpredictable when she was pissed. Emily didn’t want to think about what she’d be like pissed _and_ drunk.

Emily was trying to think strategically. She wasn’t sure if Alison would be safer with or without her.

“We’ll stay at my place tonight…”

“No.” Alison vehemently disagreed. “You can’t take me to your house drunk again.”

Alison made a good point. Her parents were already judgmental about Alison. Emily didn’t want to get more shit about it. She considered the apartment, but she hadn’t signed the official papers and didn’t have the key yet.

“It’s just the most logical thing to do right now. I can’t take you anywhere on my bike. Not like this.” Emily tried to sway her.

“I think you’re forgetting about my car.”

“Sweetie, your car is halfway across town in front of a bar.” And parked terribly out of the lines, too. She’d been an emotional wreck when she’d pulled into that parking spot.

Alison groaned and lowered her head.

“I do _not_ want your mom and dad to think I’m some drunk hussy. Let’s stay in the treehouse.”

“And when this psychopath takes a chainsaw to the tree with us in it? Then what?” Emily asked.

She could just see the text composed now, **_“Rock-a-bye bitches in the treetops…”_**

“Emily, I’m tired. I don’t want to go anywhere.” Her ears were ringing. Her eyes felt like sandpaper. Her mouth was dry and had the weird sulfur aftertaste of eggs.

“Tough shit. I’m calling Hanna. We can hitch a ride with her to go get your car and then we can go to her place. At least for tonight. Until I can figure out what I need to do to keep this psycho away from you.”

“Please don’t bring Hanna into this.”

“This is not up for discussion, Alison.” Emily snapped. She wished Alison understood how much danger they were in. But how could she when Emily was holding back what had happened to her on her bike? “You can’t stay here. I’m not leaving you to choke on your own vomit. I’m going to tell my parents that I’m staying at Hanna’s. And you’re coming with me.”

Alison glared at her, but she didn’t argue. She didn’t have the brain capacity to argue. She just sipped on her coffee and tried to keep from puking again.

* * *

Hanna had been even less enthused about the idea of Alison staying over than Alison. But she went along with it. She knew that Emily was going through a rough time, and she cared about her friend. She asked her mom if Emily and Alison could stay over.

Emily had asked her parents about it and they said it was fine if she wanted to have a girl’s night with Hanna. They thought that Emily was reaching out to Hanna to talk to her about everything she was keeping buried inside. They didn’t realize it was because Emily was trying to keep herself, her baby, and Alison from being _actually_ buried.

Hanna’s mother was the most lenient parent in Rosewood. After Hanna’s dad had left she had overcompensated and let Hanna do whatever she wanted. They had open and honest conversations, and Hanna’s mother trusted her.

But she probably would have had a lot to say about the state Alison was in when she got there. Fortunately she was already in bed.

They had to haul Alison up the stairs because she was so out of it. Alison had barely made it on to the guest bed before she started snoring. She lazily fell against the mattress and plopped down, her legs dangling over the edge.

“She’s a complete mess. What happened?” Hanna questioned, her brow crinkled in concern.

“It’s complicated.”

Hanna muttered an inquisitive _“hmmm”_ under her breath and then looked at Emily’s bruised knuckles.

“And what happened to _you_?”

Emily frowned. Hanna noticed _everything._ It was annoying.

“Again…complicated.”

“I’ll go get the ibuprofen.” Hanna walked towards the door.

Emily sat down against the edge of the bed and moved Alison’s legs so that she was all the way on the mattress. It didn’t wake the blonde. She murmured Emily’s name.

Emily moved the sheets and the comforter out from underneath her. She pulled her shoes off and then gently pulled the covers up over her body.

Hanna silently walked back in with a mug of water and a bottle of painkillers. She put them down on the nightstand. Then she motioned for Emily to follow her out into the hallway. They walked out of the room, leaving the door open.

“Are you _sure_ she doesn’t have anything to do with the threats?” Hanna glanced at Alison.

“I believe her.” Emily nodded. “I shouldn’t have doubted her in the first place. I just didn’t know what to think when I found that phone.”

“How long do you think it’s been there?”

“The last text was the one I got at Thanksgiving, so probably around that time.”

“That’s so creepy. Makes you wonder if there are other things planted in her house. Wires. Bugs.” Hanna grimaced.

“I should have told Caleb to do a sweep when he was putting up the hidden cameras last week.” Emily shuddered at the thought of her stalker spying on her intimate moments with Alison. “You think he’d be willing to go by and do a sweep tonight? Make sure there isn’t anything else there?”

“Only if they get a priest to cleanse the house first.” Hanna flashed a cheeky grin.

“Not tonight, Han. It’s been a long day.” She didn’t have it in her to banter with the blonde.

“Sorry. I clam up when I’m nervous.” Hanna’s cheeks flushed as a sheepish smile crossed her face. “Being snarky is my go-to move.”

“Probably better than my go-to.” Emily looked at her bruised knuckles. Sarcasm was probably a better coping mechanism than punching things.

“Who did you hit?” Hanna asked curiously.

“It’s from boxing.”

“Bullshit.” Hanna lowered her head and glared at her. “Who did you hit?” She repeated.

“Stucco.”

“The foreign exchange student?” Hanna’s face scrunched in confusion.

“No, that’s Stavros.” Emily laughed. “I hit the stucco in my garage.” She brushed her fingertips over the abrasions on her hand. The smile on her face faded. “I’m so tired of this shit. It was bad enough when it was just some stranger looking in from the outside. But someone actually went into Alison’s house. _Months_ ago. Who knows how many times they’ve done that since then?”

It was invasive and violating and _so_ creepy.

“Hopefully not many. I mean, you and Alison spend most of your time there, and when you’re not there Jason is there. It would be really risky for someone to try and slip in. Chances are they’d get caught.”

Hanna’s response sparked an idea in Emily’s mind that she hadn’t considered before. Emily pinched her brows in thought. She clucked her tongue.

“What are you thinking?” Hanna asked.

“I’ve been racking my mind trying to figure out how someone could have broken in without the DiLaurentis’s noticing. Her mother apparently counts the silverware weekly to make sure it’s all still there. She’s a control freak. So not only would this person need to get into the house…they’d need to put the phone somewhere that Alison’s mother wouldn’t think to look.” Her face tensed. “This is a stupid thought…but…you don’t think…” She hesitated. “Jason has access to the house, which means so do his friends.”

“Statistically speaking, 65% of break-ins are committed by people who already have access to the house.”

“How do you even know that?” Emily asked in surprise.

“My mom is big on trivia night.” Hanna shrugged.

“Is that true?”

“Yeah. We’ve been doing it every Thursday since I was seven…”

“No. About the break-ins.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Hanna pulled up the stats on her phone. She showed it to Emily.

“Hmm…” Emily frowned. “Jason hangs out with some really shady people. Ian and Wilden know each other. And they both have enough reason to hate us. It’s not much of a lead, but it’s something, right?”

“Definitely.” Hanna nodded. “I say we start by looking for other hidden things. I’ll text Caleb and see if he’ll run by her place. Make sure nothing else pings his radar.”

“That would be great.” Emily rubbed a sore spot on her arm. “But tell him to be careful.”

“He will be. He’ll be fine. It’s not his first rodeo.”

“This is all so surreal. It still doesn’t feel real.” Emily looked in on Alison, making sure she was okay.

“It’s so weird that phone was there all this time and Caleb couldn’t get a signal on it. He says the fact that it was off shouldn’t have mattered. Then he talked about boot cycles and something about remote controls…”

“Accessing it remotely.” Emily corrected her.

“Yeah, probably. I don’t know. To be honest I stopped listening when he got technical. I love him, but he’s a real bore when he talks about hacking shit. But I do know that it didn’t just ping his radar out of the blue.”

“It’s like someone _wanted_ it to be found.” Emily glanced at the sleeping blonde. “It’s a little too neat…too convenient. I found pictures on her phone that were connected to some of the attacks that have happened. I feel like someone hacked it or something. I wonder if Caleb could trace where they came from.”

“Caleb could hack one of those old timey phone books. We got you, Em.”

“Thanks.”

They heard Alison mumble something that sounded suspiciously like, _“Em”_. They turned towards her. Emily sighed. She looked so small in the bed.

“She’s going to be okay, right?” Hanna’s earnest sincerity surprised Emily. She seemed like she genuinely cared.

“She’s tougher than she looks.”

“You’ve rubbed off on her.” Hanna laughed softly.

Emily watched Alison mumble in her sleep. She looked so angelic when she slept. It was a contrast to the devilish glint she had when she was awake. When she was asleep all that sharp attitude faded away, and she was just a sweet soft simple girl.

Emily felt a pang of guilt. How could she for one second consider that Alison would ever hurt her?

“I shouldn’t have jumped all over her. I should have known someone was playing me…”

“Give yourself a break. If you didn’t consider everyone in your life a suspect I’d be worried about your sanity.”

“ _I’m_ worried about my sanity.” Emily rubbed her right eyebrow. She had a lot she was juggling.

“All this stress can’t be good for you and the baby. Maybe…” Hanna drifted off. “Maybe it’s time you consider bringing in the big guns. I mean, I hate the police, but maybe they can do something…”

“What about Caleb’s involvement? His probation officer would have a field day with it.”

Hanna sighed.

“We’ve talked about it. And he agrees. If we don’t get answers soon things could take a really dangerous turn for you guys. He knows what it means for him, but he also understands that your lives are worth more than what _might_ happen if he gets caught breaking the terms of his probation. You could die. And then what?” She glanced at Emily’s stomach. “What about your daughter?”

“You might be right.” Emily kept flashing back to the car that had nearly flattened her. It could have killed her. It could have killed her baby. “But what proof do I have? Other than the texts?”

“Your hospital bill from the Halloween Dance.” Hanna replied without missing a beat.

Alison muttered something, but her eyes were still closed. She rolled over. The girl was like a pampered housecat. Beautiful and regal. And deadly. With sharp claws.

“I _told_ you if I invited it in it would never leave.” Hanna sighed and shook her head with a half-hearted laugh.

“She’s not so bad once you get past the fangs.” Emily smiled at her girlfriend.

“Yeah, well, I’m still dousing myself in holy water before bed tonight.” Hanna ran her fingers through her hair. She glanced at Alison. “She is growing on me, though.”

“You can look, but don’t touch,” Emily teased. “She’s all mine.”

“You can keep her.” Hanna chuckled. “You need anything before I turn in?”

“No. I’m good.” Emily said, though it wasn’t _entirely_ true. She felt like she’d been hit by a train. Her back was killing her. Her feet felt swollen. And it felt like the baby was sitting on her bladder.

“Well, you know where to find me.” Hanna put her hand on Emily’s shoulder before bidding her goodnight.

As she was walking away Emily quietly called after her,

“Hanna?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” Emily said softly.

“You can thank me by naming the kid after me.” Hanna gave her a cheeky smile.

Emily wasn’t sure how to reply, so she just laughed. Hanna disappeared into her room and Emily walked in to the guest bedroom to get settled in the bed with Alison.

She unlaced her shoes and pulled them off. She carefully slid in next to Alison. The second Alison felt her presence she rolled over and curled into Emily’s waiting arms. She curled her arms up in between their bodies and snuggled her face up underneath Emily’s chin.

Emily smiled and melted into their embrace. The night had really rattled her, but holding her girlfriend made her feel like everything was going to be okay. Having Alison in her arms felt like the most natural thing in the world. She kissed the top of Alison’s head and closed her eyes.

She was slowly drifting off to sleep when she heard her phone buzz from the dresser. The noise made her jump.

She felt sick to her stomach. Part of her wanted to ignore it. The other part of her was afraid of what would happen if she did ignore it.

She carefully pulled away from Alison, making sure not to wake her. She reached for her phone. She saw the unknown number. A photo popped up.

Her heart dropped. It was a picture of Alison sitting outside the bar. Her eyes were closed. She looked like she was unconscious. Emily almost dropped her phone in shock.

**_See how easy it is for me to get to her? Keep your mouth shut or I’ll silence her…permanently. She wouldn’t be the first girl I’ve taken away from you._ **

Her head was spinning. Alison’s disorientation and confusion suddenly made sense to her. The same thing had happened to her the night she’d gone with Maya to the frat party.

Someone had drugged her.

Her entire body tensed up. She felt like she was going to throw up. She felt a cramp in her stomach. It was sharp enough to take her breath away. Her hand shot down to her stomach. Any time she felt any discomfort it scared her. Fortunately, the pain passed and it melted into a bout of nausea. She wondered if the baby could sense her emotions. Maybe her daughter was upset, too.

A cold sweat washed over her. She sat up against the edge of the bed and stared at the phone. She felt a fiery wave of heat in her body. Her face flushed in anger. Her instincts kicked into overdrive.

Emily rarely responded to the threats. She had decided when she first started getting the messages that if she argued with them she was only giving them what they wanted. But the longer she stared at the image of her vulnerable girlfriend the angrier she got. She swiped her fingers furiously across the keyboard.

**_If you so much as touch one hair on her head I will fucking eviscerate you._ **

She wasn’t expecting to get an immediate response, but seconds later her phone vibrated in her hands.

**_Have it your way. You always did have to learn the hard way..._ **

It was eerie and ominous, and it made Emily furious. She growled under her breath as she angrily wrote back,

**_FUCK YOU._ **

She fought the urge to throw her phone across the room. Instead she gently put it down. Then she wrapped her arms around Alison again. She held the blonde a little tighter than she normally did. The fear of losing her had knocked the wind out of her. She couldn’t let anything happen to her feisty little fighter.

Emily kept a tight embrace on her all night long, using her body as a protective shield, as if telling the world and everything in it that the blonde was under _her_ protection. Anyone who wanted to hurt Alison would have to go through her first.

* * *

Emily’s body heat was scorching, so when Alison woke up the next morning she was burning up. But when she opened her eyes and saw Emily sleeping soundly she didn’t mind that they were both drenched in sweat.

Emily had pushed herself as close as she could get to Alison. Her belly was squished between them. Her arms were like a protective barrier around her. The covers were halfway off of them. Emily was in an oversized night shirt that fell down over her thighs. Her legs were bare. Alison had kicked her pants off in the middle of the night. They were twisted up in the covers, leaving her in her shirt and underwear. Their legs were intertwined. Emily was softly breathing against Alison’s face.

Alison’s entire body felt achy. Her mouth felt dry and sticky. Her eyes felt swollen. Her skull was throbbing. Her brain felt catatonic. She vaguely recalled Emily making her eat something and making her take something to dull the effects of the hangover. She couldn’t imagine how bad it would have been had her girl not stepped in.

She took a moment to appreciate the sleeping beauty cradling her. She loved being so close to her…so intimate. It made the hangover much more bearable.

Her eyes scanned the room. She had no idea where they were. It wasn’t her bedroom and it wasn’t Emily’s either. Her mind was a fog. Her memories were jumbled and hazy. She remembered line dancing at the bar. She remembered Emily picking her up. She remembered asking Emily to stay with her. She remembered kissing and cuddling, and then flashes of puking and sitting and talking to Emily at her kitchen table. She was having a hard time discerning what had really happened and what she’d imagined.

She looked at her girlfriend and sighed. Despite their rough evening, Emily was _still_ by her side. It felt right. She snuggled against her and bathed in her body heat.

Alison’s arms were snug against Emily’s chest. Her stomach was pressed firmly against Emily’s. She scooted back an inch and slid her palm down between them. She slipped her hand underneath Emily’s shirt, placing it flat against her belly. She hadn’t felt the baby kick yet, but sometimes she felt the slightest fluttering sensations, like a feather tickling her hand. She could feel something that felt like gurgles, but no kicking. The movement was almost like a wave, like the baby was rolling over.

“Good morning, sweet girl,” she whispered.

She heard Emily sigh in content. When she looked up at her she saw her smiling in her sleep. Emily pulled Alison close again. Alison gently moved her hand up, trying to pry it loose so she could brush her fingers against Emily’s cheek. When she moved Emily unconsciously wrapped her arms around her even tighter. Emily’s eyes fluttered open and she yawned.

The flood of light coming in through the window was hitting Emily just right. Her eyes had traces of smooth golden flecks flickering in the sunlight. Emily moved her shoulders and stretched her arms out beside Alison.

“Morning.” Emily touched Alison’s face.

“Morning.” Alison hummed happily, despite the throbbing pain in her head. She let her palm fall lazily against the side of Emily’s neck. “Where are we?”

“You don’t remember?” Emily asked. “We ran off and eloped, hopped a plane, and now we’re honeymooning in Paris.”

Alison furrowed her brows, but she had a smile on her face.

“I don’t know whether to be mad at you for getting my hopes up or laugh at you for being ridiculous.” She pushed her lips out and laughed.

“Might not be such a ridiculous idea. Maybe we could just disappear. Give my stalker a chance to find someone else to harass.”

“Did something happen?” Alison’s face softened. Emily looked away. Alison didn’t like it. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Do you remember anything at all about last night?” Emily questioned.

Alison rubbed her eyes and shook her head.

“Was I an idiot?”

“No.” Emily felt a little deflated about the fact that Alison didn’t remember their conversation about being a family. Even so, she knew the sentiment was real. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I think…” Alison closed her eyes in concentration. “I remember kissing you.” She opened her eyes. “It’s all a blur, but…” She remembered flashes of them getting hot and heavy. She remembered pushing Emily for more. And neither one of them were wearing pants. “Oh my god, did we have sex?”

“No.” Emily shook her head. “No, I never would have done that with you being as out of it as you were.”

“Pity.” Alison frowned. “For future reference, I _always_ give you my consent to do whatever you want with me.” She leaned forward and pecked Emily’s lips.

Emily could feel how chapped her lips were. She could taste the stale smell of alcohol. Alison saw her flinch, but Emily tried to hide it.

“Oh, I probably should brush my teeth…” Alison pulled away sheepishly.

“In a minute.” Emily sat up. She grabbed some water that was next to the bed and handed it to Alison. Alison sat up and took a sip. “First I want to try and piece together what happened last night.”

Maybe if she could figure out a timeline they could retrace Alison’s steps and see if anyone knew anything about who could have taken the picture of her at the bar.

“I hate to burst your bubble, but I think my brain cells are still swimming in vodka. It’s a complete blur for me.”

“Let’s just start from scratch. What happened at the bar? Did you run into anyone shady?”

“No. Why?”

Emily sighed. She hesitated. She looked at her phone.

“I don’t think you were just riding high on alcohol.” Emily ran her fingers through Alison’s hair. “I think you were drugged.”

“What?” Alison pinched her brow together in disbelief.

Emily pulled up the message and showed it to Alison. Alison nearly leaped out of the bed. She moved so quickly that her stomach curled in on itself. She felt queasy. Looking at the threat coupled with the hangover was giving her a painful visceral reaction. Her face tightened in anger. Her eyes flashed in a rage.

“Oh, _hell no_.” She stared at the message. She scrolled down and saw Emily’s threatening response. Her eyes widened. “Damn, Em…”

She felt a heat pooling in her belly at the thought of Emily going feral on this person. She was incredibly hot when she was in fight-mode. But then she thought about the danger she could potentially put herself in by starting a war with them. And her arousal turned into rage. Because no one was going to hurt her girl while she was around. She would tear them to pieces. The harder this person tried to push them apart, the more they fought to stay together.

“You really think antagonizing this psycho is a good idea?” Alison asked.

“I’m not going to stand by and let them hurt you.” Emily gently took the phone from her.

“Now you know how I feel.” Alison muttered.

Emily felt guilty about the fact that she’d dragged Alison into her drama. There had been so many times she wondered if she was doing the wrong thing by staying with her. The last thing she wanted was for Alison to get hurt because of her. But she also knew that walking away was not an option.

“I’m sorry you’re wrapped up in this.” Emily sighed.

“It’s not your fault.” Alison put her hand against Emily’s arm. “It was reckless for me to go out there on my own.”

“It’s not just last night. It’s every day since I’ve moved here and every day going forward. I can’t…” Her face crinkled. Alison could see the little worry lines in her forehead. “I don’t know how to protect you from this. I just…I wish I knew who was doing it.” She glanced at the picture of Alison. It sent chills down her spine. That someone had been _that_ close to Alison. Something much worse could have happened. She looked at the blonde. “You really don’t remember anything?”

Alison’s face creased in thought. Everything was hazy.

“I remember talking to some guy at the bar. He said his name was…Cory…or Cody…or…” She struggled to remember. “I don’t know. But I know he said something about Buffalo.”

“Anything else?” Emily asked. She carefully looked Alison over for bruises and other injuries. If she found even one blemish or one hair out of place she was going to steal one of her dad’s guns and go rogue. “Did you ever leave the bar? He didn’t…you guys didn’t go anywhere, did you?”

“I would never cheat on you, Em.” Alison frowned.

“I know. But you were under the influence. I just want to make sure nothing happened…that he didn’t hurt you or anything. You…you don’t have any injuries or anything, right? You feel okay?”

“I feel fine. Other than a headache. I wasn’t like…assaulted or anything. The guy seemed harmless.”

“I just wanted to be sure.” As it was, someone had manipulated her and used her.

Alison noticed the tense expression on Emily’s face. She could tell she was pissed. She could see the fire in her eyes.

“I’m fine. I promise.” She gently stroked her arm, trying to calm her down. “He was just some guy. He looked like a typical dude-bro, but he ended up being really nice. He wasn’t creepy like the regular bar-goers. We just talked. I thought…” She sighed. “I was afraid you were going to break up with me and I just needed to talk to someone who didn’t know either of us. I just wanted someone to listen to me talk about all the reasons that you mean the world to me.”

“You went to a bar to gush about our relationship?” Emily’s lips twitched, a small smile forming on her face.

“I gush about you everywhere I go. Why is this a surprise to you?” Alison asked with a smirk.

She didn’t remember much, but she did remember fantasizing about Emily’s breasts at some point during the dinner.

“I’m trying to remember if anyone was close enough to listen to us talking…or close enough to get to our drinks. It’s all just…black. I just remember bits and pieces. I remember being worried about you and looking at my phone a lot. And I ran into this crying girl in the bathroom. Then after that things are a little fuzzy.”

She dug deep, trying to pull open doors that were closed. Something clicked. She remembered a few fleeting moments of panic on the dance floor.

“Oh! I thought I saw Wilden at one point.” Her face lit up. Emily raised her brows in alarm. “But he can’t leave town. I knew I had to be hallucinating. That should have tipped me off that I was high.”

“Are you _sure_ it was a hallucination?”

“I mean…it had to be, right?” Alison asked. “Can’t Caleb check his little GPS bug?”

“We’ll have to ask.” Emily nodded. “Where did you see him?”

“I think…” She just remembered seeing a flash of his face. “Oh, okay. I remember the guy asking me to dance. It was when we were out on the dance floor.”

Emily drew back uncomfortably and looked at Alison with a frown. She didn’t say anything, but Alison could tell that it upset her.

“Not like _dancing_ dancing.” Alison quickly added. “There was some cowpoke music playing. He showed me how to line dance. I don’t even remember when the music started. We talked about hot wings and…” She glanced at Emily, “…you. I told him all about you.”

“Anything else?”

Alison stared down at the comforter. She tried to remember something important. Something pertinent. She tried to remember exactly what he looked like…what he sounded like, but all she could picture was a shadow of a person. She remembered the stupidest little details.

“He had red paint on his shoes.” Alison nervously rubbed her fingers against the bed covers. “And he dipped his fries in barbecue sauce.” She made a face. “Who does that?”

Emily licked her lips. She felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach.

“People in San Antonio.”

Including her ex-boyfriend. She felt a lump in her throat. She didn’t want to consider the option that it was Isaac. She couldn’t contend with the fact that he might be behind _everything_. But she had to know for sure.

She lifted her trembling hands and started scrolling through her phone. She didn’t have many pictures of her life back in Texas. She’d gone through and cleaned everything out when she moved. She thought it would help her move on. But she still had a picture of Isaac sitting at a picnic table their last day of junior year.

He was looking directly at the camera with a huge goofy grin on his face. Emily had caught the candid image after she’d said something that had made him laugh. Sometimes the picture made her feel uncomfortable. Because it felt like a lie. She could see the look of adoration he had in his eyes. And she had never felt the same.

“Was it him?” Emily held the phone up for Alison to see, her hands shaking.

Alison glanced at the photo. She’d never seen a picture of Isaac before, but she could tell that it was him just from the way Emily had described him. She found herself curiously drawn to him, but not because of his looks. His smile radiated an energy that was infectious. It was no wonder that Emily felt safe with him. He wasn’t a bad looking guy. He was actually really handsome. She couldn’t help but wonder what features the baby would get from him. Between Emily and Isaac, Alison knew that Emily’s daughter was going to be gorgeous.

“It wasn’t him.” Alison shook her head. Emily felt a flood of relief as she lowered the phone. “I might not remember much, but I remember enough to know that it was a basic white guy.”

Emily huffed out a surprised laugh. It wasn’t funny, but the annoyed look on Alison’s face when she said the term _basic white guy_ made the situation a little laughable.

“Ah, too bad we can’t set a trap for that.”

“I bet we can.” Alison grinned. She was proud that she’d made Emily smile. “We could offer a free round of golf and tickets to Bonaroo.”

Emily laughed so hard that she couldn’t breathe.

“If only it was that easy.” Emily sighed. “Whoever this is clearly isn’t basic in any way. I mean…rigging equipment and slipping around in the shadows…” She shuddered when she thought about someone being in Alison’s house. “That phone being traced back to your house _while_ we were there. The timing was almost too perfect.”

“Oh my God. The phone.” Alison gasped. She groaned and buried her face in her hands. “God, I thought all of that was a nightmare. That really happened?”

“That’s how we ended up here.” Emily nodded.

They heard a loud rapping at the door. The sound did not help Alison’s hangover.

“Oh. Right. _Here_.” Alison looked around. She was in Hanna’s house. She was in hell. Pure hell.

Emily pulled the comforter up over them.

“You two decent?” Hanna questioned from outside the door.

“Can you not see the _‘do not disturb’_ sign on the door?” Emily smarted back.

“Cover your unmentionables. I’m coming in.” The door flung open and Hanna waved one arm in the air dramatically while keeping her other hand over her eyes. She had on flowery pajamas and her hair was a cute kind of messy. “You two better not be doing it.”

“Oh, yes. Emily, don’t stop.” Alison deadpanned.

Hanna uncovered her eyes and glared at them. She rolled her eyes.

“I sincerely hope you didn’t defile my Nana’s old bed.”

“That’s why the pillows smell like mothballs.” Alison turned her nose up.

“Thank you, Hanna…for letting us stay the night here.” Emily elbowed Alison.

“Right.” Alison nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Have you heard anything from Caleb?” Emily asked.

“He’s in the kitchen. That’s why I came to get you two. Thought it might be a good idea to go over everything we have so far. So put on some pants and then meet me downstairs. He brought coffee and breakfast.”

That perked Alison up. She could go for some decent coffee.

Hanna rubbed her sleepy eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She yawned and then turned to walk away. She dragged her slippers across the carpet as she disappeared. The noise sounded ten times louder to Alison because of her headache. Emily saw her flinch.

“How’s your head?” Emily asked.

“Still attached.”

“I made you take ibuprofen last night. I was hoping it might help.” Emily leaned over the side of the bed. She grabbed a small bag she’d packed. She pulled out a mini bottle of Gatorade and a bottle of pain killers. She handed the bottle of light purple colored liquid to Alison. “Here, hydrate. This might help dull it down to an ache.”

“I can think of a more natural pain reliever.” Alison smiled and put her hand against Emily’s bare thigh.

Emily smiled, her lip twitching. She felt Alison’s touch in every nerve ending of her body. She felt an inclination to rip her clothes off and taste every inch of her. Alison didn’t help matters when she slipped her hand down against the front of her pelvis, grinning as she saw Emily clench her jaw to keep her hormones in check. Alison felt her body twitching, pulsing in desire. Emily leaned forward to kiss her and then gently pulled back, shaking her head.

“Mmm. Not on Hanna’s Nana’s bed.” As soon as Emily said it they both started laughing.

“It rhymes.” Alison smiled. She sighed and then slid her hand up until her palm was resting on Emily’s waist. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“How you make me feel like life is normal…like everything will be okay.”

Emily tried not to flinch. She didn’t want Alison to see how worried she was. She wanted to make her feel safe. They shared a warm look.

Emily cupped her cheek. Out of the corner of her eye Alison saw the discoloration on Emily’s knuckles. She grabbed her hand and pulled it into her line of sight. She frowned at the injuries.

“Oh, sweetie…what happened?” Alison delicately took Emily’s hand in hers and observed the cuts and bruises on her knuckles from where she’d punched the wall. She kissed the abrasions.

“It’s from boxing.” Emily lied.

She wasn’t sure why she lied. It was just the first thing that came out. Alison was already freaked out enough about being used as a human puppet at the bar. Emily didn’t want to give her another reason to be concerned.

Emily gently pried her hand away and opened the bottle of pain relievers. She poured two pills into her palm and then handed them to Alison.

“This should help.” She put her hand on top of Alison’s, cupping their palms together briefly.

Alison nodded and opened the bottle of Gatorade. She knocked back the pills and gulped down about half of the drink.

Emily slipped out of bed. Alison followed her lead. The nightshirt flowed over her belly, but Alison could see the faintest hint of it popping out. Alison sauntered over to her. She touched her arm and then lowered her gaze to her stomach. She put her other palm against Emily’s baby bump.

“I never asked how you’re doing.” She slid her hand down Emily’s arm and gripped her fingers. “Stress isn’t good for you. I don’t want it coming back on you…or her.”

Emily mashed her lips together and smiled warmly at her. She leaned in to peck Alison’s mouth.

“We’re fine, Ali,” she said as she gripped the blonde’s hand. “I come from a tough breed. Army raises them strong.”

“Strong. But not invincible.” Alison peered at her. “Don’t forget that. I know I’m not the best example of being careful, but…I want you to be careful.”

Emily had a sudden flash to the blinding headlights shining in her eyes. She curled her fingers into her palm and forced out a smile.

“I always am.” She reached for her bag.

She turned away from Alison to hide the fear in her eyes. This person knew exactly how to hit her where it hurt. The torture was starting to get to her, but she didn’t want Alison to see that. Alison watched curiously as Emily changed out of her pajamas. She could tell that something was off, but she couldn’t tell what.

Emily handed Alison the change of clothes she’d brought for her and a little toiletry bag. She sauntered out of the room to go brush her teeth. Her stride seemed different. Alison didn’t like it. It’s like she was holding something inside, and she was afraid it was going to cause her to implode.

* * *

Hanna and Caleb were sitting at the kitchen table chatting. Hanna was scooched up next to him sipping on coffee from a to-go cup. Caleb had his laptop out and was splitting his time between talking with Hanna and glancing at the screen. There were a few bags of food from _The Brew_ and two coffees sitting in the center of the table.

“Decaf is in the cup with the green sleeve.” Caleb pointed.

“You’re a lifesaver.” Emily smiled. She reached for her coffee. She grabbed Alison’s cup and handed it to her.

Alison stared at the cup. She kept flashing back to Emily’s speech about not being rude to the people who prepared her food and drinks. She glanced at Caleb as she casually took a sip.

“Skinny vanilla latte.” Alison smacked her lips together.

“With a dash of cinnamon.”

“You know my order.” Alison was surprised.

“It’s my job.” Caleb shrugged. He glanced at his laptop. “So, Hanna told me you guys had a hell of a night.”

 _More than you know_. Emily thought.

They both sat down. Emily pulled her phone out and glanced at the text from the unknown number. She felt sick every time she looked at it.

“I’ve got something new for you.” Emily slid her phone over to Caleb. Hanna and Caleb looked at her in curiosity. “I think Alison was drugged last night.”

“What?” Caleb gawked.

“Are you serious?” Hanna nearly dropped her scone.

Caleb reached for her phone. He furrowed his brow, his entire face crinkling as he stared at the text. Hanna peered over his shoulder.

“Who _is_ this freak?” Hanna made a face.

Alison was surprised that they cared so much, especially given things were tepid between her and Hanna. And Caleb had never liked her. Then again, drugging someone was over the line. It would disgust just about anyone with a heart.

“Should we go to the hospital and have them do a blood test or something?” Hanna suggested.

“Hard pass.” Alison shook her head. “They’d have to call my parents. Plus, if we do that we get people we don’t know involved. And who knows what this sicko will do if they think we’re talking?”

“Do you have your phone?” Caleb looked at Alison. Alison reached into her back pocket and pulled her phone out. She handed it to Caleb. “Emily, you said you found suspicious pictures on it last night?”

“Yeah. It didn’t dawn on me that someone could have planted them until I got the message from the cyberbitch.” Emily paused and thought about the text she’d gotten after she’d discovered the burner phone.

**_“You didn’t think I was in this alone, did you?”_ **

“Or...cyberbitches...” Emily trailed off.

“God, you think there is a gaggle of them?” Alison groaned. “Like a group of people working together?”

“I wouldn’t count anything out. I mean, whoever it was recruited Cindy and Mindy.” Emily pointed out.

“Speaking of, I think it’s time for me to pay them a little visit. See if I can’t get them to talk more.” Alison frowned.

“I think maybe you should just take it easy today.” Emily slid her hand on top of Alison’s, linking their fingers together.

“Yeah, you look like the walking dead.” Hanna agreed. Emily shot her a warning look. “What? You said she was drugged.”

“She was. So be nice.” Emily frowned.

Hanna shot them an apologetic look. Alison brushed it off. She knew Hanna didn’t have a filter. It didn’t bother her.

“Which pictures are the ones that were planted?” Caleb asked.

Emily showed him the images. He glanced at them and uttered out a _“hmm”_ in thought. He talked about pulling the metadata from them. Everyone at the table just nodded, because they had no idea what he was talking about.

“It’s possible that someone was able to upload the pictures with a portable device. They also could have put a code into the phone that pinged the burner.” Caleb reached for a cord and plugged the phone into his laptop.

“Whoever did it must have known I was going to get her. They wanted me with her when that phone went off,” Emily said.

“How could anyone possibly predict how that was going to happen?” Alison asked.

“Because they knew I would come the second you called…and that I wouldn’t leave you by yourself when you were that out of it.”

“Always and forever my knight in shining armor.” Alison hummed happily.

“More like a hormonal bitch on a bike on the warpath.” Emily corrected her.

“Even better.” Alison smiled. She loved her motorcycle mama. “I’ll ride with you any day.”

“Gag.” Hanna rolled her eyes. “Can you two _not_ act like a married couple for like two seconds?”

“You really want to go there? Didn’t you two get caught going at it in the band room last week?” Emily lifted her brows inquisitively.

“She’s got us there.” Caleb leaned over his laptop.

“You’re supposed to be on _my_ side.” Hanna smacked the back of his head.

He looked up at her and shot her an annoyed sideways glance, but there was a slight smile on his face. It was a look that declared that he knew she was perfectly annoying, but that he found her too cute to be mad about it.

“I bring you breakfast and this is what I get?” He teased.

“You knew what you were getting in to.” Hanna reached for her coffee.

“Ah, young love,” Emily said facetiously.

Caleb’s computer made a loud beeping noise. Alison’s phone flashed through a series of screens on the table, where it was lying face up.

“Whoa.” Caleb’s eyes were drawn to his screen. “Holy shit.”

“Did you find my naked selfies?” Alison asked sarcastically.

“You have nudes and you haven’t sent them to me?” Emily faced her girlfriend.

“I’ve never seen anything like this.” Caleb cocked his head.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Alison lifted her chin and smirked. She looked over at Emily, who had a look of intrigue on her face.

“You don’t seriously have naked pics of yourself on your phone, right?” Her tone was an equal mix of curiosity and concern. She was worried about what someone might have seen if they had access to Alison’s phone last night.

There was a strange inflection in her voice. Alison saw a jealous glint in her eyes, and it made her crave more. Emily was always so cool and collected. It was nice to see her with a little fire. It was nice to feel wanted.

“I was saving them for your birthday.” Alison egged her on.

Hanna snorted out a laugh.

“Ali…” Emily grumbled. Alison smiled. She found her crankiness cute.

“I sincerely hope you’re joking. Last thing I need on my record right now is child porn charges.” Caleb glanced at the blonde.

“We’re both underage.” Alison shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “Let’s deal with Newd-gate later. Right now we have a bigger problem.”

He spun his computer around so they could see what was happening. There was a blown up image of the picture from the prom decorating committee, but on the computer it looked distorted and the screen had several numbers and letters scrolling across it.

“What is that?” Emily leaned over the table to get a closer look.

“ _That_ is someone going to great lengths to keep from being tracked.”

Alison’s phone chimed. The screen went black and a large red exclamation point appeared on her home screen. Seconds later her image gallery popped up and randomly started scrolling through her photos. The newest ones started to disappear.

“What the hell?” Caleb spun the computer around and started tapping the keyboard furiously.

“What happened? Where did they go?” Alison asked in alarm.

“I don’t know. They’re just gone.” Caleb frowned at his computer screen.

“ _What_? Undo it!” Alison was on the verge of shrieking. “Undo it! Control Z!”

“It’s not that simple.” Caleb leaned over the computer.

They could see the wheels turning in his head as he went to work. He looked intensely at his screen.

“God, my whole life is on that phone. You better be able to get it back.”

Emily nudged Alison with her knee. She glared at her, trying to get her to rein her temper in. Alison’s face softened when she looked at Emily.

She watched Caleb anxiously. After a few minutes he stopped typing. He hit a key on his keyboard, emphatically, loudly.

Alison’s phone blinked back to life.

“And there it is.” Caleb unplugged the phone from the computer. He pulled the home screen up and scrolled through a few things. “I’ve got everything restored.” He handed her phone back to her. “With the exception of the photos that showed up last night. The files were encrypted with some mess of code I’ve never seen before. It must have been a backdoor hack that secured the files. I’m not sure if any of the other files were corrupted or if there was some kind of tracking mechanism embedded in the photos that were planted.”

“Can you repeat that in English for me?” Alison asked.

“Yeah. I suggest you get a new phone. I can put some security features on it for you.”

“Did you get _anything_ from the photos?” Emily asked hopefully.

“I pulled what I could from the images, but it wasn’t much. I can try and track the source, but this is someone who knows what they’re doing. Who knows what they had access to before I shut it down? This is some next level shit.” Caleb’s face was radiating concern. His worried expression made him look years older. His soft brown eyes had a lot of soul in them. “Look, whoever this is…they’re dangerous.”

“I think that’s already been established.” Emily nodded.

She thought about the car trying to hit her. She sighed and ran her fingers over her bloodied knuckles. She glanced at Alison and then at her friends. It was bad enough that Alison was in danger. She hated that Hanna and Caleb might be in danger, too. She really wanted to go to the police, but she was afraid something would happen to Alison if she brought the cops into it.

“This is getting really hairy. I don’t know if I want to pull you guys in any deeper,” Emily said warily.

“We are _not_ leaving you in a lurch.” Hanna was horrified at the suggestion.

“Hanna, Caleb said it himself. He has a record. If he gets caught doing this he could get in some serious trouble. I wouldn’t put it past whoever this is to knock you two out to get to me.” Emily strummed her fingers through her hair nervously. It was a habit she’d gotten from her mother.

“Which is exactly why we’re not letting you two deal with this by yourselves. You _need_ us.” Hanna argued. She glanced at her boyfriend. “Well, you need _him_ specifically, for the tech stuff. But I can kick ass if need be. I can start concealing weapons in my heels.”

“Hanna is right.” Caleb closed his laptop.

“About knife shoes?” Alison asked in confusion. That actually sounded insanely badass. She wasn’t going to argue with that.

“You can’t fight this alone.” He ran his fingers against the top of his computer. “I won’t _let_ you fight it alone. I don’t know who this is, but I know the difference between shady and dangerous. And I’m not leaving you two in danger. This isn’t something that is going to just go away. And I can’t in good conscience walk away from this. Not knowing what I know.”

Emily felt Alison’s hand on top of hers. She looked over at the blonde and saw a soft expression on her face. She saw something in her eyes that she hadn’t seen before.

Fear.

It immobilized her. It immobilized her because she had failed to protect her last night. And it could have ended much worse. It was clear that she was shaken up about being drugged. Emily hated that she couldn’t shield her from what was going on.

“There is strength in numbers.” Alison replied quietly.

She looked so weary. So tired. Emily knew how hard it was for Alison to admit that they needed Hanna and Caleb.

“Yeah.” Emily rubbed the back of her head. She hated putting her friends in danger, but she knew they were right. “You’re right. I’m just thinking worst case scenario. It’s hard to keep my head on straight.”

“Which is exactly what we’re here for.” Hanna assured her.

Emily shot her an appreciative smile.

“Where are we on Noel, the twins, and Wilden?” Emily questioned.

“Noel has spent most of his time getting ready for the new lacrosse season, so he is usually at the gym or with his buddies. Cindy and Mindy are a little more active than they were before the break. They’re getting out around town a little more, but it’s mostly restaurants and boutiques. Pretty sure that’s normal for teenage girls?” Caleb glanced at Hanna, deferring the question to her since teenage girls were not his area of expertise.

“They’re not girls. They’re demons.” Hanna scowled angrily.

“What about Wilden?” Emily asked. “Alison thinks she might have seen him last night.”

“I should have busted a beer bottle over his head and then held the shards up against his jugular to make him talk.” Alison frowned.

“That’s an interesting picture.” Hanna seemed amused.

“Which bar was this?” Caleb asked.

“The townie bar outside of Rosewood.”

“It would have been against his probation if he’d gone there. He has a certain radius he has to stay within, not to mention he’s not supposed to be out in large groups. I can’t imagine he’d be able to actually get away with that. But he is sleazy enough to do it,” Caleb said. “The trouble is, the GPS signal in his phone went dead about a week ago. Same with his car. I don’t know if he got wise to the idea that he was being followed or what. He doesn’t seem like he’d be smart enough to figure it out on his own.”

“I’ve met rocks smarter than that perverted monkeyboy.” Hanna scoffed.

“The last place I traced his car to was an apartment near Rosewood’s border. Could be something worth checking out,” Caleb suggested. “And we can always check out the bar. See if there are cams that might have caught people coming and going.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Her phone beeped. Alison flinched, but Emily didn’t seem worried. “It’s just my alarm.” She pulled her phone out and mashed her finger against the alarm screen. “I’m supposed to be at work in half an hour.”

“I’ve got to run, too. I’ve got to get back to _The Brew._ I’m covering for Mike.”

“Take my car. It’s freezing out there.” Hanna stood next to him.

“It’s only a couple of miles. I can hoof it on foot.” Caleb pushed his laptop into a bag and stood up. He slung the bag over his shoulder.

“Fresh air actually sounds pretty good to me.” Emily looked outside. “My house is on the way. I can grab my bike and drop you off on my way to the gym if you want.”

“Not in these temperatures.” Alison interjected with a hard look on her face.

Hanna and Alison glanced at one another. For the first time in perhaps forever they were on the same page.

“Yeah, sorry Em, I don’t ride bitch.” Caleb shook his head.

“Damn right you don’t. That spot is reserved for me.” Alison yawned and took a sip of her coffee.

“Not going to argue with that,” Hanna muttered with a laugh.

Alison gave her a smarmy look.

“As much as I love taking you out on my bike with me I think it’s best if you just rest today.” Emily leaned over and pecked Alison’s lips before climbing to her feet. “You need to pace yourself after last night.” She glanced at Hanna. “And with everything going on I think it might be a good idea if you two stayed together today.”

Alison uttered, _“What?”_ at the exact same moment that Hanna grumbled, _“You’re joking, right?”_

“Neither one of you should be alone.”

Alison peered at Hanna and then at Emily. She didn’t say anything, but her expression clearly screamed, _“I’d rather take my chances with the psycho-stalker.”_

“No arguments.” Emily put her foot down. “You two work it out.”

Alison clamped her mouth shut. She looked like a pouting child.

“Take my damn car so I don’t have to worry about you catching pneumonia.” Hanna shoved her keys at Caleb.

Emily grabbed her things and looked at Caleb.

“Let’s ride.” Emily nodded at him.

“You’re the boss.” Caleb shrugged, reaching for Hanna’s car keys.

Emily turned around. She could feel Alison boring a hole through the back of her head. Alison didn’t like being told what to do. And she liked being told what to do in front of other people even less.

Emily didn’t have to look back to know that Alison and Hanna were both pissed.

When they got out to the car Caleb hopped in the driver’s seat. Emily grabbed her phone to send Toby a text.

She had two missed calls and a voicemail from her mom. Emily made a mental note to call her back later. Her parents knew she was at Hanna’s. Her mom was probably just calling to check in.

She pulled up Toby’s name and shot him a text,

**_Something came up. Any way you can do without me this morning?_ **

He sent a cheeky response,

**_How will we ever manage without you to keep us in line?_ **

**_I mean, I could swing by and play you one-on-one for it, but then you’d have to stew in your humiliating loss when I beat you._ **

**_Nah, I know when I’m licked. You win. We’ll be fine. I’m sure Jake will cover for you if he needs to._ **

**_I owe you a dinner at a fancy restaurant. You can get all the chicken nuggets you want._ **

**_I’m holding you to that. Hope everything is ok._ **

**_Rough night. Nothing a little time can’t fix._ **

**_Let me know if you need anything._ **

Caleb started the car, and without even looking over he knew exactly what was running through her mind.

“You’re not going to the gym, are you?” Caleb asked.

“My girlfriend was roofied last night. What do you think?” Emily looked up from her phone.

“I think we’re going to the bar.” He turned around and put his hand on the back of the passenger’s seat as he backed out of the driveway

“You think right.” Emily nodded. “Wait, did you say _we_? Don’t you have work?”

“So I’ll be late. Sabrina can handle it.” Caleb pulled the car into the road. “Alison is going to kill you if she finds out you did this without her.”

“And Hanna will kill you.”

“So we’re agreed then.”

“We can never tell them.” Emily knew what he was saying without having to ask.

As they drove off, their girlfriends were sitting inside Hanna’s kitchen awkwardly looking at one another.

Alison was making her own plans, despite Emily’s instructions to take it easy. She had been scrolling through her phone, doing everything she could to avoid any kind of eye contact with Hanna as they both nibbled on their breakfast.

She’d been going through her photos and found an old one of her with Cindy and Mindy and the rest of the “cool crew”. Seeing them drew a ball of anger to the surface. They had betrayed her in the worst way. And Emily had gotten hurt at the Halloween dance because of it. She hadn’t seen much of them around since then, but she knew if they were lurking in the shadows they were up to no good.

She stalked their Instagram and found a selfie that Cindy had taken at a bakery down the street. It had only been a few minutes since she’d posted. It gave Alison an idea, but she couldn’t exactly sneak away from the babysitter that Emily had assigned her. If she ditched Hanna, the blonde would absolutely tattle on her.

She looked up to find Hanna doing the same thing she was doing...staring at her screen. Hanna heard her shuffle her feet and clear her throat and she lowered her phone.

“So…” Alison tapped her fingers against the table. She looked around the kitchen awkwardly. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”

“It was no big deal.” Hanna shrugged.

There was a blanket of silence.

“Your kitchen has a nice tapestry.”

“Thanks.”

Another round of silence.

“You want to help me interrogate Cindy and Mindy?” Alison asked.

She saw a spark in Hanna’s eye. She hated the twins with every fiber of her being.

“Oh, _absolutely_.” She didn’t care that Emily had told Alison to take it easy. “On one condition.”

“What?” Alison asked warily.

“I get to drive,” Hanna said, reaching for her coffee. “Emily says you drive like a drunk grandma.”

“It’s _my_ car.”

“True. But only _I_ know where the keys are hidden.” Hanna lifted her brow with a smile. “Besides, the way you parked it last night was abysmal. It’s clear you need some road lessons.”

“Fine.” Alison grumbled. She combed her fingers through her messy hair. “Just give me a few minutes to put on my face.”

“Why? We _want_ to scare them.” Hanna had a sly look on her face.

Alison deadpanned a sarcastic, _“ha ha”_ before she stood up. Hanna mirrored her actions.

“I’m going to get changed.” Hanna stretched and walked towards the stairs.

“Don’t forget your knife-shoes.”

Hanna spun on her heels and gave her a genuine smile. It felt nice. Things were going to hell, but at the very least, some of that heat was thawing the ice in a lot of ways. Alison was relieved that she and Emily weren’t alone in the dark. She had a feeling that as they dug even deeper...they were going to need all the help that they could get.


	21. Frenemies

* * *

**Chapter 21:**

**Frenemies**

Hanna had an outfit for everything, including stealth. Alison was impressed with her casual dress-down. She somehow made stalking look sexy. Alison wondered why she hadn’t seen how pretty Hanna was before now. Maybe she had been jealous of her. Maybe she’d been attracted to her, but had been frustrated about it. Maybe if she had kissed Hanna instead of kicking her around they would have been better friends.

She never would have dreamed that she’d be in a car with Hanna behind the wheel, especially not _her_ car, but here they were. It had been a really intense twenty-four hours. Alison was still trying to process everything. Emily had been so kind and understanding about everything. She had been her rock. The girl was a force of nature in every way possible. Alison was convinced she was superhuman.

Hanna glanced over and saw Alison lost in the screen of her phone. She had been tracking the twins’ location. Hanna suspected that it was a power grab...that she was trying to channel all of her focus on her anger rather than to think about the fact that someone had taken advantage of her last night.

Alison reached up and rubbed her right eye. Even with the foundation she’d applied, Hanna could still see the dark circles underneath her eyes. Alison really had looked pitiful when Emily dragged her into the house. Hanna hadn’t known what to expect when she got Emily’s call. She just assumed that Alison had run off to party her troubles away like she had in the past.

When she found out the truth she felt bad for jumping to the wrong conclusion. She didn’t exactly have a lot of love for Alison, but she hated that someone had drugged her. It was fucked up. And even though they weren’t close...she wanted the person responsible to pay for it. So if Alison thought that the twins were involved and that it would lead them to answers she was ready to jump into the fight in solidarity with her.

“How’s the hangover?” Hanna asked as she turned down the street.

“It’s mostly rage now.” Alison opened Mindy’s Instagram.

There was a new picture of the two of them with Noel. He was sandwiched in the middle with a huge grin on his face. He always had been full of himself. They were all squeezed in together, smiling. They were still at the bakery. Every time she looked at a picture of the twins she felt like putting her fist through their faces. She knew they were up to something. She hated that they were ever friends in the first place. They were toxic.

“So the ibuprofen worked?”

“My headache is gone. I’m motivated by pure hatred at this point. My blood is full of vengeance.” Alison unconsciously started grinding her teeth.

“Okay. Creepy.”

“Can’t you go any faster? They’re not going to stay at the bakery forever.”

“Calm down, _Fast and the Furious_. We’re almost there.”

A message popped up on Alison’s screen. It was Emily checking in on her.

**_I hope Hanna is taking good care of you. How are you feeling?_ **

Alison’s rage dissipated a bit. Emily was such a sweetheart. Alison could be having the worst day in the world and all it would take to make it better was one thought of her girlfriend. It’s how she knew she was in love. Because the girl consumed every part of her soul.

**_I have locked the babysitter in the closet and am now running wild in the house._ **

**_Glad you’re feeling better. Don’t be too hard on Hanna. It takes way too long to break in a new best friend. Be nice, Ali._ **

Alison glanced over at the blonde in the driver’s seat. She had no idea how Emily and Hanna had become such close friends. Then again, she had no idea how she’d ended up madly in love with Emily in a matter of months. Emily just had that pull to her. She was that person who made people feel like they’d known one another forever. She made people feel special.

**_Ugh, fiiine. I’ll be a good girl._ **

**_Good. Save the naughty Ali for me._ **

She’d followed it up with a wink emoji. Alison grinned, her cheeks hot. She quickly retorted.

**_You going to spank me if I’m bad?_ **

“You talking to Emily?” Hanna saw her texting out of the corner of her eye.

“Huh?”

When she looked up Hanna saw the expression on her face. Her cheeks were bright red. She looked like a child who had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Oh, God, are you two sexting?” She cringed.

Alison stared at Hanna in surprise. Her perception was on point.

“She’s just checking on me,” Alison lied.

“Yeah, sure.” Hanna didn’t buy it. She grinned.

The rest of the drive was quiet. When they got to town they parked in an alley adjacent to the bakery. They were hidden, but they could still see what was going on. Alison squirmed in the passenger seat.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Hanna looked over at her. “God, I swear you’re worse than a child.”

“I have a psychopath after my girlfriend and her baby, and I was drugged last night. I’ve earned the right to be a little antsy.”

Hanna paused for a beat and then nodded.

“Fair enough. Continue.” She took a sip of her coffee.

“That’s like your third cup, isn’t it? Your blood has got to be like 80% caffeine at this point.”

“I’ve developed a tolerance over the years.” Hanna shrugged. “Perks of having a barista boyfriend.” She put the cup in the cup-holder. “You know, the funny thing is I used to _hate_ coffee.”

“ _You_ hated coffee?” Alison uttered with a laugh. She couldn’t imagine Hanna Marin without her accessory coffee cup in her hand.

If a Hanna doll was ever made she would come complete with a to-go java.

“After I met Caleb I couldn’t stay away from _The Brew_. I always felt like an asshole just sitting there and flirting with him and never ordering anything, so I started ordering a regular brew and choking it down.” Hanna casually glanced at her nails, frowning at a chip in the paint. “He could tell I didn’t like it, so he kept trying to change it up. I finally admitted that I just wasn’t a coffee fan and he took that as a challenge. He said he’d find me the perfect blend. And he did.”

Alison had never known that about the two of them. It was kind of cute.

“He’s really putting a lot on the line for us.” Alison shifted in the passenger’s seat.

“He is.” Hanna nodded.

Alison had never considered what it must be like to be in Hanna’s or Caleb’s shoes. She wondered if the tables were turned if she’d have the decency to help them if they needed it.

“It’s not like he’s a stranger to taking risks. He started his side hustle up again after he got out of juvie. It’s nothing fancy. He just sells burners and helps kids break their parental locks on their phones and creates spoof apps that their parents can’t find so if they want to talk to their friends about something private they can. It’s important to him that kids have a safety net.”

“Because he never did.” Alison glanced at the floorboard solemnly.

“He doesn’t like to talk about it. But yeah. Things would have been a lot easier for him if he had a confidant.”

It was hard for Alison to comprehend Caleb’s upbringing. Her family had been shitty, but at least she’d never gone without the necessities. She always had what she needed and more. It humbled her a bit…thinking about the working class.

It made her think about a conversation she’d had with Emily about being kind to everyone. The night she’d told Alison about her pregnancy they’d gone to grab a bite to eat. Alison had been rude to the girl who took their order. She remembered Emily knocking her down a peg for being snotty and entitled. She’d told Alison, _“That could be me in a year.”_

She’d seen Emily work hard for everything she had. It made Alison appreciate the value of things. Her priorities had shifted. Emily had certainly changed her world view. She’d made her look beyond herself.

Alison used to look down on people like Caleb. Now she understood there was more to life than money and power. She understood that things like love and friendship were worth more than anything money could buy.

“Do you ever worry about him getting caught?” Alison questioned.

“I knew what I was getting into when we started going out. I mean, we _did_ meet in the police station.”

“Seriously?” Alison snorted. “What exactly did you get busted for? Wearing a skirt that was too short and being mistaken for a prostitute?”

“I would never hone in on your territory. Your street corner is safe.” Hanna grinned. “I actually got taken in for shoplifting.”

“Oh.” It surprised Alison. Hanna’s mom made decent money. Stealing was beneath her. “Why were you shoplifting?”

“I liked the rush. It made me feel like I had some control in my life.” There was a quiet sadness in her voice. She looked down and picked at her chipped nail. “It was kind of a rough time for me. I’d just found out that my dad started a whole new family without me. Perfect wife. Perfect stepford stepdaughter. They live their stupid perfect little lives out on the beach. He had the nerve to send us a Christmas card with his new family.”

“What a dick.” Alison could sympathize with feeling like an unwanted child. She understood what it was like to have absentee parents.

“It was like the ultimate ‘fuck you’. Between that and you teasing me about my weight at school…”

Alison looked away, her cheeks hot and red. She was ashamed of the way she’d treated Hanna. She was ashamed of the way she’d treated everyone.

“I never should have done that. I never should have started that whole ‘Hefty Hanna’ thing.”

Hanna flinched when she heard Alison’s old nickname for her. It had really done a number on her when they were younger.

“Whatever. It’s in the past.” But Alison could tell that it still bothered her.

“It’s not though.” Alison traced her finger against the center console nervously. “I didn’t realize that the things I said and did…I didn’t realize that it would break people…or that it would stay with them for the rest of their lives. I get it now. I think about what this person is doing to Emily. I know she thought it was me last night. And I realized…it _could_ have been me. I was like that. It’s not that far of a leap to make.”

“I thought it was you, too.” Hanna admitted. “For a little while. Ever since you two started going out I’ve been worried you would hurt Emily the same way you hurt everyone else.” Hanna’s eyes darted down. She chewed on her lip nervously. “Your bullying really did get out of hand. I know sometimes I’m hard on you. But it’s only because I’ve seen what you’ve done in the past. You know...Mona...she...she wanted to kill herself at one point because of all that stuff you said about her being a loser. She started to believe it. She thought she was worthless. She planned it out and everything.”

“What?” Alison straightened up in her seat.

She felt sick to her stomach. It was a horrifying thought. And what was even more horrifying is that she wasn’t sure that she would have cared back then. Had she really been so self-absorbed that no one else’s life mattered? She probably wouldn’t have batted an eye. She wouldn’t have seen that she’d done anything wrong. But now...now all she could feel was a tidal wave of remorse. She had the urge to hug Mona the next time she saw her. She wanted her to know that she was glad she was alive. She wanted her to know that she belonged in the world.

“She reached out to some guy to buy some drugs. She’s wickedly smart. She knew exactly how much would kill her. She calculated the dose. If I hadn’t gone over to her house with muffins that morning...” Hanna’s face twisted in pain. “I talked her out of it. But I’ll never forget the look on her face.”

“I...I didn’t know.”

“No one knows.” Hanna slowly faced her. “No one knows any of this, because none of us talk about it. But I’m thinking that maybe we should. Because it makes it more real. Maybe people need to understand how their actions affect other people. Maybe part of the problem is we don’t talk. I mean, I can’t speak for Mona. I don’t know whether or not she’d want you to know this. So please don’t tell her.”

“I promise.” Alison nodded, swallowing a knot in her throat. There was a long period of silence. “Hanna, you never tried to hurt yourself, did you?”

Hanna sighed. She looked conflicted about answering.

“Not in the same sense. But I...” she swallowed hard. “I did end up in a psych ward for a month one summer because I developed an eating disorder.”

Alison felt a wave of regret washing over her. The remorse was like an angry sea dragging her under the surface and pulling her in several different directions. She wished she could go back and take a completely different path.

“Jesus. Hanna, I’m so sorry...” She reached out and touched her arm. “If I could go back I never would have done those things...”

“I know,” Hanna slowly lifted her eyes. “Why were you so mean?”

Alison could see the vulnerable little chubby girl she used to tease. She could see the pain she’d caused. She had never considered the consequences of her actions. She had never considered that something as simple as a snide comment could stick with someone forever or twist their sense of self-worth into such a feeling of emptiness.

“I’m still trying to figure that out.” Alison admitted. “It’s like I told you before…part of it was because my parents were never there. And when they were there they treated me more like a prop than their daughter. And it made me mad when I saw other people happy. When I realized that I could manipulate people’s feelings I realized how powerful it made me feel.”

She pulled her hand away from the center console and glanced at Hanna, who seemed intrigued in hearing what she had to say.

“Some of it probably stems from trying to figure myself out, too. Like…when I first started liking girls I was so confused. I never hated myself or anything. I just…didn’t know how to express my feelings. I don’t know that I’ve ever understood how healthy relationships work. I’ve been cat-called by my brother’s friends since I was like eight. It was intimidating, but it also made me feel good about myself at the same time.”

“Your brother’s friends are really shitty people, Ali. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Yeah…”

Alison plopped back against the seat and laid her head against the headrest. She had never really taken the time to reflect about it. Maybe it was easier talking to Hanna about it than it was for her to face it herself.

“It kind of shaped me, I guess. I liked feeling good. I liked being on top. So it’s about control…maybe? I don’t know. All I know is that I think about all the awful things I’ve done and then I think about how I’d feel if someone treated Emily’s daughter like that…” Her face felt like it was on fire. She pictured a tiny vulnerable little girl. And she pictured people like Ian. And Wilden. And herself. Her hands started to shake. “It makes me feel sick. If anyone ever hurt Emily or the baby the way I hurt you and Mona and Mike…” Alison clenched her jaw. “I’d take a baseball bat to their skull. Forget cute little meetcutes in the police precinct over shoplifting and hacking. I’d be behind bars for real. Because I’d kill them.”

Hanna pursed her lips and lifted her brows, a subtle look of approval on her face.

“I don’t doubt that,” she replied.

The car was quiet for a few minutes. Alison stared at her phone. She was starting to understand just how awful it was to be on the other end of a bully. She was starting to get a taste of her own medicine.

It was terrifying that someone had infiltrated her privacy. It made her skin crawl to think about how much worse things could have been. A chill crept up her spine. Goosebumps popped up all over her body. She had been _unconscious_ with a psychopath. She could have been hurt. She could have been _killed_.

“How are you doing?” Hanna didn’t miss her tension.

“I’m a little bored, actually.” Alison frowned, looking out the window. “I thought this stakeout would be more productive.”

“Like 90% of a stakeout is sitting and waiting…” Hanna laughed when she saw the ‘how do you even know that?’ look on Alison’s face. “I’ve been the lookout for Caleb a time or two while he runs his side hustle. But you missed the point entirely. I want to know how _you_ are doing. I mean…last night. That’s…” Hanna shook her head. “It’s just super invasive and violating.”

“I’m mostly just pissed off at myself. I mean…yeah, I’d like to throw some punches at who did it, but I’m also not blind to the fact that I was stupidly reckless.”

“We’re all stupidly reckless sometimes. That doesn’t make what happened to you okay.” Hanna had a pensive look on her face. “The shit with Wilden. The shit with Ian. The shit that happened last night…you know none of that is on you, right? People don’t have the right to mess with other people’s lives just because they’re acting stupidly reckless.”

Hanna’s bout of kindness surprised Alison. Her confusion must have been written all over her face, because Hanna bit her lip and then added,

“I had an experience once, too,” she explained. “People don’t know how common it really is. And it’s not always in-your-face.”

“What happened?”

“Caleb and I were at dinner one night and the place was really packed. This guy kept looking at me and smiling. He was a total creepo. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came out he was walking through the crowd. He brushed his hand against my ass when he walked by. Caleb saw. He punched him. He was going to beat the shit out of him, but the guy threatened to press charges and I didn’t want Caleb going back to juvie.”

Alison peered at her in surprise.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before. I kind of froze when I saw Ian acting like a jackass at the party. I had a flashback to the restaurant.”

“Is that why Caleb wouldn’t let Mike beat Ian’s ass?”

“Caleb looks out for his friends.” Hanna nodded. “Sometimes at his own expense.”

“Yeah, Emily is the same way.” Alison bit her lip. She thought about the scabs she’d seen on Emily’s hands this morning. She said she’d gotten them from boxing, but Alison wasn’t sure she believed her. “Did she seem like she was okay to you back at the house?”

“Emily always seems like she’s okay. It’s part of her personality.”

“A lot of that is an act.” Alison could feel it in their touch. She knew there was a lot that Emily _wasn’t_ saying.

“I know.” Hanna nodded. “But with people like Emily and Caleb I’ve found that the path of least resistance is the best way to go. The harder you push the faster they pull away.”

“It makes me so angry that someone is doing this to her.” Alison scowled through the front windshield.

Hanna perked up because she saw movement. It was the twins.

“Maybe you can work some of your aggression out on them.”

Cindy and Mindy sauntered out of the bakery. Noel was nowhere to be seen. They walked eerily in sync.

“Bitches on the move.” Alison jutted her chin up towards the twins.

They watched them cross the street and walk over to a vacant lot with an empty building for lease. Sometimes kids snuck inside to drink or get freaky with each other, but considering they were going inside together Alison assumed that’s not what they were doing…unless they were in some weird familial sex cult…

Alison shook her head and shoved the image out of her mind. She glanced at Hanna, who looked equally disturbed.

“Come on.” Alison reached for the door handle.

Hanna followed her lead. They tried to be inconspicuous as they crossed the street. They went around to the side of the building to look through the windows. The girls were talking to someone in the shadows.

They had to wait a few minutes to get a better view. The person in the darkness stepped forward. Alison and Hanna stumbled back from the window when they saw his face.

Wilden.

Alison let out an instinctive snarl. She sneered as she turned to storm towards the side door. She was ready to give all three of them a piece of her mind.

Hanna grabbed Alison’s arm and shushed her before she could do something stupid. She pointed to the window.

“We’ll learn more if they don’t know we’re here. We can follow them and beat them up afterwards.”

Alison knew she was right. So she stood at the window and watched the twins giggle and laugh and chat with him. Alison felt her stomach churning.

Why the hell were they meeting with him? Why wasn’t he behind bars? How was the police force not all over him? How was he meeting with _underage_ girls _again_?

“Do you think it’s been him all along?” Hanna asked. “You think they have something to do with it?”

“I don’t know _what_ they’re up to, but with him it’s never good.” She rubbed her forehead with her palm.

“Why him?” Hanna whispered. “Why _them_?”

“Probably because they’re the only people in town who hate me more than you do.”

Alison said it with such conviction that it made Hanna stop and stare. She looked _disappointed_ , which was weird for Hanna, because she didn’t know that Alison actually cared.

Hanna touched her arm softly, forcing Alison to look at her.

“I don’t _hate_ you, Alison,” she said. “I’m just…mildly annoyed by your presence.” It made Alison laugh. “But like…if something happened to you I’d be sad. Not cry over your coffin sad or anything, but I’d get misty-eyed when _Amazing Grace_ played.”

“God, I never realized you were so morbid.” Alison chuckled under her breath.

“Like you would cry at my funeral?” Hanna lifted a brow in curiosity.

“I might.” She saw Hanna glare at her. “Okay, yeah, it wouldn’t be worth ruining my mascara.”

They saw the twins moving towards the door. Wilden started slinking in the opposite direction. Hanna and Alison ducked underneath the window. They heard the door close and Cindy and Mindy chatting. They weren’t close enough to hear what they were saying.

Hanna cautiously lifted her head and peeked in the window. Her eyes widened.

“Shit.” Hanna grabbed Alison’s arm. “Shitshitshit.” She uttered. “He’s coming this way.”

She pulled Alison towards the back of the building. Seconds later they heard the side door open. Alison tripped over her feet and tumbled to the ground, taking Hanna with her. It was cold and hard from the frost. It made Alison regret that she wasn’t wearing layers. It was ironic that she’d bitched at Emily not to go out in the cold, and now she was sitting outside freezing her ass off.

They heard footsteps approaching, and they thought they’d been caught. But after a few seconds the crunching of the shoes against the cold ground went in the opposite direction.

Hanna crawled towards the edge of the building. She didn’t hear anything, so she took a quick peek. The coast was clear. She breathed a sigh of relief. She turned around and she realized that the blonde hadn’t moved.

“You okay?” Hanna asked.

“Just a little frostbite.” Alison dusted herself off.

“Not what I meant.” She glanced towards where Wilden had disappeared.

She knew that Alison had a legitimate reason to be bothered by seeing Wilden. Alison put on a brave facade, but Hanna had seen the broken look on her face the day Emily punched Wilden in the cafeteria. Wilden had hurt her in ways that couldn’t be seen by the naked eye.

“You know, I didn’t think he’d get a life sentence or anything, but I was hoping he’d at least see _some_ consequences for his actions.” Alison stuck her lip out, scowling in no general direction. “He shouldn’t be free to walk around.”

“Maybe he won’t be much longer.” Hanna pulled her phone out of her sleeve.

Alison had to do a double take. Hanna pulled up a shaky video of the twins meeting a sexual predator who was supposed to be on probation.

“Hanna Marin, I could kiss you.” Alison grabbed the phone.

“Please don’t.” Hanna slowly reached for the phone back. She looked at the video. “Maybe if we figure out what Cindy and Mindy are up to we’ll get answers as to whether or not they’re involved in what’s going on with you and Em.”

They carefully crept around the building, peering out to make sure that no one was waiting to spring a trap on them. They saw Wilden step off of the curb and climb into the back seat of a dark grey car down the street. There was movement from the other side of the car, but an illegally parked van was obscuring the other side of the vehicle.

A gust of wind whizzed through the air and Alison saw the faint flutter of something that made her skin prickle.

A red coat.

Someone else climbed into the car with Wilden. It was hard to see from a distance, but it looked like someone was in the front seat, too.

Alison saw Hanna snap a picture. The urge to kiss her returned. At least one of them was thinking clearly.

The car started to pull away. Alison grabbed Hanna’s arm and they rushed back towards their car. They thought if they were quick enough they could find a way to tail them. But by the time they scrambled into Alison’s car, Wilden and his posse were long gone.

“Damn it!” Alison angrily slammed her hands against the dashboard.

“Easy. You wouldn’t want to break a nail,” Hanna said.

“Why are you so calm?” Alison asked in frustration.

Hanna had a grin on her face that made Alison want to slap her.

“Because my boyfriend knows how to hack traffic cams. Now that we know what the car looks like and which direction it was going it’s only a matter of time before we find it on CCTV.”

“Oh.” Alison felt the surge of anger dissipating. She’d been so riled up that she hadn’t even considered that. “You’re surprisingly good at this.”

“Annoys you a little bit, doesn’t it?” Hanna chuckled.

“Annoys me a lot.” Alison corrected her.

“Look, I know you’re freaked out about this, but you’ve got to pull it together.” Hanna faced Alison.

“I’m sorry, but do _you_ have a psycho after you?” Alison retorted.

“Of course you have a reason to be on edge. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that it’s about more than that. This is about Emily. And her baby. I get that you’re scared. And I get that you’ve been through a lot. I can’t even imagine…” She trailed off, “I know I’d freak out if I’d been drugged, too. But Emily is going through a lot, too. And she needs you right now. She needs you more than you need whatever coping mechanisms are in your repertoire. You are _way_ smarter than you’ve been acting.”

Hanna was right. And Alison hated that she was right. She frowned at her, but then her face softened. Hanna was trying to look out for her girlfriend. That struck a chord in her.

“You really care about her, don’t you?” Alison questioned.

“When we were little she was one of the only people in my life who made me feel special. I never forgot how kind she was to me. She’s just a genuinely good person.”

“Yeah. I get that.”

“You two work on a level that I don’t get, but I’m not blind to it. It’s clear you love her. And she’s crazy about you. And the only way you’re going to get through this is by working through it together.”

Alison pressed her lips together, peering at Hanna with a thoughtful look on her face.

“Do you think I’m good enough for her?”

“What I think isn’t really relevant.”

“It’s a yes or no question, Hanna.” She wanted a truly unbiased opinion. She knew that Hanna wouldn’t hold back.

“Of course you are. Don’t be an idiot.” Hanna rolled her eyes.

“Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear just for Emily’s sake.” Alison argued.

“Oh, believe me, I’m not filtering anything. I mean it. It’s just that you’re so busy trying to fix things and make things perfect that you haven’t realized that things don’t _have_ to be perfect. You’re so busy looking at yourself that you don’t see the way that Emily looks at you. You need to stop focusing on what you think you’re doing wrong and focus on what you’re doing right.”

Alison blinked in surprise. She’d never really seen if from that viewpoint. Hanna was right. She’d been working on trying to please Emily since she’d rolled into town. She’d never once stopped to consider that maybe Emily loved her for her, and that as long as she tried to be her best self…that would never change.

“You ever consider a career in counseling?” Alison questioned.

“God, no.” Hanna scoffed. “I don’t have the tact. Or the patience. I wouldn’t last a day before telling someone to cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.”

“Sometimes tough love is the best love.” Alison shrugged.

“And sometimes people are just depraved sociopathic narcissists sneaking around in warehouses and meeting underage girls.” Hanna glanced at the photo on her phone.

“Can you see anything?” Alison questioned.

“License plate is blocked by that stupid van.” Hanna frowned. “I can’t tell if it’s an Uber or not.”

“Did you see the girl?” Alison asked.

“What girl?”

“The girl in the red coat. The one who got in the car after Wilden.”

Hanna shook her head.

“I couldn’t see anything over the van. Are you sure someone else got in the car?”

“Positive.” The red coat couldn’t be a coincidence. “I think it’s Courtney. I think she’s here. We have to warn Emily.”

“Courtney…that’s her ex’s sister, right? The one all the way back in Texas?” Hanna reminded her of the distance. “What would she be doing here? And how would she even _be_ here? I don’t think many high-schoolers are free to just hop from state to state during the school year.”

“I know, but I just have this feeling. I can smell a bitch from a mile away.”

“There are tons of bitches right here in town. It was probably Cindy or Mindy.”

“Hanna, you’re supposed to be a fashion guru. Did you not look at what they were wearing? Neither one of them had on a red coat.”

“You’re right.” Hanna pointed to a little boutique.

Through the large glass window they could see the twat twins browsing the items. Alison frowned. She knew the boutique well. It was very pricey, and Cindy and Mindy had always been bargain bin barbies. Their parents didn’t make enough for fancy designer things.

“I’ve never seen them shop there in my life.” Alison pinched her brow in thought. “Their parents aren’t exactly rolling in dough.”

“They’re getting big bucks from somewhere. Not even _I_ can find a sale in tres bourgeois boutique.” Hanna leaned forward and angled her phone to take a picture. “Wonder if they’re getting a payoff from someone.”

“I bet that _someone_ is Wilden.” Alison huffed in disgust. She could just picture him being some perverted sugar daddy. And the twins would _love_ that.

“With what money? He wasn’t exactly rich to begin with. And bail isn’t cheap. Any assets he has would likely be frozen at this point.” Hanna curled her lips down. “Something doesn’t add up here.”

“Let’s take this as an opportunity to have a nice little chat with them.” Alison leaned forward in her seat, glaring daggers at Cindy and Mindy.

“I say we take this an opportunity to put the fear of Alison DiLaurentis in them.” Hanna turned to her with a sneaky grin on her face.

Alison smiled back. Emily forcing her to spend the day with Hanna was shaping up to be a great idea. Teaming up with the scrappy blonde might have been the best thing that she didn’t know could have happened.

They made their way over to the shop without drawing attention to themselves. They followed a group of twenty-somethings in and then hid behind a rack of dresses, pretending to look at them so they wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

Cindy and Mindy weren’t holding back. They were picking up items left and right, as if they had an unlimited amount of funds. They walked back to a large private dressing room. Alison was familiar with it. It was never monitored.

She motioned for Hanna to follow her. They walked back to the secluded area. They waited behind an area where people could put items they weren’t interested in buying.

“I feel like a serial killer,” Hanna whispered.

“Let me do the heavy lifting. You just be the serial getaway driver.”

Cindy and Mindy walked to the private room and opened the door with a key. Mindy stepped in first, juggling an armful of clothing. Cindy was walking in behind her when Alison and Hanna made their move.

Cindy spun around just as Alison and Hanna pushed their way through the door. Cindy’s face blanched. She reached up and tried to shove Alison away, but Alison dodged her. Cindy tried to hit her. Alison grabbed her wrist and twisted it, just like she’d learned in self-defense with Aria.

Mindy froze, her eyes darting between her sister, Alison, and Hanna.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Alison looked at Cindy accusingly.

“What are _you_ doing here?” Cindy sneered at her, ripping her wrist free from the blonde’s grasp.

She tried to strike her again, but Alison slammed her up against the side of the dressing room and held her in place. She pressed her arm against Cindy’s clavicle.

“Ow! You’re hurting me!”

Cindy and Mindy both looked towards the door. Hanna pushed it shut and reached up and turned the lock. She crossed her arms across her chest and stood in front of it like a bouncer in front of a raging wild club.

Mindy looked at Hanna, trying to calculate if she could get past her and out the door to run for help. Hanna saw the expression on her face.

“Oh, I wish you would.” Hanna challenged. “Try me. Go ahead. See what happens. I’ll rip those fork earrings out of your head and use them to stab your eyes out.”

“Get off of me.” Cindy struggled. She tried to step on Alison’s foot with her heel, but Alison yanked her hair and kicked her shin. Cindy yelped.

“You lied to me.” Alison felt a fierce ferocity charging through her veins.

“What are you talking about?” Cindy snorted.

“Wilden.” She saw Cindy’s face flinch when she said his name. It enraged her. “What is he up to? Is he the one who set up the trap at the dance for us?”

“What? No!”

“Why are you and _Thing 2_ over there meeting up with him in the dark?” Alison demanded. “What are you three planning? If you hurt Emily I swear I’ll end you…”

“We’ve left you alone just like we said we would.” Cindy pushed back against Alison. She sneered angrily at her. “You’re the one who is going around ruining lives. That stupid little stunt you pulled having the RA e-mail our parents about the drugs and sex in the fraternity got us grounded for like…ever.”

“You put my girlfriend in the hospital. You’re lucky I didn’t do the same to you.” Alison curled her fingers into a fist.

“We _told_ you that was an accident.” Cindy snapped.

“An accident that you said you didn’t know the details of. But if you’re so innocent then why are you sneaking around with Wilden?”

“Because he could get in a lot of trouble if he’s seen talking to us…” Cindy sized Alison up, “…thanks to _you_ and your stupid lies.”

It was Hanna who called her out on it first. A gust of heated anger puffed out of her nose, like a bull ready to charge.

“Wilden is a sick pedo. And you’re an idiot if you’re buying his shit that he’s innocent.” Hanna cut an angry look at Cindy. When she looked away Mindy made a subtle motion towards the door. Hanna spun back towards her. “Don’t even think about it or I’ll smack the dye job right out of you.”

“Since when are you Alison’s bitch?” Mindy made a face like she smelled something rotten.

“I’m a free agent. I just like to see her kick your asses.” Hanna shrugged it off.

“How exactly is it that you can afford all of this?” Alison motioned to the fancy clothes. “What kind of side hustle does Wilden have you doing?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Cindy rolled her eyes. It pissed Alison off.

All Alison could think about was how most of her night was a complete blank. Someone was messing with her life. With Emily’s life. With the baby’s life. Jesus, if something happened to the baby...she would go on a fucking murder spree.

“No more games.” Alison put pressure against Cindy’s chest. “Either you talk or we’re taking you to the police. We have proof that you were with Wilden. And whatever he’s doing _can’t_ be legal. Do you know how much trouble you’ll be in?”

“You…” Cindy licked her lips nervously. “You’re bluffing. You wouldn’t…”

“I think you know me well enough to know I _would_. So start talking.”

Cindy hesitated. She looked scared. But then she straightened up and cleared her throat. She was trying to look like she wasn’t intimidated. It was almost laughable.

“You don’t scare me, Alison DiLaurentis.” Cindy pushed her face into Alison’s. “You’re nothing but a degenerate stepford reject. Your loser family doesn’t even care about you…”

Alison reared back to hit her. But she didn’t slap her like she normally would have. This time it was a close-fisted right hook to her jaw.

She jerked her fist back when she felt the sting of the hit, but she took satisfaction in seeing the look on Cindy’s face.

“Damn.” Hanna laughed, giving Alison a look of approval. She was impressed.

“How about now?” Alison cut into her with a vicious glare as she tightened her hold on Cindy.

“Stop it!” Cindy huffed.

“You’re hurting her.” Mindy whined.

“I’m giving you one last chance. Tell me what the hell is going on.”

“He just…he pays us for odd jobs sometimes.” Cindy squirmed underneath Alison’s grasp. Alison loosened her hold.

“He _what_?” Alison’s face twisted in disgust.

“Just like…running errands and stuff. God, it’s not a big deal. You just made it hell for him to do things in this town…”

“ _Stop_ blaming her.” Hanna growled in aggravation. Alison DiLaurentis was a lot of things, but she wasn’t to blame for people like Wilden.

“What kind of stuff does he have you doing?”

“Nothing that involves _you_ , so don’t worry about it.”

“That’s not an answer.” Alison put pressure against her trachea again.

“God, you’re such a bitch.” Cindy sneered at Alison. “Why do you care? Obsessed much?”

“Just answer the fucking question.”

“He still cares about his team. Sometimes he’ll have us bring them vitamins and ideas for plays.”

“ _Vitamins_?” Alison lifted her brows suspiciously. She didn’t believe that for a second. “My God, you are _so_ naïve.”

He was peddling steroids. He had probably been Noel’s supplier, which is why Noel was so pissed about Wilden being ousted.

“What else?” Alison asked.

“Sometimes we give him rides to places that he doesn’t want to be followed to. The press is constantly after him, you know?”

“What press?” Alison scoffed. “The tiny pipsqueak on the yearbook committee at school? No one gives a damn about Darren Wilden.”

“He deserves his private life.”

“He forfeited that life the second he started harassing underage girls.” Alison argued.

She winced at the thought that he was still seen as some sort of hero to some of the people in Rosewood. She couldn’t shake the idea that he’d been at the bar...watching her like a sleaze.

“Where was he last night?” Alison questioned.

“We’re not his babysitters.” Cindy shrugged.

There was a knock at the door. A cheery salesperson’s voice carried into the room.

“Everything okay in there?”

Alison and Hanna glared at the twins, ordering them not to say a word.

“Everything is fine!” Mindy’s voice almost betrayed her. “We’re almost done.”

“Find anything you like?” she asked.

“She said we’re fine, thanks.” Alison replied curtly.

They heard her footsteps retreating. Alison knew it was only a matter of time before she returned. She slowly backed away from Cindy. She stared at her with a steely resolve.

“Are we done here?” Cindy rubbed her neck dramatically, acting as if Alison had ripped a hole in her jugular.

“Where was he the night of the Halloween dance?” Alison asked.

“He had some family thing.”

Something about that didn’t sit right with Alison, especially given what they knew about Wilden’s family. It didn’t sound like his dad was very involved in his life and his mom wasn’t in town. The DNA profile hadn’t yielded them any answers. She felt like they were missing something huge. She felt the wheels in her brain spinning. That whole night had been such a blur. Anyone could have slipped into the school in costume undetected.

“I didn’t think he had any family. Didn’t his aunt die a few years ago?” Alison tried to piece everything together.

“He’s pretty private about all that.” Cindy’s response seemed genuine.

“Who was the girl?” Alison thought about the glimpse of the red coat she’d seen.

The twins looked at one another, perplexed expressions on their matching faces. It looked like real confusion.

“What girl?” Mindy asked.

“The girl in the red coat.” Her anger had leveled out into a quiet subdued rage. There was a tone in her voice that told the girls not to test her.

“We don’t know anything about that.” Mindy walked over to her sister. She wrapped her arm into Cindy’s arm, showing Alison they were a united front.

Hanna moved next to Alison, ready to pounce if the twins tried anything. Cindy and Mindy scoffed at her.

“You her guard dog, Marin?” Mindy asked.

Cindy nudged her, trying to get her to shut up. She was still shaken up from Alison’s beating.

“No, but I _will_ bite you.” Hanna threatened.

“I think your bitch wants her treats now.” Mindy glanced at Alison. “But be careful. I hear too many treats makes dogs fat.”

Alison saw a flash of red. Seconds later she was on both of the girls, prying them apart. She threw Cindy into the wall so hard that the mirror vibrated. Cindy fell to the ground with a subdued cry.

“What the fuck did you say to her?” Alison snarled.

Alison grabbed Mindy by her shirt collar and spun her around so fast that they both ended up falling to the floor. She sat on top of her, straddling her. Mindy reached up to claw at her face, but Alison smacked her hands away and pinned them to her side.

Cindy got her bearings. She moved to jump on Alison’s back, but she was stopped short by Hanna’s fist. The uppercut caught her in the gut. As she doubled over Hanna bulldozed her and Cindy groaned and fell back to the ground.

“Apologize.” Alison hissed to Mindy. She looked rabid. “Apologize _right now_.”

“Christ, you’re insane, Alison.” Mindy gawked.

“Mindy, I swear to God...”

“Fine! I’m sorry!” She exclaimed.

“Good girl.” Alison patted her cheek harshly.

She shoved Mindy’s head against the carpet for good measure and then she stood up and walked over to Hanna. They nodded silently at one another. The twins both shakily rose to their feet.

Alison’s prediction of the salesgirl coming back came to fruition a few seconds later. There was a rap on the dressing room door.

“How are things going?”

Alison looked around at the pile of clothing that Mindy had dropped against the bench. She picked up two of the ugliest outfits and handed them to the twins.

“Tell her you want these.” She was being petty, because she knew they’d look terrible in them.

Hanna caught on to what she was doing. She tried not to laugh. Cindy and Mindy eyed Alison suspiciously, but then took the outfits she’d picked out and slowly walked towards the door. They waited for Hanna to move.

“Wait…” Alison hesitated as she watched them go. She hated the twin terrors, but she also knew exactly what kind of man that Wilden was, “Listen, Wilden is dangerous. You should stay away from him.”

He preyed on people exactly like the two dense bimbos standing in the dressing room. They were vile humans, but they didn’t deserve the likes of Wilden. She knew they wouldn’t heed her warning, but she had to try.

The twins scurried out of the dressing room as soon as Hanna moved aside. Hanna and Alison slipped out of the boutique just as quietly as they’d slipped in.

“Thanks for the assist.” Alison said, rubbing her knuckles as they walked back towards the car.

“My pleasure. It was an honor being your corner woman and seeing you dominate in that arena.” Hanna smiled. “You’ve got a nice right hook.”

“Remind me to thank Jake and Aria for that.” Alison chuckled. “You weren’t so shabby yourself. Caleb teach you some moves?”

“Among other things.” Hanna had a smirk on her face.

“Ugh, gross, Marin.”

“You were the one sexting in the car earlier.” Hanna shrugged.

“Oh, if Emily only knew what we just did...” She trailed off.

“She’s going to kill you.” Hanna nodded in agreement. “What do you think about what they said?”

“I wish they’d said more,” Alison admitted. “But I think we can work with what we’ve got.”

“Let’s hope so,” Hanna said.

They climbed in the car. Alison was contemplative, trying to take in everything Cindy had told her. She started jotting down notes, trying to draw lines between what was happening to Emily and how Wilden was involved. Her brain was working overtime as she wrote out fragments of what had happened to them.


	22. Control

* * *

**Chapter 22:**

**Control**

Around the time Alison started interrogating the twins, Emily and Caleb were parking outside the bar. They both quietly scanned the area, neither sure what they were looking for. Caleb took stock of the bar, carefully observing every corner. He was a very meticulous person. Emily liked that about him.

“I don’t see any security cams.” He pressed his lips together in a tight frown. He looked back at the street and something caught his eye. He nodded towards a red-light cam. “Ah ha.” _Something_ hackable. “We can start there.”

He grabbed his laptop and opened it up. He started typing something.

“I need to narrow the window of time down a little. Do you know what time Alison got here last night?” he asked.

“Seven? Maybe eight?”

Emily’s phone started buzzing. She saw her mom’s name on the caller ID. Her helicopter parenting wasn’t anything new, but it still annoyed Emily. It made her think about how she might act as a mother. She wondered if she would be a worrier like her mom. She absentmindedly put her palm against her stomach. She felt a tiny flutter against her hand. She couldn’t help but smile.

_Already sassing me, are you, peanut?_

She glanced at her mother’s name on the caller ID. She sighed and picked up. All she could hear on the other end of the line was a bunch of static. Her mother’s voice was barely audible. She glanced at her phone and saw that she didn’t have any service.

“Mom, I can’t hear you,” Emily replied. “I’ll call you back.”

As she was hanging up, Caleb’s laptop chimed. He pulled up some of the CCTV footage and started scrolling through it. Several cars had gone through the busy intersection going into the bar parking lot. None of the footage looked out of the ordinary.

But there was one car they both recognized. The photo was grainy and the car was barely in the frame. They both perked up when they saw it.

“Is that the sedan that was outside during the snowstorm?” Caleb tried to get a better look at it.

Emily shuddered. That attack had felt so personal. It hadn’t put them in any physical harm, but there was something cold about the way the person had destroyed the little family she and Alison had built out of snow.

“Can’t be a coincidence.” Emily leaned closer to the screen.

“Wonder if anyone inside knows who drives it.” Caleb took a screenshot and sent it to his phone.

There were no distinguishing marks present on the vehicle. And the driver wasn’t visible. It’s almost as if the person driving knew exactly where to go to avoid the cameras. Because of fucking course this psycho was all-knowing and omnipresent.

Caleb reached for the door handle. Emily followed his lead.

They walked towards the bar together. There was a ‘closed’ sign. The lights were off. Emily tried the door anyway. It was unlocked.

She glanced at Caleb, waiting to see how he’d proceed. She couldn’t help but wonder what Alison would do if she was with her. She probably would have charged in and leaped over the bar and demanded answers from the poor busboy just there doing his job. She’d seen the blonde snap more than once. She could be very frightening when she wanted to.

Caleb grabbed the door and held it open for her.

“Breaking and entering charges be damned, right?” Emily said with a smile.

“It’s just ‘entering’. The door is unlocked.” Caleb had a cheeky look on his face.

Hanna had often told her that she loved Caleb’s mischievous spirit. Emily had caught glimpses of it occasionally, but it was out in full force today. His eyes had an impish spark in them. She could see the years of necessary trouble he had under his belt in the way he carried himself. She was glad she had another troublemaker by her side. Caleb certainly didn’t shy away from weird and unusual situations.

They walked inside. The chairs had been placed upside down on the tables so the floors could be swept. The barstools were up against the bar. They heard noises coming from the back room. A few seconds later a door swung open. A large burly guy in jeans and a T-shirt walked out holding a hand towel. He looked at Caleb and Emily in confusion.

“You’re not the delivery driver.” He tossed the towel on to the bar and started wiping the counter. “We’re closed.”

“The door was open.” Emily pointed towards the door. She suddenly got a whiff of the heavy cleaning supplies and she felt her stomach churning. She managed to choke back her nausea. “A friend of ours was here last night. She thinks she might have left something. Mind if we have a look around?”

“What did she lose?” He picked up a stray glass that had been left on the bar.

“Her dignity.” Caleb muttered.

He looked around at the dive bar. The floors were scuffed and dirty and sticky. Peanut shells were all over the place. He saw a roach scurry underneath the bar. There was a used condom in a booth near the back of the bar. The walls had writing all over it. The place reeked of cigarette smoke and alcohol. He’d been to some pretty seedy places, but the bar was a little low class even for him. He was surprised it’s where Alison had ended up.

“Do you mind?” Emily smiled politely at the man. “We won’t be long.”

“Knock yourself out.” He shrugged as he continued his cleaning spree. He had his work cut out for him.

Caleb and Emily walked to the far end of the bar.

“What exactly are we looking for?” Caleb asked.

“I don’t know.” Emily rubbed her temple. She was exhausted. “Anything.” She scoured the bar, hoping it would yield her some answers. “I’m so tired of looking over my shoulder. I keep waiting for bad things to happen. And it shouldn’t be like that.”

“Yeah, I get it.” He nodded in understanding.

They wanted to find something that would be some kind of revelation. Some big clue to the identity of the person torturing her. But they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary except a tube of mascara, a guitar pick, and a tarnished silver lighter that looked like it had seen better days. They carefully placed the three items in a plastic bag.

“Got anything else?” Caleb questioned as he dropped the lighter into the bag.

“I’m pretty sure if we looked hard enough we could find an STD floating around...”

Caleb laughed.

“Just give me a few minutes to do my thing,” he said as he pulled out his phone.

He noted the IP address for the Wi-Fi, both public and private, just in case the person who had tried to frame Alison had been stupid enough to use Wi-Fi to transfer the pictures. He told Emily it was a long shot, because it was clearly someone who knew what they were doing. But he wanted to explore all avenues.

Emily stared at the bottles lining the back wall behind the bar. She tried to picture Alison sitting at the bar nursing a drink. She hated that Alison had felt so alone that she’d isolated herself. She felt guilty for pushing her away after their argument outside the gym. Maybe if she hadn’t pulled away Alison wouldn’t have ended up by herself in a bar. She felt like she was partially to blame. It was her job to protect her girlfriend. And she’d failed.

It upset her knowing how sad and abandoned Alison had felt last night.

Emily knew what it felt like to run away from feelings. She remembered the last time she’d been in a dive bar. She remembered what it was like to sit on a stool, trying to seem small…to blend in and hide.

* * *

She’d gone with Isaac, Nick, and Courtney on their last Christmas break before Emily had moved away. It was a few months before the altercation she’d had with Courtney in the locker room. They had still been on semi-civil terms, which was an oxymoron. Because they’d never really been civil.

Emily didn’t particularly _like_ spending Christmas with Isaac’s family, but their parents had been part of their church’s holiday dinner prep team, so she didn’t really have a choice.

The Christmas dinner was always chaotic, but tensions seemed extra high that afternoon. Even Courtney and Nick were stressed. They’d been sniping at one another all day. She remembered it vividly, because Courtney and Nick never fought.

Nick had blown up at her about something. Emily had been taking out the trash and had stumbled upon them arguing outside in the church alley.

She’d stopped when she heard their voices.

 _“You lied to me.”_ Nick had been staring at Courtney intensely, but he didn’t look angry.

He looked conflicted, like he was being pulled in opposite directions. His face was tight and tense, his jaw set and rigid. His shoulders were pulled back, his chest pushing out slightly. His hands were balled into fists. If Emily didn’t know him any better she would have assumed he was getting ready to hit her. But he’d never been that kind of guy.

 _“Come on, baby.”_ She’d hung all over him. She’d wrapped her arms around his neck and batted her eyelashes at him, giving him a sulky sultry look. She’d pushed her lips out in a pout in an attempt to seduce him. _“I don’t want to fight with you. Let me take care of you…”_

She’d rubbed her palm against the front of his pants, playing with his zipper. A gust of heated air had come out of his mouth as she undid the button of his jeans and slipped her hand inside. He’d muffled out a groan and bucked into her palm, closing his eyes and biting his lip.

Emily had quickly turned around to go back into the church, but then she heard him tell her no.

 _“That’s not going to work this time.”_ He had pushed her away. He’d reached down and zipped his jeans up.

That had struck Emily as odd. She’d never known any horny teenage boy to turn away something like that, especially not Nick. He was obsessed with sex. And not just with anyone. He was obsessed with sex with _Courtney_. He never said no.

 _“Nicky…”_ She’d whined in a pleading tone.

 _“Just don’t, okay?”_ He’d tried to distance himself from her, but she shadowed his motions and reached out to touch his face.

 _“It’s not that big of a deal.”_ She traced her fingertips against his chiseled jaw.

He’d pushed her hand away and looked at her like she was insane. Then he’d reached up and brushed his fingers through his hair, puffing out a thoughtful breath.

 _“I need a cigarette,”_ he’d reached into his pocket and pulled out his tobacco pack.

 _“Don’t be like this.”_ Courtney pushed back childishly.

 _“Courtney, just go back inside. Give me some goddamn time to think.”_ He’d growled.

Emily had never heard Nick use such an aggressive tone of voice before, especially not on church grounds. She had been a little taken aback by it.

Courtney had also clearly been intimidated, because she didn’t argue with him. She’d stormed off, her heels clacking against the pavement. Emily heard her huffing and puffing and bitching as she went back inside the building.

Nick disappeared in the opposite direction…the direction Emily needed to go to throw her garbage haul away.

She’d run into him out by the dumpster. He’d been puffing furiously on a menthol cigarette. He was leaning against the structure, his leg bouncing up and down against the ground. A nervous tic. Nick had never been a nervous person.

She’d waved to him as she tossed the trash in the bin. He’d lifted his chin and jutted it out to acknowledge her with a silent hello. She’d turned to walk away, but paused. She was curious about the fight.

 _“You okay?”_ she’d asked.

He’d taken a vigorous puff, inhaling the smoke deeply before blowing it out into the air. He’d watched the lingering fog, leaving a quiet pause in the air as he considered what he wanted to say.

 _“Let me ask you something.”_ He’d peered at her curiously. _“Are all women completely insane?”_

_“I mean…not ALL women, but we are pre-dispositioned to have a LITTLE bit of crazy hardwired into our genes. It’s a sliding scale. We range from ‘throwing an empty toilet paper roll at your head’ mad to ‘blowing up your car’ insanity.”_

_“So…that’s a yes?”_

_“Generalizations aren’t really my thing.”_ She’d shrugged. _“I know some guys who are dickheads. So…are all men dickheads?”_

He’d laughed and tapped on his cigarette, sending ashes to the ground.

_“Fair enough.”_

There was a quiet pause.

 _“Did something happen with Courtney?”_ She’d pressed him for information.

Nick gave her a precarious look. She saw something flash in his eyes, and he looked like he was about to say something. But then he shook his head.

 _“Nah. She’s just…”_ The look of tension on his face was palpable. _“She’s just Courtney.”_ He’d sighed, his face softening. There was a plethora of emotions in his eyes that Emily didn’t understand. Was that what love did to someone? Did it completely override all things logical? _“I knew what I was getting into with her.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

Nick didn’t respond at first. He’d just stared at the cigarette in his hand. After a few seconds he pressed the end with the burning embers against the dumpster. Then he’d tossed the remains on the ground and squashed the butt.

He’d reached into his cigarette packet and pulled another one out. He’d pulled his lighter out of the packet. He played with it for a few seconds. Then he’d shoved both the cigarette and the lighter back into the carton. He stared at the cigarettes in the carton.

_“You know that story they told us at Bible camp about the frog and the scorpion? About how the scorpion wanted to get across a river, but he couldn’t swim…so he asked the frog to carry him?”_

_“Yeah.”_ Emily had glanced towards the picnic bench where she’d first introduced herself to Isaac. She wondered what had happened to their frog. Had it met a scorpion? _“What does that have to do with Courtney, though?”_

_“The frog was hesitant because he was afraid the scorpion would sting him. But the scorpion assured the frog he wouldn’t do that, because then they’d both drown. So the frog agreed to carry him across. But when they got halfway across the river the scorpion stung him. And as the frog was dying he asked the scorpion why he did it, knowing it would kill them both. You remember what the scorpion said?”_

_“That he was a self-centered asshole who only cared about his own needs, and to hell with everyone else...even the people helping him. Kind of like the government.”_

Nick laughed. A loud boisterous laugh that he’d sorely needed.

 _“Never change, Em. Your sarcasm is what keeps me alive.”_ He’d leaned back against the dumpster, his body posture relaxing a little bit.

_“That story was so jacked up, because the scorpion wouldn’t even own up to it. He just told the frog it was his nature. And so...what? You can’t change nature? You can’t fight it if you’re alive and sentient? That’s just stupid. People who hurt other people are just as bad as that shithead scorpion.”_

_“Yeah.”_ Nick nodded in agreement.

His newly chilled vibe made Emily suspect that he’d smoked a lot more than just a cigarette before she’d caught him. But he still seemed upset.

 _“So, did you get stung?”_ She’d leaned next to him on the dumpster.

 _“She’s Courtney.”_ He’d replied, his gaze fixed, lost in thought. _“I can’t be mad.”_ There was a strange timid look in his eyes. It wasn’t consistent with his anger. _“She’s my girl. No matter what kind of crazy shit she pulls. I’m in it with her, you know? For the long game.”_

Emily rested her finger against the metal dumpster. She nibbled on the inside of her lip.

_“Do you love her?”_

Nick looked over at her, a stoic expression on his face.

_“That’s a loaded question, don’t you think? Do you love Isaac?”_

_“Of course.”_ She just wasn’t in love with him.

Nick didn’t look like he believed her response, but he didn’t say anything more about it. There was no telling what poisonous things Courtney was telling him about her and Isaac.

 _“We’re all so young. It’s hard to know where we’ll be in a few months...or years,”_ Emily admitted.

_“I already know I’ll be with Courtney. Til Death Do Us Part.”_

_“Are you two thinking about marriage?”_

Nick shrugged. Emily waited for him to say more, but he’d retreated in the comfortable silence. She’d left him alone with his thoughts. She could tell he wanted some time to himself.

Courtney saw her walk into the church and shot a suspicious glance at her, but Emily just brushed her off.

When Nick came back in he didn’t say much. He’d barely spoken to Courtney the rest of the day.

They’d made up that night though.

Isaac and Emily had gone to a bar outside of town to see one of Emily’s favorite bands. Isaac didn’t know that Emily had a crush on the lead singer of the all-girl group. He just knew she liked the band. He’d surprised her with tickets, and Emily couldn’t say no.

Courtney had found out they were going and claimed she loved the band, too. She pressured her brother into getting her tickets, too. She threatened to tell their parents that he was going to a bar if he didn’t comply with her wishes.

Emily had ended up having a couple of drinks, and things had become a bit hazy. Her memories of that night were still a bit of a blur.

But as she watched Caleb chatting with the bartender, bits and pieces of that evening started to come back to her. Memories she’d forgotten…or purposefully buried. She wasn’t sure which.

She remembered dancing with Isaac. She remembered being so close to him that she could smell the musty sweat on his body. The scent of his body spray was so powerful that it made her nauseous.

He had taken her hands and they were swaying to the music. He’d pressed his body against hers and when she felt their lower halves connect she was certain that the alcohol was going to come back up. She’d felt a slight bulge in his pants. He’d sheepishly apologized. He couldn’t help it. Emily was very understanding. She managed to make it through two songs. Then she told him that the alcohol wasn’t sitting right. She wanted to sit down.

He’d taken her to a table and then rushed off to get her some water. While she was waiting she noticed a couple in the dark corner behind the table. Their bodies were writhing to the beat the band was playing on stage. She saw a blur of hands on asses, large fingers slipping underneath a skirt, and then a smaller more feminine hand reaching for the boy’s belt. She’d unhooked it and the boys pants started to sag.

Emily thought she had to be imagining it, because surely no one was going to fuck out in the open in the middle of a band’s set in a bar full of people.

 _“Let me feel you,”_ she’d recognized Courtney’s voice immediately. She heard Nick mumble something in response.

Seconds later, the blonde peered over Nick’s shoulder, finding Emily’s line of sight. She had her hand on Nick, stroking him. She grinned wickedly at Emily.

Emily felt like hurling. She was sick of seeing the two of them go at it. It was like Courtney deliberately found her and _wanted_ her to watch. She’d noticed it happening more frequently since Courtney had tried to ‘baptize’ her in the school pool. She wondered if it was Courtney’s way of trying to punish her for fighting back. She regretted not punching her teeth out that day.

 _“Not yet.”_ Courtney had tickled his ear with her tongue.

Emily turned away. She heard Nick groan. There was a shuffling noise and then she heard the thumping against the wall. Courtney’s moans and Nick’s grunts were lost in the shuffle of the song. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the music instead. Because if she didn’t she was going to puke.

But a few minutes later she heard something that surprised her. Their groans had turned into a strange heated argument. Their words were muffled. When Emily turned around she saw that they had moved further away from the table. They were tucked away where no one could see them. The speakers over their heads were drowning out the conversation.

 _“_ … _really think this makes things okay?”_ Nick sounded furious.

 _“Can we just forget it? I just…”_ Courtney bit her lip and tried to pull him closer. She sounded unsatisfied. _“Please…”_

 _“No,”_ he’d moved away. He’d pulled his jeans up, tightening his buckle. _“I don’t know what you want from me, Court. I really don’t. You can’t just fuck this away.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because…”_ He’d lowered his voice. Emily couldn’t hear what he was saying. She could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation.

 _“_ … _you said…”_ Nick had raised his arms and flippantly threw them in the air. _“But you didn’t…”_

 _“I thought…”_ Courtney had a sharp edge in her voice, but her tone was too soft for Emily to make out what she was saying.

 _“So then…”_ He’d gestured between them and rattled off a bunch of things that the bass overshadowed, _“…what are we…”_ Emily saw his mouth moving and made out the words, _“our future!”_

More tension. More yelling. This time it was Courtney who threw her hands up in annoyance.

 _“_ … _don’t know!”_

Nick had turned away from her to try and gather his emotions. Emily had never seen him so unhinged. It bothered her. He shook his head. The muscles in his neck were bulging.

 _“_ … _what you were thinking…”_

Courtney had grabbed his arm. It almost looked like she felt remorse. Emily wasn’t aware she knew how to feel _anything_. But she looked legitimately scared.

 _“_ … _want to…”_ Courtney had gripped his bicep tightly, trying to draw him in with her eyes.

Her sex appeal always worked for her, but this time he’d just jerked away from her and shook his head. Emily was only able to make out one word in his response,

 _“_ … _responsible…”_

There was a subtle tender moment between them. Watching from afar, it made no sense. One minute there was passion…desire…embers burning brightly between them. Then there was a sudden icy chill.

After a few minutes the intensity between them died down. There was a common middle ground they’d seemed to find, a strange phenomenon between hot and cold that they’d mutually reached. It didn’t look like a break up. But it didn’t look like forgiveness either.

Nick had pulled away, but he didn’t look angry anymore. He looked hurt. He leaned over her. He’d gently cupped Courtney’s cheek and kissed her forehead. He’d whispered something to her and then walked off, mentioning something about a cigarette.

Courtney had crossed her arms stubbornly and watched him walk away. She’d straightened her blouse and pulled her skirt back down. She saw Emily looking at her, and her face flashed in a rage. She’d stormed towards the table.

 _“What are you looking at?”_ Courtney had hissed as she walked by the table. _“Enjoy the show, perv?”_

Emily hadn’t dignified it with a response. Courtney had rushed off in a haste. Emily hoped that she was leaving so she didn’t have to deal with her. She ran past Isaac. He’d glanced at her in confusion before continuing back towards the table.

 _“Sorry it took forever. There were a ton of people at the bar.”_ Isaac plopped down next to her. He held out a chilled glass of water. _“Feeling any better?”_

Emily had taken the water without a word and started chugging it. When she put the glass down he’d put his arm around her shoulder. She’d focused on the band, refusing to look at him, refusing to acknowledge that she was lying to him. Using him. Things had been so weird for her since she’d started dating him. She wanted to go back to what they’d had before.

She focused on the lead singer, who seemed to be crooning directly to her. The girl had a dark sexy look. Her blood red lipstick made her lips look plump and inviting. Her mascara made her deep blue eyes pop. She held the microphone with a delicate touch as she swayed to the music. Emily felt warm and fuzzy. She felt a flash of heat between her legs. She moved in the booth uncomfortably, trying not to be obvious about her burning desire building up...needing release.

It was a similar feeling she’d gotten the first night she’d met Maya. She’d been so bewitched by her. They’d ended up backstage in Maya’s tiny dressing room, Emily’s hands all over her body. Maya had been so confident and wasn’t afraid to take chances. Emily had been drawn to that. They might have actually ended up sleeping together then, but the rest of the band had interrupted them just as Maya was starting to take Emily’s shirt off.

The only thing Emily really remembered after that was how much she’d craved wanting to taste her again. She’d felt elated and sweaty and hot...and damp in places she’d never been damp before. They’d hung out with the band, but the only person Emily was paying attention to was Maya. Every time Emily had seen her smile at her she felt a blazing ball of tension in her stomach.

The girl on stage was giving her the same seductive grin that Maya had given her the night they met. And it was making her feel things that she’d never felt with her boyfriend.

 _“They’re good, right?”_ Isaac smiled, completely oblivious to the fact that Emily was making heart eyes at the girl on stage. Emily stiffened in her seat. _“I see why you like them.”_

Emily had to stifle a laugh. He had no idea why she liked them.

_“I really appreciate you getting the tickets. They must have been hard to get.”_

He’d tapped the edge of table to the beat of the drum. He seemed completely lost in the music.

_“I’d love for you to think of me as some kind of hero, but one of the guys I play with is the drummer’s cousin, so…not mission impossible.”_

He was so honest. He was _painfully_ honest.

 _“Sorry my sister crashed,”_ he’d added. _“What was she so pissed about anyway?”_

 _“I think she’s fighting with_ _Nick.”_

 _“About what?”_ He didn’t seem concerned, but he was interested.

_“Hell if I know.”_

She’d probably cheated on him. She was the type to do it. Their heated encounter had seemed more about aggression, control, and letting their feelings out than it had passion and love.

 _“She’s been kind of a nightmare at home lately.”_ Isaac’s nose twitched, which happened when he was trying to contain his emotions. _“The craziest things set her off. She slammed a stapler into my palm the other day.”_ He held his hand up to show Emily the healing punctures the staple had left in his skin.

 _“Jesus, Isaac,”_ she’d grabbed his hand to observe it. His palm was calloused from tossing the football so much. The two gashes left by the staple looked ugly. Courtney was such a fucking bitch. She traced her finger delicately against the gashes. _“Why do you put up with her doing this kind of shit to you?”_

He’d flinched. Isaac was fearless in a lot of ways. At school. In his social life. On the field. But when it came to his sister he was like a timid child. She made him regress. Because of the years of torture that she’d put him through, he was conditioned to believe that she was superior. It aggravated Emily. Because he deserved a better sister.

 _“The last time I tried to fight back she gave me a concussion.”_ He’d looked around the bar for his sister and Nick, but didn’t see either one of them. _“I’m kind of worried she’s going to do the same to Nick if she’s fighting with him. I know they’ve been a little rocky since he was accepted into NYU. Courtney is trying to talk him in to staying. But I didn’t think they were arguing about it.”_

 _“I’m surprised she’s not packing her bags to go with him.”_ That would have been a dream. To see her move so far away. And New York was fitting for her. Fame. Fashion. Cuisine. She was brazen and driven and very much built for the high energy city life. _“She’s eighteen. What’s stopping her?”_

_“My parents told her she has to stay in state for her first year of college next year unless she can get a swim scholarship. And she doesn’t have any offers yet.”_

_“I bet that went over well.”_

_“I believe the term ‘oppressive militant regime’ was used,”_ Isaac rolled his eyes.

Emily could only imagine the tantrums the girl threw at home. If her behavior in public was any indicator, she was complete terror at home.

The lead singer ended the song on a high note that drew the entire crowd’s attention. Emily watched as she gripped the mic stand and threw her head back and thrust her chest forward. After the guitar and drums slowed the beat she stood back up and then grinned at Emily and Isaac. She had a knowing smile on her face. Emily felt her cheeks getting hot. She glanced at Isaac, trying not to be conspicuous. Fortunately, he was texting one of his buddy’s, so he hadn’t seen the exchange.

After the band finished the set Emily didn’t have anything to distract herself from Isaac anymore. Her guilt was making her head throb. She felt like she needed a cold shower. She took another sip of water and then told him she needed to go to the bathroom.

In reality, she was running. She was trying to get her head on straight. All she could think about was how much the singer reminded her of Maya. And that just brought her right back to the fact that she didn’t love Isaac.

When she walked into the bathroom she saw Courtney standing in front of the mirror, furiously wiping away tears. Emily caught a glimpse of her reflection. Her face was bright red.

She paused as the door shut behind her. Courtney saw her in the mirror. She sneered as she spun around to face her. Her expression changed immediately. She was no longer sad and vulnerable. She was defensive and angry. Before Emily could ask if she was okay, Courtney launched into an attack.

 _“Were you spying on me back there?”_ she’d asked viciously.

Emily walked towards the sink, ignoring her hostility. She didn’t have it in her to deal with Courtney’s bullshit. She just wanted some peace and quiet.

 _“I came here for the band. Not for your third-rate drama.”_ She’d turned the faucet on to wash her hands.

 _“Are you following me?”_ Courtney scowled, shoving a tube of her lip gloss into her purse that was sitting on the edge of the sink.

 _“We’re in a small dive bar. This is a public restroom. No. I’m not following you,”_ she’d replied snottily. She shook her hands dry. _“If anything, YOU followed us here.”_

_“As if. You’re not the only one in town who likes good music.”_

_“What do you even know about the band?”_

_“I know what YOU like about them.”_ Courtney raised a conspicuous brow at her, taunting her. She ran her fingers along the edge of the sink with a smirk on her face. _“You have a thing for girls in bands, don’t you? A certain…affinity for pretty musicians. Real unfortunate that they have reputations for being so…flighty.”_

She was referring to Maya. Everything about Courtney’s response rubbed her the wrong way. Courtney was trying to rip open the healing wounds that were still fresh from losing her girlfriend. She’d never told Courtney they were involved, but that didn’t mean that Courtney didn’t know. She knew how to crush people with their vulnerabilities. She knew how to play on people’s insecurities.

It infuriated Emily. Courtney had no right to talk about Maya. Courtney had no right to make her brother bleed. She had no right to play with Nick’s heart. She had no right to behave like a complete unchecked maniac. The girl needed to be put in her place.

Emily felt a flush of heat from the mixture of the alcohol and her anger. She moved towards Courtney in a threatening manner, backing her against the wall. Courtney’s eyes widened. Her jaw went slack in shock. She could see a fire of fury blazing in Emily’s eyes. It was the same look she’d had on her face the day the brunette had pinned her to the mat beside the pool.

 _“You know what? Go to hell, Courtney.”_ She’d sneered at her, pushing her face dangerously close to Courtney’s face, the tension and intensity of her tone dripping with venom.

Emily could feel her muscles tightening, tensing. Her stomach was so tight that her abs were rock solid. Even if Courtney tried to hit her Emily was certain she wouldn’t feel a thing. She made a fist with one hand. Her entire body was practically vibrating. She was having to work very hard to keep her temper in check. It would have been so easy to knock her out with one punch.

Courtney was frozen in place. She felt a budding explosion of emotions paralyzing her. Emily had several inches on her in height. She was more stout and buff, too. She’d seen her arms in swim meets. She had a lot of muscle and a lot of stamina. She’d also seen what Emily was like when she was unhinged.

Courtney took several deep breaths. Their faces were close enough for the blonde to see the wild look in Emily’s eyes. She knew she was in dangerous territory, but she continued to provoke her anyway. She poked an accusatory finger into Emily’s face.

 _“This behavior is not very Christmas-y of you. What would Jesus think?”_ Courtney puffed her chest out and moved forward against Emily, challenging her.

Emily’s lips twitched angrily. Her jaw was clenched shut, her teeth showing. Everything Emily had suppressed was coming to the surface.

 _“I think if Jesus had the option of getting on the cross or spending a day with you he’d choose the cross.”_ Emily swatted her finger away and glared angrily at the smaller girl.

She was sick of Courtney lording her sexuality over her, quietly threatening her in the shadows. Ever since Courtney had tried to drown her the blonde had been dangling her on the line like some kind of cat toy. She batted her around for her pleasure, and Emily wasn’t going to take it anymore.

 _“We have to be in each other’s lives…and we have to be civil…for your brother’s sake. But that doesn’t mean I have to like you.”_ Emily’s words were like acid, burning and destructive.

 _“Good. Because I fucking hate you.”_ Courtney had a spark in her eyes. She was heaving out heavy breaths. Her chest was pressed against Emily’s, her arms dangling by her side. _“You’re a fucking fraud.”_

_“And you’re a psychopath. Everyone sees it. Even Nick is starting to see it. You’re chasing him away, you know.”_

Courtney recoiled as if Emily had slapped her. Emily stood her ground. She wanted Courtney to know that she could play on her level. She wanted her to know she could be as ruthless and hateful as she was.

 _“You have no idea what you’re talking about. Nick loves me.”_ Her jaw tensed. She snorted through her nose. Her voice was shaking.

 _“Is that why he keeps running away from you?”_ Emily questioned. It was a loaded question. Emily knew he had pushed for his space in the bar, but the bigger picture was that he was considering a move to New York City. Without her.

Emily’s blow landed. Courtney didn’t know how to retaliate. Her face twisted into a grimace. Her nose burned as tears sprang to her eyes. The brunette was getting under her skin.

 _“You have a mean streak in you, Emily Fields.”_ She’d hissed her name. _“Must be all that repression.”_

 _“Better than being a whore.”_ Emily bit back. She saw Courtney flinch again. _“Don’t start what you can’t finish. You keep popping off at the wrong people and eventually you’re going to end up all alone. And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself. You’re pathetic, Courtney.”_

_“And you think you’re so great? Little Miss Perfect Swim Anchor. How would your parents react if they knew your dirty little secrets? Then you’d be just as alone as I am.”_

_“Maybe.”_ Emily called her bluff. _“But at the end of the day, I’ll still have people who love me. At least I have a loving boyfriend. No one will ever love you. Your boyfriend can’t even stand to touch you...”_

Courtney had reached up with the speed and accuracy of a snake striking in the wild. Her palm made contact with Emily’s cheek, leaving an angry red mark in its wake. Her hit had left the feeling of pins and needles against Emily skin. Her cheek felt hot. There were black spots in her field of vision.

Emily unclenched her fist and slapped her back. The open-handed hit was so hard that it jerked the blonde’s neck sideways. Courtney gasped and drew her hand up towards her face, crying out in surprise. She stared at Emily, tears stinging her eyes. She cupped her cheek for a few seconds, feeling the heat that Emily’s hand had left there.

There was a shift in the air. The slap awoke something primal inside of Courtney. She let out a feral growl. She bared her teeth at the brunette and threw her palms against her shoulders, shoving her and knocking her off balance.

Emily hadn’t expected it to escalate as quickly as it did. She crashed into the sink, her hip taking the brunt of the impact. She felt the hit in her bone. She could already imagine the giant purple welt it was sure to leave on her skin.

Courtney grabbed her arm, her fingernails cutting into her skin. She reached up and threaded her fingers into Emily’s hair, digging her fingernails into her scalp and pulling her neck back at an angle. Emily yelped in surprise, feeling the tendrils of her hair being pulled taut. Emily reached up and tried to pry Courtney’s hand away, but the blonde whipped her arm up and grabbed her wrist.

Courtney spun Emily around, slamming her back against the wall. She kept her fingers tangled in Emily’s hair as she continued to yank her head back, letting out an animalistic growl. The surge of strength and power gave the smaller girl the rush of adrenaline she needed. She knew she had control. She was the one leading. Emily was at her mercy. She tightened her grip on Emily’s hair, moving her head with ease.

But then something changed in the motion. She leaned towards her exposed neck. She could see the sweat glistening on Emily’s skin. She could smell her brother’s body spray mixed with Emily’s lotion. And she hated it.

She tilted her head and whispered in her ear,

_“You’re such a bitch.”_

She moved her forehead down into the crook of Emily’s exposed neck and took a deep breath. Her nose brushed against her earlobe.

_“I hate you.”_

She let go of Emily’s wrist and put her palm against the other side of Emily’s neck. Then she pressed her lips against the smooth skin on Emily’s neck. She could taste the salty mixture of her perspiration. She tasted so pure. And clean. She was like a forbidden fruit. Beautiful. Dangerous. She slid her tongue against her skin and gently nipped at her neck.

Emily froze underneath her touch. Her shoulders were tense. Her hands were up in the air by Courtney’s sides. Her face was twisted in confusion.

Seconds later, Emily’s hands were on Courtney’s hips, trying to move her back. But Courtney held her position, peppering angry kisses against her neck.

She lifted Emily’s thigh and slammed her against the wall even harder, hitching Emily’s leg around her leg. She suckled against the skin near her ear. She bit down against her earlobe, dragging her teeth across her flesh. She slowly moved down towards her cleavage, her lips leaving a trail of heat behind them.

Emily’s alcohol-infused brain couldn’t comprehend what was happening. It was nothing like their first little innocent peck in the locker room. It was raw and gritty and dirty. And even though Emily hated it, her body was reacting to it. She felt her thighs twitching. She felt a heat pooling in her stomach, slowly gravitating down into her pelvis. She felt her insides contracting and pulsing. It was like a fire ravaging out of control. She desperately wanted to put it out.

She’d come into the bathroom to cool off after basically spending the entire evening making sex-eyes at the beautiful singer on stage. Her body had been prime for the taking. She hadn’t been expecting Courtney to corner her and draw every sexual feeling she was suppressing to the surface.

Courtney pulled back and peered into her soft brown eyes. They were wide and expressive, but there was a darkness in them. There was a strength behind them that was intoxicating. Courtney could practically smell her arousal.

_“Who’s pathetic now?”_

Courtney smirked at her and mashed her lips against Emily’s. The blonde’s lips were smooth and supple, but they tasted like poison. Courtney released her death grip on Emily’s hair. She replaced it with a more delicate touch, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her fingertips were almost gentle. Her fingernail grazed Emily’s neck, sending a chill down her spine.

Courtney’s other hand was on the waistband of her jeans, but Emily didn’t realize it until she felt her warm sweaty palm against her stomach. Her fingers were small and nimble compared to Isaac’s. It reminded her of how much she missed a woman’s touch. Maya’s touch. She felt a crack in her heart. The pain of her loss still hadn’t gotten any easier.

The kiss was so deep…so invigorating that for a moment Emily forgot that it was Courtney. The alcohol in her system made her feel hot. She relaxed into it. Courtney’s tongue prodded against her lips and she parted her mouth, gasping in surprise. Courtney took advantage of her hesitation, her tongue exploring Emily’s mouth, her lips drawing every last drop of her oxygen away from her lungs. She was like a siren luring Emily to her demise. Her lips were commanding, her tongue harsh and sharp in its exploration.

Courtney nudged Emily’s legs open and pushed her thigh in between them, hard. Emily felt a shockwave in her body. Her chest seized when she felt the blonde’s motions. She knew she needed to stop it, but she didn’t know how. She groaned in protest, but Courtney just pushed harder.

Emily snapped out of it when she felt Courtney’s hand slipping below her waistband and into her underwear. She put her palms against Courtney’s shoulders and pushed her away.

When Courtney pulled away they both gasped for breath. Courtney grinned and bit her lip. Her face was just centimeters from Emily’s. Emily could see the cold grey flecks in her eyes. There was a devilish glint in her expression. Like Courtney, her gaze was sharp and terrifying.

She grabbed Emily’s hand and brought her fingers up to her mouth, taking her index and middle finger in between her lips and pulling them into her mouth. Her tongue swirled against Emily’s fingers. She released them with an audible _pop_ and then moved Emily’s hand underneath her skirt.

 _“You know you want to touch me.”_ She’d breathed against Emily’s face softly as she pushed Emily’s fingertips in between her legs, her grip like a vice, ready to guide her every motion.

The second Emily realized that Courtney wasn’t wearing any underwear she knew things had gone way too far. Less than half an hour ago Emily had heard her and Nick going at it. She could still smell Nick’s aftershave on her. When her fingertips grazed her all she could think about was the fact that she’d _just_ had sex with Nick. Emily wasn’t sure what was going on with them, but Courtney had clearly come to the bar with an agenda.

Courtney’s eyes were burning through Emily’s. The intensity of her gaze was like nothing Emily had ever seen before. It was different than the day she’d first kissed her. She didn’t like it. Everything about the interaction felt wrong.

 _“Court…Courtney, we’re drunk.”_ Emily pulled her hand away, rejecting her advances.

She yanked away from Courtney’s hold on her. Then she backed away from her, panting heavily. She reached up with her trembling hands and ran her fingers through her tangled locks. Her head was still stinging from where Courtney had been pulling her hair. She was so physically repulsed that she thought she might throw up.

A look of rage washed across Courtney’s face. Her eyes darkened. Her demeanor changed. It was like a spark dulling, a light going out inside of her. She had a tight-lipped smirk on her face. She licked her lips and then narrowed her eyes. Her lips curled up in a diabolical smile. Her expression went from lust to utter shock.

 _“What the fuck was that?”_ Courtney hissed. _“You think I’m in to you like THAT? You’re disgusting. A disease...”_

 _“What?”_ Emily heaved in exasperation. _“This…what…what kind of game are you playing here?”_

Courtney had smiled innocently, but her eyes were frigid and detached. She blinked, almost as if she was calculating her every facial expression.

_“What would Nick and Isaac think if they knew you’d tried to assault me?”_

_“Assault you? I didn’t...”_

Courtney reached out and grasped Emily’s chin roughly with her fingertips.

 _“The next time you think about crossing me, I want you to remember this.”_ She’d squeezed Emily’s jaw. _“I. Own. You.”_

Emily reached up and shoved her.

_“The hell you do…”_

Before Emily could fly into a rant the door had swung open and two drunk girls came in, their arms intertwined. They were laughing loudly about something as they separated and stumbled into two separate stalls.

Courtney had calmly and casually walked over to the sink. She’d washed her hands, reapplied her lipstick, and then walked out like nothing had happened, leaving Emily standing in the middle of the bathroom, completely stunned.

The interaction had reminded her of how terrible she was being to Isaac. And to herself. She was lying to everyone. She missed Maya. Her heart ached for her girlfriend. Maya had been the first girl she ever loved. Sometimes she wished she could go back…that she could do things differently. If she had just told the truth about Maya maybe she wouldn’t be going through hell with Courtney. She mourned for the happiness she’d lost.

After the two drunk girls left Emily threw cold water on her face and sat in a bathroom stall for nearly fifteen minutes before she went back out to the bar to find Isaac. She told him she wasn’t feeling well. He’d offered to take her home.

Courtney had smirked at her from the dance floor as she watched them leave, her body pressed firmly against Nick’s body, grinding against him, her skirt riding up against his jeans. Her face was frozen in ecstasy. Nick had his hands firmly against her back. Whatever tension there had been between the two of them was lost in the beat of the song.

* * *

“Emily?”

Emily blinked. Caleb was standing in front of her. He had a tight frown on his face. He looked concerned.

“Hmm?” Emily snapped back to reality.

“Everything okay?”

“Sorry. Zoned out.” Emily admitted. The memory had shaken her, but she knew they were on a mission. “Pregnancy brain.”

“Right…” He didn’t seem to buy her excuse, but he didn’t pry.

“Did he recognize the car?” Emily asked hopefully.

“No. And they don’t have cameras in the parking lot. He says the manager is too cheap for it, and that it ‘discourages patron activity’.” Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, who cares about safety and security…as long as some jackass keeps his right to get drunk and act like a fool?” Emily muttered.

She was pissed off that someone had slipped in under the radar and drugged her girlfriend. She was pissed off that people could easily do that every day because businesses valued their bottom lines more than their customers.

“Speaking of jackasses, do you want to check out the apartment Wilden went to? It’s only a few miles from here.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded.

Her phone buzzed and she looked at it. It was a text from her mom.

**_Where are you? Call me. -Mom_ **

Emily found it kind of cute that her mother felt the need to sign her name. Parents were a strange kind of quirky sometimes.

“We need to make it quick. My parents are spazzing about me coming home.” Emily sent her a text back.

**_Sorry. Bad reception. Will be home soon._ **

The message wouldn’t go through. An error message flashed on the screen. She tried it again when they got out to the car. It sent.

They hopped in the car. Emily stared at the items in the bag. Ordinary items that probably had no meaning, but they reminded her of a certain bar back in Texas.

Caleb was chatting about tech-related things while Emily nodded along silently. He noticed that she was unusually quiet, but he didn’t say anything about it.

They parked a block away from the apartment complex, not wanting to be seen too close to the building. Emily still hadn’t said anything. She was staring at her hands, deep in thought.

Caleb faced her with a quizzical look on his face. Emily looked up when she realized the car wasn’t moving anymore.

He’d noticed she was upset. Of course he’d noticed. Caleb had repressed a lot in his life, too. He knew when someone else was doing it.

“Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the trademark stoicism more than anyone, but…are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

Emily paused in thought before she answered.

“I wasn’t a very good girlfriend,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“To…Alison?” His brow crinkled in a way that only Caleb’s brow crinkled.

“Before Alison,” she sighed. “I hid my relationship with my first girlfriend. And then I used Isaac in every way possible. I lied to everyone about who I really am. I lied to the people I loved the most.”

Caleb quietly nodded in understanding. Emily liked that about him…that he took everything in instead of just reacting impulsively. Alison would have told her she was being ridiculous. But Alison loved her in a way that made her faults invisible.

“You were going through a lot,” Caleb replied. “You know, humans are a complex species. We’re the only species that dwells on our mistakes. You look at animals and they don’t feel regret. Lions don’t apologize to antelopes after nature does its thing. They have to survive somehow. Wasps don’t regret stinging us, because they’re just protecting themselves.”

“And because wasps are assholes.” Emily added with a laugh.

“Facts.” Caleb nodded. “I’m just saying that survival and protection are ingrained in us. And it’s fine to look back, but you shouldn’t dwell on it. It’s harder to forgive ourselves for the things we feel like we screwed up, because we are our own worst critics.”

“I guess.”

“I did a lot of shady shit in my childhood. And even now. But I didn’t do it maliciously. And I know you didn’t either. We did it to survive…in different ways.”

He took a thoughtful breath. He pursed his lips together.

“You did what you had to do to get by. Sometimes lines get blurred when that happens. I mean, I can’t pretend I know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I know what it’s like to be…overwhelmed. I know what it feels like to just want to hide and blend in. That’s all I ever did in my group homes. But we wouldn’t be here today…with the women we love…if we didn’t make the choices that we made then. All we can do is try to survive. Because you can’t really live unless you know how to survive.”

“Didn’t know you were a philosopher.” Emily smiled.

“Not a philosopher. Just a Maya Angelou fan. _‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive…and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style’_. For me, Hanna provides the style, of course.”

“Of course.” Emily laughed.

She was secretly impressed that Caleb was into Maya Angelou. She made a mental note to tell Hanna she’d better marry him.

“Come on. Let’s get back to the mission.” He reached for the door handle. “Hanna says you’ve got some packing to do for a place of your own.”

“Yeah. Keeping up with the changing times. Any Maya Angelou quotes for that?” she asked hopefully.

“Not Maya Angelou, but _‘Viva La Vie Boheme’_.” He raised a fist and pumped it.

“Hanna made you watch RENT?” Emily guessed.

“Hanna made me watch RENT.” Caleb nodded with a laugh.

They walked to the apartment complex. Had they arrived only three minutes earlier they would have seen the grey car that Alison and Hanna had seen pulling away from the warehouse. The same car on the red light camera that Caleb had pulled up.

They explored the building, inside and out. They pretended to be a college couple looking for a place to live off-campus. When the manager disappeared to get some paperwork Caleb snatched a copy of the tenant list. They didn’t recognize any of the names on it.

Once they were finished investigating the building they went back to the car. As they were climbing in, Emily’s phone chimed. It was her mom again. She picked up.

“Hey, mom.”

“Emily, I’ve been…” She cut out, “…call you…” Emily held the phone out away from her ear and saw that she still had low coverage. She could barely hear her mom talking, “My…this morning…”

“You’re breaking up.” Emily shoved her finger in her ear and tried to listen more closely.

“I…can’t…can you hear me?” She started to cut out again, “…call from…church…” There was a lot of static, but then Emily heard, “Washington…”

“Mom, I can’t hear you.” Emily pulled her phone away from her ear again. “I’m on my way home…”

Before either one of them could say anything else, the call dropped. She put her phone away. She didn’t think that the call was urgent. She had no way of knowing what was awaiting her at home.

She talked about their investigation strategy with Caleb on the way home. He was going to look into the tenant list and see if anything came up.

When he dropped her off Emily was feeling a little bit better knowing that they were on the right track. She wasn’t expecting for her world to come crumbling down when she walked through the front door.

Her mother met her in the foyer. She looked frazzled.

“Hey, I’ve been trying to call you.”

“Sorry, it’s been kind of a crazy morning. What’s up?” Emily put her things down.

“Why don’t you come sit down?” Her mother motioned towards the living room.

Her face was rigid. She swayed unevenly on her feet as she clasped and then unclasped her hands. Emily looked into her wide eyes and she felt a heavy pit in her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Emily’s heart fluttered in a panic. “Is it dad? Is he okay?”

If he’d had another episode with his heart Emily wasn’t sure she’d survive it.

“Your father is fine.” Her mom gently took her arm and tried to direct her towards the couch.

Emily jerked away from her. Her heart started to race. She had only seen her mother look this distressed after her grandmother died.

“Mom…just tell me.” Emily’s voice was shaking.

“I got a call this morning…from Pastor Ted.”

“Texas Pastor Ted?” Emily asked in confusion.

“I still talk to him from time to time…for guidance. When he called this morning I just thought it was a routine check in, but it wasn’t. Something…happened.” She shifted on her feet nervously.

“Is it Isaac?” Emily suddenly felt faint. Who else would he have been calling about? “Oh my God. Did something happen to him?”

“Em…it’s…” Her mother bit her lip, “It’s Maya.”

There was a weird swirling vortex of darkness in Emily’s field of vision.

 _Maya_.

Maya. Her first real love. Maya. The girl who had disappeared. Maya. Someone who still had a piece of her heart, and always would.

Emily blinked several times. She felt dizzy. She moved towards the living room, now understanding why her mother wanted her to sit down. She heard a loud panicky echo of noises and she realized she was hyperventilating. Her mom reached for her, helping her over to the couch.

Emily couldn’t breathe. She felt like she was underwater. She was back in the gym in Texas and Courtney was drowning her. She couldn’t hear anything. She couldn’t see anything. But she could feel her mother helping her sit on the couch.

“Emmy, breathe.” Pam put her hand against the side of Emily’s neck to try and give her a focal point. “Look at me. Just breathe. Don’t panic. It’s not good for you…or the baby.”

Pam touched the side of her baby bump as she coached her to breathe in and out. And suddenly, her daughter was all Emily could focus on. She put her hand against her stomach and closed her eyes. She imagined her sweet smiling little girl. She imagined her curious eyes. She took deep breaths. She could feel her stomach rising and falling underneath her palm.

_It’s going to be okay, sweetheart._

The moment she thought it, her mother said it aloud to her.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. Keep breathing,” her mother encouraged.

Emily nodded vigorously, trying to signal that she was okay. She couldn’t form the words to talk.

“How…” Emily’s mouth felt dry. She swallowed a knot in her throat. “Is she…what happened?”

“Ted still talks to Maya’s mom about her…” Her mom wasn’t sure how to put it, “…progress. Her addiction issues…”

“She’s not an addict.” Emily looked at her in confusion. Nothing about this made sense.

“She’s in the hospital because she OD’d.” Pam softly broke it to her. “She’s on a vent, Em. They don’t…” She sighed. She hated seeing her daughter in pain. “They don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

“What?” Emily’s throat felt like it was closing up.

“Pastor Ted said that he thought you might want to know, since you two were close. He’s been talking to her mom. They live in DC…”

Emily’s stomach dropped. Maya had only been two hours away this entire time. Of course, two hours felt like an eternity now that she knew Maya might die. There might as well have been an entire ocean between them.

Everything that Emily had been holding in came pouring out of her. The fact that she hadn’t been able to protect Alison. The fact that Maya was in a coma. The fact that someone was making her life a living hell. She couldn’t protect any of them. She couldn’t even protect her baby. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do.

Her mom was talking to her, trying to comfort her, but Emily couldn’t hear what she was saying. She felt like she was going to pass out. Her mom made her lay down. She disappeared to get a cool cloth to put against her head.

Violent tremors rocked her body. Emily didn’t understand why until she realized she was crying. Pam stroked her face and comforted her the way she used to when she was little.

After a while, Emily started to get her bearings back. She told her mom she wanted some privacy. It was hard for Pam to let her go, because she didn’t want her to be alone. But she helped her to her room.

Emily reached for her phone the second she closed the door. She was going to text Alison, but a message stopped her in her tracks. Attached to the unknown number was a link to a photo. It loaded automatically.

The picture popped on screen. It was a shot of Maya’s hand. Emily recognized it because of the tiny infinity tattoo she had on her wrist. There was something in the palm of her hand. Pills and a syringe.

**_You insisted on dragging people into this. So I DRUG some people, too._ **

The message flashed across her screen for five seconds before it disappeared. The photo disappeared shortly after. It was like the dark web version of Snapchat.

She dropped her phone. She fell back against her door and slipped down to the floor. This was her fault. Maya was going to die, and it was her fucking fault. She threw her head back to try and fight the tears.

She wasn’t in control of her faculties, but she had enough sense to reach for her phone and text Alison.

**_I need you._ **

Alison panicked when she got the text. She could tell by the tone of it that something was wrong. She was terrified that something had happened to her...that she was hurt...that something had happened to the baby. Her mind spiraled into the darkest scenarios imaginable. She tried to call her, but Emily didn’t pick up.

It only took her ten minutes to get to Emily’s house. When Pam met her at the door with a tear-stained face Alison felt like she was going to faint. Her stomach lurched. She had to fight a bout of nausea.

“Is she okay? Is the baby...” She was out of breath and on the verge of crying. If she lost the baby Alison wasn’t sure what she’d do.

“The baby is fine,” Pam said. “Emily is okay, but something happened to one of her friends...”

Pam explained what was going on and Alison made a beeline for Emily’s room. She found Emily sitting up against the wall next to her door, hugging her knees and rocking gently.

“Hey, Em, your mom told me about Maya. I…”

When she walked in Emily looked up. Her face was stricken with tears. Her cheeks were red and splotchy. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot. Her nose was bright red.

Alison had never seen Emily cry before. She didn’t know what to do. She froze at first. But then she remembered all the times that Emily had taken her into her arms and comforted her. She thought about what Hanna had said about being there for her.

“Oh…sweetie…” She fell to her knees in front of her.

“I can’t stop crying.” Emily huffed, her voice uneven and raspy. “I don’t know why.”

Alison knew why. Because Maya had meant something to her. She wanted to hate the girl, but she couldn’t. She thought about how bratty she’d acted out of petty jealousy since they’d started dating. And she realized it was a terrible look on her. Her eyes were starting to open in ways they never had before. She could understand...she could _feel_ how Emily felt. Because she knew she’d be devastated if something happened to Emily.

“It’s okay. She was…special to you. I understand.” Normally, it bothered Alison when she thought about Emily’s past relationships. But all she could focus on was Emily’s pain.

It was one of the most unbearable things that Alison had ever experienced. Emily had always been brave and strong and unbreakable. Sometimes she forgot that Emily had pain, too. She had sensed that Emily was internalizing all of her stress. She knew that sooner or later something was going to crack her foundation, but she’d never dreamed it would be something so drastic.

She could see Emily’s entire body constricting in an unspoken emotional agony. There was a turmoil in her eyes that Alison had never seen before. Alison could see every little pronounced line of tension on her face.

Emily lowered her chin and clenched her eyes shut, her face twisting into a pained grimace. She felt a jabbing sensation in her stomach. She whimpered out a groan and reached for her belly, placing her palm flat against it. She huffed out a strained cry.

Alison raised her brows in alarm, putting her hand on top of Emily’s. She put her other palm against Emily’s cheek. She searched her eyes desperately, worried that something might be wrong with the baby.

“Hey, just take it easy.” Alison’s face softened, her fingers stroking her face tenderly. “Do we need to go to the hospital? Is she okay?”

Emily knew the baby was fine. She was still getting used to the movements and the discomfort that came with the pregnancy. It seemed worse when she was having high energy mood swings. She knew that her daughter could sense her pain. She’d felt it before. It was her body’s natural way of reacting. The connection to her child was something more powerful than she’d ever felt before.

“She doesn’t like it when I’m upset,” Emily said softly.

“That makes two of us.”

Emily softly started sobbing again. Alison cupped her cheeks and gently pulled her face forward. She kissed her tenderly, trying to help ease the pain. She could taste the salt from Emily’s tears.

Alison’s lips were warm and comforting, a safe place, a place where she felt at home. She relaxed into the kiss. She reached up and laid her hand against Alison’s cheek.

When they pulled away, Alison kept her palms against Emily’s face. She kept her gaze fixed on Emily’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Em.” Alison pushed her forehead against the brunette’s. “I’m so sorry.”

She meant it in more than one sense. She was sorry for what had happened to Maya. But she was also sorry for all the snide comments and the bratty selfish behavior. She was sorry for not seeing how much Emily needed her before now. She was sorry that she’d been so selfish with Emily’s love...that she’d taken her for granted and lost sight of the fact that she had something beautiful in the brunette.

She couldn’t go back and fix her mistakes. But she could be there for her now. And that’s what she intended to do.

“I’ve got you, sweetie. I’m here.”

Emily nodded and pulled Alison into her body, needing to feel her embrace. Alison held her close, letting the torrent of her tears drench her shirt. Emily’s anguish was so prominent that Alison could feel her silent screams. She was slowly suffocating.

Alison knew she couldn’t do anything to take her pain away. All she could do was be there, just like Emily had been there for her. Alison pulled her into her arms, and she let Emily cry. She wrapped her arms around her and stroked the back of her head in an attempt to calm the noise in her head.

She felt every last ounce of her agony.

It was staggering.


	23. She's Got A Way About Her

* * *

**Chapter 23:**

**She’s Got A Way About Her**

Alison stayed with Emily all day. She had been more-or-less catatonic since she’d gotten the news about Maya. Alison had never seen her fall apart before. It was hard to watch.

Emily turned into a shell of herself. It scared Alison, but she didn’t have the liberty of telling her that. She didn’t want to make it worse. If she had learned anything from Emily, it was how to care for someone.

Emily went from completely distraught to utterly numb and vacant. There had been several times that Alison thought they were over the worst of it, but just as soon as Emily had calmed down another crying jag would come out of nowhere. Sometimes she sobbed. Sometimes she apologized because she couldn’t stop it.

Emily was exhausted by that night. Even after the sun had set Alison refused to leave. To her surprise, Emily’s parents didn’t object to her staying over.

The brunette hadn’t said a word in over an hour. She’d been laying in her bed, staring at the wall. Alison had laid with her, but Emily seemed to be looking past her. Alison knew Emily felt her presence, because any time she got up to go to the restroom or to do anything else, Emily would reach for her hand and grip it tightly. It was a subtle, _“don’t leave me.”_

Emily’s parents checked in on them several times to make sure they didn’t need anything. Her mother hovered. Her dad paced. They were worried about her stress levels. They didn’t want her to go into premature labor.

Around nine Pam popped her head in the room. She’d offered the girls some hot tea. Emily didn’t say anything, but Alison told her she thought it would help. Ultimately, she knew it would help Emily _and_ her mother. The tea would soothe Emily. And making the tea would keep her mother busy.

The silence was becoming intolerable. All Alison could hear was the constant humming of the ceiling fan. It was starting to get on her nerves. It only exacerbated the quiet shallow breaths that Emily was taking. It pissed Alison off that Emily was in pain. It pissed her off that she couldn’t do anything about it.

She heard Emily draw in a jagged breath, and she prepared for another fit of tears. Instead Emily just heaved out a sigh. Her lips started to tremble. She reached between their bodies and grasped Alison’s hand, pulling it close to her body.

Alison felt a wave of emotions. Emily’s pain was her pain. Alison lifted her other hand and gently touched Emily’s cheek. She tried to get Emily to focus on her, but Emily’s mind was swimming in grief. Alison had never felt so helpless.

“Em, baby…I don’t know how to make this better. Please…tell me what to do.” Alison begged.

Her soft brown eyes met Alison’s gaze, but she didn’t say anything.

“Emily…talk to me. _Please_. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Emily inched closer to her. Alison could practically taste her tears. Emily silently reached up and caressed Alison’s jaw. She moved forward and their lips met. After a few seconds Emily pulled back. Alison reached up to wipe away her tears.

“Stay,” Emily said softly, her voice scratchy and hoarse from crying.

“What?”

“Just stay with me. I need you. So please…just stay.” She put her hand on Alison’s hip.

“Wild horses couldn’t pull me away from you.” Alison kissed her again. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Emily nodded weakly. She looked so weary. Her eyes were swollen and puffy.

“This may be a stupid question, but how are you?” Alison brushed her fingers against Emily’s cheek and threaded them through her hair.

“Like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and shredded it and then put it back inside of me in pieces.” Emily closed her eyes, grimacing in an invisible insurmountable amount of pain.

She opened her eyes, tears leaking from them. But she was too exhausted to cry.

“It’s weird…talking to you about it, because she’s my ex. But she was a huge part of my life. And I think about her lying there…helpless, and I’m right back in that frat house. I’m taken right back to the night we were drugged. And I couldn’t help her this time.” Emily sniffled. “I’m sorry. This is probably making you uncomfortable.”

Alison understood Emily’s feelings far more than the brunette realized. Because she’d feel the same way if something happened to Emily.

“Not at all.” Alison shook her head. “Emily, I have been…” She furrowed her brows in thought, “…selfish. With you. With your love.”

Her response surprised Emily.

“What are you talking about?”

“All this time we’ve been together I’ve been a bitch about _anyone_ looking at you or spending time with you. I got so lost in this idea that it’s you and me...that it’s _us._ I forgot that you’re your own person. I don’t…I don’t _own_ you. That’s a hard concept for me. Because I feel super protective of you…of both of you.” She touched her belly. It elicited a sweet soulful expression from Emily. “And it scares me to think about losing that.”

She hadn’t meant to blurt it out. It was the worst possible time to be talking about herself and her feelings, but she couldn’t stop thinking about why she’d gone to the bar after she’d snapped at Emily for being with Sabrina. She couldn’t stop thinking about her conversation with Hanna about how she was pushing too hard and trying to shape them into something they weren’t.

“God, it makes me such an asshole for talking about this…with what you’re going through with Maya…”

“Ali…” For the first time since Alison had gotten there, Emily smiled. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“I know that. Rationally, I _know_ that. But I just…I act impulsively sometimes and I don’t know how to stop it.”

“That impulsive nature is why you’re here right now. It’s why you dropped everything to come when I called.”

“You do the same for me.” Alison replied softly. She rubbed Emily’s arm. There was a beat of silence. “I’m so sorry about Maya.”

She saw the pain register on her face and she regretted bringing it up. Because maybe, for a fraction of a second, Emily _hadn’t_ been thinking about her ex-girlfriend fighting for her life in an ICU bed.

“I feel so guilty.” Emily admitted.

“Why? This isn’t your fault.”

“Isn’t it? Whoever is doing this is using the people I care about the most.” She sighed. “But that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that even though Maya is in a hospital bed…even though she might die…the first thing that crossed my mind wasn’t her.” Emily peered into Alison’s eyes. “It was you. It could have been you. It almost _was_ you.” Her voice was low and quiet. “I keep replaying it in my head. And I see that picture of you…completely helpless. And I keep thinking about the fact that if something had happened to you…”

“But it didn’t.” Alison reassured her. “Besides, I don’t think the situations compare. I…I was drugged. Maya…she used, didn’t she?”

Emily’s face went rigid. She swallowed hard and shook her head. Through all of the chaos and grief she hadn’t had a chance to tell Alison the truth yet.

“No. That’s the thing. It wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t an overdose. Someone _drugged_ her. They sent me a picture of it.” She reached for her phone. The image had deleted itself automatically, but it was seared into Emily’s brain. “It disappeared after I saw it, but it was definitely Maya.”

“Are you serious?” Alison’s entire body tensed up. “Someone did this to her?”

“Maya was a lot of things, but she wasn’t an addict.” Emily suddenly realized she was talking about her in the past tense. “ _Is_. She _is_ a lot of things…” Her stomach started churning.

Alison noticed the change in her expression.

“You okay?”

“I feel sick to my stomach.” Her throat bobbed. “It’s all the crying. I’ve cried so much that my entire body feels achy.”

“I’m going to go see if that tea is ready yet.” Alison slowly sat up.

Emily rolled off of her side and propped herself up against her pillow to see if the change in position would help.

“Just relax.” Alison put her palm against the side of Emily’s neck.

She pushed up off of the bed and shuffled out of the room. She didn’t want to leave Emily alone for long. She felt awkward traipsing through her house without her, but she was on autopilot. Emily had spent months coddling her and taking care of her. The least she could do was do the same for her.

She paused when she got to the kitchen. She saw Emily’s mother standing by the stove. She had a spoon in one hand and a tea kettle in her other hand. She was moving with a nervous energy. She poured some steaming water into a mug sitting on the counter. Alison waited until the older woman put the kettle down and then she cleared her throat.

“Um…Mrs. Fields?”

Pam jumped and spun around, dropping the spoon in surprise. Alison realized she’d made the right call waiting until Pam had put the hot kettle down. Pam raised her hand up to her chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, Alison. Hi.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to see if the tea was ready.”

“It will be.” She nodded. “In a few minutes.” She reached down and picked up the spoon. She rinsed it off and then put it into the mug. “How’s Emmy?”

 _Emmy_. She’d never heard Emily called by that name before. It was adorable. It was hard to believe she was a biker babe with purple hair when she had a name like _Emmy_.

“Um…she’s okay, I think. She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

“She gets that from her father. His resolve is something else. She’s got the same iron will that he has.” Pam picked up the mug and tapped the spoon against the inner edge. “She’s a daddy’s girl.”

Alison could see a flicker of grief in her eyes, a flash of pain.

“It must have been tough for you two…when he was overseas.”

“We managed.” She looked towards a photo on the wall of the three of them. It looked recent. Emily’s hair was purple in it. Pam looked at Alison. “So, Emily tells me…” She paused and decidedly thought it would be best to reword what she was saying, “…well, she doesn’t _tell_ me much of anything, actually. But I’ve heard things at your house aren’t always…ideal.”

Alison had to stifle a dark laugh. The DiLaurentis name followed her around like a curse. Her parents had quite the reputation in town.

“I know word gets around about my family. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t easy not having a support system. You should know that parents aren’t always perfect.” She tried to give Alison a warm smile, but it came off as a forced grimace. “Lord knows I certainly haven’t always made the right calls with Emily…”

“I think she’s amazing.” Because of _and_ in spite of her parents. “You raised a really wonderful girl.”

“Thank you.” Pam handed Alison the warm glass. There was a teabag steeping in it. “For being there for her.”

She’d wanted to be there for her. When she’d heard about Maya she knew that Emily would be devastated. All she wanted to do was pull her into her lap and comfort her like she’d done when Emily was little. But she’d pushed her away. She knew she’d pushed her away. And now she was helpless.

“I know she’s devastated. And I don’t blame her. What happened to Maya…I can’t imagine. That poor girl. Her poor parents.” There was a subtle sadness on Pam’s face. It was a look that Alison innately understood. It was a look of fear that only a mother could have over losing a child.

“She could still pull through, right?”

Pam looked away. She’d answered without saying a word. But she still tried to find something positive to say.

“I like to hope so. I can’t imagine a God that would tear a child away from her mother.”

Alison opened her mouth to point out that the Bible was _exactly_ that scenario, but her inner voice kicked on…telling her it was not the right time, and it was _definitely_ not the right thing to say.

“This baby…” Pam stopped. “It’s not what any of us expected.” She pinched her brow in thought. “I don’t know what Emily has told you about us…about how we’ve handled this. She has been through so much. A lot of it at my hand, and I fully admit that. But I want you to understand something. I love my daughter. I love her more than anything. I also realize that this is a complicated situation to be in, and you’re both young and feeling things…”

Things she didn’t understand, but things she knew were there.

“Babies test people. And I understand that you two are close, and that you are growing up. But no matter how old she gets, she is still my child. And regardless of who she loves, regardless of what you two are…” She bit her lip, “Just don’t break her heart. Don’t break my baby’s heart.”

“I won’t.” Alison was too stunned to say anything else.

Pam nodded in satisfaction.

“You let me know if either one of you needs anything.” She sauntered off, ending their conversation.

Alison quickly rushed back to Emily’s room, careful not to spill the hot beverage. When she walked into the room, Emily was leaning against several pillows, taking deep breaths. Her hand was on her stomach. Alison watched as her hand started to rise and then fall as she slowly breathed in and out.

“You’re starting Lamaze classes without me?” Alison closed the door. She left the tiniest crack in it, because she knew Emily’s parents would be checking in.

“God, I haven’t even thought about birthing classes.” Emily opened her eyes and flinched.

“That can be tomorrow’s worry.” Alison walked over to her, tea in hand. She extended the mug to Emily. “Careful. It’s hot.”

Emily took the mug. Alison could see her hands shaking. She steadied her, helping her grip the cup. Emily glanced at her and smiled.

“Caleb texted.”

“Checking in?”

“Kind of.” Emily made a face. “We...sort of went to the bar today to see if there were any clues there to lead us to who drugged you.”

“Emily…” Alison scowled in disapproval.

“Don’t you _Emily_ me, Street Fighter. Hanna told him all about your double’s match with the twins.” She lifted her brow in an accusatory manner.

“That snitch. She promised she wouldn’t say anything…” She was going to kill Hanna Marin.

“Caleb pulled it out of her. And she didn’t snitch. She apparently _bragged_.”

“She did?” Alison beamed.

“Yeah. I don’t know exactly what you two did today, but it sounds like you’ve finally got Hanna in your corner.” She saw Alison smile, and it made her forget about her pain. “So, what did you find out?”

“Wilden is basically a drug dealer. And they’re his gophers. He’s got them running all kinds of errands. Hanna and I are looking into some things that don’t add up.”

“So are Caleb and I. We found a few things at the bar. He thought it might be a good idea to see if we can try and run DNA profiles to see if by chance we can track people who were there who might have seen something. He’s got a friend who is an ex-cop who can get it done. I figured it can’t hurt anything, especially if you think you saw Wilden there.” She reached for her laptop.

Alison gently grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“Right now you need to rest. We’ll worry about all of this in the morning. You’ve had a hell of a day. Let’s just take the night off, okay?”

Emily could see the anxiety in Alison’s eyes. She nodded and laid back against her pillows. She sipped on the tea. It helped with her nausea.

It wasn’t long before her eyes drooped closed. When she finally drifted off to sleep Alison gently ran her fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead, taking a moment to linger so she could inhale the sweet smell of her skin.

_Sleep, my sweet angel._

Alison crashed shortly after Emily. They cuddled together undisturbed for nearly two hours. But then Emily woke up with a pulsing bladder. The tea had run right through her.

Alison’s arm was draped across Emily’s chest. Her leg was curled on top of Emily’s leg. Her warm cheek was resting near her right breast. She was breathing softly and evenly. Emily could feel the heat from her breaths against her neck. She smelled intoxicating.

Emily tilted her chin down and pressed a kiss against the top of her head. Her hair was soft and the aroma of her shampoo was wafting off of her. Emily closed her eyes and smiled as she took in the floral scent. It was like a mixture of spring flowers and honey with a hint of lavender. She wanted to stay wrapped up with her forever, but her kid was sitting directly on her bladder.

She managed to slip out of bed without waking the blonde. When she got back she saw that Alison had flipped over to her other side. She was curled up and had her cheek buried in Emily’s pillow.

Emily crawled on to the mattress, trying not to disturb her. She heard Alison hum dreamily as she rubbed her face against the pillow. Emily slid behind her, wrapping her arms around Alison’s waist. She kissed her cheek and tried to curl her body to fit against Alison’s. Her bump was squeezed in between them.

Alison laid her arms on top of Emily’s, holding her in place. Emily snuggled her chin in between the hollow between Alison’s neck and her shoulder. She kissed the soft skin behind her ear.

“Ali, are you awake?” she whispered.

At first Alison didn’t move. Emily assumed she was so exhausted that she was out cold. But then she stirred in her arms. She rolled over to face Emily. Their eyes met in the low light of the room. The soft saturation cast sharp shadows in the darkness as they moved in for a kiss.

Emily gripped Alison’s cheek. Their lips moved together, softly at first, but then there became a heated need behind the motion. Emily felt Alison’s palm against the bare skin above her hip. Her fingertips ignited a fiery desire in Emily’s veins. She pushed harder against Alison, moving her hand down against her thigh.

Despite the door being cracked, and despite the fact that her parents could walk in at any moment, they didn’t slow down. The heat of the moment had them touching everywhere, exploring each other’s bodies. Their tongues clashed.

Alison could feel something different in Emily’s motions. She could feel a need…a yearning for her touch. She knew she was vulnerable because of Maya. It felt weird to be getting so hot and heavy when Emily had hit an emotional rock bottom. But it also somehow made what they were doing more meaningful.

Emily slipped her fingers into Alison’s underwear. She stopped briefly to give Alison time to stop her if she was going too far, but Alison only encouraged her. She followed Emily’s lead, moving her hand in between her legs. Emily softly bit down on Alison’s lip and groaned against her mouth.

They’d felt each other bare before. They’d both touched and been touched. But there was a new passion behind it. They wanted to rip one another’s clothes off, but it was too risky. Instead, they gently slid their fingers back and forth in tandem to create the friction their bodies needed.

It was Alison who felt herself falling over the edge first. Emily did everything she could to swallow the noises that the blonde was making, but their lips came apart when Emily felt her body shaking along with Alison’s. She felt Alison’s free hand sliding up her body, her fingers tracing her lips. Emily kissed her fingertips. She threw her head back when it hit her. Alison had to put her hand over Emily’s mouth to keep her from crying out too loudly.

Alison came down from her high fairly quickly, but she could see that Emily needed a little more time. Her body was still having spasms.

Emily had heard that everything was more intense during pregnancy, but she’d never felt such an immense amount of pleasure before. The ecstasy helped soothed her heartache, which is exactly what Alison had been trying to do.

Emily was pulled out of her trance when she felt Alison’s lips softly sweeping over hers. She pulled back to smile at Emily. She brushed her messy bedhead aside and leaned in for another kiss.

They moved in to snuggle. Alison was content in her arms. They stayed in their embrace for nearly half an hour in silence, just being together. Alison rubbed her cheek against Emily’s neck and then looked up at her.

The way Emily was looking back at her sent her into a sense of euphoric bliss. Her body, her heart, and her soul responded to Emily in ways that it had never responded to anyone else. It’s like she was suddenly aware of everything at once.

She thought about everything she loved about the brunette. The way her nose crinkled when she smiled. The creases she got in her forehead when she was deep in thought. The calm nature of her eyes. The way her lips tasted like cocoa. The scent of her sweat mixed with the oils she used to keep from getting stretch marks. The way her body moved like the waves in the ocean. The warmth of her hands. The fiery expressions she had when they were exploring things together. Her bravery and her spirit of adventure. Her unyielding desire to hold on to the adventures and let go of the little things. The way she held doors for her and helped her on to her bike. The way she led. The way she did...everything. She loved everything about her.

Alison looked at her. And she saw her beautiful eyes. And her beautiful lips. And her beautiful face. But most importantly, she saw her beautiful soul.

“I love you.” It slipped out. She had been waiting to say it on a special occasion, but she couldn’t stop her feelings.

She immediately started to doubt the timing. Emily had _just_ found out her ex-girlfriend might die. She pulled back to see Emily staring back at her with a strange look on her face. For a split second Alison thought she’d said it too soon.

But then Emily said something that was better than _“I love you, too.”_

“She kicked.” Emily smiled, moving her hand to her belly. It was the first definitive movement she’d felt. She’d had fluttering sensations and indigestion, but nothing as concrete as an actual kick…not that she was sure of.

“Really?” Alison’s eyes brightened in excitement. She put her hand against Emily’s stomach, waiting…hoping.

A minute went by. Then two. Just as Alison was starting to lose hope, she felt a firm pulse against her palm. She sucked in a gust of air and laughed. She was enamored by the movement.

She slowly slid down Emily’s body, placing both of her hands on Emily’s stomach. She felt a flutter of motion. It was the most incredible thing she’d ever experienced. It made everything real.

Pregnancy came with a heavy amount of burden, but it also came with something amazing. Powerful forces were at play. Emily was leaving her mark on the world. She was passing on her strength and her legacy. Alison knew that her baby would never want for anything, because Emily was so full of love. All that the child was, all that she would be…it would be because of Emily. Her little girl didn’t know how lucky she was. She had the most fearless…most caring mom in the world.

She’d felt something shift inside of her when the baby moved. And it left her wondering if her mother had ever felt the same thing. She didn’t understand how someone could have a child and not love it. She would never make that mistake with her own children.

Alison wasn’t exactly sure who she would be to the baby, but she knew one thing for certain…she already loved her as much as she loved Emily. The day she’d seen Emily’s first ultrasound had sparked something in her heart. But feeling the baby’s movements was on an entirely different level. She didn’t even know her yet, but she knew she would never let anyone hurt her. She would destroy anyone who tried to harm her.

Alison marveled at Emily’s stomach, concentrating, watching to see if she could see the moment the baby decided to kick again.

She pressed a chaste kiss against Emily’s belly. She stroked Emily’s skin, which was slick with coconut oil and sweat. She loved the way she felt. She loved the way she smelled.

She had gotten so wrapped up in the moment that she’d nearly forgotten about the three little words she’d said to Emily.

Emily hadn’t.

“Ali...” Emily reached down and put her fingers underneath Alison’s chin, guiding her to look up.

The second Alison’s crystal blue eyes locked on hers, Emily smiled at her,

“I love you, too.”

“I knew you did.” Alison moved up, pressing a kiss against her lips. She laid her hand against Emily’s belly again, hoping for another kick. “Think she conked out?”

“At least one of us is getting some sleep.” Emily shrugged. She felt her move again. It felt more like rumbling in her stomach this time. “Nope. Still kicking.” She adjusted to try and get comfortable. It didn’t hurt, but it was a strange sensation.

“Maybe we should try reasoning with her.” Alison suggested. They both laughed. Alison moved back down until she was staring at Emily’s stomach again. “Your mom has had a rough day, little one. Maybe you could reschedule the workout for later?”

Emily chuckled. Alison rubbed her stomach to see if she could settle the baby. She glanced at Emily.

“Is it weird that I want her to recognize my voice? I…I want her to know me…”

“She knows you, Ali.” Emily was sure of it. She could feel it.

“I could sing her a lullaby.” Alison offered.

“Be my guest.”

Alison hummed a quiet tune while Emily reached down and ran her fingers through her hair. Alison wasn’t sure if it was helping, but she didn’t intend to stop. When she finished singing she sighed happily, resting her cheek against Emily’s belly.

She swore she could hear the thrumming of the baby’s heart. If she closed her eyes she could hear a tiny little angel swimming in a sea of light. She imagined that’s what it had to feel like to be that close to Emily…to be _that_ connected to her.

Alison ended up falling asleep with her face pressed against Emily’s stomach. Emily didn’t have the heart to move her. She didn’t _want_ to move her. She’d never seen Alison so open…so loving. She’d seen sides of the blonde before that were soft. But this was different. This was _love_.

Emily was up and down several times the rest of the night, but she managed not to wake Alison again. Her insomnia was terrible, but her sleeplessness was bearable because she had a gorgeous blonde in her bed.

Alison reached for her a lot in her sleep. She didn’t seem to mind the fact that her girlfriend was hotter than a furnace.

Emily checked her phone periodically, waiting for another threat…another taunt.

It never came.

So she settled into bed with her girlfriend, and she held her the rest of the night.

* * *

The next morning Emily’s mom made them breakfast. She was a lot more cordial than Emily was expecting. It threw her for a loop. All it took for her mother to come around to her sexuality was her ex-girlfriend dying.

They hadn’t officially heard anything yet. Pam had reached out to Pastor Ted and had gotten Maya’s mother’s contact information. She was waiting to hear back.

“How are you holding up, baby?” Her dad kissed her head.

“I’m okay.”

Alison glared at her. Emily was far from okay. Emily was not intimidated by her threatening scowl.

“Alison, what would you like to drink?” Pam asked.

Her stance was rigid. Alison could tell she was uncomfortable, but she buried it for the sake of her daughter. Alison tried not to let it get to her. She tried to remember that Pam and Wayne were old-school and religious and they were still coming to terms with seeing their daughter with a girl. At least they were being polite to her. Her parents didn’t even know she was gone. She’d gotten a text from her mother that morning asking her if she was going to come down and join them for breakfast. She hadn’t even bothered to check Alison’s room. Sometimes Alison felt invisible in her own house.

“I’ll have whatever coffee you have in the pot.”

“You’re in luck. It’s a French brew that I discovered on a tour a few years ago.” Wayne had a little pep in his step. “I have some buddies stationed there that send me tons of it. You’ll never want regular brew again after you try it.”

Emily yawned and sipped on some ginger root tea that her mother had made her. It was supposed to help with nausea. Pam put a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her. Emily felt her stomach lurch. Her morning sickness was out in full force.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat.” Alison and her mother both proclaimed at the same time.

Emily looked between her mother and her girlfriend. She did not like the fact that they’d had the exact same thought at the exact same time. It was Freudian and weird.

“Now I’m even less hungry.” But she reached for her fork. She wasn’t doing it for herself. She was doing it for her daughter.

She choked down a bite of toast.

She heard her phone go off, and she felt nauseated by the noise. She was afraid it was her stalker. Or worse…bad news about Maya. Alison and Pam both watched as Emily slowly picked up her phone. Wayne was more subtle about it. He was good at pretending that he wasn’t watching when he really was. They noticed a look of relief wash across her face.

It was just Isaac checking on her.

“It’s not about Maya,” she said, her eyes still on her phone. “Just a friend checking in.”

“Make it quick. You know our rules about phones at the table…” Pam chastised.

“I think we can make an exception this morning.” Wayne butted in.

Pam glared at him. She didn’t appreciate her parenting being called into question.

Emily read Isaac’s message.

**_I heard about Maya. How r u?_ **

**_Pastor Ted got the news to your mom, too?_ **

**_He told some of the congregation last night. Didn’t want them to be shocked when they said a prayer for her family today._ **

It shouldn’t have annoyed Emily, but it did. Because Maya was agnostic. It was a stupid thing to get irritated about. The church was trying to be nice. The same church who would condemn her and Maya for being in a relationship. It felt hypocritical. But she wasn’t going to take it out on Isaac. She tried to keep her response flowery and short.

**_That’s nice of them to do._ **

**_It’s bullshit. God doesn’t do anything to save dying people. Doctors do._ **

His response reminded Emily why they were friends. She shot back immediately with three cry-laughing emojis.

**_Right? Doctors are out there saving people and curing things and people are just like, ‘Thank God…” No…THANK YOUR DOCTOR!_ **

**_Tried that argument on my mom once. Her response was, ‘Well we should thank God for creating medicine’. Should we also thank him for creating disease and death?_ **

**_Lol. When did you become such a cynic?_ **

She had never known Isaac to be moody. If she didn’t know any better she would assume he was having sympathy mood swings.

 ** _A lot has changed since you left._** He emphasized with a sad-faced emoji.

Emily bit her lip. She’d probably altered his life in a lot of ways. And not good ways.

**_I’m sorry._ **

**_Oh. No…I didn’t mean it like that. And anyway, I didn’t text u to get into all that. I’m worried about u. U didn’t answer my question, Em. How r u? I know Maya was ur best friend._ **

**_I’m…idk. Waiting to hear what’s going on with her. It’s the WORST._ **

**_If u need anything, let me know._ **

**_Appreciate it. Not sure what you can do_ **

**_Wish we weren’t so far away. Maybe it won’t be this way forever. Courtney loved NYC. She’s trying to convince mom and dad to let her move. I swear she has this argument with them every weekend._ **

**_Seriously?_ **

**_Yup. And get this…they’re actually CONSIDERING it. I don’t know what she’s done all of a sudden to convince them that she’s special, but they’re doting on her like crazy. Thinking I might take advantage of it. If she does move I could go visit, which means we could hang sometime._ **

Alarm bells went off in Emily’s mind. He would be _way_ too close. She knew she had to put a stop to the conversation. She quickly tried to shift it.

**_I know all about odd family drama. Right now I’m having breakfast with my parents and my lover._ **

She needed him to remember that she was off the market.

**_Ooof. I’ll say a prayer for you._ **

He followed up with prayer hands and a laughing emoji. She almost typed back **_“You little shit…”_** but instead, she just let the conversation naturally fade.

Emily put her phone down and looked at her mom and Alison, who were both trying to look occupied by the things on their plates. She could tell they’d been watching her. Her dad was at the sink washing a dish, but he had his eyes trained on her, too. She managed an earnest half-smile as she picked up her fork and started eating.

The call came just as Emily and Alison were finishing their scrambled eggs. It was Maya’s older brother. Her parents had been too overwhelmed and too distraught to speak to anyone.

In a stunning turn of events, Maya had made it through the night and she was improving. As soon as Pam told Emily the news she felt a weight being lifted off of her.

She looked at Alison, and all of her pain completely faded. The blonde had become a focal point for her. All she had to do was look at her and she felt like everything was going to be okay.

* * *

For the next week Emily stayed glued to her phone, waiting for updates on Maya’s condition. Alison rarely left her side. She was with her at school, at work, after school, and every minute in between.

Maya’s brother kept in touch, letting them know about her daily improvements. Even so, Emily couldn’t concentrate on anything. Work had become a repetition that she performed on autopilot. She fell behind in a few of her classes, but her friends tried to help her pick up the slack. The apartment was officially hers. She’d gotten the keys to her new place, but she hadn’t started packing yet. It was the furthest thing from her mind.

She wasn’t going to feel better until she heard Maya’s voice. Emily wanted to talk to her, but Maya’s parents were being strict about her rehab. She wasn’t allowed any contact all week. They told her that they could talk the next weekend.

By Saturday, her brain was completely fried. Even though Maya was out of the hospital, Emily still couldn’t move past what had happened.

Alison wasn’t surprised when Emily told her she wanted to go see Maya in person. They had been snuggling together on Emily’s couch on Saturday morning after they’d eaten breakfast.

Emily had invited her over because her parents were volunteering at a weekend rummage sale at church. Pam had taken a long time to decide which house of worship she wanted to go to, but after hearing about Maya she’d finally settled on one. She’d been praying for her non-stop. And she’d jumped right into the evangelical masses.

Emily hadn’t been to a service in years. When she’d originally rebelled against religion her mother had fought her on it. It had only pushed Emily further away. Emily pretty much worshiped at the church of Alison DiLaurentis. They had breakfast that Saturday and then went into the living room to watch Netflix, which usually turned into something more.

Usually when they were alone one of them made a move on the other. But Emily wasn’t herself. Alison could tell something was on her mind, so she asked her to just come out and say what she needed to say. So Emily told her she was going to see her ex-girlfriend.

“I texted her last night. I asked her to ask her parents if I could visit.”

Emily showed Alison her phone. The text exchange seemed harmless. At 8:48 pm Emily had sent Maya a text asking her how she was doing.

**_Hey, it’s Emily. Been a long time. Heard about what happened. I wanted to call and chat, but I’m thinking maybe this warrants a visit in person? I’m in PA, and your mom says you’re in DC now? Tell me if I’m overstepping._ **

An hour later she’d gotten a response,

**_Em…it’s so good to hear from you. You have no idea. I’d love to catch up. I need to see a friendly face. I’ll check with my mom and dad about the visit. What are you doing in Eagles territory?_ **

**_Dad’s job. Military brats are kind of obligated to move when the commander says so._ **

Twenty minutes later Maya had written back,

**_Mom said a visit is fine. When did you want to come down?_ **

**_Is tomorrow too soon?_ **

**_No. To tell you the truth I’m going stir-crazy. Would love to be able to get away for a little while._ **

**_How are you?_ **

**_Exhausted._ **

Emily could only imagine. She wondered what Maya remembered, if anything. She wondered if she’d tried to tell her parents the truth. Would they have believed her? The rest of Maya’s text was cryptic.

**_Will go into more detail tomorrow. Want to do a late lunch?_ **

**_Just have to make sure I can borrow the car. Shouldn’t a problem. I’ll head down after mom and dad get home from church._ **

**_Your mother doesn’t force you to go ingest organized religion that hates our kind anymore?_ **

**_A lot has changed. We’ll talk about it tomorrow._ **

**_Sounds good._ **

Alison scrolled through the exchange. She liked that Emily was being so open with her about it. She liked it less that she was talking to Maya again.

Emily gently took her phone back.

“I know it’s weird, but I just…I have to get closure on this. I have to look at her…to _see_ her and know that she’s okay.” Emily sighed.

“You’re going to DC?” Alison sat back against the couch. She was a little nervous, because she was afraid Emily would fall for Maya again and they’d lose what they had.

“It isn’t that far away. It’s just a couple of hours. My parents already told me I could borrow the car.”

Alison took a calculated breath. She paused and then shook her head.

“You don’t need to do that. I can drive.”

“I would like to arrive in DC alive.” Emily gave her a hard time. Alison laughed and shoved her. Emily grabbed her hand before she could pull it away. She smiled at her. “I appreciate it. I really do. But I kind of need to do this on my own.”

“Oh,” Alison said quietly. She looked down at the floor.

“It’s…it doesn’t have anything to do with you versus her. She’s my past. _You_ are my future.” Emily reached out and put her fingers underneath Alison’s chin. “What I had with her…” She peered at the blonde, “…it doesn’t compare to what I have with you.”

“I wasn’t trying to stake a claim on you or anything. I just thought you might want the company.” She seemed downtrodden.

“Normally I would beg you to ride shotgun.” But she needed the time to think. She needed the peace and quiet. She felt like the ever-looming omnipresent cyber-freak was hovering over her. “But showing up to see my ex-girlfriend who was almost murdered with my new girlfriend and a pregnant belly in tow might _actually_ send her running for the drugs.”

“Are you going to tell her?” For months it felt like the baby was just _their_ little secret. Alison knew that eventually she was going to tell people. But for now, it had been nice keeping it between them and a group of very select friends.

“I’m not going to have to tell her. She’ll know.”

“You’re not showing _that_ much.” Alison looked at her protruding stomach. Emily didn’t hide it around her anymore, but most kids at school couldn’t see the growing bump because of the clothes Hanna had helped her pick out.

“It’s not about that.” Emily replied. “I couldn’t hide it from her even if I tried. She knows me too well…” She drifted off.

Alison saw a strange look on her face.

“You really loved her, didn’t you?” It tasted bitter to say.

Emily looked at Alison. She knew how strange it was to be talking to her about this.

“I did.” She thoughtfully took Alison’s hands in hers. “But I love you more.” She smiled. “You’re the one I’m coming home to. You’re the one I’m planning my Valentine’s Day with. You were my first kiss, my first crush…my first love…”

“I wish I could have been your first real relationship.” Because she felt like nothing could compete with that.

“You are,” Emily said without skipping a beat.

It made Alison feel special, but she still didn’t like the idea of Emily alone with her ex-girlfriend. She wasn’t afraid anything was going to happen. She knew it wouldn’t. She trusted Emily. She was afraid that old feelings would resurface and that she wouldn’t be able to compete with Maya.

Emily read the look on her face.

“You have nothing to worry about.” She assured her.

“I’m not.” The lie wasn’t convincing to either one of them.

“You’re thinking about tailing me to DC, aren’t you?”

“What?” Alison scoffed. _Yes, complete with a disguise_. “No, of course not.”

“Ali, promise me you’re not scheming.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” Alison reached up and drew an X across her chest.

“I wouldn’t hope to die. That’s actually plausible with this psycho after us.” She glanced at Alison. “I didn’t even think about that…about you being alone. Caleb said the security at your place is good to go, right?”

Alison hated that Caleb was so efficient. She probably could have weaseled her way into Emily’s DC trip if she said Caleb hadn’t installed security at her place.

“Yeah. The new app is on my phone.”

“I want you to call him or Hanna for help if _anything_ goes wrong.”

 _I’d rather die._ Alison thought to herself.

They heard a car pulling into the driveway. Emily felt Alison holding her a little tighter. She didn’t say anything, but Emily could tell exactly what she was thinking.

_Please don’t go._

Two hours later, Emily was kissing Alison goodbye in her driveway. They held hands, their fingers brushing together. Alison looked at the car and considered trying to sneak into the back seat.

Emily fiddled with the keys. She always felt so different when she was holding car keys. Her bike key felt more natural in her hands. She also felt more comfortable on her bike than she did in a car, which was ironic, considering cars offered more protection.

“Be careful.” Alison linked her fingers in between Emily’s. “Come home in one piece.”

Emily couldn’t stand the way that Alison was looking at her…like it was the end of the world.

“It’s just a day trip. It’s not like I’m going off to war.” Emily tried to lighten the mood.

“Technically, we have been drafted into a battle against our will. Whoever is doing this went far enough to hurt Maya. I don’t like to think about you alone and in a city you don’t know. Who knows what they could do to you there?”

“I’m more likely to get stabbed by a random stranger than to run into that freak there.” Emily leaned against the car.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Alison pushed her lips out in a pout.

“It’s supposed to make you realize that danger is everywhere. And there is only so much we can do.”

She played with the sideview mirror on the car. She stared at the words _OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR_ that were written in little letters near the bottom _._ She could see her stomach in the reflection, and she couldn’t help but laugh, because the baby’s due date was getting closer.

“Says the girl who had someone install secret security at my house.”

“Because that’s something we can do. We can adapt. But we can’t walk around in a bubble because of one person.”

“Can’t I just put a tiny bubble around you? Or maybe just one around the baby…since she can’t take care of herself yet?”

“She’s got me to take care of her. And you. She’s fine.” Emily rubbed Alison’s arm. “Everything will be fine. We’re close to figuring this out. We have to be.”

“Maybe Maya will remember something about the night she was drugged.” Alison tried to be hopeful.

“That’s the spirit. Maybe this visit will solve everything. We’ll have it all sorted out before Valentine’s Day.”

It was only two weeks away. As luck would have it, it was happening on a Saturday. That gave them the whole day and night to spend it together. They’d both been planning things for their special weekend. They had no way of knowing that it was going to end in heartbreak.

* * *

Emily was in a contemplative mood the entire trip. She didn’t listen to the radio. She needed the silence to think about things. She zoned out the entire way. She couldn’t stop thinking about her past and how it had collided with her future.

She was so spacey that she nearly missed the exit. She’d been in the car for two hours. It felt like two minutes.

It didn’t really hit her until she was pulling into Maya’s driveway that she had no idea what she was going to say. She was in uncharted territory.

She had all kinds of strange thoughts running through her mind. All she could picture was the last time she’d ever seen her. It had been two days after they were drugged at the party.

They had been at Emily’s house, lying on her bed doing homework. Things had been a little tense since the night of the party. Emily still hadn’t dealt with what happened. And Maya was acting like it wasn’t a big deal.

Emily was still insanely pissed at the guys who had drugged them. Part of her felt like driving a car through the detention center where they were being held. Maya had talked her down from her anger.

She’d pulled out a playlist and they’d sprawled out on Emily’s bed side by side. They’d been on their stomachs facing the door. Maya was sharing her earphones. Emily nodded along to the beat. Maya had great taste in music. She always found the best songs to help relax the mood.

They’d been sharing their math book and going through their homework assignment, giggling at a photo that Maya had doodled in the corner of the book of two snakes on an axis plane. Her brother had been obsessed with the movie _Snakes on a Plane_ , and the lesson they were learning was about the axis plane.

Emily felt Maya’s bare feet twisting against her ankles and they turned to face one another, both of them smiling. Her mother was out working in the yard and her father was at work, so she was appreciating the alone time she had with Maya.

She didn’t know how she’d been lucky enough to land someone beautiful, smart, funny, and musically talented. She loved everything about her. Her dark brown eyes were accentuated by beautiful thick eyelashes and perfectly shaped brows. Her face was smooth and soft without a blemish in sight. Her thick natural curls shaped her face perfectly. She always had one coil that was astray, like a daredevil that would never conform to society.

Emily took few minutes to admire her. Maya realized it after she noticed that Emily hadn’t talked for almost three minutes. She saw Emily staring.

_“What? Do I have something on my face?”_

_“Yeah. My lips.”_

The kiss had been short and sweet, because they didn’t want to get caught. Maya always looked so bashful after they kissed. For some reason, Maya had shied away. It was unlike her.

 _“Everything okay?”_ Emily had questioned.

 _“I don’t want to get distracted from our homework.”_ She’d touched the edge of the book and then looked up at Emily, a sultry look on her face. _“Because if you distract me anymore…I won’t be able to control myself. And if your mom catches us…”_

_“I’m sorry. I wish I could come out.”_

_“It’s okay. I get it.”_ She’d paused and thought about it. _“Well, no, I guess I don’t. My parents are fine with me being bi.”_ Her dad was actually bi. _“It’s still hard though…not being able to hold your hand in public.”_

Maya had looked away. Emily knew what she was thinking. She was thinking about being in the diner after the frat party. Emily had basically shunned her in front of the boys. She didn’t want them to know they were together. It wasn’t fair to Maya.

There was a period of silence. They had drifted back into awkward territory. Emily hated it.

_“Listen…about the party…”_

_“We don’t have to talk about it.”_ Maya had cut her off.

_“Okay, well…what about what happened after? With Isaac and Nick?”_

_“What about it?”_

_“At the diner…I wasn’t trying to…”_

A shrill noise interrupted Emily. Maya’s cell phone was trilling from inside the side pocket of her backpack. Maya reached for it to shut it off. She saw it was her mom calling.

She hit the ignore button and was getting ready to put it up, but it started ringing again seconds later. After she hit ignore again a text message popped up. Maya read it and her eyes widened. She sat up in bed.

 _“Is something wrong?”_ Emily sat up next to her.

 _“I have to go. My parents are freaking out about something. They want me home…”_ She’d quickly gathered her things.

She was in such a rush that she almost forgot to tell Emily goodbye. She slipped her feet into her jellie shoes and then spun back towards Emily. She leaned over and gave her a quick goodbye kiss.

 _“I’ll call you later. I love you.”_ Maya grabbed her bag.

_“Love you, too.”_

They were the last words they’d ever said to one another. That had been the last Emily had heard from her. After Maya got home all of her electronics had been confiscated. Her parents had found a stash of her drugs. They’d basically had a drug camp on speed dial. They’d pulled her out of school and decided that they were going to send her to boarding school. They had made the decision to move so they could be closer to the boarding school.

Emily had been a frantic wreck after she hadn’t heard from her after twenty-four hours. Her mom and dad found out the truth through the gossip chain. Some of the people spreading the rumors suggested that they toss Emily’s room to see if she was doing drugs, too. Her dad had vehemently opposed it. He knew he’d raised his daughter better than that.

When they told Emily about Maya she’d had to control her reaction. She was devastated, but she couldn’t show just _how_ torn up she was or they’d know. They’d figure out why her heart was broken.

She had tried for weeks to figure out a way to get in touch with Maya, but had never had any luck.

She’d spent days lying in her bed and staring at the ceiling. She also beat the holy hell out of the punching bag at the gym. It led to a lot of self-reflection. She had a lot of unanswered questions. Why hadn’t she known more about her drug use? Why were her parents being so hard on her? If she found her could they still have a future together?

Now, the future was staring her in the face. And everything was so different.

Emily sat in her car outside of Maya’s house, trying to sum up the courage to walk to the front door. It dawned on her that they’d been separated when Maya was shipped away, but they’d never officially broken up. Obviously they _were_ broken up. It had been a year and a half. But it was still weird to think about.

She thought about what Maya had last looked like when she told her she loved her. Emily never thought she would love someone again. Now, Emily was saying those three little words to Alison. She felt it with someone other than Maya. She felt it much stronger than she ever had with Maya. It was a strange feeling.

Emily took a deep breath before getting out of the car. She looked down at her stomach. Her clothing was hiding some evidence of her pregnancy, but there was no way Maya was going to miss it.

She walked up the garden path that led to Maya’s front porch. She climbed three steps and then lifted her hand to knock on the door. Before her fist made contact, the door opened up.

Maya was standing there smiling at her. She looked weary, but had a strong resolve on her face. Her eyes were soft. They were always soft when she saw Emily.

Emily thought for sure that she might feel something… _anything_. But all she could think about was Alison.

“Took you long enough.” Maya gave her a cheeky smile. “I thought you were getting ready to turn the car around and flee.”

“I…uh…” Emily glanced back at the car, like it was going to do a trick or something. “Long drive.” She could feel her bladder burning. “Actually, I kind of have to use the restroom.”

“Sure. Come on.” Maya waved her in. She showed Emily where the bathroom was.

When Emily was finished she walked back into the living room, where Maya was waiting. She was sitting on the couch. Emily sat down on the opposite end of the couch, leaving a large amount of space between them. They stared at one another for a minute. Neither one of them knew what to say.

Emily tried to break the tension.

“Hey.” She smiled tentatively.

“Hey.” Maya smiled back.

“It’s been a long time.” Emily clasped her hands and put them against her belly.

“It has.” Maya glanced down at her stomach. “Are you…”

“Yeah. It’s a long story.”

“Holy shit. And I thought I had the market cornered on being a wild child. Did your parents freak?”

“Oh, big time.” Emily nodded. “But we’re working through it.” She looked around. Maya’s house felt really quiet. “What about your parents? How have things been?”

“I’m not allowed out without a chaperone.” Maya rolled her eyes. “They’re not here, but my brother is upstairs. Probably trolling some newb on one of his online RPGs. Can’t bitch at him too much. He’s actually the one who found me. Saved my life…”

“How are you? How are you feeling?”

Maya looked around, like she thought someone was listening. She leaned back against the sofa. She curled her legs up underneath her and wrapped her hands around her body in a self-hug.

“Tired.” She mashed her lips together in thought. “Confused.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Maya, what happened?”

Maya looked at her. She had a strange look on her face. Emily recognized it. She knew what Maya was holding back. She knew the truth, but she didn’t know how to come right out and say it. She didn’t know if it was safe to say anything. She was afraid that saying anything might come back to hurt Maya. Or Alison.

“It doesn’t matter.” Maya muttered. “No one believes me.”

“I will.” Emily promised.

Maya loosened her arms, letting them fall to her sides. She chewed on her lip.

“I didn’t do it, Em. I think…” She hesitated. “It’s like exactly what happened back in Texas.”

“The frat party?” Emily asked.

“No.” Maya thought about it. “Well, yes, kind of. That’s where it started. I’ve always thought that getting drugged there was connected to what happened afterwards.”

“What do you mean?”

“You remember the day I rushed out of your house?” Maya shifted on the couch.

“How could I forget?” Emily looked at the floor. “It’s the last day we saw one another.”

“I’m so sorry. I tried to find a way to get in touch with you, but my parents practically threw me into the car and hauled me away.”

“What does that have to do with what happened at the party?” Emily asked in confusion.

“The drugs that my parents found,” Maya said. “They weren’t mine.”

“What?”

“Well, I mean…some of them were mine. But there were things in there I’d never seen before. _Hard_ drugs. Stuff that I would _never_ use. I’m not an idiot. Pot is one thing. And shrooms. But there was like…heroin and meth. And fentanyl. I’d never seen it before in my life.”

“Are you saying someone _planted_ it?” Emily felt sick to her stomach. “Why? Who would do that?”

“I assumed the college frat assholes. We did get them into some _deep_ shit.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. No one in their right mind would _waste_ those kinds of drugs just to mess with some high-schooler.”

“It wasn’t a lot. I’m guessing a lot of it was cut with other stuff to make it look like a lot.”

“Yeah, but…why would they just go after you? I mean…if anything _I’m_ the one who antagonized them.”

“I thought about that a lot.” Maya nodded thoughtfully. “I think what happened is that by getting me in trouble they were trying to punish us both by getting us separated. Kill two birds with one stone.”

Emily hadn’t considered that.

“Do you think they knew…about us?” Emily asked. “We were so careful…”

“Anyone could have seen us going into that closet. And we were in there for like half an hour and came out looking like two hot messes. It’s probably why those rapey douchebags wanted us both. Probably thought we’d fulfill some perverted chauvinistic male fantasy.” She turned her nose up in disgust.

That night had been hell. It had put Maya through so much turmoil. It wasn’t fair. Why was she being punished for what had happened at the party?

The set-up had forced Maya into a life she didn’t ask for. And it had forced Emily into hiding with Isaac.

Maybe it was supposed to be a punishment for Emily. Maybe the person torturing her knew she wasn’t out to her parents and they were trying to force her to come out by taking Maya away from her. Maybe all of this was because of her. Maybe Maya was being punished because whoever was doing it was trying to hurt her.

“I’m so sorry, Maya.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Actually…I think it might be…”

Everything that was happening led back to her. She thought about how vulnerable Alison had been at the bar. Then she thought about how vulnerable Maya must have been…dying, by herself.

Emily took a moment to think about it. Maya’s overdose had happened the same night that Alison was drugged at the bar. Could it have been the same person?

“When exactly did the OD happen?”

“Friday. Right after school.” Maya flinched. It was obvious she was still dealing with the trauma. It was so hard for Emily not to fall back on old habits. She wanted to reach out and hold her hand. “It’s mostly a blur. I remember going to the park to meet up with my brother, like I usually do. He plays hoops with his buddies every Friday. Gives them a break from campus. Plus, we usually have Friday dinners with my mom and dad.”

So, it was a routine. It was something that could have been studied. It’s something that a stalker would know.

“I usually sneak a few tokes from my vape over behind the restrooms. It’s quiet and secluded. I have to be careful about smoking in public, because if my parents find out I still smoke weed they’d kill me.” She paused and then laughed harshly. “Though I guess that doesn’t really matter now.” She snapped her wrist flippantly. “That’s where things get a little blurry. I remember hearing something in the bushes. I felt something sharp prick my neck right below my ear. I remember my head burning. I thought I saw someone, but then everything went black.”

“You saw someone?” Emily asked.

“I _thought_ I saw someone, but I don’t remember anything about them.” She furrowed her brow. Her eyes suddenly popped and she held her index finger up like she’d suddenly had a thought. “Oh, I remember seeing red paint on their shoes. It was the weirdest thing.”

A chill racked Emily’s body.

 _Red paint_.

Alison had mentioned the same thing about the guy at the bar.

It _had_ been the same guy. It couldn’t be a coincidence. It was probably the same person who had tried to run her off the road. It might have even been the same guy the twins had worked with at the Halloween dance. Maybe that’s where the blood red paint had come from.

“Next thing I know I’m waking up, struggling to pull a tube out of my throat. My parents filled me in. My brother found me with an empty syringe sticking out of my arm. I wasn’t breathing. He had to do CPR.”

Emily felt a pang in her chest. She couldn’t imagine losing Maya. Not for real. Even though they’d been separated, she’d always taken comfort in the fact that she was out there somewhere…safe.

“My parents wanted to send me back to rehab, but I’m eighteen. They can’t force me. I told them it will never happen again. It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place. I’m not an addict.”

That’s exactly what Emily had said to her mother the night she found out about Maya.

“Did you tell anyone about this?” Emily questioned.

“No one would believe me.”

“I do.” It was completely plausible, especially considering what Emily knew. “Listen, I think this happened because of me…”

“Stop, Em.” Maya threw her hands up and shook her head. “That’s not everything.”

“It’s not?”

“No. The truth is…” She took a breath and nervously licked her lips, “…the truth is this isn’t the first time someone has tried to come at me. Someone has been harassing me for a few months.”

“What?” Emily’s blood ran cold.

“I thought it was some stalker I met at camp or something. But then I started getting threats that were specific…to _us_. I even got this Snapchat of you in a hospital bed with a cut on your head…”

Emily felt dizzy. How could someone have a picture of her from that night? There had been a very short window of time where she was alone, unless it was someone on the hospital staff. Or perhaps her nightmare about Courtney hadn’t been a nightmare after all…

“I wanted to try and find you. I found your Insta, but it was private. I should have reached out to you sooner, but I was too afraid. This person threatened to hurt you again.” Emily could hear the rage in her voice. “I couldn’t even imagine…I didn’t know what they did to you, but I didn’t want you to get hurt again. I don’t know how you ended up in the hospital or anything, but…I’ve got to ask…” She peered at Emily’s belly again. “You weren’t…um…” She tiptoed around her words, “…no one _forced_ this pregnancy on you, did they?”

“No. Not at all.”

“Good.” Maya breathed a sigh of relief. “Because the more I thought about how this might be connected to that frat party…the more I worried someone tried to recreate that night.” Maya moved her feet out from under her.

“How often do you get the messages?” Emily asked.

“About once a month.” Maya made a face. “It’s like if menstrual cramps were text messages. The first one was harmless. Just kid stuff. But then at Thanksgiving I got that picture of you…”

Emily cocked her head. It was strange that the cyberfreak had held on to the photo for almost a month before sending it. It was very calculated.

“Why were you in the hospital?” Maya asked.

“There was an accident at the school dance. A decoration came loose and hit me over the head. It knocked me out.”

Maya saw the look on Emily’s face.

“It wasn’t an accident, was it?”

“No.”

“I hate that someone did this to you to get to me.” Maya rubbed her face.

“That’s not exactly…” She stuttered nervously, “I…I actually came here today because…”

She thought about the picture of Maya’s hand. Then she thought about the message about dragging people into this. And she froze. Because what if she told Maya the truth and Alison was the next person to face the consequences because of it?

She was torn. She owed Maya the truth. But she couldn’t risk putting Alison’s life in danger. Not again. Someone was playing a game of cat and mouse with her, pitting her past against her present. And she had a choice to make. Maya or Alison.

It wasn’t even a question in her mind.

It was Alison. It would always be Alison.

She looked up at Maya, who had scooted a little closer to her. She was looking at her eagerly as she awaited what she was going to say.

“I came here because I couldn’t stop thinking about that frat party either. We never talked about it. And I felt so guilty for pushing you away after Isaac and Nick came into the picture that night.”

“I didn’t take it personally.” Maya leaned her elbow against the couch, tangling her fingers in her thick coils.

“I should have been there for you. We _both_ got drugged and nearly raped that night. And all I could think about was what it would look like if we held hands in that diner in front of the guys. I was selfish.”

“Em…” She said her name so softly, so kindly. It made Emily’s heart ache. Maya smiled softly and shook her head. “You still do the whole martyr thing. Guess that hasn’t changed. You seriously drove all the way out here to tell me that?”

“You dying sort of prompted me to come check on you.”

“Fair.” Maya nodded. “I hope I didn’t overwhelm you with all of my drama.”

“In case you hadn’t noticed…I have a little drama of my own.” Emily laughed sheepishly as she touched her stomach.

“You certainly have a way of sticking it to your parents.” She looked at Emily’s baby bump. “You really went the distance to stay in the closet, huh?”

“Actually…I came out to them. Last summer.”

“Whoa. So then…” Maya looked confused. “Okay, dish about what’s going on with you then. What did they say? How did _this_ happen?” She waved her hands towards her belly. “And with who? I didn’t even know you liked boys.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh? Someone intersex?” She guessed.

“No.” Emily sighed. Every time she thought about how she had used Isaac she felt guilty. “It’s a really long story.”

“We’ve got time.” Maya smiled. “And apparently a lot to catch up on. You want to go for a cup of coffee?”

She casually reached out and grazed Emily’s arm. Emily tensed up and pulled back.

“I have a girlfriend.” Emily blurted out.

“It’s just a cup of coffee, Em.” Maya laughed. “You came to see me, remember?” She reached into her pocket and typed something into her cell phone. A few seconds later Emily’s phone chirped from inside her pocket. Emily opened the message and saw a photo of Maya and a guy in a basketball jersey. “His name is Deon. He’s my boyfriend. Met him last year.”

“So…” Emily nodded with a sheepish laugh. “I guess we should talk about breaking up.”

Maya laughed, too.

“I guess we should.”

“Over coffee?” Emily suggested. “Or…tea for me.”

“I know just the place.”

Maya went to grab her brother. He drove them to a little coffee shop. He tinkered around on his laptop at another table while the girls talked in a private booth in a different room. It was just the two of them.

Maya told Emily the extent of the bullying that she’d been faced with the past few months. She had been receiving text messages since Thanksgiving, which meant it had started after Emily had started getting her messages. It also meant that someone had slipped in and snapped a picture of Emily in her hospital bed.

The first thing that had popped in her head was the nightmare she’d had about Courtney visiting her. She’d dreamed that she’d had a miscarriage, but none of it had ever happened. There had been no blood. Her baby was perfectly fine.

It _felt_ like Courtney. All signs pointed to her. But it didn’t make sense. Because there was no way a high-schooler could fly across the country any time they wanted just to screw with an old nemesis. It was even _less_ likely with parents like hers. They barely let her or Isaac leave town without interrogating their friends. Even when Courtney had away swim meets her dad went with her.

Isaac told her that Courtney made snide comments about it all the time, talking about how she was legally an adult and that they couldn’t tell her what to do anymore. But her mom and dad pulled the _“you live under my house, you live by my rules”_ thing.

But things seemed to be changing in San Antonio. Isaac had mentioned that Courtney was starting to get her way more, which meant…maybe she was getting away with more.

Talking to Maya brought everything she’d tried to forget about San Antonio bubbling to the surface.

Maya talked about everything she’d been through. Her road had been rough, but she’d made it through. After the move she’d found a new sense of normalcy. She talked about meeting Deon. And she talked about how he’d really brought her out of a dark place. She told Emily that they planned to go through their undergrad programs together. He wanted to be a nurse. She wanted to be a musical therapist. She also wanted to continue playing her music.

Emily nodded and smiled when Maya talked about her college plans. It’s something that she didn’t talk to Alison about a lot. She knew that Alison was waiting to hear back from two places she’d applied to. She didn’t know that Alison had actually already heard back from one of them. The blonde was holding on to a few secrets of her own.

When it was Emily’s turn she opened up about how things had changed for her. She told her about Isaac. She told her how he’d been there for her after she got shipped away. She expected Maya to judge her, but she listened quietly.

Maya saw Emily’s face light up when she talked about Alison. There was a spark in her eyes that she’d never seen before. It was a look she hadn’t even seen when she and Emily were together. Alison didn’t just have a piece of her heart. She had _all_ of it.

They circled back to the texts that Maya had been getting. She said that other than being drugged, she hadn’t been attacked in any other way. She had made all of her socials private just to be on the safe side, and she didn’t use the location on her phone anymore.

Emily was hoping that the physical danger had been a one time thing. She knew that this person was more focused on her, and was likely to lurk closer to Rosewood than DC. But it still concerned her. She told Maya to be careful. She told her to keep her posted.

They talked for nearly two hours before they went back to Maya’s house. They chatted for another hour in her living room. It was starting to get late, and Emily knew she had a long drive back, so she told Maya she needed to get going.

Maya walked her out. They lingered by her car door.

“It was really good to see you, Em. I’ve missed you.” She smiled sadly.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

There was a beat of silence. Maya reached up and wrapped her arms around her chest. She sighed.

“I’m going to be honest…sometimes I wish things could have worked out differently.” She dropped her arms and shoved her hands into her pockets. “I _really_ loved you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.” She looked away. She felt awkward. “I mean, I love Deon. I’m happy with him. I love him so much. But for me…you were my first.”

“I get that.”

But not for the same reason. She understood, because she’d never been able to let go of the torch she had been carrying for Alison since they’d kissed in her treehouse when they were kids. Alison had been _her_ first love.

Maya didn’t miss the expression on Emily’s face. And even though the years had passed she could still read her. She saw the glint of love in her eyes.

“Is she good to you?” Maya asked. “And the baby?”

“Very much so.” Emily smiled.

She never would have dreamed she would be comfortable with her pregnancy, but Alison touching her belly felt natural to her. Alison singing to her daughter made her feel warm inside. It was clear how much the blonde cared about the baby. She was as in love with her daughter as Emily was.

“And you love her?”

“I do.” Emily nodded. Alison could be a wild and crazy bitch sometimes, but Emily loved her.

“I’m glad you found someone. You deserve it. You deserve the best.”

“So do you.” Emily replied with a sincere look on her face.

Maya extended her arms, inviting her in for a hug. Emily accepted. It was strange, because Emily didn’t feel a thing as she pulled Maya close. It was amazing how time managed to heal the broken pieces.

When they pulled away Maya rubbed Emily’s shoulder.

“Take care of yourself, Em.”

“You, too, Maya.” She turned around to climb in the car.

Maya waved to her. Emily lifted her hand and waved back. She reached for her phone and sent her parents a text to let them know she was on her way home. Then she sent a text to Alison.

**_Leaving DC. Should be home in a few hours. Everything ok there?_ **

Alison had been waiting for her text. She was worried about her being by herself and being so far away. She was relieved when she saw the message on her screen. She sent her a quick message back.

 ** _Yes. The parental units are home, so no psycho-murderer dare come within 5 miles of my house._** She’d added an eyeroll emoji. **_They’re screaming at one another. Dad came home smelling like a whore with lipstick on his collar again. At this point I’d probably be safer with the stalker._**

Emily frowned. She hated that Alison lived in such a volatile home environment.

**_Go hang out with Hanna?_ **

**_You mean...like…willingly?_ **

**_God, you’re stubborn. Be there soon._ **

**_Drive safe. Call me when you get home._ **

Emily put her phone down and then waved to Maya one last time before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

She thought she’d feel sad driving away. But it felt like a natural thing to do. It felt like she’d made progress…even though she didn’t have any more answers than she’d had before the visit.

She still wasn’t any closer to her stalker, but she had gotten answers about her past. She’d gotten the closure she’d needed. She felt like she’d been able to let go of some things she’d still been holding on to. And she knew that in the process the pieces of the puzzle were going to come together. Everything was connected. She just had to figure out how.

She put her hand on her stomach. She was running out of time. Her daughter would be here soon, and the last thing Emily wanted was for her to be born into a world of turmoil and danger. The only thing that was keeping her from completely spiraling was the love of a certain blonde, who at that very moment was thinking about just how much she loved her girlfriend and her baby.

Something had changed between the two of them the night they’d exchanged “I love yous”. Something had shifted in their dynamic. They’d had a moment. Their first real moment in which they felt like a family. When Emily’s little girl kicked after Alison told her she loved her it felt like a sign from the universe. Their love was beautiful and natural and meant to be. And it was stronger than any force in the universe.

But would that love be enough to protect Emily’s daughter from the dangers looming in the shadows?

* * *

 **A/N:** _I love making the “I love yous” special. It’s also satisfying as a writer to close chapters of a character’s past...sort of. We all know it’s never quite that simple. At least not in my stories._

_As always, seeing your reviews brightens my day. Maybe I’m just getting sentimental as this story gets closer to its end (since I don’t plan on doing any more), but it just feels nice knowing I’ve had so many awesome people on my writing journey._


	24. Family Ties

**A/N:** _I’ve presented you with another monster chapter (there was a reason I couldn’t split it...the flow depended on it)._

_Rated...not T._

* * *

**Chapter 24:**

**Family Ties**

Alison hated the days when she was stuck at home with her family. She hated listening to her parents snipe at one another. She could hear them arguing downstairs. She put her earbuds in and tried to drown them out. She listened to a few contemporary pieces of music and then a classical set list she’d made years ago that helped naturally calm her down.

She started drawing out musical notes, composing another song for the baby. She liked coming up with lullabies. The baby inspired her in a lot of ways. Emily inspired her. Emily was the reason she’d applied to NYU. Emily was the reason that she’d been able to write her own composition and play it for her highlight reel. Emily was the reason NYU was interested in her.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the letter she’d gotten from the school. She hadn’t told Emily yet. She didn’t want to tell her. She knew what the brunette would say.

 _“I don’t want you giving up your future for us…”_ and blah, blah, blah.

Her phone buzzed. It was Emily. Alison was relieved to hear from her. She’d been trying to give her space while she was in DC. She’d had to stop herself from picking up her phone about a dozen times the past hour. She was glad the vow of silence was over.

**_Leaving DC. Should be home in a few hours. Everything ok there?_ **

Alison pulled her earbuds out of her ears and the thunderous voices from downstairs once again filled her room with her family’s problems. She grumbled under her breath and rolled her eyes. But when she looked at the screen and saw the little bubble with Emily’s picture in her text screen she smiled.

**_Yes. The parental units are home, so no psycho-murderer dare come within 5 miles of my house. They’re screaming at one another. Dad came home smelling like a whore with lipstick on his collar again. At this point I’d probably be safer with the stalker._ **

She’d take her chances with the sociopath at this point. Her parents bickered all the time, but they were apparently really heated tonight.

Alison looked down at Emily’s response.

**_Go hang out with Hanna?_ **

She had considered it. She really had. But then she’d come to her senses. She and Hanna worked best together in _small_ doses. Besides, it was supposed to snow later and the last thing she wanted was to be trapped somewhere with Hanna Marin and her very handsy boyfriend. They were worse with their PDA than she was with Emily.

**_You mean...like…willingly?_ **

**_God, you’re stubborn. Be there soon._ **

Alison smiled. Normally she didn’t like it when people nagged her, but when Emily called her out she found it endearing. Love was a strange thing. She glanced outside, watching the wind in the trees. She knew they were supposed to get a little snow, but it wasn’t supposed to be a big storm. But she didn’t like the idea of Emily out in the midst of it. She was hoping the brunette would be home before it started.

**_Drive safe. Call me when you get home._ **

The shouting from downstairs started to increase in volume. She heard her mother scream something about _“your whores!”_ and then there was a crash. Then silence.

Alison climbed out of bed. She cautiously walked towards her door. She cracked it and peered out into the hallway.

The fighting started up again. This time it was her dad yelling. She tip-toed to the edge of the stairs just like she’d done all the time when she was little. She had a lot of memories from when she and Jason had sat on the top step and listened to their parents sling insults at one another.

Before he’d started drinking to numb the pain he’d been a decent big brother. It was around the time that he started bringing home older guys and experimenting with drugs that he turned into a total tool. But sometimes he did surprise her. Like what he’d done with Ian. Ian hadn’t been around since the night of the party. Jason had gotten a restraining order against him.

She heard her brother’s footsteps approaching just as their father started yelling again.

He was in his boxers. His eyes were red, like he’d just woken up from a weed-nap. His hair was wild and untamed. He yawned, completely oblivious to the fact that he was nearly naked. His boxers were riding so low that his ass was almost hanging out.

“Jesus, do you have an aversion to clothes?” Alison snapped. “Put on some damn pants.”

Most of the problems in their house were due to men who couldn’t keep their clothes on and guys who couldn’t keep their dicks out of other women.

Jason shrugged and scratched his head, jostling his hair. He glanced at her and then looked down the stairs just as their father screamed something about their mother being a _“frigid bitch!”_

He shook his head.

“He’s such a fucking asshole.” He rolled his eyes and continued on his path to the bathroom.

“I’m going to go down there…”

“Stay out of it.” Jason warned her, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

Alison muttered angrily. She had to do every fucking thing herself in her house. She listened to her parents trade insults as she meandered down the steps.

Her mother was picking up pieces of a wine glass that had shattered somehow. If Alison knew her, she’d probably hurled it at her father’s head.

“We have a reputation to uphold in this town!” Her mother screamed. “It reflects poorly on us when you decide to philander around and leave your tiny _appendage_ in _other_ women!”

Alison cringed. She could have gone her entire life without hearing that.

“Would you guys just stop?” Alison growled when she reached the bottom of the steps. “Some of us have to live here, you know.”

“Alison, go back upstairs.” Her father snapped.

“No.” Alison crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly. “Not until you two stop acting like toddlers.”

“Watch your tone.” Her dad glared at her. He was so tense that she could see the tendons in his throat popping out.

“Why? You don’t.”

“What is with this attitude? You know better than to disrespect us…”

“It’s that neighbor girl.” Her mother rolled her eyes. “Ever since they started hanging out she’s become intolerable.”

“How would you know? You _never_ see me!” Alison felt a boiling rage curdling in her stomach. Somehow they’d turned the argument on to her. Everything was somehow _her_ fault. That’s how it always ended up. “Leave Emily out of this. She’s not the one who treats me like shit.”

“We did not raise you to be a petulant little brat.”

Alison had to laugh at her mother scolding her, because that’s _exactly_ who they’d raised her to be. It was only because of Emily that she’d realized there was more to life.

“Maybe she learned it from you, Jessica.” Her dad sneered.

“Go troll the playgrounds for your next girlfriend, Kenneth.” She snapped back.

Her dad reached out and grabbed her mother’s wrist and yanked her forward. He breathed heavily against her face.

Alison didn’t think. She just reacted. She leaped forward and grabbed her dad’s arm with both hands, yanking her mother’s wrist free.

“Stop it!” Alison snarled. “Stop it or I’ll call the fucking cops!”

“That is quite enough of your tantruming.” Her father snatched her wrist just like he’d grabbed her mother.

Her father curled his lip up at her. Before Alison had a chance to react a shadowy blur whizzed between them and struck her dad in his jaw. He let go of Alison and she spun around and saw Jason standing next to her. He’d put on a pair of sweatpants. She hadn’t even heard him come down.

Jason towered over his father. Alison remembered a time when he’d looked tiny in comparison to their dad. But he’d hit a major growth spurt when he was 13. Most of the time he just made snarky comments and hid in his room and smoked weed, but every so often he’d step in when their parents acted like assholes. Their father didn’t hit them, but he did get too physical for Jason’s liking.

Their dad drew back, clutching his jaw. He rubbed the mark that Jason’s fist had left. He sized his son up, taking note of his tension and the way his muscles were bulging. He looked ready for a fight. For a few seconds he looked as though he might challenge the younger boy, but instead he just flew into a rant.

“You two are the most ungrateful ill-mannered brats. This has nothing to do with you…”

“The hell it doesn’t.” Jason pushed Alison behind him, putting himself between the girls and his father.

“You’re being ridiculous.” He scoffed.

“You need to get out of here.” Jason warned. “Go cool down. The weather’s cold enough for it. Why don’t you go find yourself a nice cozy whorehouse and fuck it out of your system, old man?”

The older man looked like he was about to explode. He huffed out an angry snarl and then grabbed his wallet and keys while uttering profanities and growling insulting slights at them. He stormed out.

“That man is so predictable.” Their mother rolled her eyes as they listened to the roaring engine of his little mid-life crisis car revving as he pulled out of the driveway.

“Why do you stay with him?” Alison asked.

“Oh, sweetie…” Her mother gave her a patronizing look. She put her palm against Alison’s cheek, but it was the opposite of motherly. Her fingers were cold and rigid. “You’ll understand when you get older.”

Alison rolled her eyes. She had a feeling that she understood love better than her parents _ever_ had.

“The next time your father and I tell you to do something, you’d better do it.”

“Fine. Next time I won’t intervene and I’ll just let him punch you in the face.” Alison was infuriated.

She was tired of dealing with her mom and dad. She had a taste of normalcy with Emily and her family. The Fields family wasn’t perfect, but they were miles better than her family.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Ali.”

 _Said the woman who literally threw glass at her husband’s face…_ Alison had several choice words for her mother, but she felt Jason’s large palm cupping her shoulder. She glanced at him. He shook his head, advising her not to exacerbate things.

Jessica walked over to her purse and started digging through it. She pulled out a compact mirror and frowned at her reflection.

“Ugh, of course he got me angry enough that I smudged my make-up.” She shook her head in disapproval and then walked off to fix her face.

She flippantly dismissed her startled children and walked out of the room like nothing had happened. She didn’t even bother to clean up the mess she’d made.

“Un-fucking-believable.” Alison snapped the second her mother was gone. She turned to her brother. “Can you believe them?”

“I told you not to come down.” Jason shrugged.

Alison glared at him. She wanted to call him a jackass, but then she remembered that he’d come to her defense when he didn’t have to. So she let it go. She walked over to the shards of glass and started cleaning up her mom’s mess. She was used to it. She’d been doing it for years. Her brother watched her puttering around the living room like a big dumb oaf, never once considering to step in and help her. She wanted to be mad at him, but she knew he just wasn’t good with reading signals. That…and he was high as fuck.

When she sat down in the chair next to the fireplace he surprised her by walking over and plopping down on the arm of the chair next to her. He looked down at her, his eyes partially occluded by his shaggy overgrown bangs.

“You good?” He asked.

“Perfect.” Alison replied sarcastically. She glanced up at her big brother. “You know, you really need to learn how to read the room.”

“Mom and dad are never going to change.” Jason glanced at a portrait of their family on the wall. They both hated the picture. It was so fake. “You need to learn to accept it.”

“I’ve been doing that for eighteen years. It’s not working for me anymore.”

“Look, you’re my sister…and I love you. But you pick the wrong battles. _All the time_.”

Jason had no idea the battles that she was fighting. He had no idea that every day felt like a war zone. She only put up with it because of how much she loved Emily.

“They know how to get under your skin. You can’t let them do that.” Jason stared at the portrait. His gaze was fixed on their parents, who were hiding behind tight smiles that were forced and cheap. “Just ignore them.”

“You had to turn to booze and drugs to do that.” Alison chastised him. “You really think I could find a healthy coping mechanism if you couldn’t?”

He sighed, his shoulders bunching up before he let them drop again.

“I was always hopeless…”

“Jase…” She frowned at him. “You’re not hopeless.”

“I kind of am,” he said. “But you’ve got something I never had.”

“Common sense?” Alison guessed, shoving him with a teasing smile.

He shoved her back.

“That girl from the wrong side of the tracks that mom and dad hate so much.” He’d heard what his mother had said about her when he was on his way down the stairs. He could only imagine how much the statement had upset his sister.

“I really wish they wouldn’t talk about her like she’s some gutter snipe. It pisses me off.”

“That’s why they do it. They want you to screw it up. They want to mold you to be some trophy wife for some Ken doll in their pathetic WASPy little club.” Jason pushed himself to his feet. “Look, this Emily chick…you really love her?”

“More than anything. And you know what that means. You know how stunted we are because of our idiot parents.”

“Then just forget about mom and dad. Don’t play into their hand.” Jason ran his fingers through his hair. “We’ve been manipulated by them our entire lives. At some point, we have to stop it. So just…do your thing with your little rebel.” He shrugged and moved towards the stairs. He glanced back at her. “She’s kind of cute. I get what you see in her.”

“Eyes off my girlfriend, you perv,” she said, a wavering smile on her face. Because she knew he was teasing her.

“I really do like her for you. Always have. Ever since she reamed my ass out I realized she would always put you before anything else. That’s more than I can say for anyone in our family, including me.”

“You were a kid in a fucked up mess, too. It shouldn’t have fallen on you.”

“Shouldn’t have. But it did. And I fell down on the job. Glad purple-haired Barbie was there to pick you up. I owe her a beer.”

“You are _not_ getting my girlfriend drunk…”

“Why? Afraid she’ll fall for my charm?” He raised his brows, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief.

“First of all, you have _zero_ charm.” Alison laughed. “Second, you’re not her type.” She made a face at him.

“I’m everyone’s type.” He gave her a cocky look, shaking his head, which made his bangs sweep across his face.

“You need a haircut!” She said as she watched him walk towards the stairs.

“Don’t tell me how to live my life.”

He bounded up the stairs. A few minutes later she heard his bedroom door close. She sat in the living room, trying to process everything she was dealing with. It wasn’t just the stress of Emily’s pregnancy or the stalker after them. She couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that she was just months away from getting a diploma, which she’d always seen as her means to branch out away from Rosewood…away from her family.

She glanced at the bookshelf, where every book was in perfect alignment with each other. She’d made sure it stayed that way, because her mother was particular about things looking pristine for when they had company over. But that’s not the reason she cared if it looked perfect.

The bookcase had held Alison’s secrets over the years. There was a mounted stand beside the shelf that had a hidden slot that no one knew about. It was perfect because no one in her family cared to be literate.

She’d hidden the letter she’d received from NYU nearly a week ago. She’d been surprised to hear back from them so soon. She assumed it was a rejection, but when she held the packet in her hand she realized it was far too heavy to just be a simple, _“we regret to inform you…”_ letter.

She had opened it and read the contents, but before she’d had a chance to process it she’d gotten Emily’s text.

_“ **I need you.”**_

That had overridden everything in her mind. She’d quickly popped it into the hiding spot. She hadn’t looked at it since.

NYU could be her ticket out of the hellhole that was Rosewood. The only thing keeping her around was Emily. She knew what Emily would say once she found out about it.

She thought about pulling it out and looking at it again. She stood up and slowly moved towards the bookcase.

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. She knew it was too soon for it to be Emily, so she took her time answering it.

She glanced through the peephole and saw Noel Kahn staring back at her. She opened the door with a scowl on her face.

“What are you doing here?” She maneuvered her body into the entryway, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Hello to you, too.” Noel scoffed. “Got a few minutes?”

“None that I want to waste on you.”

“Don’t be like that. I need to talk to you.”

“Do you know how creepy it is…showing up here after all the shit you’ve pulled? You’re lucky I don’t punch you in the teeth.”

“Thought that was Montgomery’s job.” Noel shot her a cocky smile as he reached up and swiped his thumb against his nose.

“You know, considering how many people have punched you and _want_ to punch you maybe it’s time for you to do some self-reflection.” The tendons in her wrist started throbbing because she was clenching her fist so tight.

“Come on, drop the attitude for five minutes. I just want to talk…”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Alison started to push the door closed.

His hand shot up and pushed back against it. He shoved his foot in front of the door.

“What if I told you that I know what you and your little girlfriend are up to with Kate Spade and Techno Boy?”

Alison’s heart seized in her chest. Was this it? Was this the moment that Noel came forward and told her that he was in on everything?

“What are you talking about?” The response came out strained. Her mouth felt like sandpaper.

“Invite me in and find out.”

Alison’s eyes nervously darted to Noel. She cautiously opened the door. Her brother and her mother were both home. Noel wouldn’t be able to get away with anything. All she had to do was scream. She kept her distance as he walked into the foyer. She closed the front door.

“Been a long time since I’ve been here.” Noel looked over at the piano. “Then again, we didn’t spend much time in this part of the house, did we? Your room still in the same place?”

“Fuck you, Noel.”

“That’s no way to talk to your house guest.”

“Clearly you’ve never been an actual house guest in the DiLaurentis house.”

“We here alone?” Noel asked, arching his neck back to look up around the vast open space of Alison’s house.

“Creepy thing to ask. Why don’t you try me and find out?” Alison challenged.

“I didn’t come here to fight with you.” He turned around to face her. He laughed at the distance between them. “What’s the matter, Ali? Afraid of me?”

“Just tell me what you want and then get out.” Alison gritted through her teeth.

“Cindy and Mindy said you were sniffing around.” He tapped the top of the piano. His fingers made a thunking sound.

“So?”

“So you need to stop digging before you get hurt.” He frowned, his brow furrowed in a scowl.

“Is that a threat?”

“No. Consider it a warning. I owe Emily a debt…”

“You’re not the fucking Godfather.” Alison scoffed.

“I’m serious, Alison. You don’t want to go toe-to-toe with Wilden.”

“What does he want with us?” Alison inched closer to him. She stopped when she reached the edge of the piano.

“With… _you_?” He cocked his head in confusion. “You’re the ones sneaking around stalking _him_. I don’t know what your endgame is, but if you’re not careful this won’t end well for you two. Or that little bun Emily has baking…”

“If you or anyone else does _anything_ to hurt them I will rain down fire on your head and watch you burn, you feel me?” Alison moved next to him, a power move to show him she wasn’t afraid.

“I am _trying_ to help you.” He threw his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know what you _think_ you’ve got on him, but trust me…you don’t know the half of it.”

“Then enlighten me.”

“The twins said you were asking questions about his family.” Noel ran his fingers across a picture frame of her family. He picked it up and stared at the photo.

“Yeah, a family they claim to know nothing about.”

“Some people have complicated home lives.” Noel shrugged as he put the photo down. “You, of all people, should know that.”

Everything he said sounded like there was a double-meaning to it, and she didn’t like it.

“Why did you come here? What do you want?”

Noel picked up a snowglobe that was sitting on a shelf, rolling it around in his hand. Alison glowered at him. Emily had given it to her after they’d had their first snow day together. She tensed up, worried that he was going to drop it. But he put it down gently and turned to face her.

“Wilden’s bail was paid by an anonymous donor. He had to put up all of his aunt’s assets as collateral as well. But when you think about it…who is going to front that kind of cash to an accused pedophile? Who even _has_ that kind of cash?”

“Your family. My family. Half the people in Rosewood.”

“He’s not hanging out with anyone in Rosewood. Aside from Cindy and Mindy. And they’re just peons for his drug circle.” Noel sat against the piano bench.

“So he _is_ slinging steroids.”

“It’s not a big thing. Everyone makes it a bigger deal than it is.”

“You were a total monster on them.”

“I was a total monster before. You know that. Besides, the drugs isn’t even the half of what he’s in to. I don’t know the full story, but I’ve seen him with people that don’t hang out in our little town.” Noel gave Alison a knowing smile.

“Who?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do they look like?”

“I’ve only seen them from a distance. They seem to be _very_ good at getting in and out undetected.”

“So basically you know nothing?”

“I know that he’s up to something with out-of-town interlopers that he probably owes a debt to.”

“But why? Who?”

“Whoever it is clearly has money, smarts, and power. Lethal combination. That’s why I came here to warn you. You need to let your vendetta go. Don’t let _your_ arrogance come back on the people you love.” He glanced at Alison’s phone. He saw the lockscreen of Emily.

Noel had no idea what kind of hell she and Emily were living through. Someone had already declared war on them. Noel had seen enough to know that. He’d seen what happened at the dance. He’d been there the night the scaffolding fell outside the gym. He knew they were in _physical_ danger.

“We have footage of him meeting up with Cindy and Mindy. It’s against his probation.” Alison grimaced.

“So then what are you waiting for? Turn it in if you think he’s guilty. You never seemed to have a problem singing like a damn canary before.”

“It’s not _if_. He is _definitely_ guilty. And you don’t get to dictate anything here.”

“Whatever you say, DiLaurentis…”

They heard footsteps approaching. Alison breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother’s heels slapped loudly against the floor.

Noel stood up to greet her.

“Oh, Noel, dear. It’s so nice to see you. How are your parents?” Her mother practically fell all over herself to fawn on him.

The Kahns were a very prominent family in town. And for the very brief period of time that Alison had dated him her mother had tried to push them closer, which only made Alison want to rebel. Her mother was like the matchmaker from hell.

“He was just leaving.” Alison nudged him towards the door.

“Me too. What a coincidence. I’ll walk you out. Perhaps you can tell me more about the investment your father is looking into this quarter.”

Just like always, her mother had managed to make it all about her. She pulled her keys out and slung her purse over her shoulder. She faced Alison.

“You’re on your own for tonight. I’ve got a late night planned with my book club. I’ll be staying with Karen and Kathy at Karen’s place.”

Her “book club” was code for getting drunk with a bunch of other affluent women.

“What are you reading?” Alison asked in a snotty tone, knowing she wouldn’t have an answer.

“Oh, nothing you’d be interested in.” She glossed over the answer.

She walked out with Noel, but not before he turned around and flashed her a meaningful sincere look.

Alison sat in silence for several seconds, completely unnerved about the whole thing. His visit had unsettled her. She felt like she’d learned a lot of information, but that it was written in some code she didn’t understand.

Who would have swooped in to town to take a failed High School Coach under their wing? Maybe there was more to his story. Maybe there was more to his family. Maybe she’d seen someone that _looked_ like Wilden that night. Would that even be possible? Did he have any siblings? It could also explain how the person who set up the dance was able to get hooked up with the dance committee as a volunteer. He easily could have played a role in everything. He’d have the motive.

Alison looked at her phone. She didn’t have any new texts. She was irritated that Emily hadn’t blown up her phone with updates on her drive home. She was also equally as proud of her for driving safe.

Alison scrolled through until she found Caleb’s number. He’d given it to her to keep in contact after she got a brand new tamper-proof phone.

**_Hey, how are we coming on the DNA tests from the bar?_ **

Fifteen minutes later he responded,

**_Should have results any day now._ **

She knew it was a long shot, but maybe someone _had_ seen something. Maybe someone had seen Wilden.

She flipped the piano keyboard cover open. She put her earbuds back in and started working on a new song. But this one wasn’t for NYU. She was writing her own composition for Emily and the baby. Because in a mad world, only her family...her _chosen_ family...made sense to her.

* * *

Emily was about halfway home when it started to rain. It gradually built into sleet. Thick sheets of wet mushy snow started to form on the road. It was a reminder to her that she needed to slow down.

Her mind had been whirling constantly at high speed, even more-so since her visit with Maya. She was trying to come to terms with the fact that she’d finally seen her again after losing her. She was also trying to deal with the added pressure of Maya nearly dying.

She felt the baby stirring, followed by several kicks. She took one hand off of the steering wheel and placed it on her stomach to soothe her daughter.

“It’s okay. I know it’s been a crazy day, but everything is alright. We’re going to be okay.” She felt another tremor, then another kick.

It reminded Emily of seeing a child flat on their back screaming in a department store while their tired mother just reached down to drag their squalling baby out.

“Having our first tantrum, are we?” A crooked smile tugged against Emily’s face. There was another powerful hit. “I know. I know. I understand your frustration. But now is not the time to work on your Kung-fu, okay? Mommy is trying to drive here.”

The baby was vibrant and active for the next several miles. Emily kept talking to her while keeping her eyes focused on the road.

“I wish Alison was here to sing you to sleep. I bet you’d like that.” There was a pause. The kicking was still there, but it wasn’t as sharp. And Emily knew why. There was something about Alison that always calmed her little one. “You love her, don’t you?”

There was a thump against Emily’s palm. Then another. The movement was starting to settle down.

“You want to know something?” Emily took a deep breath, letting her stomach rise and fall beneath her palm. “I do, too. I love her more than anything.”

She hadn’t known what to expect when she went to see Maya. She knew why the blonde was afraid of her seeing her ex. She’d been a little bit afraid that old feelings might resurface. But there was nothing. She’d felt nothing. She was happy for Maya and her boyfriend.

“Love is a weird thing.” Emily said out loud, knowing very well that it was a strange thing to talk to an unborn child about, but she felt like her little one was always listening…always learning. And she wanted to teach her so many things. “I can’t really explain it. Then again, maybe I don’t need to. Because it’s not something that really needs words. It just _is_.”

She paused thoughtfully.

“Like…I know you love me. I know it in my heart. Because you’re the reason my heart is beating. I just _feel_ it. You know when someone loves you. And you know when they love you back. Because you give and you don’t expect anything in return. That’s love. It’s when your heart speaks for you. But it’s quiet. It whispers softly. You have to listen closely. But it’s there.”

The more she spoke, the less the baby squirmed. It’s like she’d stopped to listen. It’s like she knew what Emily was saying.

“You’ll see. You’ll see what it’s like, sweet girl. You will. Because I’m certain there is nothing on earth that I will ever love more than I love you.”

Her daughter wasn’t restless anymore, so Emily went back to focusing on the drive.

The weather had deteriorated rapidly by the time she was crossing the Pennsylvania state line. She was ten miles outside of Rosewood when it turned into a full blown winter storm. She slowed the car down to a crawl. The sound of the snow sloshing against the road was eerie. The windshield wipers hummed against the freezing glass.

She’d learned to drive in Texas, which meant she had learned to drive in tornadoes, not in snowstorms. She’d gotten in a little winter driving with her dad during December, but nothing to this extent.

She drove several miles, but then visibility dropped to nearly zero. She couldn’t see the road in front of her. She wasn’t sure what to do.

She saw a sudden flash of light from the opposite direction. All she could picture was the night she almost crashed her bike. This time, the other car just casually passed her.

But her heart was still jumping in her chest. She pulled the car off to the side of the road to calm down and try to wait it out.

She thought for sure she could make it the last two miles, but when she went to put the car in drive and put her foot on the gas the engine made a strange noise. After a few seconds it sputtered and then died.

“No no no…” Emily grabbed the keys and fiddled with them, trying to get the ignition to turn over. “Come on…stupid piece of…”

The engine choked and then died again. She grumbled in frustration and slammed her palms against the steering wheel.

“This is why cars are trash,” she muttered.

 _This_ was why she loved her bike. It was more reliable. She’d never had trouble with it. Then again, it was miserable to ride in poor weather.

She reached for her phone only to find that it had no service. There was an emergency alert about the weather and a note that cell towers were jammed because of the storms.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she grumbled.

She peered outside at the growing accumulation of snow on the windshield. She thought about her options. She could wait to see if anyone else came by, though the likelihood wasn’t high that anyone would be out in this storm. And even if someone did come by they wouldn’t know to stop unless she stood outside the car and flagged them down.

“Guess we’re going for a hike.” Emily peered down at her belly.

Talking to her child was coming more naturally to her. She felt like she wasn’t alone, which helped considering it was dark and cold outside.

She was halfway between a gas station and her house. Either way, it was only two miles. She knew her dad kept an emergency kit in the trunk, so she dug out a coat and gloves and bundled up. She found some plastic bags and used them to cover her shoes so the cold wet snow wouldn’t soak through them. She grabbed her phone and the keys and locked the car. Then she started on her trek home.

The cold didn’t really hit her until she was half a mile from her neighborhood. Her belly was warm, but her fingers and toes were starting to get numb. Her face felt like ice. Her lips were chapped and her eyes were dry. But she managed to make it to her street. She could see the lights on her front porch.

But she didn’t go home first. She went to Alison’s house. Her teeth were chattering as she climbed the porch stairs. She’d gotten so used to being hot all the time that she’d forgotten how miserable it was to be cold.

She tried knocking first, but her gloved hands barely made a sound, so she rang the doorbell. A few seconds later the door swung open.

“There you are.” Alison smiled warmly.

Emily stepped forward into the porch light and Alison saw her bright red cheeks and her puffy chapped lips. It took a moment for her to register that she was wet and shivering. Alison looked around, but didn’t see her parent’s car.

“What happened?” Alison’s eyes widened.

“Car broke down.”

“And you walked in this? What the hell? Are you okay?” Alison reached up to touch her cheek. It felt like a block of ice.

“Uh…a little cold. But I wanted to see you. I _needed_ to see you.” After her visit with Maya she had only been able to think about one thing: getting home to the love of her life.

“Jesus, get in here.” Alison pulled her off of the porch. “Sit.” She grabbed her and pulled her towards the couch. “I’ll get a fire going.”

“Do you even know how to build a fire?” Emily asked skeptically.

“Shut up. Sit down.” She shoved Emily down and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch. She wrapped it around Emily’s shoulders.

“I don’t want to disturb your parents…” She pulled her gloves off. The heat in the room burned her cold fingers.

“Only person we’re disturbing is Jason. And he was _already_ disturbed. My parents aren’t home. They stormed out after their fight earlier. Mom is drinking her weight in wine at a friend’s place and dad will end up in a motel with someone my age.”

“I’m sorry.” Emily hated that Alison had to deal with her parents’ drama.

“Don’t be. I’m better off without them here anyway.” She started messing around at the fireplace.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Emily reached down and pulled the bags off of her shoes.

“You help just by being in my life.” Alison reached into the fireplace.

Emily watched her move some things around. She pulled her shoes off. The bags had kept her feet dry.

“Ah ha.” Alison made a triumphant noise as she pushed something up inside the chimney. “Got it.”

She stood up and pressed a button. The fireplace was mostly automatic. All she had to do was put kindling on and hit the button. She got it started without a problem and then joined Emily on the couch.

Emily could see a mixture of emotions in her eyes. She could tell that Alison was worried, but there was also an inkling of pain on her face. Alison had a habit of pushing her feelings about her family aside.

“Are you okay?” Emily brushed Alison’s hair out of her face.

“I’m not the one who just walked through Snowmaggedon.” She touched her cheek and frowned in concern. “God, you’re freezing.”

“I’ll be fine.” Emily put her hand on Alison’s wrist. Her fingertips were cold.

“Sweetie…” Alison put her other hand on top of Emily’s shaky hand. “You’re shivering.”

Emily was _never_ cold.

“So are you.” Emily could feel Alison trembling. But she knew it wasn’t from the cold. She pulled her closer.

“It’s been a weird night.” Alison glanced at the snowglobe that Noel had manhandled earlier. “Noel came by.”

“For what?” Emily’s eyebrows shot up in concern.

Noel hadn’t even been a blip on their radar lately. He’d been steering clear of them at school. He never bothered Emily when he was at the gym.

“He says that Wilden’s bail was paid by some anonymous donor. He made it sound like he’s got…connections of some kind. Like…friends or family in high places.”

“I doubt even _those_ friends could get him out of trouble if we sent that video of him and the twins to the cops.” Emily suggested.

“It won’t be admissible in court. It’s too dark to see their features. They can’t prove it was him. And you can’t really see Cindy or Mindy either. Hanna and I already looked into it.”

“Oh.” Emily looked down at her feet.

She hadn’t been entirely present the past week. Her mind had been so consumed with Maya that she’d missed more than she cared to admit. The pregnancy brain didn’t help.

“I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. You’ve had a lot going on…”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not here for you, too.”

“I know.” Alison nodded with a sigh. She played with Emily’s fingers. “Noel knows we have the video. He called my bluff. Told me to turn it over to the cops. He seems to think Wilden has people sneaking across the border to help.”

“What…like…from Canada or something?” Emily asked in confusion.

“Rosewood’s borders.” Alison chuckled. She realized she should have clarified. “He doesn’t think the people who are helping him live here in town. And I’ve got to say…after seeing what I saw that day with Hanna, I bet he’s right.”

“You think this girl in the red coat is real?”

“I don’t know. None of it makes any sense.” Alison rubbed her temple. She could feel the tension crawling down her spine.

Emily’s cool fingers landed on the back of Alison’s neck. She pushed her hair aside and started working on the knot that was forming there.

“God, you’re so tense. He really upset you, didn’t he?” Her nostrils flared in anger. She was going to slip laxatives in Noel’s sports drink the next time she saw him at the gym.

“It’s not just him.” Alison looked up at her sadly.

She didn’t have to say anything else for Emily to understand that her parent’s argument was weighing heavily on her.

“How bad was the fight?”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Alison shrugged, trying to turn away.

Alison refused to let others see how much her parents hurt her. Emily understood that, because her parents weren’t perfect either.

“You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, Ali.” She stroked the side of Alison’s neck.

Alison shivered because her hands were so cold. Emily started to pull away, but Alison grabbed her fingers.

“It’s just hard, you know? They should care.” Her lip quivered. “Why don’t they care? Why don’t they love me like you love your baby?”

“I don’t know.” Emily sighed. “But they’re crazy if they don’t care about you.”

“Parents suck.” Alison pushed her lips out into a pout. She glanced at Emily’s stomach and then quickly added, “Except you. You’re going to be a great mom.”

“I hope. But being a parent is complicated.” She put her hand on her stomach. Emily’s phone chimed. It was ironic that she was getting service the second she was safe and warm. “Speaking of….” She reached into her pocket. “I need to call my mom and dad. I couldn’t get a signal earlier. They’re probably worried. Plus their car is by the side of the road two miles away from here.”

“ _Two miles_? You walked _two miles_ in these temperatures?”

“I didn’t want to wait. I have something important to say to you…” She reached for her hands. Alison cupped her palms around Emily’s fingers to try and warm her up. Emily met her gaze. “I love you, Alison.”

Alison cocked her head. It was a strange moment to hear it, but she loved hearing it.

“You walked two miles in the snow to tell me that?”

“I said it before,” Emily said. “I meant it before. And I’m saying it again. Because I realized something today when I was talking to Maya.” She moved their joined hands up to her lips and kissed Alison’s knuckles. “It was always you. It’s always been you. Ever since we were kids. I don’t think I ever would have gotten over you. I fell in love with you when we kissed. And I’ve felt it every day since then, but I was so worried about saying it too soon or moving too fast that I didn’t always say it when I was feeling it.”

Her hands were shaking, but Alison couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or because of her emotions.

“I think it dawned on me that loving someone and losing them is just…terrifying.” She wasn’t just thinking about Maya. She was thinking about all the times she could have lost the baby. She was thinking about Alison being drugged. “Knowing you love someone is easy. But admitting it out loud means that you have someone so important…so much a part of you…that losing them would mean that you would never be whole again. Because it’s like…you’re sharing your heartbeat with them. I feel that with you.”

“I feel that, too.” Alison said quietly, smiling at Emily through tears of joy.

“After I almost lost you I realized the importance of saying that every time you feel it…every time you say goodbye. Because what we’re going through is dangerous. And I worry that every time might be the last time. And I want you to know that. I don’t want you to ever doubt that I love you. I am so insanely in love with you that it’s a little bit intimidating. And you _know_ I don’t scare easy. I just…I needed to tell you that.”

Alison wasn’t sure how to respond with words, so instead she responded by grabbing Emily’s coat and pulling her in for a kiss. Her lips were cool from being outside, but Alison knew she could warm them up.

She put her hand against Emily’s side, but all she could feel was the padding from her coat. She felt Emily moving and seconds later she was shrugging out of the heavy garment.

Emily felt Alison’s fingertips against her arms as she helped her pull the damp article of clothing off. She could feel Emily trembling, so she pulled her closer as she deepened the kiss.

Alison curled her legs up on to the couch and gently pressed against Emily’s shoulder, trying to get her to lie back on the sofa. Normally, Emily resisted being told what to do, but she was too tired to fight her. She pulled her legs up on to the couch. Alison straddled her and leaned over her.

Alison’s warm hands were all over her body. It didn’t take long before their body heat started to bring Emily’s temperature back to normal. Alison nuzzled up against her, kissing the side of her neck and squirming in between the couch and Emily’s side.

“You’re not cold anymore.” Alison whispered against her ear, eliciting a smile from her girlfriend.

Alison curled up as close as she could get to her and pulled the blanket down around them. The fire crackled beside them. The heat from the flames warmed them. Alison laid next to her silently. She was so comfortable that she started to drift off to sleep.

Emily stayed awake. She mindlessly ran her fingers through Alison’s hair. She kissed the top of her head and moved her chin up against her skull. She’d watched Alison sleep before, but something about this time felt different. Because she realized that being with her made her feel whole.

* * *

Emily drifted in and out of a dreamlike state. The baby had been really active, which kept waking her up. Every time she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was Alison’s face against her shoulder. Her lips were slightly parted. Her shallow breaths tickled Emily’s neck. She looked perfectly content.

Alison’s body heat felt like a breath of fresh air. She was rattled from Maya’s near death experience and she was worried about what the psycho behind the scenes was going to do next. But the world felt calm and safe when she had Alison in her arms.

“Emily…” Alison mumbled.

Emily looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed.

“Yeah?”

Alison didn’t respond. She just smiled. Then she mumbled something under her breath. She nuzzled against Emily and sighed.

“You’re so warm.” Her eyelids twitched. Emily realized she was still asleep. “So beautiful…” She muttered. “My mermaid…”

Emily smiled in amusement. It was one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen. She listened as Alison murmured incoherent things for a few minutes.

“I wished for you.”

Emily smiled when she thought about that day at the wishing well. It was one of the first times she’d seen Alison let her guard down. She’d seen the real girl underneath the false bravado she put on for everyone else.

“You got me,” Emily whispered back.

“Mmm.” Alison curled her fingers into Emily’s shirt, gripping the fabric.

Emily tightened her grip on the blonde. She had to readjust their position. She shifted her body weight. Alison stirred in her unconscious state and moved closer to her.

Alison sleepily lifted her head, her eyes heavy. She glanced over and saw Emily studying her face.

“What?” Alison asked. “Did I drool or something?” She reached up to wipe her mouth, but it was bone dry.

“No.” Emily smiled, a crinkle in her brow. “You were talking in your sleep.”

“Well, now that you know about the murder I’m covering up you’re an accomplice. Can I count on you to keep quiet?” Alison’s dimples topped off the cheeky smile on her face.

“Of course. Ride or die, remember?”

Alison snickered and then buried her face into Emily’s body. She kissed her neck.

“What time is it?” Alison asked.

Emily reached for her phone.

“Ten.”

“Oh, wow. Did I keep you up or did you get a nap in?”

“I got a little rest, but I kept waking up.” Emily moved her hand to the front of her stomach. “She’s been kicking like crazy.”

“She has?” Alison’s face softened.

“Mmhmm.”

Alison smiled and laid her palm against Emily’s stomach. She didn’t feel anything at first, but she waited patiently. Moments later she felt a flutter against her palm. Alison smiled. The baby had a direct line to her heart.

“Hey there, little girl.” Alison spoke softly. “You need to let your mommy get some rest. She’s had a rough week.”

Emily felt her bladder spasm. Her child was a stubborn little jokester.

“She’s using my bladder as a beanbag chair.”

Emily sat up, moving Alison with her. She didn’t want to leave their embrace.

They heard a loud honk out front. It sounded like it was right in front of Alison’s house. Seconds later, Jason came bounding down the stairs, taking them two at a time. He was bundled up in a bunch of winter gear. He looked more like a little boy getting ready to go out and throw snowballs than he looked like a grown man who was supposed to be a college graduate in a few months.

He saw the flames dancing in the fireplace.

“Hey, you got the fire going without blowing the house up.” Jason smiled.

“It may surprise your primitive little brain, but women are capable of _many_ things you cave-person.”

“I’m just saying…you and fire don’t mix.”

Emily glanced at Alison curiously.

“I may have had a couple of incidents at a luau my parents threw a few years ago,” Alison explained. “A tablecloth may have been a casualty. And the neighbor’s cat was a little singed. It was fine. It was no big deal.”

Jason angled his brows down and gave her a cynical look.

“She pushed me into a bonfire last year.”

“You jumped out of the shadows and scared the shit out of me!” Alison grumbled in defense.

The horn from outside started blaring again.

“Where are you going?” Alison questioned.

“Got a buddy stuck in the snow a few miles away from campus. Garrett and I are taking his truck to bail him out…” Of course his friends overcompensated with their big toys. “And then we’re going to crash in the dorms. Apparently no one is watching campus, because school is cancelled tomorrow. We’re going to make some giant snow dicks outside of the Admin building and the Dean’s office.”

“Charming.” Alison rolled her eyes.

Jason lifted one of his brows and grinned. He glanced at Emily, who was wrapping the blanket around herself to try and subtly keep her stomach hidden.

“I hope your intentions with my baby sister are nothing but honorable, Harley Quinn.”

“Says the guy going to erect giant phalluses outside an educational structure.” Emily retorted.

Jason snorted.

“ _Erect_ …” He muttered under his breath with a dumb chuckle.

“Oh my God, go away.” Alison groaned, her face flushing in embarrassment.

“You two crazy kids have fun.” He smiled, but then his smile faded and he tried to look serious. “But not too much fun.”

He slung the front door open just as the horn blared again.

“I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO HONK AT, ASSHOLE!” He grabbed his crotch and gyrated his hips forward in a lewd manner.

He stuck his tongue out with a grin and bit down. The honk turned into little subtle repetitive beeps of approval. There was a howl and then a whistle.

“GET YOUR PRETTY ASS OUT HERE, DILAURENTIS!” Garrett yelled out his truck window.

“I’M COMING DICKWAD!” He slammed the door behind him.

“Ugh, he is so vile.” Alison complained.

“You could have worse.” Emily swung her legs out. Her bare feet hit the floor.

“I guess.” Alison leaned back to stretch. “He’s a big oaf, but at least he kind of loves me. Though sometimes I wish I was an only child.”

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Emily arched her back. She had been starting to feel the extra weight lately. “Sometimes I wonder if things would have been easier for me if I had a sibling to talk to.”

“If it makes you feel any better most siblings don’t talk. We throw things at each other and fight, and in my brother’s case…fart into my face.”

“Delightful.” Emily chuckled sarcastically. “Yet, despite all that I still wonder…” She made a face. “Maybe things would have been different. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so worried about what my parents would think of me.”

“But then we’d never be here.” She put her hands against Emily’s sides.

“I _am_ thankful for that.” Emily nodded.

“Did you ever get lonely?” Alison touched her hand.

“Sometimes. Kind of. But not terribly lonely. I found things that made me happy. I’ve always believed that happiness comes from within. I found my peace in riding. I found my endurance in boxing. And I found my center in swimming.”

“And now you can’t do any of those things regularly.” Alison frowned in sympathy.

“True.” Emily glanced at Alison. She grasped her hand. “But I’m also not alone anymore.”

“If you really want a brother I’ll give you Jason for free. As a matter-of-fact, I’d _pay_ you to take him. God, could you imagine him as an uncle?”

“Maybe we don’t leave the baby in his care unless we want to come home and find her with a fake mustache and tattoos drawn on her in sharpie.”

Alison almost swooned. _We._ She’d said _we_. She knew it was strange to latch on to that part of Emily’s statement, but any time Emily talked about them as a family she felt complete.

“She’d look real cute in a Harley Davidson get-up. Little doo-rag on her head...”

“Mommy’s little badass.” Emily laughed.

“She is.” Alison kissed her. “And _you_ are, too. Jason is afraid of you.”

“No, he’s not.” Emily brushed it off.

“He is!” Alison insisted. “And rightfully so. I know you could kick his ass. All he ever did for me was draw on my face with his magic markers.” She rolled her eyes. “I maintain that you were lucky to be an only child.”

“I guess. I mean, I know that having brothers and sisters isn’t always a love-fest. I saw it in action with Isaac and Courtney.”

Alison’s face tightened at the mention of Emily’s nemesis. That psycho had hurt her girl. Her cheeks filled with patchy red blotches. Her eyes were twitching. Every time she thought about Courtney she felt like hopping on a plane to Texas and delivering justice.

“She’s thousands of miles away, Alison.” Emily put her hand on Alison’s shoulder to calm her down. She was like a raging bull, snorting heat out of her nose.

“What if it’s her?” Alison questioned. “What if _she’s_ red coat?”

Originally, Emily thought it was out of the question, but after her talk with Maya she wasn’t so sure.

“Maya told me that she’s been getting texts, too,” Emily said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Not as many and not as aggressive, but she showed them to me. They sound like the same person.”

“So…it _could_ be Courtney?”

Everything fit. There was a giant red arrow pointing directly to the demented blonde, but Emily just couldn’t make sense of it.

“I…I don’t know. It’s just not practical. It _can’t_ be…right?”

“When people fall off of the deep end they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get what they want.” Alison’s eyes traced Emily’s body. “Believe me, I know. And you said her boyfriend lives in New York. _And_ she was in town when I did my campus tour with Aria.”

“But the girl in the red coat you tackled was a complete stranger.” Emily reached for her phone. She pulled up her photo gallery, searching for a particular picture.

“Courtney _is_ a stranger to me.” Alison reminded her.

“Ali, you studied her photo for like two days before you took that trip. And you stalked Bethany Young online for two weeks. There was no connection.”

“I’m telling you…” Alison grimaced, “…something is off here. Do you ever get that feeling needling you…and you just know your inner voice is trying to tell you something?”

“Every single day.” Emily sighed.

She kept scrolling through her pictures until she found the one she was looking for. It was a picture of her with Isaac, Courtney, and Nick. Her parents had insisted on taking a picture of the four of them one day at church, just weeks before Emily had broken things off with Isaac.

Emily zoomed in on Courtney. It was a pristine image of her. Then again, Courtney was a pristine person. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t deleted the photo.

Isaac was in his Sunday best. His parents always insisted on dress pants and a flashy shirt with a sports coat. He tied it all together with a hat.

Courtney was in a fiery dress that should have never been seen in the likes of church, but Emily imagined she’d thrown a tantrum until she’d gotten her way.

Nick wasn’t dressed for the occasion. He really only showed up to church for Courtney. He was sporting an emo hairstyle where his bangs were falling into his eyes. He had a shaggy beard and goatee, courtesy of his father’s very hairy genes.

“Besides Maya, they were my only friends back in Texas.” Emily stared at the photo. “I mean, I guess it’s possible someone else did some digging and was able to find some things out about me that way…”

She thought back to the day she’d had her first showdown with Wilden, and how he’d seemed to know things about her from her “transcript” that didn’t seem typical.

“Maya and I did piss off an entire frat house. It’s not out of the question that someone there or someone who knows the boys who got in trouble are seeking revenge. But other than that it was just us…”

She showed Alison the photo.

At first, all Alison saw was Emily. Her little rebel was wearing a leather jacket. At a fucking church function. Her hair had been freshly dyed.

Alison took her phone from her.

“I bet your parents were _pissed_ at you…”

“I’d ridden my bike to church that day. They just had to deal with it. I think my mother said about a dozen prayers for me.”

Alison carefully scanned Isaac’s face. She’d only seen him one other time. She stopped when her eyes landed on Courtney. Her upper lip flinched. She hated the bitch with a passion. But that wasn’t the only reason for her reaction.

“That…” Alison tilted the photo. Flashes of the night at the bar came back to her. “I swear that was her that night at the bar.”

“I thought you said you were with a guy…”

“Yeah, the college preppy. But I also ran into some chick in the bathroom. I remember thinking she looked like Courtney. But her face was puffier and she had brown eyes…”

“Courtney’s eyes are blue. Almost grey, actually…” Emily considered something in thought. “Was this before or after you were drugged?”

“I don’t know. I was really hammered at that point. But I’d like to think I’d recognize Courtney. Like you said, I studied her.”

“What would she have been doing at a bar outside of Rosewood on a random weekend?”

“The girl said something about her cheating boyfriend. Mentioned something about keying his car. That’s all I remember.”

“Are you sure her eyes were brown?”

“Positive. That’s the _one_ feature I remember, because that’s the thing that stopped me from freaking out about seeing someone who looked like her.” Alison rubbed her face with a frown. “God, I’m seeing her everywhere.” She pinched the phone and zoomed in on the photo. “Who’s the grunge rocker?” She looked at Nick.

“Courtney’s boyfriend, Nick.”

“He looks like an illegitimate member of _Panic! At the Disco_. Like…Harry Styles and a hobo Brendon Urie had a baby.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what was going on with him. His personal hygiene wasn’t exactly his first priority those days. His home life was kind of shitty.”

“Join the club.” Alison scoffed. She looked closer at the photo. Isaac and Courtney were next to each other, but there seemed to be a world of distance between them. “Isaac looks really sad.”

“Courtney had destroyed one of his football trophies that morning. She was so terrible to him. She used to torture him all the time.”

“You know, I used to think I’d win the category of worst sister in the world, but then you told me about her.” Alison glared at the blonde.

“Isaac really did get screwed in the family department. He was stuck with her his whole life. And now…” Emily slid her hand across her stomach. She blinked, a blank look on her face. “God, I took away a part of his family. I’m just as messed up as Courtney…”

“Emily, don’t.” Alison pinched her brows, a mixture of concern and determination. She knew how much Emily beat herself up for not telling Isaac the truth. “His sister is a psycho bitch. And if he knew about the baby and…and if he wanted to be involved…even if you guys are friendly…your baby would still be exposed to her.”

Emily cringed thinking about it. Having Courtney near her child was her biggest nightmare. Having her baby anywhere _near_ Isaac’s family terrified her. But did that mean that she had to completely shut him out?

“That doesn’t make it right.”

Alison touched Emily’s cheek, forcing her to look at her.

“Hey, I know you. Everything that you do…you do for her.” She put her hand on Emily’s stomach. “I have never met anyone more qualified to be a mother. You are the bravest…kindest person I have ever known.”

Emily smiled, a strange bashful look on her face. She was _never_ coy. It was one of the hottest things Alison had ever seen.

“You really think so?”

“I know so.” Alison smiled sweetly at her.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. Don’t question my methods.”

“I guess the queen has spoken.” Emily pressed her lips against Alison’s forehead.

“The only queen here is _you_.” Alison gushed.

“Yes, well, this queen needs to sit upon a certain throne before _Her Majesty’s_ bladder explodes.”

She let her hand fall away from Emily’s so the brunette could break away. Emily stood up. She pulled Alison to her feet. Alison stood on her tiptoes to kiss her. When she pulled away Alison had a soft look on her face.

“You want some cocoa?” Alison questioned.

“Sure. Just give me a few minutes. I’ve got to call my mom and dad.”

Alison walked into the kitchen to heat up some cocoa. After she was done she walked back into the living room with both mugs. She put them down next to the fireplace and then set up a little cot next to the fire.

She pulled out the fire poker to stoke the flames. When she pulled the wall-mounted stand forward a slip of white slid up towards the top of the slit between the wall and the bookshelf. She stared at the NYU logo before carefully tucking the envelope away again. She moved the stand back in place and tidied up a few books on the shelf.

She could hear the smooth murmurs of Emily’s voice in the other room. She had no idea what she was saying to her parents, but Emily could convince anyone to let her do anything. She was also really good at eluding the tough questions. She probably had her parents believing that Alison’s family was home in the storm. They probably didn’t know they were alone.

She drifted over to the front window and glanced outside. The snow showed no signs of slowing down. It would be beautiful in the morning. She smiled, thinking about what their lives might look like in a few years.

She could picture a sweet little girl with Emily’s smile…and her curious nature. She could see that sweet child giggling and twirling around on her feet with her head tilted back and her mouth open wide trying to catch a snowflake on her tongue.

She could see her dancing. She would probably be nimble on her feel like her mother. She imagined her swirling around and laughing and then stopping to look across the yard at her mommy, who would be squatting down with her arms wide open.

Emily’s baby girl would sprint towards her and kick up snow all around her as her little boots crunched beneath her. She could hear her excitedly shouting, _“Mama!”_

She imagined she would be a few paces behind Emily watching it all unfold. She would walk over to her girls and gently put her hand on Emily’s back. Emily would turn around and smile at her, and then their baby would reach for her. And Alison would take her in her arms and kiss Emily. She could see herself standing there…and loving her family.

She heard Emily walking up behind her, but she was so mesmerized by the white cloud covering the trees. Snow was a beautiful thing. And so was the idea of a future with the girl she loved.

“It’s really coming down out there.” When Alison spoke her breath fogged up the window.

“Yeah.” Emily leaned over her shoulder and looked outside. “Yeah, I’m lucky I got home when I did.”

She peered at Alison’s reflection in the window. Her lips were pursed. She was staring out at the yard intently, like she was watching something. Something that Emily couldn’t see.

Emily slid her palms against Alison’s arms and wrapped her body behind Alison’s.

“What are you thinking about?” Emily asked.

“I used to love playing in the snow.” At least up until she’d turned seven. She’d reached a point where it was uncool and she’d declared she hated it and that it was for babies. But Emily had awoken the sleeping child in her. “Kids love it.”

“They do.”

“Do you ever think about what she’ll be like?” Alison asked.

“All the time.” Emily smiled. She leaned over Alison’s shoulder to look outside. She wrapped her arms around her neck and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

“What about us?” Alison looked at her. “Do you ever think about where we’ll be?”

“With each other hopefully.” Emily laid her chin against Alison’s shoulder.

“Do you think about our future?”

“We have to _get_ to that future first. Right now I’m more interested in our present.” She pressed her lips together. “With everything going on…” She trailed off. She didn’t know what to say.

Alison had been drugged because of her. Maya had nearly died because of her. What if her baby was next?

Alison could read the look on her face. She could see that protective mothering instinct in her eyes.

“I know…” Alison rubbed her arm. “I worry about it, too.”

“It would be different if it was just me.” Emily sighed. Alison frowned. She hated it when Emily put her self-worth last. “I think about what this person did to you…and I just…I have never felt so much rage in my life. The idea of someone…manipulating you and _using_ you…I could have lost you that night. And I can’t…” She couldn’t reconcile that. She couldn’t come to terms with it. “I want you to know that will never happen again. I won’t let them hurt you, Ali.” She held her close. “Never again.”

Feeling Emily’s arms around her always made her feel so soft. So secure. Not much could tear down her barriers, but when her girlfriend was so close…so intimate…she let go of her tension and she let go of her desire to have control and she gave into her sensual needs to be touched…to be held.

Alison tilted her chin up to meet Emily’s lips. It was soft and innocent. And when she pulled back she was smiling. A sweet subtle smile that she shared with Emily, and Emily only. It showcased her vulnerability. She wasn’t the bitch who had terrorized half of Rosewood. She was the girl who Emily saw. The beautiful version of herself she’d always wanted to be.

She was the girl who threw quarters into a wishing well and closed her eyes and pictured a shooting star and its magic. She was the girl who laid outside in her treehouse and stared at the sky and dreamed impossible dreams.

She was the girl who still had a trace of innocence left, something she never let _anyone_ see. But she let Emily see. She _wanted_ Emily to see. She wanted to let her in completely.

The way Emily looked at her made her feel like she was someone worth loving. Emily’s kind eyes made her soft. It made her feel things she’d never felt before.

Her body was reacting in ways it had never reacted before. She felt the blood rushing into her cheeks, down her neck. She felt it in her chest. She felt it in her stomach…in between her legs.

Her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were trembling. Emily noticed. And she smiled. She smiled so sweetly that it made Alison feel like collapsing on to the floor. It took her a few seconds to remember she was still seated. She twisted around, trying to meet Emily’s body with hers.

“You’re so beautiful.” Emily brushed her knuckles against Alison’s cheek.

Emily’s touch was so powerful that Alison could feel it in the tips of her toes. Her entire body quivered. She let out a shaky breath and shivered.

“You cold?” Emily asked.

“The opposite.”

She felt like she was burning from the inside. Her veins felt like molten lava slowly rolling over her entire body. She was so wrapped up in bathing in the warmth that she didn’t realize that the look in Emily’s eyes had changed. Her face was red, her lips puffy from their kisses. Her expression was oozing with desire.

Alison moved to her feet. They leaned in for another kiss, this time more impassioned. There was a subtle needy desperation in the encounter, but there was also a paced patience in it. No rush. No control. Just the two of them…connecting. No expectations. Just need.

Something came over them. It wasn’t that they were alone or that they had the chance or that were _always_ thinking about it. Because in the moment, they weren’t thinking. They weren’t planning. They were just acting.

They _yearned_ for it. Everything about it felt right. They knew it was time. They just _knew_. They didn’t have to ask each other. Their bodies did the talking. The moment was theirs.

Emily put the palm of her hand on the side of her neck and kissed her. Alison reached up and tugged on the curtain rope, letting the heavy cloth shades fall closed as she pressed her body against Emily, a muffled noise coming out of her mouth.

Emily slid her hands up the back of Alison’s silky red top. Alison laid her palms against Emily’s chest. The kiss was filled with a new kind of passion. Emily moved them effortlessly. Alison felt light on her feet as she gently guided them towards the fireplace.

Alison moved her hands underneath Emily’s shirt to pull her top off. Emily reached for the buttons on Alison’s night shirt, slowly popping them open at first and then growing impatient and tugging on it, ripping several of the remaining buttons. Two buttons detached from the shirt and fell against the floor.

Alison was too preoccupied to notice. She slid her hand against Emily’s back, reaching for the clasp on her bra. Seconds later, their garments were on the ground next to the cot.

Emily cupped Alison’s face. The blonde turned and gripped Emily’s hand, kissing her palm. Her skin was soft and tasted like a sweet nectar. She kissed her way towards Emily’s wrist, down her arm and then moved to her chest, placing a trail of kisses from her collar bone down to her stomach.

She paused when she reached Emily’s protruding bellybutton, letting her kiss linger there. She could feel a beautiful kind of love radiating there. She slowly trailed her tongue against Emily’s body, moving up until she found her lips again.

She felt Emily’s hand in her pajama bottoms. She threw her head back when she felt her touching her. She was ready. She was _beyond_ ready. She slid her fingers into Emily’s elastic pants.

In a matter of minutes, their clothing was in a pile next to the couch. They took a moment to peer at one another…at every bare inch of skin. Every scar. Every blemish. Every perfect imperfection.

Emily had a tattoo that Alison had never seen down in the crevice of her pelvis. It was high enough that it was hidden when she wore bathing suits and panties, but low enough that it nearly encroached her delicate area. It looked like one of the most painful places to get a tattoo.

They’d never been fully bare in front of one another before. Alison had gotten close to her before, but never close enough to see it. It was easy to miss.

It was small and modest. A tiny little outline of a maple leaf. Of course...her fall girl _would_ have a beautiful leafy tattoo.

The tattoo itself was little, but it was also bold in a way. Alison traced her fingers over the outline of it. She saw a letter in the middle of the leaf weaved in cursive. It looked like an _A._

“A for autumn?” Alison guessed.

Emily’s cheeks flushed. She smiled. That had been what Maya and Isaac believed. But the truth was that the day she went to the tattoo parlor she’d only had one thing on her mind.

“A for Alison.” She ran her fingers through Alison’s hair.

Something in Alison’s chest started to swell. Tears burned her eyes.

“Em…” Alison had no idea what to say.

“I told you…” She leaned in and trailed kisses against Alison’s jaw. “It was always you, Ali.”

Emily buried her face into Alison’s neck, her hot breath leaving little patches of heated desire against Alison’s skin. They moved in, their bodies touching for the very first time with no barriers. They both shuddered at the contact.

Alison gently pulled Emily down by the fireplace. She draped the blanket over her shoulders and laid against Emily’s body, holding herself above her as their hands explored each other. Emily’s baby bump was getting bigger, but it wasn’t so big that their bodies couldn’t meld together.

The world around them seemed so small. They were both insanely aware of every little detail. About each other. About the room. The fire roaring in front of them. Their hot sweaty bodies entwined. The sounds of their own harsh pants echoing throughout the house.

There was a determined need to get closer despite the fact that their bodies were joined as one. They were content just getting used to the feel of each other. It was slow…thoughtful.

Alison’s fingers were concentrated and concise. She moved in a perfect rhythm as she watched the pleasure on Emily’s face. She started off gentle. Almost too gentle. Emily cupped the back of her neck and peered into her eyes, staring at the beautiful blonde above her. She moved her hips with Alison’s motions.

“I need more.” Emily’s voice came out a hushed whisper.

“I don’t want to hurt her.” Alison bit her lip, glancing at Emily’s stomach.

“You won’t.” She panted.

Alison complied. She gave Emily everything she wanted, and Emily returned the favor. She gently rolled them over, their bodies still connected, giving Alison a new angle to work with.

Alison watched as Emily’s back curved. She threw her head back and her chest heaved. Then she moved down to capture Alison’s lips again.

Their kisses became frenzied. They kept their lips parted as their tongues dipped in and out of each other’s mouths. Their gurgled mewls and groans were nearly swallowed by the sound of the crackling fire.

Alison felt Emily stiffen and her body start to shake. She looked over and saw Emily’s trembling bicep next to her face. She looked like she was about to collapse on top of her, but she was controlled in a way that amazed Alison.

Emily took a breath as she moved against Alison’s motions. She moved her fingers down between their joined bodies. Emily paused, waiting on her consent. She got it in the form of Alison bucking against her pleadingly.

Emily captured her lips and whispered against them,

“You’re sure?”

Alison nodded through her unsteady breaths, unable to speak because Emily was already doing things to her that were rendering her speechless.

Emily was careful. She knew it was Alison’s first real experience with anything like it. She knew that Alison had never let anyone else in before, not in this way. She was in uncharted waters, and Alison was pulling her towards the current.

She could see the trust in Alison’s eyes, guiding her, encouraging her. Emily could see the instant that it connected for her. She could see the pleasure in her face when she felt her. Alison closed her eyes and arched her head back as she let Emily take control.

And then they were in sync, moving with one another. Alison felt something in her stomach twitch. It started to grow into a roaring fire with a heat more intense than the flames smoldering next to them. Her stomach started seizing. Her thighs pulsed as something hot washed over her.

She had never felt anything like it before. She saw Emily looking at her…seeing her. Emily had opened the window to her soul, and she was in awe of it. Emily loved her. She loved her soul. It was the first time that Alison felt like she _had_ a soul.

She kissed Emily harshly, begging for her to kiss back with just as much force. Emily did, but then she tensed up and tossed her head back. Alison saw a beauty in her that she’d never seen before.

Emily laid her forehead against Alison’s as she breathed heavily into her face. Alison buried her head against Emily’s shoulder, placing gentle kisses against her skin. She got lost in her. She could smell her arousal. She could taste her sweat. She could feel her everywhere.

It hit her all at once. She cried out and dug her fingers into Emily’s back. It was stronger than all the other times. Emily had been the first one to ever make her _feel_ it. It was more intense than every other time she’d had combined. Her body thrashed out of control. She felt a crushing weight pulling her down. She couldn’t move her arms and legs.

“Oh God…I can’t…” Alison groaned. “I can’t breathe.”

“It’s okay.” Emily kissed the soft skin in front of her earlobe. “I’ve got you.”

Alison felt Emily’s lips against hers, her breath hot and heavy. It’s like Emily was breathing with her…for her.

Alison’s stomach clenched, hard. The relief came with a release from her entire body. Her head felt light and airy. It was like she was disappearing. She felt like the fire burning next to them was inside of her.

Letting go was always hard for her. She was so tightly wound. The loss of control scared her. But she wasn’t afraid with Emily in control.

Emily saw her holding her breath. She held her as her body trembled.

“Hey…” Emily kissed her. “Breathe, Ali.”

“I…I can’t. I…” She stopped when she realized she was talking. Her chest tightened, but in the best way possible. “Oh…”

And then she laughed. She _giggled_ because she felt giddy. She felt high. She laughed at the absurdity of it all. She felt like none of it could possibly be real, because _nothing_ felt this good.

Emily was still looking at her, her eyes boring into her. She pecked her lips and waited for Alison’s breathing to steady.

Alison closed her eyes and smiled in bliss. Emily continued to leave innocent kisses against her cheek, against her forehead, against her nose. When Alison opened her eyes she saw Emily peering at her with a smirk on her face.

“I’m going to try something, okay?” She leaned down and placed a kiss against her collar bone, letting it linger.

Alison didn’t object, so Emily kissed lower. She moved down and kissed her stomach. Then she went lower, kissing her pelvis, and then the inside of her thighs.

Her tongue was a warm welcome surprise that Alison hadn’t been expecting. She was still sensitive from Emily’s touch, so she jumped and gasped. Her hands automatically shot down to grasp Emily’s head.

“Is it too much?” Emily questioned, pressing a kiss against her inner thigh.

“No…” She huffed breathlessly. “Just…give me a minute…” She felt her breath hitching in her throat. She was on fire. She felt shooting pangs in between her legs. She knew there was no way she was going to last. “God, you’re…” She said. “That’s…”

She’d had several other partners go down on her, but none as slow and methodical as Emily. She felt her tongue…and her firm supple lips...

Alison was done for. She was completely and utterly in Emily’s debt and gratitude for the rest of her life. She was hers forever. She’d be anything Emily wanted. Her slut. Her slave. Her bitch. _Anything_.

When they were finished Emily crawled up next to her and pulled the trembling blonde into her arms. She could feel the sweat rolling down Alison’s body. She kissed her shoulder, letting her lips linger.

Alison couldn’t say anything, but she looked at Emily and she realized…she didn’t _need_ to say anything.

Afterwards they held one another by the heat and light of the fire. Alison was curled against her body, bathing in the afterglow. Emily was softly stroking her fingers though Alison’s messy damp hair. Her sweat smelled like a sweet fruit, a byproduct of her shampoo.

Alison laid beside her quietly. Normally she was sassy and playful when they were together, but this was different. It _felt_ different. She was struck by the serenity…the stillness of it all. Emily was like a sturdy beacon in the middle of a wild ocean. Waves were crashing all around them, but they were safe in the storm.

Emily traced her finger against Alison’s jaw.

“Penny for your thoughts.” She gently tilted Alison’s head towards her so she could see her face.

Alison couldn’t speak. She had never been so open with anyone in her life. She was overjoyed and overwhelmed. She looked at the beautiful brunette glowing in the bask of the fire. She saw the way she was looking back at her and she felt a flood of emotions. Tears burned her eyes.

Emily noticed her watery gaze.

“Hey…what’s wrong?” Emily asked in concern. “I didn’t…I didn’t hurt you, did I? Was it too much?”

Alison shook her head. She scooted closer to Emily. She moved up to capture her lips. She was trying to let her actions speak for her. She grasped the side of her neck.

She was so grateful to have Emily in her life. She was so grateful that she knew what it felt like to love someone.

When she pulled back she was shaking. Emily put a comforting arm against the small of her back. She touched her cheek with her other hand.

“Talk to me, Alison…” She breathed softly.

“I…um…” How could she put it into words? How could she explain how she felt? The girl had walked two miles in the snow just to tell her she loved her. “I feel so lucky. I am so glad I have you, Emily. So glad. I can’t…”

Her throat was burning. She didn’t know why she was crying. The tears started flowing down her face. She couldn’t stop them. She didn’t _care_ to stop them, because for the first time in her life she understood what it meant to be in love. And she understood that she wasn’t crying out of sorrow. It was joy. She knew what joy was.

“I love you,” she said, nearly whimpering. She pecked her lips. “God, I love you so much.” She put her palm against Emily’s belly. She held her gaze. “I love you _both_ more than I could ever put into words.”

Emily felt a surge of emotions. She could _feel_ Alison’s heart.

“I love you, too.”

“I…” Alison’s eyes darted down to her bare stomach. “I want to be something to you…”

“You are.”

“I mean…I want to be something to you _and_ her. Emily, I want…I want to be in this with you… _all in_. I want to be a family. _Your_ family. I want to be something to this child.”

Emily felt a knot in her throat. Alison had said it to her once before. The night she’d been drugged. Alison didn’t remember it, but Emily hadn’t forgotten. She had felt so overjoyed at the thought of it. But she’d also felt terrified, because it was such a _huge_ commitment.

“Ali…” There was an uncertain waver in her tone.

“I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say that we’re too young and that you don’t want me to compromise my future or that we…”

“I don’t know what to do about the future,” Emily said softly. “I’m…actually…I’m afraid for her. I don’t know if I can protect her.”

She’d seen the damage that her stalker could do. She saw the lengths they were going to in order to hurt her. She didn’t want her child involved in that.

She was trembling, but it wasn’t because she was cold or because of the sex. It was because she had let herself fall in love…with Alison. With the baby. With the idea of becoming a family.

And she had someone out there who wanted to destroy that. She had someone out there who would stop at nothing to hurt the ones she loved the most.

Could she really bring her baby into that mess?

What if they didn’t figure it out?

She didn’t want to look over her shoulder every second of her life. The idea of something happening to her daughter was one of the most gutwrenching things she could possibly imagine.

“If we can’t figure out who is trying to hurt us…” She swallowed, “…I don’t know.”

“Hey, we’re going to figure it out.” Alison drew patterns along Emily’s bare arm. Her skin was almost translucent by the fire.

“I’m starting to worry that we won’t.” Emily rolled towards her. She kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how far this person is willing to go. I don’t know if they will get bored. Or…” She shuddered. Nightmares plagued her about the worst case scenario. “…or if they’re after her.”

It was a thought that made Alison’s blood run cold.

“I swear to God if anyone hurts this child I will tear them to pieces with my bare hands.” Alison growled under her breath. “I can’t believe there is someone out there willing to stoop so low…to hurt someone so innocent…to try and hurt _you_. The thought of losing both of you is just…” she shuddered.

“I won’t let that happen,” Emily said, caressing her cheek, kissing her forehead. “We’ve come too far for us to lose what we have. Everything will be okay.”

“I half believe you when you say it.” Alison smiled.

“C’mere.” Emily wrapped her arms around Alison’s warm slick body. Alison’s skin felt so good against hers. “There are a lot of things I’m not sure about in life, but there is one thing I _am_ sure of.”

“What?”

“You. _Us_.”

Alison weaved her fingers into Emily’s, pressing their palms together. The blanket was wrapped around their bodies. The fire crackled next to them. Emily lazily laid her hand against Alison’s hip and pulled her closer. Alison appreciated the feel of her body.

Alison ran her fingertips against Emily’s arm. She leaned forward and kissed the front of her shoulder. She felt Emily’s fingers threading through her hair. She was surprised by how peaceful she felt. The tranquility of being next to her was almost better than the sex itself. It had always been the little moments that followed their passion that Alison was most affected by.

She moved up and pressed a kiss against Emily’s lips. She was certain she’d never been happier in her life. And she would do everything in her power to protect that happiness.

She would shake Noel Kahn down. She would send Wilden to prison. She would find Courtney and beat the shit out of her. She would find out who was trying to hurt her girl. And she didn’t care who she burned in the process. Because Emily Fields was _her_ girl, and she would do anything for her. Anyone who got too close to her was going to get burned by the flame.

* * *

**A/N:** _This one was slow moving, but necessary. We’re jumping ahead a little bit next chapter. You have some Valentine’s Day shenanigans to look forward to. And maybe some terror, too. You know how I do._


	25. The Upside of Love

* * *

**Chapter 25:**

**The Upside of Love**

Love was a very strange, but very splendored thing. All Emily had been able to think about since the evening by the fireplace was the look on Alison’s face when they connected. The look in her eyes was something Emily had never seen before. In that moment it felt like Alison was a part of her, like she was in her veins. It was like chasing a natural high better than drugs and alcohol combined.

She’d had sex before, but she’d never connected like that with Maya or Isaac. It was the same for Alison. Though the blonde had never gone beyond anything oral with her partners it had been more about the pleasure than about the connection. But with Emily she felt something stir in her soul. Despite the fact that it was their first time, Alison had gotten a sense that their hearts had been linked in another lifetime, like they’d been meant to be together. They belonged.

There was a quiet moment afterwards when they’d peered into each other’s eyes. They’d laid their bodies bare, but the most intimate act was the fact that they had laid their souls bare. And it was in looking into each other that they saw themselves in the other’s soul. They fit together with all of their broken and incomplete pieces, and they made each other whole. They knew what they had was special.

They both felt different after that night. Everything felt more intense...more vivid and colorful. Emily had even been carrying herself differently, though she didn’t realize it until she got back to school. Hanna had watched the way Alison and Emily interacted at breakfast. She called attention to it when they were alone later.

 _“You two totally had sex.”_ She had grinned. She had practically been able to see it radiating off of Emily.

Every time Emily looked at Alison she found something else about her to be attracted to. She saw Alison eyeing her the same way. The experience had shifted something in their relationship in the best way.

Now, Emily was trying to channel that into words. She pulled her pen away from the paper she was scribbling on. She chewed on the pen cap with a smile on her face as she thought back on that night fondly. Their kisses. Their touches. Their highs. Their love.

She felt like a giggly awkward kid in love, and she realized…she was. She loved Alison. She _loved_ her. She was in love with her. That night had been nothing but a storybook of shared moments of crazy insatiable desire. They fed their appetites several times after the first time. Emily could have gone all night. Alison, too. But there was something about the way they felt after the heightened pleasure that enveloped them in a blanket of comfort and warmth that made them want to bathe in the afterglow. It was in the way that Emily held Alison. It was in the way that Alison peppered her belly with kisses. It was in the way they were _together_.

It wasn’t so much about the physicality of it. It was the shared intimacy. Neither one of them had ever opened themselves up like that before. It was a pure need to feel their souls intertwine when they were together.

She had only cared about Alison’s pleasure. She hadn’t been focused on her own, which in turn had made it so much more impactful when she had felt herself floating along with Alison. They had been perfect together. The love between them was unmatched.

She thought she’d been in love with Maya, but when they fooled around it had always felt more about hormones and lust. Emily understood the difference now. She’d never really understood why older people referred to sex as “making love” but after that night with Alison she got it. And she embraced it. Because it was the most amazing feeling in the world.

It was a love so consuming that it burrowed into a part of Emily that she didn’t even know existed. It was a little daunting. Emily wasn’t someone who was intimidated very easily. She’d always been her father’s daughter. Tough, but kind. Fearless, but firm. But everything about her brain chemistry felt like it was changing. She wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy or the fact that she was head-over-heels for Alison.

Alison’s notion of being a family was everything she could have ever wanted and more. She could see a future with the blonde. She could see them walking side by side, a precious little girl between them, one tiny hand in Alison’s hand and the other in Emily’s hand. She could see birthdays and Christmases and family vacations. She could even see marriage and more kids.

She also knew that she was getting ahead of herself. She didn’t know what the future was going to look like. She didn’t know what was going to happen after the baby arrived.

She had mixed emotions about what to do in regards to her child’s future. She loved her daughter, but after what had happened with Maya, she was terrified about what might happen if she kept her. She had already been on edge about it, so it didn’t help matters when she got an unsettling threat three days after she’d visited Maya.

It was just two simple words:

**_She’s next._ **

The photo attached knocked her for a loop. It was her ultrasound image. It had flashed on the screen for five seconds before disappearing. Emily had tried to take a screenshot, but it was gone by the time she hit the button.

She had no idea how the deranged stalker had gotten a picture of her ultrasound, but it had rattled her. Her baby wasn’t safe. And she would never be safe so long as this person was roaming free. How could she expect to keep an infant safe when she could barely keep herself and Alison out of harm’s way?

She had so many doubts. Her heart was telling her one thing and her brain was telling her another.

Sometimes she wondered if a closed adoption would be the safest option for the baby, but the thought of it made her heart feel like it was splitting in her chest. And if she gave her up she knew her heart wouldn’t be the only one broken. Alison had fallen in love with her child. She’d be devastated.

Emily hadn’t slept the night she got the text. The more she thought about it the angrier she got. This person was _trying_ to scare her. They were _trying_ to make her doubt herself as a mother. If she gave up she would be playing right into their hands. But if she didn’t do everything in her baby’s best interest...what kind of mother would that make her?

She hated that she was being manipulated and controlled. She was irate that someone was threatening her child. She wanted to strangle this person just for _insinuating_ they might hurt her baby.

Interestingly enough when she was stewing in her rage her daughter started kicking her. She had strong little legs. There was something comforting about it. It reminded Emily of her kickboxing moves. Her baby was going to be a fighter, just like she was.

Instead of firing back an angry response, which is exactly what the person on the other end wanted, Emily had put her phone down and concentrated on her child’s movements. She took a video to show Alison, adding in her own little karate chop moves every now and then.

She expected the stalker to continue to try and push her buttons, but after that text the crazed maniac had been oddly quiet. Over the span of two weeks she only got one other text.

**_Your move_ ** **.**

Emily had no idea what to make of it. Did they _want_ her to text back? Or were they just playing mind games with her?

She didn’t like the silence. She wanted to believe that maybe the person had just grown bored. Or maybe, _hopefully_ , they’d been hit by a truck. But she was worried that the real reason she’d been suddenly ghosted was because the stalker was planning something.

It unnerved her.

They’d hit a dead end in their investigation. Nothing had come of her sleuthing with Caleb at the bar. He was still looking into the apartment and the car. But Wilden was alluding them. Cindy and Mindy weren’t talking. They’d seen Noel around a lot, but they could never get him alone to talk to him.

Weeks passed and they were no closer to getting any answers. It was frustrating. Things felt like they were hitting a boiling point, and it made Emily extremely antsy. But she finally caught a lucky break when she saw Noel alone at the gym earlier that day.

She’d cornered him and demanded answers as to why he’d come over to Alison’s house. She’d caught him in the parking lot when no one else was around. She felt extra bitchy and hormonal and decided he would make a good punching bag.

 _“I hear you’re making housecalls to my girlfriend.”_ She’d backed him into the alley next to the gym. She was tired of the games.

 _“Housecalls? Is that what they call it these days?”_ He’d smirked at her.

 _“I warned you to stay away from her.”_ Emily got in his face.

He seemed amused, which only irritated her further.

 _“I didn’t realize I needed your permission to see my ex.”_ He’d scoffed and tried to shove her away.

She’d slammed him against the wall, forcing him to drop his gym bag.

 _“I’m not fucking playing with you, Noel. I’m pissed. And I have a lot of power in my punches because I’m punching for two. Do you really want to have a repeat of the last time we clashed? Because if I remember correctly you ended up bleeding on the ground.”_ She’d grabbed his tank top and lifted him up, forcing him further against the wall.

 _“Careful with the heavy lifting.”_ His cocky tone diminished. He sounded legitimately concerned.

_“I’ll let up as soon as you tell me what the hell your angle is. Why were you there? Was it just to mess with her mind?”_

Alison had seemed really upset about his visit. It had stirred something in her, which had in turn awoken every defensive instinctual nerve in Emily’s body. She had an inherent protective nature and when she saw any hint of timidity in Alison it sparked her drive to dispose of the cause of her pain...by any means necessary. If that meant maiming Noel Kahn, that’s what she would do.

 _“Everything I told her is true.”_ He’d lifted his hands in submission. He could see the fire in her eyes. She looked feral.

_“Are you involved?”_

_“No.”_

_“If I find out that you’re lying to me…”_

_“Look, I told Alison everything I know.”_

Emily loosened her grip on him. He shrugged his shoulders and flattened his tank top. When he lifted his arms his muscles bulged. She saw fading pinpoint marks on several areas on his skin.

 _“Are you using again?”_ Emily frowned.

_“So what if I am?”_

_“Thought you were trying to turn over a new leaf.”_

_“You don’t understand the pressure I’m under…”_

_“Are you fucking kidding me?”_ Emily motioned to her stomach. _“You think you got it bad, Mr. College Scholarship? Try walking ONE DAY in my shoes.”_

The water retention alone would probably have him crying like a little bitchbaby.

 _“Seems like your mood swings are worse than mine these days.”_ Noel shrugged. _“You’re not the only one who has problems. I got my own shit I’m dealing with.”_

_“Well, you certainly made enough time to meddle in our lives. Why?”_

_“I just felt like I owed it to you. I’m trying to make up for being such an asshole.”_ He’d reached up to rub his shoulder.

_“You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t buy your ‘nice guy’ routine.”_

_“I don’t care whether you listen to me or not. It’s your choice. I just thought I’d tell you what I’ve seen. I know someone is harassing you.”_

Emily tried not to react. She tried not to give anything away. She felt her facial muscles twitching.

 _“I remembered something you said to me one day. It was after…”_ He’d cringed. _“…what I did to you in the locker rooms. You said something about text messages. You thought I was threatening you. But it wasn’t me. I’m assuming it hasn’t stopped?”_

The look on Emily’s face told him everything he needed to know.

 _“I’ve seen you around. Tried to keep my distance. But I’ve noticed certain_ _things.”_ He’d mashed his lips together. _“Like you get this look of dread on your face when your phone goes off. And weird things keep happening. Like the scaffolding.”_ He glanced up towards where the scaffolding had once been. _“That nearly took Alison’s head off. If you hadn’t been here…”_

 _“Don’t remind me.”_ It made Emily feel sick to her stomach.

_“I tried to think about who would be petty and salty enough to do that. And it just made me think of Wilden. He was really fucking pissed that you and Alison ratted him out.”_

_“How did you know about his bail?”_

_“The twins are chatty in bed.”_

_“Oh, God. Gross.”_ She’d reared back in disgust. She felt dirty just hearing it. She saw Noel laughing at her. _“Christ, Fields…I’m kidding. All I had to do was buy them some milkshakes and flirt a little. They’re desperate little things. Cindy slipped up one day. Said something about some cute boy from out of town that hangs with Wilden from time to time. She didn’t know his name or anything else. She only saw him one time. But she says he’s from upstate New York.”_

Emily let out a frustrated sigh. It was hard searching for a needle in a haystack when you weren’t even sure which haystack you were supposed to be looking in.

_“Well, great. That narrows it down to half a million people.”_

_“Wilden used to have family there. His mom’s side, at least. His dad bailed when he was a baby. I think he ended up in the Midwest. I tried to follow the paper trail...the money...to see if maybe that’s where his bail had come from, but it was a dead end. It was wired through some independent account. It’s impossible to track. But it’s clear he’s got friends out there. I don’t know who they are or why they’re helping him, but the dude is untouchable right now. That’s why I went to see Alison. I know you guys are trying to get to the bottom of...whatever is happening, but if you don’t cool it I think something really bad is going to happen. That’s it. That’s all I know.”_

Emily looked at the burly asshole in front of her. And she saw something in his eyes that softened him. It was the same expression he’d had when he’d been in the nurse’s office at school after she’d passed out.

_“Why are you helping us?”_

His forehead crinkled, pushing his brows down. He had little worry lines next to his eyes.

_“Honestly? Because you kind of remind me of my sister-in-law when she was pregnant. She was super high strung about everything. And I don’t want what happened to my brother’s kid to happen to yours. You’re…what…five…six months?”_

_“Almost six and a half.”_

_“You hide it well.”_ He’d glanced down at her stomach, looking for any indication of her baby bump. She was good at concealing it.

 _“Hanna Marin Fashion Design.”_ Emily shrugged.

 _“Look, my brother’s kid…their baby was born totally full term. They didn’t have any idea why he was stillborn. It was just…it was a weird fluke. It happens a lot. It really fucked them up. Losing kids…it’s…”_ He had a poignant look on his face. _“I don’t know. I would have been the kid’s uncle, you know? And if it bothers me this much, I can’t even imagine what the parents go through. It has to be hell. People go off the deep end when they lose a child. Do some crazy shit. I read this one story about some lady who posed as a nurse and kidnapped a newborn after she had a miscarriage. It apparently messes with all kind of things in a woman’s brain when they lose a baby. And…I mean, I think I can kind of understand why.”_

Emily could understand it, too. She’d nearly lost her mind when she thought she was having a miscarriage. It was a pain that cut so deep that she could still feel it.

That night in the hospital still bothered her. Someone had been there. Someone had taken a picture. And as crazy as it made her feel, she’d _felt_ Courtney that night. She knew the girl had been 3000 miles away, but her touch…her laugh…it all felt so real.

When Courtney had kissed her Emily had felt the same dread in her chest that she’d felt when Courtney tried to force herself on her. Emily had worked hard to put that day behind her, but there were certain things she’d never forget.

She had been so sure that Courtney was going to get her way. The scariest part was that the blonde hadn’t seen anything wrong with what she was doing. She’d actually believed that Emily _belonged_ to her. The things she’d said…the awful things she’d spit at her had cut into Emily’s most vulnerable insecurities.

But then she’d turned around and tried to twist herself into the victim when Emily fought back. The shift in her personality had happened so suddenly that it had given Emily emotional whiplash.

There had been something real about her reaction as she’d stared up at Emily from the locker room floor. Something had broken through the base of her acidic nature when Emily stood up to her.

She had looked genuinely hurt…betrayed. And afraid. Emily had never seen her look afraid.

In the weeks that followed Courtney had looked at her differently, with a mixture of fear and hatred. It was as if Emily’s humiliation had changed something inside of her.

She felt those eyes on her the night in the hospital. The pains that had followed Courtney’s torture in her nightmare had felt so real to her. The erratic panicking beat of her heart. The cool blade cutting into her skin in the same manner that Courtney’s words had cut into her soul. The look of delight on Courtney’s face when she revealed her blood-coated fingers.

But nothing compared to the pain of losing her child while Courtney watched in amusement. It had been a hell that she wouldn’t even wish upon her worst enemy.

She saw that pain in Noel’s eyes.

_“I saw my nephew after he was born. They had him in a little…cooling thing. I think it was called a Cuddlecot. He was so small. And fragile. I looked at him, just staring…and it just made me realize…it’s super sad that he’ll never get to experience all the amazing things this world has to offer. It made me reflect upon babies…and how innocent they really are. I kind of have a soft spot for them…I guess.”_

It was not the response Emily was expecting. Noel Kahn was standing in front of her telling her that he loved and appreciated babies. The same asshole who had tried to force himself on her and had acted like a complete machismo lunatic after his coach got fired was talking about a baby’s precious life. It was hard to process. Before she had a chance to respond they heard the side door swinging open.

Toby walked out carrying several boxes. He spotted Emily and Noel and slowly put the equipment down. He strode over towards them, flanking Emily. He stared at Noel. He didn’t trust him.

 _“Everything okay out here?”_ Toby stepped in line with Emily.

 _“I’m moving along, officer. I don’t want any trouble.”_ Noel reached for his gym bag. He couldn’t help himself as he fired off a smarmy response, _“You guys really take your security seriously around here. I didn’t know you offered full on harassment services._ _You have to pay extra for that?”_

 _“It’s only for our EXTRA extra members.”_ Toby shrugged.

Noel waved him off as he walked towards the front of the gym.

 _“What was that about?”_ Toby asked. _“Was he bothering you?”_

Emily watched Noel walking away. She kept her eyes on him as he turned the corner. She couldn’t figure him out.

 _“No.”_ She didn’t realize how distant her voice sounded until she heard it out loud. She faced Toby. _“Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging at the front desk.”_

 _“I’m not worried about that.”_ His face tightened, a frown tugging at his jaw. He looked like he was trying to analyze something.

 _“You need some help with those boxes?”_ Emily moved towards the employee entrance.

_“Nah, I got it.”_

_“Cool. I’ll cover the front.”_ She reached for the metal door handle.

Toby reached out and gently grabbed her arm. She paused in her stride and turned around to face him.

 _“Emily, are you okay?”_ He asked.

_“I’m fine. We were just talking.”_

The look on her face told Toby that there was so much more to the story. He felt guilty because he hadn’t really been around lately. He spent most of his free time with Spencer. He’d let his friendship with Emily fall by the wayside. They’d been so close when they were little. They’d spent a decent amount of time since she’d moved back to town together, but lately work had been busy and it had been too cold for them to ride together.

He’d seen changes in her. He’d noticed that she seemed quieter and somewhat withdrawn. She seemed incredibly happy with Alison, but there seemed to be something deeper beneath the surface. He’d seen it in her tired eyes…and in the way that she was distracted when she worked out with Jake. He wanted her to know that she could talk to him.

 _“I don’t mean that. I mean…”_ He peered at her, his crystal blue eyes gazing into hers with a worried expression, _“You’ve been…weird. Is something going on with you?”_

Emily dropped her hands, pausing at the door. She thought about telling him, but something was holding her back.

_“No. No, I’ve just been a little stressed. You know how it is.”_

_“Yeah.”_ He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked dissatisfied with her response. _“Look, I know we’ve both been busy lately, but I want you to know you can talk to me.”_ He put his hand on top of hers. _“About anything.”_

Emily smiled at him. When she looked at him she couldn’t help but see the gangly little kid who had chased her around the swing-set when they were five. She’d taught him how to shoot a basket in basketball during recess. The first rebound had hit him in the face. He’d cried. She’d run over to kiss the boo-boo on his head.

_“You’re a good friend, Tobias.”_

_“Shh.”_ He pressed his index finger against his lips, which were turned up in a smile. _“No one here knows me by that name but you.”_

 _“Just wait until they find out your middle name is Bieber.”_ Emily snickered.

_“Hey, it was my name long before it was his. Belonged to my dad’s great-grandfather, James Bieber. Of course, my dad couldn’t be a traditionalist and just name me Tobias James. Sometimes I wonder what went through my parents’ heads when they were naming me.”_

Emily smiled. She had to consciously remind herself not to reach out and touch her stomach in front of Toby.

She already had an idea for a name for her daughter. She wanted to see her first, but she’d had the name picked out since the fall. The first name had come naturally. The middle name was inspired by Alison in a way.

 _“You were cute...little Tobias Bieber Cavanaugh.”_ Emily shrugged. _“A little scraggly. Shitty at basketball to start.”_

 _“I’ve gotten better.”_ He claimed defensively. _“You showed me the way.”_

 _“We’ve come a hell of a long way.”_ Emily smiled.

 _“I miss those one-on-one days.”_ Toby admitted.

It made Emily feel guilty. The past few times they’d made plans to hang out their plans fell through. She couldn’t play basketball with him like she used to because she had to be strategic in what activities she participated in. Her sparring was the only thing that had been cleared by her doctor. And she had to be careful doing that. Basketball was a contact sport and she wasn’t supposed to be getting that physical. Not to mention, her baby bump would be very easy to spot.

_“You want to grab lunch today? Catch up?”_

He’d smiled at her.

_“I’d love that.”_

Her lunch with Toby had turned her entire day around. The cool thing about friends was even if you’d been apart you could pick up right where you left off. He talked about his plans after graduation. He wanted to do a job that was really physical. He thrived on the high of exercise. He didn’t want to go to school to get a four year degree. He wanted to work hard and learn some kind of trade.

They talked about her new apartment. He asked how the move was going and offered up his services to help if she needed it. She told him it was slow-going. The slowest-going move ever. She’d been dragging her heels because of everything else that was going on.

She wanted to tell him about the baby and about the threats. She wanted to tell him everything, but the last thing she wanted to do was put him at risk. He’d nearly been ripped to shreds by the light that exploded in the gym in the fall. He’d put his ass on the line for her then, and she knew he’d do it again.

Catching up with him made everything feel normal again. She was able to put aside her anxiety about the stalker and focus on everything else.

Her main focus was her girlfriend. February was a month for lovers. And she was _still_ thinking about the love she’d shared with Alison the night of the snowstorm. Putting aside the weird morning with Noel and her lunch with Toby, Emily was hyper-focused on getting Valentine’s Day right.

She pulled the pen cap out of her mouth and mindlessly started reworking on the little love notes for Alison. The idea had come to her when she was staring out her window one night peering at Alison’s treehouse. They’d had a lot of really intimate talks in that treehouse. It had made her wonder what other places she associated her love to Alison. It had spawned the greatest idea she’d ever had.

She was so focused that she didn’t hear the light knock at her door an hour later.

“Em?” The door creaked open. “Dinner in fifteen.”

Emily peered up from the notepad to see her dad standing in the doorway.

“Oh, hey. Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”

“Thought you might be asleep.” He padded into the room.

“Dad, I haven’t slept in months.” Emily grimaced.

“Your mother struggled with the insomnia, too.” He walked over to her bed.

“Was there anything that helped her?”

He laughed softly, but didn’t reply. She saw a twinkle in his eyes. It was the same look he had on his face when he was looking at his wife in a romantic setting. Emily suddenly had the picture of pregnancy sex in her mind, but it was horrifying because it was her parents.

“Never mind.” Emily uttered quickly, closing her notepad.

“What are you working on? Homework?”

“Valentine’s Day stuff.” Emily shrugged, scooting to the edge of her bed.

“You and Alison seem to be going strong. Seems like it’s getting serious.” He sounded cautiously optimistic, but there was a nervous waver in his tone.

Emily knew her parents thought she was too young to be making plans for a future with a baby and her girlfriend, but they also wanted her to find her own way so they were trying to stay out of it. They encouraged her to seek her independence and soar in adulthood. But they also nagged her and scrutinized her decisions in little passive-aggressive ways that parents often did.

“Yep.” Emily nodded, feeling awkward. “She’s great.”

She never knew what to say to her parents when it came to Alison. They didn’t dislike Alison. They had seen her step up to the plate to support Emily more than once. But they worried that the excitement of the new relationship might wear off and that their daughter would be left brokenhearted.

“That’s good.” He nodded. “We’re happy for you.”

Her parents were slowly starting to come around to the new her, and it made her feel more comfortable in her own skin. Back before they’d accepted her she wasn’t sure of who she was...or who she was allowed to be. The internal conflict had nearly torn her apart. But things were changing, and Emily could feel it, not only outwardly, but inside.

“You have really exceeded our expectations these last few months.” He looked around the room, which had mostly been packed away. Several of her things were already at her apartment. “We’re proud of you, baby.”

“Thanks, dad.” Emily smiled.

“Just so you know, your mom and I are going away next weekend. I’m taking her to a couple’s retreat.”

“You must _really_ love her to go through that.” Emily laughed.

“I could use a spa day myself. I’m sure my pores are clogged.” He winked, a joking expression on his face.

Emily glanced at her notepad. She’d been writing non-stop. She’d just let everything pour out of her. She tapped her pen against the pad.

“How long did you and mom date before you knew she was ‘the one’?”

He smiled, a crooked grin on his face. He looked like a dopey high school boy in love. Emily liked knowing that even after years of marriage, her mother still made her father look like that.

“I knew when I met her.” He had a fond look in his eyes.

He chuckled as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

“She was in the meal hall and I noticed her from across the room. I thought she was cute, so I tried to get her attention, but she didn’t seem to want to give me the time of day. So my buddy and I got a little rowdy to make some noise. We were a little cocky, pelting one another with food and trying to act like we were the coolest kids there. I stood up to start a food fight, but when I picked up my tray I overshot it and ended up whacking myself in the face and tripping over my chair. Made a complete ass of myself.”

Emily started laughing. She could picture her dad as a young little rebel. She knew he’d been a bad boy before he’d joined the army.

“I landed flat on my back. When I looked up she was standing over me. She asked me if I was okay and helped me up. I asked her for her number. She called me a dumbass and then walked away. And I looked at my buddy and said, _‘That’s her. That’s the girl I’m going to marry’_.”

Emily was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.

“She took some convincing, of course. But eventually I wore her down. I started carrying around a tray with stupid food puns. ‘Wanna Taco ‘Bout it’ and ‘You’re Im-pasta-bly Beautiful’. ‘Sorry I’m so corn-y.’ ‘You egg-cite me.’ Every time we’d pass in the hallway I’d flash the message at her. But what sealed the deal was hijacking our first football game of the season by stealing the mic and singing, ‘Sugar Pie Honey Bunch’.”

Emily was completely enamored. She’d never heard the full story of how they met.

“You did not!”

“I _couldn’t help myself_.” He winked.

“Ugh, God, you really _are_ that corny.” Emily smiled.

“You better recognize.” He sat up tall, proud. Every so often Emily could still see the same cocky kid that her mother must have known. “Be thankful for your father’s wit. You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“I know.” Emily smiled, leaning into him, knocking her shoulder against his. “I’m starting to understand why things tie together the way they do.” She put her hand on her stomach.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and reached out with his free hand and put it on her belly.

“How’s my grandbaby doing?” He rubbed her stomach.

The motion simultaneously warmed her heart and gave her chills. She’d been thinking non-stop about her daughter’s safety since she’d gotten the text threatening her life.

“Uh…she’s good.”

Her father heard the falter in her voice.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Emily sighed. She didn’t know how to explain it without going into all the details. “It’s just…sometimes I wonder if I’m enough for her.”

“Sweetheart, you are more than enough.” He pushed a strand of stray hair behind her ear.

“What if…” Emily wanted to tell him about the threats. She wanted to talk to him so badly. But what if the stalker found out? “What if I can’t protect her? Or…what if I can’t provide for her?”

“It’s normal to have doubts.” He assured her. “I know this has been a tough road for you. Your mother and I understand that.”

“I just…I don’t know what’s best for her.” She felt her throat burning. She nearly bit through her tongue to keep from crying. “What if she’d be better off with someone more...” She tried to find the right word, “...stable? A family that can take care of her in a way that I can’t?”

Her dad took a thoughtful breath.

“Are you considering adoption?”

“I don’t know. I’m...” She wiped away a tear in frustration. “I’ve never been someone who scares easily. You know that. But...I worry about her, _all the time_.”

“Yeah...” He sighed. “That never goes away.”

“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what _she’d_ want.”

He put his large palm against her back and rubbed it in a circular motion.

“Emmy, this is something that only you can know for sure. I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. Only you know what’s in your heart.” The expression on his face tore into Emily’s soul, because she recognized it. She knew that he was hurting, because there was nothing worse than a parent seeing their child in pain and being unable to do anything about it. “I can only tell you that regardless of what you choose to do your mother and I will support you as best we can.”

“The longer I wait the harder it gets.” She choked back tears. “I fall a little more in love with her every day.” She mindlessly rolled her palm against her stomach. “And Alison does, too.”

“I’m going to play the devil’s advocate here, and I want you to try not to shut me out. I have to bring it up, because from an objective standpoint I know what it’s like to be your age and to be in love. You two are in a fickle stage in life. I think it’s important that you consider the future, because things aren’t going to be the same after you graduate. You’re setting down roots. I can see that. And I know you’ve mentioned Alison is waiting to hear from NYU...”

“We’ll figure it out.” Her response had a quiet reserve of desperation in it.

“I know you care about Alison, but you’re both still young…”

“You and mom were young.” Emily reminded him.

“We were in college. And we had a chance to discover who we were before we had you.” He put his hand on top of hers. “Don’t get me wrong. Babies are a blessing. In every sense. But they are also constant work. Your Ma and I always want you to know the realities that lie ahead. It’s why we’re so hard on you sometimes. Because we know. We’ve been there. When a child comes into the mix that baby has to come first. Always. And relationships change because of it. You’re _already_ on the brink of so many changes.”

“I know that. I do.” Emily wasn’t blind to what they were facing, but she’d already made her mind up when it came to her girlfriend. Her incredibly soft, sometimes bitchy, crazy-in-love, wildly adorable girlfriend. Emily smiled just thinking about her. “But you’ve got to understand…for me…Alison is the one who makes me want to write cheesy things on a lunch tray and sing dorky songs in front of the school.”

She looked up from the ground.

“I love her, dad.” She thought about the way she’d connected to Alison the night of the storm. “And I’m not just talking about butterflies and sweaty palms and wanting to be near her all the time, though, I feel all that, too. I’m talking about connecting… _feeling_ what she feels.”

She glanced up at the ceiling. She could still feel that high that they’d hit in the peak of their love-making.

“I mean I look at her and she becomes _everything_ to me. The sun. The air. When she walks out of the room I don’t know if I’m going to be able to breathe again until I see her. It’s like…gravity. It’s this force that I can’t stop. And I don’t _want_ to stop it.”

She faced her dad, beaming, her eyes bright and wide.

“I would do anything for her.” She smiled with tears in her eyes. “She’s my forever.”

Wayne saw the affectionate look on her face. There was a mystifying expression of enchantment that there was no mistaking. He could see the love in her eyes. His baby girl was in love. _Real_ love. All he could hope was that Alison reciprocated in the same way.

He kissed her forehead.

“Then follow your heart, kid.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and smiled at her. “You’ve got a good one. I trust that it won’t lead you astray.”

Emily didn’t say anything. She just reached out and engulfed him in a hug, her baby bump squeezed between the two of them.

He kissed her forehead one more time for good measure before leaving her to finish her little love notes.

Emily laid back against her pillows, a content sigh heaving from her chest. She had only been with Alison for six months, but it felt like they’d been together for years. They had a lot of uncertainty in their future, but Emily was only focused on the present. Even with all of her emotions reeling from the pregnancy she felt secure in their relationship. In a way, the baby had strengthened their love. Her daughter seemed to bring them even closer together.

Her phone chimed. Emily cautiously reached for it. She saw Alison’s picture pop up in her text chain.

**_Can’t wait to see your face tomorrow._ **

Emily smiled and snapped a selfie and sent it back to her,

**_Why wait? Here’s a little preview to tide you over._ **

Alison had replied with a dozen heart-eyed emojis.

Emily held her phone close to her chest as she closed her eyes.

That night, she slept soundly for the first time in a long time. She woke up ready for school the next morning. She knew that it was going to be a big week.

Rosewood High had made Valentine’s Day into a week-long ordeal. The dance committee had a “love-is-love” campaign that consisted of several little gift exchanges. Students could pay a dollar for a rose to be delivered to their lover, three dollars for a small gift of chocolate, and five dollars for the choir to serenade them with a love song.

Emily didn’t like to buy into traditions, but she did it anyway…showering Alison with little gifts throughout the week.

On Monday it was a dozen roses. On Tuesday it was gourmet chocolates. On Friday, it was the gift of song. Only instead of having the chorus serenade her she set it up to sing to her herself.

 _Uptown Girl_. Sans alcohol.

Their friends had laughed and carried on. Hanna had recorded it. Payback for Emily for not letting her record it when Alison did it at _The Brew._

The entire cafeteria had turned into a high school musical, and by the time it was over everyone was cheering for Emily and Alison.

The end of the musical number had Emily standing on top of the table reaching for Alison’s hand so Alison could hop up and join her. The entire crowd had been cheering them on. Alison carefully maneuvered herself up on to her chair in her heels. Emily yanked her up next to her and pulled Alison into her arms. They shared a passionate kiss.

“Yeah! Get that booty, Em!” Mike’s voice bellowed above the crowd.

The smack of Aria’s hand against the back of his head couldn’t be heard, but Emily saw it and chuckled.

“I can’t believe you did this.” Alison laughed, burying her face into Emily’s chest.

“I know you love the attention.” Emily shrugged.

Alison couldn’t deny it.

“The adoring public does love seeing me.” Alison agreed.

“Okay, show’s over! You two need to come down from there before someone gets hurt.” The principal was hurrying over towards them.

“Oh, Principal Hackett!” Mrs. Montgomery stepped into his path. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something…”

She’d pulled his attention away from them. Emily took Alison’s hand and they jumped down and rushed away before they could get in trouble for creating a scene.

Alison giggled as Emily tugged on her hand as they ran down the hallway. Their hearts were beating wildly.

They ducked into the library. They were out of breath as they disappeared into the quietest corner. Alison’s little reading nook was always unoccupied. They both plopped down on the floor, laughing hard and out of breath.

“You are insane.” Alison grinned as she gripped the back of Emily’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss. “You could have gotten in trouble back there, _Backstreet Guy_.”

“And I’d never be able to tell my mama why.” She crooned.

“Stop it.” Alison snickered, playfully slapping her shoulder.

“I knew we’d be fine.” Emily shrugged.

“Yeah, thanks to Mrs. Montgomery. Props to her. Did you see that little look she gave us?”

“Well, Aria _did_ say she ‘shipped’ us.” Emily leaned her head back. Her cheeks were flushed. Her hair was messy. “I’m just glad I was able to pull it off with all the extra weight.”

“You have some major moves. She’s going to come out knowing how to twerk.” Alison grabbed Emily’s hand and laid her head against Emily’s shoulder. “Speaking of…we haven’t exactly talked about the Valentine’s dance tonight. Do you want to go?”

“Considering the way our last dance went…I’m kind of skeptical.” Emily admitted. “Besides, I’m working tonight so I can have tomorrow off. Because I’ve got special plans for you.”

“Oh?” Alison was intrigued.

“I want our first Valentine’s Day to be special.”

“I don’t doubt you’ll make it unforgettable.” Alison caressed her chin. “Then again every day with you is unforgettable. And special.”

Emily still marveled at the fact that Alison DiLaurentis…the same Alison DiLaurentis who used to coldly and viciously bite into people...could be so incredibly mushy.

“You know…” Alison looked around. “The first time I ever saw you was in a library.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You were with your mom. We were probably four. Maybe five. My mom took us to the city library because my brother had a book report. He whined the entire time, but I found a little nook and sat down to read. I heard you talking to your mom and when I looked through the stacks I saw you pulling her along. You were so excited.” She smiled. “You were talking about some book about parents in the military. I watched you stop to pick out three books. Then you rushed to check out and you got all excited about giving the librarian your library card.”

“Wow.” Emily leaned back against the books behind them. “I remember that. I think it was the first time my mom let me use my card by myself.”

“Want to know something corny? I checked those books out after you because I wanted to know what you liked so I could like it, too. And I thought maybe we could talk about liking the same things.”

“That’s not corny. That’s sweet.” And a little stalkerish. But also very cute.

“Yeah. I chickened out and didn’t read them though. My brother was an asshole about one of the books. He called me a baby and teased me. And I wanted to prove that I wasn’t a baby…”

“Ali, you were five.”

“I know. But even when I was that little I had this idea ingrained in me that I couldn’t be looked at as lesser than my peers.”

Emily had never realized how far-reaching her insecurity was. She didn’t realize how far back it dated. Her childhood had essentially been hell.

“Do you remember the first time you saw me?” Alison asked.

“I do.” She stroked Alison’s arm. “First day of kindergarten. You walked in wearing this pink and white stripped dress with frills at the bottom and a popped collar. You had on a matching headband and sparkly pink shoes. From the second that people saw you, you were the center of attention. You had this gravitational pull. You strutted over to put your lunchbox and little pink sunglasses into your cubby and you turned around and smiled at me. I’ve never gotten over that smile.”

Alison glanced at her with a bashful look on her face, her lips curled upwards.

“And now I get to look at that smile every day.” Emily kissed the tip of her nose.

Alison lowered her chin and shook her head with a laugh.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“That’s it. That’s the smile.” Emily gripped her chin and forced Alison to look at her.

Their lips met again, quietly and softly. When Alison pulled away she gently took Emily’s hand.

“I hate that you have to work tonight.” The smile quickly faded from her face. “What kind of soulless corporation makes their employees work on the night before the day of love?”

“I volunteered because Toby wants to take Spencer to the _Circa Survive_ concert tonight.”

“I don’t think the concert scene is Spencer’s scene. She’s more of a foreign film and coffee kind of girl. I can’t imagine her having a good time head-banging to loud music.”

“They’re finding their groove.” Emily defended them.

“They’re a really weird couple. What do they even have in common?”

Emily traced her fingers against Alison’s arm, down to her fingertips.

“What did we have in common when we first met?” she questioned. “I was a purple-haired punk on a motorcycle and you were a little priss in heels. In what way were we compatible?”

“We’re both really hot.” Alison grinned.

“Toby is a good looking guy. And in what world is Spencer _not_ hot?” Emily challenged.

“You think Spencer is hot?” Alison’s cheeks reddened. She had a bit of envy in her eyes.

“She’s incredibly hot. She has a sexy librarian thing going on.” Emily pursed her lips together in thought. She was poking Alison. Teasing her.

“Stop fantasizing about other women on _our_ weekend of love.” Alison scowled.

“Pregnancy hormones,” she whispered.

Alison was not amused. Emily smiled. She couldn’t help it. Alison was so cute when she scowled. She snickered.

“I’m just messing with you.” She pressed the tip of her index finger against Alison’s nose.

“So you don’t think Spencer is hot?”

“I do, but you’re hotter. Much hotter.”

“That’s a little better I guess…” Alison said.

“We will have our time this weekend. I promise.” Emily pulled Alison in for a hug. “You’re welcome to hang out with me at work tonight.”

“What time are you going in?”

“Five.”

“I have that stupid charity thing with my parents.” She frowned. “What are you doing after school?”

“I have to run by my apartment. I have a few boxes I’m going to drop off.”

“Are you really moving out?” Alison pouted. She hated the idea of not being able to sneak across the street and see her any time she wanted.

“I have to get out of that house. I love my parents, Ali, but they’re suffocating me. Not on purpose. They’re just…I can just feel it, you know? Mom questions me a lot about everything I’m doing. I know they’re proud of me, but I can also feel the heat when it comes to how I’m living my life. I can feel what they’re _not_ saying. Besides, they want me to stand on my own two feet anyway.”

“But in the middle of the school year?”

“We graduate in three months. I’m just getting a jump on it. Because…” she lowered her voice, “I’m due around that time. I need to have everything set up.”

Alison glanced down at her stomach. It was amazing to her that she wasn’t showing more. Hanna had done a hell of a job picking out a wardrobe that hid her bump. Emily did a good job keeping it a secret.

 _Three months._ Alison thought to herself.

Had time really been going by that quickly? Were they really only three months away from meeting the precious little human Emily was carrying?

Just as Alison was getting lost in thought about what Emily’s little girl would look like she was interrupted by the bell signaling the end of their lunch period.

Emily stood up, pulling Alison with her. She lovingly cupped her cheek and leaned in for another kiss.

“Want to skip?” Alison questioned hopefully.

“Can’t. I’ve got a test.”

“Well, that’s not loving in the spirit of Cupid’s holiday.” Alison frowned.

“Come on. I’ll walk you to class.” She grabbed Alison’s hand.

They mingled in with the rest of the students trying to make it to their next class. Emily always tried to stay on alert when they were in a large crowd. With a stalker after them, she knew they couldn’t be too careful.

Unfortunately for her, the person who haunted her nightmares was dangerously good at blending in…a poisonous chameleon. Half of the kids at Rosewood wore hoodies, and the person following them was no exception. The girls were several paces ahead at all times. Emily kept looking back, scanning the crowd…and that’s where the hoodie came in. All it took was an adjustment of the garment over their head and stepping behind another student rushing to get to class and they were just another face in the crowd.

Emily stopped to say goodbye to Alison, unaware that they were being watched.

“I’ll see you in English.”

“Thank you for my song.”

“I love you.”

Alison still felt her body melt into a warm state of bliss every time Emily said she loved her. The words had a different meaning now...after what they’d shared the night by the fireplace.

“I love you, too.”

They kissed and then parted ways. The crowd started to thin out as kids piled into their classrooms. The hallways went from overcrowded to virtually empty. Emily thought she heard footsteps behind her, but when she turned around she didn’t see anyone.

She stopped by the water fountain to refill her water bottle. She heard the squeaking of a shoe and she spun around. Noel and two of his buddies were walking by behind her. He glanced at her, but kept going. Emily was so focused on him that she didn’t see the bathroom door opening up behind her.

An arm reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into the restroom. Emily took a blind swing at her attacker as the door closed. The attacker didn’t fight back. Instead she let out an _“eek!”_ and nearly tripped over her heels.

“Hey, whoa!” Hanna backpeddled and threw her hands up in submission. “It’s me! I come in peace!”

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, her entire body relaxing.

“Jesus, Hanna, you can’t just grab me like that. You know what I’m dealing with.”

“Sorry, I was trying to get your attention while you were mean-mugging Noel Kahn…”

“You could have texted me.” Emily’s heart was still pounding in her chest.

“I did.”

Emily reached into her pocket and pulled her phone out. There was a message from Hanna time-stamped nearly twenty minutes ago.

**_Meet me in the bathroom before next period._ **

“Oh.” Emily laughed nervously.

She smiled at her phone and sent a message back.

**_See ya in the stalls._ **

Hanna pressed her lips together and shook her head with a laugh.

“What kind of teenager are you? Couldn’t even bother to check your messages?”

“I was…busy.”

“Guess you and Alison really made the most of the romantic moment.” Hanna smirked at her.

“Well, it _is_ Valentine’s Week.” Emily gave her a sly smile.

“Who even made it a whole week anyway? The candy and card companies?” Hanna asked.

“Spencer says it’s a corporate conspiracy.”

“That didn’t stop her from being impressed with your gesture to Alison at lunch. That was a hell of a scene. I’m impressed, especially given…” She motioned to Emily’s stomach, which was cleverly covered up by another one of Hanna’s outfits. “You took a major risk.”

“Every day in my life is a major risk.”

“Yeah. No kidding.” The look on Hanna’s face changed from playful to pensive. “Listen, Caleb found something with the DNA results…”

“Hanna…” Emily’s eyes darted around the bathroom, worried that someone might be in the stalls.

“Would you relax? I checked. I’m not an amateur.” Hanna put her mind at ease. “I’ve been dying to talk to you about this all day.”

“I thought Caleb said you guys didn’t get any hits when it came back two weeks ago?” Emily questioned in confusion.

They hadn’t been expecting anything to actually come back on a few pieces of trash they’d picked up at the bar, but Emily was disappointed when she found out that nothing came out of their investigation.

“We didn’t. Not in any databases. But check this out…” She pulled several folded up sheets of paper out of her back pocket.

She opened the pages and handed them to Emily. The first picture was a print out of a DNA report. It looked like it had been taken on a phone.

“What am I looking at?” Emily asked.

“Wait for it.” Hanna pulled the first piece of paper aside. The second page was the actual print out of the DNA report.

“I don’t get it.” Emily glanced up. She caught her puzzled expression in the mirror.

“Caleb said something kept bugging him about one of the profiles that came back. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but the other day we were going through some of the older evidence we have. And he realized that the reason it looked so familiar was because we’ve seen that _exact_ profile before.”

Hanna tapped against the first page with her index finger.

Emily felt an invisible light bulb in her head switching on. She realized she’d seen the first image before. It was the DNA profile on whoever it was that Wilden had been searching for…the person who shared DNA markers with him. Noel had been right about Wilden having outside connections. And those outside connections were far closer than they knew.

“Holy shit.” Emily clutched the paper. “Holy shit.” She uttered again. “This is huge.” Her eyes widened. “So…the night at the bar when Alison said she saw Wilden…”

“She might have seen someone who _looked_ like him.” Hanna nodded. “This is from the lighter that you found.” She pointed to one sheet. “And this one is the profile that Wilden had.” She pointed to the other piece of paper.

Emily stared at the pictures. She wasn’t quite sure what that meant. That Wilden had some biological family member out for revenge? Was that the cute boy that Cindy had mentioned to Noel?

“I don’t understand how any of this connects back to Texas.” Emily knew she was missing something huge. And it bothered her. They were so close to figuring it out.

“Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe Wilden and this mystery person knew they could use you to get to Alison. They could have done a deep dive into your history, especially since Wilden had access to your records…”

“But this person knows things about me. _Personal_ things that wouldn’t be in any records.”

“We’re dealing with someone _really_ diabolical...someone who can almost outsmart Caleb…” She made a face, “Never tell him I said that.” She frowned. It made the moment lighter for a few seconds. “Whoever this is could access anything they wanted. I mean…the sociopathic mind feeds on intricate details and patterns.”

“You need to cut down on the crime novels, Detective Hanna.” Emily tried to get her to slow down. “This started _before_ everything with Wilden, remember?”

“That’s true.” Hanna frowned. She looked deflated that her theory wasn’t some big break in the case.

“But this does give us a solid lead that we can follow up on.”

And she knew exactly where they were going to start.

 _“Upstate New York.”_ Noel had told her.

“What do you want to do?” Hanna asked. “You want to corner Wilden? Beat the information out of him? I could totally be your wing-woman. I can throw a mean punch. Alison will back me up on that.”

“That does sound like fun.” Emily considered it.

She wouldn’t mind beating his face until it caved in. She felt her daughter move, and she snapped back to reality, realizing it wasn’t a good idea. The threatening text raced through her mind.

**_“She’s next.”_ **

Emily shuddered.

“Maybe it would be smarter to set a trap for him instead.”

“What did you have in mind?” Hanna asked.

“I’m not sure. We should talk to Caleb and Alison first. But…maybe after this weekend. They deserve a little TLC without the added stress of this SOB.”

“Are you and Alison doing anything fun?” Hanna questioned.

“I have this scavenger hunt set up that she doesn’t know about yet.”

Emily was really excited about her idea. Alison had been so caring and attentive about the baby lately. She wanted to take care of her. She wanted to pamper her a little bit.

“That’s the corniest…but the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Hanna smiled. “It totally fits for you two.”

“What are you and Caleb doing?”

“He won’t tell me, but I found a confirmation for a reservation to this really nice Italian place that I love. And I _may_ have gone snooping through his things and found a necklace I’ve been eyeing for the past three months.” She had a bashful look on her face. “He’s really too good to me. I told him he doesn’t need to spend his money on me. I know he’s trying to save up.”

“Just learn to say ‘thank you’.”

“Oh, I do.” Hanna nodded. “My vagina says ‘thank you’ a lot.”

Emily nearly doubled over in laughter. Normal moments with her friends kept her sane.

“Just…do me a favor and don’t end up like me.” She pointed to her belly. “Use me as a cautionary tale.”

“I promise to use _all_ the protection.” Hanna chuckled.

“That should have been the theme this week. ‘Wrap it up with a love-glove’. Diamonds aren’t forever, but babies sure are.” She folded up the DNA profile pictures. “Can I keep these?”

“Sure. Just be careful. I would hate for your Valentine’s Weekend to end up with this psycho shooting an arrow directly into your chest.”

“Let’s not give the psycho any more ideas.” Emily shook her head.

“Here’s to hoping that the only kind of arrows that are in your future are soft fluttering hearts fired by an impish man in a diaper.”

“Leave it to you to make it sound like the _least_ romantic thing ever.” Emily chuckled. “Cupid was a God, you know.”

“Could you imagine him on the battlefield? Like...he shoots all these arrows in battle and instead of killing each other, everyone just starts making out?” She thought about something. “Hmm, maybe that’s where the ‘make love, not war’ thing comes from.”

“Thanks for that imagery.” Emily laughed. The bell rang. “And on that note…we should probably go.”

They quickly scurried off to class. Emily tried not to obsess about the new evidence that had been brought to light. She chose to focus more on love than war, at least until after Valentine’s Day.

She got to cherish the look on Alison’s face when the blonde got two more of her gifts during English class...a dozen roses and a box of chocolate. Alison had stood up in the middle of their lecture and had moved in front of Emily’s desk, grabbing her to plant a long sensual kiss against her lips. The teacher had turned a blind eye to it. They were all pretty lenient during Valentine’s Week. Anything short of dry-humping and sex was allowed as long as everyone had their clothes on.

Alison had texted her once the teacher made her go back to her seat.

**_You are too good to me._ **

Emily smiled and texted back,

**_We’re just getting started._ **

**_Ohhh, what’s next?_ **

**_Wait for it..._ **

Emily couldn’t wait to show Alison what she had in store. She still had several more things up her sleeve for her girlfriend. One thing about love was the endless possibilities that kept lovers on their toes. Life was full of beautiful and surprising things, but Alison and Emily were on the verge of learning that not all surprises were of the loving variety.

* * *

**A/N:** _My friend upon reading this chapter: “Aww, so much love.” *pause* “What horrible heinous thing are you about to do to my babies?”_

_It is actually kind of nice writing sappy things once in a while. Of course I had to go big or go home with not only Emily/Alison, but Emily/Toby, and Emily/Wayne. Emily needs that extra love right now._

_Also, Tobias Bieber Cavanaugh._

_That is all._


	26. Heated Hearts

**Chapter 26:**

**Heated Hearts**

After school Emily took Alison to the apartment complex and showed her the unfurnished place. It was small, but cozy. There were several unpacked boxes stacked around in the corners. The lone piece of furniture was a futon by the wall.

After Emily had finished showing her around she turned to face Alison.

“So…what do you think?”

Alison made a face, scrutinizing the place. She didn’t like the idea of Emily not being right next door anymore. She was so fixated on Emily moving out that she didn’t even consider the fact that the apartment was somewhere they would have a space to themselves.

“I hate it.” Alison frowned.

Emily opened her mouth to respond, but her words got caught in her throat. She laughed.

“That was not what I was expecting.”

“It’s not across the street from me.” She pouted.

“It’s not like I’ll never be there. I still have to finish school. I have to stay in the district for that. And my parents want me around for dinner and family stuff. Plus I still have some packing to do. I haven’t even figured out what I’m going to do about furniture yet…” She glanced at the futon in the corner.

The suggestion that she was packing up and leaving only made Alison pout more. Emily thought it was cute.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that.” Emily touched her arm. She arched her brows and smiled. “You know…once it’s fixed up we’ll have a little more privacy…” She pecked her lips. “Like the treehouse, but with indoor plumbing and central heating and air. And all the freedom in the world…”

Alison glanced at her, looking as though a lightbulb had gone off in her head.

“Oh.” She nodded slowly, meticulously. “Well, when you put it that way…” She reached for Emily’s shirt collar and pulled her close. She moved in for a kiss.

Emily took control of the embrace almost immediately. She put her hands against Alison’s hips and gently moved her backwards. Alison felt her lower back hit the kitchen counter top. She felt Emily move her fingers up against her ass, and Alison knew exactly what she was doing. Just as Emily started to lift her up she popped up on her tiptoes. Emily picked her up and moved her against the counter.

“We could do this…” Emily pecked her lips, “…all day.” Another lingering kiss. “Every day.”

She kissed the side of Alison’s jaw. Then her neck. She saw the goosebumps rising on Alison’s milky white skin.

Alison’s legs slid apart, her skirt falling open and riding up against the counter, allowing Emily to get closer. Her stomach melded with the top of Alison’s thighs and pressed against her pelvis and lower abdomen.

They fit together like a puzzle. Perfect pieces that created art.

Alison smiled when she felt Emily’s warm belly against hers. Ever since she’d felt the baby kick she’d been obsessed with feeling _all_ of Emily.

Sometimes when they were laying in bed cuddling Alison could feel the baby moving. Alison had worried that once the baby started to grow their intimate moments might feel awkward or weird. But it had the opposite effect. It bonded them together as they experienced the life that Emily was carrying.

Alison closed her eyes and imagined a sweet little girl snuggling between them. She had so much respect for Emily. She was sharing her life with her child. She was nurturing her…helping her grow. She was sacrificing sleep and sanity…and regular bathroom habits all so she could bring her baby into the world. It was nothing short of amazing.

Emily pulled back from their encounter to find Alison beaming at her.

“What are you staring at?”

“You.” Alison moved her hand to Emily’s belly. She pushed her shirt up and slid her palm against her stomach. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

Emily’s lips twitched. She wrinkled her nose. Something about the way Alison softened when it was just the two of them amused her. Her raging fiery little fighter turned into the mushiest person in the world.

“What?” Alison couldn’t read the look on Emily’s face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Alison DiLaurentis, you are such a sentimental sap.”

“Shut up. I am not.” Alison laughed it off. She poked Emily. “Don’t tell anyone. The only way I know how to rule is through fear.”

“You want to know something interesting I’ve learned about my daughter?”

_My daughter._

Alison couldn’t help but smile. Why did those two little words make her feel like melting? Emily had a daughter.

“You don’t have to work to get her to love you. You don’t need fear. She doesn’t respond to fear.” She put her hand on top of Alison’s, holding her palm firmly over her stomach. “She responds to love. _Your_ love in particular.”

Emily took a breath. She felt a tiny fluttering sensation in her stomach. After a few seconds, Alison felt the baby kick her hand.

She couldn’t get over how incredible it was to feel Emily’s daughter respond to her. She looked up at Emily in amazement.

“She likes me.”

“She _loves_ you.” Emily leaned forward, pressing a kiss against Alison’s forehead. “Just like her mother.”

Alison felt tears burning her eyes. She sniffled.

“See…sentimental.” Emily laughed.

“I hate it when you’re right.” Alison laughed through her tears.

She kept her hand against Emily’s stomach, trying to soak in the moment. She looked at the brunette, feeling her heart swelling. How was it possible to love someone so much? When she looked into Emily’s eyes she felt an urge that was equal parts love and lust.

Part of her wanted to savor the emotional connection they were sharing as a family. The other part of her wanted Emily to undress her, rip her panties off with her teeth, bend her over the counter and fuck her until she couldn’t breathe. Her body was sending her some crazy mixed feelings. And she liked it.

Emily saw the wickedly devious glint in her sparkling blue eyes. Alison’s hand slowly shifted to Emily’s waist. The sentimental moment turned into something a little more nuanced. Emily put her hand against the nape of Alison’s neck. Alison shuddered. Emily’s touch paralyzed her senses.

“You have no idea the things that you do to me, Em,” she uttered, moving to capture her lips again.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Emily’s collarbone, which was exposed because of her plunging neckline T-shirt. The sleeves of her shirt were nearly falling off of her shoulders. Her chest was full and voluptuous, but Alison knew it was tender so she was always gentle with her. Her skin was hot against Alison’s mouth. She kissed her way up her neck, reveling in Emily’s hair softly brushing against her face.

She nuzzled her nose against Emily’s neck, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of her perspiration and perfume. She picked up on a pleasurable musty aroma beyond her normal scent. Emily had a distinct smell that drove Alison’s hormones out of control. She felt like an animal in the wild, ferocious and hungry for her mate.

She left a trail of kisses against Emily’s jaw as she slowly moved towards her lips again. When their mouths collided their lips fell open and their tongues met.

Alison gripped Emily’s shirt again and tried to pull her closer. She parted her thighs wider. Emily’s hand landed on her knee. Her touch pushed Alison to urge her for more. She purred against Emily’s kisses, sending a shooting vibration between their joined bodies.

Emily slowly moved her hand up underneath Alison’s skirt, her hot fingertips landing against her inner thigh. Alison felt a rippling pleasure shoot through her body. She groaned into Emily’s mouth. She reached out and put her palm against the backside of Emily’s thigh, trying to push her closer.

Emily pressed a kiss against the side of her lips and slowly started peppering her jaw with soft pecks. She pushed Alison’s hair aside. Alison tilted her head to give her better access. Seconds later she felt Emily’s warm tongue against the tendon on the side of her neck. Emily’s teeth grazed her skin, marking her.

Alison slid her fingers through the backs of Emily’s legs and started moving them back and forth against the crease in her pants. She felt Emily jump and hiss under her breath. Emily curled her fingers into Alison’s bare thigh and bucked into her, moaning quietly into the blonde’s shoulder.

“Someone’s a little sensitive.” Alison smirked. “How long before you have to be at work?” She kissed her again.

Emily tried to pull her lips away, but Alison’s teeth had lightly latched on to her lip. She scooted closer to the edge of the counter, her skirt riding up even more. When Emily glanced down she realized that Alison wasn’t wearing any underwear. A raw animalistic urge shot through her body. She felt her self-control waning. Alison knew exactly what she was doing to her. Emily had noticed that since they’d slept together that Alison had been very frisky.

Alison methodically moved her fingers, putting pressure exactly where the brunette needed it. Emily took a shaky breath. Her instincts were to dive in, but her heart had other plans.

“Ali, slow down.” Emily cupped her cheek.

“Why? I say we christen this counter.” Alison traced her fingertips against Emily’s face. “And the floor. And the bathroom sink. And the futon…”

“You deserve better than an old futon on the floor.”

“Mmm...no.” Alison disagreed. “I don’t care where we are. I’d let you ride me on a dingy city bus if it means I’d get to feel you again.” She arched her neck and smiled in pleasure, imagining Emily making her feel the way she’d felt their first time.

“You have to pace yourself, babe.”

Alison paused and cocked her head. Emily didn’t usually call her pet names. She liked it.

“I promise you we’ll have our time this weekend.” She kissed Alison’s forehead. “You deserve to be spoiled and treated like a queen.”

Alison leaned close to her ear, her heated breath coming out against her neck. She gently blew against the tip of her ear.

“Maybe I just want you to fuck me,” she whispered.

Emily shuddered, tingling chills shooting down her spine. She bit her lip. Alison wasn’t making it easy on her.

“So much for you being a romantic.” Emily gave her a hard time.

She kissed Alison’s shoulder, then started kissing her way down her arm. She lifted Alison’s hand and kissed her knuckles, looking up to smile at her. It made her seem so fucking gallant. Alison saw her eyes dart down to her open legs. For a brief second she thought Emily was going to give in to her urges.

But the moment was interrupted. Emily’s phone chimed, startling both of them. She picked it up off of the counter to shut off her alarm, frowning at it.

“Work beckons.” She helped Alison slide down off of the counter. “To be continued.” She kissed her, then winked.

Alison glanced around her apartment before they left, thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It was nice. Quiet. And most importantly…private. No annoying brothers barging in when they were trying to set a mood. No helicopter parents eyeballing their every move and insisting that doors had to stay open. Just her and Emily. Alone. With no boundaries and all the time in the world to be together.

The tiny hole in the wall suddenly seemed much larger. A cozy little place that could just belong to them.

Her appreciation for the apartment grew an exorbitant amount when she got home and found her parents hosting their stupid soirée. She could hear her brother hooking up with some girl in his room. She was screeching his name at the top of her lungs while the crowd downstairs chatted over the noise and the music.

Alison grabbed her headphones and cranked up some music to drown out the sound of the headboard hitting the wall and the squeals and moans of her brother’s latest conquest. Her only hope was that he was smart enough to use protection.

She grumbled under her breath about the fact that it could have been her and Emily shaking the entire house. She hadn’t been able to get the night by the fireplace out of her mind. It had changed something in her. It had opened something up. Emily was such an impassioned lover. She was kind, but controlling. She could also be wild and rough. The combination drove her insane, but in a good way.

Alison didn’t like the idea of spending the Friday night before Valentine’s Day without Emily by her side, but she knew that her girl had responsibilities. And she supported her. She also knew that whatever Emily had planned would make up for the wild sex they could be having. She swallowed a knot in her throat as she thought of how close they’d come to breaking in Emily’s new apartment. She could still feel the heat between her legs. She pulled up a picture of Emily on her phone. She bit her lip and closed her eyes with a grin as she slowly moved her fingers down.

* * *

As Alison laid on her bed, fantasizing, Emily was on her bike silently lamenting about the fact that they weren’t spending their Friday night doing something crazy romantic. But she couldn’t wait until the morning. She was going to spoil the hell out of her girl.

She hadn’t been planning on buying anything else, but when she was driving to work something possessed her to stop at a little antiques shop a few miles away from the gym.

She wasn’t looking for anything in particular. She liked picking through the one-of-a-kind trinkets, and she thought she might find something cute for Alison.

Her eyes landed on a chain-link charm bracelet that had various different musical notes dangling from it. It was beautiful. Emily thought it would be some crazy exorbitant amount, but it was fairly priced, so she bought it.

As she was on her way out of the store her cell phone chimed. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw Hanna’s name and picture on the caller ID. It was a picture of the two of them at _The Brew_. Hanna had her sunglasses on, looking like a movie star.

“Hey, Han, I’m getting ready to hop on my bike. Can I call you back in a few minutes?”

She was met with the response of heavy breathing and several broken sobs.

“Hanna?” She felt her spine straightening as she snapped to attention. Her heart started pounding. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I’m being stupid. He’s going to be fine. But…” She took a heaving breath, “Caleb is in the hospital.”

“ _What_?” Emily exclaimed. “What happened?”

“Some asshole swerved into the bike lane and ran him off the road. He wiped out. The driver didn’t even stop. A jogger found him a few minutes later. He was conscious. I’m always on him about wearing a helmet, _Thank God_. The jogger got him a ride to the hospital. He’s back in X-Ray now.” She huffed out an irritated, yet worried breath, “Hell of a way to start Valentine’s Day.”

“Let me see if I can get someone to cover my shift. I can be there in twenty minutes.”

“He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

Emily understood that, especially given that the exact same thing had happened to her the night Alison had been drugged. She still hadn’t told her about it. They’d been through so much already. She didn’t want to add to that burden by upsetting her.

She wished she’d gotten a better look at the car that night. The similarities to her accident and Caleb’s couldn’t be a coincidence. Someone knew that they’d discovered damning evidence. It wasn’t an accident. It was a warning.

“Did he get a good look at the car?” Emily questioned.

“No. And it happened on a back road where there are no CCTV cams.” Hanna sniffled, trying to get control of her emotions. “He’s lucky that jogger came along.”

Was he though? What were the odds that someone jogging in February weather would just happen to stumble upon Caleb right after he was nearly run over by a car on a remote back road?

“Did Caleb mention what the jogger looked like?” Emily questioned.

“Uh…no. He was pretty out of it. I think he spent most of the time staring at the ground trying not to puke.” Hanna replied.

“Did he see his shoes?”

“His shoes?” Hanna asked in confusion. “Like did Caleb still have his shoes on?”

“No…the jogger’s shoes. Did Caleb see what kind of shoes he was wearing?”

“I would imagine jogging shoes.”

“Did he see any red paint on them?”

“Oh, hold on, they’re bringing him back in the room.” She pulled the phone away from her ear. Emily could hear Caleb mumbling something. “How does everything look?”

“Just a few bumps and bruises.” Emily heard Caleb’s voice on the other end of the phone. “Who are you talking to?”

“Emily wants to come up here and play doctor with you.”

“Um…please rephrase that, Hanna.” Emily uttered loudly into the phone’s receiver. She could hear Caleb laughing. “Just tell him I’m glad he’s okay and ask about the shoes.”

Hanna relayed the message. There was a muffled conversation on the other end of the receiver, then Hanna came back on.

“He says he doesn’t remember, but he thinks that yeah, there might have been traces of red paint on the shoes. That, or blood.” There was a catch in her throat, then a pause. “This wasn’t an accident, was it?” She put the pieces together.

“No.” She sighed. “God, I am so fucking sick of this. Now you two are being attacked…”

She reached into her coat pocket where she had the DNA samples tucked snugly away. She had half a mind to march down to the police station and tell them everything.

“This isn’t your fault.” Hanna assured her. “Caleb is tough. He’s going to be okay.”

“This person isn’t going to stop.”

“They’re scared. We’ve got them on the ropes. That means were close,” Hanna said.

“And the closer we get…the more dangerous this gets.” Emily bit her lip. “Listen…Han, you two have been so helpful in all of this, but I think it’s getting too risky for you. I don’t want to wake up one morning and find out that you’re in some city morgue because of this psycho. Maybe you and Caleb need to keep your distance from this for a little while. I’ve got plenty to go on right now.”

“You can’t do it alone.”

“It’s the only way I can make sure everyone I love stays safe. I’ll figure something out. You and Caleb…you just take care of each other, okay?”

“You’re not going to be able to get rid of us that easily.” Hanna argued.

“This isn’t a negotiation.” Emily replied firmly. She couldn’t risk it. Not after what had happened to Maya. “We’re flying too close to the fire here. And I’m not going to let you get burned. I mean it, Hanna. No arguments.”

“Okay…” But Hanna didn’t seem sold on the idea. It was a tone of voice that told Emily that Hanna would most definitely go behind Emily’s back and team up with Alison again if she was given the chance. “But…”

“No buts.” Emily cut her off. “I care about you two…”

“We care about you, too.”

Emily could practically hear her bottom lip trembling. Hanna wasn’t someone who cried very often, so it hurt Emily’s heart to hear it.

“Just drop the spy act and focus on taking care of each other right now. Promise me.”

“Fine.” She mumbled.

“I need to hear it, Han.”

“I promise.” Hanna finally caved. There was a shuffling noise on the other end of the phone. “The doctor just got here. I’ll keep you posted.”

“You call me if you need anything, okay?” Emily asked.

“I will.”

After she hung up the phone Emily sat on her bike for several minutes contemplating what to do. She took the scenic route to work to clear her mind. She slowed her bike to a crawl when she got to town. She stopped at a stop sign, her eyes tracking between the gym and the police station down the street. She slowly pulled forward and drove towards the building.

Was she desperate enough to bring the police into it? She sat in the parking lot, chewing on her chapped lips, flicking her fingers, and moving back and forth towards the entrance.

She didn’t see the person in the coffee shop across the street watching her from a booth in the corner. The coffee shop was mostly empty. Most of the teenagers in town were out frolicking with their lovers. Lust was in the air, and soon enough everyone in town would be filling the air with their desperate thirst and raging hormones.

Watching as Emily fretted over her stupid little friends while sipping on a lukewarm coffee was a perfect prelude to what was coming. It was fun to watch her panic. She deserved everything she was getting. Her friends were just collateral damage. Chasing down Tech Boy had been easy. It hadn’t been nearly as fun as almost flattening Emily on her bike though. After what she’d done she deserved far worse.

Emily and Alison weren’t going to the dance, so there wouldn’t be any more decoration snafus. It could have been a night to remember. A Bloody Valentine’s Dance. But nothing could compare to the chainsaw.

There was a sense of pride in knowing that dances had probably been ruined for them because of Halloween. That had been such a perfect set up. The only thing that would have made it more fitting would have been if she had truly lost the baby. It would have been poetic justice. She didn’t deserve the baby. She didn’t deserve happiness.

The coffee was beginning to taste bitter. Rosewood’s brew wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst either. There was something cozy about it. The little city was starting to feel like a home away from home.

The apartment in town had a nice view of the city. It wasn’t as nice as it was back home, but there was something quaint about watching a quiet sleepy little town.

It was surprising that Emily hadn’t figured it out yet. Subconsciously she had to know. She’d been there when it happened.

Emily and Alison knew about the connection to Wilden. It was only a matter of time before they figured everything out. The plan was to stall for just a few more months. Just until after the baby was born…just until Emily was served a cold dish of retribution.

The text threatening her daughter had definitely gotten to her. She’d been fired up ever since. The end goal wasn’t really to hurt the baby, but if it happened it wouldn’t be the end of the world. The real end goal was to hurt Emily.

Toying with the people in Emily’s life was child’s play compared to making the brunette’s life a living hell. The baby was the real center of the brunette’s heart. Everyone else was insignificant...tiny little blips on the radar leading to the final destination of Emily’s demise. They were plebeians. Nothing more.

Maya had been a tease. Caleb had been a warning. Alison was...unique. Playing with the blonde wasn’t quite as fun, though it was satisfying to see the look of terror on Emily’s face after she’d nearly been flattened by the scaffolding. It was even more delightful to watch Emily spiral into a panic after Alison had been roofied. It had taken restraint not to do more to the unconscious girl that night. She’d been helpless putty that could have been smashed into a pile of nothingness. But Alison wasn’t the endgame. Emily was. She deserved everything that was coming.

The tinkering of bracelets and the sound of shoes tapping against the floor drew attention away from the brunette across the street.

“Can I get you anything else?” Sabrina was standing at the table, holding a freshly brewed pot of coffee.

“No, thank you. I’ll take the check though.”

“Of course.” Sabrina smiled. Her smile lit up the room.

As she walked away the wall bolstering “Employee of the month” shifted into view. There were several pictures of Caleb in the line-up. Tech Boy wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Emily would make sure to protect her friends. She would push them away. Because that’s what Emily did.

Sabrina came back with the check, pleasant and bubbly and kind. A lot of the people in town were too friendly for their own good. But it was easy to mirror the kind attitude right back at her while taking care of the bill.

After the receipt was signed Sabrina walked back towards the counter, but the blonde coffee girl wasn’t the person who had the sole attention.

Emily finally made a choice, climbing back on her bike and driving away from the police station.

“Good girl.” Fingers raked across the top of the to-go cup.

Emily peeled out of the parking lot. It was interesting that she was still riding, not only because of the weather, but because she was almost at a point where she wouldn’t be able to ride anymore.

The sound of Emily’s engine disappeared as she drove down the street. Sliding out of the booth with a coffee in hand, the decision was made to leave a generous tip for the blonde. She was a decent person. And she was going to be shorthanded with Tech Boy out for a few days. Plus…she’d been the one to find Emily that sweet little apartment…away from the safety of her home.

The cool February air blasted through the open door after it was pushed open, but the warmth of the coffee, and the idea of teaching the brunette yet another lesson was all the heat needed to invigorate the soul.

A gloved hand reached for the rental car door. The engine purred and the car pulled out of the parking lot, following Emily’s trail.

* * *

Emily was still shaking when she got to work. The game this stranger was playing was getting deadly. Caleb could have been killed. How could she rectify it if someone she loved was murdered because of her? She had enough on her shoulders. She was sick of her friends being attacked. She knew she needed to figure out who was behind everything before it was too late.

She still had the DNA results in her coat pocket. She promptly locked it in her locker.

She had so much swirling through her mind. The fact that Wilden had someone out there that shared his DNA markers. The fact that Upstate New York seemed to be a factor somehow. The fact that Wilden had motive to want to make her life a living hell, but also the fact that the threats had started long before Wilden had come into the picture.

Wilden was involved somehow, though Emily couldn’t prove it. But what if he hadn’t started the game? What if it was someone else and Wilden had only joined in when Emily pissed him off? What was the link between Emily and the link to Wilden’s family?

Clearly there was more than one person involved. Clearly he had help, but what was the connection to the DNA results? Who was this mystery person, and why would they be after her?

The DNA information was clouding her mind, though she tried not to let it cloud her judgment. She was shaky, unnerved and unsettled, but she managed to shift her focus to her job.

She tried to cover the front desk to the best of her ability, but she was antsy so she found a project to keep her occupied. She tidied up around the gym and then started putting the finishing touches on a display for their new monthly membership deal.

“Em!” She heard a familiar voice shouting her name.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and saw Aria walking towards the display rack. As always, she had a book tucked under her arm.

“Hey, Aria.”

“Did you hear about Caleb?” Her eyes were large and full of concern.

“Yeah, I talked to Hanna earlier. She says he’s going to be okay.”

“Thank God.” Aria nodded. “It’s crazy. I can’t believe the driver didn’t stop.”

 _I can_ … Emily thought to herself.

“What kind of sick person just drives off and leaves someone like that?” Aria’s face was flushed and angry. She clenched her fists. “Makes me want to hit something.”

“Good thing we’ve got a fix for that.” Emily pointed towards the heavy bags.

Aria’s tension faded. Emily had a way of making her friends feel more at ease, though she didn’t know it. She had a natural easiness about her that was contagious. Her friends felt safe with her.

“That’s not a bad idea. Maybe instead of book club Ezra and I should spar and beat the shit out of each other.”

Emily laughed.

“What’s this week’s read?” She pointed to the book under her arm.

“ _Leah on the Offbeat_.”

“That’s the same author who wrote _Simon Versus the Homo Sapiens Agenda_ , isn’t it?”

“Becky Albertalli.”

“Yeah, I like her. Interesting pick. You two usually do classics.”

“We usually do.” Aria nodded. “This one was actually Alison’s suggestion.”

Emily’s interested was piqued.

“Really?”

“Yeah, the main character is kind of a badass. She’s sarcastic and funny. And if I didn’t know any better I’d say she reminds Alison a little bit of a certain girl she likes.” Aria smiled.

“Guess I’m going to have to find this girl and tell her that Alison is mine.” Emily cracked a smile.

“You two are a unique pair.” Aria laughed. “Are you guys doing anything fun tomorrow?”

“I have a whole day planned.” Emily nodded. “Are you and Ezra doing anything?”

“What do you mean?” Her eyes fluttered nervously. Her cheeks flushed. She couldn’t help but smile.

“Come on, Ar, you two practically spend all of your time together. I get that he’s two years older, but I’m not going to judge you if you’re more than just book buddies. It’s Valentine’s Day.”

She flipped her hair nervously and smiled at Emily. She started chewing on her lip.

“Okay, so it’s no big deal. We’re not… _together_ or anything…”

 _Not yet._ Emily thought to herself.

“But he did ask me out for dinner. He says he found a nice vegan place close to campus that he really likes.”

“About time.” Emily chuckled.

“Don’t make a thing of it.” Aria put her book down. She saw Mike and Mona walking towards them. Mike was sweaty from his workout. “And don’t tell Mike. He relentlessly teases the boys that I like. Usually chases them away.”

“He likes Ezra though.”

“Yeah. That’s true.”

“Hey, nerd.” Mike poked his sister. “Mind sticking around a little longer? I want to get my racquetball on.”

“You might want to be nice to her. She can kick your ass without breaking a sweat.” Mona scolded him.

Aria turned around and grinned at Emily, a knowing smile that only the two of them were in on.

Emily went to tidy up the weight area a little bit and when she was finished she went back towards the front desk. Toby was standing behind the desk finishing up a phone call. Spencer was leaning against the desk. After he hung up he leaned over the counter and said something to her, flashing a grin at her before moving forward to capture her lips.

“I’ll pick you up at 9,” Toby said, touching her hand.

He saw Emily approaching. His face was beet red. He looked like a kid who had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“There she is. My savior.” He grinned nervously.

“Toby says you’re covering so he can come out and play tonight.” Spencer smiled. “We owe you one.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Spencer’s phone jingled. She glanced at it.

“I’ve got to take this. It’s my sister. Thanks again, Em.”

They watched her walk away.

“It means a lot that to us that you took tonight’s shift. I know you probably wanted to hang out with Alison.” Toby gave her an appreciative smile.

“I have all day with her tomorrow.” Emily glanced outside where Spencer was talking on her phone. “So…” She smiled at Toby. “Spencer Hastings and Toby Cavanaugh…you’re officially official?”

“Mike called us ‘Spoby’.” Toby made a face. “I called him an idiot.” He laughed.

“I think it’s cute.” She teased.

“Yeah, yeah.” Toby brushed it off gruffly. He felt the need to assert his male energy. He didn’t like being boxed into a fantasy of puppy love.

“Spencer and Toby sitting in a tree…”

“Knock it off.” He laughed.

Toby had a really light air about him since he started hanging out with Spencer. All of her friends seemed so happy and carefree lately. Love was certainly in the air. She really loved love. It was a nice feeling. She put in a lot of effort to make Alison feel loved.

Alison made her feel grounded and weightless at the same time. She was a lifeline to reality, but also the greatest fantasy she could ever get lost in. Just thinking about her made her smile. She felt lighter on her feet as she floated around the gym, letting go of her stress.

It was interesting that so many couples were spending time together sweating it out. Then again, she knew from experience that sometimes a good work out was a prelude to some _amazing_ bedroom action later. Exercise was an aphrodisiac for a lot of people.

She watched the couples around her. Spencer was sitting behind the desk with Toby, laughing and reaching out every so often to touch his arm or his leg. Mike and Mona were trying to out-do one another on the racquetball court. Mona was better than him, but he took it in stride. Ezra and Aria were kickboxing with Jake. Even Noel had some pretty little bimbo cheering him on as he showed off his weightlifting skills.

Emily went to her locker to grab something to drink and to take her prenatal vitamins. She checked her phone and saw a missed message from Alison.

**_This charity thing has more to do with people loving themselves and their money than putting actual love out in the community. Miss you. Hope work isn’t too gross and sweaty._ **

Emily smiled and replied,

**_Maybe I like gross and sweaty._ **

She didn’t get a response, so she assumed Alison was being forced by her parents to mingle with the snobs.

She put her phone away and closed her locker. She thought she heard someone else in the locker room with her, but when she investigated she didn’t see anyone.

She walked by the steam room and saw that someone had left a mess. The little sauna wasn’t used a lot. People preferred the showers, but every so often people would detox in the hybrid sauna-steam room.

Someone had knocked a bunch of the charcoal over and had left several wet towels strewn about. Emily grabbed a pair of gloves and walked in to get to work.

She picked up the charcoal first. Some of it was still warm, so the place had been used recently. When she bent over to pick up the last pieces she heard a slamming noise behind her.

The door had been shut.

She dropped the coal on the ground and rushed towards the door. Normally it could be opened from the inside, but when she pushed on it it wouldn’t budge. It felt like it had been blocked with something. She glanced out the little window, but didn’t see anything.

She heard a hissing noise. She turned around to see that the coals in the pit had changed from black to red burning embers. The sauna had been turned on from the main room. Steam started pouring in through the vents.

It took a few seconds for the panic to set in. It wasn’t the heat or the steam that scared her. It was the fact that it was dangerous for the baby. And no one knew where she was.

“Hey!” She started pounding on the door. “Is anyone out there? Help!”

Her mind started swirling. The longer she was exposed to the heat the more dangerous it was for her daughter.

Time was an agonizing concept. The minutes felt like hours. Her heart started racing. Sweat rolled down her back. Her hands were red and chaffed from beating the door. She threw her shoulder against it, trying to nudge it forward, but it wouldn’t budge.

She could feel her clothes starting to stick to her skin. A drizzle of perspiration dripped down her jaw. Her entire face was wet and hot. Her shirt collar rubbed against her throat. It felt like it was shrinking, slowly choking her. Her throat burned. Her eyes watered.

She continued ramming against the door and screaming for help, hoping that someone would walk in.

She was worried because they didn’t usually do their final locker room checks until closing time, and that was hours away. There weren’t a lot of clients in the gym since it was Valentine’s weekend. Most people would probably bolt to get home once their endorphins were high enough. Would anyone even bother coming into the locker room?

She felt a wave of exhaustion and sank down to the floor, her back against the door. She stared at the steam pouring in. She couldn’t see anything in the room anymore. Everything was white.

The heat was starting to get to her. She pulled her shirt off, leaving her in her sports bra. She slipped her pants off and threw her head back against the door and groaned. Her entire body was glistening in the sweltering heat.

Her skin was slippery. She watched as beads of sweat dripped off of her body and on to the wooden paneling on the floor. The dark spots left by the perspiration sizzled and evaporated almost instantly.

She looked down at her baby bump. She put her hands underneath her stomach. She could feel the baby moving. It had to be uncomfortable for her, too. She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on her daughter’s motions. When the motions stopped she felt like crying.

She sat there in a daze for what felt like an eternity. Thoughts flooded her mind. What would happen to her daughter if she died? What about Alison? Her parents? Her friends? Everyone she loved?

She silently hoped against hope that if someone found her and it was too late for her that they would do everything humanly possible to make sure her child would live. She needed her baby to survive. The baby would be loved. She knew that much. Her parents and Alison would make sure she was safe. They would make sure her baby knew how much her mother loved her. Alison especially would be able to connect to the infant. Emily could feel it every time Alison touched her stomach. Her daughter knew Alison. She loved Alison. And Alison loved her. At the very least they would have each other.

The idea of leaving a grieving Alison behind was almost too much to bear. She felt something slip down her cheek, but she wasn’t sure if it was sweat or a tear. Would Alison know how much she loved her?

Her head started to feel like it was floating. She was certain she was going to pass out. Her eyes were on fire. Her mouth was parched. But just as she started to lose consciousness she felt something stir in her stomach.

Her daughter hadn’t given up. And she wouldn’t either.

She pulled herself to her feet, wiping the condensation from the small window. She started pounding on the door again and screaming as loud as she could. She could barely breathe.

Just when she was about to lose all hope she saw a blur of motion. She couldn’t see who it was through all the fog, but she heard something being dragged away from the door. She shoved it open just as her hero pulled it forward.

She collapsed into Toby’s arms, wheezing and coughing. She didn’t care that she was half naked. She didn’t care that she heard other people rushing up behind Toby. She wasn’t even thinking about the fact that her pregnant belly was exposed. She was just grateful to be alive.

Her skin was scorching hot. Toby could feel it. He put his palm against her forehead. She groaned.

“Oh my God. Em...” Aria cried in concern.

“Is she okay?” Mona gasped.

“Holy shit. Is she pregnant?” Mike had sidled up next to Toby. Toby was on one side and Mike was on the other. “Jesus, she’s burning up. They’re both in trouble here...”

“We need to cool her down.” Toby brushed her sweat-soaked hair out of her face. “We’ve got you, Em. We’ve got you.”

Emily looked up at him, but she couldn’t see him. She couldn’t respond. She took heaving breaths, biting at the cool air, trying to get the oxygen she desperately needed. Her vision was going black. Her legs felt like jelly. She held on to Toby and Mike so she wouldn’t fall and hurt the baby.

“Just breathe. You’re going to be okay.” Toby held her up. He looked over his shoulder. “Grab a towel.”

Aria rushed to grab a clean towel. She ran it underneath the cool tap water in the sink. She ran over and draped it over her shoulders. The cool cloth felt good against her sweltering skin.

“I’ll go get her some water.” Mona rushed off.

“Showers,” Toby said, leading her forward towards the showering area.

“On it.” Aria was ahead of the guys. She flipped the shower handles and played with the temperature, trying to get it to a lukewarm setting so it wouldn’t be a shock to her system. They didn’t want to cool her down too quickly.

Emily faded in and out for several minutes, but she was cognizant enough to realize that the boys were holding her up underneath the cool water. At some point Mona returned with a chilled bottle of water.

Emily took it and started swigging it down. Her body slowly started to feel normal again. Her awareness started to return to normal.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when she looked up she saw all of her friends eyeing her. She was sitting on a bench wearing a pair of Mike’s joggers and an oversized T-shirt. Aria and Mona were sitting next to her on the bench. Mike had plopped down on the floor next to his sister. Toby was standing in front of her, his arms folded in front of his chest. He’d been pacing the floor like a worried father.

“Not exactly the hot Valentine’s Day strip tease you were all expecting, was it?” Emily tried to break the ice.

No one knew what to say. Except Mike.

“Well, at least now we know she doesn’t have brain damage.”

Emily smiled at him. Sometimes she was grateful for his inability to read the room.

“How are you feeling?” Aria asked.

“I’m feeling the burn.” Emily tried to force a smile on to her face.

“Yep, she’s definitely still Emily.” Mike nodded.

“What happened?” Mona questioned.

Emily looked over at the steam room and felt a chill rolling down her spine. It could have been much worse. She looked at the weight bar that had been slipped through the door handles, locking her in.

“I went in to clean a mess that was left behind and someone shut the door on me.”

“Who would do that? That’s not even practical joke funny. That’s just fucked up.” Mike scowled.

“I don’t know.” Emily rubbed her throat. It still felt raw from the heat. “I’m just glad you guys showed up. How did you know I was in here?”

“Noel said he thought he heard crying coming from in here. We went with Toby to get the keycard and we heard you screaming.” Aria cringed. “It must have been intense. Do you think you need to go to the hospital?” She touched Emily’s hand, her eyes drifting down to her stomach.

“I don’t think so. I can feel her moving. I think she’s okay.” It came out naturally, though she realized that it was probably a shock to everyone sitting with her.

“ _Her_ , huh?” Mike questioned curiously. “How far along are you?”

“Mike.” Aria frowned at her brother. She didn’t want to push Emily to talk if she wasn’t ready.

“It’s fine.” Emily offered a half-smile. “I was going to have to tell you sooner or later.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Mona offered her a comforting touch, her fingers gently landing on her knee.

Toby was oddly quiet. Emily looked up at him, trying to discern the look on his face. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. His face was twisted in a blend of different emotions. His eyes kept drifting to her stomach. All Emily could think about was the day she’d filled out the job application. She’d lied to his face that day.

“I’m sorry, Toby. I should have told you.” Emily winced.

Toby inhaled and then let out a heavy breath. He glanced at the floor and then looked back up at Emily. It wasn’t until she made eye contact with him that she realized the look on his face wasn’t confusion. It was resignation and curiosity.

“I knew,” Toby said.

“You did?” Emily questioned in surprise.

“Yeah. Why do you think Jake and I have been the one picking up the stray weights lately? Jake suspected it a few weeks ago at your sparring session. No one wears sweats that long while boxing.” Toby had a look on his face that _screamed_ “duh!”

“ _That’s_ why you were totally covered up!” Mike snapped his fingers like he’d had some big revelation.

Toby walked over to the bench. Mona slid over to make room for him, letting him take a seat next to Emily.

She felt like a child sitting next to him. He was so much taller and bulkier than he’d been when they were kids. He put his hand on top of hers and looked at her sadly. The fact that she thought she had to hide it upset him.

“You could have told me.” Toby glanced up at her. “None of us would have thought any less of you.”

“I know.” Emily smiled wearily.

“Were you afraid you were going to get fired?” he asked.

Emily had more reason than that to be afraid, but telling them was risky.

“No. I just needed to be able to tell people on my own terms.” She looked at the steam room door and laughed cynically. “Not fall flat out on my face with it…”

“If it would make you feel better we could pretend that we don’t know and then when you do finally tell us with your glam baby photoshoot we could act all shocked.” Mike offered.

Emily smiled at him. The kid had a good heart.

“There’s just a lot that’s associated with teen pregnancy, you know?” And even more with her pregnancy.

“It’s all typical double standard bullshit.” Mona agreed.

“Exactly.” Emily nodded. “Every girl that gets pregnant is automatically branded a whore, but the guys get high fives and locker room victory cheers.” Emily rubbed her forehead. “And it’s even more complicated in my life. Because…hello…lesbian.” She waved her hands in front of her face.

“So…was it like…immaculate conception or…”

“Oh, my God, Mike, shut up.” Aria shook her head, slapping the back of his head.

But Emily wasn’t offended. She knew he wasn’t trying to be malicious. She knew the difference between hate and curiosity.

“It’s the classic ‘gay girl has to keep up appearances and sleeps with her beard’ story.”

She told them an abbreviated version. She hadn’t been intending on telling them her entire history, but now that the pregnancy was out she knew she had a lot of curious eyes on her. And it’s not like they were strangers. They were her friends.

She had held it in for as long as she could. Part of it was because she didn’t want people to look at her differently, but deep down she knew it was her guilt that kept her from saying anything.

It felt wrong telling people before Isaac. In a way, she was punishing herself for lying to him. She was punishing herself for taking his parents’ hush money and for not telling him the truth.

It was cathartic being able to talk about it to the people in her life. Her friends were supportive, just as she expected they would be.

Mike offered his solidarity in his typical Mike way.

“You know…” He seemed to be pondering something in thought. “Uncle Mike has a ring to it.” He scratched his chin. He glanced at his sister. “Always thought that I wouldn’t be an uncle until this one…” He prodded his sister, “…got together with Fitz and got married.”

“You _know_?” Aria’s head snapped towards her brother.

“Dude, you’ve only been following him around like a puppy for like…ever.”

Mike Montgomery had done the unachievable. He had broken the ice after an attempted murderer had nearly killed Emily and outed her pregnancy. He had made everyone laugh.

“He’s actually probably waiting for me. We were supposed to meet across the street for a snack…”

“Mmmhm, let me guess... _he’s_ the snack.” Mike eyeballed his sister.

“I think Emily nearly being killed takes precedence over that right now.” Aria looked at Emily. Emily could see the wheels turning in her head, “First Caleb. Now you…” She pinched her brows in thought. “Is there some secret serial killer in town?”

“I…” Emily almost told them. _Almost_. But it was the day before Valentine’s Day, and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin their weekend. “I don’t know. Did you say Noel is the one who got your attention?”

“He was apparently in the boy’s locker room taking a shower. Said he kept hearing strange noises. Then when he came out he told us he heard someone shouting for help.”

Emily pressed her lips together and furrowed her brow. What was the likelihood that he’d just coincidentally heard her calling for help? She wanted to believe the best in him. She wanted to believe that what he was telling her was true, but until they had answers he was still a suspect.

“Is he messing with you? Do I need to put him in his place?” Toby rubbed his knuckles.

“I can very much still knock Noel Kahn on his ass.” Emily assured him.

“Was he the one harassing you when you got back to town? That…fortune cookie thing?”

Emily couldn’t believe that Toby even remembered that.

“Oh, yeah. And then there was that night with the scaffolding.” Aria looked like she was putting something together in her head.

“And the Halloween Dance.” Mona added. She cocked her head curiously. “None of this is just a fluke, is it?” She looked worried. “Is someone out to get you?”

“No. It’s…” Emily was flustered. She had to keep them out of it. “It’s complicated. I don’t feel like getting into it.”

“Why? What’s going on? We’ll help you.” Aria put her hand on Emily’s arm. “Any way that we can.”

Emily knew that Aria was being sincere. But the investigation had already landed Maya and Caleb in the hospital. It had nearly gotten her and Alison killed more than once.

“I appreciate it. But I’m handling it. It’s nothing. Really.”

“It doesn’t _seem_ like nothing. And if Noel is behind it then I’ll take care of it.” Toby’s nostrils flared.

“It’s not…he’s not…” She shook her head in frustration. “Look, this isn’t what it looks like. I’m fine.” Emily assured them.

She managed to talk them down without spilling any information. She convinced them that she was fine, though she could tell by the looks on Toby’s and Mona’s faces that she hadn’t sold it completely.

Toby offered to let her go home and cancel his date, but Emily insisted that he go to the concert. She knew that Spencer was looking forward to it.

She tried to shake off her residual nerves. She went back to work like a total trooper. She spent the remainder of her night at the gym making sure everything was ready for the scavenger hunt she’d planned for Alison. It kept her busy.

It wasn’t until she left that evening that she saw the text.

**_Happy V-Day. You’re a HOT date. Next time you think about bringing the heat into this you’re going to get burned._ **

She grabbed her coat and frantically unzipped the pocket where she’d put the DNA results. They were gone. She threw her coat back into the locker and groaned. She tilted her head back and sighed. She didn’t have the energy to get angry. She was too exhausted.

The drive home cooled her off. She knew she could get more copies of the DNA profile. That wasn’t what bothered her. What bothered her was that someone had put her child in danger. Again. And on top of it they had invaded her privacy and had stolen something from her. The theft seemed trivial compared to everything else this person had done, but it was unsettling to think about.

When she got home she called Alison. She thought it was going to go to voicemail, but Alison picked up.

“Hey, there’s my sexy lady.” Her voice was warm and sensual with a hint of slur.

Emily picked up on it immediately.

“How many martinis did you sneak tonight?” Emily asked.

“I just needed a little something to take the edge off. My parents are insufferable. I’m not like _wasted_ wasted. I could walk a straight line and recite the alphabet and all that. Want to hear it?”

“You don’t have to…”

“It starts with U and ends with I.” She hummed happily. “U and I.” She sang a bar of an old Lady Gaga song.

“Smooth.” Emily laughed.

“How was work?” She had a drunken smile on her face that Emily could practically hear through the phone.

“Well…” Emily trailed off. “It’s been…a day.”

“Hanna texted me about Caleb. She told me that you told them to lie low?” She sounded confused.

“It’s getting too heated.” Literally. “Did she tell you about the DNA match?”

“No. She seemed really frazzled about Caleb. What did you find out?”

“Caleb figured out that the person Wilden ran a DNA profile on was at the bar the night you were drugged.”

Alison almost dropped the phone.

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know. Whoever it is isn’t in any databases. I don’t have a copy of it anymore either. Someone locked me in the steam room and broke into my locker to steal the hard copy. Caleb has backups though.”

“Someone _locked_ you in a steam room?” Alison shot up in her bed. “Jesus, Em, way to bury the lead. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Toby, Mona, Mike, and Aria got me out. But…” She chewed on her lip. “They know about the baby now.”

There was a period of dead silence on the line. Then Alison heaved into the phone.

“I’m coming over.”

“No!” Emily huffed out quickly. She knew it would ruin her Valentine’s Day plans if Alison came over. She didn’t want to spoil the surprise. “No, my parents are kind of crazy tonight.” She lied. “They’re leaving first thing in the morning, so it’s chaotic here. I promised my mom I’d help her finish up a few last minute things before they go. She’s actually calling for me now…”

“Em…”

“Everything is okay, Alison. I promise. I’ll talk to you in the morning, okay?”

“But I…”

“Just take it easy tonight. Rest up, Uptown Girl. I love you.”

Alison’s lips twitched. She smiled. Emily always knew exactly what to say to make everything better.

They said their “I love yous” and then Emily hurried off of the phone. She had a lot of work to do for their big day. The project took hours, but Emily used it as an escape from the real world. Sometimes fantasies and dreams were the only things that kept her sane. Love was all they had. And for the moment, it was enough.

* * *

The next morning after her parents left and after she had everything set up she texted Alison.

**_Come over. I have a surprise for you._ **

Alison was on her front porch five minutes later. She was still in her pajamas, which Emily thought was adorable. The blonde looked eager, like a kid on Christmas.

Emily led Alison into the kitchen, where she revealed that she’d made heart-shaped French toast sprinkled with powdered sugar and strawberries. She had also baked cookies in the shape of letters to spell out “I Love You”.

“You did all this for me?” Alison gawked at the set up.

Emily had decorated the kitchen with a banner and set up a centerpiece of roses in the middle of the table.

“We’re just getting started.” Emily smiled as she pulled her chair out for her and motioned for her to sit down.

The entire time she was eating breakfast Alison couldn’t stop thinking about how much Emily had done for her. She had gotten Emily a present, but she felt like it paled in comparison. Emily had been spoiling her all week and she fell into the comfort of it. She wanted to reciprocate, but she wasn’t sure how. She’d done little things like giving her massages to help with her tension and her swollen feet. She’d sent Emily a few candygrams, but she knew that wasn’t really her style.

Alison tried to enjoy her breakfast, but she was so nervous about the fact that her gift might not be enough.

By the time they’d finished Emily had put her mind at ease, as she always did. She kissed Alison on the cheek and started to clean up. She told her to go home and get changed into something warm.

“Can I just use _you_ as my something warm?” Alison walked up as Emily was putting a dish in the sink. She wrapped her arm around her lower abdomen and kissed the side of her neck.

“You need a coat. But maybe later we can start a fire.” Emily winked at her.

Alison wanted to see what else Emily had in store so she ran across the street to put on some winter clothes. It wasn’t too cold out. It was supposed to warm up to 50, but it was also supposed to rain later, which would make it chilly.

After she got changed into her favorite stylish outdoor gear…that she’d worn almost never…she glanced at a little box that was sitting on her dresser. The tiny felt case had something special Alison had picked out for her girl. But it was a money-gift. It wasn’t a well-planned thoughtful act of love. Emily had done so much for her. How was something store-bought supposed to compare?

She shoved the gift in her pocket and then double checked her make-up. Just as she was getting ready to stroll out the door her phone chimed. It was a message from Emily.

**_This is where the fun begins…_ **

There was a pause with three little ellipses. Then,

**_The morning has started, with our love open-hearted. The hunt is on early this dawn. Time to scavenge around until I’ve been found. I’m not at home. I’ve decided to roam. It’s your task to find me. Don’t let time make you pine me. It starts with something innocent and fair. A kiss, our first time, so high in the air. A place where we first made a connection. And now it’s a place our minds hold with nostalgic affection._ **

Alison glanced at the phone. Something about the game intrigued and excited her. She’d never had anyone go to enough trouble to make a scavenger hunt for her. And if that hunt ended with Emily completely naked somewhere she would roam all over the damn city to find her.

She ran out the door, her heart beating in her chest. The first clue was an easy one.

The treehouse. Their first kiss.

She climbed up the ladder. When she popped into the treehouse she saw that it had been decorated with red and pink balloons. There were pictures of the two of them on the wall, which was a new addition. She moved over towards the cot, which was neatly made up. In the center of it was a heart shaped envelope. Alison opened it and saw Emily’s handwriting,

**_Here I told you my secrets and you gave me your heart. We were children in love, but we were driven apart. Distance and time were a part of our lives. But forever together is where my heart lies. Then came our kisses and star-gazing, but that’s not where it picked up. It was elsewhere that you saw me and your heart ticked up. So go on and give it a whirl. Where did you first call me ‘Indigo Girl’?_ **

The first time Alison had seen Emily on her bike they’d argued about what color her hair was. They had been in front of the gym. Alison spun around and took several pictures of the treehouse before quickly rushing back down the ladder and out to her car.

It didn’t take her long to reach the gym. She rushed in through the front door, nearly bowling over some beefed up dude trying to walk out. She scanned the entire gym, but didn’t see Emily. She saw Toby at the front desk. She paced over to him.

“Hey, have you seen…”

Before she could finish her statement Toby hit a button his phone and _Uptown Girl_ started playing through the speakers. He smiled at Alison and handed her a small basket filled with sweets and a teddy bear. In the middle of it there was a snowglobe with a photo of the two of them. There was a motorcycle in the center of it and letters that spelled out AD & EF 4EVER. Alison picked through the basket with tears in her eyes. Emily had handpicked a bunch of things that represented their relationship. An image of _A Starry Night_. A beautiful fall foliage painting. A little bronze piano figurine.

In the middle of the basket she found another heart-shaped envelope. She ripped it open, eager for the next adventure.

**_We’ve poured out our hearts and have laid our scars bare. We’ve promised one another to always be there. We’ve eaten dinner by the cove and laid out under the stars. We’ve kissed in the dark and made out on top of your car (fun times!). We’ve gone on adventures and hiked many great trails. We’ve bared our souls and dreamed of setting our sails. We’ve wished many a wish for our love through and through. But it all started with one place where your wishes came true._ **

Alison had to think about it for a few minutes, because she’d done a lot of wishing. She’d wished on stars. She’d wished on eyelashes. She’d wished every time the clock struck 11:11. But the one place where she’d wished, _actively_ wished, for Emily was in the middle of the woods next to an old well.

Toby saw the look on her face. He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to her. It was a quarter that had a heart painted on it in red nail polish.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Alison,” Toby said with a sincere smile. “You’re lucky as hell to have her.”

“I really am.”

She thanked him and then rushed out the door. She drove to the park, which was the closest place she could get to in town that would cut through to get to the wishing well. She could have driven home, but she was too impatient. She wanted to find her girlfriend. She couldn’t wait to be in her arms.

She tore through the trees, her boots crunching against the dead leaves and twigs on the ground. She didn’t feel the cool February air. In fact, she was starting to feel warm. She knew part of it was all the running around. But the other part of it was her heart.

When she got to the wishing well she saw a bunch of paper hearts taped to the old structure, covering many of the crumbling bricks. When she got closer she saw little declarations of love on them.

_“I love the way your nose twitches in your sleep.”_

_“I love your determined spirit.”_

_“You have a kind heart.”_

_“Your beauty amazes me daily.”_

_“You have a great ass.”_

Alison laughed out loud when she read the one about her ass. She plucked it off of the well and folded it up and put it in her pocket right next to Emily’s gift. She reached for the heart-shaped envelope Emily had left for her.

**_Make a wish my sweet girl, and I hope it comes true. On the day you were wishing for me I was wishing for you. You captured my heart and I captured your spirit. We shouted from the clifftops for the whole town to hear it. I pulled you out of your comfort zone and took you on a ride. And you showed me there is no reason to hide. The spot in the woods is the perfect place for a kiss. And to enjoy the beautiful autumn foliage that we dare not miss. Your stars and my autumn. The wishes are ours, because we’ve caught’em._ **

Alison smiled. She knew exactly where she was going. She started to walk away, but she paused and then slowly turned around. She dug the quarter Toby had given her out of her pocket. She peered at it. There wasn’t any harm in wishing for more. It had worked the last time.

She closed her eyes and made a wish and then tossed the coin in.

She heard it plop into the icy water in the bottom below.

She trekked out to the kissing rock, avoiding the rocky cliff along the way. She took the long way around because she didn’t like hiking out in the woods without Emily. Emily seemed to know she’d take the safer path, because there were little hearts plastered to trees on the trail.

When she walked into the clearing leading to the kissing rock she saw hundreds of rose petals scattered in the shape of a heart. There were candles outlining the heart. Emily was standing in the middle of it holding a single rose.

Alison stopped and took a moment to stare at her. All the beautiful words that she had written…all the elaborate planning she’d done…it was incredible. The brunette had never looked more attractive than she did in that very moment.

Alison wanted to run over and leap into her arms, but she stayed walking at a steady pace, drinking in the love that she’d been showered in.

She stepped over the rose petals and into Emily’s awaiting arms. Emily had a confident look in her eyes, a cocky grin on her face.

“I told you I was going to make it unforgettable.”

“Emily. Violet. Fields.” She stared at her in disbelief.

“Still not my middle name,” Emily said with a teasing smile.

“How?” Alison looked at the set-up.

She thought about how much Emily had done for her. She felt the little gift she’d gotten her burning a hole in her pocket. She felt like kicking herself for not doing more. She should have rented a hot air balloon. She should have hired sky-writers. She should have bought them tickets to Paris. She should have done more.

“My dad helped me with some of it last night. And I did the rest this morning. I’ve been up since four.”

“Em…” Alison said softly, her voice breaking. “This is…” She looked around, “…it’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“You deserve spontaneity and romance and love.”

“All I need is you.” Alison gripped her hands and kissed her. Her lips were warm and soft despite the cool wind blowing. “But all of this other stuff is nice.” She smiled.

“Close your eyes.” Emily reached up to cup her cheek.

Alison felt her sweet breath against her face. She licked her lips, suddenly realizing how chapped they were. She slowly closed her eyes, waiting for Emily’s lips to meet hers, worrying about the fact that her lips were dry…worrying about the fact that she wasn’t going to be able to even come close to topping what Emily had done for her. She was so busy getting lost in her head that she was confused when she didn’t feel Emily’s lips against hers.

She felt Emily’s fingers gliding against her wrist. Something cool slipped over her fingers and slid down over the back of her hand. A bracelet.

Before she could open her eyes to look she felt Emily’s smooth silky lips against hers. Alison automatically kissed her back. She felt Emily’s forehead against hers. She opened her eyes and peered into her girlfriend’s loving eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Alison.” She smiled sweetly.

She curled the tips of her fingers into Alison’s fingers and lifted her hand to show her the charm bracelet. Alison’s face softened. She ran her fingertips over the little musical notes.

“Because you’re my good luck charm.” Emily explained. “And your music is transcendent. It’s like it has a line of communication directly to my soul.” And to her child.

Alison was speechless. She felt tears in her eyes. She wished she’d done more for Emily…she wished she’d planned more. That was the difference between her and Emily. Emily gave with her heart. Alison gave with her money.

“It’s so beautiful.” Alison gave her a watery smile. “This entire thing has been…” She couldn’t find the words. “You are amazing.”

“Only the best for my girl.”

“I have some surprises in store for you, too.” Alison glanced at her new bracelet nervously.

She was going to have to think on her feet. The jewelry in her pocket suddenly didn’t seem like enough. Emily deserved the world and more. She deserved to be courted and wooed and pampered. She deserved to live the life of a queen.

The wheels in her head were spinning out of control as she tried to plan the best day that she could think of while they walked the trails near the kissing rock together.

The spontaneity began with last minute reservations for a couple’s mani-pedi. Then she took her to a French café thirty miles outside of town that was difficult to get into on a regular day, much less Valentine’s Day. She’d thrown the DiLaurentis name out and they’d immediately penciled her in. Being the daughter of two socialites was helpful in some cases.

After lunch Alison treated her to a movie of her choice. They took a carriage ride around the city before heading back to Rosewood. When they got back to town Alison took her for ice cream.

They strolled around the park as dusk settled in. The warmth of the sun was slowly fading. It was starting to get chilly outside. They stopped at a bench for Emily to rest her weary feet. She was still too stubborn to admit when she was tired, but Alison could always tell.

She snuggled against her for warmth.

“This day has been amazing.” Emily leaned back, wrapping her arm around Alison’s shoulders.

Alison smiled at her. She slipped her hand into her pocket, her fingertips grazing the felt box that held Emily’s present. She pulled it out of her pocket.

“I’ve got one more thing for you…” Alison moved the box in between them. She flipped the lid up and held it out for Emily to see.

Emily stared in awe. She reached for the gift. Alison’s mouth felt dry as she watched Emily observe at the necklace. The silver chain link band was connected to two hearts that were linked together. One silver heart was larger than the other. Inside the larger one was Emily’s birthstone. Inside the smaller one was the baby’s birthstone…or at least according to her due date.

“Alison, this is beautiful.” Emily felt her breath hitch in her throat. She ran her fingers over the green stone inside the smaller heart. “Is this…”

“Yeah. Her birthstone. It’s interchangeable though in case she decides to come early or late. I just thought…you said you were keeping her. I…” She saw tears in Emily’s eyes and she got nervous, “…I hope it’s not too forward.”

Emily looked up at her. Alison felt the weight of the world, because Emily had spent weeks planning and putting a beautiful day together, and she had just flashed a credit card and bought something shiny.

“I…I know it’s not much considering what you’ve done for me. I’m sorry.” Alison bit her lip. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been in a real relationship. I…I wasn’t sure what to do. I feel like it’s not enough…”

“Ali…” Emily smiled, gently grasping her cheeks. “You don’t have to do anything to prove how much you love me. You’ve been taking care of me…of _us_ …” She touched her stomach, “...for months. I want this weekend to be all about you.”

She glanced at the necklace. She was touched at Alison’s heartfelt gesture. Alison had not only considered her, but she’d thought about the baby. She always did.

“This is perfect. I love it.” Emily touched the necklace.

Alison felt a flood of relief.

Emily pulled the jewelry out of the box. Alison helped her put it on. She left her fingertips lingering against the back of Emily’s neck. They leaned in for a kiss. Emily put her hand against Alison’s waist.

They barely noticed the tiny droplets of rain sprinkling around them as their lips smacked together. Alison felt a drop hit her eyelash. They looked up and saw that she sky was starting to darken. It started with a light drizzle, but then the rain got heavier. They got to their feet and were halfway to the car by the time the downpour hit.

Emily pulled her coat up over Alison to try and keep her dry. They were both giggling, despite the cold dreary weather.

They took cover under an awning. Water was dripping down Alison’s cheeks, but she was mostly dry. Emily, on the other hand, had taken the brunt of the sudden storm. Her clothes were drenched. Her hair was a beautiful tangled mess.

“So much for an epic Valentine’s Day.” Alison laughed.

“It’s still pretty epic.” Emily cupped her cheeks.

She moved in for a kiss as the rain padded the ground around them heavily. Alison wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck and mewled into the kiss. The heat from their bodies created a sticky moisture between them. Despite the warmth Alison felt Emily shudder.

Alison pulled back and trailed her knuckles against Emily’s damp cheek.

“You need to get out of these wet clothes.” Alison frowned.

“I was thinking the exact same thing.” Emily lifted her brows flirtatiously.

Alison smiled.

“We’ll have plenty of time for that, but you’re shivering, baby. You need a hot shower.” She was worried about her getting too cold. “You want to go to your apartment or do you want to go to your parent’s place?”

“The hot water still isn’t on at the apartment. Let’s go back to my parent’s place. We can just do something low key. My favorite thing in the world is just chilling with you.”

“That sounds like the perfect end to a perfect day.” Just her girl and a lot of snuggling.

Alison suggested they order Thai for dinner, so they called it in when they were on their way home.

They drove back to Emily’s place. Alison went home to slip into something a little more comfortable. She picked through her drawers searching for some lingerie she’d picked out specifically for the special occasion. She slipped on the lacy red matching bra and panties and then got dressed and walked over to Emily’s place.

The shower was still running. She heard Emily shout down the stairs that she would be done in five minutes. Alison briefly considered joining her, but she wanted Emily to have the joy of discovering the lingerie on her own.

She went to the kitchen to make her a pot of tea. She’d learned that Emily’s mother’s home brew was the best thing for Emily’s nausea. She took the tea into the living room and then scrolled through a list of movies to try and find the perfect one. She landed on _Love, Actually._

She heard the water cut off and then thumping around as Emily got dressed. She was finishing up just as the doorbell rang.

“Dinner!” Alison called out to her.

“Be right there!” Emily called down the stairs.

“Don’t forget your vitamins!” Alison called back as she reached for the door knob.

She opened the door. A young guy was staring back at her. He looked like he was about her age. Sometimes Alison forgot that teenagers actually _worked_. She’d never had to work a day in her life. She glanced at the boy’s empty hands.

“Do you have the food?” Alison asked in confusion.

“Um…is this not the Fields’ place?” He seemed confused.

“Yeah…”

“Is Emily here?”

“Why?” Alison’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t like the idea of some strange boy trying to find her girlfriend, especially not with some psycho after her. “What do you want with Emily?”

“That’s _my_ business.” He wasn’t rude, but he was curt.

“Who the hell are you?” Alison frowned.

“What’s with all these questions? Who the hell are _you_?”

Before he had a chance to answer she heard a shocked gasp from behind her, followed by the sound of a glass hitting the floor.

The noise that came out of Emily’s mouth triggered something in Alison. She looked into the boy’s eyes and she realized something. She’d seen him before. In photos. He looked different standing in front of her. Taller. More muscular. His hair had grown out, too.

“Isaac?” Emily’s voice was shaking.

Alison saw his eyes widen. She turned around and realized that Emily was in a tank top. It didn’t hide her belly at all. It was glaringly obvious. She saw the pale look on Emily’s face, and then she turned back around and saw the shocked look on Isaac’s face.

Alison’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. Emily’s past was standing in front of them staring them directly in the eyes. It was like a living nightmare. The dreams of hearts and flowers and love was shattered in an instant. Everything they’d planned was crashing down around them. Alison feared that it was an ominous dark cloud of things to come. Emily had enough going on in her life. She didn’t need the added complication of her ex. Her life was already stressful.

She had been hoping that their romantic weekend together would take Emily’s mind off of everything. She didn’t want her to focus on the past. She wanted her to look towards the future. _Their_ future. But as Alison looked between her girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend she realized that the short-lived dream was tail-spinning into a disaster. The plane they were on was crashing and there was nothing she could do to get control of it.

The fantasy was over.

Reality hit like a bitch.


	27. All’s Fair in Love and War

**A/N:** _This is an uber-long chapter. Be prepared with a stash of snacks. Ration appropriately._

* * *

**Chapter 27:**

**All’s Fair in Love and War**

Emily’s heart fluttered in a panic. There was a strange dark vortex swirling in her field of vision. The floor felt like a pool of quicksand dragging her into its deadly undertow. It didn’t feel real. She grabbed the arm of the couch for support, just to prove to herself that she wasn’t going to drown. She dug her fingers into the fabric, gripping it like it was her only tether to reality.

Her eyes darted between Isaac and Alison. His eyes were fixed on her belly in concentration. She could see him trying to calculate it in his head. His brow furrowed as his face stiffened. He pushed his lips out and started to say something, but all that came out was a muttered noise that wasn’t a word in the English language.

She glanced down and saw the tea that she’d spilled all over the floor, but she was too fixated on her ex-boyfriend to care.

Alison looked between them, panicked. She felt the impulsive desire to slam the door in his face and help Emily plot an elaborate escape. She started to push the door closed, but Isaac shoved his foot in front of it and held his hand up to keep it from slamming shut.

“Emily?” The look on his face had morphed into a twisted pained expression.

 _God, don’t look at me like that._ She couldn’t stand it. She’d betrayed him. And now he knew it.

“Isaac, what are you doing here?”

He stepped forward, pushing past Alison. The blonde huffed angrily at him. She wanted to protect her girlfriend, but she didn’t know how.

“This…it’s not what it looks like.”

“So you’re _not_ keeping my kid a secret from me?” His nostrils flared.

Alison took a protective stance immediately. She put herself between Isaac and Emily. She narrowed her eyes, daring him to come closer. If he wanted to get to Emily he’d have to go through her first.

“You don’t get to barge in here and make assumptions about _anything_.” Alison clenched her jaw.

“Ali, don’t…” Emily gently reached out for her arm.

“How do you even know the baby is yours?” She snapped.

“Because I know my girlfriend…”

“ _Ex_.” Alison growled.

“She can’t lie to me.” Isaac replied. His hands were shaking, but he kept his composure. He took a breath and looked at Emily. “We need to talk.” Then he faced Alison. “You mind giving us some privacy?”

Alison felt a flash of anger surging over her. This was Emily’s house. Emily was _her_ girlfriend. Isaac had ruined their evening. He was making Emily uncomfortable. He was rude and selfish for coming by without calling, especially on Valentine’s Day.

Emily had told him she was dating someone. Had he just assumed he could come by and try to steal her away from her love? What a dick move.

“I’m not going anywhere. This is _her_ house.” Alison sneered. “You don’t get to show up and boss her around…”

“He’s right,” Emily said. Her tone was unwavering, but her eyes were full of fear and doubt.

She knew the talk was long overdue. She had waited too long. She had lied to him for too long.

Alison peered at Emily, a sting of hurt on her face. Was Emily choosing him over her? Or was she just so blinded by the shock that she couldn’t see what he was doing? He was manipulating her feelings.

The blonde wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or if her protective instincts were on overdrive, but she couldn’t fight the nagging sensation that there was something more to Isaac’s visit. What if the torture had been Isaac all along? What if it was his plan to come at Emily when she was most vulnerable? What if his plan was to get her alone and then strike when she was least expecting it?

“No. No way.” Alison glared at the boy and then looked at Emily. “I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone.”

“Alison, go.” Emily’s voice was gruff and commanding. It caught Alison off-guard. It was a tone that she had never heard before. “Go home.”

“Em, what if he…” She trailed off.

Emily shook her head, cutting her off. She knew exactly what Alison was thinking. But she knew in her heart that Isaac wouldn’t hurt her.

“Let me handle it,” Emily said.

“ _Handle it_?” Isaac shook his head, laughing darkly. “Everything we had. _This…_ ” He pointed to her stomach, “…and I’m just something that needs to be ‘handled’?”

“No. Of course not.” Emily turned towards him sympathetically.

Emily knew she shouldn’t be shocked by his hostility, but it still hurt. Because he was Isaac. And she was Emily. And they’d never had a fight in their lives.

She didn’t know why she cared so much. He wasn’t a part of her life anymore. Except that he always would be. Not just because he’d given her her daughter, but because he’d played an important role in her life. Her journey of self-discovery had started long before she met him. But that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. They had memories. They had a friendship that Emily wouldn’t trade for the world. She’d loved him. Just not in the right way. And those feelings and memories weren’t just null and void because they weren’t together anymore.

What they’d had was real. It just wasn’t love.

“Why would you hide this from me?” Isaac’s voice cracked, and with it, a little piece of Emily’s heart shattered.

“It’s complicated…”

“I don’t understand.” He shook his head and started pacing. “This is…it’s…” He looked nauseated. “I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“Just…breathe.” Emily motioned for him to sit down, reaching for his arm to steady him.

“Don’t fucking tell me to breathe!” He jerked away from her.

It shocked her. His behavior was nothing like the Isaac that she knew.

“Don’t talk to her like that.” Alison snarled defensively.

“I can take care of myself.” Emily glanced at Alison over her shoulder.

She was glaring at the blonde. She thought her presence might be making it worse, though she didn’t want Alison to feel like that. She didn’t want her to feel like an added burden. She turned her attention back to Isaac, who seemed like he was having a panic attack. She had never in her life seen him panic.

“Calm down…” Emily said warily.

“Calm down?” He laughed cynically. “You up and leave my life without telling me that you’re having a baby… _our_ baby…and you want me to calm down? What were you thinking? I would have done anything for you, Emily. If I had just known…”

“Then what? I still had to move away.”

“I could have done _something_!” He raised his voice. “Instead you turned me into one of those deadbeat dads whose babies grow up hating them.”

“I would never…” Emily gawked. “I would _never_ let this baby think poorly of you.”

“What exactly did you have planned for when you started getting the question ‘where’s my daddy?’ You have something in line for that? Were you just going to show up on my doorstep one day? Or worse…just find some second-rate daddy-wannabe to be _my_ kid’s father figure? Who does that?”

“Listen, I want to have this conversation with you, but I have been through _a lot_ these past few months.” More than he could ever imagine. More than she could tell him. She wanted to reach for Alison’s hand. She wanted to find comfort in the heat of the moment, but she knew Isaac was slowly coming unhinged. She needed to get him to settle down. “If you want to talk it’s going to be best for both of us _and_ the baby to...Calm. The. Fuck. Down.”

“Sure. Just give me a few minutes to reconcile that I have a _child_ on the way.” He made a strange noise, his chest spasming as he gulped back a weird gurgle. “I just…I don’t understand.” Tears were glistening in his eyes. “You made me a statistic. An absent father.” His jaw was rigid. “How did you know I wouldn’t want to be a dad? It’s just ridiculous…that you…” He clutched his fists. “You had no right to hide this from me!”

He was mid-rant when something in his face changed. He reached up and gripped his temples with his knuckles like he had a sudden blinding headache. A rolling wave of dizziness seemed to overtake him. He grabbed the back of the couch and lowered his head. His adam’s apple bobbed.

“Isaac?” Emily asked in uncertainty. It looked like he was about to faint.

“I’m fine. I think I just…” He swallowed hard. His face twisted into a look of discomfort. “Bathroom?” He slapped his hand over his mouth.

Emily had barely pointed him in the direction of the bathroom before he’d taken off. He disappeared, slamming the door behind him. Seconds later they heard him retching.

Alison danced on her feet, balancing on one foot and then the other as she looked between the bathroom and the front door.

“I don’t like him being here…” Alison frowned.

“You think I’m happy about it?” Emily huffed. She was still in disbelief.

“I don’t want to go. I don’t want him here with you alone. I don’t even want him in _there_ unsupervised…” He could be doing all kinds of things.

“He’s blowing chunks…”

Alison looked skeptical.

“What do you think is wrong with him?” Alison asked.

“Sympathy nausea?” Emily was trying to keep her wits, but Alison could hear the terror in her tone. “He…uh…he gets queasy when he’s mad.”

“It sounds like he’s fucking raging right now.” Which just reaffirmed her decision about leaving Emily alone. “I’ll stay if you want me to.” She touched the brunette’s hand.

“I’ve put this off for too long.” There was a distant look on Emily’s face. “I owe him this conversation…just the two of us.”

Everyone knew. All of her friends knew. But Isaac was still in the dark. It was a terrible feeling. She saw the determined look on Alison’s face, and she knew it wasn’t going to be easy getting her to leave.

“Ali, I love you,” she said quietly. “But this is something I have to do on my own.”

Alison frowned. She understood, but she still didn’t like the idea.

“Are you going to tell him?” She peered over Emily’s shoulder.

“Pretty sure he’s already figured it out.” Emily snorted sarcastically.

“I meant about us.” She pressed her body against Emily’s, gripping both of her hands.

“Yes. But one thing at a time.” She touched her stomach.

Alison followed her motions, slipping her palm underneath Emily’s tank top. She wanted the baby to know that no matter what happened, she would always be there. She felt a flutter of motion. Alison and Emily exchanged quiet smiles.

“I’ll be right outside.” Alison pecked her lips.

“I don’t want you catching a cold. Please just go home. I’ll call you. I promise.”

“I swear if he does anything to you…”

“You have my permission to murder him horribly.” Emily nodded, trying to calm her down.

How had she ended up in the middle of her ex-boyfriend and her girlfriend and somehow taking care of _both_ of them?

Alison sighed. She knew she couldn’t change Emily’s mind. She looked at the door hesitantly, then she looked back at Emily.

“You sure you don’t want me to hide in the closet with a very large stick?”

Emily shook her head with a soft laugh and then leaned forward and pressed a delicate kiss against her lips.

“Just be careful.” Alison leaned her forehead against Emily’s and put her palm against her stomach again. The only thought running through her head was _“my girls”._

Alison left without a fight. She paused on the front porch. She’d promised Emily she’d go home, but it was so hard to leave her, especially with a temperamental ex-boyfriend.

Normally, Emily would have walked her home, but she was too swept up in the shock of seeing Isaac again. She walked towards the bathroom door.

“Isaac?” She lightly rapped on the door. “You okay?”

“I just need a few minutes.” His voice sounded distorted because his head was nearly in the toilet.

Emily went into the kitchen to make him something to settle his stomach. Alison had already brewed some tea, but half of it was soaking into the carpet. Her mother was going to have a heart attack.

She grabbed the empty tea kettle and turned the sink on. She stared at the water flowing out of the faucet. She watched as the water splashed against the shiny stainless steel.

She was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that her ex-boyfriend was in her house. And he knew about the baby. The look of betrayal on his face had almost been too much to bear. He’d always had the most expressive eyes. She could see everything in them. And his grief had been tangible.

Emily thought about one of the last times she’d seen Isaac. It was a memory she’d tried to bury. But she’d never be able to forget the look on his face when she broke his heart. It was raw and visceral. She’d actually been able to pinpoint the exact moment his heart had shattered.

She had seen a slight quiver in his lip. He’d tried to hide his emotions, but he couldn’t hide from her. And she didn’t deserve to be spared his pain. Because she’d led him on. She deserved to see what she’d done to him. His anguish was almost enough to stop her from going through with it, but she knew it wasn’t fair to him. And she’d already made a deal with his parents.

She’d wanted privacy, but his parents had already banned her from his house, and she didn’t want to do it at her house. Instead, they’d gone for a walk at a trail at a campsite near Isaac’s house.

* * *

It was uncharacteristically cool for a summer day. Storm clouds were moving in, which Emily found painfully ironic given the circumstances. They’d walked in silence, Isaac taking in the beauty of nature while Emily squirmed internally about what she was about to do.

The thunder was rumbling in the distance. Every so often a stray droplet of rain would fall around them. Emily could hear the crunching sounds of their boots crushing the sticks and leaves and rocks below them. Her cargo shorts made a swishing sound as they trekked on the trail. She could hear animals scurrying around in front of them. And behind them. Emily kept looking back, but she never saw anything.

Halfway through their walk Isaac picked up on Emily’s nerves. He’d faced her in concern and asked if she was okay.

That’s when she’d blurted out that they needed to talk. Then everything had come pouring out of her. He’d just stood there shell-shocked and listened. After she’d told him she wanted to break up the woods around them were completely silent. She heard a twig snapping in the distance, but she didn’t dare turn her gaze away from Isaac.

 _“Where is this coming from?”_ he’d stared at her in disbelief.

He’d been in such deep denial about the fact that she was drifting away.

_“We’re just not working.”_

_“But I love you.”_ He’d reached for her hand, but she’d pulled away. It had crushed him.

All she could think about was the baby. And his parents. And what she was going to do. She was swimming through a sea of emotions. She felt like she was drowning. She couldn’t get up for air.

_“Em, we’re so good together.”_

They were. As friends.

 _“Did I do something wrong?”_ He’d looked so confused. So hurt. _“Whatever it is, let’s talk it out.”_

 _“It’s not you, Isaac. It’s…”_ She’d stopped. Was she really going to give her best friend the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech? _“I care about you so much.”_ She avoided the word ‘love’. It would be too cruel to tell him that. _“But I don’t know…I’m just going through some things. And I’m starting to realize that…”_

She’d paused and let her thoughts consume her…

_I’m starting to realize that I can’t hide my sexuality from my parents forever. I feel like I’m drowning. I can’t lie to you anymore. I can’t lie to the world anymore. I’m gay. Oh, and also…pregnant with your baby. There’s a tiny human growing inside of me and your parents don’t want me to tell you and I don’t know if I want to tell you either. And I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do._

Emily had held it all inside. She’d wanted to tell him everything. They’d never had secrets, not like this. But she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say any of it. Not to him.

He could see the agony on her face.

 _“Babe, what’s wrong?”_ He’d reached out to touch her cheek.

When she blinked she’d realized that her vision was fuzzy. It took her several seconds to realize that her eyes were flooded with tears. She was overwhelmed.

She’d moved back and pulled away from his touch.

_“I just can’t do this anymore.”_

_“I don’t…I don’t understand.”_ His voice wavered. _“Is this because of the sex?”_

It was almost laughable.

Yes, part of it was because of the sex. Not only the fact that she hated it so much that she detached from the moment every time they were intimate…or even kissed, but also the fact that having sex had caused something _neither_ of them was prepared to handle.

_“I didn’t rush you into it, did I? We can stop if you want. The guys just talk about it so much, and I really love you. I thought we were both ready. I mean…I haven’t hurt you or anything, have I? Did we go too fast? Were you…did you not want to…”_

His kindness and his compassion only made it harder for her.

_“No. No, that’s not it at all.”_

He had never once made Emily feel uncomfortable, at least not intentionally. He was the most generous and thoughtful person she had ever met, in all aspects.

 _“I’m just in a really weird place in my life. And I…I need to figure some things out. And you deserve to be with someone who can…”_ He deserved to be with someone who could love him back the way that he loved her. _“You deserve someone better than me.”_

 _“What are you talking about?”_ He’d been taken aback. _“You’re the best person I know.”_ He’d stepped forward and closed the space between them. With him being so near she could see the tears in his eyes. _“I love you so much, Em.”_

 _I know._ She’d thought sadly.

He loved her so much that it hurt.

She could think of every excuse in the book to walk away, but there was only one reason to stay. And it wasn’t love. If she stayed with him it would just be for the baby’s sake. But Emily could never live that life. She was already suffocating. She couldn’t pretend to be someone she was not. She couldn’t lie to him anymore.

_“I’m so sorry, Isaac. But it’s over.”_

Her heart was aching because of what she was putting him through. It took a wild amount of strength to turn and walk away.

Before she could go anywhere Isaac grabbed her hand. It wasn’t forceful. It was just enough to hold her in place. If she’d really wanted to she could have easily let her fingers slip away from his, but there was something in his heartbroken gaze that caused her to pause. Her friend was in pain. Pain that she’d caused.

 _“Don’t you love me?”_ His face softened. His sweet soulful eyes peered into hers.

She didn’t know how to tell him that she was doing this _because_ she loved him. She just wasn’t _in love_ with him. She couldn’t love him the way he wanted to be loved.

Her silence spoke more volumes than anything she could have said in response. He’d lowered his head and let out a shaky breath.

_“Please tell me how to fix this. Please.”_

_“It’s not broken. We’re not broken. We just…we weren’t meant to be.”_ She’d bitten her lip. _“Not like this. Isaac, you’re my best friend…”_

_“Then why am I not good enough for you?”_

Emily felt an odd shift in her heart. A quiet guilt. She let out a shuddering breath. She couldn’t stop crying, despite the fact that _she_ was the one breaking up with him. She hated seeing him hurt.

She’d reached up and touched his jaw. She could feel the tension in the way he was gritting his teeth, trying not to cry. She wasn’t sure if being so close was helping or hurting.

_“You are the most amazing guy I know. And I owe you so much more than this. I wish I could explain it, but…I just…this is just the way it has to be.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because I don’t feel the same way about you that you feel about me.”_ It was as close to the truth as she was willing to say. _“I…I want to, but I don’t. And I’m sorry.”_

A tear had slipped down her cheek. She couldn’t quite pinpoint why she was crying. Because he was hurting? Because she was letting go of the last thing that was keeping her in the dark lonely closet?

He didn’t know the reason for her tears either, but he comforted her nonetheless. He swiped his calloused thumb against her cheek, catching the tears as they slid down her face.

_“Isaac, I’m so sorry.”_

She’d spent the entirety of their relationship avoiding his touch, but something about his heartbreak brought out a sensitivity in her. She’d reached up and laid her palm against his chest. She could feel his heart beating...breaking underneath her fingertips. He’d wrapped his arm around her waist.

 _“Please don’t do this. Don’t break my heart.”_ His voice quivered, just the slightest bit. _“This can’t be…it can’t be it for us. I don’t…I don’t want this to be over. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t imagine my life without you.”_

 _“I’m still here.”_ At least for the moment. She wanted to let him have that moment.

 _“It’s not the same.”_ He’d searched her eyes for any hint of uncertainty…any hint of regret. He didn’t see anything except her concrete resolve. And all he could do was accept it. _“It’s never going to be the same, is it?”_

Emily tearfully shook her head. She stayed in his embrace for what felt like hours. But only seconds had ticked by. She’d looked up at him and wiped her face.

_“I’m um…I’m going to go now.”_

_“Not yet.”_ He’d begged. _“Just…just give me one more minute…”_

_“Isaac…”_

_“Sixty seconds. That’s all I’m asking.”_ He’d wrapped his arms around her.

He’d lowered his chin and kissed the top of her head, taking in the aroma of her scent, then he’d laid his chin against the top of her head and took a shuddering breath. She could feel his chest heaving as he silently cried.

He couldn’t accept that it was happening. He couldn’t acknowledge that he was losing the best thing that had ever happened to him. Emily knew what it meant to him to have those precious seconds. So she gave them to him.

But after the sixty seconds were up…when she pulled away she’d left him alone. Heartbroken. Perplexed. She’d felt like the scum of the Earth.

The entire time she was making her way out of the woods she thought she was being followed, but when she looked back she didn’t see Isaac anywhere in sight.

She’d ended up near the bench at the church where she’d first introduced herself to Isaac. She’d been drawn to it because she wanted to remember the better memories. Back before she’d screwed everything up. She’d still been with Maya. And she’d made a best friend in Isaac. Things had felt so right.

She’d leaned up against the large oak tree overlooking the picnic area and stared up at the leaves as she’d silently cried. She cried so hard that her stomach started to hurt.

She felt an aching sensation in her jaw. She realized she was gritting her teeth. The tension in her neck was starting to burn. Her stomach was twisted in knots. She felt like she was going to throw up, but she wasn’t sure if it was because she had cried so hard or if it was her first pregnancy related bout of nausea.

She’d slid down, her back against the bark. There was a large slot in the giant oak that her body fit into perfectly. If she could disappear into the tree she would have. She’d curled her arms around her body, feeling a sudden chill. The tree swayed above her as the storm started rolling in.

She saw a shadow looming over her and she assumed it was a cloud, but when she looked up she saw the silhouette of a girl, her hair whipping in the wind. She saw her icy hollow blue-grey eyes peering down at her.

Any other day Emily would have spit venom at her. Any other day she would have told her to get lost. But she didn’t have the energy. She didn’t have the strength.

 _“Why are you here?”_ Why was she _always_ there?

Courtney didn’t answer. Instead she’d quietly moved down to sit next to her. Her close proximity made Emily’s skin crawl, but she couldn’t get the signal to her feet to get up and move.

 _“Courtney, I can’t do this with you today. So whatever it is that you’re going to say…or do…just save it. For once in your life. Please.”_ She knew it was asking too much of her to be a decent human being, but she had to try.

Courtney cocked her head curiously. Emily’s tears confused her. She’d never seen her cry. The blonde looked around with a strange expression on her face. She looked nervous.

_“I’m just checking on you. You seem upset.”_

Emily had to work to keep her jaw from dropping. There was no world in which Courtney would _ever_ show her compassion. It always ended in some vicious manner. She smelled a trap. Even so, there was something different in Courtney’s tone…in her mannerisms. But Emily knew she could turn it on and off.

_“I…um…I know I give you hell sometimes…”_

Emily cut her off with a sarcastic laugh and an eye roll.

 _“Sometimes?”_ She’d side-eyed her.

 _That_ was an understatement.

She turned towards the blonde, an accusatory look on her face. Emily hated feeling like she was some kind of a toy. Courtney had always looked at her like she was a caged animal that existed solely for her entertainment. Emily was a fish in an aquarium. Courtney was the sadistic child tapping on the glass, mocking her. Emily’s pain and discomfort amused her. It’s almost like she got off on it.

She relentlessly used her prowess with no regard for her actions. She manipulated and used her, and then went out of her way to gaslight her. She liked to feign innocence, but Courtney knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

 _“Well, you don’t make it very easy.”_ Courtney scowled, dropping her hands to her sides.

Their fingers brushed together in the dirt. Courtney looked down and slowly moved her fingertips over Emily’s. Emily yanked her hand away.

 _“Right, I’M the problem.”_ Emily scoffed.

_“God, I’m trying to be nice. What’s your damage?”_

_“Are you seriously asking me that?”_ Emily felt her face get hot. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire.

She was so mixed up and so angry. She expected Courtney to fire back something snotty, but the blonde just peered at her, her head slightly tilted. She looked like she was trying to figure something out. It’s like she’d never seen anyone cry before. Or maybe she’d never cared when she’d seen people cry.

Courtney started to say something, but her mouth just hung open in a slight ‘o’ as her eyes narrowed in thought. She batted her eyelashes and closed her mouth. There was a strange look on her face, like she was scrutinizing her. Her expression was an equal mix of irritation and empathy. It was a weird combination.

Courtney reached up, moving the backs of her knuckles against Emily’s cheek, wiping away one of her tears.

Emily flinched uncomfortably, thinking about just how quickly all of their other interactions had turned. She waited for something terrible to happen.

Courtney met her gaze as she pulled her hand back. She pried her eyes away from Emily to look down at her hand, staring at the tear on her knuckle.

_“You’re crying.”_

She was like a child trying to understand something. Or she was a poisonous predator luring Emily into a trap. It was so damn hard to tell.

Emily looked at the blonde. The first time they’d ever met she had been wary of her. There was a sadistic darkness in her eyes. Every time she walked into a room the air felt colder. Being around her made the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

It was still baffling to Emily that Courtney was Isaac’s sister. They were nothing alike and they had very few shared features.

They both had dimples. They had the same pouty lips and the same quizzical arch in their brow when they were observing things. But their bone structure was drastically different.

Isaac’s face was soft, chiseled with a defined jaw and prominent cheek bones. Courtney’s features were sharper. Her heart-shaped face was rounded out by her angled jaw.

They looked nothing alike, yet when Courtney looked at her with intrigue Emily could see traces of her brother. It only made her pain worse. She’d just left him standing there alone in the woods.

She felt like a monster. She felt like she’d been using him without any regard for his feelings…stringing him along, dangling him like a fish on a line.

She felt like…Courtney.

Courtney leaned back against the tree. She looked comfortable despite the light drizzle of rain coming down around them.

_“Are you going to talk or are you just going to sit there like a sad lump?”_

_“Courtney, go away. Just leave me alone.”_

She’d turned away from the blonde, angling her body away. She was hoping if she pretended she wasn’t there that Courtney would disappear. She didn’t have it in her to fight.

She had spent so much wasted energy fighting Courtney. At the pool. In the locker room. In bar bathrooms. The girl had tried breaking her down time and time again. She was exhausted.

Courtney stretched her legs out against the soft soil. The heels of her shoes scuffed against the ground, leaving indents in the dirt. She was _very_ aware that Emily wasn’t watching her. It really irritated her.

_“You know, I was reading one of my favorite books the other day. And I got to this passage, ‘The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills…”_

She looked down and saw a little red and black bespeckled bug skimming a trail right next to her index finger. She casually lifted her hand as she watched it crawl towards Emily. She laid her finger in its path. The ladybug paused but then started crawling along the edge of her finger.

Courtney watched it walk as she slowly turned her palm face up. The ladybug reached the tip of her finger. Its wings started to expand, but before it could take off in flight she pressed her thumb against it, crushing it slowly.

_“…it kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially…”_

She’d stared at the remains of the little creature that had painted her finger black and red. She reached down and coolly wiped her hands clean. She reluctantly reached out to touch Emily’s arm, but pulled back at the last second.

_“…if you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too, but there will be no special hurry’.”_

Emily still had her face turned away, but her curiosity got the better of her. She glanced at the blonde, trying to figure out what her game was this time. Courtney looked perfectly serene. It was strange that she was sitting out in the rain quoting classic literature at her.

 _“A Farewell to Arms.”_ Emily recognized the quote. She’d done a report on the novel in ninth grade.

_“Hemingway.”_

She didn’t know it at the time, but Courtney had seen her with the Hemingway book in the library one day, and that’s what had sparked her interest in Hemingway. She had initially started reading it with the intention of finding things to counterpoint in Emily’s book report, but she had ended up captivated by his writing style.

She’d seen Emily in the library again the day before the report was due, but the brunette wasn’t alone. She was with some edgy girl that Courtney didn’t recognize.

She’d sauntered around in the stacks and listened to their conversation. The girl’s name was Maya, and she smiled at Emily _a lot_. Emily seemed to really enjoy her company.

They’d been talking about jazz music, which irritated Courtney, because Emily was supposed to be working on Hemingway and not talking about some stupid jazz album. But the Maya girl convinced her to incorporate things like jazz music and Langston Hughes into her report. They’d talked about the cultural shift that had been taking place back in that time.

Maya’s stupid suggestion had ruined everything. Courtney was sure that Emily had something great planned all on her own. She didn’t need someone coming along and telling her what to do.

When Emily had done her oral report in class Courtney had just watched from the back of the classroom. She hated the paper, but she was intrigued with watching Emily speak. She had an air of confidence to her.

When it came time for the class participation part, Courtney had feigned complete disinterest. She’d filed her nails and ignored the Q&A session. She’d made several snarky remarks about how if Emily wanted to talk music she should join the marching band with all the other geeks. Emily had simply ignored her, which pissed her off.

Emily never knew how much Courtney actually liked Hemingway, so she was stunned to hear her quote the man word for word.

Courtney saw the perplexed look on Emily’s face. She’d looked away from the brunette. Her gaze was fixed on the bench near the church.

 _“I thought you hated Hemingway.”_ After Courtney had trashed her report she’d assumed that she hated Hemingway. Or her. Or both.

 _“You can hate something and love it at the same time. It’s called cognitive dissonance.”_ She’d lifted her hand and brushed some granules of dirt off of her palm. _“We selectively accept certain realities. We make justifications. But it doesn’t matter in the end. It doesn’t matter because life is cruel and unfair. It breaks you…”_ There was a spark of emotion in her eyes, a flash of anger on her face. _“It takes from you.”_ Her lips twisted into a sneer, _“It steals your happiness. Steals what you want…”_ Her anger slowly melted into a strange kind of sadness. Her eyes looked glassy. For a minute, Emily thought she might cry. _“Some people have everything and they’re ungrateful…they’re ungrateful for things that other people would kill to have. Hemingway’s point is still relevant. Bad things happen to people who don’t deserve it. Life is a vast construct that is designed to crush people underneath the weight of their own grief.”_

_“Kind of a bleak way of looking at things.”_

_“The world is bleak. You get hurt by the people who were never supposed to hurt you. People hurt you…”_ she’d lifted her head and locked eyes with Emily. _“You hurt me.”_

 _“Excuse me?”_ Emily huffed out a sardonic laugh. _“I hurt YOU?”_

_“You put me in the hospital.”_

_“You put YOURSELF in the hospital.”_ She whipped her neck to the side. Her fingers were twitching. It was taking every ounce of self-control she had not to fly off in a rage. _“You do realize that what you did that day constitutes as assault, right? I could have turned you in. I SHOULD_ _have.”_ The only reason she didn’t is because she knew it would come back on Isaac somehow. Courtney would torture him on behalf of Emily. _“You have spent years trying to destroy me…”_

 _“I wasn’t trying to…”_ Courtney replied softly. It was a startling response, and Emily had no idea how to react. _“You hurt me. Then you left me there. You left me alone.”_

 _“What else was I supposed to do?”_ Emily hissed through her teeth. _“Do you know the hell you’ve put me through? It’s been a battle with you every fucking day. At school. At your house. With Isaac…”_

The second she said his name it sparked a painful feeling in her gut. He was still out there somewhere, trying to come to terms with the shock that it was over. He wouldn’t have gone home. He was probably out by the stream where they used to dip their feet in the water and skip rocks across the current.

 _“My brother has nothing to do with this,”_ she’d replied in a snotty tone.

 _“Then please…enlighten me.”_ Emily cut her eyes at the blonde. _“What IS this about?”_

Courtney leaned forward and lifted her chin, moving her arms in a languid motion as she rolled her shoulders.

_“Remember the church ski trip?”_

_“What about it?”_

_“Why did you pick to sit next to Isaac over me?”_

Because he’d seemed like less of a psychopath.

 _“We just had more in common.”_ Emily brushed the question off.

_“We both know that’s not true.”_

There was a rumble of thunder in the distance. The breeze rustled in the trees, sending leaves floating down in front of them.

Emily stared at Courtney.

_“I don’t know what you want me to say.”_

_“I want you to start being honest.”_

_“You want honesty?”_ Emily laughed harshly. _“You infuriate me. You’re mean and sadistic and cruel. You manipulate people. You don’t take responsibility for ANY of your actions. You have no remorse…and no consideration for other people’s feelings. You don’t care who you hurt as long as you get what you want…”_

Courtney didn’t answer. She just kept her gaze fixed straight ahead. Emily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

 _“You have no idea the damage you cause…”_ She felt a lump tightening in her throat. She was on the verge of crying again. _“I don’t even know why I bother with you. I don’t. Just…”_ She looked up at Courtney, her eyes brimming with pain. _“Go away. You got what you want, okay? We don’t have to pretend to be civil anymore. So just…go the fuck away.”_

 _“Emily…”_ Her name rolled off of Courtney’s lips softly in a tone that Emily had never heard before. She gave her a loving glance as she reached up to push a strand of Emily’s freshly dyed hair behind her ear. Emily was so shocked at the motion that she froze. Courtney’s palm hovered over her cheek. _“If you keep holding everything inside it will destroy you.”_ She slowly lowered her hand. _“Believe me, I know.”_

 _“You’ve hated me since the second we met.”_ Emily bit down on her lip, her eyes still burning.

 _“I don’t.”_ Courtney shook her head. _“I don’t…I could never hate you,”_ she sighed. _“But…what you are…”_ She took a hesitant breath, like she was really trying to consider her words, _“Sweetie, it’s not natural…”_

_“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know me. You don’t know the first thing about who I am.”_

_“I know that you put a lot of effort into being someone you’re not. I’ve seen you. The REAL you. The you that you’re afraid to be.”_ She reached up and rubbed Emily’s arm. _“Earnest. Sweet little lamb…”_ she said quietly. _“You’ve just been led astray for so long…”_

 _“This ‘sweet little lamb’ can still kick your ass, so watch it.”_ Emily pulled her arm away from Courtney and glared at her.

 _“You’re hurting.”_ She’d posed it as a curious statement. It was almost childlike.

_“Why do you care?”_

_“Because you don’t love him. And I don’t understand why you’re so upset. You’re the one who broke up with him.”_

Emily’s blood ran cold. The noises she’d heard when she was walking with Isaac weren’t in her head. She looked at Courtney in disgust.

_“Were you following us?”_

_“It’s not what you think.”_ She’d pursed her lips and blinked slowly. _“Sometimes I go out there to sit by the stream.”_

 _“You’re not a hiker, Courtney.”_ Emily didn’t buy it.

 _“I like the water. It’s peaceful. It’s a part of me. It’s why I joined the swim team.”_ She’d rubbed her palm against her sweaty bare leg, a hint of a smile on her face. _“It’s a force. You know what I’m talking about. I know you understand it. The way it calls to you. It can be gentle and serene…or it can destroy everything in its path with its wrath. It’s something you have to learn to respect. It’s one of the few places where I know who I am. And besides the pool and the Riverwalk it’s one of the few places here where you can just…get lost.”_

She’d glanced at Emily, a sincere look in her eyes. Emily wasn’t sure she believed her. Because Courtney was good at lying. She was good at deceit.

 _“I heard you guys talking. I was curious. And when I got closer I saw you…I saw this look on your face. It’s like…it’s like you were relieved. It’s like there was this giant weight on you, like you couldn’t breathe. And even though you were sad…you were relieved. So I don’t understand why you’re so upset. I thought…”_ She looked conflicted. _“I thought you’d be happy.”_

 _“I love Isaac.”_ Emily’s voice quivered.

_“But you aren’t in love with him.”_

Emily didn’t answer. She didn’t believe she owed Courtney an answer. Courtney curled her legs up, turning her body towards Emily’s. She swiped away another stray tear, letting her hand linger against Emily’s cheek.

 _“Don’t…”_ Emily cringed, turning away, trying to pull away.

 _“You know…”_ She’d combed her fingers through Emily’s hair. _“One of the things I loved most about Hemingway was his ability to use his prose to illustrate the complications in life.”_ Her finger hooked against the back of Emily’s ear as she moved a strand of hair out of her face. _“One of the greatest things he wrote was ‘The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special, too’.”_

Emily blinked, trying to comprehend the words. They sounded familiar. She’d studied a lot of Hemingway and the quote wasn’t something that was well-known.

 _“That’s not from A Farewell to Arms.”_ She’d glanced at Courtney.

 _“It was an excerpt from one of his other works.”_ Courtney delicately trailed her fingers against Emily’s cheek. She gently pushed Emily’s face towards her, forcing her to look into her eyes. It was such a soft and subtle motion that Emily didn’t know how to react. _“You lost yourself in my brother, Emily. You lost who you are. But you’re not lost anymore. You can breathe again.”_

Courtney touched her chin, drawing her face closer. She saw Emily’s throat bob unevenly as she swallowed an invisible growing lump. She inched closer to Emily, her lips curved in perfect succinct shape, round and plump and inviting. Emily didn’t give in to her, but she didn’t resist either. She heaved sadly, her eyes fluttering closed. She felt defeated.

The blonde’s breath was like an intoxicating paralytic, leaving her completely complicit. Their lips brushed together, faintly at first. It was gentle and soft. It was different than every other encounter she’d ever had with the blonde, but it still tasted bitter. She felt Courtney’s mouth hovering against hers, eager for more.

 _“Just let go, sweetie. You don’t have to hide anymore, little lamb.”_ She stroked Emily’s hip, slowly moving her hand towards the heat of her inner thighs.

Emily had a moment of silent panic. It was poisonous. Courtney was poison. Every single one of their interactions had been laced with venom. Her kisses were dangerous, leaving traces of toxins on her lips…and in her heart. Her touches were deadly. She was a siren at sea, drawing her into an angry ocean where she would drown. So why couldn’t she just stop her? Why couldn’t she shake her loose?

 _“This isn’t healthy, Courtney.”_ Emily pulled away. _“I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but…I think you need help.”_

 _“We both know we’re beyond help.”_ Courtney’s hand slipped away from her face and down to the nape of Emily’s neck, pulling her close.

Their lips met again, this time with more conviction and force. Emily immediately protested, grunting ‘no’ against her lips. Courtney ignored her, like she always ignored her. She slid her fingers up Emily’s shorts, finding her inner thigh slippery with sweat…or perhaps something else. Courtney pushed her against the ground, their chests meeting, their bodies flush.

Emily put her palms against Courtney’s shoulders to push her away, but jerked back and sucked in a gasp when she felt Courtney’s fingers moving against her.

 _“My sweet sweet little Emily.”_ Courtney mumbled against Emily’s mouth, using her free hand to trace her knuckles gently across the brunette’s cheek.

Emily’s eyes widened when Courtney met her gaze. The demanding sultry expression in the blonde’s eyes was dark and possessive. She looked more like a wild animal getting ready to devour her prey than she looked like someone enthralled with passion.

 _“You’re mine.”_ She bit down on Emily’s lip. _“You know you are.”_

She was meticulous and strategic about her movements. Mentally, Emily wasn’t responding. Her mind was detached.

 _‘Cognitive dissonance’_ Courtney had called it.

It was wrong. Emily knew it was wrong. It _felt_ wrong. But at the same time she didn’t know how to stop her. Courtney’s actions were menacing and confusing and terrifying. It stirred so many emotions at once that Emily didn’t know how to separate them to work through them. The complexity of her feelings overwhelmed her.

Courtney did things to her. Paralyzed her. She wasn’t afraid of her, but there were times the blonde had her ensnared in her trap. It’s as though her brain was screaming at her to fight back, but her body wouldn’t listen.

Flashes of the day in the locker room flooded Emily’s mind. Courtney pinning her against the lockers and forcing her way into her shorts. Her body froze, much like it had that day. Alarm bells went off like loud gongs in her head.

She struggled against Courtney’s motions, repeatedly uttering ‘no’ under her breath. But Courtney couldn’t hear it. Or she didn’t want to hear it.

 _“This is who you are.”_ Courtney’s body moved against Emily’s in a strange gentle flowing wave. _“Don’t fight it…”_

She massaged her inner thigh with one hand and put her other palm against Emily’s stomach.

Emily tensed up. She hadn’t thought much about the pregnancy, but with a predator so close she couldn’t think of anything else. Her first instinct had been to protect her baby. Her maternal instincts kicked into overdrive.

 _“Mmm, stop…”_ Emily tried to maneuver out from underneath her before Courtney could take it any further. _“Stop it. I don’t want this. I don’t want you.”_

The blonde looked stung and stunned by her rejection. All the animation in her face slowly faded into a rigid expression. There was a dark flash in her eyes. The softness disappeared. She was a totally different person.

 _“Who says I want you?”_ Courtney angrily stabbed her thigh with her fingernails, digging into her flesh.

Emily jumped and let out a surprised hiss. Courtney leaned forward, and for a moment Emily thought she was going to try and kiss her again. Instead she just curled her lips back and gave her an eerie smile.

 _“You’re getting kind of pudgy.”_ She’d said snidely as she poked her stomach. _“This top makes you look fat.”_

Emily felt a growing discomfort, and a sense that she was trapped. That’s how Courtney always made her feel. She was constantly under the water, gasping for breath.

 _“You growing a food baby in there, chunky monkey?”_ She’d pushed her palm against Emily’s stomach, almost to the point of hurting her.

_“Stop it.”_

_“You should lay off the calories.”_ She walked her fingers across Emily’s stomach.

Before Emily could shove her hand away Courtney laughed maliciously and slapped her palm against her belly.

Emily saw a flash of red in her vision. She blacked out for half a second, but she felt her body moving without hesitation. When she blinked she was on top of Courtney. The retaliation had happened so fast that she didn’t remember the few seconds it took her to get out from underneath Courtney and slam her against the ground.

The dirt and grit was digging into her knees as she straddled Courtney, holding her down. She had Courtney’s hands pinned by her head. She could feel the cool sharp sting of where Courtney had hit her stomach.

 _“What is wrong with you?”_ Emily hissed.

Courtney grinned at her.

 _“There she is.”_ Courtney smiled, her teeth covered in blood. _“You’re just like me, aren’t you? You like danger. You’re drawn to it. You tempt fate. You jump into the water and you let it take over. You like the rush of adrenaline that comes from hitting people…and being hit. Your boxing gets you off. You ride your bike to escape the tranquility because there are no plans…no rules, knowing that all it would take is one miscalculation…one wrong turn…and the world could be over for you. You like the thrill…”_

Emily was breathing harshly. Her veins were pumping, adrenaline flowing, leaving her completely on edge.

_“Why are you always doing this to me? What do you want from me?”_

_“I want you to own what you are. Embrace the danger. Embrace the monster…”_

_“I’m not a fucking monster!”_

But then she’d looked down and saw the blonde underneath her…laughing darkly. She saw the blood on Courtney’s mouth. Her fist was raised above her head. Courtney wasn’t trying to stop her. Instead, she was eagerly waiting…enticing her to embrace the wild untapped beast inside. She realized that she’d been letting Courtney control her…mold her.

She lowered her fist and moved away from Courtney. This wasn’t her. She knew it wasn’t. It’s what Courtney was making her into. She’d looked down at Courtney, who hadn’t moved. She was laughing maliciously. Spittle had gathered at the corners of her lips, mixing with the blood on her teeth, creating a frothy pink foam.

She’d stood up and stared down at the girl. She looked so tiny on the ground beneath her. Something inside of the brunette shifted as she stared at the monster who had been hiding in her closet, tormenting her. There had always been a chain linking her to the blonde, weighing her down. She’d never quite understood it. But things were changing. And Emily had enough sense to know how to break the chains.

She had left Courtney there, just like she’d left Isaac in the woods. She had walked away from the person she’d been pretending to be. It was a piece of herself she’d given permission to let go. She’d walked into the light, and into her true self.

* * *

The trouble with the past was that it was never truly the past. It would always be a part of her. She remembered that the second Isaac had showed up at her door.

The sound of the whistling tea kettle drew her back into reality. She reached up to turn the stove off.

“Em?” Isaac’s voice came floating through the air.

He sounded like the Isaac she knew back in Texas and not the angry ball of fire who had been standing in her living room five minutes ago.

“In here.” Emily grabbed the kettle and poured steaming hot water over the tea bag.

Isaac appeared in the doorway, stopping to observe the kitchen. His eyes drifted towards Emily’s stomach. He blinked several times, like if he concentrated hard enough her belly might deflate. Her baby bump was small. It was something that could be hidden by the right clothes. He had just happened to catch her in her tank top, where it was glaringly obvious.

He silently moved towards her. Emily poured more hot water into another cup. She put the cups down on saucers. She slid one of the saucers over to Isaac. He leaned against the counter and stared at the drink. He played with the string on the tea bag.

“Your mom’s recipe?” he guessed.

“One of them.” Emily nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“I think lettuce came out of my nose. And I haven’t eaten any lettuce that I remember,” he said it so quizzically and so matter-of-factly that Emily wasn’t sure if she should laugh or not.

“So…you still get pukey when you’re upset?”

“I was already nervous about seeing you. I wasn’t expecting…” He trailed off. He looked down at her baby bump again in disbelief.

He started playing with the string on the tea bag again. He carefully picked the cup up and held it up to his face. He stared at the steaming hot liquid inside the cup. The rising tendrils of smoke created a semi-opaque shield in front of his face, fogging his features.

“It needs some time to cool,” Emily suggested.

Isaac didn’t respond. It made her nervous. But then he slowly lowered his cup and put it against the saucer. His gaze was still fixed on the hot beverage. He glanced at Emily’s cup, which was against the edge of the counter near the top of her stomach.

He tapped his fingers against the edge of the counter. His face was a perfect mask of stoicism. He reached towards her cup.

The motion stirred something in Emily. She started having flashes to all the times she’d been tortured by the person hiding in the shadows. It was instinct more than anything.

Logically, she knew the stalker wasn’t Isaac. But emotionally, she was a mess. Her fear of what he might do with the boiling hot water pushed her to overreact.

She saw him moving his hand towards her cup and she slammed his wrist down against the counter, jostling everything on it. Isaac jerked his hand back and stared at her in surprise.

“Jesus, Emily. What the hell?” He rubbed his wrist. “I was just going to move your cup back. It’s too close to the edge. I didn’t want it to spill on you…”

“I…” Emily uttered nervously. All the bullying was starting to get to her. She felt like everyone was out to get her. It hadn’t bothered her at first. But now all she could think about was her baby. She wanted to make sure she made it into the world safely. “I’m sorry. Things have been a little tense around here. I don’t know who to trust. I thought…”

“You thought _what_? That I would hurt you? Hurt my own _kid_?” He looked hurt. “What the hell has happened to you? You’re not the same girl that I remember.”

For some reason, his response pissed her off. Of course she wasn’t the same girl. She’d never been herself with Isaac, at least not entirely. Their friendship had been real. All the inside jokes they shared. All the late night talks. All the smiles and laughs. She didn’t regret any of that. But she’d hidden a huge piece of who she truly was. And she’d kept the truth about the baby from him.

He had every right to be upset, but it didn’t give him the right to show up out of the blue without calling, on _Valentine’s Day_.

“Why did you come here, Isaac?” Emily asked. “It’s really shitty…showing up like this when you know I’m dating someone.”

He laughed, a dark look on his face.

“It’s really shitty that you lied…about _everything_.” He countered.

She couldn’t argue with him.

“We were distant…”

“And whose fault was that?” Isaac sneered.

She still wasn’t used to seeing his temper. He was angry. _Really_ angry. She’d never seen him angry. He’d always been so sweet and sensitive. But of course he was mad. He had a right to be mad. Emily let him feel his anger. He had a right to be pissed. She’d lied to him about so much.

“I’ll let you have that one.” Emily replied coolly. “But don’t push it.”

“What do you want me to say? I just found out that I’m about to be a father.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It’s a lot to take in. I don’t know how to do this.”

“I’m not asking you to do anything,” she replied gently.

“You should have. That’s the point. I had a right to know.” He clenched his jaw and started grinding his teeth. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I don’t…” She nervously ran her fingers through her hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing, okay?”

She groaned in frustration and moved away from the counter. The room was starting to feel small.

She knew she was going to have to face Isaac sooner or later. She just thought she’d be more prepared when she talked to him. But how did you prepare yourself to explain something like this?

She walked into the adjoining living room. He followed, both cups of tea in his hands. He put the drinks down on the table. She plopped down on the couch, feeling like a beached whale. She buried her face into her hands and rubbed it, her fingertips tangling into her hair.

She felt the couch move and when she looked up Isaac was sitting next to her. He didn’t look angry anymore. He just looked worried.

“Em, just tell me what’s going on.”

It seemed like such a simple request. It should have had a simple answer, but she couldn’t tell him everything. She couldn’t tell him about her stalker. She couldn’t put him at risk. She had almost lost Alison _and_ Maya. She couldn’t put him in danger. Maybe it was selfish to continue lying to him, but it’s the only way she knew how to protect him.

“I wish I knew.” Emily’s chin quivered, her lip trembling. She slowly looked up at him. “I act like I have my shit together, but the truth is…I don’t know. I’m…” She chewed on her lip. She hated that the pregnancy had her emotions all over the place. She was feeling things she’d never felt before. “Things are changing so fast. I mean, there are only a few months of high school left. I’m moving out of my house. I have a job. And I _feel_ like I should be an adult. But…I…” She put her hand on her stomach. “I know I’m pregnant and I’m supposed to be the grown up here, but sometimes I feel like I’m still this stupid kid with no clue.”

“You’re not stupid,” Isaac said. He pushed his shoes against the carpet, “It’s definitely…overwhelming.”

Emily turned away from him. She could feel a crushing weight in her chest. Her eyes started to flood with tears. Seconds later she felt the slow release of pressure as tears leaked over her lower lids.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He saw her eyes glistening. “I’m sorry I acted like an asshole.”

Emily cleared her throat, trying to get a handle on her emotions. She hated to cry. She hated that she cried more now because of her hormones.

“I would have done the same thing,” she admitted.

“You probably would have punched me.” Isaac laughed.

“Probably.” Emily nodded.

“You always were more in shape than I am.” He chuckled. “You still working out…even with the baby on board?” His forehead crinkled in concern.

“It’s one of the only things that keeps me from completely losing my mind.” Emily sighed, leaning back against the couch.

“Is that safe?” He pressed his lips together. A worried expression washed across his face.

“The way I practice my drills, yes.” Emily rubbed her stomach. “I would never put this baby in danger.”

“How far along are you?” He marveled at the sight of her stomach again. It still didn’t register that there was a little human inside of her.

“Almost six and a half months.”

His brow shot up. He’d already done the math in his head, but hearing her say it was an entirely different thing.

“Wow. You’re barely showing.”

“I hide things well.” Emily looked away from him. “We’ve established that.”

“No shit. This is wild.” He stared at her stomach. “Even when I had someone telling me, I still couldn’t believe it…”

Emily perked up. She didn’t like the way he’d worded it.

“Someone telling you _what_?”

That made it sound like…

Did he know? If he knew, then why the grand show of emotions?

“I mean, I didn’t actually believe it…”

Emily felt the blood drain from her face. Her fingers felt cold. She suddenly found herself wishing she’d let Alison stay. What if Alison had been right? What if it was dangerous to be left alone with him? What if Isaac was the one who had been after her all along?

But then she looked at the sad perplexed expression on his face, and she realized he hadn’t come there to hurt her.

“How did you…who told you? When?”

“It’s a long story.” He started bouncing his knee nervously. “Courtney said you were hiding something from me…”

“Courtney…” Bile crept up the back of Emily’s throat, burning her esophagus. “Courtney knows?”

“I thought she was making it up to mess with me. I thought she was full of shit.”

Emily could see why he thought that. Courtney had spent her whole life messing with him.

“How did she…” Emily’s tongue felt swollen. She fumbled over her words. Courtney knew about the baby. “When did she…”

“She says she found out at Christmas, but she sat on the information until this week. Last month Nick surprised us with plane tickets for Valentine’s Day weekend.” He paused and then reworded it, “Well…he surprised Courtney with them. Normally our parents would have vetoed a weekend visit because it screws with our school schedule. But Nick had already gotten the tickets. My parents didn’t want Courtney and Nick alone all weekend, so they sent me as a chaperone.”

“Hell of a job chaperoning,” she muttered. “Where are they?”

“Visiting Nick’s friends upstate. My parents make her Facetime them like every 20 minutes.”

 _How is the reception in hell?_ Emily wondered to herself. It made her feel sick to her stomach that Courtney was so close to her.

“On the plane Courtney tried to negotiate with me. She said she’d tell me what you were hiding if I left her and Nick alone all weekend. I figured that with the check-in calls she has to do with my parents it wouldn’t be such a big deal. So I caved and she told me everything…”

Of fucking course Courtney had told him on Valentine’s Day weekend.

“I called her a bitch and accused her of lying.”

The fact that Isaac had wanted to believe the best in her made Emily’s heart ache a little. And the fact that Courtney had pushed Isaac into coming to see her and finding out the truth made her blood boil.

“How did she know?”

“Apparently before we came to New York for New Years she went to find our itinerary for the flight and found a bank statement in dad’s office…” His face went rigid again. She could see him trying to hold back his anger. “With a check to _you_. She set up a trap for my mom and dad with the statement, leaving it out in the open. She heard them arguing about it, and they kept talking about abortion and adoption. She put it together.”

“Oh,” Emily said quietly as she lowered her head.

“So…my entire family knows…” Isaac looked at her, not saying anything, letting his eyes do the accusation for him. “How is it that I was the _last_ to find out? Why didn’t you come to me?”

“Your mom found out. I don’t know how. But your parents are intimidating. They told me they didn’t want me around…that I was just a disruption and that you were better off without me…”

“You know better than that.” Isaac frowned. “You know how much I love you.”

Emily didn’t miss the present tense. Isaac still wasn’t over her.

“It wasn’t about me. It was different. Because of the baby. Because I know how much people have to give up when they become parents. I know the sacrifices that it entails.”

“And you didn’t think I’d make those sacrifices?” He sounded hurt.

“No. I _knew_ you would,” she replied sadly. “Which is exactly why when your parents tried to ban me from your life I fought them on it. I wanted to tell you. I really did. But the more they talked about your future…” She sighed. “I don’t know. And then your father offered me the money. I resisted at first. But then I started thinking about what it could mean for the baby…and I started to wonder if maybe your parents were right.”

“My parents don’t speak for me. Screw them…and the fact that you went along with it? I mean…how much did they pay you?”

“It wasn’t about the money.”

“But you took it, didn’t you?” His response had some bite in it. “You took it and you walked out of my life, and you took my choice away with it. You kept this baby a secret from me. You made me miss out on one of the most important things that has ever happened in my life.”

“It was never about you,” Emily said softly. She hated that she’d hurt him. “It wasn’t about me either. It was about the baby…” She saw him look away, trying to shield his emotions from her. “I never meant to hurt you.” Emily licked her lips.

Isaac reached for his tea. He picked it up and blew against the rim of the cup before lifting it up to his lips and taking a sip. He sighed and then put the drink down.

“All this time I thought I knew who you were…” He shook his head in disbelief. He furrowed his brow. “You didn’t have to go through this alone, you know.”

“I wasn’t alone.” Emily admitted. She was trying to figure out how to segue into the fact that she had a loving girlfriend who doted on her and the baby on a daily basis.

“Have your parents been supportive?” he asked.

“Mostly. To an extent.” She paused and frowned. “Not at first. We talked a lot about me branching out on my own.”

“That’s not right. You’re going to need help.”

“They will. They want to help…”

“I…I want to be there for you, for…” He looked at her pregnant belly. “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Emily smiled.

“It’s a girl.”

Isaac’s face melted into a soft expression. A girl. Emily was having a baby girl. She was sure to be as beautiful as her mother. He knew that for a fact.

“I want to be there for _her_ ,” he said with a dopey grin. “If…if you keep her…I want to help. If you want me to. I mean…” He stuttered nervously. “I want to be involved, that’s what I’m trying to say. Let me help.”

“There is no way your parents are going to support that. They wanted us gone.”

“Fuck my parents.” Isaac growled. “They don’t get a say in what happens to _our_ baby.”

Emily felt a disconnect at the word ‘our’. Despite the fact that Isaac was the father, she’d always looked at the ‘our’ as her and Alison.

“You can’t tell your parents you know.” An overwhelming sense of fear shot through her. “I don’t know what they would do…”

“I won’t _let_ them do anything. They don’t get to tell us what to do…”

“Isaac, _please_.” She remembered the look on his father’s face the day they’d pushed her out of Isaac’s life. “Just don’t. She’s my first priority right now.” Emily swept her hand across her stomach. She felt a little thump against her hand. “I can’t deal with that added stress.”

Isaac’s mouth dropped open into a thoughtful ‘o’.

“You’re really _that_ afraid of them?”

Emily wished she could tell him the _full_ story. The menacing look they’d had on their faces still haunted her.

She swallowed a knot in her throat and nodded.

“Okay.” He lifted his hands in submission. “I won’t say anything to them.”

“Thank you.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Are…are you going to keep her?” he asked.

“I…” She wavered.

She wanted to. She wanted to hold her baby, rock her to sleep every night. She wanted to kiss her forehead and inhale the sweet smell of her head. But she also knew that it was going to be a struggle. She worried about how she was going to support her. She worried about making sure she was in a stable environment.

She’d told Alison that she was pretty set on keeping her, but she hadn’t told her about her doubts. She wasn’t sure that the blonde would understand. She wasn’t sure _anyone_ would understand. She felt like a shitty person _and_ a shitty mother for even considering giving her up.

When she’d opened the necklace that Alison had gotten her for Valentine’s Day it had sparked something in her heart that she didn’t know how to explain. She would always be a mother. The question was whether or not she would be the kind of mother that her daughter deserved…that she _needed_.

“I think so. I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

He seemed a little dissatisfied with her answer.

“So, you’ve looked into adoption?”

“A little bit.” But every time she did she felt like a piece of her heart was fracturing.

“How does it work? Can the birth parents still be involved?”

“I’m going to need you to slow down.” The room was starting to spin in Emily’s field of vision.

She knew that he was going to ask questions, but she wasn’t ready for any of them.

“Sorry. I’m trying to wrap my head around this.” He huffed out a sigh. “Is she healthy?”

“Very.” Emily smiled. “She kicks all the time.”

“She does?” His face lit up. His eyes darted to her stomach “Can I…” He held his hand out.

“I…” She wanted to tell him no. She wanted those kinds of touches reserved for the people she loved. But she’d already deprived him of so much. “Okay.”

He carefully reached his palm out, like he was afraid he might hurt the baby if he didn’t go slowly. She cringed when his large warm calloused palm made contact with her baby bump. It wasn’t Alison. It didn’t feel right. She tried not to squirm in discomfort.

They waited for a few seconds. The baby didn’t respond to him at all. Nothing. Emily didn’t even feel a flutter. It was a glaring juxtaposition to the way the baby came to life when Alison was touching her and talking to her.

Isaac pulled back, slightly disappointed.

“Maybe she’s sleeping.” Emily tried to make him feel better, though she knew it wasn’t the case, because her spirited little girl had _just_ nudged her hand minutes before Isaac touched her.

Isaac nodded absentmindedly. He glanced at her.

“It’s weird.”

“What? The pregnancy?”

“No. Just…the fact that I don’t know you like I thought I knew you. You seem…” He searched her face, like it was going to give him answers. “Different.”

“I have a human inside of me,” she reminded him.

“That’s not it.” He shook his head. “Something about you just feels…lighter. I can’t quite put my finger on it. You know, in all of our time together you always had this…veil…like you were guarding yourself from something. I always thought that you were afraid of getting hurt. I don’t see that wall anymore. Why?”

“A lot has changed…with me.” Her heart started hammering against her ribcage. She was getting ready to jump from one secret to another.

She had always told herself that if she saw Isaac again she would tell him the truth. She’d made excuses for not telling him over the phone. She’d made excuses as to why he _still_ didn’t know she was gay. But she didn’t have any excuses left.

“Did Amish country make a purist out of you?” He smiled half-heartedly.

“I’ve actually run into very few Amish people, if I’m being perfectly honest.” She smiled back.

“But you do like it here?” he asked.

“I do. I’ve met some amazing people since I moved here.”

“Like that blonde that was here?” he asked. He frowned. “She was kind of annoying. Like a vicious little bitey dog.”

“Don’t mistake her size for weakness. She absolutely would have shredded you to pieces if I’d let her.” Emily scowled. “And don’t call her annoying.”

“Sorry. It’s nice that you have good friends.”

“Well…” Emily trailed off.

He cocked his head, seemingly picking up on the hint.

“Come to think of it, she was really…possessive. Who exactly was she?”

“She’s…”

Emily curled her fingers into the edge of the sofa. She’d been telling herself that she was going to tell Isaac about her sexuality for months. But now that he was sitting in front of her, staring at her with his soft puppy dog eyes she felt terrible for all the things she’d done to him. She felt terrible for leading him on. But she knew she couldn’t lie to him forever.

“She’s my girlfriend.”

There was a moment of shocked silence.

“Your… _what_?”

“My girlfriend. I…” Emily exhaled a shaky breath and then faced him, her eyes locked on his, “I’m gay, Isaac.”

“You…” His face morphed into a confused expression. “I…” He stuttered. “ _Gay_? You…you’re…”

Emily nodded.

“But…I don’t understand. We…” He looked at her baby bump. He was having trouble processing it. “You and I…” He huffed. “Jesus, was I so bad I turned you gay?”

“No.” Emily frowned at him, offended. “I didn’t _turn_ anything. I’ve always felt this way…about girls. Before you…there were never any boys. Only girls. Maya wasn’t just my friend. She was my _girlfriend_.”

Another period of shocked silence.

“You…and Maya?”

“Yeah.”

“Holy shit.” He reached up and rubbed his chin as he tried to process it. “You two were…”

“Yes.”

“And…you’ve always been into girls?”

“I have.”

“But…we…we were together. We…we dated. We had _sex_. We’re having a baby. I don’t…”

Emily started to wonder if maybe she’d hit him with too much information in one visit. But she didn’t want to hide it anymore.

“Is this like…” He fidgeted with his class ring. He tilted his head and furrowed his brow. “You’re sure this isn’t like…a phase?”

She cringed. She hated when people asked that. She knew who she was, and she hated when other people tried to put their own spin on it. But she knew that Isaac wasn’t saying it to be malicious. He just didn’t understand.

“I’m sure. I’ve always known.”

He quietly processed the new information. A flood of emotions washed across his face, all in the span of a minute. Confusion. Sadness. Heartbreak.

“If you always knew then why did you want to be with me?”

Emily rubbed her face. She’d been dreading the question. She knew the answer was only going to hurt him.

Isaac noticed her hesitation.

“Emily, what was I to you?”

“You were safe,” she said meekly.

“What does that even mean?”

“You’ve met my parents. Mr. and Mrs. Perfect Churchgoing Military. I was afraid of them. I was afraid of telling them, so…I thought…”

“You thought you’d find yourself a beard.” The realization hit him. He nodded and smacked his lips together.

“It…it didn’t start out like that. I promise. When I met you I _really_ liked you. I liked hanging out with you. I liked talking to you. I liked _you_. I wanted to feel something. I really did. You were my best friend…”

“ _Were_ , huh?”

“I mean…I don’t know…” She uttered in frustration. “None of this is coming out right…”

“God, I was so blind.” He shook his head. “I just…I loved you so much. I wanted to believe you felt the same.”

“I know. I wanted to give you that. But I couldn’t.”

Isaac rubbed his fingers against the couch cushion. He peered sadly at Emily.

“So why wasn’t I enough? What did I do that was so wrong?”

“It wasn’t anything you did.” Emily looked at him. “It’s just the way it is. I can’t make myself feel something that’s not there.”

Isaac nodded absentmindedly. He reached up and ran his fingers against his faded waves, leaving his hand against his scalp for a few seconds. He lowered his eyes and glanced at the ground in thought. Then he finally looked back at Emily.

“Did you ever love me?” Isaac asked.

She didn’t even have to think about her response. She’d always known exactly who Isaac was to her.

“Of course I loved you.” Emily’s face softened. “Just not in the right way.”

Isaac nodded, unsure of how to respond.

“Your girlfriend…her name was…Alison, right?”

“Yeah.” Emily smiled. It crushed Isaac to see her smile. Because now he knew that he’d never been enough.

“Does she treat you right?” Isaac questioned, a serious look on his face. “And…and the baby?”

It mirrored Maya’s sentiments. She’d been fortunate enough in her young life to have found three people who truly loved her.

“She is so ridiculously caring. She loves me and the baby so much.” Emily rubbed her palm against her stomach in a small circular motion. Just the thought of Alison seemed to stir her little one to life.

“Good.” He tried to hide his pain. He rubbed his palm against his pants. “That’s good.” He chewed on his lip and then slowly looked up at her. “You really love her?”

“I really do.” She didn’t skip a beat.

“And…Maya…you were in love with her, too?”

“I was.”

He let out a heavy sigh.

“I can’t believe I was so blind. I feel like an idiot…”

“I went out of my way to hide it.” Emily tried to make him feel better.

“Did anyone else know?”

Emily paused thoughtfully. She weighed whether or not she wanted to tell him. He was already reeling.

“I know that look.” Isaac scrutinized her. “You may have changed, but not _that_ much. Who else knew?”

“Your sister.”

“Are you serious?” He gawked.

“She…” She started to tell him that Courtney had come on to her numerous times. But she wasn’t sure what Courtney’s sexuality was, and regardless of the fact that she was a psychopath, she couldn’t willingly out someone. She knew how it felt to be pushed out before being ready. “She held it over my head a lot. Tormented me…”

“Em, I’m so sorry…” He reached out and touched her hand.

A flash of anger crossed his face. His sister was going to catch hell from him. It wasn’t very often that Isaac went head to head with Courtney, but when it came to Emily he would do anything to protect her.

“How long was this going on? Did it start when we were dating?”

“Before that.”

“All that time…” He shook his head. “I always knew Courtney could be ruthless, but I had no idea…”

“I wasn’t completely helpless. It’s not like I let her run all over me. You remember the day that Courtney wound up in the hospital after she passed out in the locker room?”

He narrowed his eyes in uncertainty. He carefully studied the look on her face.

“Yeah…”

“We were…” Emily had to stop herself from telling the entire truth. As vile as Courtney was…as awful as she’d been to her…she couldn’t out her. It wasn’t her story to share. “What Nick said…about us fighting…it’s true. We got into it. She was…saying some things. And doing things…” Emily cringed. “She tried to hurt me…”

Courtney had flat out assaulted her, but she couldn’t tell her _brother_ that, not without divulging the details. Even if Isaac wasn’t related to Courtney, Emily wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to share anything that personal with him. The fact that she was able to tell Alison these things…things she could never share with Isaac…it was polarizing.

“Fuck.” He lowered his head, almost like he was ashamed. “I’m sorry.” She hated that he was apologizing for his sister. It wasn’t his fault. “What did she do to you?”

Just the fact that he knew Courtney started it was one of the reasons she loved him.

“It’s not important. And I want you to know I never intended to hurt her. She was conscious when I left her. I didn’t even hit her or anything. I just pushed her away from me.”

“I remember that day. Your wrist was bruised. She did that to you?”

Emily nodded. Courtney had done more than bruise her wrist that day.

Isaac put his hand on top of Emily’s. Her reflex was to yank her hand away, but instead she just cleared her throat and gently broke their touch by reaching for her tea. Isaac mirrored her actions, reaching for his own drink.

“Courtney was so weird after that. She spent like two weeks holed up in her room avoiding our parents.”

Emily wasn’t surprised. It was the first time that she’d met Courtney’s punches, blow for blow. Not physically, but emotionally. Emily had verbally attacked her. Emily had noticed a change in Courtney’s behavior after that, too.

“No one can hold a grudge like that girl.” He uttered.

“You’re telling me.” Emily laughed darkly. She thought about the menacing texts. Even though it sounded and felt like Courtney, Emily still couldn’t piece everything together. “How often has Courtney been to New York?”

“What?” He glanced at her, caught off-guard.

“You guys were here New Years, too, right? Has she come up any other weekends or anything?” Emily was trying to mentally put together a timeline of events in her mind, wondering if any of Courtney’s visits overlapped with some of the attacks.

“It’s not like she can just hop in a car and drive up any time she wants.”

“A few weeks ago you said that she was playing your parents to get everything she wants.”

Was it possible she had been blackmailing her parents the entire time? Would they have caved and let her fly out to the east coast? Was it crazy to think it was a possibility?

“Yeah, but taking a jet at her leisure? I don’t know. I mean...” He pushed his lips out in thought. “I guess I really don’t know what’s going on at my house. I don’t know what’s going on _anywhere_ obviously...” He gestured to Emily’s stomach. “I haven’t been home a lot, to be honest. I’ve had some away games, but I also stay with my boys, because then I don’t have to be around my family.”

At least he had an escape. Emily was thankful for that.

“She has missed a few days of school here and there, but nothing crazy. I don’t know what she does on the weekends, but I can’t imagine that my folks are letting her jetset the world.”

“Was she home on Halloween?” Emily shuddered thinking about the nightmare she’d had in the hospital.

Courtney had kissed her...touched her. She had _felt_ it.

“She was at some sorority school shopping thing with some girlfriends, checking out the the colleges with the best _amenities_.” Amenities being which place had the craziest parties and the best booze.

“You’re sure?”

“I don’t know. I don’t exactly have a tracker on her.” He looked perplexed. “What’s this about?”

Emily quietly retreated in her questioning. If she kept pushing him she’d have to tell him everything.

“It’s nothing.” Emily tried to shut it down.

“You mentioned something about this to me before. You said you thought you saw her or something?” He started to piece it together. “You really think she’s been out here?”

“I was just curious. That’s all.”

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation. They both jumped. Emily stood up and went to answer it, expecting it to be Alison standing there. But it was just the delivery girl with the food Alison had ordered. Emily thanked her and gave her a tip before sending her on her way.

When she turned around she saw Isaac twisted around and looking at her over the back of the couch.

“She was cute. Maybe we should have invited her in,” he said. Emily made a face at him. “What? Too soon for jokes?”

“No. Just surprised that you’re in a joking mood.”

“You forget I live in a household full of chaos and bitchiness. If I hadn’t developed survival skills I would have offed myself a long time ago.”

“So…you’re calling me a chaotic bitch?” Emily walked back over to the sofa, food in hand.

“I didn’t say that…”

“No, it’s fine. I deserve it.” Emily didn’t argue.

There was a moment of silence.

“This wasn’t exactly what I was expecting when I came here. But I guess this could have gone worse.”

“In what way?” Emily scoffed as she put the food on the end table next to the couch.

“An axe murderer could have jumped out of the closet and killed us?” Isaac shrugged.

Emily had to force out a laugh. The way things had been going in Rosewood, that was entirely plausible.

“At least you’re healthy and happy.” He sighed. “I really interrupted something here with you and that Ali girl, didn’t I?”

 _Alison._ Emily wanted to correct him. She wanted to tell him that only people in Alison’s inner circle could call her Ali. But she let it slide.

“It _is_ Valentine’s Day.” Emily replied.

“How do girls even…I mean… _you know_? How does that even work? I’ve always been curious and porn doesn’t exactly answer all the questions.”

“I am _not_ having that conversation with you.” Emily burst into laughter.

“Before we get in over our heads here, do you have _anything_ else you need to tell me? Any other skeletons I need to know about? Are you secretly married to a Nigerian Princess? You launder money? Sell drugs?”

“There is one thing…”

But she stopped herself. She _wanted_ to tell him about the threats. It’s why she’d brought Courtney up. Maybe he’d have an idea of what to do. But then she thought about the price that Maya and Alison had paid.

He was leaning towards her in anticipation.

“I’m obsessed with dill pickle chips now.” She spit out the first thing that came to mind. It just happened to be one of her most ridiculous cravings. “Don’t judge me.”

“As long as you promise not to judge me for liking ketchup chips. I have a friend from Canada who introduced them to me. They are _insane_. They sound really gross, but they’re actually dope.”

“I’m trying very hard not to judge that. But…I mean… _ketchup chips_ , Isaac? _Really_?”

She was glad they had a bit of an ice-breaker. It had been non-stop tension since he’d arrived. She was starting to relax into their banter a little bit.

“You do realize that potatoes are the base for potato chips…and we put ketchup on fries…which are also potatoes?” He defended his gross chips.

“I wouldn’t put ketchup in vodka or in potato salad.” Emily pointed out.

“You know what might be really good to try? The pickle chips _and_ the ketchup chips…together.”

“Now you’re just trying to make me barf.” Emily made a face. “Let’s just add a beef flavored chip and make it a burger potato chip.”

“Million dollar idea.” Isaac nodded. “Is that what’s in the bag? A prototype for a new potato chip?”

“It’s Thai. Alison and I were going to have dinner.”

“Right.” He looked uncomfortable again. He put his hands against his knees and blew out a breath. “So, uhm…what are we going to do about her?”

“She’s my girlfriend, so…”

“Not her.” He shot her a crooked smile. It slowly faded and a sad look washed across his face. He peered at her belly. “I meant about… _her_. The baby.”

“Oh. I don’t know.”

“When is she due?”

“Late May. Early June. Due dates aren’t set in stone. They come when they come.”

“I could see if I could skip graduation. Maybe have them mail me my diploma. I could come up and help…”

“That’s not really…” Emily shook her head. “I don’t want to start planning anything like that just yet.”

Her choice of words registered. He picked up on the subtext.

“You don’t want to plan anything…or you don’t want to plan anything _with me_?” He slowly lifted his brow in curiosity.

She didn’t know how to answer without hurting his feelings. Her silence spoke volumes.

“I see.” He pursed his lips and looked at her in confusion. “I don’t get it. What is it that you’re so afraid of? I’m here. I’m offering to be here. For both of you.”

“I know. But it’s complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be. We…” He splayed his fingers out against his thigh and looked down, “…we could still be something. We could still be a family. I mean, I don’t know exactly how, but what we had…I mean…even before we starting going out…what we had was special. And now we’re just…” He frowned. “I don’t know. I hate that we’re like this. I hate that we can’t just be Emily and Isaac.” He sighed. “You were my best friend. What happened to us?”

Emily looked away. She had done so much to hurt him. She didn’t know how to fix it. She scratched the arm of the sofa with her fingernails. They were dull from working out so much.

“I screwed everything up. You deserved better than me. You deserved real love.”

“I thought I had it,” he replied sadly. He lifted his head to meet her gaze. He couldn’t help but still look at her like she was the love of his life. “I love you. Because you’re the most wonderful, unique, and beautiful person I’ve ever met. I think we had something amazing. I know our relationship isn’t contemporary, but I do love you.”

As he’d been speaking he’d been moving closer to Emily. He was drawn to her. She was like a bright light in a dark world.

“Isaac…” Her tone came out as a warning, but before she could finish her thought he stopped her.

He reached up to push a strand of hair out of her face. His fingers grazed her cheek. He peered at her, moving forward. Seconds later his lips were against hers.

The kiss only lasted for a brief second. Emily recoiled. She reached up and pushed her hands against his shoulders, moving him away from her. She lifted her hand to slap him, but pulled back at the last second. It was _Isaac_. She couldn’t hit him.

“Why did you do that?” Emily glared angrily at him.

She wanted to be furious with him, but she knew what he was going through. She knew that he was struggling to come to terms with everything, and she knew that seeing her had probably stirred a lot of unresolved feelings to the surface. But she was still pissed that he’d tried to make a move on her when she flat out told him ‘no’ and that she was in a relationship with Alison. That was more Courtney’s style. Not Isaac’s.

“I’m sorry.” He had a remorseful look on his face. “I just…I thought…maybe…”

“You thought that maybe I’d suddenly change my mind?” She jerked away furiously. “I told you…I’m with someone I love…”

“We’re going to have a baby…”

“That doesn’t change anything.” Emily shook her head, tears in her eyes. Because she was so torn. He had been her best friend. They had shared things. But she’d never loved him. She loved Alison. Her heart belonged to the blonde. “I’m in love with Alison. There is no _we_ for us, Isaac.”

There really never was. And Emily felt guilty about that.

“Can you blame me for trying?” He slowly lifted his eyes to meet hers. “I mean, God, Em…you’re fucking perfect.”

“I wish people would stop saying that. I’m not perfect. I’m just as screwed up as the rest of the world. I lied to you. About _everything_.”

“You did.” He nodded in agreement. “But you’re worth more than the sum of your mistakes. We all are. I screwed up, too. I should have known something was off. I should have known you were uncomfortable. I should have known that Courtney was torturing you. There is a lot I turned a blind eye to because I just wanted to be with you. And I wanted it to be perfect. That’s why I came here. I thought we could salvage this. But um…it’s clear you don’t really want that. You don’t…”

He paused, his jaw rigid. His nose twitched. He was trying not to cry. Emily had only seen him cry once. When they broke up.

“You don’t even want me to be her dad, do you?”

“That’s not…” Emily was thrown by the question. She was surprised by his perception of the situation. “I didn’t say that…”

He lowered his chin and shook his head.

“Please don’t lie to me anymore. I just want the truth from here on out. No matter what. You owe me that much.” Isaac reached for her hand.

Emily knew it was selfish to keep him from his child. She knew she should want him involved. But she was afraid of the complications. And more importantly…she was afraid of his family’s influence. She was afraid of her baby being around that. She wanted to protect her little girl from Courtney and their parents. But how was that fair to Isaac?

“You’re right,” she said. “I...I’ve planned other things for her...”

Isaac closed his eyes and exhaled a breath. He knew it, but it still hurt.

“I know you cut me out for a reason. And I’m…well, I’m not really okay with it.” He chewed on his lip. “But I understand. It wasn’t just me. It’s my parents. And my sister. And you. You’ve got a lot going on. So I understand where your head is at, Em. I always have. I _get_ you. Don’t forget how close we used to be. I just…I want you to be comfortable. And safe. And I want you to do what’s best for you. And for the baby. I’ll respect that…whatever it is. Because I trust you. And I love you. I always will. I just want you to be happy. But I want you to know that if you do want to keep her I will be whatever you want me to be to her. I will give her whatever she needs. If you want me to. I’m not exactly prepared for this, but I want to do the right thing.”

His “I’m not prepared” hit her particularly hard. Because she wasn’t exactly ready either. It was noble that he wanted to “do the right thing” but the question was whether he was doing it out of obligation or if he actually _wanted_ to do it. She already had a woman she loved who not only _wanted_ to be there, but had insisted so from the start. Alison didn’t just want the baby because it was the right thing. She wanted her because she loved her.

Emily glanced at Isaac, and she realized that she was sitting too close to him. And she didn’t like it. She stood up and paced the floor. Isaac watched her curiously. His instinct was to get up and comfort her, but he didn’t want to cross the line again.

After a few seconds she took a seat in her father’s recliner. She needed the distance between them. She was able to relax after she put some space between them.

They calmly talked about everything that was hanging over them. Isaac was more patient and more understanding than she deserved.

They talked for nearly half an hour before they were interrupted by a phone buzzing. Emily automatically reached for her phone, thinking it was Alison checking in. But it ended up being Isaac’s phone.

He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen and sighed.

“That’s Nick. I really need to get going.”

“Does he know?” Emily questioned.

If she didn’t start looking at everyone in her life as a potential stalker she was afraid she was going to let something slip through the cracks. Nick was close enough to Rosewood, but he was so busy at school that she doubted he’d have time to torture her. And he didn’t have a reason to either.

“Courtney swears she hasn’t told anyone. I think she wanted to keep it to herself for some reason.”

Emily knew that reason. Because Courtney was possessive. And crazy.

“I’ll see what I can find out. Bros talk, too.” Isaac shuffled to his feet.

She stood next to him.

“I am so sorry about all of this. And I’m sorry to drop all of it on you.”

“I’m sorry I came in here thinking with my dick instead of my brain. It was an asshole move to ruin your Valentine’s Day.”

“I guess we’re both assholes.”

“Lucky kid we’re going to have.” He uttered sarcastically. He looked at her belly for a good solid ten seconds. Then he looked up at her again. “Call me when you figure out what you want.”

He grasped her hand. She gently pulled away, and he pulled back, like he’d suddenly remembered they weren’t in Texas anymore. He looked at her apologetically. It was a reflex. Nothing more.

“I’ll respect your choice. I just…I want to know,” he said.

Emily nodded. It was the least she could do.

Isaac peered into her eyes with a sad look on his face.

“You broke my heart, Emily Fields.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He glanced at her stomach. “If she’s half as amazing as her mother it will have been worth it.”

If anyone else had said it Emily would have thought it was some cheap line. But it was Isaac saying it. And she looked at him and she knew he meant it.

He gave her a sad watery smile. It was a smile that told her just how much he’d really loved her.

“For what it’s worth…” He paused. “I think you’re going to be a great mother.”

He reached for the door knob. He paused before opening the door, peering over his shoulder. He seemed to understand where they stood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in agony over it. He gave her a sad smile before waving goodbye.

Seconds later she was alone. She plopped down against the sofa and buried her face in her hands, exhaling a shaky breath. She felt completely torn. Her emotions had her swirling in a sea of choppy waters, in over her head, slipping deeper into the murky water. But she could also feel a sweet release. The moment she felt like she couldn’t sink any lower the water was suddenly receding. And the air tasted sweet and refreshing. She could feel the rage of the storm dissipating, and with it went the heavy weights forcing her below the surface. For the first time in a long time she felt like she could breathe again.


	28. Wonderful Tonight

* * *

**Chapter 28:**

**Wonderful Tonight**

Alison had stayed on Emily’s porch the first five minutes. She’d promised Emily she’d go home, but she couldn’t help herself. She sat on the steps listening for sounds of a struggle. When it became obvious that Isaac hadn’t come to hurt her Alison realized she needed to give Emily the space she’d asked for.

She was doing that thing where she started to act like a territorial asshole. Emily didn’t belong to her. Emily was her own woman. But it was a bitch to leave her alone. She hated it.

It had been half an hour. She’d been pacing around in her living room since she got home. Occasionally she’d look out the window, pushing the curtains aside to see if she could see anything at Emily’s house.

It was supposed to be _their_ night. It was supposed to be another magical night by the fireplace. But the huge twatblock had ruined that when he showed up.

She didn’t hate Isaac, but she hated what he represented. She hated that he’d been with Emily. She hated that he would always be a part of Emily because of the baby.

She stopped pacing when she realized she hadn’t considered Emily’s daughter his. She’d always considered the baby Emily’s alone.

She tried to think about it from his point of view. Emily had been telling her for months how terrible she felt for not telling Isaac the truth. Alison tried to imagine what she’d feel like if someone hid her baby from her.

But she couldn’t see beyond Emily’s desperate need to protect her child. Isaac’s family was toxic. Courtney would never get anywhere near Emily’s daughter. Alison would make sure of that.

She felt a surge of rage. She knew she needed to do something to calm herself down. She grumbled under her breath as she plopped down on the sofa. She reached for the basket of goodies Emily had left for her at the gym. She started digging through everything until her fingers landed against the personalized snowglobe. She tilted it side to side, watching as little flecks of white and speckles of glitter moved around in the clear liquid.

She thought about the little snow family she built with Emily. And she thought about her wish of it being a _real_ family.

She was trying to come to terms with a lot of emotions she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand the power of love, but she knew that she loved Emily. She didn’t understand why it was so important to her for Emily to keep the baby, but she knew she wanted to be a part of her life.

She was willing to give up New York City for Emily and her daughter. _That_ was the power of love.

She stood up, staring at the image of her and Emily in the center of the snowglobe. She wondered if maybe one day there would be another snowglobe, but with a little addition. She trailed her fingers against the glass…fingers she wished were touching her girlfriend instead of trinkets and presents. She loved everything that Emily had done for her, but her favorite gift was the time they spent together.

She sighed, walking across the room to peer out the window. There wasn’t any action happening across the street that she could see. She knew that Emily could take care of herself, but she still felt like barging in and telling Isaac a thing or two.

She wasn’t worried like she’d been when Emily went to see Maya. She knew that Emily didn’t have feelings for Isaac. She was more pissed off than anything else. Because he had ruined their perfect day.

She could only imagine what would happen if they got married one day. Would he be that douchebag that showed up last minute that tried to put a stop to the wedding?

It was so strange to think that Emily had been with him. How desperate must she have been to go against everything in her heart? How afraid had Emily been of her mom and dad?

Alison knew what it was like to fear parents. She had mixed emotions about her mother and father, a blend of fear and resentment. Her dad was scary when he was angry. Her mother was hurtful when she was drunk.

She had become a product of her environment. She knew there was only so much blame she could place on them. After all, at a certain point she knew her actions were solely on her. But her parents hadn’t helped her. They hadn’t cared enough.

Emily’s baby wouldn’t have that problem. She hadn’t even been born yet and Emily had proved that she loved her more than her parents had ever loved her and Jason.

Sometimes she wondered if she would have been able to express her feelings to Emily when they were younger if she hadn’t been so emotionally stunted. Maybe she would have even been a nicer person. Maybe she could have had more time with Emily.

She sat down at the piano, thinking about all the lost time, all the wonderful memories she could have had with the brunette. She was making memories now, but what if she could have had _more_?

Emily’s love had showed her an entirely new universe. She put the snowglobe down on top of the piano. It was so like Emily to get to the root of her heart with such a personal touch. She wished she would have thought of something so elaborate. Emily had done so many wonderful things for her.

She smiled, quietly thinking to herself that she would do better next time. Maybe one day they _would_ decide to get married, and Alison could whisk the brunette off of her feet, army boots and all.

She tapped her index finger against an ivory key. The musical note resonated. She closed her eyes and hit another key. After a few scales it dawned on her…she could still give Emily a gift that was specific solely to them.

She’d been working on musical compositions for months. The most recent song she’d written had come to her in a dream she’d had about Emily and the baby. She’d already transferred it to her phone, so she could listen to it any time she felt uneasy about life.

She wiggled her fingers and stretched her arms and then positioned herself in front of the piano. She knew it by memory, so she started to play, making sure she could still get through it gracefully without mistakes.

As the music filled the house the time ticked by. She wasn’t thinking about the fact that her girlfriend was right across the street with her ex-boyfriend and baby-daddy. She wasn’t stuck in the present. She was thinking about the future.

It was only when she heard noises outside that she stopped.

When she peered out the window she saw Isaac leaving. She felt like rushing out the door and running over to Emily’s house. She waited on a cue from her. She stared at her phone waiting for a text. Emily had promised to call her.

Five minutes went by and she didn’t get anything. She tried to rationalize that maybe Emily just needed a few minutes alone to think about things.

Fifteen minutes was her limit, and not a minute longer. At the very least she needed to make sure that her girl was okay…that Isaac hadn’t upset her. Emily was far from fragile, but any undue stress was bad for her _and_ her daughter.

After fifteen minutes went by and Alison still hadn’t heard from her she quickly made her way back to the Fields house.

She lightly rapped at the door. Emily had barely called, “come in!” before Alison swung the door open and rushed over to Emily’s side.

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to see. She thought maybe Emily would be angry or upset or crying. But her face was a ball of confusion.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asked. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“The opposite.” Emily dropped her hands and leaned back against the couch. “ _I_ hurt _him_. And it’s not the first time I’ve done it.”

“Was he mad? Did he yell?” Alison grabbed her hand. She would kill him if he yelled.

Emily stared at her mother’s mantle. It was organized and in perfect condition. Her mother had a touch of OCD. Everything had to be in its place. It was hard for Emily growing up, because she herself had been so far out of place that her mother couldn’t box her in. It’s why they clashed so much.

“We talked.” Emily rolled her lower lip in between her teeth. She skimmed her tongue across it. “He kissed me.”

“He _what_?” Alison felt a jealous rage creeping up her spine.

She felt the urge to put on heavyweight boxing gloves and go a few rounds with his face.

Emily snapped out of her daze and quickly faced Alison.

“He didn’t do it on purpose. It was a reflex.”

“How does someone accidentally trip and have their lips fall against yours?” Her mouth twisted into a sour expression. How dare he put his lips on hers?

“It’s really complicated. I can’t explain…”

“You’re going to have to try.” Alison grimaced, angling her body towards Emily. “Because if you don’t get a handle on what it means…”

“I know what it means.” Emily frowned, not appreciative of what Alison was insinuating. “He thought that we could try and make it work because of the baby…”

The blonde sank down, feeling deflated.

“So…you didn’t tell him about us?”

Emily saw the disappointment in her eyes. It took the heat out of the moment. All she wanted to do was hug her and assure her everything was okay.

“I did.” Emily grazed Alison’s chin with her fingertips. “Of course I did.”

She needed Alison to know that she would always come before Isaac. He was the father of her child, but Alison was the love of her life.

“I think he just had a hard time accepting it. I hit him with a lot. I’m not surprised he acted out in desperation.”

“Why would he kiss you?” It was so damn disrespectful. She was glad Emily told her, but she was fuming. “Does he think we’re just some kind of experiment or something?”

Emily didn’t feel like answering the question. She didn’t want to put Isaac in the same category with the people who knowingly acted like bigots. He didn’t know there was anything wrong with his suggestion. More than anything he’d just been…confused. And hurt.

“No. He knows how I feel about you.” Emily put her hand on Alison’s thigh. “I made that perfectly clear.”

Alison pinched her brow, her mouth tugging down as she frowned. She didn’t like the idea of Emily’s lips on his lips.

“Ali…” Emily saw the expression on her face.

“I should go and punch his face for making a move on you on _our_ special day…” Alison grumbled.

“It was a mistake,” Emily said calmly.

“Why are you defending him? He knew you were dating someone and he showed up like he was ready for fucking dinner and a movie.”

“He knows it was a shitty thing to do.” Emily tried to calm her down. “I’m sorry you got caught up in our drama.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It kind of is. I lied to him about the baby…and about what he was to me. What I did to him was not okay. It’s bad enough that I let him fall in love with me, but I kept his child a secret from him. I fucked this up massively from the very beginning.”

“Not entirely.” Alison reached out to stroke her belly. “You got her out of all of this.” She reminded her.

“He wants to be a part of her life.” Emily seemed conflicted.

She knew he had a right to be involved. But it scared her to think about shaking things up more than they already were.

Alison flinched. She hated that idea. She’s the one who had been there for Emily since day one. She knew it wasn’t Isaac’s fault that he wasn’t involved. She didn’t blame him for that. It was respectable that he wanted to be involved. But for entirely selfish reasons Alison didn’t want him involved.

“What do _you_ want?”

“I want what’s best for her.” Emily put her palm against her stomach. “And I’m not really sure what that is. I think I know what I want, but then things change. And I just…” She bit her lip. “We’re just kids. I mean, what kind of life can I offer her? Really?”

“She would be lucky as hell to have you as her mother.” Alison reached out and put one hand against her arm and the other against her stomach.

“I know that. But that doesn’t change the fact that I still don’t know if that’s what is best for her. I love her, but I know that sometimes when you love someone you have to put your own feelings aside and think about _them_. What I want doesn’t override what she _needs_ , and I don’t know what that is. I…just…I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“Well, you better figure it out, because she’s going to be here soon.” She squeezed Emily’s arm.

Alison felt a flutter against her palm. Emily looked down, feeling a mixture of emotions. There was no denying the bond that her child had with her girlfriend. She loved that the baby loved Alison, but feeling her respond to Alison when she didn’t react at all to Isaac made her feel guilty.

“There is just so much going on.” Emily settled back against the couch. “Every time I think I have it all together I get locked in a steam room or drugged or have scaffolding dropped on my head. This child has been in more danger than most full grown adults. She hasn’t even been born yet and I’m already failing her.”

“You aren’t failing her. You’re still alive. You’ve protected her.”

“Yeah, but how much longer is that feasible? This person torturing me has upped the game. And normally it wouldn’t scare me. I’m not afraid of this asshole. But it’s not just _me_. They’re putting her in danger, too.” She slowly lifted her eyes to meet Alison’s. “Caleb isn’t the first person that this psycho ran off the road. The night you were drugged I almost had a car hit me head on.”

“What?” Alison’s eyes widened. The whites of her eyes flashed. “Why the hell wouldn’t you tell me that?”

“You were dealing with enough. You were drugged. You were _violated_.”

“So were you!” Alison grumbled back. She hated that Emily never put herself in the equation. “Jesus.” She huffed. “What else haven’t you told me? Because we can’t keep secrets. We have to tell each other these things. If we start lying to each other…”

“I’m not lying about anything.” Emily cut her off, tension in her voice. “There is just a lot going on in my head right now.”

“So then talk to me. You never seemed to have a problem with it before. You’re one of the most outspoken people I know. But lately you’ve been holding back. I can feel it. And I don’t understand why.” The blonde looked at her girlfriend, her face soft and sad. “What happened to the girl who gave me hell for being a wuss about getting on the back of her bike?”

“Right in front of you, Uptown Girl.” Emily poked her with a weak smile. “I’m still me.” Her smile slowly faded. “I’m just working through some intense stuff. The emotions with this pregnancy have been super high. I don’t know how to explain it. The stress of the threats doesn’t help. The messages are getting more specific…” She thought about the ultrasound photo and the threat to her child’s life. “I don’t think they’re just after me. I think they’re after her.”

A switch flipped on inside of Alison. She felt a blazing ball of inferno heating up her entire being, soul and all. All the energy had nowhere to go. The best she could do was store it so when she came face to face with this psycho she could open it back up and use it to destroy them.

“I will fucking kill them.” Alison uttered calmly. There was a terrifying undertone of instability in her voice. Her left eye twitched.

She would eviscerate anyone who ever tried to lay one finger on Emily’s daughter. She knew Emily would do the same. Her baby girl had two fierce warriors ready to burn the world to the ground and go to hell and back just to keep her safe.

She saw the uncertainty on Emily’s face and it dawned on her.

“Is this why you’re having doubts about keeping her?”

“Partly.” Emily nodded.

Alison slipped her hand up Emily’s side and moved to caress her stomach. She paused thoughtfully. She reached out with her free hand and took Emily’s hand in hers.

“They don’t get to take her away from you, Em. Whoever this is…whatever they want…they don’t get to do this to you…to her. They’ll have to get through us first.”

“It’s the thought of what could happen after that concerns me.” Emily squeezed Alison’s hand. She wanted her to understand that the decision was bigger than any _one_ factor.

“We’re going to figure this out.”

“I hope so.” Emily sighed.

“Did you tell Isaac about what was happening? The threats?”

“I wanted to.”

“I wish you would have. I wish you would have told him to scare some sense into his demon of a sister…just on the off-chance that she is involved. He should just tell his whole stupid family to mind their own fucking business.”

Alison saw a grimace on Emily’s face. There was a strange burst of darkness in her normally docile eyes. She could see her clenching her jaw.

“What?” Alison recognized her tension immediately. “What’s that look about?”

“His parents aren’t the only ones who knew. Courtney found out at Christmas. She told him on the trip out here this weekend.”

Alison’s eyes widened.

“Courtney _knew_?” A violent shiver rocked her body. She had flashes to the girl in the red coat. It _had_ to be her. “Em...”

“Yeah, I know.” Emily nodded. “I know what you’re thinking. I’ve gone through it in my mind over and over again. It’s so weird. Sometimes I see the messages and I think they sound exactly like her. But then I think about things logically and I can’t make it make sense.”

“Maybe…” Alison hated herself for thinking it, but she couldn’t imagine what else they could do. “Maybe we _should_ talk to Isaac. See if he can find something to help connect the dots. Or to prove or disprove that she’s involved.”

“I thought about that. I started to tell him, but when he told me Courtney knew about the baby I had this moment of self-preservation. I did start grilling him about how often Courtney flies up to New York, but the more I asked the more he wanted to know…” She furrowed her brow in concentration. “If it got back to her and she _is_ involved I worry about it getting worse.”

“We could get evidence and nail her psychotic ass to the wall.” Alison was fuming.

“Trust me, if I had the opportunity to go toe-to-toe with Courtney again I’d take that opportunity in a heartbeat…” She paused and glanced down, “…if it wasn’t for the baby. Courtney isn’t afraid to hit below the belt. Before she came along I would have gone at her guns blazing. I know I’ve taken some risks, even with the pregnancy. But I can’t afford to do that anymore. When I was locked in that steam room there was this moment I realized that this…all of this…it’s bigger than me.”

Her palm rolled over her stomach, a protective motion to let her daughter know that she was there. She could feel a vibration against her hand. Her little girl wordlessly responding, _“I hear you, mommy.”_

“This baby is real. _She’s_ real. I mean…I know she’s there. I feel her all the time. But it never connected until I thought that I was going to lose her. She stopped moving. And I thought…” Her throat constricted, her voice becoming strained. “I would give my last breath for her. And after everything that’s happened…almost losing her time and time again…I can’t afford to make one misstep.”

“So what do we do?” Alison felt helpless. She knew that anything that she did could fall back on Emily and the baby. “How do we figure this out?”

“Very carefully.” Emily contemplated their options. “We have to look at _everything_. This goes back to the weekend that I moved here. Courtney wasn’t even a thought in my mind when I got that first text. She couldn’t have taken that photo of my house from San Antonio. But then I think about Wilden and Noel...and how they’re doing _something_. I just don’t know how it could possibly be connected. Even if it _was_ Courtney it’s not like she could magically recruit strangers from Rosewood to play her childish games.”

How would Courtney have convinced a total stranger to torture her? She didn’t have the money. And no one would have taken a high-schooler with a vendetta seriously.

“Social media has made it really easy for people to connect. All she had to do was look for people who live here.” Alison pointed out.

Alison had never considered the downsides of sharing so much of her personal life online. Before she started dating Emily she had put everything out there. It was only after they got together that she made everything private. What if something she’d posted had directly resulted in Emily being hurt in some way?

“Yeah, but why Wilden? He was a teacher _and_ he’s an adult. She’s smarter than that. It would have been a huge risk for her to take. She’s bold, but she’s not an amateur. It’s not like they could know each other. She’s never even been to Pennsylvania.”

“There has to be something we’re missing. There has to be a link.” Alison frowned.

“I’ve tried playing connect-the-dots with everyone. Noel. Wilden. Even Nick. But Nick and I never had any beef. He was always so good to me. If it wasn’t for Nick and Isaac then Maya and I could have been really hurt that night at the frat party. He always looked out for me, even when it came to Courtney. He sided with me a lot…tried to force a truce between us.” Emily’s forehead tightened in concentration. “Then again, loyalties change. I’m not going to lie. I thought it was Isaac at one point. He’d have every reason to come after me. But after today...”

“You’re sure Isaac has nothing to do with it?” Alison slid her fingers in between Emily’s.

“I’m not sure of anything. But I do know he wouldn’t put this baby in jeopardy.” Emily squeezed the blonde’s hand. “That leaves a pretty thin pool. I thought about Isaac’s and Courtney’s parents. They have money. They know about the baby. They hate me. They have all the motivation in the world.”

It was a spine-tingling thought...that perhaps they were trying to get rid of Emily and the baby _permanently_. There was an added element of danger to consider if there were adults involved. They didn’t have as many constraints as teenagers. They could go anywhere...and do anything.

“And Nick is right there in New York, though I really have a hard time believing he’d want to hurt me. He was my friend. But that doesn’t mean that he’s not being used. Courtney is very manipulative. He might be part of it without knowing.”

“How?”

“Isaac mentioned that Nick has friends upstate. That’s where they’re staying this weekend. Part of me wonders if Courtney is using him to get to them. Maybe she knows the person connected to Wilden. I keep thinking about those DNA results. Maybe he has a brother or sister out here somewhere.”

“So…do we talk to Nick? Or do we focus on Wilden and hope he leads us to the connection?”

“I don’t know if I want to talk to anyone who knows Courtney. I’m trying to figure out the best way to go about it.” Emily’s face was tight in thought.

She glanced at the blonde, who was patiently looking at her despite all the drama surrounding her life. She was so lucky to have her. She hated that their romantic weekend had been derailed.

“To be honest, I’d rather all of this be tomorrow’s worry.” Emily lifted Alison’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’d rather make the most of what we have tonight.”

She touched Alison’s knee, her expression slowly morphing into a silent declaration of love and appreciation. The fact that Alison was still sitting next to her despite all of her baggage made her respect the blonde more.

“Oh?” Alison asked curiously.

“You’re the most important person in my life.” Her fingertips grazed Alison’s cheek. “I know we’re going through a lot right now, but this weekend is about _us_. And I want to keep it that way.”

“You think we can salvage this night?” Alison lifted her brows.

“I know we can.” Emily leaned in for a kiss, her lips moving with conviction against Alison’s. She pulled back and dipped her head down until their foreheads met. “Even in the middle of all this chaos all I see is you. Nothing else matters.”

Alison nodded slowly, completely mesmerized by Emily’s gaze. The girl had such an alluring beauty to her.

“Just promise me one thing.” Alison reached up and touched Emily’s lips. She clenched her teeth when she thought about Isaac’s mouth touching Emily’s. She felt like kissing them until they were hers again.

“Anything.”

“No more secrets.” She pressed her lips against Emily’s, pushing hard.

Emily smiled at her, kissing her back.

“No more secrets.” Emily nodded.

Alison eyed the Thai food. She pried herself away from Emily to reheat it. Then she curled up next to her while they ate and watched _Love, Actually._

Emily wrapped her arm around Alison’s shoulders and pulled her close. Her eyes were on the screen, but Alison could tell that Emily was out of her head. Seeing Isaac again and telling him everything had to be beyond overwhelming for her.

Alison snuggled next to her and tried to occupy her mind with other things. After the credits rolled Alison smiled up at Emily.

“One of these days I’d love to share a romantic moment with you where I run through the airport into your arms.” She hummed happily.

“You’re in my arms right now.” Emily kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah, but we need a soundtrack to go with it.” She grinned knowingly as she pushed herself to her feet. She grabbed Emily’s arms, beckoning her to follow.

“You know, it’s traditional to kiss after seeing a romantic movie.” Emily stood up, pulling Alison close.

Their lips met once again, both tender and swollen from the several moments of passion they’d shared during the movie. Alison gripped Emily’s jaw with her small delicate palms as she planted gentle pecks against Emily’s lips.

“I have one more present for you, but I need you to come with me.” She motioned towards the door. “My parents are off with their prospective affairs and Jason is at some college orgy…”

“You really know how to set the mood.” Emily snorted sarcastically.

“Come on. Come over to my place with me.”

Emily didn’t fight her. She owed Alison everything and more, especially after their night had been disrupted by her past. She slipped on some shoes and they quickly rushed across the street, Alison eagerly tugging on her hand.

When they walked into Alison’s house the blonde let her fingers slip away from Emily’s. Emily watched her curiously as she walked towards the piano.

“I want to play you something.” She sat down on the bench and looked up at her girlfriend.

The moment Alison started playing the music transformed the room. Emily suddenly understood why Alison felt like their big moments needed a soundtrack like in the movies. Because it brought things to life in an amazing way. It created a world of colors unseen to the naked eye. It made the moment more magical. Soundtracks were the soul in life. And Alison was playing theirs.

Emily perched against the piano and watched her play. Alison always managed to make their love feel transcendent through song. She was a natural. It was calming in a way. Emily watched as Alison’s fingers danced against the keys. She moved her hands with the same conviction she had when they were touching one another. There was a hungry finesse in it.

Alison got lost in her music. It was her escape. Alison’s music did for Alison what Emily’s riding did for her. It took her outside of the stress of the world. It took her somewhere safe.

Alison concentrated on each key stroke, each note, each gliding movement. And Emily watched intently.

Emily moved around the piano and towards the bench, remembering the first time she’d seen her play. The way she moved…the way she played…it was alluring. It captivated every part of her soul.

She sat next to her on the piano bench, memories of the first song she’d played filling her mind. Emily had been mesmerized by her that day. She’d felt like giving in to her urges and kissing her. But she was so glad she’d waited. Their kiss at the kissing rock had been perfect.

Emily felt movement in her stomach. Her daughter was reacting to the song. She looked down and watched the surreal motions of her pulsing belly. Alison saw Emily reach down. She broke her gaze away from the piano. She continued her melody, but her eyes were on Emily’s baby. She smiled when she saw the little girl moving. Maybe she would be a dancer.

Alison’s eyes slowly moved up to meet Emily’s. The passion in the exchange was palpable. Emily’s sultry expression emitted a sexual tension between them. Alison smiled back at her through a hooded gaze. It was intense in an intimate way, as if they were connecting their souls.

They leaned in for a kiss. Alison’s fingers never broke contact with the piano. She continued their song. When they pulled apart Alison looked down at Emily’s stomach again. She reached up towards where her phone was propped up and hit a button that turned the Bluetooth speakers on, seamlessly transitioning the song, as she’d already recorded it. The soft melody started flowing from the speakers.

Alison reached down to touch Emily’s stomach. The baby was the most active she had ever been. Alison couldn’t take her eyes off of the lively little life inside of her girlfriend. It was surreal to think that in just a few months they would be holding her...meeting her.

Emily could always feel her baby spring to life around Alison. She couldn’t help but think about the fact that her daughter had connected to Alison, but there hadn’t been any sense of connection when Isaac had reached out to her. She blamed herself. Maybe if he had been involved more the baby would recognize him. She would always feel guilty, but she didn’t regret it.

Alison could see the tension in her expression.

Emily didn’t have to say what was on her mind. Alison knew.

“I think we’re meant to be exactly where we are.” The blonde leaned forward.

Emily reached out to cup her cheek just as Alison’s lips landed against hers. Their mouths danced together to the beat of the song. Alison could feel the baby starting to settle against the palm of her hand. When she was still Alison pulled back. Her cheeks were flushed with color. She traced her fingers against Emily’s arm and then touched the piano keys again, her fingers itching to finish the melody. She started playing along with the recorded version.

Emily watched her finish the song, perfectly in sync. The music continued even after she had struck the last note. The song was playing on a loop on the speakers. She saw Alison glance at her.

Emily seemed to understand what she wanted without the blonde having to ask. She moved to her feet and extended her hand towards Alison, bowing her head with a smile.

“Dance with me.”

Alison reached out and took Emily’s hand, sliding off of the bench and into her arms. Emily took the lead, and Alison was happy to follow. She swayed along with the brunette. Emily curled her arm against the small of Alison’s back and pushed their bodies together. Alison lazily draped her arms over Emily’s shoulders and laid her head against the crook in her neck.

“This is beautiful.” Emily uttered.

“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done for me…”

“Not just the song.” Emily quietly cut her off. “Us.” She watched as Alison curiously lifted her head. “What we have.” She hooked her fingers underneath Alison’s jaw and pushed her to look up. “I am so insanely in love with you, Alison.”

She looked at Alison and she saw her future. She had finally stopped running from her past. Isaac’s visit had put a lot of things in perspective. She still had a lot to think about, but she didn’t have to think about the one thing she was sure of.

Her lips brushed over Alison’s. The blonde returned the kiss in full, their mouths parting, their tongues meeting. A flash of heat passed between them as they reveled in the taste of one another.

“I love you, too.” Heated breaths came out against Emily’s face before their lips met again.

Their feet were still moving despite their thoughts being consumed with other things. They moved in circular motions, their bodies speaking words that their mouths couldn’t say.

Every so often Alison would feel the warm pressure of Emily’s hand against her back or the fluttering sensation of fingers through her hair. She was in love with her. So in love with her. Like that crazy to the moon and back love that she thought only existed in nonsensical love stories and fairytales. She wanted to marry her. She wanted to be her wife. She wanted to be her child’s mother.

She was so caught up in the moment that she didn’t realize the music was ending. The loop of the song started fading into the background.

When they were left in the silence of the room the dancing slowly came to a halt. Alison peered at the taller girl, blinking slowly, drinking in her gorgeous beauty. Her lips were swollen and moist. Her cheeks were red. Her entire body was glowing.

Alison wanted more. She knew Emily was going through the motions. But she wanted her. So badly.

Emily could read the expression in her eyes. She licked her lips, undressing her with her eyes. She pushed her lips against Alison’s again. Alison reciprocated, pecking back gently. Emily lowered her forehead to meet Alison’s, their eyes meeting.

“Do you want to?” Alison gave her a chaste kiss.

She felt Emily’s mouth curve into a smile.

“Always.” Emily moved backwards, reaching for Alison’s hand.

She turned around and moved towards the stairs, pulling Alison along with her. Emily’s heart thrummed harder with every step that she took. All of the stress and the guilt of the evening felt like a distant memory. She knew that she should be stewing in her remorse or trying to make it up to Isaac, but she was starting to realize that she didn’t owe anyone anything.

Something about Isaac’s visit had freed her from the constraints of her pain. What had happened had happened and there was nothing she could do to change it. Wasting time on regrets wasn’t going to do any good. She couldn’t let her yesterday get in the way of her tomorrow.

They burst into Alison’s room with a newfound energy. It was the momentum they had lost the second that Alison had heard the knock on Emily’s front door. They’d found their way back to the night they were supposed to have.

Their kisses were passionate and slow. Their motions were calculated and dedicated. They weren’t in a hurry. They were soaking in the moment.

Alison placed her hands on either side of Emily’s waist, slowly tracing her fingers up over her curves. Something she loved about Emily was the fact that even with her ever-changing body she still exuded a brilliant confidence. She wasn’t shy about her sexual appetite and she didn’t try to hide herself. Emily was someone who knew exactly what she wanted. She was bold and brave in many ways.

Emily mirrored Alison’s actions, sliding her fingers underneath Alison’s shirt, her fingertips grazing her sides, her thumbs rolling up over her ribs.

When Emily’s finger hit the edge of the lacy material of Alison’s bra she felt Alison smile into their kiss. Emily lifted Alison’s shirt and seconds later it was off. Emily stared at the contrast of the red bra against Alison’s light skin.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Em.” Alison could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks. The way Emily was looking at her was making her sweat.

Emily ravished her with kisses, starting at her collar bone. She left no inch of her skin untouched. Alison repaid the favor after pulling Emily’s tank top off. She knew that the brunette wouldn’t be sporting a bra, because her breasts had gotten extremely sensitive during the pregnancy. Alison was used to seeing her go without undergarments, but seeing her exposed still left her breathless.

Alison moved down, her lips absorbing the taste of her skin. It was somehow sweet and salty at the same time. Alison nuzzled her nose in between Emily’s chest, leaving a lingering kiss before moving down and kissing her stomach.

As they grew more intimate with one another Alison had taken to acknowledging the weight of the child inside of her. She marveled at motherhood. When she kissed Emily’s stomach she felt an aching longing love in her chest that she’d never experienced before.

Watching Alison connect to her daughter stirred the same feelings in Emily. Because Alison loved every part of her. It made what they had special. It was the little moments when Alison showed her vulnerability and her love that made Emily feel beyond attracted to her. It’s how she knew that they were more...that they could be more. She was Emily’s home. She was her family.

Alison’s kisses moved below Emily’s baby bump. She grasped the waistband of Emily’s sweatpants and moved them down over the curve of her hips as she pressed her lips lower. She kissed her just enough to tease her. Then she moved back up and their lips crashed together again.

Minutes later Alison’s pants were on the floor, exposing the matching lingerie set. Emily exhaled heavily as her hormones went into overdrive. She took a moment to appreciate the art of the gift that Alison had given her. She looked like an untouched canvas ready for Emily to mold in any way she wanted.

Emily placed her warm hands against Alison’s sides and kissed her, pushing her back towards the bed. Alison closed her eyes and let out a sigh when her back hit the mattress. She felt like they were still dancing, and Emily was a fantastic dance partner. The magnetic electricity between them energized them in new ways.

Emily was careful about how she shifted her weight, and Alison was careful about not being too rough with her. The combination of their strong personalities made for a very wild entanglement of emotions and actions.

Emily was gentle, passionate. She knew that despite Alison’s tough exterior she needed to be handled delicately. Intimacy was hard for the blonde. Emily understood her needs. She understood what made Alison feel good.

Alison was in tune with Emily. She knew exactly where and how to touch her. She knew how to push her to her height. Emily wasn’t afraid of guiding Alison and telling her what she wanted. She could be commanding in their love when it came to her desires. But she didn’t have to tell Alison what to do anymore, because the blonde knew.

They moved as one, hands grasping sweaty skin in the dim light, soft breaths of satisfaction filling the air. No part of either girl’s body was left untouched...unexplored. Everything about it was familiar and steadfast. The way they navigated each other’s pleasure was like being in the middle of a hurricane, yet facing the eye with no fear. Their bodies commanded certain things, and neither of them had to say it with words. It was uncontrollable in the most controlled way, like a fearless exploration.

They took turns pushing each other to the limit. Their stamina was unbridled. By the time they were done both of them were exhausted in the best way. Their heated sweaty bodies stayed entwined.

Emily was on her back, staring up at the ceiling. There were faded glowing star stickers that Alison had put up years ago that her eyes were focused on. They seemed brighter than Emily remembered.

The blonde’s cheek was resting against her collar bone. Emily was drawing nonsensical patterns on Alison’s back. One of her favorite things about being with Alison was holding her afterwards and appreciating the quiet stillness…just the sounds of her girlfriend breathing.

The silence was another act of intimacy in itself. They were just one quiet entity, together, in love. They didn’t have to speak with words. Their minds were quiet. Their souls and hearts were fed.

Ten minutes went by. Ten minutes of them sharing touches, tracing curves, kissing bare skin. Ten minutes of bliss.

“That was incredible.” Emily kissed the top of Alison’s head.

Alison lifted her cheek off of Emily’s chest and peered at her.

“It wasn’t too much for you, was it?”

“Not at all.” Emily smiled.

Alison smiled back, propping herself up on her elbow.

“Sometimes I just worry about pushing you too hard. The last thing I want to do is hurt the baby.”

“This kid has been through worse and survived.” Emily reminded her.

“She’s tough like her mama.” Alison draped her arm across the top of Emily’s belly.

Emily’s skin was like fire. It’s like she had an internal heater that increased in temperature as the pregnancy continued to get further along.

Alison rubbed her damp stomach. It was dripping with perspiration. She’d made it a habit to check on the baby every chance that she got. The little one had been through a lot. First the dangers of the steam room and then her mama’s stress of seeing Isaac again.

Alison’s face hardened when she thought about Isaac. She hadn’t wanted him to be a thought in her mind during the rest of _their_ night, though it was kind of hard to ignore something so huge. She tried to shift her focus.

“I can’t believe we’re going to get to meet her in a few months.” She gently massaged Emily’s stomach.

“It’s crazy.” Emily smiled.

“Are you scared?” Alison peered at her.

She had the softest after-sex eyes that Emily had ever seen. It’s like all the rough edges faded away and left a soft landing for her.

“About meeting her?” A smile flickered on Emily’s lips. She had dreamed about what her daughter would look like for months.

“About everything. Not just that, but…what it’s going to be like to give birth. I know you don’t have a birth plan…”

“The OB says there really is no such thing as a birth plan. Babies come when and however they want.” Emily yawned.

“I know you’re struggling with what you want to do afterwards. That…that you’re worried about what you should do for her…”

“It’s strange. I go back and forth. Motherhood is this concept I’m not all that familiar with. If it’s anything like being pregnant there’s a window of controlled chaos. But beyond that it’s supposed to be an insane ride. It’s like…” Emily tried to describe what she was feeling, but it was hard to put into words. “I think it’s like diving into the pool when it’s cold out. There is no ‘slowly getting used to it’. You just jump in and let the cold overtake you and hope that your body heat evens things out. You have to believe that your pheromones and emotions and plans align.”

“And if they don’t?”

“I don’t know.” Emily shrugged lightly.

“I hate to play the devil’s advocate, but what exactly did you talk to Isaac about in terms of parental rights?”

One of her nightmare scenarios was that Isaac would want shared custody, but Emily said they hadn’t discussed it. He seemed to be taking the passive approach. Alison had to give him kudos for wanting to do the right thing. His intentions were honorable, but misguided. Alison didn’t like the idea of him being in this baby’s life. She had other things in mind with Emily’s daughter. The little girl deserved stability. Now that Isaac was in the mix they had to figure out exactly what that new recipe was and how it was going to work for them.

“He’s not the kind of guy who would try to take you to court or anything, would he?”

“No. But his parents…I don’t know. I don’t know what anyone else in that family is capable of. Isaac seems to think that he has some sort of control, but he doesn’t. He never has. His sister is malicious. And his parents are awful. They’ll railroad right over him. And it’s not his fault. He got burdened with such a terrible family.” She moved her hand down until her fingers bumped against Alison’s on her stomach. “I feel guilty every day for taking this little girl away from him. He has every right to hate me. But the crappy thing is that he _doesn’t_. I think I’d feel better if he did.”

“Maybe he understands,” Alison said thoughtfully. “Maybe he knows what you’re going through. If I had a baby I’d want them as far away from my parents as possible. I’d take her and never look back. You do what you have to do to protect the people you love.”

“Yeah, but what do you do when you’re trying to protect someone you love by hurting someone else that you love?” Emily sighed. “Isaac’s circumstances aren’t his fault.”

“Neither are yours.” Alison reminded her.

“I am where I am because of the choices I made.” Emily sighed. “He didn’t do anything wrong, other than being born into the wrong family.” The frustration on her face was almost unbearable. “He deserves so much better.” She glanced at Alison, who had a curious look on her face. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about this…”

“I’m the one who brought him up. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. I don’t want you to hold everything in. It’s not good for you. Trust me, as the queen of suppression I would know. And I hear that stress during pregnancy gives you heartburn.” She poked Emily’s belly.

“ _Breathing_ gives me heartburn.” Emily rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Can’t blame it on the stress.”

“So what did he say about the baby?”

“He said he’d leave it up to me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Emily mashed her lips together. “But I don’t know what to do. I think I was fine pretending that he didn’t know, but now that he knows everything feels different. I can’t stop thinking…what if she hates me? What if she resents me for not having him in her life?”

“She won’t.” Alison moved off of her elbow to peck Emily’s lips. “I see no universe in which anyone could ever hate you.”

“Mothers and daughters fight,” Emily said. She made a face. She’d fought with her mother more than enough to know that. “This is such a tough decision. It’s weird, because even though he offered to step up I don’t want him to feel _obligated_. I don’t know what’s going through his mind, because I don’t know him like I used to know him. And that’s my fault. I pushed him away. And now I can’t tell if he’s just offering because he thinks it’s the right thing to do, whether he thinks it will somehow magically bring us back together, or whether he actually wants to be a part of her life. I think…” She paused. “I think he has this fantasy in his head that when she’s born we’ll magically become a family. I don’t think this is about the baby. I think he just misses me so much he’s willing to do anything to have me back in his life.”

Alison grumbled under her breath. It wasn’t enough that he’d made a move on Emily. If he thought he could try to steal her away it would not end well for him. Emily saw Alison’s ferocious brow. Her tight pink lips were creased into a frown. The little wrinkles in her forehead were pronounced in the low lighting.

“Hey,” Emily said, reaching up to cup her cheek, “…it’s you, Ali. It’s always been you. I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you. You know that, right?” Alison’s grimace turned into a soft smile. “I think he wants to do the right thing for the wrong reasons. And I don’t want the complications. I know that makes me a terrible person…”

“You’re not. You’re not a terrible person. And you’re right. You know you are. He would have fought you harder otherwise. You know this isn’t what he really wants in his heart.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded.

Alison could see the sad distant look in her eyes. It was a look she didn’t have before Isaac had come barging into her life again. It made Alison mad.

“I hate him for coming here.” Alison admitted.

“Me too.”

“But you still love him?”

“I love _you_.” She threaded her fingers into Alison’s.

“I know that.” Alison smiled. “I just meant that he will always be your best friend…no matter how many miles you have between you.”

“You would think that. But I think part of growing up means growing apart. High school is fleeting. Not everyone you meet stays in your life. When I first met Isaac I thought we’d be friends forever, but when we started drifting apart I realized sometimes friends get lost in the shuffle. It’s love that lasts.”

“Your circumstances are a little bit different.” She kept her hand against Emily’s belly. “You’re always going to be connected to him.”

“Maybe.” Emily puffed out a breath and rolled on to her side to face the blonde. “I’ve got a lot to think about.”

Their lips fell together naturally. Alison kept one hand on Emily’s stomach and placed her other hand against the side of her neck. They held the kiss for several seconds. Alison felt movement against her palm. The baby was rolling over. It made her feel incredibly soft. They both smiled into the kiss.

Alison wordlessly pulled away and snaked herself down around Emily’s body until her cheek was flat against the side of her baby bump. She turned her head to press a kiss against her belly. The baby moved again, something swiping against the palm of her hand.

Alison couldn’t say for sure, but it felt like a tiny hand. She imagined an impossibly small hand with itty bitty fingers pushing up against hers. She felt a warm tickle in her throat. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against the side of Emily’s stomach again. She took a shuddering breath and then glanced up at the brunette, who had been watching her with curious eyes.

“Please keep her, Em. _Please_.” Her voice came out soft and quiet, a juxtaposition to her normally brash tone. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you this, but I can’t…I can’t see my life without you both. I know I can’t be what Isaac could be to her. I know I’m not part of her like that…”

“I don’t want him, Alison. I want _you_.” She reached down, keeping Alison’s hand in place. “ _She_ wants you.” Her unborn child had chosen Alison. Emily could feel it. “She doesn’t react to anyone like she reacts to you.”

“Not even him?”

“He tried to connect to her, but she didn’t budge.” Emily flinched. “I didn’t feel _anything_.”

She knew it was her fault the baby didn’t respond. It was her fault he hadn’t known. But even if he did know Emily wasn’t sure the baby would respond to him the way she did to Alison. Her dad touched her belly sometimes and the baby didn’t react to him either. Alison just had something special about her. And the baby knew it.

“I do want her.” Emily lowered her voice, a slight crack breaking her speech. “More than anything. I just go back and forth because I worry about making the right decision.” She let out a quiet gust of air. “Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I mean…I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but there is a lot more that goes into it than I realized. The decisions alone keep me up at night.”

“And here I thought you stayed up because you like watching me sleep.” Alison hugged her, her face pressed against Emily’s stomach. She felt it bounce beneath her cheek as Emily let out a soft laugh.

“My time is pretty evenly divided between cherishing your cute snoring and the baby drop-kicking the shit out of my bladder.”

“It will all be worth it when you meet her. I know it will.” Alison smiled.

Emily nodded in agreement.

“I was thinking that, too. I…um…” Emily cleared her throat. She sounded nervous. Alison moved up next to her, lying on her side, sharing the same pillow where Emily was resting her head. With their faces inches apart she could see the uncertainty in Emily’s eyes. “I haven’t really had a chance to plan for much. But…I want you there in the delivery room. If you want to be.”

Alison’s jaw went slack in surprise. She was unable to say anything at first, because she was too busy concentrating on not crying. Her nose crinkled as she reached up to grasp Emily’s cheek. The fact that Emily wanted her face to be one of the first faces that her daughter saw was flattering and humbling and exciting. She was overjoyed, overwhelmed, and honored.

“So…” Emily touched her cheek with her fingertips. “Do you want to?”

Alison suddenly realized that she hadn’t said anything yet.

“Oh my God, of course!” Alison nodded profusely. “Yes!”

She gripped Emily’s cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. She cradled her face, looking at the pure joy in the brunette’s eyes. She was certain that she was the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Alison smiled, humming happily as she nuzzled her cheek against Emily’s shoulder. She kissed her glistening skin.

“I am all-in with this, Em. No matter what you decide.”

It was a relief for Emily to hear Alison say it. Isaac had told her the same thing, but it didn’t hold the same meaning to her. She wrapped her arms around Alison and felt her relax into her embrace.

A few minutes later Alison was heaving out even breaths against her collar bone, wheezing softly. Emily reached down and gently ran her fingers through Alison’s hair, letting her sleep.

She looked up at the stars on Alison’s ceiling, wondering how many wishes the blonde had wished over the years. And had she ever wished for this?

After the day she’d had it was a comfort to her to believe that wishes could come true. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

She was comfortable for a while, but after a few hours she woke up drenched in sweat, starving, and needing to pee.

The joys of impending motherhood.

She was on her left side. She always somehow ended up on her left side. She was convinced it was because she read something in a baby book about how it was best for the baby if she slept on her left side because it delivered more nutrients to them. She was sure she was subconsciously doing it.

Alison was facing her. It was how most of their intimate moments ended. Alison often sought comfort in Emily’s embrace. It was getting trickier for them with the baby bump, but Alison was like a cat. She could sleep in any position.

Her arms were curled up against Emily’s chest. Her cheek was buried against her swollen bosom. Her torso was pressed against Emily’s belly. She nuzzled against her when she felt Emily shift, but she didn’t wake up.

Emily didn’t want to disturb her. But then she felt her kid kick her bladder and she almost jumped out of bed. She carefully shifted backwards without waking the blonde.

When she got to her feet she stretched her back, trying to loosen her muscles. She was trying very hard to stay active during her pregnancy.

She grabbed her phone to check the time, and she immediately regretted it when she saw a message from Isaac. It was long, and she almost didn’t read it. But then she thought about everything she’d put him through. And she realized the least she could do was hear what he had to say.

**_Look Em, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what to say or what to feel. I can’t stop thinking about everything. I feel like my head is never going to stop spinning. I’ve thought a lot about what you said. And I don’t know what to do. Part of me knows I need to be a man about this and step up, even if it’s not what either of us were expecting. But…the other part of me knows you’re right. About everything. I can’t say what I would have done had you told me earlier. I can’t say things would have been any different. I don’t want to be a deadbeat, but I also don’t want to push you into something you’re uncomfortable with. Tbh, I don’t even know if I’m comfortable with it. It’s so much to process. You take your time. I need some time, too. But we’ll talk again soon, okay? Take care of yourself. Take care of her._ **

She looked at the sleeping blonde. She felt something in her heart shift. She loved the girl senseless, but it didn’t curb her guilt. She’d asked Alison to be by her side when she was having the baby. She didn’t ask Isaac. How was that fair?

Alison made a quiet mewling sound and murmured something in her sleep. She rubbed her face against the pillow and quietly sighed. The motion was so cute that it made Emily feel better.

She pulled the covers up over Alison so she wouldn’t get cold. She put her clothes on and meandered out into the hallway.

After her stop in the restroom she quietly crept downstairs. Alison had told her that her parents would probably be gone all weekend and that Jason was away, but there had been a few times when they’d showed up and nearly caught them in a precarious position.

She walked into the kitchen. Alison had always told her to make herself at home. There was always plenty of food to go around. She was just planning on grabbing a light snack, but before she could start foraging she heard a shuffling noise behind her, which sparked a survival instinct to life.

She grabbed the closest thing in sight. A wooden spoon and a knife. She spun around and breathed out a sigh of relief. She put the utensils down.

“Hey.” Alison walked in. She had one hand tangled in her messy bedhead and the other rubbing her sleepy eyes. She had on a wrinkled silky robe. “Everything okay?”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Emily smiled at her.

It hadn’t taken Alison long to figure out that Emily wasn’t next to her anymore. She could feel that she was missing.

“What are you doing in here?” Alison yawned.

“Baby was hungry.” Emily shrugged.

“Why didn’t you wake me? I’m down for a midnight snack. I’ll make something for us.” She walked over to the pantry.

She grabbed two bottles of water, tossing one to Emily. Alison took a swig of her water.

“I know why _I’m_ hungry. I’m eating for two. But I don’t know how you could be hungry after that full course meal you just had upstairs.” Emily teased.

Alison sprayed the entire counter with the water in her mouth and nearly choked on her laughter.

“You do realize you are a whole ass snack and I’ll never get tired of you?” Alison asked.

“Mmm.” Emily chuckled, placing her hand on Alison’s waist. “Naughty, naughty.”

“I was just warming up.” Alison winked. “What are you in the mood for?”

“More of you.” Emily smirked. “But maybe an appetizer first. I’m feeling…salty-sweet tonight.”

“Yes, you certainly are.” Alison smiled at her. She opened the cabinets and grabbed two bowls. “I’ve got just the thing. Why don’t you get off your feet? Go relax on the couch. I’ll bring it to you.”

“I could get used to this housewife routine.” Emily lightly smacked Alison’s butt, squeezing her tight cheek.

“Um…excuse me? I am _no one’s_ housewife.” But she couldn’t help but smile.

“No, but you’re totally my bitch.” Emily slid her hand up against Alison’s side. She smiled sweetly at her. She placed a chaste kiss against her lips. “Kidding.”

Alison knew she was teasing. She didn’t _hate_ seeing the sassy side of her girlfriend. It made her body tingle in excitement.

“You’re a really good girlfriend.” Emily caressed her cheek.

Alison gave her a bashful look. Sometimes she was still baffled by the fact that Emily could take her edge off without even trying.

Emily walked into the living room. Alison followed a few minutes later with two bowls filled with ice cream topped with peanuts and peanut butter cups.

“Salty sweet. Just like you.” Alison sat next to Emily on the couch. “My parents think keeping ice cream in the house is a sin, but Jason knows where to stash it in the freezer. Thank God for his late night munchies.”

Emily chuckled as she lifted the spoon out of the bowl and ate a bite. It was exactly what she needed to settle her cravings.

When they were finished Alison went to take the dishes into the kitchen. Emily stood up to stretch her legs. She heard the dishes clattering in the sink, followed by the water running.

Her eyes landed on the bookcase by the fireplace. She spotted _Great Expectations_. It was one of Alison’s favorites. She walked over and observed the books, smiling as she trailed her fingers across the bookcase. The panel was pristine and polished.

Emily picked at the novels, trying to imagine which ones Alison took to her little reading nook. She could tell that most of the titles belonged to Alison. She saw a copy of _The Telltale Heart_ slightly out of alignment. She pulled it out to adjust it and heard something rustling behind it. When she ran her fingertips over the wood she felt a slot and something sticking out. She curiously pulled it up.

She saw **NYU** written in bold letters. She could tell by the weight of the contents that it wasn’t a rejection letter. She opened the envelope and pulled the top sheet up.

_“Dear Miss DiLaurentis, we are pleased to inform you…”_

“Em, did you want seconds or were you done?” Alison walked back into the living room.

She paused in her stride when she saw Emily standing by the bookcase with the NYU packet in her hands. Emily faced her.

“What’s this?” Emily held up the acceptance letter.

Alison felt a pit in her stomach. Suddenly, her body felt like it weighed a ton. She knew that Emily would be all over her to go.

“I knew I should have burned it,” she uttered.

“You got in?” Emily smiled at her. “Alison, this is amazing!”

“I mean…maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to go. I’m keeping my options open. I’m still waiting to hear back from Hollis.”

“Hollis doesn’t have much of a Music and Performing Arts program.”

“I’m looking at other things.”

“Mmhmm.” Emily scrutinized her. “So…were you going to tell me?”

Alison didn’t answer. Emily nodded.

“So much for ‘no more secrets’. Seems like I’m not the only one who has decisions to make here.”

She walked over to the couch, sitting down. She pat the empty spot next to her and Alison automatically gravitated towards her side.

“You remember when we first got together? I told you I didn’t want you basing your future on what I do. I want you to do what makes you happy.”

“ _You_ are what makes me happy.”

“But not the only thing.” Emily traced her fingers over the NYU packet. “I love you. I love _us_. And what we have. But it’s okay to want things for yourself, too. It’s not realistic to have our _entire_ lives revolve around each other.” She pried her eyes away from the acceptance letter to face Alison.

The last thing she wanted to do was hold Alison back. She had an idealistic fantasy that they could make things work somehow, but she was still trying to figure out the logistics.

“I don’t want you to wake up one day and regret the chances that you didn’t take. I don’t want you to realize that you could have done something more. You know me…I’m all about seeing the world. It’s the army brat in me. Traveling has taught me that there is nothing better than an open road. We’re young. We should be out there…exploring.”

“I don’t want to go.” Alison argued.

“Do you realize how talented you are? It could really turn into something. It’s an incredible opportunity…”

“I don’t care.” She snatched the letter. “How can I be there for you and the baby if I’m all the way in New York?”

“People make it work all the time.”

“Maybe…” Alison played with the letter in her hand. “Maybe you could come with me?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure all the sorority sisters would _love_ having a temperamental infant in a dorm room.” Emily laughed sarcastically. “I kind of want my daughter to be a little older before she experiences pledge week.”

“We could get a place off-campus.” Alison touched her hand.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay? There is a lot I need to consider. I’m still making choices for something that hasn’t even happened yet. I’m setting down roots here. My parents are here. My job is here. I can’t just pick up and leave.”

“You’re the one talking about open roads and adventures.” Alison laid her head against Emily’s shoulder. Emily automatically reached out and touched her knee. “Can’t exactly do that without my biker babe at the helm.”

Emily laid her head down against the top of Alison’s, a smile on her face.

“Hell of a Valentine’s Day weekend.” She chuckled. “My baby daddy. Your ticket to NYU.”

“And a stalker in a pear tree.” Alison sang to the tune of _The Twelve Days of Christmas_. She sighed. “What are we going to do?”

Emily shrugged, falling back against the back of the couch.

“Whatever we have to.” Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde.

The world felt like it was spinning out of control and the best that they could do was hold on. It was a strange thought that the planet was constantly moving. _They_ were constantly moving, rotating in the galaxy. Alison had never stopped to think about it before. Gravity kept them from plummeting off the planet. Emily kept her from plummeting out of control.

Alison had always known that the brunette came with an element of danger, but she never knew how rocky their journey would truly be.

She’d grown up with monsters in plain sight. She was used to them. Her parents. Herself. Her sense of entitlement. From a very young age she had been taught that weakness was unacceptable. She had always been the one on the prowl. She had been the hunter for many years.

She wasn’t used to being the hunted.

She wasn’t used to things like the person moving in the shadows outside her house. The breeze covered the sounds of the soft footsteps by the side of her house.

A pair of eyes landed on one of the cameras that had been installed by Caleb. Cutting into the security camera feed hadn’t been easy. Tech Boy was good at what he did. But after it had been cracked it was a simple matter of feeding a loop of prerecorded footage back to the base. Now they could come and go as they pleased.

The car was parked inside a garage nearly a mile and a half away. It was too risky to drive it so close to Alison’s and Emily’s houses. The walk hadn’t been bad. People didn’t look twice when someone was in jogging attire. It was easy to blend in in the suburbs. People were so trusting.

Watching the girls invigorated a certain cheap thrill that was almost a turn on. Alison and Emily were so sickeningly in love that it was nauseating. They’d been in Alison’s house for hours. It didn’t take much imagination to figure out what they were up to. Alison’s bedroom window was covered by her curtains, but the low lighting in the room had cast the motions of their shadows.

Watching them fuck was both enthralling and infuriating. They’d had more than enough warnings, yet they weren’t taking anything seriously. It was almost enough to consider deviating from the original plan.

The gun was heavy and pressing hard against the inside seams of the saggy jogging pants. There would probably be a bit of chaffing. Not all of the jogging had been an act.

The gun was calling out, begging to be used. It could easily end right now. A Valentine’s Day murder-suicide. That’s what the news would think. It would be easy to plant a note. Alison’s reputation would make it easy to spin it into an infatuation gone too far. People would believe that she had pulled the trigger.

But that wasn’t the plan. The DiLaurentis house wasn’t the target tonight. Emily was clearly enjoying herself a little too much. It was time to put an end to that. It was time to make her pay attention. She needed to listen.

Using the cover of darkness the hooded figure slunk across the street, careful to avoid lights. The shadows were the best to hide.

Emily had locked her front door. She had always been a smart girl. But it didn’t take much to bypass the typical lock. Once inside, the jogger pulled the hood down and quietly closed the door.

The lights had to stay off. The footsteps were cautious, even though no one was home. There was a slight edge in being inside the Fields house. Emily’s father owned guns. That’s why it had been so important to wait for the house to be totally empty with no chance of anyone being there.

There had been a close call once. At Maya’s house. Hiding in the closet while Maya’s brother rooted around for his headphones had been thrilling, but it was too close for comfort. It was a mistake that could not happen again.

The first stop was the main bedroom. The plan had been to get in and get out as quickly as possible, but it took a little bit of time to find what was needed.

The small automatic light on the wall flickered on and illuminated a reflection in the mirror. There was a quiet squeaking noise. The moisture from the grass had made the running shoes slick against the bathroom floor.

Smooth fingertips grazed the plastic hidden inside the pocket of the hoodie. There was a rattling noise in the dark.

It didn’t take long. It was easier to focus on the matter at hand knowing that the endgame was going to be so satisfying.

_Get in and get out._

That’s what it was supposed to be. But everything came to a screeching halt as the hallway narrowed into a corner with a soft light emitting from a room with a cracked door.

The door creaked open as it was pushed forward, leaving all of its contents on display.

The room smelled like her.

The bedroom was almost bare. Most of her things would now be at her apartment. There were a few things left unpacked. Temptation was out in the open, and resisting was pointless. There wasn’t much to go through. Emily had always been a minimalist.

A gloved hand reached out and traced the outline of a picture collage hanging on the wall. It was hard to resist ripping all the happy memories to shreds. It would be so easy to gut her room…make her feel unsafe and violated. Take everything away from her just like she deserved.

But it was a long game. Strategy was everything.

It was still tempting to grab her pillow and slit it open with a blade and send feathers flying everywhere just to send a message.

_You’re next._

There was a soft squeaking noise as the hooded assailant sank down against the mattress. Gloved fingertips gripped the edge of the bed, twisting the sheets around. The room was silent except for the sounds of a heaving sigh as a heavy head fell back against Emily’s pillow.

The room was dark, but fortunately the eyes peering up at the ceiling had adjusted to that darkness. Looking up above the bed was about seeing what Emily saw while she laid there. What did she think of? What did she dream of? Had the nasty girl across the street defiled her in this bed?

There was a brief moment where the gloves almost came off, but the risk of leaving behind fingerprints was too high. Though…would Emily ever dust her room for prints? Would she think to do that?

The thought that Emily could come home at any minute released a rush of adrenaline that was almost euphoric. The excited panting breaths echoed in the quiet house.

_Get in and get out._

But leaving was proving to be difficult. Staring at Emily’s room…seeing the things that Emily saw from her perspective opened up an entirely new layer of insight into who Emily Fields was as a person. She’d always been somewhat of an enigma.

Being surrounded by her essence helped paint a picture. It wasn’t hard to imagine Emily there in that very moment. It wasn’t hard to imagine her sitting at her desk, browsing her laptop…or combing through her closet to find her outfit for the day…or pleasuring herself in the very spot that was occupied on the bed.

She was probably fucking Alison again. It was almost enough to ruin the moment.

A car door slammed in the distance, bringing about a startling crash into reality. The bed squeaked again as the hooded assailant leaped to their feet, still panting from the rush.

It was time to go. The little detour had lasted long enough. The job had been done. The shadow slunk towards the door.

There was a pause in the cocky stride as the jogger was walking out of the room. Behind the door there was an open box. It was filled with things from Emily’s childhood. The little red dress she’d worn as a baby was folded neatly on top. There was a pair of tiny little polished black dress shoes with it.

It started with a simple observation. Touching the dress. Holding it up, picturing how Emily might feel putting it on her child. The thought of it ignited a blinding white hot rage that offered almost enough incentive to destroy the very things that Emily held dear.

_Get in and get out._

The dress was not placed back in the box.

The intruder slipped out of the house and made the trek back to the vacant house with the garage hiding the little grey car that had run both Emily and Caleb off the road.

A sense of relief calmed the adrenaline when the keys slipped into the ignition.

The feeling of relief was short-lived.

An ember sparked from the backseat. There was a gasp and then the large bulky person came into view in the rearview, a vape dangling from his lips. Gloved fingers reached back and smacked him, knocking the vape from his mouth.

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me.”

“Jesus?” He scoffed. “I’m no saint.”

“Yes, you’ve proven that more than once.” The voice was sharp, cutting. “What are you doing here?”

“Helping you out.” He reached down to pick up his vape, smiling in amusement. “Didn’t want you in over your head.”

“I can handle myself.”

“Is that so?” He taunted. “You realize how close you were to getting caught? You’re getting sloppy. I saw you near the Fields house.”

“You were following me?”

“I was out for a walk.” He shrugged.

“At night? On Valentine’s Day? Don’t you have some pretty little high school bimbo to bang?”

“That ship has sailed thanks to those miserable little bitches.” He grumbled. “You should’ve put a bullet in between Emily’s eyes.”

“Not until after the baby is born.”

“What do you care about the little fetus anyway?”

The suggestion rattled the conversation just enough to spark a heated response.

“I _don’t_. But she’s an expectant mother…and nothing is worse for a mother than the thought of something happening to her baby.” There was a quiet pause, a boiling anger simmering. “She deserves to suffer a little more. And after the little brat is born we’ll make her watch as we cut its squalling head off. Or maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll get so stressed that she miscarries.”

“Fuck.” He laughed. “You’re dark.” He puffed on his vape again.

“You know…that shit is worse for you than cigarettes.”

“Okay, _mom_.” He brushed it off.

His tone was starting to get annoying. Bringing him into it had been happenstance. The fact that he lived in Rosewood, of all places, couldn’t have been more perfect. But he was a loose cannon. A liability. Especially now that he was being watched.

“Is there a reason you’re here? You’re going to get us both caught.”

“Brought you something.” He reached into his coat pocket. He waved a burner phone in the air with a smile on his face before handing it over.

“What is this?” The phone only had one app on it. A GPS locator.

“Guess who is Geo-tagged?” He smiled. “Turnabout is fair play. Ever since I found out they were spying on me I’ve been working on turning it back around on them. Could never get anything off the ground, especially with Rivers working with them. But after that stunt you pulled he’ll be keeping his distance. And now…we’ve got our very own ‘Find-a-bitch’ app.”

There were two small pin locators at the DiLaurentis house.

“You tagged _both_ of them? _How_?”

Excitement. Elation.

“You know better than anyone that girls love shiny things, especially on Valentine’s Day.” He looked proud of himself. It was the first smart thing he’d done. “Can’t take all the credit. Without the cashflow and the right people on the payroll it wouldn’t have been possible. The necklace Alison got was specially made. I just had someone make it a little _extra_ personal. And the bracelet Emily got for her was a bit of a surprise, but with the right incentive I had a little help getting the perfect charm on it at the gym.”

“How did you get Noel to help you? I thought he was out. After that set-up at school in the school gym he turned into a total turncoat.”

“Supply and demand.” He winked.

“Well, you’ve been a busy boy…” A grin with an undertone of impression.

Perhaps he had been underestimated. He wasn’t as useless as he seemed.

“I’ve got one, too. Between the two of us now we’ve got them locked down. Don’t say I never gave you anything.” He moved towards the door.

“Want a ride home?”

“Nah. Too conspicuous.” He shook his head as he reached for the door handle. “They’re already sniffing around me as it is.”

He pushed the door open and climbed out.

“Hey, Darren?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fuck this up.”

Wilden laughed harshly as he shut the car door. He slapped the hood of the car twice. It had been the perfect car to blend in around Rosewood. It was non-descript and dull, just like the town. It was sort of a family heirloom.

Unfortunately for them, it was about to be the catalyst in their downfall. Wilden watched as the vehicle disappeared into the darkness.

By morning the car was long gone, but there was a blurry image of it on Caleb River’s computer screen. He’d promised Emily to back off, but there was one thing he wanted to do before he left her to her own devices. It was the least he could do for her.

The make and model of the car coupled with the partial license plate had returned a positive match. And not just any match. When he saw the name his eyes widened. It was the break in the case they’d been hoping for.

Four miles away, Emily was in Alison’s kitchen making the blonde some coffee. She knew she hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep. Emily had tossed and turned most of the night, unable to get comfortable. And the bathroom habits were getting ridiculous.

As she was pouring the coffee into a mug she heard her phone buzzing on the counter. She cringed, worried that it was going to be Isaac again. She didn’t know what else to say to him.

The message wasn’t from Isaac, but from Caleb. She curiously pulled it up.

**_I know you told us to hang back, but I thought you should know I got a hit on the car we’ve been trying to track. Got a minute to talk?_ **

Emily nearly stumbled over her feet. She put the steaming hot beverage down and quickly hit the speed dial.

“You’re up early.” Caleb seemed surprised when he answered.

“I’m on a baby-schedule now. I never sleep. Training for the real thing. How are you feeling?” Emily questioned.

“A little sore. I’ve got some scrapes, but nothing major. Hanna pampered me this weekend. It was so out of character for her.” He laughed.

“I’m glad you’re okay. So, what did you find out about the car?” She poured creamer into the cup of coffee.

“Well, I didn’t see the car that hit me, but I’m pretty sure it could have been the same one. Especially now that I know who it’s registered to. Elliott Rollins.”

The name didn’t register for Emily. She’d never heard of the man.

“Who is he?”

“Darren Wilden’s father.”

A puzzled expression washed across her face.

“I thought…didn’t his father leave when he was a baby?”

“He took his mother’s last name, but his birth certificate has Rollins listed as his father. I came across that about a week ago, but it was a dead end…at least until this hit came up. There is no current address for him, but the vehicle was registered in Buffalo.”

Upstate New York. It all came back to upstate. Noel mentioned that Wilden had friends upstate. And the person who had drugged Alison told her he was on his way to Buffalo. At first, Emily hadn’t been sure that Wilden was actually involved in what was happening to them. But it was hard to ignore the connection.

Emily heard Alison’s footsteps as she shuffled into the room. She turned to face her, noting that the poor girl looked exhausted. But she also looked elated. She was practically glowing. Their night had meant something to her. It had meant something to both of them. Things were shifting in ways they’d never expected.

“Em?” Alison yawned. “What’s going on?”

There was a pause before Emily responded. But then she very decidedly nodded.

“We’re going to New York.”

They had gotten everything they could from Wilden and Noel. Emily knew they weren’t going to find answers in Rosewood. She also knew that Alison and the baby wouldn’t be safe until they stopped the mastermind behind the attacks. She was sick of waiting for the next death threat. She was ready to take the fight to them. Now that they had a direction she was ready to run with it. She wasn’t going to stop until she had answers. She wasn’t going to stop until her family was safe.

* * *

**A/N:** _Finding the balance between chapters that are plot driven and chapters that are character driven are important to me, especially when there is so much going on emotionally with the characters. Alison and Emily (and yes, Isaac, too) are dealing with some heavy stuff. I hope this chapter wasn’t too long-winded with the fluff. We’ve got some action coming up._


	29. Growing Up

* * *

**Chapter 29:**

**Growing Up**

The trip was meant to be two-fold. Emily wanted to see NYU. She wanted to see Alison in her element. She wanted to see the living situation there. At least, that’s what she was going to tell her mom and dad. Part of it was true. She _did_ want Alison to understand what she would be missing out on if she rejected New York.

Their main reason for going was to catch a criminal. They already had Wilden on the hook. If they could find who he was working with they could put an end to everything.

Emily asked for the weekend off. Toby was happy to oblige. The boys had really been picking up the slack around the gym since they’d gotten confirmation of her pregnancy. Emily didn’t like being treated any differently, but she couldn’t exactly argue.

Friday after school let out Emily went home, unprepared for the battle of resistance she would get from her parents about her latest decision. She’d been thinking a lot about New York. Not just because of her current circumstances, but because of the fact that it could potentially be her future.

She told her parents that she was taking Alison north for the weekend so they could get a feel for the city. She mentioned they might look at jobs and housing. She did _not_ mention their plans to go upstate.

“New York?” Her father asked, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “Where is this coming from? This is so out of the blue.”

“Not really. It’s been in the back of my mind…”

“Since when?” Her mother looked horrified. “God, the crime statistics alone…”

“Crime happens everywhere.” Emily frowned, trying to keep it from turning into a full blown argument. “Kind of a planetary epidemic. Utopias don’t exist.”

“Of course we don’t expect you to fear living your life. We just want you to think responsibly, not just for your sake, but for the baby’s sake. And New York…it’s not the safest place for young women and a _newborn_.” Her mother made a face like she had smelled something sour.

Emily had to hold in a laugh. She’d been in more danger in the sleepy little town of Rosewood than she had been anywhere else in her entire life.

“You don’t think there are _any_ babies in New York?” Emily argued.

“Don’t be snippy, Emily.” Her mother bit back.

“I’m sorry, but you’re being unreasonable…”

“Hey…” Her father intervened. Emily peered at him. He sighed. He looked exhausted. The worry wrinkles on his forehead made him look decades older. “Don’t disrespect your mother. We’re trying to help you.”

“It’s just a trip. I don’t know anything for sure yet. I don’t understand why you’re freaking out so much. I thought you were going to support me.” She felt betrayed. She expected her mother to complain about it, but her dad had told her that he wanted her to follow her heart.

“Of course we are.” He reached out to touch Emily’s hand, but she pulled it away. He rubbed his brow. The weary expression in his eyes told Emily he’d had a long week at work and he wasn’t in the mood for a family blowout. “You’re not always going to like what we have to say. You have to understand that we see things a little differently. You’re still young, Emmy. There is so much you still don’t know about the world…”

“Then let me learn! That’s why you were trying to push me out in the first place.” Emily felt a heat rising in her chest. “I don’t see what difference it makes _where_ I go as long as I’m out of the house. That’s the whole point of this, isn’t it?”

“Baby, you know that’s not what we’re trying to do.” Her dad was patient, but firm. “Look, I was pissed at my parents for a long time after they made me move out. I hated them, but I look back and now I understand. You’re going to understand one day…”

Emily cut him off with an aggravated breath.

“So you want me out, but you don’t want me to go where _I_ want to go?”

“We want you to be sensible.” Her mother interjected. “I mean, my God, Emily, you’ve barely got a plan. You don’t even have a car-seat yet. You haven’t looked at transportation. You haven’t considered upgrading to something that has seats. Be realistic. Are you going to strap an infant seat on the back of your bike?”

“No, Mom, I thought I’d just tether the baby to the back of the bike with some duct tape and cruise around the most dangerous city in the world while waiting to be stabbed to death.”

Her parents let her bitchy comment slide, though her mother looked like she wanted to slap her.

“There are a lot of things to consider. What about your apartment here? You just signed a six month lease,” her mom said.

“Which I can negate at any time.”

“You’re going to lose money if you do that. And the cost of living in New York isn’t anything like it is here. Even if you’re working housing is going to be expensive, not to mention the costs associated with raising a child. Have you given that any thought?”

“I’ll manage. I’ll get a roommate.”

“You don’t know anyone in New York.” Her mom pointed out.

“I know Alison.”

“Who will be in classes. Who is going to take care of the baby when you’re at work? Are you going to be able to afford childcare?” Her mother had an argument for everything.

“Look, I’m figuring it out, okay?”

“You can’t just uproot your entire life to chase some girl…” Her mother still had a problem calling Alison her girlfriend, and it irked Emily. Pam was trying, and Emily knew that, but it still bothered her. “We’ve put up with this long enough. But this is ridiculous, Emily. You’ve known that girl for _six months_ …”

“She has a name.” Emily scowled at her mother. “ _Alison_. And you might as well get used to it, because she’s going to be in my life. She’s going to be in my child’s life.” Her hands were trembling in anger. She pushed herself to her feet and moved towards the front door. “God, I can’t wait to get out of here.”

Having them poke holes in her dream of making it work with Alison was painfully sobering. She thought they were coming around to the idea of her relationship with Alison. They’d been open and accepting. She didn’t understand why they were trying to belittle her feelings. She was too blinded by hope to understand that they weren’t trying to demean her relationship with Alison. They were concerned about her future.

“Emily…” Her dad stood up to try and follow her.

“Don’t!” Emily exclaimed. She faced her dad, her face hot and red. “You’re as bad as her.” She shot her mother a dirty look. She’d expected better of her father. “I thought you wanted me to follow my heart. I thought you trusted me. But I’ll never be anything more than your problem child that just continuously fucks up…”

“That is _not_ true.” Her dad cut her off. “We love you…”

“You just don’t love my choices.” Emily huffed.

She wasn’t sure why she was so upset. It wasn’t like they were outright refusing to let her make her own choices. They just had a lot to say about it. They always had a lot to say about it. She hated when she got overly-emotional. It just wasn’t _her_. She knew a lot of it was hormones, but the feelings felt intensely insane and it made her feel like she was losing her mind.

“Don’t worry. You won’t have to deal with my choices much longer. I’ll be gone soon.” She snapped.

She paced out of the kitchen and raced towards the front door. Getting away from her house couldn’t come soon enough.

She heard her dad calling out after her, but she didn’t bother to turn around. She slammed the door and paced down the steps. She needed to cool off before she said something she really regretted.

She stormed out to the garage and hopped on her bike. She hadn’t been riding nearly as much lately. Her OB told her that short rides on safe roads were still fine, but it had been too cold to take her bike out most days.

The weather was warm and breezy and the sun was beating down on her. It was the perfect day to take the motorcycle out for a spin. She stuck to the roads close to home and she was very careful about being around other vehicles, especially given she knew that someone was after her.

Being on the bike out on the open road invigorated her senses. Her emotions took a backseat to being in the moment. She could feel everything around her. The wind. The trees. The energy buzzing through the bike.

She stopped at the park and took a walk to cool off. She found a quiet spot on a bench in the warmth of the sun. She closed her eyes and let the sun paint colors behind her eyelids. After a few seconds she opened them back up and took a calming breath.

Her phone buzzed. She assumed it was her parents nagging her for storming out. When she saw Isaac’s name she wasn’t sure how to react. They hadn’t spoken since he’d asked for time last weekend.

**_How are you?_ **

She stared at the screen trying to figure out how to respond. Things felt really weird now that he knew the truth. She typed back,

**_Fighting with the parental units._ **

Three little dots popped up as he responded,

**_Yikes. I know that feeling…_ **

Isaac usually didn’t argue with his mom and dad. He was the kind of guy who walked away and stewed quietly in his rage. Her immediate thought was that he’d blown up at them about keeping his baby a secret and sending Emily away. She’d begged him not to tell them. She was afraid of what they would do.

**_Isaac…you didn’t._ **

**_No. This has nothing to do with…you know._ **

He tiptoed around it, like putting it in writing would damn them both in some way. Emily appreciated it, especially since she didn’t know what was being monitored and by who.

**_They were pissed at me because I got into a huge blowout with Courtney over everything. I didn’t tell them why we were fighting. I had it out with her._ **

He emphasized his anger with several little angry-faced emojis before continuing,

**_After everything she’s done over the years...to me...to you...to everyone, I told her she’s seriously messed up and that she needs help. Told her she needs to get her shit together. She threw a ceramic bowl at my head and screamed at me and threatened to tell everyone in town everything, including mom and dad. She even threatened you. I told her if she even thinks about hurting you I’ll destroy her. She stormed out…being dramatic._ **

An eye roll emoji followed by,

**_She’s staying with one of the girls on the swim team. She’s refusing to come home. Now mom and dad are putting all kinds of pressure on me. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of this._ **

Emily sat there reading and re-reading the message. The part about Courtney threatening her made her nervous. She snapped out of it when her phone buzzed again.

**_I can’t talk to anyone. And it’s killing me. I’ve got so much going on in my head right now. I have some things I need to say, but…it’s too much to text. Would it be okay if I called you?_ **

Emily didn’t wait for him to call her. She felt responsible for everything that was going on back in Texas. She had done so much to screw up his life. She needed to fix what she could. She hit the “call” button.

“Emily?” He asked as he picked up the phone.

“Hey,” she answered.

“Hey.” The sound of his voice was almost too much for her.

“So…” Emily wasn’t sure what to say. “Things are tense there?”

“That’s a word for it.” Isaac huffed darkly. She hated hearing the pain in his tone. “God, the nerve of my sister…” He growled. “I’m so sick of her. It’s one thing to try to bully me, but she tried to bring you and the baby into it…”

“I never meant to cause any problems.”

“You didn’t. She did. The second she started manipulating you…and pushing me around. I’m not going to stand for it anymore. I’m sick and tired of people taking advantage of me and walking all over me…”

“That’s kind of my fault, too…”

“No.” Isaac suddenly realized that he was ranting. “I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just…still reeling from everything. But I know this hasn’t been easy for you either. I get it.” He heaved out a breath. “I hate that you’ve been stressed about this for so long. I hate that you were too scared to just tell me the truth from the beginning. I liked what we had. I liked our friendship. I would have been happy to be whatever you wanted me to be. If you needed me to be your beard you didn’t have to lie about it.”

“Coming out for me…it wasn’t easy.” Emily shuffled her feet against the ground.

“I still would have loved you. And who knows where we would be now?” he asked sadly.

“Yeah…” Emily reached down, her palm brushing her stomach. “Who knows?” She rubbed her belly.

If she had done anything any differently she wouldn’t have her baby. As terrifying as motherhood seemed she couldn’t fathom a world in which her baby didn’t exist. She was starting to lose track of the world before seeing her daughter’s heartbeat…before feeling her first motions. Before the baby nothing else seemed to matter. All she knew was the love that she felt for her child. She wouldn’t take any of it back. Without her relationship with Isaac things would have been very different. She wasn’t sure she could picture any other outcome. She didn’t _want_ to picture any other outcome.

“I…” Isaac’s voice wavered nervously. “I have been trying to understand this whole parenting thing. I don’t know how to feel. I thought by now maybe I’d know what to do, but all this shit with Courtney and my parents…it’s made me realize…my family is so incredibly fucked up. I don’t…I don’t know that I am any better than they are.”

“Don’t talk like that.” Emily felt a twinge of sadness. “You’re an amazing person. You’re not like...” She paused, biting her lip, holding back the insults about his family.

“Not like the rest of my family?” He finished her thought for her. “It’s okay. You can say it. I know how shitty they are. I grew up with them. I’m going to be stuck with them my whole life, whether I want to be or not.”

“You don’t have to be,” Emily said softly. “We’re not tethered to people forever. We can find our own way. Family can be whatever you want it to be.”

“Not for me.” The sting in his words sent a crushing wave of guilt washing over her. “I mean...where do I fit in? Honestly, can you tell me that?”

“Isaac, I...” She fumbled with her words. She didn’t know how to help him.

“It’s okay, Em. I’m not mad. Not at you. Not anymore. I’m too tired to be mad.” He sighed. “Besides...I could never stay mad at you, especially not knowing you were only trying to protect her. I’m just trying to figure out what this means for _me_.”

“What do you want it to mean?”

There was another heavy sigh. She could tell he was conflicted.

“You and I both know I’m not the kind of guy that would abandon my family. But this is…it’s a lifetime commitment. And usually…that’s something that people talk about, right?” He asked. It was a rhetorical question. “We…we never did. We never got to have those conversations. I never knew how you felt…or how I feel, if I’m being perfectly honest. I had all these wild thoughts that made me feel like a terrible person, because I didn’t know anything you were going through. Like…” He cleared his throat and she could hear him rubbing his palms against his jeans, “…early on…did you ever think about getting an abortion?”

The line went silent.

“Emily?”

“I’m still here,” she replied quietly.

“Did you?”

“What would you say if I said yes?” Emily licked her lips nervously.

Another pause on the line.

“That I understand. I wouldn’t have stopped you. But not because I wouldn’t have wanted the baby. You’re the one who ultimately should make that choice for yourself. I wouldn’t have tried to force you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

“Would…” Emily tiptoed around it. “Would you have wanted me to get one?”

Isaac took a few seconds to think about his answer.

“No. But I don’t have any right to tell you what to do. What matters is you. And whatever you wanted to do at the time. I hate to imagine that you were shamed and yelled at just for asking about your options. I would have stood by your side if that’s the route you’d gone.”

Of course he would have. He probably would have held her hand the entire time. Because that’s the kind of guy he was. She knew without a doubt that he would have supported her. It wasn’t an easy decision, but she was glad she’d gone to the clinic to discuss her options. She was also glad that she’d decided to walk out having made the choice that she made.

“I’m glad you didn’t though,” Isaac said. “I’m glad you’re here…that _she’s_ here. And…that you’re happy.” He paused and thought about something. “You _are_ happy, aren’t you?”

It was a question that Emily didn’t want to answer, because she knew that telling him that she was happy would hurt his feelings.

“I am,” she replied. “But just because I’m happy now doesn’t mean I was unhappy before now.” She’d been lost and trapped, but not unhappy. “You made me happy in your own way, too. I want you to know that.”

There had been times that he had made her laugh so hard that she cried. She’d had good times with him.

“I appreciate that.”

“Sometimes I used to wonder if we were to cross paths again what would have happened. With all your scholarships and full rides…you’ve got the open road right in front of you.” It’s the same thing she’d been trying to tell Alison. It’s part of the reason they were going to New York. “We both took entirely different paths. And that’s okay.”

“I had these plans.” His voice sounded distant. “Plans I’d be more than happy to put on hold, but the truth is I don’t know if I should. That’s why I have to know for sure…do you want me involved?”

“Do you _want_ to be involved?”

There was a pause on the line. An uncertainty. Emily could sense it.

“I don’t know.” He hesitated. “I…I want to do the right thing.”

“I know. And I adore you for that. I really do. You’re the most amazing guy I know. But I have to ask…do you want to be involved out of obligation or do you want to be involved because you _want_ to be involved?” The line went silent again. “Isaac?”

“I don’t know.” The honesty was refreshing. “You know how you said that you can’t force yourself to feel certain things?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I get that. I want to love this baby…because I love you. But…I feel like there is this disconnect. And…I’m not saying that I blame you or anything, but…how am I supposed to connect to her? I know you don’t want me to…”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to…”

“It’s just that you and Alison already have.” He replied sadly. Emily didn’t respond. “I get it. We can’t go back. We can’t change anything.” He puffed out a gust of air that turned the line to static for a brief moment. “I don’t know that I _would_ go back. Because…because you seem happy. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

God, he was too good for her. He was always too good for her. If her child was half as kind and as forgiving as he was she would be blessed. If she had his heart it would be a beautiful gift.

“I honestly never thought about having kids. I always thought that was like…a long time away. But I knew that if I ever had them I would have wanted it to be with you. Because I wanted us to be a family. But I know that’s not what this is.”

“So…what are you saying?”

“I have no idea.” He admitted. “I think that maybe I just need a little more time to sort my feelings out. You’ve had six months to deal with this. I’ve had six days.”

“That’s fair.”

“I’m thinking that maybe it just hasn’t hit yet. It’s not real yet. And I’m trying to figure out what it all means. I don’t want to screw up what you have with Alison…”

It was something that simultaneously hurt her _and_ soothed her. Her own parents couldn’t accept what she had with Alison, but after having seen them together for five minutes, Isaac could see it. He knew what they had was special.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Em. Because I know what it feels like to be hurt.”

“I’m sor…”

“Don’t. No more apologies, okay? We’re here now. And we just have to figure out what that means for the baby. You said you wanted what’s best for her. And I get that. But I don’t know for sure yet,” he said. “Until I _do_ know…would it be too much to ask for updates?”

“Not at all.” All things considered, it was beyond fair.

Emily told him a few things about the pregnancy he’d missed. Cravings and doctor’s visits. How big the baby was and about some of her movements. Isaac listened curiously, but he didn’t have much to say. Emily could feel the disconnect that he was talking about. She didn’t blame him for it.

Strangely, the conversation took a bit of weight off of Emily’s shoulders. After they were finished talking she sat in silence for a few minutes before heading back to the parking lot.

She felt oddly calm. Her head was starting to feel clear again. She slipped her sunglasses on and looked up through the trees at the sky contemplating the complexities of the universe. When she climbed on to her bike the muddled dissent of her thoughts faded away.

* * *

She stopped at the gym on her way home. She wanted to make sure they were all set for the weekend. She’d picked up some deli sandwiches for them to thank them for covering for her.

She parked her bike next to Toby’s and then walked inside with the hoagies in one hand and her bike helmet in her other hand.

There were a few people spread out, but it wasn’t very busy. Toby was behind the desk. Jake was sitting on the counter chatting with him. He waved when he saw her coming.

“What’up, Laila Ali?” Jake’s eyes got wide in excitement when he saw the wrapped subs in her hands. “Ohhh, is that from _Antonella’s_?”

“Only the best for my boys.” Emily smiled.

“Em, you didn’t have to do that.” Toby shook his head with a laugh.

“Hey, you shut up, Cavanaugh. It’s _Antonella’s_!” Jake took the wrapped sandwich from Emily when she offered it to him. “You’re the best.” He looked like a kid getting a present on Christmas.

“I got a veggie wrap for Ezra. Is he around?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, I think I saw him heading towards the equipment room. I’ll take him his rabbit food.” Jake hopped off of the counter, reaching for Ezra’s wrap.

He had a lot of pep in his step as he bounced away.

“I think you just made his entire year.” Toby chuckled.

“I really wanted to thank you all for covering again this weekend, especially since I had last weekend off, too.” Emily handed Toby his sandwich.

“We got you. It’s no problem.” Toby waved it off.

As they were talking Emily saw Noel walking across the gym. He was drenched from his workout. His eyes were glued to his phone. He looked up long enough to glance at Toby and Emily. Then he slowly walked away.

“He’s such an ass.” Toby grumbled under his breath. “I’ve been looking for a reason to get him banned. It would be my great honor to fire him as a client.”

“I prefer having him somewhere that I can watch him.” Emily admitted. “What’s that whole bit about studying your enemy?” She put her helmet down on the counter.

Toby looked at the helmet. He was surprised she was still riding.

“Still playing _Sons of Anarchy_ I see. Gonna bring down some biker justice on him?”

“Maybe.” Emily glanced outside at her bike.

Toby looked around to make sure there was no one within earshot and then looked back at Emily.

“That kid is going to come out of you wearing combat boots and a motorcycle helmet.”

“I sincerely hope not, because…ow.” Emily made a face.

“I’m just saying…there is no world in which something _you_ create isn’t a badass. If you ever need a sitter let me know.”

“You’re going to be the babysitter who builds a rock-climbing wall for my toddler, aren’t you?”

Toby grinned.

“I’ll make her wear protective gear,” he replied innocently.

Emily laughed. Her face morphed into a genuine expression of appreciation.

“Thank you for not being weird about everything.”

“You’re still Emily.” He shrugged. “You’ll always just be Emily to me. No matter what.”

“Awww. And you’ll always be the same old Toby that nearly knocked himself out with a rebound when we were toddlers.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” He rolled his eyes with a sheepish laugh.

“Not until my dying day.”

Toby leaned forward, putting his elbows on the counter. He played with the paper wrap on his sandwich. It crinkled beneath his fingers. He fidgeted for a few seconds before he looked up at her.

“So…what’s this road trip about? Are you really thinking about moving?”

The question left a sour taste in her mouth because of her parents’ reaction. She wasn’t sure _what_ she wanted to do yet, but she didn’t like their negativity.

She’d rehearsed what to say to her mom and dad, but she’d considered telling her friends the real reason they were going to the big city. As she looked into Toby’s curious baby blues she felt the truth getting ready to slip off the tip of her tongue.

It had occurred to her that they could be putting themselves in danger. After all, the trip was about catching a predator. The thought had crossed her mind to build an army to go with them, but she knew that would make them look more conspicuous. They needed to blend in. She knew that visiting NYU would be the perfect cover.

“I’m doing it for Alison.” Emily traced her index finger across her helmet.

For more than one reason. The first and most important thing was to get this stalker out of the way. But she also thought that going to the city might spark the traveling artist in Alison’s heart and change her mind about going to school there.

They were staying in the city overnight and were planning a day trip to upstate in the morning. The trip from the city to Buffalo was almost a four hour drive. They planned to spend most of the day there.

“She wants to turn down NYU for me. I don’t want her to.”

“Classic ‘For the Girl I Love’ trope.” Toby poked her arm. “I’ve got me one of those, too. Spencer got into Yale _and_ Brown.”

“Damn.” Emily nodded, impressed. “Good for her.”

“She’s still very go-go-go with everything. She has me doing this French film festival with her this weekend. And in between films I’m helping her study for her debate next week.” He shook his head with a laugh. “Women. Am I right?”

Emily laughed. She shoved Toby’s food towards him and ordered him to eat in a very motherly way. Toby smiled crookedly when he heard her tone of voice.

She went to the locker room to grab a few things from her locker. The door code had been changed after the steam room incident.

There were two girls in the room chatting about their daily sprint times, so Emily didn’t feel so alone. She’d been back in the locker room several times since being locked in the steam room. It wasn’t easy, but she was someone who always jumped headfirst into her fears.

Emily glanced at her phone. Caleb had installed an app that alerted her any time a motion sensor she’d placed inside her locker had been activated. It was just an added security measure to make sure no one was still snooping. It helped that Toby had been adamant about making sure that Ezra had been vigilant about replacing all the key cards and the codes to get into the locker rooms. He had also added an extra emergency shut off to the steam room inside the room.

Emily dug through her locker until she pulled out what she’d come for. She’d left her phone charger on her last shift and didn’t want to go to New York without it. She wrapped the charger up and put it in her leather jacket.

Just as she was getting ready to close the door she saw a glint of something that caught her eye. Near the edge of the front corner of her locker there was a tiny diamond encrusted piece of jewelry. When she picked it up she realized it looked like a broken letter.

An “N”.

It didn’t take her long to realize where she’d seen it before. Noel Kahn had a watch that his dad had gotten for him at the start of the school year. It had his initials on it.

Emily spun around and looked at the steam room. She felt a rising fury in her body. Noel Kahn had been in her locker. He’d locked her in the sauna and left her to die.

Emily slammed her locker and raced out of the room. She stormed up to the front desk. She marched behind the counter and reached for the safe where they kept the key cards for all the rooms. She punched in the code and opened the safe, grabbing the key card for the men’s locker room.

“Uh…what’cha doing?” Toby peered away from the computer. “You know you’re not on duty, right?”

“I need to take care of something.” Emily spun around so he wouldn’t see the murderous look on her face. “It’ll just take a minute.”

Before Toby could question her she was walking towards the men’s locker room. Normally there was an announcement before a staff member came in to tidy up, but Emily wasn’t there to clean...and she didn’t care who she ran into.

Fortunately there were only three guys in the room. One was in a towel yammering about sports. Another was pulling a hoodie on over his head that matched his sweatpants. Noel was in the center of it, rubbing a towel against his damp head. He had on a white wife-beater and a pair of shorts.

The boy in the towel was the first one to spot her. She knew him from school. One of Noel’s buddies. Ben Coogan. He blocked her path.

“Ah, looks like a wandering stray found her way in here. Mating season must be upon us. Guess we’re simply irresistible to some bitches.” He leaned against the lockers and towered over her. He winked at her.

“You might want to get out of my way before I break your _bone_ in half.” Emily didn’t budge.

“Oooh, kinky. You like it rough, then?” He looked her up and down, licking his lips, liking what he saw. “You’re clearly into fitness. How ‘bout we test that? I’d love to see you fittin’ this in your mouth.” He grabbed his junk through his towel.

The boy in the sweats laughed.

“Nice one, dude.”

Noel glared at both of them.

“Coogan, don’t be a dick.” Noel warned. He was surprised to see Emily, but he was trying to play it cool.

“Get out.” Emily warned Ben and the other boy.

“Why don’t you make me?” Ben inched closer to her.

Emily didn’t hesitate. Her arm shot out as she reached forward and grabbed him by the crotch, twisting and digging her nails into the bulge popping out of his thin towel.

Ben squealed and almost fell to his knees as he let out a pained gurgle.

“Oh, do I have your attention now?” Emily asked calmly, like she wasn’t using his junk like a choke chain on a dog.

He nodded his head furiously.

“Good. I’m not going to tell you again.” She leaned forward as she increased the pressure on her hold. Ben squeaked out a cry. “Do you need me to lead the way?”

Ben shook his head, begging for her to let go.

“Good boy.” She pat his head with her free hand.

When she let go he heaved a sigh of relief. His hands automatically shot to his groin area. He doubled over as he stumbled towards the door, still in his towel.

“Coogan!” Noel called after him.

Ben turned around and Noel tossed a pair of pants at his head. He grasped them and raced out of the room.

The other boy looked between Emily and the door. He held his hands up in submission and walked by her without saying a word.

She walked over to where Noel was standing.

“You’re cutthroat, Fields.” He tossed his wet towel down against the bench. “You might want to be careful though. Can’t be a good idea to instigate fights in _your_ condition.”

Emily didn’t say a word. She slammed him against the lockers.

“What the hell?” His back crashed against the metal with a hard clunky sound. “Are you crazy?”

Emily put her arm up against his windpipe.

“I know you’re the one who locked me in the steam room.”

“What are you talking about?” He tried to push her away, though he was careful about his retaliation.

She saw his hesitation. He didn’t fight back very much. He couldn’t, not knowing about the baby. Emily cocked her head curiously. He could have hurt her if he wanted to, yet he just let her hold him against the lockers. She gently let up on the pressure.

She held up the broken fragment of his watch.

“Care to explain how _this_ got into my locker?” Emily asked.

“Oh.” Noel’s eyes widened. “Shit.”

“You could have killed me. And my baby.”

“I swear I didn’t…I just…” He glanced at the necklace around Emily’s neck. She had no idea what he’d actually done that day. “I just…”

“You just _what_?”

“Okay, yes…I broke into your locker. Wilden wanted to know what you knew. I found that paperwork.”

He held back the rest. He held back the fact that he’d been blackmailed into putting a tracking device in the bracelet that Emily had gotten Alison for Valentine’s Day.

“I just took the paperwork. That’s _it_. I swear. I didn’t even know you were there. I don’t know who locked you in. I was leaving when I heard you shouting for help. I went to go get you out, but then I realized what it would look like if I was the one who pulled you out. I wasn’t supposed to have access to the girl’s locker room. I knew it would come back on me. I would have looked guilty as hell.”

“You _are_ guilty as hell! You just _left_ me there!” Emily’s nostrils flared.

She thought she was going to die that day. She thought she was going to lose her baby.

“I went to find help.”

“Why didn’t you just unblock the door?”

“I didn’t go towards the steam room at all. I was afraid you’d see me through the window.”

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Emily shook her head, biting an angry growl through her teeth.

“You think I _wanted_ to help Wilden? I didn’t have a choice. You’re not the only one with secrets, Emily. He threatened me. He has proof that I’m using.” Noel frowned. “If word gets out about the steroids…”

“I’m going to plaster it on the front fucking page of every newspaper in town unless you tell me everything you know.”

“I’ve already given you what I got. I swear.” He looked at her desperately.

“Who is it? Who is helping him? And why?”

“Blood is thicker than water, I guess. Whoever he was looking for apparently doesn’t want _you_ to find them. I’m guessing whoever is on the papers I gave him is your mystery person.”

“He has friends in New York. Where are they? Where do they live?”

“How should I know?” But the look in his eyes told Emily that he knew more than he was letting on.

“I’m going to send proof to _every_ scout interested in you that you’re so pumped full of gym candy juice that you’ve got bigger breasts than a Hollywood washout and a pixie dick with balls the size of raisins.”

Noel reached for his locker, but Emily smacked his hand away and slammed him against the metal structure again.

“Would you quit that?” He grumbled.

He reached for the locker again. Emily let him this time. She kept a watchful eye on him as he ruffled through some things. He pulled out a scrap piece of paper and a pen.

“I don’t know if this is related, but he had me send something to this PO Box in Buffalo one time.”

He grabbed his phone and started scrolling through it until he found what he was looking for. He scribbled on the paper and then handed it to Emily.

Emily looked at the address. It wasn’t a home address, but it could probably lead them to where they needed to go, especially now that they had the information about the vehicle registration.

“How do I know you aren’t setting me up?” Emily flipped the paper over in her hand.

“You came in here hunting _me_ , remember?”

“For all I know leaving this in my locker was part of the trap.” Emily flipped the broken watch piece over in her hand.

“You really think I’m that smart?” Noel scoffed. Emily stared at him in response. He sighed. “Look, Em…”

“ _Don’t_ call me that. You don’t get to act like we’re friends.”

“I meant what I said. You need to be careful.” His eyes darted to her stomach. He seemed to genuinely mean it.

Emily opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by the locker room door closing and the sound of approaching footsteps. A few seconds later Toby walked into view. He saw Emily and Noel. He narrowed his eyes, honing in on Noel.

“Everything okay in here?” Toby puffed his chest out and crossed his arms, glaring at Noel.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “Yeah, we’re good. Just returning something that Noel lost.” She dropped the broken piece of his watch into his hand.

“Oh?” Toby asked curiously. “Was it his dignity?”

Emily flashed Toby a smile. She put the address in her pocket and turned towards Toby. He hovered over her protectively, even though he knew she could take care of herself.

Noel watched them go, torn between speaking up or staying silent. He knew if he breathed one word of it his ass would be on the line. He grumbled in frustration, spinning around and slamming his locker closed. He let out a growl and slammed his fist against the metal.

Emily and Toby heard it in the distance as they walked towards the front desk. Toby faced her.

“You good?” he asked.

“Yeah. Getting ready to take off.” Emily nodded, trying to stay cool.

“Cool. I’ve got to get back on the floor out there. Ben Coogan has been asking for an icepack. He apparently clocked himself in the nuts with a barbell or something.”

Emily had to work to keep from smirking. She fought back a snicker.

“I let him suffer a bit. I like him about as much as I like Noel.” Toby admitted.

“You’re a gem, Toby.” Emily grinned.

“Take it easy, Em. Have a safe trip.”

Emily waved to him as she walked towards the exit. She grabbed her keys and jogged out to her bike.

When she got home she parked her bike in the garage and then sprinted over to Alison’s house. She saw Mr. DiLaurentis’s car in the driveway. She didn’t want anyone to overhear what they were about to talk about.

**_Meet me in the treehouse._ **

Her steps were a little clunkier now that she had some extra weight, but she managed to get to the top without a problem. She walked over to their little star-gazing cot.

She traced her fingers against the pictures on the wall. She’d put them up on Valentine’s Day. There was one new addition. Alison had taped up a selfie of them at the kissing rock. Emily smiled and trailed her fingers across the edges.

A few minutes later she heard huffs and grunts as Alison scaled the tree, her footsteps heavy against the steps. Emily was there to meet her and help her up into the structure. She stumbled into Emily’s arms and they both smiled. Alison leaned forward and pecked her lips.

“Heard you take off on your bike like an hour ago. Where did you go?”

“Had to pick up my phone charger from the gym,” Emily said. “Are you packed?”

“Ready when you are.” Alison nodded with a smile.

“What did your parents say?”

“I don’t think they even heard me when I told them I’m going out of state for the weekend.” She rolled her eyes. “I got a _‘sounds nice’_ from my mom, but she kept walking by like I told her I’m just running to the store or something. What about your parents?”

Emily frowned, gritting her teeth.

“They were less than enthused.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Emily wanted to spare Alison the details, because she didn’t want her to know that her parents were sniping about their relationship. “We’ve got bigger things on the agenda.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the scrap paper that Noel had written the PO Box down on. “I got an address in Buffalo…kind of. It’s a PO Box. Noel said Wilden had him send something there.”

“Fucking Noel.” Alison growled.

“Wilden has been blackmailing him. He’s the one who stole the DNA stuff from my locker.”

Alison’s right eye twitched. She pinched her mouth together in a frown. Her cheeks turned pink.

“He’s the one who locked you in the steam room?”

Emily could see the murderous rage in her eyes. She was a step away from going on a rampage.

“He swears it wasn’t him. And I think I actually believe him.”

The look on his face had told Emily a lot. He had seemed so torn. There had been a brief moment where she’d felt sympathy for him. She knew what it was like to have someone holding a secret over her head.

“He still deserves a swift kick in the nuts.” Alison scowled.

“One thing at a time.” Emily put a calming hand against Alison’s arm.

“Have you looked up the PO Box yet?”

“Not yet. I was thinking it might be better to go in person. If I start digging around it might ping the psycho on the other end of the screen. I want to do this carefully. I don’t want to let the welcome wagon know we’re coming.” She stared at the paper, memorizing it just in case something happened to the written proof.

“ _Welcome wagon_?” Alison snickered. “There’s that Texas drawl I’ve been waiting all these months for.” She teased. She leaned into Emily. “We should just skip the city and head uptown. Lace the PO Box with anthrax or ricin or something.”

“Damn, you just went from Uptown Girl to Backwoods Psycho.” Emily wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or intimidated.

“This person has been sending you messages for months. I want to send one back. _‘Mess with my girl and die’_.” Her face was a stony resolve of determination.

“That’s a very clear message. You’ve already got the New York spirit in you.” Emily smiled. “It’s probably best to make reservations somewhere close to campus. It’s easier to blend in when you’re in a crowd.”

“I’ll call the reservations in to Washington Square Hotel.”

“…with aliases.” Emily added.

“Look at you going all _military_.” Alison rubbed her arm with a seductive smile. “I love it. It’s really sexy.” Her eyes darted to the cot on the floor.

Emily saw the look in her eyes and she knew exactly what was on Alison’s mind. The blonde wore her desire all over her face.

“We need to focus.” She put her fingers against Alison’s cheek and moved her head so they were facing each other again. “I’ll see if I can find a cheap rental car. It’s best to go incognito.”

“We can take my dad’s company car.”

“You think he’d be okay with that?”

“He hasn’t used it in like two years.” Alison shrugged. “He just brought it home to show what a big man he thinks he is.”

She didn’t say the rest of what she was thinking, _“Because my brother and I weren’t enough for him...”_

She did her best to hide her emotions, but there was an undertone of sadness in her voice. Emily could see a glimpse of Alison’s childhood every time she talked about her parents. There was a heavy loneliness in her eyes that she couldn’t hide.

Emily reached out to comfort her, embracing her. Alison smiled softly as she fell into her arms. Emily was her safe place. Her home. And nothing could get to her when she was in the brunette’s presence.

“I really hate that they don’t give a shit. I shouldn’t care. But I do.” Alison’s jaw tensed.

She hated that her parents made her feel like a scared kid. She hated that they made her feel vulnerable. She pushed her body closer to Emily’s. Her warmth was magnetic.

Emily thought about what she’d told Isaac earlier. She’d meant what she’d said about being able to escape from the life that you didn’t want and surge forward to a life waiting for you. It’s another reason why the trip was so important. It was about creating a life for them free of trauma and torture. It was about getting away from who they were expected to be and becoming who they were _meant_ to be. It was about _their_ family.

“It’s not forever, Ali.” Emily kissed the top of her head. Her hand grazed the blonde’s back. “They don’t have to be your forever.”

“I know.” Alison peered at her through her watery eyes, smiling at her. “ _You’re_ my forever.”

Emily smiled back. She was determined to make a better life for them.

The first step in securing that life was to ward off the danger and stop the person threatening them. After they decided on what they were going to do they both went home to grab their things.

Emily dreaded facing her parents. She was still so angry at them for making light of her relationship with Alison. They had no idea how serious things were between them. They had no idea how much she loved her.

She considered climbing the trellis and sneaking in to get her stuff before sneaking back out, but she realized she was being childish. She quietly tiptoed through the front door. She expected her mother to be in the kitchen getting ready for dinner, but she didn’t hear any noise.

She walked past the living room and up the stairs. She made a mad dash towards her room, thinking maybe she could get out fast enough without having to face her parents again.

She grabbed her things and made a pit stop in the bathroom. Then she quietly walked down the stairs. She walked past the living room on the way to the foyer.

She saw her mother sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Emily realized it was too late to dart through the foyer and out the front door. Her mother’s eyes drifted away from the magazine and over to her. They were both silent for several seconds.

“Hey.” Emily uttered under her breath. “Where’s dad?”

“He’s on third shift tonight. He was exhausted, so he’s getting some sleep.”

Emily nodded, pressing her lips together, trying not to let her irritation show.

“So…I’m going.” Emily slung her bag over her shoulder.

Her mother knew she couldn’t stop her. She wanted to run over and tackle her and force her to stay. She wanted to keep her safe forever. But she knew it was an impossibility. Her little girl was growing up. And she couldn’t stop it. It was one of the downsides of motherhood. She’d held Emily’s chubby little hand when she took her first steps. That little girl had let go of her hand years ago. Now her little baby was walking on her own and she didn’t need her hand to guide her anymore. It was everything a mother dreamed of _and_ feared. To raise children to be fearless and independent. The hardest part of motherhood was watching her walk out the door without her.

“Be careful.” She turned back towards her magazine.

The room in the air felt chilly. Emily hated to leave in the middle of an argument, but she had bigger things to worry about. She was only able to shake her residual nerves off when she was behind the wheel of the car. Once they were on the way to New York it hit her that they might be able to stop the torment they were enduring once and for all.

She had one hand on the wheel and the other resting against the center console. Alison reached over without a word and put her hand on top of Emily’s. Emily glanced at her with a smile on her face.

The plan was slowly coming together. They felt like they were finally on the right track. They didn’t know that things were going to go horribly wrong. The last thing they expected was for their weekend to end in tragedy.

* * *

The city was every bit as bright and bustling as Alison had described it. It had been years since Emily had seen New York City. The last time she’d been there was on a layover flight and she hadn’t had a chance to explore.

She made Alison show her the NYU campus and then they did a little bit of sightseeing and had dinner together. Emily wanted Alison’s feelings about her dream city to resurface. She wanted Alison to show her everything that made her love New York. And Alison did.

They managed to stay below the radar. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter how well they were hiding. Because Alison’s bracelet and Emily’s necklace were shining beacons of lights that put huge red targets on their backs.

As they were enjoying their dining experience, a camera phone clicked from across the restaurant.

Wilden wasn’t supposed to leave Rosewood, but the second he saw that Alison and Emily were on their way to New York he borrowed a friend’s car and cruised along behind them. His calls had been going unanswered. It was starting to annoy him. He attached the image to a message stating,

**_We have a problem._ **

He followed them around, slinking in the shadows. He heard them talking about college and the city. There was no mention of tracking down the people threatening them. But of course they wouldn’t mention that out in the open. They were too smart for that. He knew it was a ruse. He knew they’d come for more than one reason.

New York was an easy city to blend in to. Getting lost in the crowd worked very well in his favor. Every so often he saw them scanning the crowd, presumably checking to see if they were being followed. But he was quick on his feet and he was stealthy when it came to hiding.

They didn’t see him when Alison took Emily to her favorite shopping district. They didn’t see him when they stopped and gushed about the _Hamilton_ marquee lighting up the night sky. They didn’t see him when they disappeared back into their hotel.

The city had breathed new life into them. They’d barely made it through their hotel room door before Alison pounced on Emily, backing her against the wall. She reached for the “do not disturb sign” and hung it on the door knob before letting it slam closed.

She pinned Emily to the wall, kissing and nipping at her skin. Their hands explored each other’s bodies for several minutes before Emily led them back to the bed.

They couldn’t undress one another fast enough. Alison’s skirt ended up across the room. Her underwear were thrown so wildly that they ended up hooked on a picture frame overhanging the bed. Emily’s pants and shirt were tossed aside landing on a chair next to the window. The rest of their clothes were scattered all over the room as they twirled around the bed snatching fabric and yanking it free.

Emily knew part of their excitement was being so close to getting answers and putting an end to the drama in their lives, but she also knew that Alison’s love for the city life was arousing her senses in more than one way.

It was like the energy of New York was buzzing through their veins. They hadn’t forgotten about the looming danger, but the threat of the unknown added a sense of urgency and excitement to their motions. Every moment mattered. They wanted to seize what they had while they had it.

Emily kissed Alison with a driving power that made Alison’s entire body shudder in response. She kissed back, her tongue rolling against Emily’s. Emily never broke their kiss as she grasped the comforter and pulled it away from the bed. She gripped Alison’s hips and spun her around and then pushed her on to the bed with a sheer amount of desperate force so hard that Alison’s back sprang up off of the mattress before she crawled back and pulled Emily down on top of her.

Emily’s baby bump made it difficult for their bodies to completely connect, so they rolled to their sides. Alison hadn’t told Emily, but she’d been reading up on pregnancy sex and the best way to make it work. She surprised the brunette with how well-versed she was in making sure their pleasure was perfect.

Alison took her time. She was toying with her, enjoying her every needy breath. She knew all the tricks to trigger her body’s sensitivity.

Emily was easily able to reciprocate. She knew how to drive Alison to the brink. They each tried to outlast each other. Alison could feel Emily’s tension. She could feel how close she was, yet she pulled back at the last second every time. After the third time Emily felt like her entire body was going to explode.

“Stop teasing.” Emily growled, biting down on Alison’s lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. She felt her body pulsing in desire. She huffed a heavy breath out, quietly groaning. “I swear if I don’t get some relief soon…”

Alison grinned, kissing her bruised lips. She gently rolled Emily on to her back and straddled her thighs.

“I’ve got you, mama.” She winked.

She kissed her way down to her belly, barely giving Emily enough time to resonate a touch so delicate that it was like a feather tickling her skin.

“Ali…” Emily peered down at her, her chest rapidly rising and falling.

Alison had a mischievous glint in her eyes. The city had brought out something wild and untapped in her.

“Relax. Let me take the lead for once.” Alison pressed a kiss against her baby bump.

She moved down and pressed another kiss against her pelvis. She went lower. Emily closed her eyes and just let herself feel.

The teasing had been well worth the wait. Alison took her to heights so high that Emily wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to come down from them. She felt herself falling, spinning, drifting…all at once.

She didn’t realize she was nearly ripping the sheets, twisting her fingers and gripping the linen…just holding on to something so she didn’t completely drift away. She didn’t realize how loud she was. She didn’t realize that the entire hotel would probably know Alison’s name by morning. She was too wrapped up in the moment to care.

Everything felt more intense. Every kiss. Every stroke. Every motion. Her body was so tender that she could barely stand it. The new surroundings created an entirely new atmosphere. Exciting chaotic energy gripped her in its clutches.

Alison watched as she floated in a state of bliss. She left imprints of gentle kisses against her body like little cool bursts of air soothing the fire she’d created. She crawled up next to her, wiping her long dark tresses of sweaty hair away from her face.

Emily opened her eyes. Her soft brown irises darkened in lust as they met the fiery passion in the blonde’s piercing blue eyes. She wordlessly rolled to her side, pressing a kiss against Alison’s bare shoulder, then her neck. Their lips met as Emily felt a burst of energy giving her a second wind.

“My turn.” Emily gripped the back of her neck, kissing her forehead as she gently rolled Alison on to her back.

Everything about Emily’s movements were so perfect and so precise. Alison couldn’t help but think about one of the first conversations they’d had when Emily got back to town.

_“So you’re good with your hands?”_

She was _beyond_ good. Her hands were smooth and strong. Alison knew they were tough enough to rip apart a bike and put it back together again, yet delicate and nimble enough to carefully cradle a newborn. And if her hands were the essence of her character, her lips were the window to her beauty…the driving force behind everything that made her so addicting.

She was so multifaceted, both emotionally and physically. The duality of her persona was laid bare every time they were making love. It didn’t take much for Alison to lose control when they were together.

She felt like she was floating in a sea with warm waves rolling over her. Emily’s touch turned her into a different version of herself…a version that she wanted to be permanent. She let it wash over her. She let Emily take control. Her soul felt complete.

She’d barely slipped above the surface again to breathe when she felt Emily gently tugging her body down the mattress. Alison looked down at her, her eyes still flickering, her body still recuperating.

Emily smiled seductively at her as she pulled her legs towards the edge of the bed.

“I want to try something.” Emily leaned down.

She invited her to move her thighs over her shoulders, which Alison complied with. She would have done anything Emily asked her to do. She was malleable clay in the brunette’s hands.

Just as Alison was regaining her composure…she felt a surge charging through her body again. Emily’s mouth and tongue did things that Alison didn’t know were humanly possible. She dug her fingers into the sheets, losing control all over again as she squeezed her thighs together, her hot skin pressing against Emily’s sweaty cheeks.

Her vision went hazy. New York had brought out an even wilder side in Emily than she was used to.

It was only when she stopped seeing stars that she realized that Emily had crawled up next to her. She panted heavily against Emily’s hand as the brunette wiped away some of the perspiration that had built up on her face. Emily dragged her index finger lightly against Alison’s lips. Alison pressed a gentle kiss against her fingertip.

“Where did you learn how to do that?” Alison moved on to her side and collapsed against Emily’s hot flesh.

Emily flashed a curious look at her.

“Do you _really_ want to know?”

Alison slowly shook her head, reaching up to grip her chin and pulling her face down so their lips could meet for a slow sensual kiss. She felt Emily’s fingertips against her cheek and she smiled into their embrace.

Their eyes met. Emily cupped Alison’s cheek and the blonde felt a strange flush in her cheeks as she bashfully looked away. Intimacy was so strange. Normally, Alison had no problem getting wild in the bedroom, but afterwards she felt mushy and sentimental, and she still hadn’t learned how to deal with it. So she said the only three words that had been running through her mind since the start of their encounter.

“I love you.” Her lips twitched into a sweet smile.

Emily kissed the top of her head, taking a moment to inhale the scent of her body.

“I love you, too.” Emily ran her hand down Alison’s slick backside. “So much.”

Those were the only words that needed to be said. They just wanted to soak in their happiness. The silence was their time to connect in their favorite way. The physical acts always felt amazing, but it was the emotional aspect of connecting with one another so deeply that they could _feel_ each another that made it so meaningful. It laid a quiet truth bare. It was the expression of love, of safety, a quiet conversation their bodies and souls shared.

They had come to New York for a reason, and they hadn’t forgotten that reason. But they had the night to be together...to just enjoy each other’s presence without reservations and boundaries.

So they didn’t talk about the impending trip to Buffalo. Instead, they spent all night exploring different avenues of passion. It exhausted and exhilarated them. Alison felt something in her stir to life being in the city. But she also thought about the more quiet and sensual moments they shared back in Rosewood. It hit her that she didn’t care where in the world they were...she just loved being with Emily.

After they finally got everything out of their system they laid in bed, cuddling. Emily was strumming her fingers against Alison’s fingertips, playing with them. She glanced at the blonde. She always looked so beautiful bathing in the afterglow. She smiled at Alison and Alison smiled back. She saw a spark in Emily’s eyes.

“What?” Alison asked innocently.

“New York looks good on you.” Emily kissed her cheek.

“Only because you’re here.” Alison reached up and played with Emily’s tangled hair.

“I’m serious, Ali. You light up here like I’ve never seen before.” There was something different about Alison in the city.

She had always been assertive and demanding and unafraid of going after what she wanted, but it was amplified when she got out of the constraints of Rosewood. It’s how Emily had felt after she got out of San Antonio. She’d felt free.

Alison saw the way that Emily was looking at her. Before the brunette could launch into a spokesperson for NYU Alison dive-bombed her with a sneak attack kiss-fest. She had become an expert at distracting her girlfriend. She held a lengthy kiss against her lips as she traced her fingertips against her jaw.

“Want to go again?” Alison pulled back, her brows dancing mischievously.

“ _Again_?” Emily laughed. “And they say pregnant women are the horny ones…”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Don’t want to push it…”

“Now hold on. I didn’t say ‘no’.” Emily touched the blonde’s taut stomach, her fingers slowly drifting lower.

Alison grinned.

 _Conversation about NYU diverted_.

And she was getting extra love-making out of it. It was a win-win.

Alison crashed afterwards. Emily held her, peering at her occasionally, watching her eyelids flicker and her mouth twitch.

She reached for her phone. She didn’t want to forget to set an alarm. She’d put her phone on silent after they had checked in at the hotel because she kept getting texts from her mother, who was bombarding her with messages checking in on her. She had only sent a reply to the first one.

She scrolled through the messages. Her mother didn’t like texting, so it was clear she had a lot on her mind that she needed to say. Emily felt like a bitch for ignoring her, but she was dealing with too much to juggle her antsy parents.

She glanced at the most recent text she had, which was from her dad,

**_Call your mother. She’s worried._ **

It was too late to call her. She set a reminder to text her in the morning to let her know she hadn’t been murdered horribly.

It’s the first thing she did in the morning when the alarm went off.

**_Sightseeing today. Everything is going great. No murderers. I promise._ **

Alison groaned and shoved a pillow over her head when she felt Emily stirring. She was unwilling to leave the comfort of the bed. Emily tossed her phone down. She leaned over and peppered Alison’s shoulder with kisses and touched her bare stomach.

“Come on, Sleeping Beauty, we came here for you to get into a fight with a psycho-bitch, remember?” Emily poked her arm.

Alison mumbled out a tired garbled response from beneath the pillow. Something about a sex coma.

“We can save time by showering together...” Emily offered, moving down to place kisses against Alison’s chest as she walked her fingers up Alison’s ribs.

Alison lifted the pillow and smiled at her. It was enough incentive to get her out of bed. Emily tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the bathroom. It was a routine she could definitely get used to.

The shower was a little cramped, but they didn’t mind the close proximity. The water pelted their skin as they moved beneath the showerhead. Water trickled down their nude frames, their eyes meeting every few seconds with a bright eager anticipation. Being completely exposed in every way was a foreign concept to both of them. There was a thin line between lust and love, and they were starting to understand that what they felt for one another was beyond physical attraction.

They’d been with other people. They’d been together. But they’d never explored one another in quite this way before. They were looking at each other in the light of day with no barriers. Every blemish. Every scar. Every vulnerability. It was as if time was slowing down solely for them to memorize every inch of one another.

Alison’s eyes raked over Emily’s constantly-changing shape. She was still buff, even with the extra weight she was carrying. The muscles surrounding her stomach were firm and toned, like a protective shield. Her baby bump was soft and perfectly rounded, the skin flat and smooth. Her legs were long and lean. Alison noticed a freckle on her inner thigh. She reached out and touched the tattoo on her pelvis, her fingertip tracing the cute little leaf there. She drew the pattern of the “A” in the center.

_“A for Alison.”_

Alison smiled, watching as little beads of water bounced off of her protruding stomach. She pressed the tips of her fingers against Emily’s baby bump, flattening her palm against it. She rubbed slow gentle circles, marveling at the fact that there was a beautiful little human inside of her. She felt a subtle movement against her palm and smiled. She delicately pulled her hand back and looked up to meet Emily’s gaze.

The brunette was watching her, a look of adoration in her eyes. She put her hands against Alison’s sides and moved her palms down against her hips. Her eyes scanned Alison’s entire figure. The blonde somehow managed to look more stunning every time she saw her.

She moved one hand away from Alison’s side to touch a tiny beauty mark near the top of her hip. Her skin was smooth and unblemished except for one small scar on her right thigh that she’d gotten by accidentally jabbing herself with her mother’s eyelash curler when she was three. Emily ran her fingertip across the little bump and then touched her hip again. After a few seconds her hands fell away.

Alison turned around to grab her body wash. She squirted a generous amount in her hand and then lathered herself up as Emily watched. She moved around under the pulsing water. She felt Emily’s hands against her shoulders and she twisted her neck to look back at her.

Emily gently lathered up her back, massaging her tension away. She ran her fingertips along her spine, drawing circles as she rubbed up and down. She pushed Alison’s hair aside and kissed the back of her neck.

As the water washed the soap away Alison turned around. She twirled her fingers, motioning for Emily to turn around so she could repay the favor. She started with Emily’s shoulders and worked her way down.

Emily arched her back. Alison’s fingertips were like heaven against her muscles. The weight on her front end was constantly putting strain on her back. Alison worked the kinks out, slowly unraveling knots underneath her skin with gentle direct pressure. She rubbed circles against her sides and slid her palms over the front of her stomach. She couldn’t get enough of touching her. She couldn’t get enough of connecting with her...and with the baby.

Emily turned around and moved forward, wrapping her arms around Alison’s waist. Alison reached up and curled her arms around Emily’s neck, pulling her forward so their lips could meet underneath the rushing water. Emily pulled back and dipped her head forward until their foreheads met. She reached up to cradle her cheek. Alison leaned in to her touch.

They took turns using the stream of water to shampoo and condition their hair. When they were finished they climbed out of the shower, trading smiles as they took turns drying their hair and putting on their clothes. It was strange and domestic, but at the same time it felt right.

After they ate breakfast they set out on their trip to Buffalo. And while they were getting closer to the truth, Wilden was climbing out of bed a few miles away at an apartment he used to frequent. He kept his eye on the tracking app, which showed that they were still at the hotel…or so he thought.

He was starting to assume that maybe the two of them had just come to New York to explore the sights and get freaky in their hotel room. What he wasn’t privy to was the fact that Alison and Emily hadn’t put their jewelry back on after their crazy night of passion. The necklace and the bracelet were tucked away in Alison’s bag. He didn’t know anything was out of the ordinary. He didn’t know that everything he’d been working towards was about to go down in flames.


	30. Over the Edge

* * *

**Chapter 30:**

**Over the Edge**

6 AM seemed like such an ungodly hour. Alison grumbled about not being a morning person as they climbed in the car, but the complaining came to a screeching halt after she got some coffee in her system.

The drive upstate was peaceful. They watched as the sun came up over the horizon, a burst of colors blooming in the sky. Alison stared at the orange and golden petals stretching into the deeper shades of pink and purple, painting the world in a beautiful light. The night sky transformed into a canvas of light, snuffing out the dark pre-dawn sky, all the darkness in their lives seemingly disappearing with it.

It was close to noon when they finally got to Buffalo. It didn’t take them long to find the PO Box. They stopped long enough to snap a picture for evidence.

Emily knew that in order to get a PO Box the person applying had to fill out a form with their address to prevent fraud. She also knew the address was likely somewhere close to the PO Box. With a little investigative work she managed to find the information in the public records section at the local library. The name had been redacted, but they got a physical address.

As they were walking out of the building in triumph Emily saw Alison smirking at her.

“What?” Emily questioned.

“This Nancy Drew stuff is a sexy look on you.”

She’d seen many sides to Emily since they first met, but ‘problem-solving’ Emily was one of her favorites.

“I knew my years of watching Scooby Doo would pay off one day.” Emily flashed a joking smile at her. She grabbed Alison’s hand as they crossed the parking lot. Emily looked at the map she’d printed out. “Come on. It’s only about a quarter mile from here.”

The Buffalo suburbs were a lot different than New York City. The street was lined with houses that were all in a row and looked identical. They got to the address they were looking for. There was a dark grey car parked in the driveway.

“That’s it.” Alison leaned forward in her seat to get a better look out the window. “That’s the car that I saw with Hanna.”

“The one that you saw red coat get into?” Emily asked.

“Yeah.”

Emily slowed the car to a crawl and peered at it.

“I think it’s the same car that ran me off the road.” Emily’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.

She put a little pressure on the accelerator. They turned a corner to find a small construction site. More houses were being built. Emily parked the car.

“So, how are we going to do this?” Alison reached for her seat belt. “You want to hold or punch?”

Emily reached out and put her arm in front of Alison to stop her from getting out of the car.

“First we have to find out if anyone is there.” Emily picked up her phone.

Alison watched her curiously as she looked up the number for a local restaurant. She called them and put in an order for delivery. She paid through a cash app that couldn’t be traced back to her and then entered the address.

The blonde’s lips twitched. Her attraction to Emily was constantly getting deeper. She had everything handled, and it was the sexiest thing Alison had ever seen.

They found a spot down the street to watch. The delivery came within fifteen minutes. The person pulled up next to the mailbox and then jogged to the door, knocking once. Then twice. Several minutes passed and no one answered. The delivery driver shrugged it off, placing the bag on the doorstep before walking back to the car.

Alison and Emily looked at one another.

“That was genius.” Alison smiled.

“Tactical interference. I learned it from my dad.” Emily reached into the back seat to grab a bag.

She ruffled through it and pulled out a pair of gloves. She handed them to Alison and then reached for a pair of her own. She slung the bag over her shoulder. They waited a few more minutes before approaching the house. Emily kept her eyes on the neighboring houses to make sure no one was watching.

They looked at the car before approaching the house. The windows were tinted and the doors were locked. Emily snapped a few pictures of it. The license plate had been removed. The person driving it was trying to fly under the radar.

Alison reached for the door handle. It was locked. She leaned closer to the driver’s side window, but still couldn’t see inside. She put her gloved hands against the windows, lining the sides of her hands up against the glass. She moved her face close enough to it that it fogged up from the heat of her breath. She was trying to get a better look inside. She still couldn’t see anything.

Emily gently grabbed her elbow and pulled her away from the car.

“Criminology 101: Try not to look like a criminal. We need to be a _little_ less conspicuous, babe.”

She motioned for Alison to follow her to the side of the house. They slipped in between the neighboring houses. They went around to the back of the house. Emily looked around until she found the electric meter box. When she found it she pulled out her phone and attached a cable to it.

“What are you doing?” Alison asked.

“This will short out the electricity long enough to bypass any live alarms.”

“You know how to do that?”

“You’d be surprised at what I know how to do.” Emily gave her a playful grin.

Once she was finished at the electrical box she walked up to the back door and pulled a few tools out of her pocket.

Alison watched as Emily picked the lock. She wasn’t perfect at it. It took her a few tries, but she eventually got the door open.

“ _Voila_.” Emily pushed herself to her feet. Alison grabbed her arm and helped her up.

“Who even _are_ you?” Alison questioned.

“Army brat.” She reminded her with a wink, dusting her pants off with her gloved hand. “We’re very resourceful.”

She glanced inside the house. She looked around for a security keypad, but didn’t see anything. In fact, she didn’t see much of anything at all. When they walked inside they found very few personal effects.

The rooms had the bare essentials. A table in the kitchen. A couch in the living room. A few end tables. It barely looked lived in. There were no photos on the walls. There were no paintings or decorations to personalize the place. It was drab and cold.

Emily motioned for Alison to start searching on one side of the living room. Emily started on the other. There wasn’t much to search. There were a few drawers with mundane things like batteries, tools, and tape.

Alison ran her gloved fingertips over a decorative lamp. When she was little she had hidden things in the base of a hollowed out lamp in her living room. Having secrets out in the open always gave her a rush. The bolder the move the less anyone questioned it.

She wrapped her hand around the slim neck of the lamp and lifted it. She observed the bottom, which was solid. She frowned, putting the lamp back down. She felt like something was right under her nose, but there wasn’t anything else in the room.

She stared at the carpet, dragging the tip of her shoe over it. She could feel the static electricity building up. When she was a kid one of her favorite things to do was rub her socks against the carpet and chase after her brother to shock him.

Alison walked the length of the carpet, the sounds of her shoes muffled against the soft fabric, unaware that there were answers right underneath her feet. She started rummaging through a basket near the front door. It was the only decoration in the room.

Emily turned the corner and walked into an open office space. There was a desk in the middle of the room. It was neat and tidy. There was a closed laptop in the center of it.

Emily opened the computer and a screen popped up prompting her for a password. She closed the laptop and then searched the drawers in the desk. She found a USB drive tucked away in the back. She rolled it around in her fingers. She pulled her tablet out of her bag and popped the flash drive into it.

A folder popped up. It was filled with video files and photos that dated back almost five years. Emily clicked on the most recent video.

She immediately regretted it. Her stomach started doing flips when she saw Wilden in full view talking to a girl she knew from school. They were in a motel room. The girl was clearly inebriated.

“Em?” Alison’s voice softly carried into the room.

Emily closed the video and looked up just as Alison walked into the office.

“There is nothing out there.” She had a piece of wax fruit in her hand. “What kind of psychopath sets the tone of a house with grey walls and fake mangoes?” When she looked up from the fruit she saw that all of the color had drained from Emily’s cheeks. “Did you find something?”

Emily nodded, but she couldn’t find the vocal part of her brain. She was still reeling. The flash drive had _hundreds_ of videos and photos, which meant they were probably all the same as the one she’d just seen.

She glanced at the screen and scrolled down searching for a particular date. When she found it her chest tightened. Bile burned the back of her throat.

There was a video dated the night that she’d almost been hit by the car. The same night Alison had been drugged.

“Ali…” Her voice came out strained. “That night at the bar…are you _sure_ nothing happened?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because I just found Wilden’s child porn. And there’s a file dated from that night.”

“What?” Alison dropped the fake mango and snatched the tablet.

She wasn’t thinking. She was acting purely out of instinct. She hit the play button.

“Wait…” Emily tried to take it back, a frantic need to try and protect her.

The video started out in the bar. It was hard to hear anything, but the camera was moving towards the door. The camera panned to Alison. Her eyes were drooping closed. There was a large burly hand around her leading her out the door. Wilden’s hand. He _had_ been there that night.

The quality of the video degraded because of how dark it was outside. The camera was shaky as the person filming helped Wilden drag Alison to the curb.

 _“This where you want her?”_ Wilden asked, off-camera.

On camera, Alison plopped on the ground, moaning.

 _“Christ, how much did you give her?”_ Wilden’s hand came into frame, his palm tapping her cheek. She barely reacted. _“I could stick my dick down her throat and she probably wouldn’t even feel it…”_

 _“No.”_ The voice from behind the camera came out muffled and angry, but otherwise indistinguishable.

_“All right, all right. It’s your show. Let’s just snap the picture and be done.”_

There was the flash from a camera phone and then Wilden muttered something inaudible. The video ran for several more seconds, showing them walking towards the same grey car that was in the driveway out front. It cut off just as the reflection of the camera caught in the window.

Alison lowered the tablet, her jaw clenched. She was so angry that she was shaking. Emily gently pried the tablet away from her. She touched Alison’s arm.

“Are you okay?”

“I fucking hate him.” She had tears of frustration in her eyes. “I hate him so much.”

“I should have just stabbed him that day in the cafeteria.” Emily had a dark look of ire on her face.

“He’s such a sicko.” Alison scowled as she reached for the tablet. “What else is on here?”

“You don’t want to know.” Emily closed the folder with the images and videos.

“All the proof we’ve had on him up until now has been flimsy. At least this has hard evidence. If we send it to the cops…”

“It’s everything we need to put him away.” Emily pulled the flash drive free.

She looked at the laptop. She picked it up and shoved it in her oversized bag. She reached down and grabbed the wax fruit. They walked out of the office and Emily put the mango down with the other fake fruits.

They stayed together for the remainder of their search. Emily knew that Alison needed her, even if she was too stubborn to admit it.

The second story of the house was a lot like the first story. It was drab and had very minimal decorations. Everything was nice and tidy and the beds were made. It didn’t look like anyone had been there recently.

The first bedroom had a masculine appearance, including the furniture. They searched through the drawers and found clean laundry, complete with black socks and boxers. The closet had a variety of clothes. Tuxedos, casual wear, jeans, T-shirts, pressed dress shirts, hoodies. One of them was a _Rosewood High Sharks_ hoodie. Emily took several pictures as they searched for clues.

The second bedroom had a bit of a personal touch…a woman’s touch. There was a vanity set with a mirror across the room from the bed. Unlike the first room, there wasn’t a set of dresser drawers to sort through.

Emily walked over and pulled the closet door open. A flash of bright red fabric nearly smacked her in the face. She stumbled back, looking at the two identical red coats.

Emily snapped a photo. She reached out and touched the arm of the coat, pulling it forward. She searched the inside of the coat, taking a picture of the designer tag.

She moved the coats aside and started flipping through the wardrobe. Something about the clothes looked familiar, but she was so focused on taking pictures that she didn’t see the bigger picture.

Alison noticed it immediately. Emily heard the blonde gasp from beside her.

“Oh my God.” Alison reached up and ran her fingers over a yellow halter top hanging next to a short black skirt.

“What?” Emily glanced at her.

“These are my clothes.” Alison’s face was contorted in a mixture of disgust and confusion. “I mean…not _mine_ , but…this looks like an exact replica of my closet.”

She moved her hand over to a fancy red sweater and tight jeans combo. There was a fancy belt that tied it all together. She had worn the exact same thing at Christmas.

They went through it, item by item. Alison owned everything in the closet, including the accessories.

“I’m never going to be able to wear my own clothes again.” Not without feeling violated and dirty. “Is…does this creepo have people dressing up like me? Is someone trying to make their own ‘Alison’ doll?” She gagged. “Ugh, God…I can’t even…”

Alison clasped her hand over her mouth like she was going to hurl, but when she looked over at Emily she noticed a horrified look on her face. Her eyebrows were raised in concern. Her lower lids were tight and tense. She was staring at something small near the side of the closet.

She reached in and pulled out a miniature hanger with a freshly pressed outdated little red dress fitted for a baby. Emily felt a chill rock her body as she ran her fingers over the fabric.

“What is it?” Alison asked.

“This is mine.” Emily pulled the dress off of the hanger. She thought that it was safely tucked away in a box somewhere. She had no idea it was missing. “My mom brought me home from the hospital in this.” She stared at the tiny little outfit that she’d pictured bringing her own daughter home in one day.

“Are you…are you sure it’s not like…a replica…like the rest of these things?” Alison observed the clothing.

“There was a tear in it underneath the skirt that my grandmother sewed back together.” She flipped the dress over and saw the familiar stitching. She cringed. “This person has been in my room…going through my things…” She looked up and eyed the clothes in the closet, “…through _our_ things.”

“But why? I don’t get it.” Alison gently took the dress away from Emily. “Who would steal someone’s precious memories? Who would do _any_ of this?” She motioned towards the closet. “This is…it’s like a new level of insane. This person isn’t just watching us. They are _obsessed_. This is like some weird shrine. It’s what serial killers do. And I feel like the deeper we get the harder it is to escape. It’s like no matter what we do they are always one step ahead of us.” She spun around, terrified that lights were going to start blinking and that doors were going to slam, blocking their exits. “What if this is a trap? What if they want to lock us in here?”

“Easy.” Emily put her hand between Alison’s shoulder blades. “Let’s not get too crazy.”

“But you see this stuff on the news all the time. Abductions, kidnappings, hostage situations.” Her eyes darted around frantically, worried that their worst case scenario was about to happen.

“Ali, we’re in the middle of the suburbs. We’re fine.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” Alison huffed in frustration. “They have only been collecting _my_ wardrobe.” She waited for Emily to say something, but the brunette was quietly waiting on her to continue. “Why don’t they have any of your clothes?”

“Maybe because I grow out of them every two weeks at this point?” Emily tried to slice through the heavy tension.

“Em...they aren’t planning to keep you around after you have her.” Alison peered at the closet. “I think they’re after me and the baby.”

“Over my dead body.”

“Exactly.” Alison’s bottom lip quivered. “Whoever this is doesn’t want you in the picture.”

“Hey, that’s not going to happen.” Emily cupped her neck. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You can’t be sure of that.” She was afraid that one day Emily wouldn’t see an attack coming. She knew she couldn’t escape the clutches of death forever. “I don’t know what any of this means.” Alison tugged on the sleeve of the red coat. “I don’t know if someone is running around playing dress up as me or if this is just one of Wilden’s sick fetish things or if…if it’s something worse. But it means _something_ that this person took your baby clothes and took the time to re-create _my_ wardrobe.”

Emily knew Alison was right. She stared at the dress in her hands and then she looked up at the two red coats hanging at the front of the closet. She closed her eyes, trying to picture if Courtney would fit into it. She had an image in her mind of Courtney in the coat, hiding in the shadows with one of the brightest colors she’d ever seen.

_Hello world, you can’t ignore me._

Hiding in plain sight. Being incognito while demanding attention. It had Courtney written all over it.

She reached out to grab the coat. She wasn’t sure if her mind was playing tricks on her, but she thought she could smell a mixture of chlorine and vanilla. It made her feel like vomiting.

“You look like you’re about to puke.” Alison put her hand on Emily’s arm.

“Yeah.” Emily stared at the coats. “It’s just weird. This whole thing is weird. If this…if it’s Courtney…how in the hell did she get mixed up with Wilden?”

“Maybe he got mixed up with her.” Alison suggested, frowning at the USB drive in her hand. “He does seem to have a type. He could have done some digging into your past through your records. Who knows?”

“Who’s funding the whole thing? Wilden can’t be doing this on his own. And Courtney isn’t some lucky lottery winner. Her parents are comfortable, but not insanely rich.”

Alison tried to piece things together. Wilden was clearly involved. Courtney was probably involved. Wilden did a DNA search at one point and had shared markers with a mystery person...

“Is…” Alison paused, thinking the idea was ludicrous. “You don’t think…maybe Courtney and Wilden…could be related…somehow? I mean…didn’t his dad disappear? Maybe it’s far-fetched, but what if they’re half-siblings?”

“I don’t see Wilden at all when I look at Courtney _or_ at Isaac.” Not only that, but what were the chances of Darren Wilden’s father ending up in San Antonio, Texas?

“Okay, well, I’ve seen both Isaac _and_ Courtney, and you have to admit…they look _nothing_ alike.” Alison pointed out.

“Because Isaac looks like his dad’s side of the family. He looks just like his grandmother. Courtney takes after her mom’s side.”

“I’m just saying…is it _possible_ that their mother cheated?”

“I mean…I doubt it. But the only way to know for sure is to get a DNA sample from Courtney.”

“Think Isaac would be willing to help?”

“Sure. _‘Send me a strand of your sister’s hair. I want to run a DNA test on her because I think she might actually be your HALF-sister running around trying to kill me.’_ That’s sure to go over well on top of everything he’s still reeling from.” Emily laughed caustically.

“Tell him it has something to do with the baby. Like…you need to know the closest compatible relative in case something happens, like if she needs a blood transfusion or something.”

“No. I can’t do that. That’s not fair to use her as an excuse. Not with him. He’s already struggling enough with his emotions.” Emily had seen what her manipulation and lies had done to him and she’d promised herself…no more.

The room was quiet. Alison could see the discomfort on her face.

“I’m sorry. That was insensitive.” Alison bit her lip.

She was still trying to learn the lines and boundaries when it came to Isaac.

“It’s okay.”

But Alison could see her struggling with her guilt, and it made her feel even worse.

Guilt wasn’t the only thing that Emily was having reconciling. Alison had made some good points about Courtney. Was it really crazy to consider that she was involved? Was it crazy to think that maybe Alison was right? Courtney certainly didn’t seem to care about her brother. They didn’t act like siblings, other than the fact that she tortured the living hell out of him.

The only time she had _ever_ seen Courtney come to Isaac’s defense was when a couple of bitches at school had called Isaac and Emily both racial slurs.

It had been about two weeks after Courtney and Nick had had their huge blowout fight at the club. They had made up, very loudly, in Courtney’s bedroom while Isaac and Emily had been studying at Isaac’s house the next day. Emily had been trying to forget about Courtney cornering her in the club bathroom.

After nearly two weeks of Courtney side-eyeing her and making snippy comments at school things had started to fall back into their normal pattern.

Isaac had always been good at cheering her up, even when he didn’t know what was bothering her. They’d been in the cafeteria eating their lunch together one day, Isaac regaling her with a cute anecdote.

Nick had stopped by to talk to Isaac about the game that previous weekend. Courtney had just huddled next to him, trying to appear bored. She’d looked at her fingernails every few seconds.

Emily tried to ignore her. She always tried to ignore her. But Courtney wasn’t an easy person to overlook. She commanded attention.

As the boys talked, the blonde had inched closer to Emily, hovering over her. Emily had scooped up a spoonful of her pasta salad and put the noodles in her mouth.

She could feel Courtney breathing down the back of her neck. She nearly choked on the food when she felt Courtney’s fingernail drawing a line down the side of her neck near her jugular vein. She was like a lion testing the waters before ripping her throat out.

Emily accidentally inhaled some of the pasta and starting coughing uncontrollably. Isaac turned his attention away from Nick to make sure she was okay, placing his hand on her back and gently patting her as she reached for her water.

Courtney had smiled in satisfaction when she saw Emily’s face turning bright red. The sounds of her wheezing gasps seemed to be music to her ears.

 _“Easy on the intake there, Em.”_ Nick had offered her a napkin to wipe her lips.

 _“Yeah. We’re at school. Not in prison. You don’t have to inhale it like a dog.”_ Courtney had made sure Emily was looking at her as she reached for Nick’s arm.

He’d automatically responded by wrapping his arm around her. She’d moved in front of him, letting his arms drape over her chest and fall down over her shoulders, his hands grazing her chest. Emily didn’t miss that she was rubbing her ass against his crotch. Sometimes the way she behaved reminded Emily of a dog in heat.

 _Dry humping in the middle of the school cafeteria while I’m choking. Nice._ She’d sarcastically thought to herself as she’d wiped her mouth and rolled her eyes.

 _“You okay?”_ Isaac had reached out to touch Emily’s hand.

 _“I’m good.”_ Emily had smiled nervously at him.

She couldn’t pull away. Not in front of everyone. So instead, she’d flipped her hand over and laced their fingers together.

The smirk on Courtney’s face had faded. Emily was certain she was going to blow her top. But the hollow sound of laughter from a couple walking by had interrupted them. The boy was on the wrestling team and he had a real God complex. His girlfriend was one of the most notorious bitches at the school. She wasn’t on Courtney’s level, but she was close.

The girl saw Emily and Isaac holding hands and she’d scoffed, flipping her curly blonde hair. That’s when the two slurs had rolled off of the tiny blonde’s tongue. She made sure to say it loud enough for the four of them to hear.

Words normally didn’t bother Emily, but some words would always cut to the bone. It wasn’t the first time she’d been discriminated against, and she could tell by the look on Isaac’s face that it wasn’t his first time either.

Courtney had whipped her head around, her eyes flashing in a copious amount of rage.

_“What the fuck did you say to them?”_

It had surprised Emily that she’d come to their defense. Courtney spent her days belittling them, mocking them, and calling them horrible names.

But never slurs.

Courtney had literally flung herself at the little blonde bimbo, her fingernails tearing into her cheek and her other hand ripping out clumps of her hair while the girl shrieked.

The girl’s boyfriend had grabbed Courtney and slung her off of the smaller girl and into a table. Courtney had bounced off of the table and hit the ground with a ‘smack’ as her palms caught most of her weight.

 _“Don’t you fucking touch her!”_ Nick had growled.

The boy went to kick Courtney while she was down and that’s when Isaac and Nick had jumped into the brawl, both attacking him.

The girl had grabbed a chair and was getting ready to hit Isaac in the back with it, but Emily had smacked her in the face with a lunch tray. The girl stumbled back, nearly tripping over Courtney. She saw Courtney reaching for her ankle and she drew back to kick her in the face, but Emily swept her foot out and threw her leg out to knock her off of her feet with a spinning heel kick.

Emily had made brief eye contact with Courtney. It was the first and only time they had ever been on the same page. The girl landed hard on her side next to Courtney…who took no mercy on her. She’d grabbed her by her hair and started dragging her towards the trash can.

_“She’s not even Chinese, you ignorant little slut. She’s Filipina.”_

She’d managed to get her into the large canister upside down before several teachers intervened.

They’d all landed in the principal’s office. Of course, the boy and the girl had told the principal that _“they must have misheard us. We were talking about those little red bugs…you know…chiggers. And zinc helps their bites…”_

Emily had angrily ground her jaw. She’d heard them perfectly, and their sentence structure was perfectly clear. And the words they claimed to say didn’t fit right with, _“Aw, look at the little chigger dating the zinc…”_

Courtney had looked right through the principal that day. She’d had her sights set on the couple from the cafeteria. Emily had overheard her talking to Nick afterwards.

 _“Are you sure you’re okay?”_ Nick’s concern oozed off of him. He’d always been a tough guy, but when it came to his girl he was very much a soft teddy bear. _“Looked like a pretty harsh fall.”_

 _“I’m fine, Macho Man.”_ Her tone was condescending. _“I’m not some delicate little flower. My parents told us that if anyone EVER called him that we should beat the shit out of them.”_

Emily believed it. Their parents were very strict and old fashioned in a lot of ways, but there were some things worth bending the rules for.

_“Next time just let me handle it.”_

_“Fuck that. I’m going nuclear the next time I see them.”_

He’d bitched at her not to get involved. He didn’t want a retaliation and he didn’t want her getting hurt.

_“Just let it go, Court. They’re not worth it. They’re two brainless little racist shits…”_

_“And they can fuck right off.”_ Courtney had huffed. _“Talking to people like that…those words…they deserve so much worse than a slap on the wrist.”_

All Emily had been able to think was, _“The irony…”_

_“You need to stop going around and pushing people’s buttons and getting into fights…”_

_“Don’t be such a pussy!”_

_“Courtney, would you just listen to me…”_

_“No! I don’t care. No one fucks with my brother like that. Or his girlfriend.”_

The fact that she was even a thought in Courtney’s mind surprised her. She wasn’t sure if Courtney was saying it for Nick’s benefit or some other reason.

A school bell had signaled that they needed to get back to class, so Emily had disappeared into the crowd.

She’d seen the couple who had demeaned her and Isaac walking through the hallway like nothing had even happened. It enraged her.

It wasn’t just Emily’s anger that was being directed at them. Courtney shadowed them, threatening them. The boy and girl had waved it off.

A few days later the boy had been working on the siding on his house when the scaffolding had detached and sent him flying three stories. He’d broken his collar bone, his arm, and his ankle.

The girl had gotten mysteriously ill two days after his fall. She’d nearly died. The doctors said it was because her iron and potassium levels were dangerously high, which they’d traced back to her diet. But Emily had always wondered…

She’d seen what Courtney was capable of, but the girl didn’t have the resources or time to be running a full torture scheme from San Antonio. It was tearing her apart trying to figure it out.

She had been taught from an early age that more often than not the most logical explanation was the right one, but there was nothing logical about any of what was happening. Her brain was hearing hoofbeats and thinking zebras instead of horses.

“What are you thinking?” Alison asked, putting her hand against Emily’s arm.

“Have you ever heard of Occam’s Razor?” Emily stared at the coats.

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, I think I remember that from the SATs. The simplest explanation is often the right one.”

“Exactly.” Emily nodded. “I’ve been twisting things around and trying to make things fit…and they just _don’t_. Maybe we need to keep it simple.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure, but we’ll figure it out.” Emily reached for the coat, careful not to let her skin come into contact with it and leave traces of her DNA on it. “Whatever it is…we’ll start with Wilden. He’s clearly a part of this.” She saw Alison flinch at the mention of his name. Emily reached up and touched her cheek. “He’s going to pay for everything he did. For real this time.” Her eyes met Alison’s with a fierce intensity.

Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s, holding the brunette’s palm in place as she leaned into her touch with an appreciative smile.

“And what about the person working with him? Courtney or not, it’s obvious he’s not doing it alone.” Alison looked at the coat in Emily’s hands.

“All we can hope for is getting some kind of DNA or fingerprints off of this or the electronics.”

Emily started to roll the coat up. Alison gasped and gawked at the way the designer overcoat was being handled, so she snatched it from Emily and folded it in a more proper way.

Emily looked at her, amused.

“I didn’t realize I was into someone so anal retentive. Are you going to vacuum the stairs and dust the hallways next, Mrs. Fields?”

Alison nearly dropped the coat.

“What did you call me?”

Emily took a minute to realize what it sounded like. She threw her hands up and took a step back, her cheeks bright red in embarrassment.

“Oh, no…that’s not…I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Well, my ego just took a beating.” Alison laughed softly.

“I just meant that it’s very _Pam Fields_ of you to worry about the little details.” Emily grasped her hands. “Trust me, we’ll have a future. When you’re ready to be asked and I’m ready to ask…” Emily trailed off.

Alison smiled bashfully, still gently rolling the coat up the proper way. She slipped it into Emily’s bag.

Emily held on to her baby dress as she closed the closet door. She wanted to make sure they left everything exactly as they’d found it, though it was kind of pointless considering they were stealing the laptop, the USB drive, and the clothes. They knew the belongings would be missed. Their only hope is that by then they’d have hard evidence to get a few psychos put behind bars.

They searched the rest of the house and didn’t find anything else that jumped out as suspicious, except a variety of different magazines near the front door. _Tech Weekly, Today’s Fashion, Auto-Mechanic’s Classic Cars, Cosmo, Men’s Health,_ and _Parenting_. It was a really weird blend, like someone had visited the doctor’s office and had stolen a bunch of random reading materials. There was no label on them, so no way to track them. Alison picked the parenting one up and flipped through it.

“I feel like this is all one big puzzle and we’re supposed to put it together without the actual pieces.” She sighed as she tossed the magazine down. “I just wish I knew what we were looking for.”

“Well, we’ve got something to start with.” Emily motioned to her bag.

“How long do you think we have before someone is hot on our trail?” Alison asked.

“If I had to guess, not long.” Emily looked around the living room. “We should get out of here before we get caught.”

There was only one thing left to do before they took off. Emily opened the front door and grabbed the food that had been left. Then they slipped back out the way they had come in and made a beeline for the car.

Had they been in the house ten minutes longer they would have crossed paths with the person coming through the front door. But they had already pulled out of the neighborhood and were on their way back to the city by the time the house came to life.

A shadow cast by the sunlight stood motionless by the door. Something felt different. A pair of suspicious eyes landed on the empty desk. Heavy pointed footsteps against the floor filled the house with noise.

The large carpet on the hardwood was rolled aside, revealing a hidden hatch that led to the basement. Alison had been standing above it twenty minutes earlier. They had missed it in their search.

The staircase led to a room filled with security equipment.

Three computer monitors flickered to life as furious fingers tapped against the keyboard. Within seconds the security footage filled the screens.

The doorbell cam had been activated almost an hour ago. It was odd considering the driver had placed a bag of food on the stoop, but there wasn’t any food there now.

Then Alison and Emily had walked into view, triggering a hidden camera by the side of the house. It wasn’t easy to see them at first. They’d worn hats and sunglasses, but Alison’s walk and Emily’s shape were easy to distinguish.

They’d clearly called for the food delivery to see if anyone was home.

_Smart._

It was annoying _how_ smart it was.

The girls proceeded to break in and root through the house, stealing several things. The flash drive wasn’t that big of a deal. If anyone was going down for it, it was Wilden. But the computer was a different story. If the girls were able to crack the code and get into the laptop it would expose everything.

Wilden’s frantic texts about them being up to something didn’t seem so over-the-top anymore. He’d been panicking about Emily and Alison being in the city, but it made sense that they were visiting a city where Alison had been accepted to college. There hadn’t been any noise about the two of them knowing anything about Buffalo.

Wilden had promised to keep an eye on them. He clearly hadn’t been doing his job. There was an angry scream of frustration as a pair of fists came down heavy on the desk, rattling the equipment.

Two minutes later, Wilden’s phone rang nearly four hundred miles away. He picked up after two rings, but before he could answer an angry voice was shouting at him.

“You fucking incompetent idiot! You said you were watching them!”

“What are you talking about? I am.” Wilden glanced at the hotel. He had a pretzel wrapped in paper in one hand and his phone in the other. “They haven’t left the hotel all day. Clearly can’t get enough of each other…” His hormones radiated through the phone.

“They were here! They’ve got _proof_ …” There was a loud crash on the other end of the phone, “…of _everything_!”

“They what?” Wilden dropped the remains of his pretzel and leaped to his feet. “Ohh…those little bitches.” He stared at the hotel. “I’m going to kill them.”

“No.” The voice cut like a knife. “You don’t touch them under any circumstances.”

Wilden hadn’t earned the right to kill them. And that wasn’t the plan. Not yet.

“Then what’s the plan?”

“The plan is for you to go home. You’ve already fucked this up enough.”

“Watch what you say to me. You’d be nothing without me…”

“Don’t cross me.” The voice was cold, cruel. “I swear to God…”

“Okay. I’m sorry. But you can’t do this alone. You’re going to need help.”

“Not from you.”

Before Wilden could argue, the phone call was cut off. He looked at the screen and frowned.

“The fucking nerve…” Being hung up on pissed him off.

Alison and Emily were _really_ starting to get on his nerves. He had half a mind to march into the hotel and sneak into their room. He could hide in the closet and attack them. They’d never know what hit them. All of this could be over.

He quietly stewed in his rage, cooking up a plan. He was tired of following orders. If they had the flashdrive his life was over. He couldn’t let them leave the city with it. He couldn’t let them leave, period.

He slipped into his car and opened the glove box. He’d had to surrender all of his firearms after he’d been arrested, but there were other ways. His fingers grazed the knife’s handle. He pulled it out with a devious smirk on his face.

* * *

There was an electric sort of tension in the air during the drive back to the city. Emily knew it was a little premature to be giddy about their progress, but there was a certain excitement she couldn’t contain. It was like the feeling she got when she was flying down an empty road on her bike.

The rush of adrenaline was also bringing her nerves to the surface. She thought about the ramifications of what they’d done. They had crossed a major line, and she couldn’t help but worry about the repercussions.

She looked over at the blonde in the passenger’s seat. She was peering out the front windshield thoughtfully. She had the flash drive in her hand. She hadn’t let go of it since they left the house. She would defend it with her life if it meant taking Wilden down. She rubbed her fingertips against it and looked down at it.

“We’ve got this, Ali.” Emily took one hand off the steering wheel and put her warm palm over the top of Alison’s fidgeting fingers.

Alison looked over at her with a smile on her face. Emily made her feel so safe. She’d never quite understood people who said things like, _“I feel like we’ve been together forever”_ but after being with Emily she knew how it felt. She couldn’t remember her life before Emily. She just wanted to look towards the future with her. And now that could be a reality for them. If they stopped the person tormenting her there would be nothing stopping them from getting their happily ever after.

“I know.” She knew that they were unstoppable together. She knew that Emily could accomplish anything. “We’re so close to ending this. I can feel it.” Alison let out an excited breath, but there was a nervous undertone in her words. She reached over and touched Emily’s arm. “You were incredible back there. Felt like Rizzoli and Isles.”

“Were they a couple?” Emily glanced at her in confusion.

“They should have been.” Alison frowned down at her feet, mumbling something about fanfiction. Emily chuckled. “So…what’s next?”

“Put as much distance between that house and us as possible. I don’t doubt whoever this is will come swinging back at us wildly. We need to be one step ahead of them. I know we planned on staying in the city one more night, but I think we need to get out of here. I say we grab our stuff from the hotel and go from there.”

“Mexico or Canada?” Alison questioned.

“Canada is closer.”

“Mmm.” Alison nodded. “But Mexico has beaches.”

“You in a bikini? I’m sold.” Emily reached over and gently grabbed Alison’s hand. She squeezed it. Alison squeezed back with a smile.

They laid their options out on the table on the drive back to the hotel. Turning the evidence over to the police could be tricky considering they had broken into a house and stolen property that didn’t belong to them. Their best bet was to get the files from the USB transferred to a brand new drive.

They were going to need help to crack into the laptop to see what was on it. Emily hated to bring Caleb back into it, but she wasn’t a hacker. Having him talk her through it was an option. Once they knew what they were dealing with they could take the files from the computer and turn them into the police with some of the screenshots Emily had taken of the messages.

Trying to nail the accomplice was going to be a lot harder. If the computer didn’t have any evidence of who Wilden was working with they were going to have to rely on DNA from the coat. Emily wasn’t sure how to go about extracting DNA from fabric, or if there even _was_ any DNA on it.

By the time they got back to the hotel the sun had set. The night life was starting to come alive. There was a party happening on the floor above them. A bunch of rowdy college kids were celebrating someone’s birthday.

They packed up their things. Initially, they weren’t sure if they were going to need to stay the whole weekend for the investigation. Now that they had evidence Emily wanted to get back to Rosewood so they could expedite their plan.

She was playing with the laptop, trying to figure out ways to bypass the security lock screen. She sat at the desk in the hotel room tinkering with the device while finishing up her dinner. They were recharging before they hit the road again.

Alison was lying on the bed, her stomach pressed against the mattress as she leaned against her elbows, her head near the foot of the bed. She kicked her feet behind her, her toes nearly hitting the wall. She had a magazine in front of her, but she kept looking up from it to watch Emily work.

She liked the faces Emily made when she was deep in concentration. Her brow dipped down, forming little creases near the top of her nose. Her eyes were focused and intense. Her lips were thin and curved down, leaving little indents near the edge of her mouth. It was a lot like the face she made when they were sharing intimate moments in bed.

Alison knew they needed to focus, but when she looked at the little dips in her facial muscles she felt like kissing her. Emily could feel Alison’s eyes on her, which made it harder to concentrate. She sighed and closed the laptop, knowing she wasn’t getting anywhere. She knew they needed a professional. She didn’t want to break it before they had a chance for Caleb to take a stab at it.

She walked over towards the bed. Alison tried to play coy, pretending like she hadn’t been staring at her the whole time.

Emily plopped down next to her against the edge of the mattress. Alison reached over and rubbed her thigh. Emily turned her head and smiled at her. Alison moved to sit up, curling her legs up underneath her.

Emily gave her a playful look and then engulfed her in a hug. They both fell back against the mattress laughing. The excitement and the adrenaline of the day had given them a newfound sense of purpose. They wanted to celebrate their victory.

Alison pressed a kiss against her lips and snuggled closer to the brunette. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling her aroma. She could smell her cocoa butter body oil and her moisturizing shampoo. Beyond that, she could smell her hard work and determination. She felt Emily threading her fingers through her hair.

“You know, all the felonies and danger aside…this has been an incredible trip.” Alison smiled. It had been nice to get away from Rosewood and spend time with her girl, just the two of them. “It’s made me realize that we could have something normal after this.”

“ _Normal_?” Emily chuckled. “What’s _that_?”

“Anything we want it to be.” Alison hummed happily as she kissed Emily’s knuckles.

She took a moment to take a snapshot of the moment for her memories. A girl as wonderful and as beautiful as Emily Fields…looking at her with so much love in her eyes. It was like a dream.

“Does that _anything_ include NYU?” Emily asked curiously.

Alison’s smile faded. She was conflicted about her future. She wanted to have it all. She wanted NYU. But she wanted Emily and the baby just as much, if not more.

“I told you…I’m still thinking about what I want to do.” Alison turned, slightly pulling back.

Emily held her in place. She didn’t want Alison to push her away. The blonde was an expert at avoiding the hard conversations.

“I’m not trying to push you,” Emily said, touching her cheek. “I want you to do what _you_ want. And I want you to know that I’ll support you no matter what.”

Alison reveled in the feel of Emily’s fingers against her face. Her touch…her goddamn touch put her in such a quiet state of oblivion. She was so docile and comforting.

Alison put her palm against Emily’s stomach and smiled sweetly at her.

“The same goes for you.”

Emily moved forward to capture her lips and Alison sighed happily into their embrace. Alison’s fingertips moved against the curve of Emily’s jaw. She pushed aside a strand of her hair. The purple was starting to fade a little bit. She was due for a touch-up.

“I wish I could freeze this moment.” Alison smiled against Emily’s lips. “Every time we have a moment of happiness I just want to bottle it up and keep it forever.”

“I’m always happy when I’m with you.”

The way she said it so casually and in such a nonchalant manner made Alison want her more.

“Me too,” Alison said. “I didn’t know it was possible. I guess I just spent so much of my life in this weird miserable state that I have this irrational fear of happiness not lasting. Because any time I’ve ever been happy…like _really_ happy…something came along to destroy it.” Her nose crinkled up. “It made me kind of a terrible person.”

“I think that’s just human nature.” Emily put her hand against Alison’s side. “We try to control how the disappointments happen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve flown off the handle about little things…all because I don’t like how things are going. Or I _like_ how they’re going and I don’t want anything to come along and ruin it, so I ruin it on _my_ terms.”

She took a thoughtful breath as she thought about all the times she had acted out, like snapping at her parents over coming to New York. She felt bad about it. Her mother had called twice when they were driving back from Buffalo. Emily still hadn’t called her back.

“It sucks that there are things out there trying to steal joy from others.” Alison grumbled with a cute little frown on her face.

Emily kissed her forehead, and an old quote came to mind as she tried to sum up all the feelings that they were wrestling with.

“ _Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape._ ” Emily cupped Alison’s cheek.

Alison’s lips curled into a smile.

“Quoting _Charles Dickens_ at me in bed. You _really_ know the way to my heart…” And her loins.

Their lips met in another embrace. Emily slid her hand up the back of Alison’s shirt as she gently tried to shift her on to her back. As they were rolling Alison felt Emily grunt in discomfort.

Alison pulled her lips away from Emily’s.

“Everything okay?”

“Just a cramp.” Emily reached around to her lower back and rubbed her knuckles against a twisted muscle. She sat up. “I think I just overdid it today. Plus all that time in the car…”

“Here…roll over.” Alison moved back to give Emily room so she could lie on her side.

Once Emily’s back was facing her she started kneading the muscles along her spine. It didn’t take her long to get to the tense spot. She saw Emily jump when she pressed against it. After a few minutes the rubbing started to soothe the area. Emily slowly relaxed.

“Thanks.” She sat up against the edge of the bed. She rolled her shoulder. “I think I need to walk a bit before we take off.”

“I’m going to make sure we’ve packed everything. Don’t want to leave any evidence behind.” She sat up behind Emily and wrapped her arms around her neck, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. “ _Orange is the New Black_ is a great show, but I don’t want to live it in real life.”

Emily laughed, bending her neck to give her a kiss.

“I’ll just be five minutes.”

She slipped her shoes on and walked out of the room. She walked down the hallway, past the ice machine. She paused when she reached the stairwell. Steps were a bitch, but she knew that it would help loosen her muscles for the drive back home. She didn’t want her joints getting stiff.

As she walked through the doorway a familiar face peered around the corner. Wilden had an NYU hoodie pulled up over his head. The frat party was a perfect cover after he’d failed to get access to Emily and Alison’s room. He had to improvise.

He wasn’t supposed to be there, but he didn’t feel like doing what he was told anymore. Alison and Emily had taken everything from him. His livelihood. His reputation. His job. His good name. They had ruined him.

The game had started out simple enough. It was just about teaching them a lesson a first, but it had grown into much more than that.

The plan was already in motion. Smoke was starting to billow out from underneath a closet door. The fire wasn’t big. And it was contained in a small garbage can. He just needed a distraction. He waited a few minutes until more smoke was drifting out into the hallway. Then he walked to the other end of the hallway and disappeared into a room with a key he’d stolen from the front desk.

He’d just slithered into the room three doors down as Alison walked out of her room with the ice bucket. Everything was packed and ready to go. She just had one last thing she needed to do. She rounded the corner towards the ice machine. She smelled something funny, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She assumed it was the college kids above them smoking weed.

She lined the ice bucket and stuck it under the machine, pressing the button. It whirred to life loudly as chunks of ice dropped into it. She was going to make little ice packs for Emily for the drive, hoping it might help with her hot flashes and sore muscles.

She pulled the bucket free just as the alarms started blaring. The noise was so loud that she almost dropped the bucket. When she realized it was the fire alarm it hit her that the smoke was _not_ from the party.

“Emily…” Her first and only thought was making sure she was safe.

She wasn’t sure which way Emily had gone. She dropped the ice bucket and ran down the hallway, hoping to run into her at the other end. The closer she got to the other end the heavier the smoke was. She called out her name, but didn’t hear anything in response except for several doors opening to see what the alarms were all about. She turned around and ran back the other way.

The alarms in the stairwell were so loud that they nearly caused Emily to lose her footing. She slammed her palms over her ears and looked up and saw red and white lights flashing.

An emergency announcement echoed in the open space. Seconds later footsteps were stampeding from everywhere.

She knew the elevators wouldn’t be working, so she quickly turned around and started back up towards the eighth story.

She made it to the seventh before she hit the crowds of people rushing down from the party.

“Yo, you’re going the wrong way!” A young college freshman grabbed her and tried to turn her around.

She yanked her arm away from him and started up the stairs again. She had to shove through them. Several more of them tried to get her to turn around, but she was only focused on getting back to Alison.

The hallway was just as crowded. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a familiar blonde blob of hair mixed in with the other hotel guests. They ran into each other’s arms. Emily pulled her out of the path of the stampeding herd.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked, out of breath.

“Fine. You?”

“Yeah. It’s getting crazy though. Where’s the fire?”

“No one seems to know. It’s coming from down there.” She pointed. “There’s smoke, but no flames.”

“Where there is smoke there are most definitely flames.” Emily gripped her hand tightly.

“We have to get back to the room. We can’t let anything happen to that laptop.” Alison glanced at the party-goers whizzing past them.

Fighting against the crowd wasn’t easy. People kept bumping into them. Alison turned around and sneered at a middle-aged man who had knocked Emily into the wall.

“Watch where you’re fucking going.” She shoved him back.

The guy kept going. Emily grabbed Alison’s hand again so they wouldn’t lose one another in the crowd.

“Come on.”

They didn’t see Wilden slipping out of the room. He’d been waiting for them to come by. The crowd was so frantic that no one seemed to notice or care that he had on sunglasses and was wearing a handkerchief around his face. People probably thought he’d just done it to avoid smoke inhalation.

He managed to seamlessly migrate in with the others. He saw his opportunity as they were going by a small corner. He shoved Alison and Emily towards a nook near their room, a little area that led nowhere.

They tumbled forward. Emily had enough presence of mind to move Alison in front of her, putting herself between their attacker and the blonde. Emily shielded Alison protectively. Alison spun around just in time to see the glint of the knife’s blade.

“Emily!” Alison shrieked, grabbing her, twisting her away from the weapon so hard that the brunette flew into the wall.

The sudden movement threw Wilden off balance. The blade slipped, piercing Alison’s side instead of Emily’s back.

Alison felt the tip of the blade sink into her skin, cutting like butter. She let out a loud scream. A piercing pain sent a shockwave up her spine. The knife felt hot against her body, but the blood bubbling on her skin was hotter. She could feel a sticky substance pooling against her ripped shirt.

She had braced herself for it, so she managed to backpeddle and twist away before the knife could cause any further damage. She felt a rush of adrenaline.

Emily lunged forward and tried to grab the weapon. He wildly thrust the knife at the brunette, but Emily side-stepped it and threw a punch into his jaw. He dropped the weapon and staggered back, but not before shoving Emily against the wall and disappearing into the crowd.

Emily’s head hit the sheetrock with a loud ‘thud’. She saw stars, but managed to keep her eyes open. She used the wall for support. Her back slid down against it until her ass hit the floor.

Alison’s eyes darted towards Wilden and then back to Emily.

“Em, are you okay?” Alison fell to her knees in front of Emily, cupping her cheek with one hand and automatically reaching out to touch her stomach with her other.

“Fine. I just…”

“He’s heading towards the roof.” She pulled Emily to her feet. “We can’t let him get away.”

Her adrenaline took over as she bolted after him, unable to hear Emily’s calls for her to stop. She didn’t see the wave of people blocking Emily from following her. Emily watched her disappear as she frantically tried to get through the blockade in the hallway.

Wilden raced towards the roof. He’d studied the hotel enough to know that there was a fire escape that led to an adjoining roof. He was fast, but Alison was hot on his heels.

She was so laser-focused on him that she didn’t see a familiar red coat in the midst of the crowd. The person watched them weave through the swarm of panicked party-goers.

The door to the roof burst open as Wilden stumbled forward. Alison was right behind him. She took a flying leap and landed on his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck while letting out an angry feral scream.

“How dare you…” She dug her fingernails into his scalp, ripping at what little hair he had. “How fucking _dare_ you try to hurt them? You could have killed them!”

She clawed at his face, knocking his sunglasses to the ground and ripping the bandana away from his mouth.

He spun around and threw her off of him. She fell hard against the cement, but thanks to all the self-defense classes Emily made her take she knew exactly how to land…and how to bounce back. She rolled through a pile of plastic red cups and empty beer bottles from the party.

She was on her feet seconds later, face to face with him. She hadn’t seen him since the day that Hanna had gotten the recording of him with the twins.

An animalistic rage took over. Her scream echoed off of the building, but the sound was buried by the noise of the blaring alarms and the fire engines and bustling people below.

They clashed, Alison throwing wild unabashed punches at him. One for Emily. One for the baby. One for herself. One for Mona. One for every girl in the cafeteria that day. She hit him so much that she started to lose count. Her knuckles felt bruised and broken, but she didn’t stop.

He raised his hand to backhand her, but she stumbled backwards and he nearly fell forward on to his face.

They stared at one another, both of them panting. His face was covered in blood. Alison felt like something had been unleashed, and she was not going to cage her rage until he was properly punished.

“I should have finished you off that night at the bar.” Wilden snarled at her through his bloody teeth.

“You really should have.” Alison taunted.

She wasn’t walking away from him tonight without one of two things happening: his arrest, or him leaving in a body bag. She was fine with either.

“You’re never going to get near me or Emily or _any_ girl ever again. You’re going away for the rest of your life.” Alison snapped, breathing heavy. “I hope you know what they do to people like _you_ in prison. It’s over, Wilden.”

“You’re right.” He replied calmly, looking at something behind her, a sly grin on his face.

Alison only realized what was going through his mind after he started barreling towards her. It was too late to do anything but brace herself for it.

He pushed her towards the edge of the building, bending her backwards. She nearly teetered over. She caught a glimpse of how high they were, the vertigo making it challenging for her to get her bearings. She saw the ground below spinning in the city lights.

She managed to fight him off and get upright again.

They moved towards one another again, but a piercing blow cracked through the air. Alison saw blood splatter on to the pavement as a bullet ripped through Wilden’s arm.

“Son of a bitch!” He yelped. “You fucking missed!”

Wilden found just enough strength to grab Alison and knock her towards the edge of the building again. She helplessly grasped at the wall as she fell forward. Out of the corner of her eye Alison saw a flash of red fabric blowing in the breeze.

Emily burst through the door. She ran towards the scuffle just in time to see the person in the hoodie knock Alison over the ledge and take off running. She didn’t see the person in the red coat slinking towards the exit.

Emily’s heart dropped in her chest when she saw Alison disappear over the ledge, a crushing pain nearly incapacitating her. She felt like falling to her knees and screaming. She raced towards the barrier…hoping with all of her heart…

“ALI!”

The period of silence was a blow more powerful than anything she’d ever experienced. She lunged towards the edge.

She felt a flood of relief when she heard Alison shouting.

“Emily! Emily, help me!”

When she looked over the barrier she saw Alison gripping a protruding arch that circled the entire building. Her fingertips were slipping. Emily reached down, grasping her wrists.

Alison felt a burning sensation in her side from the stab wound and she groaned. Her shoulders felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets. She felt her hands sliding away from Emily’s.

“I’m slipping!” Alison cried. One of her hands slipped from Emily’s grasp and Alison’s entire body flailed wildly in the air. She let out a panicked cry. “Don’t drop me. Please don’t drop me!”

“I’ve got you.” Emily assured her. “Just hold on. I’ve got you.”

The blood on Alison’s knuckles and the sweat on Emily’s palms was making it extremely difficult for them to hold on to one another. Alison was hyperventilating. She could feel her fingers sliding through Emily’s fingers.

“I don’t want to die. Please…” She whimpered.

“I won’t let you die.” There was a determination in her voice, but Alison could hear the terror in her tone.

Alison looked up, her eyes filled with tears. She saw the helpless look on Emily’s face. She’d never seen her girl look helpless before. It terrified her. Emily was nearly halfway over the barrier. She was teetering on the ledge.

Alison knew that if she fell Emily wasn’t going to let go. She would go down with her. She would _always_ put everyone else before herself. She knew that Emily was far too selfless to make the difficult choice.

Alison had spent her entire life being self-centered and led by her ego. It was because of Emily and her child that she finally understood what it meant to be willing to sacrifice herself for love.

“You can’t…” Alison choked, her voice quivering. “Em…you’re going to get pulled down with me.”

“No. No, I’ve got you…”

“You don’t. You’re going to fall.” Alison sobbed. “I can’t let you and the baby die, too…”

“Ali, stop it…” Emily snapped harshly, her desperation making her panic.

She had a terrifying flashback to one of her swimming training sessions. One of the first things she had been taught was that when someone was drowning if they were pulling you under then you had to let them go to save yourself. She’d always wondered if she’d be able to do it if she was faced with the situation.

Emily certainly didn’t want to choose between Alison and her daughter. In fact, she’d made it pretty clear that if that choice were to come to a head she’d have to pick her baby. But now that she was actively losing the love of her life she couldn’t see anything but the future she was losing. She looked into Alison’s wide blue eyes and she saw the depth of her soul.

Alison was slipping away, and she was taking Emily’s heart...her every fiber of her being with her. Her loss would mean the collapse of Emily’s world. She could already feel it falling to pieces around her. It was a devastating realization to know that if she survived when Alison didn’t, she wouldn’t want to _live_. Because if Alison fell, she would fall with her. If Alison was died, she would die with her. If she was buried, she would take Emily’s heart to the grave, and Emily would never be the same again.

“I love you.” Alison let out a trembling breath. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” She nodded her head as a tear slipped down her cheek. “As long as you two are safe…”

The girl was willing to die for her and her child, but Emily couldn’t fathom losing her. She couldn’t fathom losing either one of them. Alison and her baby were her family.

“No.” Emily growled, her knees hitting the cement barrier so hard that the pain resonated throughout her entire body. “I’m not going to lose you. Not after we fought so hard to get here.”

Her heart was overriding her instincts and they both knew it. Alison had to make the decision for both of them. She tried to pull away, but Emily only held on tighter.

“You have to let me go.” Alison’s voice cracked in a way that ripped into Emily’s heart. “Think about her, Em. Think about your daughter. She needs you.”

Emily stubbornly refused to let her go, even as she was slipping over the ledge. She let out a guttural scream and tightened her grip on Alison’s wrist. She used her knees as the point of force as she leaned even further over the edge to grab Alison’s other hand. Her muscles tightened as she somehow found the strength of ten women. She braced the tips of her feet against the cement barrier and slowly started lifting Alison up.

Alison gasped in surprise. Once Emily had stabilized her arms she was able to use her feet to walk up the side of the building with Emily’s help.

It felt like an eternity, but after a few minutes she managed to get Alison up over the edge, catching her in her arms as they both collapsed on to the rooftop. Alison was trembling. Emily could feel her body vibrating against her, her sobs jolting Emily’s body. Emily’s emotions flooded her senses. She tightly wrapped her arms around Alison and let out a heaving breath as tears flooded her face. Neither of them could move.

“Are you okay?” Emily cupped her cheek, pushing her hair aside.

Alison gasped, looking at Emily in fright, the realization washing over her that she had her full body weight on top of her.

“Oh my God…the baby. I didn’t hurt her, did I?” She quickly scrambled to her feet.

“No.” Emily gripped the ledge and pulled herself up next to the blonde, her knees still aching. “She’s okay. We’re okay.”

 _All_ of them. All three of them.

Emily’s hands were shaking. Her throat felt hot from all the tears. She looked at Alison in relief. There was a cut on her forehead. There were speckles of blood all over her shirt. She was pretty banged up. But she was alive. Alive was all that counted.

“What happened?” Emily carefully traced her fingers over the cut.

“Red coat…she was here. She tried to shoot me.” Alison looked at the empty spot where just moments ago another person had been standing. “She accidentally hit Wilden…” Her voice sounded raw and broken. “He got away. I tried…I tried to stop him…”

“Don’t worry about that.” Emily reached towards Alison’s side. “We should get you to a hospital…”

She lifted Alison’s shirt where a pool of blood had soaked through. There was a gash, but fortunately it was only skin deep. Alison looked down at it.

“It doesn’t look like it needs stitches.” Alison touched it. She flinched when she felt the torn skin.

“I’m going to kill him. Forget jail. I’m going to rip him to pieces myself.” Emily huffed angrily as her fingers explored the gash tenderly.

“Don’t work yourself up.” Alison looked at her stomach. “It’s bad for the baby.” She pulled her shirt down, almost defiantly.

Emily grasped her cheeks, half relieved, half infuriated.

“You could have been killed.” She cupped her face, letting out a shaky breath. “What were you thinking?”

“He would have killed you both. I couldn’t let that happen.” The flash of the knife had been one of the most terrifying things she’d ever seen. “We…” Alison looked around the rooftop in shock. Where had red coat gone? “We should get out of here. We can’t afford to cause a scene.”

She grabbed Emily’s hand and pulled her towards the door. They made their way down the stairs. The smoke on their floor was so thick that they could barely see. They could hear the firefighters shouting at one another. They had no choice but to leave their belongings in the room and join the masses outside the hotel.

It took the fire department half an hour to find the metal bin covered in black ash. It had been reduced to a pile of scraps, but the fire had not spread. They came out shaking their heads and muttering, _“stupid kids.”_

Once the building had been cleared Emily and Alison went back inside to retrieve their things. The hotel room had been completely tossed. At first, they assumed it had been the firefighters.

But then Emily noticed that the laptop was gone.

“No…” she uttered.

There was something else on the desk in its place. She slowly walked over, a lump in her throat. A pile of red shreds were all that remained of something that once used to be a little red dress. Tears pooled in her eyes. Her dress had been torn to pieces.

On top of the dress there was a picture of Alison with a huge red X marked over her face. There was a note written in red ink.

**_Keep digging and it will be their graves that you’ve unearthed. I’ll bury them in a New York minute._ **

Emily felt a surge of rage. She felt like flipping the desk. She reached out and picked up the tattered remains of her very first outfit. It felt like a piece of her past was slipping away from her, and taking a piece of her heart with it.

Alison sat down against the edge of the bed, staring at her. She was still in a state of shock.

“I’m sorry.” Alison mumbled.

“What?” Emily spun around. She raced to Alison’s side. “No…this…it’s not your fault…don’t apologize…”

“They destroyed your dress.” Alison’s lip was quivering. She couldn’t imagine what something like that meant to Emily. She was angry, but she was also tired. “I’m so sorry. I should have come back for our stuff as soon as I heard the alarm.” But she’d gone looking for Emily instead. “Now everything we had was gone. We really needed that laptop.”

“Alison, I don’t care about the stupid laptop. I care about _you_.” She sat down next to her. “We’ll find another way.”

They’d had everything they needed in their clutches and it had slipped through their fingers. They had lost almost everything, but it was better than losing each other.

Alison let out a grunt of frustration.

“We were so close.” She slapped her palms against the mattress. “He ruined everything.” She reached up and brushed at the blood on her shirt and whined. “This is my favorite shirt.”

“Well, I can’t do anything about the shirt.” Emily reached for her bag. She dug around, pulling out a first aid kit, which she always traveled with…complements of her dad. “But let’s take care of you, okay?”

Alison nodded, lifting her shirt. Emily observed the injury, unable to process how much worse it could have been.

“Jumping in front of that knife was really stupid.” She croaked, looking at the cut, letting her fingers linger against it. Had it been two inches to the right and several inches deeper she could have died. “And chasing him down all by yourself…God, Ali, you almost got yourself killed.”

She reached up and cupped her cheeks, taking a shaky breath to try and calm her nerves. Her heart had felt like it was being ripped to pieces as she’d felt Alison’s hands slipping away from hers on the roof. Nothing in her life had ever scared her to her core. Not until tonight.

She put her forehead against Alison’s and closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes back up they were wet with tears.

“You are so incredibly stupid.” She pecked her lips. “And so brave.” She kissed her again. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I’d do it again every time.” Alison replied softly, though the stubborn intention of her tone was very clear.

“Of course you would.” Emily laughed.

She took a moment to hold her face, to appreciate her. Then she went to work on her injury.

She delicately cleaned the cut. Emily’s fingers felt good against her skin. Alison cringed when she felt her put a cool gel on the wound. Emily put a piece of gauze over the injury and taped it in place. She pressed a kiss against it and then put the supplies away.

“I can’t believe he got the laptop and the coat…” Alison grumbled.

“I’m just glad he didn’t get _you_.”

“Or the flash drive.” Alison reached into her pocket, pulling out the USB drive.

Emily grabbed the drive. They didn’t have the laptop anymore, but at the very least they had enough to get Wilden arrested.

“You are amazing.” Emily shook her head in disbelief. “I could kiss you!”

“So…do it.” Alison challenged with a smile.

Emily happily obliged. She kissed her a little harder, held her a little tighter. She knew what she could have lost if she lost the blonde.

After they got cleaned up they grabbed their things, eager to get back home. Emily wrapped her arm around Alison’s waist and pulled her close as they were walking through the lobby. They were almost at the front door when Alison halted to a complete stop.

“Holy shit.” Alison stared at a television hanging over the bar.

Emily craned her neck up and saw what had captured Alison’s attention. They saw Wilden’s face plastered on the screen with a major headline.

**EX-TEACHER ARRESTED ON CHILD PORNOGRAPHY CHARGES**

A perky reporter of Iranian descent appeared on the screen outside of the New York City Police Department. She spoke into the microphone with a very serious look on her face, the captions capturing every word of her speech.

_“Our sources confirm that Darren Wilden has charges against him in Pennsylvania. Those charges are pending, and he was under court order not to leave the state. The incriminating photos were found in his car after an anonymous tipster called in a report after seeing him at a local hospital. He was receiving treatment for a gunshot wound. Authorities are still trying to work out the details of what happened, but sources have indicated that they have mounting evidence against him for more than one crime. Once he’s been treated he will be released into NYPD custody. The NYPD is working with the local law enforcement in Pennsylvania to discuss his charges there. The police issued a statement explaining that he may be extradited…”_

Alison turned away from the TV and reached into her pocket, her fingertips grazing the hard drive.

“Looks like someone beat us to it.” It was satisfying, but at the same time she hated that they hadn’t been the ones to turn him in.

“Yeah, but who?” Emily questioned. And _why_? She faced Alison, her lips pursed in thought. “You said that someone else was on that roof with you…that red coat was trying to shoot you. Are you _sure_ that bullet wasn’t meant for him?”

“Why would red coat turn on him? They’ve been working together.”

Emily struggled to think of a logical reason.

“Maybe he became a liability.”

“Whatever happened…at least he’s out of the way. He can’t be a little errand boy if he’s in prison.”

They knew it was far from over, but it was a step in the right direction.

They walked towards the door. Emily felt her phone buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw her mom’s name on the caller ID. She had five missed calls from her, but in the chaos of the evening she hadn’t had a chance to call her back.

“I think my mom is going to have a coronary if we don’t get home soon.” Emily grabbed Alison’s hand.

As they were loading everything into the car Emily sent a quick text.

**_I’m on my way home._ **

Her mother responded immediately,

**_Call me. Now._ **

Emily huffed out a sigh. Her mother was _really_ pissed. Emily hit her number on the speed dial. When her mother answered she sounded frazzled.

“Emily…”

“Hey, we’re getting ready to get into the car. We’re coming home…”

“Emily…” Her voice was shaky. Emily felt a chill shoot up her spine. “It’s your father…”

Her eyes widened. She almost lost her grip on her phone. She swayed unevenly on her feet, her vision becoming fuzzy. She thought she was going to pass out, but after a few seconds her vision returned to normal.

“Emily?” Alison saw the look on her face.

She moved around to the other side of the car. She put her hand on Emily’s arm, but Emily barely felt it.

“Em, are you there?” Her mother’s voice sounded so small…and so far away.

“I…yeah.” Emily stuttered. “Is dad okay?”

“He collapsed at work. They think…they think it’s his heart.”

“Is he okay?” Emily asked again, the words sounding like a cycle of repetition she couldn’t get out of.

The phone line was silent. Emily swore she could hear her mother’s heart wildly beating. Or it was her own pulse in her head. She couldn’t tell.

“We’re at Rosewood General. You should come here. I’m still waiting on the doctor.”

Emily stared at her reflection in the car window in shock. She couldn’t see anything in her line of sight. She couldn’t hear her mother speaking anymore. She couldn’t feel Alison squeezing her hand. The only thing she could feel was the hurt and pain she’d seen on her father’s face as she stormed out of the house twenty-four hours ago. The last thing she’d said to him had been hate-filled words.

What if they had been the _last_ words she would _ever_ say to him?

Memories of her father flooded her mind. She thought about every time he had made her smile. Every time he made her laugh. Every time he held her in his arms as she cried. She thought about the longing she’d had in her heart when he was overseas, and about how seeing him on a screen or talking to him on the phone hadn’t had the same impact of actually being _with_ him.

What if she never got to see him again? At all?

She had been a daddy’s girl since birth. She loved her dad more than anything, even when he pissed her off. She couldn’t imagine life without him.

She’d lost count of how many meaningful talks they’d had about her life. He’d been just as genuine about her first day of kindergarten as he’d been about the advice he had for her pregnancy. All he wanted for her was her happiness.

He had always been there for her, even before she was born. Her mother had told her that he’d constantly talked to her baby bump. She could only imagine the conversations he must have had with her then. Had he told her he loved her and that he wanted her to grow up strong and independent and beautiful?

She had seen so many memories of him beaming from ear-to-ear, holding his little baby girl. He’d bragged about her to his friends non-stop. He had taught her everything she knew. She’d seen videos of herself learning to walk while gripping his fingers for support as he waddled along behind her. She remembered how he complied when she shouted to go higher on the swings. He’d taught her how to dance, how to fight, and how to love.

The hours they’d spent together restoring her bike seemed so much more meaningful to her now. How could she have taken him for granted? Why didn’t she tell him that she loved him more?

_God, he can’t die. Please, don’t let him die._

She thought about everything he would miss. She thought about how her daughter would never know him. He would never cradle her and sing to her and tell her silly jokes. He would never brag to his buddies, _“My grandbaby is the prettiest baby in the world.”_

He would never get to coo over her outfits or insist on babysitting or beg for more photos of his little baby girl with _her_ baby girl. He wouldn’t get to fall in line behind her child when she started walking. He’d never hear her utter _“Poppa”_. He’d miss her first day of kindergarten. He wouldn’t get to see her grow up or fall in love.

He wouldn’t be there when Emily needed him. He’d miss walking her down the aisle. He’d miss seeing their family bloom. How was she supposed to raise her child without her dad? He was her safety net.

_Please…I need you, dad. I need you. I’m sorry._

She blinked and looked over at Alison, surprised to see her phone in the blonde’s hand. At some point Alison had taken it from her. She was trying to talk to her mother.

“No…no, she looks like she’s okay.” She glanced at Emily. “You’re okay, aren’t you, Em?”

“Yeah.” She huffed out.

But she felt her stomach curdling, a tension gripping her so tightly that she reflexively gagged. Her stomach started pulsing as the wave of nausea struck her hard. She grabbed the edge of the car with one hand and her stomach with her other hand and doubled over, throwing up all over the pavement. It sent a heatwave rolling through her body.

“Oh!” Alison whimpered in alarm. “H-hold on, Mrs. Fields.” She lowered the phone and quieted her voice. “Em...”

“I’m okay.” Emily stood up, her eyes watering.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.” Alison spoke into the phone.

Emily blinked again and the phone was in her hand and she was listening to her mother’s monotonous voice telling her to drive carefully.

She nodded, unable to speak, unable to form any coherent thoughts. After everything they’d been through and now _this_?

It didn’t make sense. The weekend had started out so well. How had it spun out of control like this?

They were jumping from one fucked up situation to another. Emily was tired of it. She was exhausted. She wanted a break. She _needed_ a break. The stress of it was becoming too much. They had been through hell and back. Alison had nearly died two hours ago.

Her family was suffering. And it didn’t make _any_ sense.

“I love you, baby.” It was her mother’s voice that snapped her out of it.

“I love you, too, mom.”

After she hung up she fumbled around for the keys. Before she could climb in the driver’s seat Alison gently put her hand on top of hers.

“You’re not driving right now.” Alison took the keys from her.

Emily nodded mindlessly. She saw Alison reach up, but it didn’t register that her delicate hand was swiping away the sweat on her cheek.

“Are you sure you’re okay, sweetie? You’re sweating like crazy.” Alison frowned in concern, her hand still against Emily’s cheek.

“I think...I think I might be in shock.” She didn’t recognize the sound of her own voice.

She didn’t even know what real shock felt like. Was _this_ shock? Why hadn’t she felt it after what had happened in the hotel? Why was her body shutting down on her now?

She felt her legs giving out beneath her, but she managed to use the car to support her weight as she slowly slid down to the ground, her back against the driver’s side door. She felt the nausea returning, so she buried her face in her hands.

Alison opened the back door and reached into a cooler, grabbing a bottle of water.

“Here. Drink.” She leaned down, offering the cool water to Emily.

Emily sipped on the beverage at first, but the instant it hit her tongue her entire body started craving more. It washed away the sour taste in her mouth. She slowly chugged it, letting the refreshing taste clear her senses.

She felt like a robot. She didn’t remember Alison helping her up. She didn’t remember walking over to the passenger’s side of the car. She didn’t remember buckling her seat belt. She didn’t remember Alison talking to her on the drive back to Rosewood.

It was like she blinked and they were out of New York and at Rosewood General Hospital.

Everything suddenly hit her, a weight crushing her chest. She stared at the doors of the hospital. It was like a monster waiting to devour her. She looked down and saw Alison’s hand in hers. She tried to open her mouth to tell her ‘thank you’, but she couldn’t find the words.

Alison simply nodded in understanding.

They roamed the halls until they found the waiting area. There were a few people strewn about. Emily spotted her mother sitting in a corner, staring into space. Emily let her hand fall away from Alison’s as she walked forward. Her legs felt like jelly. Her lungs felt like they were going to explode.

Her mom looked up at her, her eyes puffy and red from crying. She still had streaks where the tears had been running down her cheeks. She didn’t have the energy to stand up.

Emily sat down next to her. Pam turned towards her, tears in her eyes. Emily didn’t say a word. She just put her hand on top of her mother’s hand.

And she did something she rarely ever did.

She prayed.


	31. Moody Blues

* * *

**Chapter 31:**

**Moody Blues**

Most of March was rainy and miserable. It added to the somber mood swings that Emily was going through, though she did her best to hide her baby blues. Despite everything she was going through she was trying to remain positive. She couldn’t let the unwavering sadness in, because she didn’t know if she had the energy to fight it.

She focused a lot on boxing. Jake was still training with her. He knew she needed it after everything she’d gone through. They were taking the proper precautions. They focused on her breathing, which would eventually help with the childbirth, and her hand-eye-coordination.

Wilden’s arrest had been the talk of the town since they’d gotten back from New York. He’d been transferred from New York to stand trial in Pennsylvania, though he had a mountain of charges against him in New York, too. Video evidence had come to light showing that he was the one who started the fire in the hotel. The hard evidence against him was enough for the judge to deny bail, especially now that they knew he was a flight risk.

Emily’s mother had been so preoccupied that she hadn’t even processed that her daughter had been in the same hotel as Wilden. Her mother had been a mess since that night. Emily had forced herself to hold it together. She internalized everything.

Alison was still dealing with the shock of being stabbed and nearly plummeting to her death, but she’d bent over backwards to be there for Emily. She was pushing her emotions deep down inside.

Emily was staring outside her window at the grey skies. Droplets of rain were drizzling down the glass. She watched a drop trickle down, dancing as gravity pulled it lower. It was how she felt lately. Not only because of her dad, but because she felt like she’d failed Alison and her baby because they hadn’t gotten the answers she was hoping for in New York.

The looming danger that threatened them was like a force pulling her underwater. She watched as the raindrop dissipated into a puddle against the window pane.

She heard a tapping noise. It took her a few minutes to realize that it wasn’t the rain padding against the house. She heard the knocking again and then the sound of her door creaking open.

“Em? We need to get going or we’re going to be late.” Alison stepped into her room.

Emily turned around. Alison was wearing a simple black skirt and a white blouse. It was the most formal thing the blonde owned. All of her other clothes were sultry and sexy. She had toned down her jewelry as well, opting to wear a simple pair of pearl earrings and the charm bracelet that Emily had gotten her for Valentine’s Day. Emily wasn’t used to seeing her dress down.

“Right.” Emily tried to shake herself out of her mood.

She walked over to Alison, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her black maternity dress pants fit over her belly. She was wearing a long white flowery shirt. She hated it, but it covered her stomach. She grabbed a dressy coat her mother had laid out for her for the finishing touch. It added layers to the outfit and made the baby bump nearly disappear. The outfit was not her style, but she had to wear it.

She was at a point where she was tired of hiding the pregnancy. She was planning to get it out in the open soon. She was tired of secrets. They just made life more complicated. And sometimes they were deadly.

Her phone buzzed. She looked around for it for a few seconds before she realized she was holding it in her hand. She looked at the screen and saw a message from Isaac.

**_How are you?_ **

He had been checking in on her twice a week, both about the baby and about how she was holding up. He was still finding his footing with their boundaries.

He’d been staying with his friends because he was fed up with his family. He was so pissed at them for what they’d done. They’d been just as culpable in keeping the baby a secret from him. What they’d done was worse than what Emily had done. Because his parents were adults. They were supposed to be trusted role models that kids could go to for advice. Instead, they’d betrayed him. But he was trying to go easy on slandering his parents because he knew what Emily was going through.

Emily peered at the screen.

She’d been hearing from a lot of people over the past several weeks. Friends checking in. Relatives she hardly ever spoke to reaching out to her.

Maya had texted, too.

**_My folks told me about your dad. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you. You holding up okay? Need anything?_ **

Emily had sent her a quick text back to let her know she appreciated it, but that she was fine. They’d left it at that. They had both moved on. Emily never thought she’d get to a point in her life when she thought of Maya without her heart aching, but seeing her had closed a chapter in her life. Maya seemed to feel the same.

Emily stared at Maya’s old message and then scrolled back up to Isaac’s message. Alison saw her looking at her phone.

“Isaac?” She guessed.

“Yeah.”

Alison tried to keep a neutral expression on her face. She was used to Emily and Isaac talking. She knew that he was wavering on what to do, and she knew that Emily wanted her in the delivery room with her. Emily had picked _her_. It’s the only thing that kept her from flying off the handle.

“Did you tell him you’re starting Lamaze classes?” Alison paused at the mirror next to Emily, staring at her reflection. She smoothed a stray piece of frizzy hair down on her head, nearly catching a charm from her bracelet in her hair.

Emily moved behind Alison and reached up to straighten her hair, smiling at her in the mirror. Their height difference was barely noticeable with Alison in heels.

“He offered to pay for half the cost.”

“On a bus-boy’s salary?” Alison asked with intrigue.

“He tutors kids, too. He’s a smart guy.” Emily shrugged. “Intellectually, at least. He couldn’t see that his girlfriend was checking out other girls when it was happening right in front of him, but he can tell you how a cell divides and all about mitochondria.”

She leaned her chin on the top of Alison’s head and wrapped her arms around her waist. Alison smiled timidly at their image in the mirror. No matter how dire the circumstances, she couldn’t help but smile when she was with Emily.

Alison cleared her throat and reached up to flatten a wrinkle she saw in her blouse. The formal clothes felt foreign to her.

“Is this okay?” She pressed her fingers against the shirt.

“It’s fine.” Emily nodded, reassuring her.

“I’ve never done this before.” Alison turned around to face her girlfriend.

“Me either.” Emily replied with a solemn look on her face.

Alison didn’t miss the faraway look in her sad brown eyes. They had both had their fair share of struggles since the weekend in New York. Emily had managed to remain a pillar of strength, but at the same time she had shut a part of herself down in self-preservation.

She’d been doting on Alison since that night, making sure her injuries were healing and making sure that she wasn’t burying the trauma of nearly plummeting to her death. Alison knew it was just her way of coping. Emily’s first instinct was to take care of her loved ones. She hadn’t once asked for help. They hadn’t talked at all about how she was doing.

Alison could see a distant expression of unease and sorrow in her tense face. Her eyes had a strange glaze. It was like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Alison reached up to touch Emily’s cheek, snapping her out of her daze. Emily’s eyes immediately met Alison’s.

“You know I’m here for you, right?” Alison put her other hand against Emily’s side.

Emily mirrored Alison’s actions, putting her warm palm against Alison’s neck and her other hand against her hip. She wordlessly replied by leaning forward and pressing her lips against Alison’s. She pulled back with a quiet smile and straightened a strand of Alison’s hair that was astray.

“I’m here for you, too.” She lowered her head to meet Alison’s forehead. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

When she opened them back up she looked exhausted. Alison rubbed her thumbs underneath Emily’s eyes. She could see the sullen dark circles underneath them.

“You haven’t been sleeping.” Alison’s eyes narrowed in concern.

“It’s hard to get comfortable,” Emily said. “And my bladder is the size of a walnut at this point. It’s normal.” She tried to shake it off with a smile, but Alison saw beyond her act.

“That’s not why.” Alison rubbed her arm. “You haven’t talked much since everything happened that weekend.” She sat down against the edge of Emily’s bed, pulling her to sit next to her. “You don’t have to hold it in, you know.”

Emily pursed her lips in thought. There was a lot she wanted to say, but she didn’t know where to begin.

“I have had so much loss in my life.” Emily reached out and touched Alison’s hand. “I don’t want you to become part of that. Today is just a reminder of what I stand to lose if things go sideways.” She squeezed Alison’s hand. “That psycho is still out there. I think about it all the time.” She peered at the blonde. “You want to know what’s on my mind?” She reached up and gripped Alison’s chin, cradling it in her fingers. “You.” She stroked her face. “Because you’re part of my family, Alison. You know that, right?”

Alison’s throat felt like it was closing up. Sometimes the simplest words made her freeze up in the most wonderful way. Emily had that power over her.

“You’re my family, too.” Alison smiled. “That’s why I’m so worried.”

“You’re right that we haven’t talked.” Emily slowly lowered her hand. “I know it’s been intense these past few weeks. I haven’t forgotten what you went through that night.” Emily put her palm against the healing cut in Alison’s side. “I haven’t forgotten what you did for us. And I know it’s taking a toll on you, too. I know I’m not the only one losing sleep.”

“I’m fine, Em. I promise.” She sold her confidence to the best of her ability, but Emily saw right through it.

Emily had seen the changes in Alison since her brutal brush with death. She’d seen the haunted look in Alison’s eyes. But there was a fire burning over it, because she was letting her anger at Wilden take the lead. It was easier than facing the trauma. They hadn’t had a chance to deal with Alison’s ordeal because of what had happened with Emily’s father.

“I’m good.” Alison added for emphasis. But it was a little too much emphasis.

“I don’t think you are.” Emily sighed. She laced her fingers through Alison’s.

“I’m a lot tougher than I look.” Alison’s lip twitched. It was a bluff...a tell that Emily could see.

“You were crying in your sleep three nights ago.” It had broken Emily’s heart to hear her weeping. All she’d been able to do was hold her and whisper that she loved her. “You jump every time a door opens. You stripped out of your shirt the other day because you felt like it was choking you. You almost punched your reflection yesterday…”

“Bitch had it coming.” Alison tried to make her laugh.

Emily cracked a smile and shook her head.

“Watch it. That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.” Emily retorted. Alison smiled and rubbed her shoulder. Emily smiled sweetly at her. “We can joke all day every day, but we still have to talk about it. What happened in New York was horrible. It’s okay if you’re having trouble dealing.”

Alison had spent her entire life sheltered in the confines of affluence with the illusion of invincibility. It’s how she’d ruled Rosewood for so long.

Emily knew that even though the blonde had her own trauma in the form of people like Ian and Wilden, she’d never been that close to death before. She had never experienced anything that perilous.

Little creases formed in Alison’s forehead. Her lips were tight and her gaze was tense. She shuddered. She remembered every second of the nightmare.

“The nightmare wasn’t about what happened on the roof.” Alison slowly looked up at Emily. “We were trapped in that house and there was this…shadowy figure. I couldn’t see anything except the red coat. You were in labor. We were forced apart. I could hear you calling out for me, but I couldn’t get to you. And when I finally did escape I wasn’t able to get into the room, but I could see through a crack in the door.”

She flinched and her voice trembled. Emily could see her entire body tensing up. Her hands were balled into tightly wound fists.

“I saw a pair of hands covered in blood holding a scalpel and cutting you open and then the baby being ripped out of you. You laid there bleeding out as your daughter cried for you. I couldn’t get in.”

She lifted her hands, looking at them as if though they’d betrayed her. She flipped them over and peered at her knuckles.

“I beat on the door. I clawed. I screamed. The baby stopped crying and it scared the hell out of me. So I rammed the door with my shoulder until I finally managed to break through. But I was too late.” Her eyes were filled with tears. “My nightmare wasn’t about _my_ death. It was about yours. It was about losing both of you.”

Emily slid her hand up against Alison’s spine and rubbed her back. She could feel her shaking. The nightmare had really done a number on her.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. That house…” Alison glanced at her. “All of it. It was all so creepy. It scares me. Because we don’t know what else this person is going to do. They’re not playing high school games anymore. Whoever is doing this is _really_ sick in the head.”

Finding her clothes had successfully made Alison uncomfortable in her own skin, and it was making her more neurotic about something happening to Emily.

“I’m sorry you’re caught up in this mess.” Emily’s hand slipped up underneath her hair and against the nape of her neck. “This is what I was afraid of,” she said softly.

“What do you mean?” Alison faced her.

“When we first started dating I asked you if this was too much for you…”

“And I told you it wasn’t…” Alison frowned.

“You didn’t let me finish.” Emily cut her off. “I wasn’t asking for you. I was asking because I was _afraid_ for you. I was afraid I was going to steer your life so far off-course that it would make the Titanic’s journey look _good_. I knew _then_ how much you loved me. And I felt selfish, because I wanted us to be together even though I knew I was going to screw up your life…”

“You haven’t screwed _anything_ up.” Alison reached for her hand.

“You’re having nightmares because of the complications in my life. And you’re taking unnecessary risks.” Emily cupped Alison’s hand in between her warm palms. Alison’s charm bracelet made a tinkling sound as the charms clinked together. “I don’t want you to keep doing that. Because after everything…after all this…I can’t lose you. And I’m afraid that this is only going to get worse, and I won’t be able to protect you.” She licked her lips nervously. “I couldn’t protect my dad.” Emily looked away to try and hide her pain.

Alison felt a twinge of pain in her chest. _That’s_ what she’d been holding in. Of course it circled back to Wayne. She knew how guilty Emily felt, even though the girl had done nothing to feel guilty about.

“Em, you couldn’t have known.” She put her free hand on top of their enclosed hands.

“I should have. All the signs were there.” Her throat bobbed, her voice tremoring.

“You can’t blame yourself for that. The second you start doing that you’ll never be able to come back from it.” Her fingers grazed Emily’s cheek. “And I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

Alison had a determined look on her face. It was the same expression she had when she was dead set on getting her way about something. Emily knew there was no use in arguing.

“I’m really lucky to have you.” Emily laid her hand against Alison’s knee. “I love you.”

Alison always felt special when Emily said it, especially when she said it first. Emily showed her every day how much she loved her, but hearing her say it was like a natural form of dopamine, a shot of endorphins directly into her veins.

“I love you, too.” She tilted her head and leaned in for a kiss.

Emily met her without hesitation. She cradled Alison’s cheek at the same moment that Alison put her palm against Emily’s face. They slowly fell back against the mattress mid-kiss.

Their bodies were naturally angled towards one another on their sides. The kiss didn’t turn into anything more. They both knew it was about comfort. Alison had learned the difference between their sexual touches and the emotional ones. Sometimes they were one in the same, but she knew when it was purely about the act of simply being there.

Emily stared into Alison’s eyes as she softly ran her fingers against her cheek. Alison was left paralyzed by her beautiful sienna eyes. She could see the story of their lives, past and present, in her eyes.

She thought about the day at the wishing well. Emily had seemed so sure of what she wanted. It’s like she’d been waiting her entire life to make one particular wish. She’d confirmed it on Valentine’s Day, but sometimes it still felt unreal to Alison.

“Did you really wish for me?” Alison reached up and put her hand on Emily’s broad shoulder, scooching closer to her.

Emily kissed her forehead and smiled at her.

“Every day of my life.” She moved Alison’s hair out of her face and then laid her arm across Alison’s waist, letting her fingers fall lazily against her skirt. “You are so special to me.”

Blood rushed to Alison’s cheeks. She automatically moved closer to the brunette. Their faces were inches apart. They locked eyes.

In that moment it felt like they were the only two people in the world. It alleviated the stress and the pain and grief.

“I’m only special because I have you.” Alison pecked her lips, the tips of their noses tickling one another. “There wouldn’t me a ‘me’ without you. Because you’ve got my heart. You always have.” She reached up and put her hand in between Emily’s ever-growing bosom. “I mean it. I’ve never met anyone more beautiful, inside and out.” She moved her palm down against Emily’s stomach. “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Because then you could see just how amazingly extraordinary you are.”

She was an extraordinary girlfriend, woman, and mother. She was a wonderful friend. A generous lover. She was the most beautifully unique person Alison had ever met.

“When I say I love you, Emily, I mean I love _all_ of you. Just like you love all of me. We fit. Our broken pieces fit. And I don’t take what we have for granted.”

“I know.” Emily smiled, resting her forehead against Alison’s. “I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything.” The girl was her sunrise, her sunset, and everything in between. “The moment we met you had my heart. And it’s yours. Forever. So when I say I love you I want you to know that I mean I always have. And I always will.”

“This is us.” Alison pressed a chaste kiss against her lips while massaging her baby bump. “This is who we’ll always be…no matter what’s happening outside of our lives. Our love is the only thing that matters.”

Emily nodded in agreement. She felt her daughter moving and stretching out in her stomach. It was uncomfortable at first. Alison noticed Emily squirming, curling her lips in discomfort. She put her palm against her side and grunted.

Alison started humming, but she kept her eyes trained on Emily’s. Emily recognized the bars from one of her dad’s favorite songs by Phil Collins. The blonde quietly started to sing.

“ _Wouldn’t you agree, baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love._ ” She slowly snaked down Emily’s body until she was in front of her baby bump. She grasped either side of Emily’s belly and softly sang some more, tweaking the lyrics. “ _When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do is put my hand on you, then I’m not so blue. When you’re in our arms nothing will seem to matter. Our whole world could shatter. I don’t care…cuz wouldn’t you agree, you, your mom, and me have a groovy kind of love_.”

The baby started to settle as Alison sang to her. Emily watched Alison with a smile on her face. Her lullabies were quickly becoming a set routine with the three of them.

“Didn’t know you were on an 80s kick.” Emily put her hands against Alison’s cheeks and gently pulled her up towards her face again, kissing her. “It’s really sweet that you include her.”

Alison cuddled close to the brunette. She traced her fingers over the necklace she’d given Emily. Her index finger landed on the baby’s birthstone.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” Alison sighed happily.

“I love you, babe, but if I had to stay seven months pregnant for the rest of my life I would be a very cranky person.” Emily thrummed her fingers through Alison’s hair, trying not to mess it up.

“I meant safe…in this bed together…as a family. No psycho killers after us. No terror. No pain…” She glanced at Emily. She hid her pain well, but Alison could see glimpses of it. Her dad was her rock. It had been hard for her to deal with her emotions. “I wish that we could exist in this little bubble where no one could hurt us…and we couldn’t be hurt.”

“It would be nice.” Emily nodded absentmindedly.

Alison trailed her fingers against Emily’s knuckles.

“Do you believe in destiny?”

Emily quietly considered the question. She had always believed that even if there were outside forces at play, it was human nature and choices that determined the outcome in life. She had never believed in love at first sight, but she sure as hell experienced _something_ when she fell for Alison.

“I still believe we write our own story. Maybe destiny is a part of it. And how we react to it makes it _our_ story. We hold the pen in our lives.” She touched Alison’s hip, trying to straighten her skirt.

“I should have known you’d say that, Harley Davidson.” Alison tickled her cheek.

“Surprised you remember.” She’d once told Alison that one of her favorite quotes was a Harley Davidson quote, _“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.”_

“I remember most of what you tell me. It important to me. Because you’re important to me.” Alison leaned forward to steal another kiss.

This one was longer and more involved. Emily kissed her deeper. Alison held her tighter. The love that they were exchanging was like a burning energy, leaving them in a quiet state of bliss when they finally pulled away.

Emily found herself hypnotized by the love in Alison’s eyes. They spoke through their expressions and their innocent touches. It gave them a few moments of normalcy: just two girlfriends trading kisses and holding hands in the most pure way.

Alison flashed a timid smile at her. It slowly faded. The somber mood returned when the blonde remembered what was coming.

“We’ll get through this together.” Alison caressed her cheek.

“Yeah…” Emily trailed off, glancing at the ceiling.

There was a brief moment of silence that was interrupted by a loud crash and Pam swearing, something she’d been doing a lot more of lately. It had come from her bedroom.

Emily sat up, pushing herself to the edge of the bed. She stood up.

“She’s been all over the place lately.” Emily glanced at the door, moving towards it. “She’s really mixed up.”

“Rightfully so.” Alison followed Emily out of her bedroom.

They walked to her parents’ room. The door was cracked. Emily lightly knocked as she pushed it forward.

“Mom? You okay?” She peered in and saw her mother kicking a bunch of shoes away from the front of her closet.

“Oh.” Pam spun around, startled by her daughter’s presence. “I’m fine. I just knocked an old box of shoes down trying to reach my scarf.”

She gripped the black and silver scarf in her hand and looked down at the mess at her feet. Emily could see the befuddled look on her face. She walked over to the pile of shoes and leaned down.

“I got it.” Emily glanced up at her mother. “I know you need to finish getting ready.”

She started tossing the spilled footwear back into the plastic bin. They all looked the same. Her mother never strayed from the mundane. Once she had the box full she popped the top on and grabbed the edges. Before she could lift it she felt Alison’s hand against her back.

“Let me…” Alison offered, leaning down next to her.

“I’m good.” Emily waved her off. “It weighs like two pounds. I can bench press two pounds.”

Emily had always been fiercely independent. She didn’t like people fawning over her. She had a hard time letting others pick up the slack.

“Emily, don’t be rude to your girlfriend.” Her mother scowled, flipping a hand at her. “She’s right. You need to stop pushing yourself so hard.”

They stared in shock. Pam had done a complete 180 on their relationship. Sometimes it was hard for them to believe she was the same woman who thought they were being silly and juvenile for planning their future together.

Pam had developed a new sense of appreciation for their special bond. She was still guarded, but she was learning to love and accept Emily…and her relationship with Alison.

After what happened with Wayne she realized that life was short. She didn’t want her daughter to miss out on young love.

Emily glanced at Alison, nodding in approval as she handed the box of shoes over to her. She motioned to show her where it was supposed to go. The blonde lifted the box above her head and put it on the empty space on the top shelf.

Emily kept her eyes on Alison’s tight bicep muscles. She’d been working out more since New York. She had told Emily that she finally understood why exercise helped center her.

Emily shut the closet door just as Pam was putting the finishing touches on her outfit.

“Is it too much?” Pam looked in the mirror. She frowned at herself. “It’s too much,” she said pointedly.

Emily groaned under her breath. Her mother had already changed _three_ times. They were going to be late if she had to start on a new outfit from scratch.

“I think you look perfect, Mrs. Fields.” Alison reached for Emily’s hand, needing the comfort and guidance that the brunette provided.

Talking to Emily’s mother always intimidated the blonde. She felt Emily squeeze her hand in response.

“You’re a sweet girl.” It was another shocker that forced Alison and Emily to trade looks. “But it’s too…flowery. I need something more formal. Maybe I should have gone with the black pantsuit.”

Emily felt like slapping her palm to her head. How many black pieces of clothing did the woman own?

“Mom, you’re fine.” Emily assured her. She looked at her watch.

“This isn’t going to work. I look like I’m going to brunch.” Pam disagreed. “Emmy, would you grab my pantsuit?”

Emily dropped her head and sighed. Her mother had been so spastic, and it was hard to deal with. It stressed her out. She could feel the irritation creeping up her spine. She felt Alison firmly put pressure on her hand, bringing her out of her daze. Emily shot her an appreciative look and then let her hand slide away from Alison’s so she could walk over to her mother.

Instead of chastising her and telling her she was being ridiculous she reached up to straighten her scarf. Then she reached for a bracelet in her jewelry box to tie everything together. She played with her hair, trying to give it a little bounce.

“There.” Emily smiled encouragingly at her, turning her towards the mirror.

Her mother cocked her head in the mirror and looked at her and gave her a cautious laugh.

“Since when do you know how to accessorize?”

“Since I ran into Hanna Marin my first week back in town.” Emily reached for a set of earrings her father had gotten her for Christmas two years ago.

Pam put the earrings in and glanced in the mirror again. She sighed.

“I know it’s been a tough couple of weeks…”

Heavy footsteps interrupted her as her father padded out of the bathroom.

“Hey, what’s taking so long?” He glanced at the girls, straightening his tie.

Ever since the heart attack he’d been moving a little slower, but he hadn’t lost his sense of whimsy or his sense of humor. He’d lost a little bit of weight, but was otherwise physically fine.

It had been a terrifying experience. He’d spent three days in the hospital. Pam never left his side. He was on the road to recovery, but Emily and her mother were still worried.

Despite the fact that Emily had her apartment ready she’d been spending more time at home. She knew her dad was on the mend. She knew he was getting better. And she knew he could take care of himself. Her reluctance to leave had nothing to do with his recovery.

At first, the doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on with him, but after he had blood panels done they realized that he had triple the amount of the therapeutic dose of his heart medication in his bloodstream. They thought it was a miscalculation of the dosage of his medicine. But Emily knew better. She’d gotten a text that had proved it.

**_Keep at it and you’ll REALLY break daddy dearest’s heart…_ **

An image had flashed on her screen for two seconds. A picture of her father’s pill bottle. It had been taken from inside her parent’s bathroom.

She had been by her father’s bedside when she got the message. It had made her physically ill. She’d ended up in the bathroom puking. She told her mom it was morning sickness.

On the plus side, the messages had stopped. She hadn’t gotten one since then. Because she had stopped digging. Her father’s near death experience had made her step back and reassess everything.

“What’s going on in here? You playing fashion show on the catwalk?” Wayne asked, wrapping his arms around Pam’s waist.

“It’s her third outfit.” Emily smiled through her frustration.

“It’s a preliminary court proceeding, Ma. Not a funeral.” Wayne leaned over and pecked her cheek.

“It’s ridiculous is what it is.” Pam huffed out angrily. “That man did unspeakable things and they have _proof_ of it. He followed our daughter to New York. Who knows what he was planning? This court proceeding is a damn joke. The bastard deserves to rot in his cell.”

Emily and Alison glanced at one another. Emily raised her brows in intrigue. Her mother wasn’t one to swear, especially in front of people. She’d despised Darren Wilden since the allegations of his harassment of underage girls had been exposed months ago, but she was out for his blood since he’d gone after Emily and Alison in New York.

“So…are you glad I punched him now?” Emily asked.

“You know what?” Her mother spun around in her heels. “Yes. Yes, I am.” Emily couldn’t help but smile. “It’s infuriating that he’s trying to cypher money from this. We’re lucky that Veronica Hastings stepped up to do this for us pro bono…”

Emily had Spencer and Toby to thank for that. As soon as they heard that Wilden’s lawyer was trying to discredit Emily and Alison as witnesses the two of them had immediately gone to Spencer’s mom to ask her for help.

“Alison, will you be riding with us or are your parents taking you?” Wayne questioned.

Alison looked at the floor anxiously. Her parents had wanted nothing to do with the drama. It was bad for their image. Instead they’d hired a lawyer to take care of it.

“They’re not coming.” Alison shyly met the older man’s eyes. She saw a twinge of sympathy in them. “My brother is on his way to the courthouse. He promised he’d meet me there.”

Pam frowned in disapproval. She opened her mouth to say something, but Wayne interrupted her.

“We’ve got a seat reserved for you in the SS Fields. We’ll even let you choose the music.” Wayne offered.

“Don’t go crazy, dad.” Emily threw her hands up jokingly. “I highly doubt you want to listen to Gaga all the way to the courthouse.”

“Are you kidding? Lady G gets me through work most nights.” He started humming _A Million Reasons_ , which made Alison and Emily both crack up. “Why don’t you girls go grab some breakfast? We’ll be right down.”

Emily and Alison walked out of the bedroom. Alison strayed ahead of Emily. Emily lingered behind. She was just close enough to hear her mother’s muttered snapping.

“That poor girl. It’s unacceptable. I’d like to go over there and give her mother a piece of my mind. Her daughter was _assaulted_ by this monster. And she’s just leaving her to deal with it alone? If he’d hurt Emily we wouldn’t even have to bother with court because I would have run him over with my car. And Jessica can’t even show up for her daughter? God, I knew that woman was self-involved, but I had no idea…”

Emily heard the bedroom door close, cutting off the conversation. She could hear their voices, but not what they were saying. Her mother sounded pissed.

Emily had a whole new appreciation for her mother. She understood what it felt like to have a maternal instinct that strong. She’d tear the world apart for her child.

She had also come to the realization that parents weren’t perfect. Her mom certainly wasn’t. She wasn’t either. She’d made a lot of mistakes and her daughter hadn’t even been born yet.

She understood her mother’s frustration. She also hated Alison’s parents for abandoning their daughter when she needed them the most. She’d never abandon her baby.

It made sense to Emily why Alison was so attached to her daughter. It made sense that she had such a deep profound love for her. She had been dealing with parents who didn’t care about her since she was a child.

As she walked down the stairs to meet Alison in the kitchen she made a silent promise to her daughter that she would always be there for her. She didn’t take into account what might happen if she wasn’t around to protect her.

* * *

Emily got a text message on the way to the courthouse. Her phone vibrated from her pocket. She reached for it, suddenly remembering she’d never gotten back to Isaac. She thought it was him. But instead she saw the unknown number.

**_I’ll be watching today. If you or Legally Blonde breathes a word about me I’ll make sure it’s the last breaths you two ever take._ **

Alison peered at her in curiosity. She had assumed it was Isaac, too, but then she saw the look on Emily’s face. The color had drained from her cheeks.

Emily tilted the screen so Alison could see the message. Alison’s eyes widened. There was a flash of anger on her face, but she kept her composure.

Emily glanced at the phone again. Her dad looked in the rearview mirror and saw her staring at it.

“Phone up, kiddo,” he said in a stern voice. “Veronica said you can’t talk to your friends about the trial.”

“It’s not that.” Emily bluffed. “It’s just a reminder I set to take my prenatals.”

“Do you need some water?” Her mom asked.

“What?” Emily asked in confusion.

“For your vitamins.” She turned around.

“Uh…no. I remembered to take them before we left the house.” She looked away. Lying to her mother had always felt like a sin, which was ironic considering she’d spent years lying to her about who she was.

She put her phone away. Alison was clenching her fists. Emily reached over and put her hand on top of Alison’s shaking fist. All Alison had to do was look into her calm brown eyes to qualm the anger.

When they reached the courthouse they tried to compose themselves. The court proceeding was a last ditch effort to get Wilden’s charges reduced.

Alison’s lawyer was a seasoned no-nonsense defense attorney from the Bronx named Linda Tanner. She was licensed to practice law in five of the upper-east side states, including New York and Pennsylvania. But she didn’t hold a candle to Spencer’s mother, Veronica. They were working together. Both women were ready to go in and rip Wilden and his attorney to shreds.

Pam and Jason both went in ready to fight, too. Pam was fired up. Jason was pissed. Veronica and Linda were briefing everyone on what was going to happen in the pre-trial.

Emily could see her mother shaking with rage. She saw her father reach out to touch her hand to try and calm her. Pam’s frustration built to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore. The normally reserved older woman blew her top when Veronica started talking about the ways Wilden’s lawyer was going to try and discredit Emily as a credible witness.

“They have _evidence_ that he followed the girls to New York! How can he get away with this?” Pam’s cheeks were flushed in anger.

“I know it’s frustrating, but this is all part of it. New York isn’t even going to come into play unless we can proceed with the trial. Today is about what happened at Rosewood High. Those are the charges they are disputing. They’re going to do everything they can to stall because they know they’re screwed. The judge will rule in our favor. I’m confident it’s going to go to trial.” Veronica assured Pam.

“The system is a fucking joke.” Jason muttered under his breath. “They should bring back vigilante justice. Let the families of the girls he harassed have some time alone with him. See what happens.”

“Jason.” Alison hissed, trying to shut him up.

The last thing she needed was for her brother to end up in jail for terroristic threats, _especially_ since he had a record.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Linda shot a disapproving glance at Jason.

He rolled his eyes and put his hands up in submission to let her know he didn’t mean it, but he glanced at Alison and Emily with a look that told them he really _did_ mean it. Emily didn’t doubt he’d beat the shit out of Wilden, especially since he’d unleashed on Ian.

“I withdraw my statement,” his tone was oozing with sarcasm.

“Emily, they’re going to bring up the fact that you hit him on school grounds,” Veronica looked at the brunette. “They will also try to smear you as being reckless…” Her eyes drifted down towards her stomach.

The bump was starting to become visible, though she was still hiding it. Emily squirmed uncomfortably. She’d had to disclose her pregnancy to Veronica after she’d taken on the case.

“She wasn’t being reckless. She was defending me.” Alison argued.

“I understand that, but they will still say that it was an unprovoked attack. Self-defense doesn’t go into effect unless there is proof that he was trying to physically harm you. They have statements with sworn affidavits from witnesses that say he didn’t instigate it.”

It really stoked the fire of Alison’s anger that Wilden was attacking Emily. The man had done terrible things to dozens of girls. He didn’t deserve a trial. He deserved to be executed.

“He’d still be running around hurting girls if it wasn’t for Emily!” The blonde raised her voice. “He’s the one who threatened her…” She felt Emily’s hand clasp hers and she looked over at her.

There was a serious expression in her dark brown eyes, a warning telling her not to say anything else, not at the expense of anyone’s life. Linda was writing something down in her notes, but Veronica caught the interaction. She pursed her lips in thought.

Alison quickly tried to backtrack.

“I mean…he pushed her into a table. He tried to hurt her. Everyone knows he’s a monster…”

“We have to convince the jury of that when it goes to trial or…”

“This is so unfair!” Alison cut her lawyer off. “He’s been harassing girls for _years_. He _stalked_ us. He was going to kill us. He’s a creep and a psychopath who deserves to be ripped apart by feral dogs.”

Her lawyer could have shut her up, but instead she let Alison continue her tirade for several minutes. Alison was so upset that she jumped to her feet and started ranting.

Jason lifted his brow, amused at her outburst considering she was trying to shut him up earlier. He was impressed at her conviction.

He leaned back in his chair and watched with his arms across his chest, as if to say, _“That’s my sister.”_ They were different in a lot of ways, but they certainly shared the same temper.

Pam and Wayne shared an exchange, unsure of what to do. Veronica started to shush her, but Linda held her hand up and shook her head.

It was Emily who finally got through to her. She tugged on Alison’s hand, pulling her back into her chair. Alison sank down in the seat. She bounced her knee and tried to steady her breath.

She felt Emily moving their joined hands underneath the table, pulling Alison’s hand towards her.

Emily pushed Alison’s palm against her baby bump, putting her warm hand on top of Alison’s to hold Alison’s palm in place. Alison looked up at her and locked eyes with the brunette.

Emily knew that the only way to reach her was through the baby. She gave her an encouraging nod which reminded Alison to breathe. The entire encounter was so subtle that no one in the room saw it.

“You done?” Linda questioned.

Alison kept her eyes on Emily’s for a brief second, but then she pried her gaze away to face the lawyer. She swallowed hard. She felt like screaming. The older woman’s face softened for a brief moment.

“Alison, you can’t get emotional in there. They’ll feed on that. Do what you’ve got to do in this room, but once we get in front of that judge you sit there with your mouth shut unless I tell you to talk. Do you understand me?”

Alison nodded. She was still steaming. She hated that Emily was going to be attacked, though she knew the brunette could handle it. Emily was already handling it a whole hell of a lot better than she was handling it.

“Emily, you remember everything we’ve talked about, right?” Veronica asked.

“I do.” Emily replied. Her face remained stoic. She’d been practicing her neutral look for days.

“Do you have any questions?” Veronica closed her binder and slid it off of the table.

Emily hesitated for a moment. Everyone in the room knew about the pregnancy except for Jason. She glanced at Alison’s brother. He had a hard gaze fixed on the wall, like he was trying to concentrate on not saying something stupid.

“Are they going to bring up personal things?” Her voice was perfectly calm.

The question was enough to warrant Jason’s attention. He tried to look disinterested so he wouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable, but she could see the curiosity in his eyes.

“It’s possible, but they might not. They might save it for the trial.” Veronica answered.

It wouldn’t be a problem by then, because that was months away. The baby would already be born. She wouldn’t be hiding anymore.

Emily’s mother asked several more follow up questions about the court proceeding. Emily and Alison focused on one another.

When it came time for them to go into the judge’s chambers they led Emily and her family out first. She gave Alison’s hand a squeeze and gave her an encouraging look.

Linda went to get a drink of water, leaving Jason and Alison alone. Alison leaned forward, plopping her elbows against the table. Jason looked around the room.

“I haven’t seen the inside of a courtroom since I stole that _Stop_ sign four years ago.” He slowly made eye contact with his little sister.

She rolled her eyes with a laugh.

“What was that street name you wanted so badly? I forgot.”

“Blunt Street.”

“Of course it was.” Another laugh. She smiled at him. “God, we’re a pair, aren’t we? You think mom and dad are ready to abandon us at a fire station yet?”

“Are you kidding? That’s way too low-brow for them. They’d be selling us to the highest bidder to make a profit.” Jason cupped her shoulder, squeezing it.

The motion was comforting to her. Alison was glad he’d showed up.

“Thank you for being here.” Alison glanced up at him.

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Jason pulled his hand back. He rolled his knuckles against his fingers and cracked them. “Did that fucker really try to throw you off of a building?”

Everyone around them believed that Wilden had followed them out to New York because he was still pissed at them for getting him fired and arrested. No one knew about the threats.

“I would have died if Emily hadn’t pulled me up.” Alison pushed the chair out, suddenly feeling small and trapped. She faced her brother. “He went after Emily with a knife, too.”

She didn’t tell him about being stabbed. She knew he wouldn’t be able to contain his rage.

He didn’t say anything, but his anger was palpable. He walked over to a wooden bench sitting against the wall. He plopped down and buried his face in his hands. He curled the tips of his fingers into his shaggy locks. Alison walked over and sat down next to him.

“I brought that douchebag into our lives.” Jason huffed, leaning back against the bench. “I brought _Ian_ into our lives. They were my _friends_.” He slowly lifted his eyes to meet her gaze. “I put you in these situations.”

“No.” Alison put her hand on his knee. “ _They_ did this. Not you.”

Jason shot her an appreciative smile.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more.”

“You’re here now.” Alison shrugged.

She leaned up against him and wrapped her arms around his large bulging bicep. She leaned her head against his shoulder. She stayed curled up against him for a few minutes before she pulled away. She didn’t want to wrinkle his sports jacket.

“So…” Jason straightened his sleeve. “How far along is she?” He saw the perplexed look on Alison’s face. “Don’t look at me like that. I may be an idiot manchild…” As she’d so aptly called him over the years, “…but I’m not _that_ stupid.”

“You can’t tell anyone…”

“Alison, I’ve known for a month. Overheard you two talking about it one day. At first I thought you were talking about the future, but then I caught a glimpse of her belly a few days later. She buries it well under her clothes, but after that conversation…I knew.”

Alison’s lips curled into an “o” shape.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Didn’t think it was my place. Didn’t know if you wanted me to know.” He brushed a speck of smudge off of his pants. “I thought you’d tell me when you wanted to tell me.”

Alison cocked her head. That was the most respectful thing he’d ever said. He gave her a half-hearted smile.

“When she rolled up on to our street on that motorcycle I thought mom was going to start clutching her pearls and talking about how the value of the neighborhood was going to go down. A little part of me was hoping you were going to date her out of spite.” He admitted.

“That just turned out to be an added bonus.” Alison smirked. Pissing off her parents was her favorite pastime.

“I never would have guessed that biker babe was having a biker baby.” He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to smooth it down before they walked into the judge’s chamber. “How long have you known?”

“She told me a couple of weeks after she moved here. She’s due in late May.” Alison slid her fingertips against the edge of the bench. She had a goofy smile on her face. “It’s a little girl.”

It was wild to think about meeting Emily’s baby. She had spent so much time getting to know her in the womb. She wondered if the little girl would recognize her voice…her face. She wondered if she’d know how much she was loved.

“Two months.” He whistled as he lifted his brows in surprise. “Happy graduation.”

“Best graduation gift ever.” Alison could picture a tiny little bundle of joy in her arms.

“You know…I always thought if someone was going to bring home a pregnant girl it would be me.” He gave her a teasing shove.

“Shut up.” She laughed as she socked him in the arm.

He chuckled and put his hands up in defense. For a few brief moments they both forgot where they were. He saw something on his little sister’s face. He could see a spark in her eyes. The way she gushed about the baby wasn’t just her being curious and eager. She wasn’t just in love with Emily. She was in love with Emily’s daughter.

His expression tensed. He knew it was a huge responsibility. He also knew that Alison had a tendency to latch on and get overly invested in things. She’d been in search of a family for so long. She’d gone as far as creating her little pseudo-family with her clique at school. But even then she hadn’t seemed happy. Emily made her happy in a way that he’d never quite seen before.

“You thought this through?” he asked.

Alison nodded. If anyone else had asked her she would have been annoyed at the question, but Jason’s sincerity was rooted in his concern for her well-being. She didn’t have many people in her life like her brother.

“I can’t explain it.” Alison’s face widened in a huge grin. She took in a joyous breath through her nose. “It’s like this child has a part of my heart, and I haven’t even met her yet.” She paused thoughtfully, thinking about all the stages she’d watched throughout Emily’s pregnancy. “I’ve seen her in my dreams. I’ve felt her move. I’ve seen her heartbeat. I’ve watched her mother grow and become this wonderful woman…and I am so in love with them both that I can hardly stand it.”

Jason had a thoughtful look on his face as he processed it. Alison was worried that he was preparing a speech about how they were too young or how the dream would be shattered when they were dealing with a colicky baby in the middle of the night. Instead, he just nodded his head and put his hand on top of hers.

“I’m happy for you. I’m glad that you two found each other.”

His response was so kind and so genuine that it took a minute for Alison to let it sink in. She wordlessly reached out and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. He wrapped his burly arm around her and pulled her closer.

Their moment was interrupted by Linda. She opened the door and motioned for them to follow her. They joined everyone else in the chamber.

Wilden was dressed up in a three piece suit. Alison wanted to reach out and grab the tie around his neck and strangle him with it. She had expected him to be in prison garb and shackled to the chair. But of course he had all the privileges and luxuries in the world afforded to him.

He gave her a callous look when she walked in. She felt like jumping down his throat, but then she looked at Emily, who was calmly sitting with her parents and Veronica. She realized Emily probably hadn’t even dignified making eye contact with him.

Alison sat down with Linda, who shot her one last warning look urging her to keep her mouth shut.

It wasn’t easy, but Alison did exactly what she was told. She only answered when she was prompted to answer and she only answered with the pre-written statements that Linda had prepared.

It got significantly harder when they started taking potshots at Emily. They tried to paint her as a rebellious bad seed. Alison had to dig her fingernails into her thighs to keep from screaming at Wilden’s lawyer.

The debate got heated when his lawyer realized that they weren’t going to be able to keep Alison and Emily from testifying at his trial. He desperately pleaded with the judge, trying to turn everything around on them.

“My client alleges that Alison DiLaurentis and Emily Fields have been harassing him and stalking him ever since he was dismissed from his job at Rosewood High School…”

“ _Fired_ ,” Alison uttered.

She saw Linda shoot her an angry glare. She had to resist sticking her tongue out at the woman.

_Worth it._

She saw Wilden look at her and it made her skin crawl. He looked pleased with himself. His eyes darted to the charm bracelet on her wrist. He looked at it like a dog salivating over a bone. It was creepy. She instinctively moved her hand out of sight and covered the jewelry with her other hand.

“Miss DiLaurentis allegedly took videos of him.” Wilden’s lawyer accused. “He believes they are obsessed with him. That _they_ followed _him_ to New York…”

“You’re trying to discredit them knowing that your client was under court order not to leave the state.” Veronica came in hard and fast, laughing darkly. “This argument has absolutely no basis.”

She didn’t let up. The claws came out. The judge denied Wilden’s request to keep them out of the courtroom. When Wilden’s lawyer refused to relent, Veronica coolly stood up and faced him.

“We’ll see you in court.”

Veronica signaled for them to follow her out of the courtroom. Linda and Jason were right behind her. Emily’s parents trailed after them. Emily stood up and faced Wilden. She kept her face expressionless as she reached for Alison’s hand. Alison gave him a smarmy look as she sidled up next to Emily.

As they turned around he watched them go, a confident look on his face that neither of them saw.

* * *

After the hearing their lawyers debriefed them. Pam had to take a walk to cool off. Wayne went with her. Emily had never seen her mother so fired up before. She caught a glimpse of them outside the courthouse as she was coming out of the restroom.

Her dad has his arm wrapped around her mother’s shoulders. She was leaning her head against him. It was a stark reminder of what she’d almost lost. What _they_ had almost lost. Her mother almost lost her best friend, her lover. Emily had almost lost her father. And her daughter had almost lost her grandfather. Loss was becoming all too common in her life. It was unnerving.

In the span of six months she had almost lost her child, her father, her girlfriend, and her ex-girlfriend. Not to mention Caleb and Hanna, who were also in danger.

Emily pulled her phone out of her pocket and pulled up the text she’d gotten in the car. The muscles of her hands tensed in anger as she gripped the edges of her phone tightly.

She had about a dozen angry replies she felt like sending. Heat burned her cheeks. She understood how her mother felt, because someone was messing with _her_ baby, too. And it stirred a fire inside her belly like nothing else she’d ever experienced.

She was so absorbed by her anger and so immersed in the message that she wasn’t watching where she was going.

She didn’t see the looming shadow until she’d nearly bumped into him. It was his voice that immediately pulled her attention away from the screen.

“Why is everyone your age _always_ on their phone?”

When she looked up she saw Wilden staring at her. Her eyes scanned the hallway, but there was no one else around. No police officers. No lawyers. It was just the two of them.

She took a step back and felt a surge of adrenaline. Her mind flashed back to seeing the glint of the knife nearly plunging into Alison’s stomach. She took a defensive stance, ready to strike if he stepped one toe out of line.

“Who let you out of your cage?” She curled her lip up in a sneer.

“I’m still free to take a piss when I want. Why? What’s the matter? Scared?” He stood perfectly still, but the look in his eyes was dangerous.

“Not even remotely.” Emily shot back. “But you should be. Do you know what they do to pedophiles in prison?” The cocky look on his face dropped away. “No one is coming to your rescue this time, not with all the evidence they have against you.”

“We’ll see about that,” he challenged. His eyes drifted down to her phone. “It’s not over yet.”

“Who is it?” Emily glanced at the device in her hand. “Who is helping you?” _Who tried to kill Maya? My dad? Who is torturing me?_

“I’m not telling you _anything_.” He taunted. He paused, reaching up to rub his chin. “Unless…” His lips twitched into a twisted smirk. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”

“Not a chance in hell.” Emily took a calculated step back.

“What other choice do you have?” He followed her motions by shifting towards her.

“You come any closer and we’re going to have a repeat of the cafeteria. Only this time there are no witnesses, so I won’t hold back.” Emily slipped her phone into her pocket and curled her hands into fists, keeping them at her side, but ready to strike in an instant.

She looked around the empty hallway. Her eyes darted between Wilden and all the ways she could use to get away from him. She looked for cameras, but they were just out of range.

“Throw the trial,” he lowered his voice.

“Excuse me?” Emily scoffed.

“Throw the trial. And convince blondie to do the same. And I’ll tell you everything you want to know.” He dropped his arms to his sides.

“You want us to commit perjury?” She rolled her eyes with a snide laugh. “Are you out of your mind?” How hard had Alison hit him in New York?

“The way I see it you’ve got one of two choices. I’m your first choice. Right now I’m all you got. You can walk away…sure, but if you do that you walk away from everything. All the answers. I’m offering you a deal here.”

“I’ll find another way.” Emily shook her head.

“Hmm.” Wilden pinched his brow, a serious look on his face. “Good luck with that.”

He turned on his feet, reaching out towards the bathroom door. He paused before pushing it open. He clucked his tongue and shook his head.

His eyes drifted down, his gaze stopping on her necklace. He had a strange triumphant look on his face. The same look he’d had in the courtroom when he looked at Alison’s bracelet. Emily wasn’t sure where his fascination with jewelry had come from, but it really freaked her out.

“You’ve got a couple of weeks at best before the shit really hits the fan.” His eyes scanned her body, his gaze lingering on her stomach. “You think I’m the _real_ bad guy here, but you have no idea who you’re dealing with.” He forced out a wicked grin. It came out as a grimace. “I knew who you were the second you walked into my classroom.” His fingers gripped the door’s edge. “You were a cocky little shit. I knew things about you that weren’t in your transcript. And you certainly didn’t disappoint. You’re stubborn. You persevere, I’ll give you that.”

“You were stalking me before I ever got to town, weren’t you?”

“Only a fool would admit that in the middle of a courthouse.” Wilden denied it. “But I’ve gotta ask you…have you thought about the ramifications if you don’t do what I’m asking? It’s not just about you. You’ve got to ask yourself whether or not you’re going to be able to protect that beautiful bundle of joy from this _big scary world_.” He emphasized the end of his statement, trying to intimidate her.

He was trying to use his knowledge about her pregnancy against her. She didn’t flinch. She didn’t budge. She’d been through scarier things than facing off with Darren Wilden.

“I think you should focus more on the big scary world waiting for you…behind bars.” Emily replied coolly.

“Suit yourself.” He pushed the bathroom door forward. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He glanced over his shoulder as the door softly closed behind him.

Emily stayed firmly planted in the hallway for a good sixty seconds. She hated that he had her questioning her morals. She hated that for a brief second she considered taking his offer, because she was exhausted. She was tired of chasing a ghost. But in the end she knew she was better than him. She was not going to stoop to his level.

She quickly made her way back to the meeting room where Alison, Linda, and Veronica were waiting. She caught the tail end of Linda lecturing Alison. They were standing near the open door. Jason was sitting on the bench outside the door. Emily waved to him.

“Stay off of social media.” Linda warned her. “Don’t be stupid. I’ve had too many young clients like you that go out and share everything with the world and it always comes back to bite them in the ass.”

“All of my profiles are private.” Alison assured her.

“Sweetie, nothing on the internet is _ever_ private. Just stay off of it. Period.” Linda warned. “I’d advise you to take everything down for the time being.”

Alison opened her mouth to argue, but then she saw Emily standing at the door, and suddenly all she could think about was getting out of the stupid courthouse.

“Okay,” she said. “Anything else?”

“Tell your mother I’ll be in touch.” Linda nodded, clutching her briefcase as she walked past Emily, nodding slightly at her to acknowledge her.

Emily walked into the room, watching as Linda disappeared. She could feel the tension in the air.

“She’s a _delight._ ” Emily uttered caustically.

Alison giggled. Emily always knew what to say to break the ice. Her sarcastic little rebel.

“She’s one of the best lawyers I know. I know she’s tough, but she never loses, so I advise that you take what she says seriously.” Veronica packed away a folder in her briefcase. She looked at the girls, mainly focusing on Emily. “Your parents have a copy of the court documents needed to excuse your tardiness from school. I suggest that you don’t talk about anything that was discussed here today with any of your friends. That includes my daughter.” Veronica closed her briefcase and laid it against the table. “I know she has a tendency to dig for things, but what we talk about needs to stay between us for the integrity of this trial.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Emily said.

“I assume your parents will be taking you to school?”

They’d be just in time for lunch.

“Jason is giving us a ride.” She motioned to the older boy. He was on his phone outside the door. “My dad has to get to work.”

“Good.” Veronica nodded. She tapped her fingers against the table. “Before you go I need to speak with you in private for a minute.”

Emily turned towards Alison, lightly gripping her hand. She smiled at the blonde.

“I’ll be right out.” She glanced at Jason and lowered her voice. “Stay with Jason. Wilden is wandering around out there.”

Alison’s eyes widened, looking at Emily in concern, but Emily shook it off and mouthed, _“I’m fine.”_

Alison walked out to where her brother was sitting and took a seat next to him. Veronica walked over and closed the door. She motioned for Emily to move towards the table. She grabbed a sheet of paper from the top of her briefcase. She stared at Emily for a few seconds, like she was trying to solve a puzzle.

“How are you doing, sweetie?” she asked. Her tone sounded innocent enough, but Emily knew she was digging for something.

“I’ll just be glad when this nightmare is over.” Emily tried to keep her response as flat and as vague as possible.

“It’s going to be a very long road.” The lawyer tapped her briefcase with a pen, clearly in thought.

“I’m glad you’re the one in the driver’s seat.” Emily smiled.

Mrs. Hastings didn’t smile back. Something was bothering her.

The room was silent. Only the sound of a clock ticking on the wall was audible. Emily wasn’t sure why she was still there.

Veronica looked up from her belongings.

“Emily, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me.”

“Okay.” Emily felt her heart speed up in her chest.

“What really happened in New York?” She eyed Emily incredulously.

It took all of Emily’s strength not to look away. She knew she needed to maintain eye contact.

“What do you mean?”

“Was there another reason you went...aside from Alison’s NYU visit?”

“I wanted Alison to show me the city. I thought it might be nice to see her in her element. She really loves it there.” Emily’s tone was even and precise.

“Mmhmm.” Veronica reached down and put a folder into her briefcase. Emily could tell she was processing the lie. The older woman looked up at her again. “Do you know why I’m doing this case pro bono?”

Other than the fact that Spencer and Toby had asked, Emily didn’t have a clue why she was helping.

“I don’t, but my family and I are very appreciative of you sticking your neck out for me like this.” Emily smiled politely.

“You’re a very smart young woman. You were always an introspective and curious little girl. I would see you and the girls playing or riding your bikes and I could always tell that you had a million thoughts running through your mind. You were always thinking. Quietly thinking. But you also knew how to be in the moment. You taught my daughter that. One day the chain jammed on Spencer’s bike. You weren’t fazed at all. You hopped off your bike, flipped hers over and readjusted the chain and you were back to riding ten minutes later.”

“My dad taught me that.” She felt a swell of pride. He’d nurtured her love for bikes at an early age. “I didn’t know that fixing a bike chain would get me free law advice ten years later.”

Veronica chuckled.

“The cost of decency should be free.” Veronica pushed herself to her feet. “Your mother was there for me years ago when I was going through a rough patch.”

“She was?” Emily questioned in intrigue. “I didn’t know.”

“No one did. Because I refused to ask for help.” Veronica gave her a pointed look. “Spencer and Melissa were _always_ at odds when they were little. They couldn’t go two minutes without arguing. And my work was piling up, so my husband had taken them to his father’s cabin for a week so I could get some work done. While they were gone I slipped and sprained my ankle. When I went to the doctor they found a lump in my breast.”

Emily felt a terrible sinking sensation in her stomach. She felt like reaching out and hugging her, but she didn’t really know her very well.

“They did a biopsy. The second I was released from the hospital I went to the country club and buried myself in cosmos and margaritas. One of the workers was kind enough to call me a cab, but instead of going home I ended up stumbling into a church…drunk out of my mind. I have never been a religious person, but that’s where I ended up. Because naturally, what do you do when you think you might die?”

She was perfectly composed, but Emily could hear the emotional tone in her voice.

“I felt _so_ alone.” She tapped the table with her fingertips. “But I wasn’t. Your mother was there. I unloaded everything on to her. I lamented about how I couldn’t tell my family because it would crush them…it would destroy their lives. And your mother was so kind and so caring. We talked for hours. In the end she convinced me that we’re stronger when we let the people who love us take some of the weight off of us. I told my family when they came back. Fortunately, it ended up being nothing. But I learned that going at things alone takes its toll.”

Veronica slowly lifted her gaze, meeting Emily’s eyes. It was a very maternal look. Spencer’s mom wasn’t just her lawyer in that moment. She was a mother.

“Secrets have a way of eating away at you. And I’ve often found that it’s when we think we’re at our weakest that our loved ones make us stronger. Clinging to secrets and being unwilling to let them go…it’s not healthy.”

It didn’t take long for Emily to connect the dots. Veronica was trying to get Emily to open up about the threats. Emily saw where Spencer got her intelligence from. Her mother was very sharp.

“Before we went in there Alison mentioned something about Wilden threatening you…” She leaned forward with a tight expression on her face. “And I’ve seen the way you tense up around him. I’ve seen it in Alison, too. And while I know he’s put you both through an incredible ordeal, I can tell that it’s more than just typical anxiety.” Her mouth made a “tsk” sound as she tried to gauge Emily’s reaction.

Emily’s skin prickled up when she thought about the text she’d gotten in the car. She knew that in order to fool Veronica Hastings she was going to have to think on the fly.

“So am going to ask again. Is there something you’re not telling me? Because if you’re hiding something or holding back Wilden’s lawyer _will_ find it. They are going to dig until they have _everything_ and they will expose it. So I need to know, not just for the sake of the trial, but for your own mental health…is there something else going on?”

Emily knew that there was no way Wilden’s lawyer would bring up the threats she’d been receiving, because it would paint Wilden in an even darker light. She wanted more than anything to tell someone. She was tired of looking over her shoulder. But she was afraid of what would happen if she said anything. Her dad and Maya had been drugged and both of them had nearly died. She wasn’t willing to risk the lives of the people she loved.

“It’s nothing. Alison has gotten very protective of the baby.” She put her hand on her stomach. “So have I. It’s about protecting her more than anything. We’re just…being extra careful because we don’t know what Wilden is capable of.” Emily chose her words carefully, because she knew Veronica would be listening for inconsistencies. “When she said he was threatening me she meant that he _is_ a threat to me…and to my daughter. We just want to make sure he goes away for the rest of his life. We don’t want him pulling another stunt like he did last time.”

Veronica’s face softened. Emily relaxed when she saw that the older woman had bought it. It hadn’t been as hard to lie as Emily imagined it would, because it was partially the truth.

“Don’t worry, honey. His days of hurting people are over. This case is cut and dry. I assure you of that much.” She reached out and rubbed Emily’s arm in a comforting manner.

Emily’s eyes met hers. She’d never realized it before, but Spencer had her mother’s eyes. They were deep and commanding, but there was a subtle softness in them.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hastings.” She gave her an appreciative look. “This has been a lot to deal with, but you’ve made this process a lot easier. I’ll feel a lot better when this is all over.”

“I think we all will.” Veronica nodded in agreement. “But in the meantime if you ever need to talk to me, don’t hesitate.”

“I won’t. Thanks.” There was a slight tremble in her voice.

Emily was hoping Veronica hadn’t caught it, but she had.

“Are you _sure_ that everything is okay?” Veronica gave her one last chance to be honest with her.

“Yeah. He’ll be locked up soon, which is a huge relief. I just hope that his family doesn’t try to cause problems with mine.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Veronica rustled through some of her paperwork. “He doesn’t have any immediate family as far as I’ve been informed. He was an only child and both of his parents have passed away.”

“What?” Emily’s head snapped up, her chin jutting forward. She tried to pull back. She didn’t want to seem overly-eager. “I knew his aunt died, but I didn’t know about his mom and dad.”

“His mother died of cancer about a year ago. He wasn’t on speaking terms with her. Such a shame.” She shook her head sadly.

“And his dad?”

“He committed suicide five years ago. I had to dig to find that out. He was apparently being investigated for insider trading. No one knows what happened to the money he embezzled. It’s still an ongoing case. There’s a gag order in place preventing the media from leaking it.”

Emily tried to work out the details in her head. If he was dead then how did he have a car and a house upstate?

“I don’t know that they’ll ever figure it out. I mean, with stocks and bonds and trust funds it’s very easy to make money disappear…”

“I should go.” Emily’s mouth felt dry. Her head was spinning. “Alison is waiting. We have to get to school.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know if I hear anything more.” Veronica replied.

“Thanks.”

Emily walked towards the door. Veronica kept her eyes on the young brunette. She still felt like something was off, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Alison stood up when she saw Emily walking out of the room. She walked over and took her hand.

“You were right,” Alison said quietly. “The bastard was just roaming freely. His guard dogs have him in chains again now.” She squeezed Emily’s hand. Emily could feel her anger and frustration in her grip. “What did he say to you?”

“It’s not important.” Emily shrugged. She tugged on Alison’s hand to try and get her to move to follow Jason out the door.

“Emily…” Alison pulled back stubbornly. “Did he do something…”

“Not here,” Emily said in a hushed tone.

There was a sense of urgency in Emily’s voice, so Alison didn’t argue. They walked out to the parking lot. Alison kept looking over her shoulder, worried that they were being watched.

Jason climbed in the driver’s seat. Emily hopped in the back. Alison scooted in next to her.

“No one wants to ride shotgun with me? What gives? Do I smell funny or something?” Jason turned around in the driver’s seat with a smile on his face. He was teasing them. “No hanky panky.”

“Don’t be _that guy_.” Alison rolled her eyes. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.”

“What are you talking about? I’m hilarious.” Jason gave them a cheeky smile before turning around to face the front again. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel and then put the keys in the ignition. “So, that was a hell of a family activity…” He cranked the engine. “Next time how about we just go play mini golf?”

“You were banned for having inappropriate relations inside the windmill with that girl who worked there.” Alison reminded him.

“Oh, right.” They could see his face in the rearview mirror. He had a distant expression in his eyes. His lips were curved into a huge smile. “I got a lot of holes in one that day.”

“Okay, how about you don’t talk anymore?” Alison’s face turned red in embarrassment.

“I’m just giving you a hard time.” He put the car in reverse and turned around. He stretched his arm out over the passenger’s seat and took a look behind them before backing the car out of the parking space. “It was kind of rough in there. You two doing okay?”

“Define ‘okay’.” Emily reached up and rubbed her brow.

Jason frowned when he saw the look on her face.

“We’re stopping by _The Brew_ before I drop you off at school,” he said decisively. “You deserve doughnuts and coffee.”

Neither girl argued. Jason took them to _The Brew_. He went to grab the order while they relaxed in the car. He knew they needed some time to process going head-to-head with Wilden.

As soon as Jason was out of the car Alison turned to Emily.

“Alright, spill. What the hell happened back there?”

“Wilden knows about her.” She rubbed her stomach. “He knew about it when I got back to town. He told me he’d tell me everything on one condition.” She saw Alison’s eyes light up in excitement, but with a bit of hesitation. She hated to crush her hope. “I refused. He wanted us to throw the trial. And I’m not willing to do that. Because this trial is bigger than us. It’s not just about you and me. It’s about Mona. And all those girls on those videos.”

“That’s the right call.” Alison sighed sadly. Wilden hadn’t only victimized them. He’d hurt countless other girls.

“I also found out from Mrs. Hastings that Wilden’s dad is dead. He died five years ago.”

“But…” Alison’s face twisted in confusion. “The car…”

“I know.” Emily nodded. “And the house. Mrs. Hastings says that Wilden’s father was involved in embezzlement. They don’t know where the money went. It’s entirely possible to set up a trust in someone else’s name. And it all circles back to him. Whoever was feeding him information before I moved back has to be the same person using his father’s name. The same person who must be the main account holder. Mrs. Hastings says he doesn’t have any family, but she doesn’t know about the DNA tests.”

Alison could see the wheels turning in Emily’s head. She was putting a puzzle together. The brunette was always doing something in her mind. There was a world of life behind her eyes.

“Should we show the DNA results to her? That would change things, right?” Alison asked.

“Maybe. But I think in order to be used as evidence in court it has to be obtained in a legal manner. I guess we could mention it to her and let her find it on her own. Except…” She drifted off in thought.

What if they really were being watched? What if the person on the other end of the phone knew that’s what they were planning to do? What if the next phone call Emily got about an ailing loved one was from the city morgue?

“Except what?”

“I don’t want to take any chances. If we tell Mrs. Hastings it will become public knowledge.”

“So then what are you thinking?” Alison questioned.

Emily took a breath before she responded, huffing it out in one swell gust.

“Maybe it’s not out of the question to assume that Courtney could have something to do with this.” It made her feel nauseous to consider it. “What you said out in Buffalo about her parents…” Emily drifted off. “I look at Isaac and Courtney and I barely see any similarities. They do have some of the same features, but…I don’t know. Half-siblings would still look alike. And if she had a trust fund she could afford to do almost anything. It could also explain how her parents were able to write me such a huge check without batting an eye when I know for a fact they aren’t crazy rich.”

“How would her parents have access to it? Isn’t she nineteen? She’d have control of it, wouldn’t she?”

“It depends on the stipulations. She might have to meet certain requirements to gain access to it.” Emily cringed, “Which…now that I’m saying it out loud…it sounds crazy. Am I being crazy?”

“We have to look at everything from every angle.” Alison replied.

“It could explain how she gets away with things and how she’s able to hold things over her parents’ heads.”

“And why Maya was drugged and how this person seems to know really intimate details about you.” Alison tried to process the new information. She touched Emily’s hand. “Do you really think it could be her?”

“There is only one way to find out.”

Emily pulled her phone out. She looked at the threatening message warning her to stay quiet. Alison glanced at her screen. She felt an ire in her veins as she re-read the message,

**_I’ll be watching today. If you or Legally Blonde breathes a word about me I’ll make sure it’s the last breaths you two ever take._ **

“I wonder what this person would do if they thought Wilden was going to rat them out.” Emily concentrated on the screen. “It could draw them out of the shadows.”

Alison glanced at her in surprise.

“You think we should bait them?”

“At the very least it will assure us that no one tries to come to his rescue again.” Emily started typing a response.

**_It’s not me you should be worried about. I’m not going to rat you out. But your boy is ready to take a plea deal…with me. He’s willing to tell me everything. Guess freedom talks more than money._ **

She mulled it over before she hit send. She looked at Alison.

“What do you think?” She showed her the response.

“There are not nearly enough death threats or enough usage of the word _uber-bitch_.” She frowned.

“There is a fine line between provoking them and pissing them off. We’ve got to be careful.” Emily re-read the message several more times before she hit ‘send’.

After she sent it she looked up at Alison. They exchanged a look of solidarity. Alison reached for Emily’s hand. Emily took it and squeezed it with a determined expression in her eyes. Whatever happened, they were in it together.

The car rocked as Jason opened the driver’s side door and plopped down in the driver’s seat. He had a to-go bag in his hand and a cup-holder with three cups of coffee. He pulled his coffee out and put it in between the console. He turned around and handed them their drinks.

“Elitist white girl beverage for you…” He gave Alison her cup. “And a decaf for you.” He gave Emily hers. “You’ve got your choice of crullers, doughnuts, and scones…” He extended the bag towards them.

“Call me elitist again and I’ll hit you in _your_ scones.” Alison mumbled.

Emily laughed and rubbed Alison’s arm.

“Thanks, Jason.” Emily sipped her decaf.

“At least _someone_ appreciates me.” Jason shrugged.

Emily gripped the bag, glancing at the flyer on the front of it. It looked like Sabrina’s handiwork. There was a big clubbing event and an open mic night in a few weeks. It was a pre-prom party. It looked interesting. She sipped on her coffee as she read about it.

They hadn’t decided anything official about prom. Alison was being blasé about it, which was weird. Emily wasn’t big on tradition, but things like prom had always seemed like a big deal to Alison. Lately Emily had seen her pretending to be uninterested in the flyers and the announcements about it. She didn’t want her to miss out.

She had plans to ask her despite Alison’s indifference. She had an idea of why Alison was snubbing it. She thought back to their conversation in her room earlier that morning. Alison was trying to put aside her own interests in order to try and protect her. She didn’t want the blonde to continue sacrificing her senior year. They had been through so much. It would be nice to do something normal. It was just what they needed to snap them out of their funk. Prom was a rite of passage, and Emily wasn’t going to let it slip through their fingers.

Their prom night would be unforgettable. But not for the reasons she was thinking.


	32. Rumor Has It

**A/N:** _This one gets a little dark and twisty and rated M-ish._

* * *

**Chapter 32:**

**Rumor Has It**

Lunch was nearly over by the time they finished up in the front office with the official paperwork granting them amnesty for missing their morning classes due to court.

They passed by a trio of girls in the hallway. A frizzy haired brunette pointed at them and then whispered to the other two.

“Aww, look honey, we’re famous.” Emily rolled her eyes. She’d expected a fanfare, because everyone at school knew about what was going on. “The paparazzi is abuzz about our court date.”

“What are you looking at?” Alison puffed up defensively, taking a threatening step towards the girls.

The girls shrieked and ran down the hallway, making noises between screams of fear and fits of laughter. Alison was primed to go after them, but Emily grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“You have _got_ to stop chasing people down and biting them.” Emily shook her head with a laugh.

“But I get so much pleasure out of it.” Alison pushed her lips out in a pout.

Emily leaned towards her and gave her a peck on the lips. They separated with an audible pop.

“I like your mouth against mine. Let’s keep it that way, okay?” Emily asked.

“You taste like strawberry glaze, doughnut girl.” Alison licked her lips.

Emily threw her arm around her as they walked into the cafeteria. There was a large crowd gathered around something they couldn’t see. They could hear murmurs as they got closer. A few people turned around to face them.

“What’s all this?” Alison asked.

The murmurs grew in volume. The crowd shifted their focus towards the two of them.

_“There they are.”_

_“Is it true?”_

_“I always knew she was trouble.”_

Someone started shoving their way through the group of students, moving at a rapid pace.

“Move!” Hanna growled, ordering everyone to part ways so she could make her way through the crowd.

Her heels clacked angrily against the floor. Emily moved forward in concern. Hanna looked miffed.

“Don’t make me go Moses on your asses, because I’ll make a path with my fists if you don’t give me one.” Hanna threatened.

“Hanna, are you okay?” Emily asked.

When Hanna heard her voice she froze. Her eyes met Emily’s from across the sea of people. She pushed her way through the rest of them and rushed over to them.

“What are you guys doing here? I thought you were in court.” Her eyes were wide with an expression that Emily didn’t recognize.

“We finished early,” Emily said. “What is everyone staring at?”

“Hanna!” Mona scurried through a bunch of freshman. “I think I got most of the flyers out of the locker rooms. Aria is pulling the ones in the library down…”

The short brunette paused in her stride when she saw Emily and Alison. The look on her face was the same one that Hanna had on hers. Sadness. Irritation. And a quiet undertone of sympathy. It suddenly dawned on Emily that people weren’t staring at her because of her day in court.

She lunged forward, pushing her way through the students in front of her. She heard Hanna calling out behind her.

“Em! Wait!”

The crowd parted for her in a way that it hadn’t parted for Hanna. At the front of the crowd there was a large bulletin board. Someone had decorated it like a gossip rag magazine with pictures of her that left no room for speculation about her pregnancy.

In large bold letters above the board the message was loud and clear,

_“Looks like St. Patrick got lucky with someone. We weren’t ‘expecting’ this news! Guess who’s preggers?”_

Her first instinct was to rip it down.

It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her baby. She’d been set to go public with her pregnancy. She’d planned on showing up to school and not shielding her bump. She was going to own it. But someone had taken the opportunity away from her.

Before she could tear it down she saw two pairs of hands ripping the display off of the bulletin board. Spencer and Toby were working together to take it down. Emily made eye contact with Spencer, thinking about everything Mrs. Hastings had told her. Spencer nodded at her as she worked. Emily gave her an appreciative look.

She felt a delicate hand against her shoulder. She knew by the touch that it was Alison. The blonde sidled up beside her. Her nostrils flared when she saw the set up.

Her angry eyes scanned the crowd. She spotted Cindy and Mindy in the middle of it, snickering. Cindy whispered something to her sister and then they both exploded in laughter. It was all the confirmation she needed to see that they were behind it.

The heated ball of anger in her stomach was roaring at an all-time high. She was sick of people disrespecting her girlfriend. And she was sick of the twins and their stupid faces. Without thinking she surged forward into the crowd, her sights set on them.

“Alison!” Emily shouted, racing after her.

Alison reached Cindy first. She slammed her into a group of sophomores, who quickly rushed away from the altercation. Mindy reached out to grab Alison’s hair, but Alison spun Cindy around and used her as a battering ram, throwing her against her twin.

All the training she’d been doing kicked in. She let her instincts take over. She let the punches fly and wiped the floor with them for nearly sixty seconds before Emily came along and snatched her away from them.

Emily grabbed Alison’s arm and dragged her through the crowd just as Ella Montgomery’s voice came bellowing over the crowd.

“What is going on? BREAK IT UP!”

Emily pushed her way through some students, pulling Alison with her to get her as far away from the fight as possible.

She was able to break through the sea of students. She saw Hanna gesturing towards the door leading to the courtyard. The girls started running towards their escape.

Emily knew if Alison got in trouble for fighting it could spell disaster for her in so many ways. She was hoping that no one would snitch. She’d seen a couple of phones being pulled out in the melee, but Alison was moving so fast and it was so crowded she was hoping that no one had gotten any solid proof. Or maybe Mrs. Montgomery would cover for her.

After they made it outside Hanna and Mona stepped in front of the door, casually blocking it. They slowed their pace and walked over to the other side of the building.

“Oh, sweetie…are you okay?” Alison looked at her sympathetically.

“I’m fine.” Emily reached out and traced her finger over a tiny scratch on Alison’s cheek. She’d barely felt it when Mindy’s ring grazed her. “You?”

“You should have let me finish what I started.” Alison grumbled.

Emily gripped the blonde’s chin with her fingers and moved her face side to side to look for other injuries.

“What did we say about starting giant bar brawls in school, dear?” she asked sarcastically.

“Make sure you have a broken beer bottle to use as a weapon?” Alison tried to get cheeky.

Emily shook her head with a quiet laugh.

“We have to be careful. We can’t afford to get in any more trouble. So you need to stow that rage for now, okay?”

“Em…they blasted it all over school. They took your choice away. And that’s not okay.” She huffed angrily.

“Of course it’s not. I know that. But at the end of the day we’ve got bigger things to worry about,” Emily reached for Alison’s hands, gently taking them in hers. “I love that you are on standby mode for me. I do.” She smiled. She loved her little firecracker. “But I can take care of myself, pregnant or not. I went through all this before…all this hiding…not being able to be who I really am. I’m not going back. I’m not going to do it again. If I can live through coming out to my parents, I can live through this.”

Alison took a breath. She knew Emily was right, but tensions were running high.

“If you want to bail Principal Hackett would probably understand if we asked for the rest of the day off and told him it was because of the court proceeding.”

“No.” Emily stood firm. “I’m not going to run from this. Not anymore. I’m not ashamed of my daughter. I really don’t give a shit what a bunch of nobodies think of me.”

Alison pressed her lips together and smiled in awe. She let out a breath through her nose and tilted her head. Emily was constantly surprising her.

Alison was ready to go feral on the entire school, but Emily was fighting back in her own way. By owning who she was. It reminded Alison of why she’d fallen head-over-heels for her in the first place. She’d rolled into town on her bike, so cocky and self-assured. It had set the tone for their entire relationship.

From the moment Alison had first laid eyes on her she could tell that Emily was a girl who was not afraid of anything. She’d been watching her from across the street that day. The confidence she exuded had been intoxicating. The brunette embodied strength and determination and patience, a quality Alison did not share with her. She’d been proud of who she was.

Emily did things differently. She didn’t play by anyone else’s rules. She was the first person who had ever come along and _challenged_ her, which forced her to take a good hard look at herself. And she’d changed for the better because of her.

“Yeah.” Alison glanced back at the school. The masses had scattered inside. She reached out to grip Emily’s hand. “Fuck this place. We’ve got each other, and that’s all that matters.” She lifted their joined hands up and pecked Emily’s knuckles with her lips. “I’m with you, Em.”

Emily nodded, tightening her grip on Alison’s hand.

They took a few minutes to regroup before they walked back into the building together, hand-in-hand. Alison got as physically close to Emily as she possibly could. She mean-mugged everyone who had the audacity to stare at her.

The girls met them inside. Hanna had an angry scowl on her face. Her chest was puffed out defensively. She had a piece of fabric in her hand that looked like a ripped shirt.

“Uh…need help burying a body there, Han?” Emily asked.

“She just finished reaming out some of the football players.” Aria tossed a handful of flyers in the trash. “Cindy and Mindy spearheaded the whole thing and recruited the football team to do it.”

“Of course they did.” Alison rolled her eyes. “Two evil witches convinced giant dimwitted ogres to do their bidding. That used to be my signature _raison d’être_.”

She regretted the moment she’d pulled the twat twins out of oblivion and started grooming them to follow her lead. She’d created the little monsters.

“We had some…choice words with them,” Spencer explained.

“This is my trophy.” Hanna held the ripped fabric tightly in her fist.

“It would be better with blood on it.” Alison said, frowning.

Hanna flipped the shirt over to show a reddish brown stain on the other side. Alison’s frown quickly flipped into a satisfied smile.

“I’m going to run it up the flagpole as a reminder to those meatheads not to cross us. If I could put someone’s head on a spike I would. But this is the second best thing.”

“You guys, this is all really sweet, but…I don’t want to cause any trouble.” Emily had to think about her future. And her child’s future. The last thing she needed was retaliation. They already had someone threatening to kill them.

“I’m sorry you had to walk into this. We thought you were going to be out all day. We thought we could get it all down.” Mona looked in the garbage can at the crumpled up papers.

“It was bound to come out eventually.” Emily shrugged.

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have been forced to tell people before you were ready.” Spencer glanced at the bare bulletin board that had just minutes ago boasted Emily’s private life all over it.

“It’s kind of the running theme in my life. I’m used to it at this point.” Emily plucked a piece of paper that still had tape stuck to it off of the wall. “People are going to talk as long as there is something to talk about. At least with this it’s not a bad thing. I’d rather them focus on this than pry about Wilden’s trial.”

“How exactly did that go?” Spencer’s eyes lit up with intrigue. She looked exactly like her mother when she was digging for information.

“We’re not supposed to talk about it,” Emily said.

Spencer cracked a smile.

“My mother’s work, no doubt. She put you under a gag order, didn’t she?”

“Unofficially.” Emily nodded.

“Well, _unofficially_ , I hope that he gets everything that’s coming to him.” Mona reached up and crossed her arms over her chest. “Maybe a few dozen barbed wired clubs to his face.”

“He’s in Rosewood. Not Attica. The best we can hope for is the whiny little tyrant getting outdated expired prison food or itchy sheets in his cell.” Emily muttered.

She regretted not punching him in his stupid face at the courthouse.

“Maybe we can find someone on the inside to slip some antifreeze into his prison mush.” Hanna angrily threw a balled up flyer into the trash can.

Alison shot Hanna a look of approval with a slight nod of her head, as if the two of them had some secret solidarity. She was impressed with Hanna’s zest. For a split second it looked like they were mentally linking their brains and scheming up a plan.

“Damn.” Mona’s lips twisted into an amused grin. “Remind me to never piss you off.”

“I’m just saying…between the six of us we have to know _someone_ who can take care of him.” Hanna shrugged.

“Discussing assassination plots in the middle of a school riddled with gossip is not exactly the greatest idea in the world.” Spencer looked around the hallways. Most students were already in class, but she knew that there were always people who lingered and eavesdropped.

“Oh, relax, Annalise Keating. We’re not on an episode of _How to Get Away With Murder_ here.” Hanna waved off Spencer’s neurosis.

“Yet.” Mona added with a giggle. “I mean…think about it. We’ve got the brains.” She motioned to herself. “The bombshell seductress known to make men grovel at her feet.” She smiled at Hanna. “And plenty of muscle.” She reached out and squeezed Aria’s arm.

“I do know a few techniques to subdue giant dicks.” Aria paused, replaying the words in her head. Everyone glanced at her and she let out a little nervous laugh. “Yeah, I heard it as soon as I said it. I could have worded that _much_ better.”

“No, no.” Hanna grinned at her in amusement. “I’d like to know more about these techniques you’re using to subdue giant dicks. Do you use your hands or…”

“Okay…as thrilled as I am that we’re not discussing first degree murder anymore, this topic change doesn’t exactly paint the picture of innocence. You don’t want to do anything that could screw up the trial.” Spencer cut Hanna off.

“Did my parents hire you as a lawyer with your mom? Like a two-for-one deal?” Emily chuckled.

“Just consider me an insurance policy.” Spencer slid a notepad into the side of her book bag.

The warning bell chimed, snapping everyone to attention. It was hard to care about academics when there was so much going on in their lives, but they were in a crucial time in their senior year and they couldn’t afford to fail.

“God, when I get out of here I’d just as soon never hear another damn bell again.” Alison rubbed her right eyebrow.

“Would you all do me a favor?” Spencer asked. The girls faced her eagerly. “Can you please behave? No more talk about maiming or torturing. Prison will take care of all that.”

“I make no promises.” Alison’s expression remained neutral.

Her tone suggested that she was joking, but there was a twisted sense of darkness in her eyes.

Emily was the only one close enough to her to catch the look. She wasn’t just angry. She was swirling in a rage. Wilden had not only harassed her and tried to kill her, but he’d attempted to kill Emily and the baby. Seeing him in the courtroom had reignited an angry fire in her she hadn’t felt since the night on the rooftop in New York. She had been ready to kill him that night.

“You’ve got that test in Biology. You really shouldn’t be late.” Emily tried to draw her out of her thoughts. “Come on. I’ll walk you.”

Alison blinked like she was slowly coming out of a daydream, no doubt a daydream about pummeling Wilden to death. She smiled at her girlfriend and took her hand without a word.

“I’ll see you all in Trig.” Emily waved to their friends.

The girls broke away to run to their lockers. Emily and Alison made their way around the corner. They didn’t notice a pair of eyes watching them from beneath the shadow of a dark hoodie.

Alison was quiet as they strolled through the halls. They saw lingering remnants of torn paper and tape from where all the announcements about Emily’s pregnancy had been ripped down by their friends.

Alison had never stopped to thank the girls. They had really stepped up to support Emily, and she was appreciative of that. She’d never know for sure whether they put up with her for Emily’s sake or if they’d really warmed up to her, but she didn’t care either way. Because she liked having them around.

She realized what she’d missed out on when they were kids. She used to see them playing together, and she’d always thought she was above them. But if she had just swallowed her pride she could have gotten to know Emily a lot better sooner.

Still, things had seemed to work out the way they were supposed to. It hadn’t been an easy road, but she had managed to shed her nasty image and become a better person. She was the happiest she had ever been.

She liked having genuine relationships. It was much better than having to rein people in with intimidation and fear. She didn’t need that toxicity in her life. She couldn’t imagine how many people like Emily she’d hurt over the years with pranks as cruel as the one Cindy and Mindy had just pulled on her girlfriend.

What had she seen in people like that in the first place? She was much better off with the friends that she had now.

She’d found some common ground with Hanna. The wily blonde seemed to somewhat accept her. She even texted her every so often. She wasn’t really close to any of the other girls, but she liked them.

She knew that more than likely they’d never see each other after high school. They’d all go their separate ways. Spencer and Mona would be off to their Ivy League prep academies soon. Hanna had been talking about fashion design, though she didn’t have a set plan for what she wanted to do yet. Aria hadn’t talked much about her future. Or perhaps Alison just hadn’t listened to her. She regretted not being nicer to them sooner. They were all decent people.

When they got to Alison’s Biology Lab Emily paused in the doorway. Alison glanced in the classroom and saw students piling in. She could see them looking at Emily. She could practically hear the whispers.

“After that bullshit the twins pulled I should be the one walking you to class.” Alison squeezed Emily’s hand.

The brunette seemed to be holding everything together remarkably well. She didn’t seem bothered.

“Are you really okay?” Alison questioned, her brow furrowed in concern.

Emily answered with a smile. She cupped Alison’s cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss, grinning. Alison was momentarily distracted, flustered by Emily’s show of passion. She was so flummoxed that she’d almost forgotten what they’d been talking about before the kiss.

She pecked Emily’s lips with a wide grin.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

Emily caressed her cheek. She thought Alison’s concern was sweet. She hated that her pregnancy had come out the way that it did, but at least she didn’t have to hide it anymore.

“I’m fine.” She let her hand fall away, glancing at the clock. “Gotta run. But I’ll catch you in English, okay?”

Alison turned towards the classroom. Normally she’d be on edge about the test she was about to take, but after their morning in court and the commotion in the lunchroom she was yearning for something normal and mundane.

She had barely gotten through the door before Emily heard her threaten people with violence if she heard _one_ word about the rumors.

She walked away from the room chuckling. She pulled her phone out to check the time. She also checked to see if Wilden’s playmate had taken the bait.

She didn’t have any new messages.

She put her phone up and scurried to get to her locker. She spun the dial and quickly flipped it open to grab her things. She reached for her Trigonometry book.

As she was closing her locker she caught a glimpse of a photo she’d put up of a beautiful sunset in San Antonio. She had taken it her last night in Texas. She remembered thinking about how the sun was setting on her old life and would rise again and it would be entirely different.

She traced her fingers over the photo. It brought back memories of the last ride she’d taken through her old town. But it also sparked a memory that she’d been repressing for months.

* * *

She’d taken her bike out for a spin that evening, much to her mother’s chagrin. They’d been in a tiny little motel room. It was only for one night, but the close quarters had started to take its toll on Emily, especially with her parents prattling on about all the changes in their lives and whispering in the bathroom about her sexuality and the pregnancy.

She couldn’t help but feel like everything was all her fault. The room felt like it was closing in on her. She had told her mom and dad she needed some air.

 _“It’s almost dark.”_ Her mother had complained.

 _“That’s why God invented headlights.”_ Emily had shrugged and grabbed the key to her bike.

Her father had muttered something about not staying out long, because they were leaving first thing in the morning.

Emily had rushed out to the parking lot, where the moving van was parked. Her bike was right next to it. They hadn’t loaded it on the trailer yet. She was still miffed that her mother refused to let her ride it to Pennsylvania.

She had hopped on it without a destination in mind. She rode into the sunset, quite literally, taking in the sights and sounds and smells of San Antonio for the last time.

She’d ended up at her house, sitting on her idling bike as she thought about the past several years. She had been through so much with the break up and the pregnancy that she hadn’t even begun to process the move.

She wasn’t a stranger to being uprooted, but this was the first time that the move was because of her. She tried to look at it as a good thing. She needed a fresh start. A new beginning. But that didn’t mean leaving was easy for her.

She absentmindedly moved her hand down over her stomach. It was still flat, but she could feel the tiniest bit of difference in the shape of her body. She’d wrestled with the ideas of abortion, adoption, and keeping the baby.

The only thing she knew for sure was that in a few months things were going to be _very_ different for her. But as she watched the colors dancing in the sky she’d felt at peace.

She’d rolled her bike up the driveway and parked. She’d dismounted and pulled her phone out to snap a few pictures, knowing the importance of having remnants of her old life.

She’d turned to face the house that had been her home since seventh grade. It hadn’t been all bad.

It was weird seeing it with all of the electricity turned off. She’d taken a few pictures of the house and then walked towards it.

Daylight was slowly starting to fade, but there was just enough light for her to see when she walked inside. It looked huge without all of their belongings in it. She walked around the big empty place. It was so quiet that she could hear every creak in the floorboard.

She slowly made her way through the house thinking about all of the memories she’d made there.

Watching movies with her dad when he was home. Cooking with her mother. Hanging out with Nick on the porch when his parents were fighting. Doing homework with Isaac in the living room. Movie nights with Maya.

_Maya._

She missed her girlfriend more than anything. She walked towards her bedroom, remembering all the moments she’d shared with her. Her first kiss with Maya. Her first _time_ with Maya.

It had been when her parents were out of town. The only advantage to being in the closet was that her parents had been perfectly fine with Maya staying over to keep her company when she was alone.

One night it had turned into _more_ than company. While she had been cleaning up in the kitchen Maya had decorated her room with sparkling blue lights and created an underwater adventure above ground. She’d set up candles and dimmed the lighting. It looked like something you would only see in a dream.

She remembered walking in and seeing Maya waiting with a huge smile on her face.

That night had been unforgettable.

She’d had a lot of unforgettable nights at the house, and seeing it for the last time served as a reminder of how many memories she was leaving behind. Some good. Some bad.

When she pushed her bedroom door open the last thing she expected to see was someone moving in the shadows.

She heard the movement seconds before she saw the silhouette near her window. Her heart lurched so hard she felt it in her throat. She looked around for something she could use as a weapon, but a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

 _“You came back.”_ Her blonde hair shimmered in the light of the fading sun.

 _“Courtney?”_ Emily froze. _“What are you doing here?”_

Courtney stepped into the light. She looked annoyed at the question.

 _“What are YOU doing here? I thought you were gone.”_ She sounded perturbed, like Emily was trespassing on her private property. Like _she_ was the intruder.

 _“We’re leaving in the morning.”_ Emily glanced at the door.

She thought about turning around and leaving Courtney behind, but then she heard her sigh.

 _“Wait.”_ Courtney’s voice was quiet. It caught Emily’s attention just enough to stop her from walking out. _“You just startled me. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here. I was at Nick’s house. He got into it with his parents. I just wanted a few minutes of peace and quiet.”_

Courtney hugged her chest and shrank in on herself. Emily hated it. She hated it when Courtney looked so small and defenseless. She knew it was a trap. She always knew. But she fell for it every time. Or maybe a little part of her hoped that things would be different, that maybe Courtney wasn’t so terrible. That she could be a human being for once. She wanted to believe in the good in people, even though Courtney had showed her time and time again who she was at heart.

 _“Why didn’t you just go home?”_ Emily took a step towards her.

 _“Because my brother is the biggest sad sack in the world right now thanks to you. He’s miserable to be around.”_ Her tone wavered between sadness and irritation.

Emily didn’t know how to respond. She knew Isaac was in pain. And she knew it was her fault. She knew Courtney was manipulating her. She knew that the blonde was using Isaac’s pain to her advantage. But she didn’t care. Because tomorrow morning she would be free of it all.

Emily brushed off Courtney’s comment. She walked over to the window and looked at Nick’s house. It looked calm, but she knew that darkness lurked behind hidden doors sometimes. His home life wasn’t perfect. But then again, neither was hers.

 _“What are they fighting about?”_ She dragged two of her fingers against the windowpane.

Courtney shrugged. She moved next to Emily and looked out the window. Her eyes were fixed on the glass, like she couldn’t see beyond it. She was staring at her reflection with a strange hatred in her eyes.

_“It doesn’t matter. He won’t have to deal with them much longer.”_

Emily didn’t reply. She kept her eyes glued to her neighbor’s house. She thought about how Nick and Isaac had showed up in the nick of time at that frat party. She hadn’t processed how much she was going to miss her friends.

 _“Do you love him?”_ Emily turned towards her.

The question was so pointed and direct that it stunned Courtney into a strange sort of silence. She was taken aback.

 _“Why?”_ She asked with an attitude.

_“Because he’s a good guy. And if you’re just using him as some kind of pawn…if you fuck with his heart…”_

_“Like the way you fucked with Isaac’s heart?”_ Her words were sour and cut into Emily.

But Emily didn’t take the bait.

 _“I’m not going to fight with you. Not this time.”_ Emily replied calmly. She laid her hand against the windowsill. _“I’m leaving. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the people I’m leaving behind. Isaac…Nick…they’re good people. And if I find out that you’re messing with them…”_

 _“God, you’re so self-righteous.”_ The blonde scoffed, gripping the edge of the windowsill so tight that her knuckles turned white. _“You’re not going to do anything. This place is just a memory for you now. You claim to care about people and then you just toss them aside like used garbage. You’re running away.”_

 _“I’m not running away. I’m moving.”_ Emily corrected her.

 _“Bullshit.”_ Her nostrils flared. Her breath fogged up the window. _“You don’t care. You never cared.”_

 _“Of course I do,”_ she snapped, unable to resist the pull of Courtney’s argument.

 _“You said you care about Nick. And Isaac.”_ She peered into Emily’s eyes. She had a subdued look of sadness on her face. _“What about me? Don’t you care about me?”_

Emily opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Her feelings about Courtney were complicated. She had hated her for so long. But where did that hatred come from? It couldn’t simply be her horrid attitude or the fact that she was a bully. It was more than that. Because hate could only exist if you cared enough to hate someone. _Did_ she care about the blonde?

 _“Of course you don’t care.”_ Courtney turned away to look out the window again, her heart-shaped lips puffed out in a pout. _“No one cares about me.”_

 _“Because you push people away.”_ Emily answered quietly. _“You make it impossible for everyone around you to care about you.”_

There was a beat of silence. Then Courtney sighed.

 _“Not everyone.”_ She slid her fingers over towards Emily’s, their knuckles brushing together. _“Not you.”_ She licked her lips, tilting her head slightly, like she was trying to figure something out. _“You’re different, Emily.”_

Just as Emily was getting ready to pull her hand away, Courtney slid her fingers through Emily’s fingertips, snaking their hands together. She moved closer to Emily, forcing the brunette to instinctively move to the side, away from the window.

Courtney wasn’t deterred. She followed Emily, backing her into her bedroom wall. Her lips hovered over Emily’s. She was so close that Emily could taste the deadly sweet nectar of her breath. Emily quietly protested.

_“Courtney, I don’t…”_

_“Please…”_ Courtney’s voice broke, a quiet beg escaping her lips. Her voice was strained and loaded with emotion. _“Just let me have this one time.”_

Her sincerity stunned Emily. She couldn’t speak. And she didn’t stop her. She didn’t know how. She could feel Courtney’s agony, but it didn’t make sense to her.

Courtney moved her free hand up against Emily’s neck, paralyzing her senses. They gazed at one another in the dim light streaming through the window. Emily could see tears gleaming in her cold blue eyes. Courtney leaned forward, her soft lips capturing hers delicately.

Emily didn’t kiss her back, but she couldn’t push her away either. It was like every other time that Courtney had lured her in with her sensuality, but there was a notable difference in the blonde’s actions this time.

She was softer.

It felt _real_.

Courtney cupped Emily’s cheek, her fingers caressing her jaw line. Her skin was smooth, like silk. The warmth of it beneath her fingertips made her want to feel more. She wanted to feel the heat radiating off of her body. She wanted to see the look on Emily’s face as she held her down and claimed her...sent her into a world of desire that the brunette had never known, certainly at least not with Isaac.

Her brother was sloppy and didn’t know how to treasure what he had. The first time she overheard them in his bedroom fucking like jackrabbits she’d cracked his door to watch. She’d decided to record it to use as leverage against him, something she could use to blackmail him in case he ever decided to cross her. But as she’d watched them writhing together she’d seen the sad look of detachment on Emily’s face.

Emily seemed uncomfortable, like it was painful...physically and mentally. Isaac was so caught up in himself that he didn’t notice that Emily wasn’t enjoying it. Boys were like that. Nick was like that. They were so busy concentrating on not blowing their load that they couldn’t be in the moment. It’s why she liked leading her encounters with Nick. _She_ got to control what happened. He didn’t get to let go until she said so.

Watching Emily dissociate from it had confused her. It had also made her body flush with a heat she’d never felt before. She was certain it was anger. Because her brother was so incredibly stupid. And Emily was a liar. They were both sinners. Yet, something made her care. Something made her sympathize. Emily wasn’t comfortable. Emily was in pain. And it made her feel satisfied and sad at the same time.

Their actions felt like disrespect...a slap in the face. After they had finished she’d paced around her room and obsessively watched the clip. It made her irrationally angry that they were in his bedroom together...bathing in their sins. A wild energy had been flowing through her body. She’d paced the floor, muttering to herself and continuously watching the grainy footage.

It was only after she’d watched it nearly a dozen times that she realized she’d been focused on Emily the entire time. Something about the girl made Courtney feel like she was being dragged underneath the surface. She hated it.

The brunette was a parasite, attaching herself to her brain, latching on and refusing to leave. She had planted herself firmly in Courtney’s head. Ever since she’d stepped foot in Courtney’s life everything was going wrong.

It had driven her to do immoral things. It had driven her to crawl into her bed and weep as she watched the video over and over again. She had ripped her clothes off because they felt heavy. She felt exposed and it was driving her crazy. The sheets felt like fire against her skin. She felt like she could feel every fiber. Every speck of lint. When her fingertips touched her flesh she could feel the heat radiating off of it. It made her skin crawl.

When she closed her eyes she could still see the two of them. But instead of Isaac, she saw herself with Emily. Her fingers became Emily’s fingers. Her body was Emily’s body. She was screaming at her to stop, but she also wanted more. She hovered over the brunette, watching the smug look on her face. Emily knew what she was doing to her. In enraged her.

As her fingers worked furiously, a surge of energy raced through her body and she lost sight of everything. All she could see was the dark look of satisfaction in Emily’s eyes. So she decided to snuff the darkness out. Emily didn’t get to feel good about herself. She didn’t get to gloat. She needed to be taught a lesson. So she’d wrapped her hands around her neck and squeezed.

There was a gratifying satisfaction she got from seeing Emily’s eyes pop open and her face turning bright red as she struggled to breathe. She watched the light dimming in her deep brown eyes, three words repeating in her head:

_You’re an abomination. You’re an abomination. You’re an abomination. You’re an abomination._

She’d reached for a letter opener underneath the mattress. She’d leaned forward, close enough to hear her struggle for breath. Then she’d jabbed the letter opener into Emily’s jugular vein. She felt a pulsing rush as the brunette’s blood sprayed her in the face. It rejuvenated her.

But when she’d blinked it was all gone. And she was alone in her room. Naked and sweating and crying. And she knew...she knew that Emily and Isaac were still in the room next to hers. And all she had was a stupid fucking video.

But now...she had her. She had Emily in her clutches. It was real. She could feel it. And it was different.

It was _so_ different.

Her senses were heightened. She could taste her. She could smell her. She was glorious beneath her touch.

She could feel Emily’s heart beating against her rib cage as she pushed her body against Emily’s. She pressed into their kiss harder, crushing her against the wall. She felt Emily grunt against her lips as her back hit the wall, and the vibration of her groan reverberated in Courtney’s throat. The throbbing sensation she felt in her own chest as she slipped her tongue into Emily’s mouth seemed to clutch at her entire body.

A part of her brain was loudly screaming at her to tear her fingernails into Emily’s flesh until she screamed...to rip her clothes off and let their raw unadulterated passion consume her, while another part whispered softly to gently hold the brunette and cherish her and to quietly let the heat between them simmer as their bodies moved together.

She didn’t know which part of herself to listen to anymore. Emily had ruined her. It was all her fault.

She’d always known that Emily was different, but she had never been able to figure out why it bothered her so much. Now her head was full of loud noise that she couldn’t shut out.

She’d always believed, as Dylan Thomas said, _“I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me”_ and that her opposing mental forces was just the nature of her spirit. But it was tearing her apart. And it made her want to do the same to Emily.

Warm droplets streamed down her face. Emily could taste her tears. She could feel her sobbing as she desperately held on to the kiss. But she didn’t understand _why_.

Courtney knew she wouldn’t understand. She didn’t understand either. But she didn’t care. All she knew was that she felt alive when she had Emily in her grasp. And she wanted her. She wanted to have every part of her. Emily belonged to her.

Strange sensations flooded Courtney’s mind. Things she’d never dealt with before. She felt angry and sad and conflicted about something she didn’t understand. And it infuriated her.

She was fucked up. Emily was fucked up. They didn’t belong in the world. Not like this. They were damaged. God had sent them into the world broken.

_You have forsaken me._

She growled angrily under her breath. She wanted the noise to stop. So she pushed it all on Emily. She let it out as she cradled her face and moved her lips against Emily’s so hard that they would assuredly be bruised in the morning.

_Fuck God._

She felt her stomach clenching as she gave in. She started panting into Emily’s mouth, the sobs overtaking her as she clung to Emily’s body. The impulsive desire pushed her to do this. It wasn’t her. It wasn’t her fault. It was Emily. She was the rotten apple destroying Eden.

_Fuck Emily._

She had spent years pushing Emily away, playing with her like a toy. But now that she was actually leaving something felt torn inside of her. She felt betrayed. And hurt. And she wanted it to stop. Emily did things to her and she wanted it to stop. Yet, at the same time she _didn’t_ want it to stop.

 _Cognitive_ _Dissonance._ She’d told Emily after her break up with Isaac. _Fuck cognitive dissonance._

She rubbed her pelvis against Emily’s thigh, sucking in a breath and letting out a cry. She didn’t realize she’d stopped breathing. She’d been drawing so much oxygen from Emily that she didn’t even know her lungs weren’t working. But she let out a moan and felt them explode, stars bursting behind her eyes.

Things changed in an instant. She ripped her lips away from Emily’s. Her chest was heaving. But it was wrong. _They_ were wrong. She frantically wiped away the wetness on her face and let her forehead fall against Emily’s as she tried to keep herself from hyperventilating. She felt lightheaded, like she might pass out.

She was shaking, trembling. But she didn’t know if it was anger or fear. When she came to her senses she realized Emily was shaking, too.

 _“I…have to go.”_ Emily felt a quiet sense of panic seizing her chest.

It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, and she couldn’t breathe. She felt like she was being held in a vice grip. She was trapped, like every other time Courtney had sucked the life out of her.

 _“You feel it, too, right?”_ Courtney pressed her body against Emily’s again, mistaking the brunette’s shaky terrified breaths for excitement. _“You need me.”_ She pecked Emily’s lips again. _“No one knows you like I know you. No one understands us. We’re broken, you and me…”_

 _“I’m not broken.”_ Emily shook her head, trying to reach a part of Courtney she knew didn’t exist. _“You’re not…”_ She paused, trying to keep her composure. _“There is nothing wrong with feeling things…”_

 _“You did_ _this.”_ Courtney cut her off, refusing to hear what she had to say, _“And now you just want to run away and leave me here. But you need to fix it. You belong here.”_ She looked at her, the look of an apex predator in her eyes. _“You can’t go. We need each other…”_

Emily laughed out loud at how ridiculous she sounded. There was a thin line between her cynicism and complete terror. They were _alone_ in her house. And Courtney was dangerous. She was blaming her, _again_. The girl was spiraling. Emily could see it. She needed to get away.

 _“We…NEED each_ _other?”_ She almost choked on her words. _“You think I NEEDED you to make my life a living hell?”_

Courtney didn’t argue. She leaned forward again. Emily flinched, thinking that she was going to try and kiss her again. Instead, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath through her nose, letting the smell of Emily’s musk arouse her senses. Courtney could only imagine what she must taste like.

 _“You destroyed me.”_ Emily hissed through her teeth.

Courtney nuzzled against her, slipping her hand underneath Emily’s shirt. Her cold fingers felt like tiny snakes crawling against her stomach.

 _“I’m sorry.”_ The blonde’s breath was hot and smelled like vanilla coffee creamer.

 _“You’re sorry?”_ The words sounded almost comical. Emily scoffed. She pulled back, shoving Courtney’s hand away from her stomach…away from her child. _“I don’t forgive you.”_

She expected Courtney to lash out at her, so she readied herself for the incoming storm. Instead, the blonde looked at her, tears in her eyes. Emily couldn’t tell anymore if it was an act.

 _“I forgave you.”_ Her bottom lip trembled.

_“I have never done ANYTHING to you that you didn’t instigate first.”_

_“Because you needed to see!”_ Courtney raised her voice. _“You needed to see who you really are. I made you stronger. Braver. Look at you…”_ She played with the purple stripe in Emily’s hair. _“You’re taking risks. You’re stepping out of the box.”_

 _“I’m doing all of this for ME. Not for you.”_ Emily pushed against Courtney’s shoulder again.

But the more she pushed against the blonde, the harder Courtney pushed back. Her resistance seemed to make Courtney want her _more_.

There was a strange flicker in her eyes. She stared blankly at Emily as she fought back a sob.

 _“We were made in the devil’s image.”_ Courtney whispered.

Emily blinked in disbelief. She wanted to run. She wanted to get the hell away from her. Courtney was going to be the death of her. She just knew it.

 _“You really believe that, don’t you?”_ Her shock and disgust gave way to a brief second of sympathy. _“Courtney, you can’t…you can’t hate yourself for how you feel about girls…”_

 _“Stop it.”_ Courtney growled. _“You don’t know. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

 _“Hey, it’s okay…”_ She reached out to touch Courtney’s arm.

 _“Shut up.”_ She yanked her arm away.

_“I understand. It’s okay. I understand…”_

_“No. No!”_ Courtney slammed her eyes shut like she could force it away with sheer will. Tears spilled out. She grabbed her temples like she was in pain and uttered something under her breath.

_Make. It. Stop._

Her eyes fluttered open and she locked in on Emily. Without warning, she surged forward and attacked her lips again. It was less delicate this time. She was grasping Emily’s cheek so hard that her fingernails were digging little crescent shaped dents into her face. Emily let out a shocked cry.

 _“Stop…”_ Emily breathed hard against Courtney’s embrace, trying to pull away. _“You can’t just…”_

Courtney shut her up by shoving her tongue in Emily’s mouth and pressing her lips so tightly against Emily’s that she couldn’t speak. She dug her fingernails deeper into Emily’s cheek.

Her other hand hovered between them, her fingertips grazing the waistband of Emily’s jeans. She wanted them off. She wanted to feel the slick heat and moisture she knew was beneath them. She wanted to bury herself in Emily and stay there forever.

 _“Take off your pants.”_ Courtney bit Emily’s lip, moving her hand towards the button on Emily’s jeans.

 _“I said no!”_ Emily ripped her lips away and shoved Courtney backwards.

Courtney had never understood boundaries, and Emily was convinced she never would.

Courtney let out a needy frantic cry as she desperately reached for the button and zipper on Emily’s jeans again, popping the button and ripping the zipper down. Emily crossed one arm in front of her unzipped jeans and tried to push Courtney away with her other. Courtney’s adrenaline gave her a surge of strength. She yanked Emily’s hand away and tried to get into her pants, her fingers dipping down into them.

_It’s mine. She’s mine._

Emily slapped her hands away, which pushed Courtney over the edge. The brunette always made her mad. Courtney glared at her.

_You made me do this. It’s your fault._

She rammed her shoulder against Emily and pushed her back against the wall again, forcing their lips together. She had to get back what they had a few minutes ago. She had to make Emily see that this was how it was supposed to be.

She grasped Emily’s wrists and pushed them against the wall, holding her down as their lips clashed. She knew Emily wanted her. She’d known since their first kiss in the locker room.

Emily managed to pull one of her wrists free. She’d been caught off-guard by Courtney’s freakishly strong hold on her, but she recovered quickly. She pushed back, freeing herself from Courtney’s grasp.

 _“Why are you fighting this so hard?”_ Courtney’s anger gave way to a sad frustration. _“We could be a family. We could…we could run away and be a family.”_

 _“You’re delusional.”_ Emily darted away from her, stumbling as she buttoned her jeans back up. _“You’re right about one thing though. I’m running away…with my family. And you’re not part of it. You never were. You never will be. And the fact that you don’t see that what you’re doing is wrong makes me pity you. You’re a sad excuse for a human being, and I hope I never see you again.”_

She huffed, moving her arm up to her lips. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve, trying to get the taste of Courtney out of her mouth.

 _“Have a nice life.”_ She turned her back on the blonde and paced towards the door.

Courtney scrambled after her.

 _“Emily, wait!”_ Courtney cried, reaching out to grab her wrist. Emily spun around angrily, ready to knock her the fuck out. But then she saw how pitiful the girl looked. _“I don’t want to lose you, too.”_

 _“You never had me.”_ Emily tried to pull her hand away, but Courtney tightened her grip. _“Just because your boyfriend is moving across the country and your family hates you doesn’t mean you can just go out and collect a new family. You can’t MAKE people love you. Nick and Isaac are lucky if they manage to get away from you. Now let me go.”_

Courtney blinked absentmindedly. She flinched like Emily had struck her across the face. She slowly let go of Emily’s hand.

 _“I’m sorry. I’ll do better. Please. I…”_ All the venom had drained from her face. She reached up like she was about to clutch her chest, but then dropped her hand and started to cry. _“I love you.”_

The words shocked Emily so much that she thought she might drop to the floor. The fact that Courtney had the audacity to stand in her bedroom and claim something like that after the _years_ or torture and abuse, after she’d tried to sexually assault her _again_ …

She looked around her hollowed out room and thought of all the beautiful memories of love she had with Maya.

Courtney didn’t love. She _possessed_. The girl didn’t know _how_ to love.

She faced the blonde, her lips in a tight line. She spoke calmly and evenly.

_“The thing about love, Courtney…it isn’t supposed to hurt.”_

Love and trauma did not go hand-in-hand, and that’s something that Courtney could never understand. Trauma had a gravity of force that pulled people into a path of destruction. Love was freeing.

Courtney tortured everyone in public. But for Emily, her punishment had always been in private. It had skewed Emily’s mind, making her think that she’d gotten off easy when it came to Courtney’s wrath. But the truth was…she’d quietly destroyed her in the shadows. A piece of her mind would always belong to her. But that didn’t mean she had to let it control her. Courtney couldn’t control her anymore.

She was free. For the first time in a long time.

She’d left her trauma behind as she walked away from Courtney for the last time. She hadn’t looked back as she bolted out her front door and raced towards her bike. She’d sped away, leaving her past in the dust.

* * *

The darkness of the night shifted into the glowing fluorescent lights at Rosewood High School. She’d been blocking the memory out since she had gotten to Rosewood. She’d promised to leave Texas behind for good. She had wanted so badly to leave all of it behind. Rosewood was supposed to be her fresh start.

She blinked several times and saw a hand moving in front of her face. The late bell rang, jolting her back into reality.

“Hello?” Hanna snapped her fingers. “Earth to Emily Fields. Are you coming to class or not?”

“Huh?” Emily shook her head and rubbed her temple. The memory was like a rippling image beneath murky water. “Sorry. Baby brain.”

Hanna’s eyes narrowed as she scanned Emily’s face. She pursed her lips and called her bluff.

“Liar.” She had a crinkle in her forehead as she peered at her friend in concern. “Is it the trial or the twins’ stupid stunt?”

“Neither.” Emily shrugged, shutting her locker. She motioned for Hanna to follow her towards the bathroom. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“We were worried when you didn’t show. I asked for a hall pass to get a tampon from my locker. Teachers don’t question the uterus.” Hanna smiled, proud of her excuse. “We didn’t want you to be late…” Hanna pushed the bathroom door open, “…though I guess that’s a moot point now.”

“I can pull a little sympathy from Mrs. Horowitz and get away with being a few minutes late.” Emily pushed a stall door open. “Give me a minute. Baby bladder.”

“Take your time.” Hanna turned towards the mirror, taking the opportunity to check her make-up.

After Emily was finished she walked out of the stall. She glanced at the other stalls and checked each one individually to see if any of them were locked. She was satisfied when she saw that the bathroom was empty, because she knew Hanna was going to ask questions.

She walked to the sink to wash her hands. Hanna watched her curiously. Emily could tell she was dying to know what was going on. Emily grabbed a paper towel.

“Go ahead.” Emily gave her permission.

“Thought you weren’t supposed to talk about the trial.”

“You’re not going to ask about the trial,” Emily said.

“All I want to know is if he was the bitch sending you the threats.” Hanna had a very calm look on her face, but Emily could tell that she had the same burning fire beneath the surface that Alison had. “Tell me that you guys got him.”

Emily knew answering was tricky. She didn’t want to lie to her, but she didn’t want to put her in danger again. She knew that the best lie was rooted in the truth, so she answered carefully.

“He was definitely a part of it.” Emily nodded.

“What an asshole.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Did you find anything in New York? Caleb said something about his dad owning the car that he’s been sneaking around in. Was that what the DNA stuff was all about? He was looking for his dad for a payout of some kind?”

“We didn’t find out anything about his dad in New York.”

“Hmm. Weird.” Hanna’s lips twisted in thought. “Maybe Caleb can do a deep dive. We could…”

“I told you I want you two to stay out of it.” Emily shook her head.

“But if he’s locked up it’s not as dangerous, right?” Hanna cocked her head in confusion. “We can help you. Mona was right. We’re stronger together. We’ve got your back.”

“ _We_?” Emily questioned. “You didn’t tell the others, did you?”

“Of course not. I’d never betray your confidence.” Hanna reached out and touched Emily’s arm, her movement copied by her reflection in the mirror. “It’s just that…” She looked at her stomach. “Your kid is going to be here soon. And we want you all to be safe.”

Emily smiled at her friend. She didn’t know what she’d done to deserve such good friends, but she was glad she had them. She had been surprised to be reintegrated so easily when she got back to town. All of her old friends still loved her. She didn’t realize what an impact she’d made on them when they were kids. They were a very loyal bunch, and she was appreciative.

“It’s all under control.” It was the first straight up lie she’d told Hanna, and she could see the side of her lip twitch in her reflection.

She hoped Hanna hadn’t seen it. The girl was like a human lie detector. It was a trick she’d learned from her mother. She’d be great out in combat at getting the captured enemies to talk. She had a way about her. She was as good as truth serum.

“We should get to class.” Emily tried to dodge Hanna’s truth detector. “I’m falling a little behind.” She glanced at the door, angling her body towards the exit.

Hanna followed her without having to be prompted.

“Spence has got you covered. She still does tutoring…in between heading up the prom committee with Mona.”

“ _They’re_ heading up the committee?” She paused at the door.

“As far as I know. They even roped Toby and Mike into helping. Mike is working on a pre-prom party with Sabrina and Caleb at _The Brew_.”

“Yeah, I saw one of her flyers this morning. Seems like it’s going to be fun.”

“Parts of it will be. Other parts not so much. Toby apparently told Spencer that Ezra is doing some big open mic thing with his slam poetry.” She stuck her tongue out like she’d tasted something nasty. “I would rather slowly be killed by a steam roller.” She chuckled. “College has made him so emo. He was so easy-going when he was a senior here. He always made sure us lowly sophomores were doing well. Now he pouts about how hard it is after you graduate and writes poems about bills and shit, which is ironic since he’s a trust fund baby.”

They walked out into the hallway, narrowly missing the person in the hoodie scrambling around the corner and ducking into the supply closet. They walked by the closet and disappeared down the hallway.

After Emily and Hanna walked into their classroom, the closet door crept open and the person who had been spying on them quietly slunk out of school.

Emily tried to focus in class, but she was too distracted by Alison’s heightened emotions. They’d cleared the air a little bit that morning, but she was clearly having trouble dealing with all the pressure that was mounting. Emily wanted to do something to make her feel normal. The blonde was special to her.

After the bell rang most students rushed out of the room to get to their next class. Emily was packing up her things when she noticed that Spencer was lagging behind. She had several points to make about some of the equations they’d gone over in class.

“By this point you’d think that Horowitz would just sit down and let her teach the class.” Mona grabbed her bag with a laugh.

“You coming, Em?” Aria slipped her math book in her book bag.

“I’ve got to ask Spencer something. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Emily waved goodbye to the girls and started packing her things up. When Spencer was done talking to Mrs. Horowitz, the older Trig teacher walked into the hallway to monitor for shenanigans, leaving them in the empty classroom.

“Hey, what are you still doing here?” Spencer asked as she walked past Emily.

“I needed to talk to you.”

“Is this the kind of talk that requires you to give me a retainer fee of one dollar in exchange for counsel so it’s legally binding?” Spencer zipped up her bag.

“No.” Emily laughed, pushing herself to her feet. “Your mom has got that covered. She’s awesome by the way. What she’s doing for me is really nice.”

“My mom always liked you.” Spencer smiled.

Emily thought about how Veronica had told her that Spencer used to talk about her all the time. She didn’t realize she’d made that much of an impression.

Since she’d been back she hadn’t spent as much time with Spencer as she had with the other girls. Spencer was a very busy girl, so most of the time they just saw one another in passing or when she was hanging out with Toby.

“I’m surprised she even remembers me.”

“You were a memorable kid.” Spencer shrugged. “You helped me come out of my shell when I was younger. I was an insanely anxiety-ridden child. You got me to lighten up a lot. You were so laid back.”

“Got it from my dad.” Her father had taught her how to embrace life. If it had been up to her mother she never would have taken any risks when she was younger.

“How is he doing?” Spencer questioned.

“Better.” Emily cringed, thinking about the picture of his pill bottle she’d gotten in her father’s hospital room. “He and Alison were singing Lady Gaga together in the car this morning.”

“A sentence I never thought I’d hear.” Spencer started walking towards the door.

Emily followed her.

“Hey, you and Mona are spearheading the prom committee, right?”

“Yeah.” Spencer nodded.

“I want to ask Alison, but I’m going to need permission to do what I want to do. I don’t exactly have pull with the principal right now, but coming from you I think he might consider it. Think you could help me out?”

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you need. What did you have in mind?”

Emily had thought about whether or not she wanted to make it a public spectacle. It wasn’t really her thing, but she knew that Alison would enjoy being the center of attention. Plus it might take the heat off of her pregnancy.

“Think you could get me clearance to ride my bike through the hallway to the cafeteria and out into the courtyard?” Emily asked hopefully.

“Oh, I _have_ to hear this idea…”

“I have it all planned out. We could line the floor with something to keep the wheels from scuffing it. And the exhaust wouldn’t be a problem, because I won’t be inside the building long. I plan on riding in with two flags on the back. _“Let’s take a ride on the wild side”_ and _“Want to joyride to Prom with me?”_ and ask her in the cafeteria. Then I’d drive us out to a picnic set up out in the courtyard.”

“That’s the most Emily Fields thing I’ve ever heard.” Spencer grinned in approval. “And yeah, I think I can make that work.”

“Thanks. You’re the best.” Emily smiled.

“I didn’t take you for a prom kind of girl.”

“It’s not my scene, but Alison loves it. And I love her.” Emily shifted her book bag on her shoulder. “So, are you going with Toby?”

Spencer’s cheeks flushed with color and a dopey grin formed on her face.

“He asked me this past weekend. He was nervous. It was really cute.” She tugged on her sleeve. She looked like a little kid talking about her crush on the playground.

“How are things going with you two?”

“He’s a really great guy.”

Emily loved that they were happy. She loved that she didn’t have to worry about one of them intentionally hurting the other, like Courtney would gladly do to Nick. She didn’t toss and turn and wonder if her friends had some secret agenda like the blonde she-devil. She was so much better off in Rosewood.

Emily and Spencer parted ways and Emily rushed to her next class. She saw several eyes on her as she trudged through the hallway. She made it without breaking a sweat. She had managed to stay in great shape throughout her pregnancy. She knew that she was lucky. Not every pregnancy was as smooth as hers. She’d certainly had some setbacks. Emotional mood swings. Physical discomfort. Swelling in her hands and feet. Back aches. But she knew that the end would justify the means.

She didn’t pay attention to the judgmental looks she continued to get throughout the day. She ignored the whispers and the snarky comments.

She was too focused on other things to care. She checked her phone throughout the day, but she didn’t hear a word about Wilden’s betrayal. It made her feel paranoid. Maybe it was part of a ploy. Maybe Wilden was trying to trap her in some way.

She had her face buried in her phone as she walked out of her last class of the day, Alison’s hand in hers.

“Anything?” Alison asked.

“Radio silence.” Emily frowned, putting the phone away.

They walked down the hallway, glancing at all the flyers plastered all over the walls. Most of them were about prom.

There was a lag in Alison’s step. Emily could tell she was longing to go, but she was holding back her feelings about it. Emily had a feeling it was because Alison didn’t want her to overexert herself.

Alison was always grumbling about the fact that she was continuing to train with Jake. She didn’t like her being on her feet for long periods of time because she knew her ankles would start to swell and hurt.

“You want to go?” Emily stopped walking and turned to face one of the flyers, trying to hide her smile.

She already had her plan set in motion. She wasn’t going to let her girl miss something as monumental as prom.

“I don’t know.” Alison turned towards the flyer, pretending to give it a once-over. “Our track record with dances doesn’t have the night ending well for us.”

“Yeah, but one half of the torture committee is behind bars now.” Emily reached out to touch the flyer, smoothing over one of the edges.

At the mention of Wilden’s name, Alison turned to face her girlfriend with a peculiar look in her eyes. The man had damaged her in ways that would take years to work through, and Emily hated him for it.

“Maybe we’ll get lucky and a chainsaw will fall on _his_ head and he won’t be a problem for us anymore.” Emily stroked Alison’s arm.

“The idea of a hit-man _has_ crossed my mind.” Alison admitted. “A giant chainsaw to the head would be fitting.”

“The plus side to this dance is there will be no large garden variety weapons.” Emily playfully bumped into Alison. “Come it, it’ll be a night we’ll never forget.”

“We’ve had plenty of those.” Alison shrugged. “Why are they having it so early this year?” She turned away and reached for a brochure on the table next to the display. “April isn’t exactly the prime month for proms. We’ve got finals and registration deadlines and a bunch of other bullshit they pile on us.”

“I think it had something to do with the venue.” Emily looked over her shoulder at the brochure. She reached to take it away from Alison. “It was the only time it was available or something.”

“Lame.” Alison scoffed.

“Why are you so anti-prom all of a sudden?” Emily questioned.

“I’m not. It just seems stupid to spend a bunch of money on a high school dance.”

“Is that what this is about? The money? Because I can splurge for a couple of tickets. Anything for you.” She wrapped her arms around Alison’s waist, pushing her belly against Alison’s back. She kissed her cheek, eliciting a smile from her. Alison turned around in her arms and Emily poked her nose. “You _love_ being the center of attention. You _love_ to dance.”

She waved the brochure in front of the blonde’s face.

Alison snatched it, unamused.

“It’s probably going to be boring. And it’s going to be a long night. We’d be on our feet for _hours_ …” Her eyes shot down to Emily’s stomach.

“I still work long days and I do just fine.” Emily assured her.

“I just…I worry.” Alison curled into her frame, wrapping her arms around her.

“I know. But trust me, this kid _likes_ to dance. On my spleen. On my bladder. On any organ she can find. She’s constantly twerking in there.”

Alison snorted out a laugh at the image of a baby pulling some dirty dancing moves.

“Come on, Alison…it could be fun.”

“You don’t do tradition. You don’t conform to society or do dances.” Alison reminded her.

“For this one I’ll make an exception.” Emily pushed the brochure into the side pocket on her backpack. “Just think about it. You’re probably already in the running for Prom Queen.”

“How? I gave up my powers to become a _normal_ person at the beginning of the year when I met you.” She suddenly realized she was coming off as a bitch. She sweetly added, “Something I’m grateful for every day.”

“You’re Alison DiLaurentis. You’re in the running.” Emily laughed.

“Then you’re in the running with me.” Alison insisted.

“You’re picking me as your running mate?” Emily dramatically slapped her hand across her chest. “I am so honored. This could be the beginning of a beautiful partnership.”

“You are _such_ a dork.” Alison rolled her eyes with a laugh.

“I’m totally wearing a bunch of biker gear.” Emily grinned.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Alison tilted her chin up with a smile. She perched herself on her toes to plant a kiss on Emily’s lips.

“So…that’s a yes?”

“Maybe.” Alison played coy. “We’ll see.”

Emily tried to hide her smirk. Alison wouldn’t be able to say no when Emily rode up to her on her bike in the middle of the cafeteria.

A group of girls walked by them and over towards the prom table. One of the girls uttered something about maternity prom dresses. Another girl motioned to a flyer of Emily’s pregnant belly that they’d just put up.

Alison was ready to lunge at them, but Emily had another idea. She strutted over to the flyer. The girls watched, grinning, waiting on her to get angry and tear it down. Instead, she posed next to it and told Alison to take her picture.

She stuck her belly out with her hand underneath the pouch sticking out.

Afterwards she walked by the girls with a smirk.

“I’m going to caption it ‘when your baby has a more memorable prom night than the sad lonely bitches at Rosewood High’. This kid is already more popular than you could ever hope to be.”

She didn’t even bother looking back as she walked over and reached for Alison’s hand. She walked away with her head held high.

* * *

Over the next three days Emily basically flipped the bird at anyone who said anything derogatory about her baby. She shoved one guy against the lockers, but didn’t fight him because she didn’t want to get in trouble, and she didn’t want to her put her daughter at risk.

Alison _dared_ people to say something. The Queen Bee was back, and most of the student body was afraid to cross her. Every so often someone would mutter something judgmental. One of the girls on the cheerleading squad mocked her by touting around a fake baby from the Home Economics classroom.

Alison didn’t retaliate in front of Emily, but she secretly slipped into the locker room and replaced the bitch’s hair gel with liquid hair remover and bright green hair dye. During practice the girl’s whitish blonde locks started to take on a nauseating green hue as chunks of hair started shedding from her skull.

Alison did the same thing to one of the boys on the Lacrosse team. Mike had assisted after he heard some nasty locker room talk.

Alison kept her composure until the end of the week. What finally made her blow her top was walking to Emily’s locker with her after their last class to find that someone had written _SLUT_ across her locker door in big red letters.

Emily just rolled her eyes and spun the lock to open it and grab her books, but Alison was stewing in her anger. She whipped her head over to look at the group of students watching. Ben was holding up a phone recording her while the guys he was with snickered loudly.

Noel approached them with a curious look on his face. He let his gym bag slip off of his shoulder and on to the floor. He shot a disapproving look at Ben and the rest of the guys.

“Come on, dude, don’t you have anything better to do? Leave her alone.”

“You kidding? This is golden. I’m gonna be famous.” Ben grinned.

“I hope you’re planning on giving me royalties from that little movie you’re making.” Emily didn’t even bother to look towards the camera.

Their laughter was the last straw for Alison.

“Which one of you useless bag of dicks did this?” she snapped.

“Ali, let it go.” Emily shut the locker door. She knew people were going to talk. She didn’t care anymore.

“Emily, you don’t have to take this.” Alison’s eyes flashed in ire.

“It will blow over. They’ll find someone new to gossip about next week.” She reached for Alison’s hand. “Don’t feed the trolls.”

Emily met Ben’s gaze as they walked by the boys. She deliberately lifted her hand in a calculating manner curling her fingers into her palm one by one and squeezing her hand as if she had something round in her palm, serving as a reminder of the day that she’d bested him in the gym locker room. She wanted him to remember that she could easily whip him in a fight. She gave him a cunning smile, taunting him.

“I bet you don’t even know who the baby-daddy is,” Ben grumbled in a snarky tone. “Probably just got drunk like a whore and slept with the whole town and now that you got all the men out of the way you’re trying to fuck your way through the women, too.”

Alison stopped dead in her tracks, her heels spinning on the floor as she whipped around to face him.

“What the fuck did you say to her?” Alison glared.

She was primed and ready to attack, but in a surprising turn of events Noel came to Emily’s defense before Alison could. Alison raised her palm to strike Ben in the face, but Noel pushed his way in between them.

“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” Noel shoved him, knocking his phone out of his hand.

“What’s wrong with _me_? What’s wrong with _you_?” Ben shoved him back.

Their shoes scuffed against the floor as they pushed one another around, knocking into the other students until Noel finally spun him around and slammed him against the lockers. He didn’t hit him. Instead, he lifted his foot and brought it crashing down on his phone, shattering it.

“What the _fuck_ , Kahn!?” Ben shrieked, falling on to the ground to retrieve the remnants of his phone.

“Hope you had your camera insured, _Hollywood_.” Noel reached for his gym bag. He glared at his team. “Clean this shit up.” He motioned towards Emily’s locker.

There were a few murmurs from the rest of the boys, but they scattered to gather cleaning supplies. Ben stormed away in an angry huff. Noel gripped his bag and glanced at Emily, giving her a slight nod as he turned to walk away.

Alison and Emily looked at one another in surprise.

“That was…” Alison couldn’t find the words for it. “Why did he do that?”

“I don’t know.” Emily shifted on her feet and adjusted her backpack. “Penance?”

“Maybe he’s dying or something.” Alison’s face tightened as she scrutinized the empty hallway where Noel had just been standing.

“Maybe.” Emily shrugged. “Or maybe he’s just less of a dick when Wilden isn’t looming over him.”

“Have you heard anything else about the trial?” Alison curled in on herself, bringing her arms up in front of her chest and wrapping them around her front. “Tanner is a Pit Bull that won’t let go, but she’s not the greatest when it comes to keeping me in the loop.”

“I haven’t heard anything from Mrs. Hastings either. I assume that when something happens we’ll know.”

Alison rubbed her bare arms and then dropped them down by her side again. Emily could tell that she was uncomfortable.

“Have you heard from you know who?” Alison questioned.

“Not a peep since I sent the text after the trial.” Emily shook her head.

“Maybe Wilden’s arrest scared his partner enough to send them packing.”

“Maybe.” Though Emily didn’t think that was the case. It didn’t explain how the police had gotten their hands on the evidence of his crimes. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ve got some leftovers calling our name at my place.”

“House or apartment?” Alison reached in her pocket to retrieve her car keys.

Emily had been splitting her time between both places. Sometimes she stayed at her parents’ house, just to be close to her dad. Other times she liked the serenity of her apartment. Her neighbors were quiet and considerate, which was like hitting the jackpot in shared living spaces.

“Maybe I should start calling the apartment _our_ place.” Emily smiled as she wrapped her arm around Alison and pulled her close.

It was nice to have a private place where it was just the two of them, though Emily didn’t know how permanent the place was going to be. Their future was up in the air.

“I mean, I do already have a toothbrush there.” Alison laid her head against Emily’s shoulder.

“Next up…toothpaste!” Emily teased.

“Or…maybe my wardrobe?” Alison poked her in the ribs.

“Would that wardrobe include prom attire?” Emily questioned.

She was planning to formally ask Alison the following Monday at lunch. She had everything set up with Spencer and the girls.

Alison had been more amenable about prom now that she’d had some time to think it over. She smiled when Emily mentioned prom dresses.

They talked about it on the way to Emily’s apartment. Alison thought Emily’s enthusiasm about the dance was cute, and she appreciated that Emily wanted her to enjoy the last few weeks of high school.

It was crazy that the school year was almost over. It had gone by so quickly. It felt like no time had passed since the weekend before school started…when she met the girl of her dreams. Everything before that was murky. She didn’t remember, or rather she didn’t _want_ to remember her life before Emily.

She felt like the luckiest girl on the planet. Every moment with her girl was precious. And every moment with the baby was going to change her for the better. It was going to change everything for all three of them.

Later that evening when they were lying in Emily’s bed looking through prom pamphlets and reading through facts about NYU Emily’s eyes were on the brochures in her hands, while Alison’s eyes were on Emily.

There was something about the way she looked when she was deep in concentration that made her so captivating. She looked so serious with her brows knitted together and her mouth in a tight line. Her face was aglow from the sunset painting the sky orange and yellow outside. It gave her the appearance of an angel. Alison had heard the cliché that pregnancy made people glow, but she could actually see it in Emily. She couldn’t take her eyes off of her.

“What?” Emily lowered the pamphlet she was holding when she noticed Alison staring.

“Nothing. I just like looking at you.” Alison said with a smile as she skimmed her fingers down Emily’s arm.

“Well, there is a lot of me to look at, so take it in.” Emily leaned back against the pillows and clasped her arms behind her head, inviting Alison to get closer to her body.

“You cocky little shit.” Alison chuckled, booping the tip of Emily’s nose with her index finger.

She took the brunette’s invite without hesitation as she moved up against her body. She nuzzled against Emily, her cheek brushing against her clavicle. Emily lowered her arm, wrapping it around Alison to pull her closer. Emily lowered her other arm and draped it over her protruding belly.

Alison stared at Emily’s hand, watching as it twitched as the baby moved below her palm. Emily gently rubbed circles until her daughter settled against her hand. Alison smiled. She’d seen Emily become more subconsciously maternal throughout her pregnancy, and she found it incredibly sexy. The fact that Emily was catching hell from their peers really pissed her off. If they could only see Emily the way she saw her...if they could only see how much love she had to offer...how much she loved her baby...

“Does all the teasing really not bother you?” Alison reached for Emily’s hand.

“The fact that we have someone trying to actively kill us bothers me. High school drama is meaningless.” Emily gripped the tips of Alison’s fingers and started playing with them. “If this pregnancy has taught me anything it’s about the importance of perspective.”

Alison looked down at their joined hands over Emily’s stomach.

“What do you think she’ll be like?” Alison asked.

Emily took a thoughtful breath. She’d dreamed about her daughter for months, and the picture in her mind was starting to become clearer.

“I think she’ll always be on the go.” Emily moved her palm over the backs of Alison’s knuckles, pressing Alison’s palm against her stomach. “She’s so active. I can’t imagine that she’ll ever let a minute of life go by without exploring. I think she’ll be smart and sweet and probably very stubborn like her mother.”

“All great qualities.” Alison smiled.

“I hope she’s eager to learn. And I really hope she gets Isaac’s kindness and his sensitivity.” She faced Alison. “And your tenacity and persistence. And your courage.”

Alison blushed. She loved that Emily had included her.

“I hope she gets your sense of adventure and your fearlessness.” Alison massaged her stomach.

“I don’t know about the fearlessness. It’s gotten me in some pretty tight spots before.” But she never regretted any of it. It always gave her a story to tell. “I want her to be open to adventures and to taking chances.” She peered at Alison. “Taking chances is how I ended up with the love of my life.”

The remark made Alison feel a rush of heat running up her neck and into her cheeks. Her face flushed as her lips twitched into a bashful smile.

“She’s going to be beautiful. I bet she’ll look just like you. A little clone.”

“I think a lot about what she might inherit from Isaac’s side of the family. It used to bother me.”

She shuddered thinking about what Courtney was like as a child. She’d heard horror stories from Isaac. Emily didn’t want to end up with a mini-version of his sister. It terrified her to think that she might end up with a little mini-Courtney, but she had to believe that nurture and love would make her child soft and kind, like Isaac.

“It doesn’t bother me anymore though. I’m curious, because even though his sister and his parents are terrible, his grandparents are wonderful. His grandmother used to tell all these wild stories about their youth. And his grandfather always commanded the attention of the room with his big smile. Isaac loves them. They met as kids in the 60s when it was illegal for interracial couples to get married in some parts of the country. They watched the civil rights movement unfold. They saw the case of Richard and Mildred Loving explode all over the national news. Did you ever learn about that?”

“I don’t think so.” Alison shook her head.

“They were an interracial couple in Virginia, where it was illegal for them to get married. They went to DC, where it was legal, and got married. But when they were back in Virginia the police busted in their door and dragged them out of the house and arrested them because they were sharing a bed.”

“That’s so fucked up.” Alison’s forehead scrunched up into a scowl. “Why is it that people want to control who other people love? I hate it. It’s like…you’d think as a society we would have evolved by now. Love doesn’t hurt anyone.”

“They sued the state and won, so there’s that. It was a huge step towards equal protection for interracial couples. Isaac’s grandparents saw it all firsthand. And they don’t take what they have for granted. They’re really good people. And Isaac is a great person, too. I’m not entirely sure why Isaac’s father turned out the way he did, and I’m also not sure why Courtney turned out the way she did either. I think genes can only account for so much. And I know this baby is going to be so loved that she’ll never take anything for granted.”

“She’ll be amazing. Because _you’re_ amazing.” Alison wrapped her arms around Emily’s body. Her skin was like a warm sandy beach.

“I just want her to know that she can be whoever she wants to be. Love whoever she wants to love. And do whatever she wants to do.” Emily reached over to thread her fingers through Alison’s hair.

“You know, if I had a mother half as conscientious as you maybe I wouldn’t have been such a rotten child. Really makes me wonder about the nurture versus nature debate.”

“I think about that all the time. There are so many outliers. Courtney and Isaac were raised by the same people, but they couldn’t be more different.” She fidgeted with her fingers. “He’s the kindest guy I have ever known. When he was little he had a bunch of cute dorky stuffed animals. Courtney was probably practicing killing _real_ animals. And I can’t say it’s because of her upbringing. Because Isaac was brought up the same way. And he’s not perfect, but he has humanity in him. But Courtney…she’s just…cold.” She couldn’t think of any other way to describe her.

She felt her body tensing up when she thought about the last night in her house. Courtney had really believed that her actions were okay. She’d seen her unhinged before, but never like that.

“I’ll never understand her.” Emily had a pensive expression on her face. “There were times when she…” She paused, hesitating, “…she wasn’t…” She sighed, thinking about the torn look she’d seen on Courtney’s face the last time she’d seen her, “She would do things…she would kiss me and pretend it meant something. But then, it’s like she shut down. And she lashed out. I don’t know if she knew what she was doing.”

“Don’t make excuses for her.” Alison frowned. She knew how much Courtney’s actions had affected Emily.

“I’m not. Believe me. She was a terrible person. But she was also scared and confused. She hated herself. And she took it out on me.” Emily glanced at Alison. “She’s not in her right mind, and I get that.”

“It doesn’t make what she did to you okay.”

“I know.” Emily smiled at Alison in appreciation. Her support meant the world to her.

“She’s no different than Wilden. She belongs behind bars.” Alison huffed.

“She belongs somewhere where she can get help.” Emily countered.

“How can you still feel that way?” Alison was ready to rip the girl to shreds. How could Emily still have enough compassion in her heart to spare the bitch who had tortured her? “What if we find out she’s the one who has been working with Wilden? That she’s the one who wants to hurt you and the baby?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Why? Because she’s a girl?”

“Because she’s Isaac’s sister.” Emily gave Alison a soft look. It helped tamp down Alison’s anger. “I know you don’t understand. I...I don’t entirely understand either. Isaac knows she’s fucked up, Ali. We both do. But the thing about family is that even if you don’t owe them shit and you _know_ you don’t owe them shit, you still _feel_ like you owe them. We don’t know if she’s involved or not. If we find out that she is then we’ll deal with it. I’ll be the first one to file a police report. I’ll also be the first one to make sure she gets mental help. But until we know anything for sure it’s not my place to meddle in Isaac’s life. Not anymore. I’m already complicating things for him. He’s on the outs with his parents. He’s cutting his sister out. He’s changing everything in his life. He wants this baby to be safe.”

“Have you two decided on what his role is going to be?” Alison timidly questioned.

She knew it was something that Emily had been struggling with. She had been struggling with it, too. She had mixed feelings about Emily and Isaac. She kept her face buried against Emily’s body, trying to shield her watery eyes.

Emily had told her more than once that nothing was going to change. She had assured her that Isaac knew how important she was to her and the baby. But Alison still couldn’t help but feel out of place, which drudged up some of her more possessive qualities. She didn’t like to share, especially when it came to Emily and the baby.

“I think he wants to be there for her, but he doesn’t know if there is a place in her life for him. I told him there was if he wanted to be.”

Alison clenched her teeth and tried not to think about what it would look like if Isaac moved in next to them and was around all the time. She knew it was his right to know his baby, but she couldn’t picture what co-parenting would look like. She was still coming to terms with the idea.

“He still doesn’t know. And I told him that’s okay. I know he’s under a lot of pressure. He asks about her, but it’s almost like he’s asking because he thinks it’s what he’s supposed to do. He says he’s struggling to feel connected, which I totally get. I think he’s overwhelmed. I don’t know how much of it is the distance and the commitment and how much of it is because of his family.”

“I don’t want those psychos anywhere near her.” Alison clenched her jaw.

Isaac was one thing. He was a decent guy. But if his family tried to get anywhere near the baby she wouldn’t be afraid to fight dirty.

“He doesn’t either,” Emily said. “He doesn’t trust them.”

“Have you asked him about the place in Buffalo yet?”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up without him asking me a million questions. He’s already on edge because Courtney threatened to tell everyone about the baby. And if his parents find out we’ve been talking…” She huffed out a sigh. “Then again I’m getting to a point where I don’t give a shit if they find out, even if they got petty and tried to pull something with custody. It’s not like they can just rip her from my arms. I would fight them until my dying breath.”

“They’d have to go through me, too.” Alison had a determined expression on her face. “Them and Courtney both. She’ll never get her murderous little hands on this baby.”

“You know what’s weird? Courtney is eerily good with babies. She loves Nick’s baby cousin.”

“What kind of crazy person would let her anywhere near a baby?” Alison frowned.

Emily remembered having the exact same thought when she saw Courtney playing with Nick’s cousin the day she’d been packing boxes with her family. But she’d seen a side of Courtney she’d never seen before. She’d been making goofy faces at him and cooing and acting _normal_.

“The world is a strange place.” Emily shifted against the pillows, arching her back to counter-attack a cramp that was blooming in her back. Alison sat up, worried that maybe her weight was making her feel uncomfortable, but Emily pulled her into her embrace again. She wanted her close. “I know this is really hard for you. There is a lot happening…with Isaac and his family, and I know it’s not easy for you. But I want you to know that _you_ are the most important person in my child’s life. I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but you’ve been my rock throughout this whole thing.”

Alison’s jealousy dissipated. The warm inviting look in Emily’s eyes was all she needed to see to make her feel better.

“Says the girl who punched a teacher to protect my honor.” Alison raised her hand towards Emily’s cheek, using her index finger to swipe away a wild stray hair in her face.

“You took a blade to the side for me from that same psycho.” Emily reached out and gently touched her side.

The gash had healed, but she had a scar from it. It made Emily angry when she looked at it. She hated Wilden.

“I’d do it all over again.” Alison put her hand on top of Emily’s.

She had turned into a protective Mama Bear that night. It had been about more than just Emily. It had been about the baby. Nothing would ever happen to Emily’s daughter while Alison was around. She’d make sure of it.

Emily’s phone buzzed from her nightstand. She looked over, twisting away from Alison to reach for it. Alison assumed it was Isaac. He checked in around the same time every night.

“Tell Isaac I said hi.” Alison stretched out, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m going to get a snack. You want something?”

“Yeah.” Emily picked up the phone. “I’ve been craving…”

She stopped mid-sentence when she saw the message. It wasn’t from Isaac.

She hadn’t seen the unknown number since she sent the message about Wilden. The response sent chills down her spine.

**_Snitches get stitches, but rats get silenced forever._ **

There was a screenshot of a news story attached to the message. Emily shot up when she saw the headline.

“Holy shit.” She gasped.

“What?” Alison eagerly crawled back on to the bed on her knees, hovering over Emily.

Before Emily could tell Alison anything her phone buzzed again. She saw Veronica Hastings' name pop up and answered it immediately.

“Mrs. Hastings?” The look on her face was a mixture of shock and intrigue.

She scooted to the edge of the bed and pressed the phone close to her ear as she listened closely. She didn’t say much. She replied mostly in non-verbal cues, occasionally muttering a _‘yes’_ or an _‘okay’_. Alison watched her facial expressions. She couldn’t make out what Mrs. Hastings was saying.

The phone call only lasted for three minutes. When Emily hung up her face was frozen in confusion. She stared, unblinking, totally stunned.

“What is it?” Alison leaned towards her in anticipation, her eyes wide. “What did she say?”

“She was trying to get in touch with me before the story broke…” Emily slowly lowered her phone. She glanced at the screen again, staring at the message. She lifted her head and met Alison’s eager eyes with her own.

“Em, what’s going on?”

Emily looked at the headline again. She wasn’t sure it was real. But it had to be real. Spencer’s mother confirmed it.

She tilted her head and blinked several times, like if she batted her eyes hard enough it would all become clear…like it would all make sense. She gripped her phone tightly. Then she very calmly faced Alison.

“Wilden is dead.”


	33. Family Values

* * *

**Chapter 33:**

**Family Values**

Wilden’s death was all everyone in Rosewood talked about for the next several weeks. It took the spotlight off of Emily’s pregnancy, but people were still casting sideways glances at her in the school hallways and everywhere else in town.

On top of that, people looked at Alison and Emily like they had something to do with Wilden’s death. Crazy theories suddenly emerged about how Alison’s rich parents paid a hit-man to do the dirty work or how Emily’s military father had a super-secretive government operative kill him. All crazy flights of fancy perpetuated by psychopaths and trolls and exacerbated by the dark side of the internet. Someone even created the hashtags _#DeadlyDykes_ , _#WhoDoneitWhores,_ and _#SluttySerialKillers._

Alison knew the twins were behind it, but she couldn’t prove it. Emily told her not to feed into it. She managed to keep her head held high, and in the process helped Alison do the same. They even had a little fun with a hashtag that popped up dubbing them the _#MobsterMamas_ by wearing fedoras to school.

The commotion hadn’t stopped Emily’s promposal to Alison. She’d planned everything out with Spencer. She’d driven her bike into the cafeteria just like she’d wanted. Alison had loved it, and her answer was a resounding “yes.” Some of the students cheered. Others just looked at them like they were pariahs. It didn’t bother them.

They found support in a lot of the women in town…women whose daughters had been groomed and victimized. A lot of the girls involved went out of their way to be a pillar of support. Their friends were also there every step of the way.

Spencer’s activist side came out. She put together a women’s group at school with Mona as her co-president. Aside from prom, it was one of the first times the two of them had worked together without wanting to strangle each other.

Aria worked with Ezra and Jake to put together a self-defense program at the gym to help women feel more empowered. Hanna took it upon herself to shut down anyone who had anything negative to say about them.

Not many details had been released about the death. Only that it was a suicide, though Emily and Alison knew better. It just as easily could have been someone enacting the prisoner’s code and killing the perv, but it also could have been someone on the outside.

They hadn’t heard from Wilden’s other half. Whoever had been sending the messages had gone dark. Emily suspected it was because they had stopped digging. But the silence was more nefarious than they realized. A dangerous darkness was growing in the thick quiet blanket of the serenity. The storm was still raging, but the calmness of the storm’s eye created an illusion. It was giving them a false sense of security.

They didn’t know they were still being watched. Courtesy of Wilden. His little tracking device idea had ended up paying off in the long run. The girls rarely took their jewelry off. Their movements were predictable. They stayed close to town. They stayed close to each other.

New York had really scared them senseless, but after Emily’s dad had been poisoned and Wilden was killed they realized they were in over their heads. And they had no idea what to do about it. If they told anyone they risked the lives of everyone they cared about.

Fortunately, they had other things occupying their time. Emily’s due date was getting closer. Things were starting to get real for her.

She found it freeing to have the pregnancy out in the open. She heard the whispers from the town gossips who thought she was some kind of rebellious harlot, but it didn’t bother her. After everything she had been through the insignificant things didn’t really matter to her.

It was the little things that mattered, like the way the early April sun hit her girlfriend in a striking way through the car windshield, illuminating her tiny dimples as she leaned carefully towards the steering wheel. Spring had never looked more beautiful, though autumn still had Emily’s heart.

Emily kept her eyes on the blonde. Alison always had a very serious dip in her brow when she was driving. Her sunglasses covered the intensity of her eyes, but Emily knew they were fixed on the road. She was cautious when she was driving Emily and the baby places. She knew she had precious cargo on board.

They were on their way to a birthing and early childhood education class. Crossing the threshold into her eighth month of pregnancy had really ignited a passion to learn. They had been listening to books on tapes and podcasts about pregnancy together to prepare. The birthing class was just another step in the process.

“How is your dad doing?” Isaac’s voice startled Emily out of her trance.

She’d been staring at her hot girlfriend so intensely that she’d completely forgotten she was on the phone with Isaac. They’d been talking more frequently since her dad’s heart attack.

“Better.” Emily toyed with her seat belt nervously. “His meds have been adjusted and he’s doing well.” She couldn’t tell him the truth. _I think your psychotic sister had someone poison him._ She reached over and mashed the button to lower the window, cracking it to get some air. “How are things there?”

“Still a war zone.” He huffed. “I’m doing my best not to get hit by shrapnel. Courtney is still having it out with Mom and Dad. It’s the worst I’ve ever seen…”

Maybe she was confronting them about the fact her father might not be her actual father. The theory that Wilden was searching for a long lost sibling before his death was all they had to work with. Maybe Wilden and Courtney had found each other through one of those creepy ‘Ancestry’ sites.

The question as to why she had him killed still remained. Turning him in and killing him was drastic, though it’s not like she was loyal to him. She’d done some abhorrent things to Isaac when they were growing up. She didn’t have _any_ loyalties to Wilden. But murdering him seemed extreme. Then again, Emily had seen Courtney at her most extreme.

She had seen the humanity in her eyes fizzle out. She had seen the monster inside. She’d heard it in the poisonous things she’d said, the angry _“You’re a freak, Fields.”_ She’d felt it in her cold angry grip, her fingernails tearing into her flesh. She’d tasted it on her lips, her tongue forcing its way into her mouth. She’d sensed it in her manic touch, her fingers vigorously touching her.

Courtney was a force to be reckoned with. She’d left Emily defenseless even when Emily had defenses against her. She’d summoned strength and pinned her against her will. She was capable of anything. Even murder. It made the situation with Isaac much more complicated.

“I can’t wait to get out of here.” There was something crinkling on Isaac’s end of the phone, like paper being balled up. “Did I tell you that I’m seriously considering Ohio? The scout loved me. The recruiter says they’re willing to offer me a free ride.”

“That’s awesome.”

She was happy for him. He’d worked really hard to maintain his sports scholarships, and she was proud of him. She always knew he would not only succeed, but excel in life. She hoped her daughter got that drive.

“I wouldn’t exactly be right next door, but…closer than Texas. I could come visit more often.” There was a strange tone in his voice, a timidity she wasn’t used to. “How…how would you feel about that?”

“You’re welcome here any time, Isaac.”

Emily heard Alison let out a quiet disapproving grunt from the driver’s seat. Emily shot her a warning look. She knew it was just a reflex. Alison was protective of what they had as a family. She didn’t let many people in her inner circle. She was going to be the kind of mother who ripped into children and parents who even dared look at her little princess the wrong way.

They still hadn’t discussed what the future plans were. They were taking it a day at a time. Isaac was honest about his inability to come to terms with the fact that she was having their baby. He’d admitted that even if he could get away from his family, he still had reservations.

He didn’t know how to feel about the baby. He’d talked to her about his confusion and how he was trying to work out his feelings. He wasn’t emotionally invested and he felt guilty about it. He’d told her that he didn’t _feel_ like a father, and that he felt bad about it. But he was curious about her. He wanted to know more about her.

“I really like Georgetown, too. It’s closer. But it doesn’t offer as much for me. And I don’t want to make these decisions based on…” He stopped himself short of saying what he was thinking.

He didn’t have to say it. Emily knew the rest of the sentence,

_“I don’t want to make those decisions based on you and the baby.”_

He wanted so badly to do the right thing and to be the father he never had. He wanted to be the kind of man that his grandfather was...the man who had defied everything for love. But his love had always been for Emily. His love wasn’t something that could be salvaged by adding a baby to the mix. And he understood that. He knew where he stood with Emily.

“I want to be a part of your lives, but I don’t know how big of a part. Does that make me an asshole? I should _want_ to be as close as I possibly can, right?”

“You’re not an asshole.” Emily assured him. “ _I’m_ the asshole.”

Alison took one hand off the steering wheel, which she _rarely_ did, and put it against Emily’s knee to comfort her.

“This is an unusual situation. And I know I made it worse by keeping it from you.” Emily put her free hand on top of Alison’s. “I get why you’re struggling with what you want to do. It’s totally fine that you don’t know. Take all the time you need. I promise I won’t judge you no matter what you decide.”

“Thanks.” He breathed a sigh of relief. He paused. Emily could feel the heavy weight he was carrying. She knew him. His heart was so big. “Man, I still can’t believe I got you pregnant. Your parents must hate me.”

“They were too focused on the ‘our daughter is a lesbian’ thing to even process the pregnancy at first.” Emily didn’t remember much about the night she’d spilled her guts to her parents, but she remembered her mother being equally outraged about both.

“I’m surprised your dad didn’t show up on my doorstep with his service weapon and threaten to shoot my ass,” Isaac said.

Emily bit her tongue. Her parents had wanted to tell Isaac’s family. She couldn’t imagine how that would have played out. It was terrifying to think about.

“My parents don’t blame you any more than they blame me.” They actually still held Isaac in high regard.

“I’m just saying…if Nick got Courtney pregnant my dad would fucking kill him. The fact that your parents don’t hate me is a testament to their self-control.”

“Well, my mother thinks murder is a sin.” Emily deadpanned. “Then again, she thought homosexuality was a sin and she didn’t stone me to death, so…grey area. She’s finicky that way. Might want to check your car for bombs. When she gets mad she gets _army_ mad. She won’t fight you. She’ll just try to kill you.”

“Don’t cross your mother. Noted.” He laughed. His laughter ceased after a few seconds. His mood seemed to shift. “So…um…what about you?”

“What _about_ me?”

“Do you hate me?” There was a quiet anticipation in his tone.

“What? No!” She answered without hesitation. “You know I could never hate you.”

“Your whole life is going to change because of me.”

“Because of _us_.” She corrected him. “I chose this. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do. And I wouldn’t change a thing, because if I hadn’t done everything exactly the way I’d done it…I wouldn’t have her. I don’t want to imagine my life without her.” She ran her hand up and down her smooth bump.

Alison smiled warmly. She wouldn’t change anything either. They were both madly in love with one another and with the baby. It was a happy accident. The happiest accident in the world.

“This child is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Her pregnancy had changed her in ways that she had never imagined. “And I wouldn’t have her without you. So, no, I don’t hate you. And yes, my life _is_ going to change. But in the best possible way.”

She was so thankful to have her baby. She was thankful that it had brought her and Alison closer. She was thankful because it had given them both a sense of family.

She knew that raising a child was not going to be easy. She knew that it wasn’t anything close to a fairytale. She knew it was going to be a rough road, financially and emotionally.

She’d become another teen pregnancy statistic, but she wouldn’t have done it any differently now that she’d connected to her baby. It wasn’t a life she’d recommend to her peers, but she wouldn’t trade her journey for the world.

“You’re such a good person,” Isaac replied.

“Only when I want to be.” Emily laughed. “Speaking of good people…” She trailed off. “I got the money you sent through the cash app. It was really thoughtful. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I want to contribute. I want to help.” He explained. “It’s today, right? The class?”

“I’m on my way now.”

“What exactly do you do in the classes?” Isaac asked.

“Well it’s a birthing and Lamaze class. It’s childbirth education. It’s about the birthing procedure. They coach you in some of the techniques in how to get through the labor and we’ll also go over the basics of caring for a newborn.”

“And Alison will be there, too? You won’t be alone?” There was no malice in his tone at all. He just wanted to make sure she had someone with her.

“She’s with me.” Emily looked over at the blonde, smiling at her. “She’s driving.”

“Hey, Isaac.” Alison glanced at the phone.

“Tell her to drive safe.”

“She always does.” Emily reached out and grasped Alison’s hand.

“How did your last doctor’s visit go? Is everything progressing okay?”

“She’s good. Healthy. The doctor said she looked like she was about five pounds. They said she’s about the size of a coconut.” Emily smiled as she put her palm over her swollen belly.

The latest ultrasound had been breathtaking. They had been able to see her in perfect detail. Her cute smooshy little nose. Her tiny little fingers. Her lips were pursed in thought, just like her mother’s. She’d been facing the probe taking the image, like she was ready for her close up. She was already curious about life. In the first picture they’d gotten she looked like she was sucking on her thumb.

“Do you want me to send you the ultrasound picture?” Emily put the call on speaker and started scrolling through her recent images.

“I…think I’d like that, yeah.”

Emily had sent him pictures of the previous ultrasounds, but Isaac hadn’t been able to tell much from them. Everything had just looked like static electricity. The most recent one had a clarity that the others didn’t.

Alison had been in tears when she saw the little girl at Emily’s appointment.

Emily had teased her, _“I thought I was supposed to be the emotional one.”_

Alison had responded by scoffing with a laugh, _“Shut up.”_

Emily scrolled through her images until she found the best one. She sent the picture, watching as the little check mark appeared in the text screen.

On the other end of the phone she heard Isaac’s text alert. There was a shuffling noise and then she heard him make a curious sound.

“Wow.” He sounded breathless. “Oh, wow. She’s like…she’s a little person.” His voice was noticeably quieter. He’d pulled the phone away from his ear to study the picture. “Em…she has your nose.” She heard rustling. He was zooming in on the picture. “This is wild. Everything is so…clear.” There was a thoughtful pause. “I think she has my jaw line.”

“I was thinking that, too.”

“God…wow…she’s beautiful. She’s going to be a beautiful baby.” He sounded like he was in disbelief.

“We have good genes.”

“You for sure. But I don’t know about mine. I know I’m a goofy-looking motherfucker.” He huffed out a laugh. “Hope she gets your ears.”

Alison had to stifle a laugh. She didn’t know that Isaac was so funny. She liked that he had a sense of humor about himself. She’d been so focused on whether or not he would derail her future with Emily that she’d ruled out the possibility that maybe he wasn’t that terrible. She didn’t really _know_ him. She only knew what Emily told her about him. And Emily loved him.

Emily took him off speakerphone. She put the phone against her ear again. She heard a scratching noise. She knew him well enough to know that he was rubbing his head.

“Man, technology is crazy,” he said. “That picture…it’s so surreal. I can’t believe she’s already making faces at the camera. Don’t kids usually wait until they’re out of the womb to do that?”

“She’s almost out in the world.” Emily pointed out. “Six weeks. Maybe seven if she decides to overstay her welcome.”

“Damn, I didn’t realize it was coming up so fast. Do you need anything?”

“Not right now.”

“Do you have a birth plan?” He asked curiously.

“Not really. I’m just going to wing it.” She said that about a lot of things in life, including things she most certainly should not wing, but when it came to childbirth she knew that she had to be open to anything.

“You always were a free spirit.” He chuckled.

“My mother denounces my hippie ways.”

“Still better than my mother,” he uttered. “I really _really_ hope this baby takes after your side of the family. I want her to be…normal. And I want her in a stable environment.” He sighed. “Instability is so fucked.” There was a quiet pause. “Think you and Alison can provide stability for her?”

_Only if we can catch the demonic psycho after us…_

“I do.” Emily answered.

“Have you two talked about the birth?”

“Yeah…about that…” She flinched uncomfortably. “There is something you should know.” She chewed on her lip. “I asked her to be there in the delivery room.”

Alison curiously turned her head, trying to get a feel for Isaac’s reaction. She caught a quick glimpse of the guilt on Emily’s face.

Emily nervously waited for his response. Trying to navigate between Alison and Isaac was very tricky. She felt like a jerk for not including him in the decision, but he didn’t seem to be upset.

“I kind of figured that.”

“I want to be honest with you. I promised you I would be honest with you.” Emily rubbed her maternity pants with her hand. “If you want to fly out here and be here you’re welcome to.”

“That might be hard to do without tipping off my parents. And like you said before, it’s not an exact science. We don’t know _when_ it’s going to be,” he said. “Sucks that we’re so far away. But in a way I’m kind of glad you got out when you did. You’re lucky. You escaped the madness.”

_If he only knew…_

Things were just as heated in Rosewood. It’s like she’d brought the toxicity from Texas with her.

“The Battle of the Alamo is getting wild.” He laughed, but it was half-hearted, almost forced.

“I’m really sorry you’re stuck there.”

“Only for now.” He tried to look on the bright side.

Emily felt truly sorry for him. She couldn’t imagine having to live with Courtney for eighteen years. She’d probably done a lot of psychological damage to him. She couldn’t let her daughter be subjected to that. If there was even the slightest chance that Courtney was behind everything they needed to know.

She thought about the trip to Buffalo and the house with Alison’s clothes and the mysterious red coats. Did that mean there were two people helping Wilden? Or was the other coat just a back-up? Had she recruited someone?

Emily knew she had to tread carefully, because if she accidentally dragged Isaac in to it he was in the direct line of fire. She thoughtfully considered how to prod for information.

“Has your sister said anything else about me? Or the baby?” She asked as casually as she possibly could.

Alison listened eagerly, trying to make out what Isaac’s response was. She poked Emily, trying to get her to put him on speakerphone. Emily shook her head and mouthed _“I’ll tell you after.”_

“Not since I chewed her out about everything. She threw things at me for a little while.” The grumble in his voice was telling. She could very clearly picture him rolling his eyes. “Now she’s moved on to passively aggressively doing little things to get under my skin. But other than being herself she hasn’t said much of anything to me. We’re not exactly on speaking terms. Besides, I hardly see her. She’s never home. And she started skipping school to piss off my parents.”

Emily felt her spine tense up. She was unaccounted for? She had to remind herself to stay calm. If there was any indication of panic in her voice Isaac would know something was wrong.

“How long do these stretches of disappearance last?” She made it sound curious, but not overly-important.

The question caught Alison’s attention. She glanced away from the road briefly, her brow raised in alarm. Emily put her index finger up against her lips to curb anything Alison might say that Isaac could overhear.

“It’s sporadic. Sometimes it’s just two days. But I’ve gone without seeing her for four days. She has friends she stays with. She’s there this weekend. And she stayed with Nick when he came to visit last week.”

“Nick was there?”

“Yeah. He said something about needing a break from school. I think it’s starting to take its toll on him. He seemed really sullen. I hadn’t seen him so moody since his blowout with Courtney at the club on Christmas.”

 _The club._ Emily gagged at the thought of it. She wanted to push that memory as far out of her mind as she could. Courtney had deliberately made sure that they were directly in her line of sight as they were grinding right out in the open. She still couldn’t get the sounds they were making out of her head. Courtney always had some kind of spell over Nick. And even though he was pissed at her that night he was happy to let her use him for sex.

The worst part of that entire night was Courtney’s little stunt in the bathroom. It had really messed with Emily’s head. She had been so catty about Maya. Then she’d pounced, a tiger ripping into her prey. She’d forced that encounter so hard that sometimes Emily could still feel the pain in her head and the panic she’d felt in her chest when Courtney refused to let go.

Courtney wasn’t someone who just threw someone around physically. She destroyed them mentally, too. That night in the bathroom had been no different. She’d made Emily feel small. And weak. Even though Emily could physically best her in a fight she’d paralyzed her and destroyed her with four words.

_“You’re disgusting. A disease.”_

Of course, Emily knew it wasn’t true, but it still cut her down. Courtney had often believed that she had some kind of claim over her. She’d said it over and over again until Emily had subconsciously believed it.

_“I. Own. You.”_

She didn’t want to love her. She wanted to _claim_ her. She wanted to dominate her. She wanted to take something that Emily was not willing to give. She’d said no, but Courtney made it seem like she was okay with it.

The girl was a master manipulator. It wasn’t a leap to consider that she was the one helping Wilden. But the fact that she lived in Texas complicated all the theories they had.

“I for sure thought they were going to break up that night. But Courtney dragged him back to our place because our parents were at a friend’s place. They went at it like crazy. Something had riled Courtney up.” He made a grumbling sound. “I swear she gets loud on purpose just to fuck with my head. I went out for a while and when I got back Nick was on the front porch smoking a cigarette. He seemed...” He tried to think of the right word, “...disconnected, not like a guy who had just had a marathon sex-romp.” She could hear him cringing. “He seemed really sad, actually. I don’t think he was as into it as Courtney was. He said she was like a maniac after something happened at the club. I always assumed it was about their fight.”

“Did Nick ever tell you what that fight was about?” Emily continued to press for information.

“Not that night. But we talked about it later. He just said they were on different pages about their future at the time. I asked him about it after I came to see you on Valentine’s Day. We had this really long talk when I got back to the city. I didn’t tell him that I went to see you, but he knew. Because apparently Courtney told him while I was gone. We snuck into a bar with some fake IDs and grabbed some drinks. Chatted over wings and beer. Danced with some locals. You know, typical guy’s night out.”

Emily felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Did Courtney go with you?”

“No. Apparently she got pissed at him because he told her she crossed the line creating drama over our personal lives.” He replied.

“Where was she?”

“I don’t know. Probably clubbing. New York is a wild city.” He sounded perplexed. “What’s with all these questions? I feel like I’m on trial here.”

Emily cringed. She’d pushed too hard.

“She didn’t show up in Rosewood, did she?” he questioned.

“Not that I know of. I never saw her.”

But that didn’t mean she hadn’t been there. _Someone_ had slipped into her house to mess with her dad’s drugs at _some_ point. Granted, it could have been Wilden, but Courtney was sadistic enough to do that.

“You think she might have been there?” He read between the lines.

Emily didn’t answer. Isaac didn’t like her silence.

“Em…is she harassing you?” His tone sounded serious. When Emily didn’t reply, he pushed. “You said she did stuff to you after she found out about your sexuality. Did she hurt you?”

 _Hurt_ was a relative term. Courtney had destroyed her. In several senses of the word. She had chipped away until there was nothing left. It had forced Emily to rebuild herself. It had changed her, though she didn’t like to admit it. Because if she admitted that Courtney’s actions had a part in who she was she was admitting that her actions had merit when they didn’t. It was cause and effect. The causality of the events in her life had contributed to who she was as a person.

“Emily…did my sister hurt you?” The question was blunt and left no room for ambiguity. The more he spoke the angrier he sounded. “Listen, I know what she’s capable of. I’ve got a lifetime worth of scars to prove it.”

“Isaac…” Emily replied empathetically. She’d seen a few cuts and bruises on him, but she’d never stopped to consider the toll his emotional scars took.

“It’s…it’s fine.” He brushed it off. “I can handle myself. I may get a little scraped up here and there, but…you know…nothing big. We fight. It’s what we do. She’s my sister. Brothers and sisters fight.”

“Not like she fights,” Emily said softly.

She expected him to rebuke her claim, but he didn’t.

“I know. You’re right.”

He’d never known anything different, so he thought it was normal. And there were times, rare occasions, when his sister showed up for him. She would beat the holy hell out of anyone who made fun of him, like the racist little shits in the cafeteria at school. But when she wasn’t standing up for him she was beating the holy hell out of him on the side.

Isaac was coming to terms with the realization that his family dynamic was not normal. It was Emily’s pregnancy that had opened his eyes. Because he realized how toxic it would be for an innocent child to be around his sister. He’d known when he was little that she was messed up. He had never understood why his friends had older brothers and sisters who played toy cars with them and held their hands when they were walking down the sidewalk. He didn’t understand it because while his friends’ siblings were playing with them, his big sister was locking him in small spaces and sitting on his chest until he couldn’t breathe. His earliest memory was toddling after her and calling for his “sissy” and Courtney turning around and pushing him down.

As he’d gotten older he’d wondered if it’s something he had done. He’d done his best to be a good brother. It wasn’t until they got to high school that he realized something was seriously wrong with her. He’d spent years trying to fix it himself. But he couldn’t fix her. He didn’t have the right tools. And the more he tried to help her the more she resented him.

“I’ve always tried to hide my scars,” he said quietly. “And I’ve always tried to protect the people I love from her. I assumed if I could just keep her in check that the people in my life would be safe. In a way I felt like I was protecting her, too…from herself.” He sounded irritated, but not at Courtney. At himself. “I don’t know why I let her get away with her shit for so long. I don’t know why my parents turn a blind eye to it. Maybe that’s where I got it. Maybe I feel like I owe it to her…because we’re blood, you know? But I can’t anymore. Because I love you. I know you don’t want me to…”

“It’s not that I don’t…”

“It’s that you don’t feel it in the same way. I know.” The line was silent for a few seconds. “But I do love you. And if she hurt you…if she _ever_ …” He growled under his breath, “…if she ever did anything to you I want to know. I don’t want you to protect me from it. You promised honesty.”

She had promised honesty about the pregnancy. Not about his sister or her weird torture fetishes and her many attempted times of trying to get into her pants. Courtney was struggling with her sexuality. Emily had witnessed her unravel because of it. She had poison in her brain telling her that being gay was wrong. That _they_ were wrong. She’d seen it the last night she’d been in her house. There were many _many_ thoughts clawing Courtney to shreds on the inside. There were people inside of her telling her to do things. And she punished herself and everyone in the vicinity because she didn’t understand.

“She tortured you, didn’t she? Like _really_ tortured you?” The tone in Isaac’s voice nearly shattered Emily’s heart, because she knew he felt like he had failed to protect her.

“It’s…it’s in the past.” Emily replied softly.

Alison sensed Emily’s tension. She reached up and put her hand against the back of her neck, massaging it gently.

“She attacked you in the locker room that day, didn’t she?” he asked. “When you showed up to work out with me you had bruises. She did that to you.”

Courtney had been _so_ fucking weird after that day. Emily had been weird, too. Even Nick seemed off. Isaac hadn’t thought much about it, but now that he knew that his sister had been torturing Emily about her sexuality things were coming to light.

“What did she do to you?”

Emily couldn’t answer his question. She couldn’t tell Isaac everything without telling him his sister was gay. Or she thought she was gay. Maybe she was bi. Maybe she was confused. Maybe she was just controlling and she liked the rush of seeing people squirm. It was really hard to say. Emily wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t.

When Isaac realized that Emily wasn’t going to answer he changed his line of questioning.

“Is she still torturing you?”

“From Texas?” She tried to change the subject, tried to throw him off the trail.

She was doing the very thing to him that he had tried to do for her…she was trying to protect him. Courtney was dangerous.

“Emily…just say the words. Just tell me. Is my sister doing something to you? Because she may be my sister, but if she’s threatening you or the baby I will put an end to it.” He sounded resolute in his decision, like if there was a choice between Courtney or Emily and the baby...he would choose the two of them.

Emily wanted to tell him. She felt like screaming, _“SHE’S TRYING TO KILL US!”_

But she didn’t know that for sure. She didn’t have any proof. And even if she was sure, how could she pull Isaac into it? She thought about Maya. And Caleb. And her dad. Even Wilden.

If Courtney knew him…if they were related and she had something to do with his death it proved that she was willing to kill people. She’d probably paid someone to kill him. By stretch of the imagination it wasn’t hard to believe she’d kill her own brother.

“I haven’t heard from her.” Emily wasn’t sure if it was a lie, because she had no idea who had been working with Wilden and sending her threatening messages.

There was another heavy sigh on Isaac’s end of the phone.

“This is so fucked.” He sounded like he wanted to cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I should have tried to get her help a long time ago. I was just…young and stupid. But I see it. I know she’s got problems, Em. I know that. I just thought…” His voice broke. He was so conflicted. “She’s my sister. I thought I was doing the right thing for everyone. But…but I don’t know if that’s the case anymore. I don’t know what to do.” He groaned. “I love that miserable fucking bitch. But why? What is wrong with me? Why do I care about her when she’s never cared about me?”

“She’s your sister.” The answer was so simple, but so complicated.

“She can’t ever get near the baby. Ever.” There was a dark sincerity in his tone. “She hasn’t tried, has she? She hasn’t tried to come after the baby?”

Alison pulled the car into a parking spot in front of the Early Childhood Education Resource Center. There were several cars already taking up spaces. She didn’t see the black car parked by the side of the building. She was too invested in what was happening with Isaac and Emily. The conversation seemed to be taking a serious turn. She could tell by the look on Emily’s face.

“Emily…” Isaac’s tone was verging on chastising. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing. I was just curious. I didn’t mean to stir anything up.” Emily forced herself to sound normal.

She tried to keep her voice steady so he wouldn’t call her on her lie.

“If anything ever happens I want you to know you can call me. Just…know that, okay?” he asked.

“I know.” Emily smiled. “We just got to the Resource Center. I’ve got to get going or we’re going to be late.”

“Okay.” He seemed uncertain with her response, but he didn’t argue. “Good luck. And let me know if you and Alison need anything.”

Emily smiled. It was sweet that he had included Alison.

“I will. And you keep me posted, too. If you need anything you know how to reach me.”

“Thanks.”

They said their goodbyes. The second she hung up the phone Alison prodded for information. She was bursting at the seams.

“What did he say?”

“Courtney is acting shady as hell. Apparently she’s protesting being at home. She’s allegedly staying with friends. And when they were in New York for Valentine’s Day she didn’t go out with Isaac and Nick after Isaac went back to the city.” Emily was trying to get the dates straight in her head, but her child was sucking a lot of her brain capacity out of her and she could barely do basic math without getting a headache.

“What about the weekend Hanna and I saw red coat?” She still had the footage of Wilden meeting the twins. She hadn’t captured red coat, but she knew what she saw. “Or when I was in New York with Aria and Mike and ran into that Bethany Young girl? Courtney was on a holiday break that week, right?”

“I think we need to draw out a timeline to see if any of it is possible. She’d have to jump on a four hour flight to New York and then drive an hour and a half to get here. And that’s _if_ she can ditch her parents _and_ fool her brother into thinking she’s still in town. It sounds crazy in theory, but we have to look at it.” Emily reached for a pen, tapping it against her lips before reaching for a notebook to write down some notes. “It’s also entirely possible that she’s not involved and she’s just being a bitch to her brother and the state of Texas instead.”

“It sounded like Isaac was asking more questions.” Alison faced Emily in concern. “Where are we on bringing him into the loop?”

Emily looked down at the floorboard. She felt guilty for lying to Isaac again. He deserved to know if his sister was a criminal mastermind. Then again, they had to prove she was a criminal mastermind first.

“Considering he’s still trying to get used to being in the loop with the baby I don’t know if throwing him on another ride is ideal right now. Maybe if we get proof. He does deserve to know. She _is_ his sister.” She frowned. “He’s really struggling. He wants to help her work through her issues. But he knows he can’t.”

Alison felt a surge of compassion for him. She’d had to deal with Jason a few times when he went off the rails when he was drinking and doing drugs heavily, and that couldn’t even compare to what Isaac was going through with Courtney.

“I’m sorry for being bitchy about him when you were on the phone.” Alison leaned back against her seat, turning to face Emily. “He really does seem like a good guy. I just don’t like to share.”

Emily pressed her lips together, smiling. The revelation wasn’t a surprise to her. Alison had always been territorial.

“You’re not sharing me. He’s not going to try to take your place or pull rank or anything. You know you have me, one hundred percent.” Emily put her hand on top of Alison’s.

“I know.” Her solemn blue eyes darted to Emily’s stomach. “It’s not you that I don’t want to share.”

Alison had been attached to the baby since the very beginning. It had surprised Emily that the sharp-tongued vixen had such a soft spot for her daughter. Ever since the night in the treehouse when she’d told Alison the truth there had been an unspoken connection between the three of them.

Emily would never forget the look she’d had on her face when she asked to touch her stomach. The blonde’s eyes had lit up like Emily had never seen before. Alison had been so certain that she could feel the baby moving.

After Emily had gotten to know Alison better she understood why she had such a deep desire to be part of a loving family…to do _better_ than her parents did for her. She had put the baby first every step of the way. And Emily loved her for it.

“I know it’s selfish, but I want her all to ourselves.” Alison admitted.

She couldn’t wait to hold her and snuggle her and listen to the little curious sounds she was going to make. She had a picture in her head of what it was going to be like.

Emily knew that she was so obsessed with the good that she wasn’t thinking about the more difficult aspects of raising a child. Sometimes she had to remind her of the reality of the situation.

“You say that now,” Emily said, caressing Alison’s arm, “but just wait until we’re two weeks in and we’re so sleep deprived we can’t even remember the name for the word ‘spoon’, and she’s screaming every two hours because she’s hungry and neither one of us knows what life is anymore. At that point sharing is caring.”

Alison clenched her teeth and jutted her jaw out. That sounded like a nightmare scenario. She’d heard horror stories about never being able to sleep again after having a baby, but she’d never gotten the full picture. It was intimidating.

“Right. We should _definitely_ pay attention to ‘Mommy Moon of the Earth’ or whatever this crazy doula’s name is.” She motioned towards the building. “Maybe we’ll get some tips on how to survive sleepless nights.”

Emily laughed. It was only after they’d signed up for the class that they’d realized it leaned more towards “new-age” parenting. But there were a lot of traditional subjects being covered, too.

“I’m really happy you’re doing this with me.” Emily laced her fingers into Alison’s.

Alison felt her cheeks flush with heat. Emily had such a unique touch. Her body always automatically responded. She felt a connection that bonded them. It was like she was an extension of her. She could _feel_ her love.

“I can’t believe she’s almost here. This is getting so real.” Alison looked at Emily’s figure and then glanced at the building. She kept her gaze fixed on the structure. “What did Isaac say about me being in the delivery room?”

“He was cool about it.”

Alison slowly took her eyes off of the building and turned to face Emily. There was a hint of trepidation on her face.

“Is he going to come out for the birth?”

Emily’s face tightened in thought. She knew it was a touchy subject for Alison.

“I don’t think he knows yet.”

“He should know _something_ by now, right?” Alison asked cautiously. “I mean…he’s not going to suddenly change his mind and start demanding things, is he?”

“He’s not like that.” Emily assured her. “He actually asked if _we_ needed anything before he hung up. He knows that this is weird for you, too. And he doesn’t want to make it weirder. I think he’s just trying to do the best that he can.”

He was doing more than he needed to, but Emily could tell that he was still all over the place emotionally. And she didn’t blame him. He was dealing with far more than her pregnancy. He was dealing with his home life, too. He was wrestling with how to handle his sister.

“He’s having a hard time with this. I can hear it in his voice. He doesn’t know what his future looks like. And I don’t blame him. He thought he was going to do one thing and then this came along. He wants to go to Ohio State, but he’s worried that it’s too far away. He got into Georgetown, too. It’s closer, but it doesn’t offer him as much. And I don’t know if he wants to make decisions based on the baby.”

Alison’s head bobbed as she nodded in understanding.

“Do you think…” Alison hesitated, pulling back at the last second. She let out an uncertain breath.

“What?” Emily could see the apprehension on her face.

“Nothing. It’s nothing…” She looked away uncomfortably.

“Ali,” Emily said softly, cupping her cheek, forcing Alison to look in her eyes, “you can talk to me about anything. What is it?”

“It’s just…” She glanced at the phone in Emily’s lap.

She was trying really hard to be okay with Isaac and Emily talking to one another about the baby, but it made her feel self-conscious. She wasn’t insecure about anything in life, except for when it came to her place in Emily’s daughter’s life.

“…if Isaac does decide he wants to be involved where does that leave me?” She blinked and then slowly made eye contact with Emily. “I’m afraid she might love him more. Like a blood connection or whatever might make her naturally want him more.”

Emily exhaled quietly, a patient smile on her face. She knew Alison had been worried about what the dynamic might look like if Isaac changed it, but Emily wasn’t concerned. Because she knew exactly what Alison was to her…and her daughter.

The brunette’s fingers gently raked Alison’s cheek. She combed her fingers through her long blonde locks. Her touch said so much. _I love you. You’re beautiful. It’s us. It will always be us._

“Regardless of what kind of role he wants to take…she’s _ours_ , Alison. Family isn’t blood. It’s who we belong with. Isaac and I may be her biological parents, but you have been the one who has been with me every step of the way. She knows _you_. She wants _you_. I can feel it. And she’s just as much yours as she is mine. She’s _our_ daughter.” She took her hand. “That is, if you want to be…”

“I do.” Alison replied, her voice strained in emotion as she fought back her tears.

Deep down she had known it, but hearing it hit her differently. She felt a flood of emotions wash over her. She reached out and tenderly grasped Emily’s cheeks, pulling her in for a kiss. Emily leaned as close to the center console as she could get, her belly pressing against it as their lips met. She could feel the mixture of tenacity and affection in Alison’s motions.

When they pulled away they were smiling at one another. Alison reached up and touched her necklace, looking at the baby’s birthstone. Emily could tell how much her words meant to Alison.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen after we graduate.” Emily’s hand slid down to the side of Alison’s neck, “…with NYU and everything, but I do know that whatever it is…we will make it work. We’re a family, Alison. That’s never going to change.”

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that.”

“I mean, I’ll still have my side pieces and hookers on the downlow…” Emily teased.

“Damn it. We were having a moment. And you ruined it.” Alison lightly palmed her face, tapping a gentle slap against her cheek.

“Always do.” Emily grinned.

“You mean it though, right?”

“About the hookers?” Emily pressed her index finger against Alison’s ribs.

“No!” Alison laughed, playfully slapping her arm. “About us being a family.”

“Hey, I dragged you to this childbirth class. I will drag you to our ‘mommy and me’ groups and our wedding, too.” She watched Alison’s face light up at the mention of their future.

“Or maybe I’ll drag _you_ to our wedding. You don’t know.” Alison held her head up high with a mischievous glint on her face. “Make an honest woman out of you…”

“I was never an honest woman.” Emily scoffed.

“Mmm.” Alison pecked her lips. “My rebel with a cause.” Another kiss. “My Hell’s Angel.”

The car shifted when they moved. Emily’s phone buzzed from her lap. It was the reminder she’d set for the class.

“We should get in there lest we be shamed for being late.” Emily reached for her phone and grabbed their paperwork.

They climbed out of the car and walked towards the building. Alison reached for Emily’s hand and their fingers naturally linked together. As they disappeared into the building a person who had been hiding in the shadows rounded the corner.

They hadn’t come alone.

They weren’t sure what to expect when they walked in. Emily had gone to one other basic Lamaze class, but this one was more involved.

They were greeted by a very peppy young woman wearing a long bohemian skirt and sandals. Her hair was up in a ponytail. She smelled like mint and patchouli oil. She welcomed them to the class and handed them a pamphlet and the class schedule and ushered them to follow the other couples.

Emily glanced at the schedule. It looked like something out of a summer camp, but with all baby-themed activities.

“Uhh…” Alison skimmed through some of the paperwork. “Why exactly is there a seminar on birthing the placenta?”

“Let’s just be thankful there isn’t a cooking class right after it on how to prepare it for dinner.” Emily looked up from the pamphlet.

“People _eat_ their placentas?” Alison questioned. “That’s not mentioned in any baby book I’ve ever read.”

“Everyone does things their own way, I guess.” Emily shrugged.

They walked towards the lecture hall. The schedule was posted on a large board outside the door. There were numerous breaks between each session.

**WELCOME:**

**8:00 - 10:00: Birth & Labor**

**10:30 - 11:30: The First Few Minutes**

**12:00 - 1:00: Benefits of Skin to Skin Contact**

**2:00 - 3:00: Breastfeeding**

**3:30 - 4:30: Swaddling and Crib Safety**

**5:00 - 6:00: Diaper Changes**

**NOTE: MOMMIES AND PARTNERS WELCOME TO BREAK AT ANY TIME**

“Wow, they’re covering everything. I’m surprised there isn’t a course about sending them to college.” Alison scanned the sign.

“That’s the advanced course.” Emily wrapped her arm around Alison’s waist. “It’s going to be a long day.”

“At least we’re spending it together.” Alison shrugged.

“Thanks for giving up a Saturday for me.”

“Are you kidding? Who _doesn’t_ want to spend their Saturday learning about afterbirth and dirty diapers? Fun.” Her tone was oozing with sarcasm, but she was smiling.

They walked in the classroom and saw several other couples. A few of them cast sideways glances at them. Emily and Alison weren’t sure if it’s because they were teenagers or because they were the only gay couple in the room, but they were used to the stares.

The instructor at the front of classroom welcomed them with a smile. She was a cute dark skinned young woman in her twenties. She had a very personable air about her.

“Hello and welcome.” She motioned for them to join them near the front. “I’m Yvonne. I’m the instructor.” She extended her palm to shake both of their hands. She glanced at her clipboard. “You must be Emily Fields and Alison DiLaurentis?”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded, glancing at the other couples. “Sorry we’re a little late.”

“It’s not a problem. I know sometimes when you’re pregnant you run on a different timeline. If you’ll just have a seat we’re ready to begin.” She smiled. “We have a variety of different ways for you to get comfortable. This is a long class, so we want to make sure everyone is as comfortable as possible.”

She motioned to several different seating arrangements behind them, including large bouncy balls that some women were balancing on. There were also thick padded yoga mats and chairs with cushioned seats.

Once Alison and Emily had settled in Yvonne started explaining the agenda, noting that they were welcome to take breaks any time they needed one. She gave a brief overview of what they would be covering and then she dived into the material.

She was extremely inclusive, which Emily really appreciated. She wanted Alison to feel like a big part of it.

“Every birth is different. Every journey is different. But one thing I can promise is that it will be one of the most emotional experiences of your lives. When you hold your baby for the first time there are no words to describe what you will be feeling. It will be a very powerful moment, and instincts of both mommy and baby will kick in…”

Emily was watching Yvonne as she spoke, but Alison was watching Emily. There was a serene expression on the brunette’s face, her lips twitching at the thought of holding her child for the first time.

Alison reached for her hand. Emily looked over at her and squeezed her hand. They exchanged a loving glance.

“Your baby spends nine months getting to know everything about you sense wise. They will recognize your voice, so it’s important to talk to them. And you’ll see that they’ll react.” She smiled. “Of course, before we get to that point we have to go through the hard part. The labor.”

Alison scooted closer to Emily and laid her hand against her back, slowly walking her fingers up Emily’s spine as they listened to the beginnings of what labor was going to be like.

Yvonne didn’t sugarcoat it. She explained exactly what it would feel like to be in labor, including what the pain would feel like.

“You worried?” Alison leaned close to Emily, tracing circles against the back of her neck with her index finger.

“No.” Emily turned to face her. “It’s going to happen. No sense in worrying about something I can’t control.”

“Your body will know what to do.” Yvonne pointed to a large model of a pregnant woman. “But there are a lot of things that can help naturally progress the labor along, as well as things your partner can do to make it as smooth as possible.”

She went on to talk about relaxation techniques and breathing patterns that were best for each stage of labor.

“The heat will feel excessive at first. This is when it might be a good idea for your partner to help with cool compresses and ice chips. Position changes can help as well. We’re going to go ahead and practice some of those positions.” She pointed to pregnant women in various poses on a large projecting screen.

Emily and the other pregnant women mimicked the position, which had them on their hands and knees, leaning up against the large bouncy balls with their hips in the air. Yvonne instructed everyone’s partners to sidle up behind them and put pressure on certain points on their backs.

Alison knelt down behind Emily on her knees and started rubbing her back. She was trying to take it seriously, but Emily turned around with a seductive grin on her face. She winked. It was obvious _other_ things were on her mind when she lifted her brows and playfully bit her lip.

When their eyes met Alison felt her cheeks burning. She felt like flipping Emily over and prying her maternity pants off and practicing other forms of natural pain relief. She’d read a lot about sex during pregnancy. She’d read that the natural high could help with the contractions. She doubted there was an interactive session on _that_ in the class.

As she was thinking about all the different things she could be doing to Emily her hands subconsciously started to drift lower.

“Rolling your hips can help with the discomfort.” Yvonne showed an example to the class.

Emily started rolling her hips. Alison firmly placed her hands against Emily’s hips and helped her move. She watched as Emily’s ass rolled in front of her. She let out a silent shuddering breath.

How the fuck was practicing labor turning her on?

Emily spent the rest of the practice teasing Alison, because she knew it was getting to her. Alison was incredibly hot when she was sexually frustrated. She was working her up on purpose, because she’d seen a relaxation room of worship that wasn’t in use that they could use to their advantage during their next break.

When the session on practice labor was over, Emily quickly scrambled to her feet, grabbing Alison’s hand and pulling her along for their “break”, both of them quietly laughing along the way.

Emily took her to the room and pulled her inside, locking the door behind them. She pinned Alison to the wall, grasping her arms and sliding them up against the flowery wallpaper. She clasped her fingers around Alison’s wrists to hold her in place as she trailed kisses against her jaw line.

“Here? _Really_?” Alison gasped in surprise, her breathing hitching when she felt Emily’s tongue against her earlobe. She looked at the room. It was a little chapel with soft lighting illuminating different deities. It almost looked like an exact replica of a church, except there were babies all over the wallpaper. “In a _chapel_ , Em?”

“These hormones are no joke. I almost ripped your shirt off in front of that entire class.” Emily nuzzled her neck, letting one of Alison’s wrists go so she could unbutton the top of her shirt.

“Yeah.” Alison put her free hand against Emily’s ass cheek. “Me too.” She leaned forward and whispered into Emily’s ear. “You were shoving your ass in my face on purpose.”

“You _liked_ it.” Emily teased her, moving down to kiss the exposed skin on her chest.

She felt Alison shudder.

“Emily Violet Fields, are you trying to seduce me?” Alison’s breathing pattern picked up, her fingers stroking the purple hue in her hair.

“No matter how many times you say it, it doesn’t make it my middle name.” She kissed her way back up her neck and found Alison’s lips again.

“I’ll call you whatever I want.” Alison gripped Emily’s ass, digging her fingernails in to pull her closer. “One of these days I’m going to rock the purple right out of your hair.” She squeezed the taut area of her buttocks.

“Then the sheets would be stained.”

“They’ll be stained with more than one thing.” Alison winked and gave her a seductive look.

“You cool with dirty sheets, princess?” Emily antagonized her.

“Maybe I _like_ being dirty.” She lifted the right side of her lip in a half smile, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Blasphemy.” Emily teased. “What would baby Jesus and Buddha say about this?” She glanced at some of the decorations. “We should be careful, lest we corrupt the Gods in the room.”

“They should be flattered. We’re about to be worshiping them and praising their names...” She gently started to grind her thigh between Emily’s legs, “...over...” She held pressure against Emily’s center, watching as her eyes slowly started to roll back in pleasure, “...and over.” She lowered her voice. “We’re about to be their _favorite_ show.”

She took the incentive to slap her on the ass. It wasn’t too rough, but Emily felt a wild stinging sensation shoot up her spine. She was sensitive enough in her pelvic area that it was enough to make her body seize. She leaned forward and bit down on Alison’s neck, trembling as she tried to keep her composure. She grunted into Alison’s skin.

“You’re killing me here, Ali,” she whispered, her body still tense from the powerful wave of pleasure that had just racked her senses.

She slowly lifted her head, meeting Alison’s eyes. She pressed her lips against the blonde’s. Alison reached up and popped another button on Emily’s shirt, getting closer to her warm supple chest. She slid her other hand inside the front of Emily’s pants, her fingers immediately finding their mark.

Emily mirrored her actions. Their lips parted at the same time, their tongues exploring each other as their sounds of quiet pleasure got lost in their kisses. Alison felt Emily’s hands all over her body. Her fingers were so perfectly practiced in what they were doing.

Emily met Alison’s passion motion for motion, though she found herself losing control because of Alison’s calculated movements. She had become very well-versed in knowing exactly what Emily needed. Her girl was _very_ sensitive these days.

The impromptu fit of passion ended with Alison’s head arched up against the wall and Emily’s forehead against her shoulder, their soft sounds of satisfaction in perfect sync. Their bodies tensed and released at the exact same time. Emily felt Alison’s legs shaking and her back sliding down against the wall. She managed to keep her from collapsing to the floor.

Emily kept her forehead pressed against Alison’s sweaty skin. She peppered kisses against her shoulder as she tried to keep them both upright. Alison panted, her eyes still closed. Colors were erupting in front of her. She’d once told Emily that she was the only person who had ever been able to get her body and soul to react so vigorously...so pleasurably. No one touched her like Emily touched her. No one could make her see an infinite number of galaxies in her mind, fireworks exploding, all of the things that romance movies preached about.

There was sex. And then there was _love_. Every single time they shared an intimate moment Alison thought it couldn’t get any better. Then Emily would top it…somehow…someway.

She felt a fluttering sensation against her lips. She kissed Emily back, opening her eyes to meet the brunette’s lustful gaze. They were both sweating. She touched Emily’s face, reveling in the glow.

Neither one of them spoke for several minutes. They shared sweet innocent kisses as they rode it out.

Alison glanced at the room again, her eyes landing on a cross.

They’d hooked up in a church. A fucking _church_. In the middle of a baby-centric seminar. It was equal parts terrifying and invigorating. She started to laugh.

“We are _so_ going to hell.” Alison pushed her forehead against Emily’s with a loud snicker.

“I was going there anyway.” Emily shrugged, kissing her again.

They spent a few minutes trying to make each other look presentable again before going back to class. Alison’s hair was askew. Emily’s cheeks were still red. Their clothes were wrinkled in places. They had to strategically cover a few notable damp spots.

“Think anyone will notice?” Alison still had a huge smile on her face.

“I would bet good money that half of the mommies in that class are getting their fix somewhere else right now. Bathroom. Car. The Meditation Room.” Emily straightened her pants.

“So basically this is just a brothel filled with horny women?” Alison snorted.

“My kind of church.” Emily lifted her brows. Her expression softened. She lightly ghosted Alison’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Alison pressed back against the kiss.

She laid her palm against Emily’s neck, her fingers lightly tracing the band of her necklace. The hearts with the gems in them had flipped over and were tangled in the chain, so Alison gently straightened the necklace out. She smiled. She took pride in the gift.

She didn’t know that at that very moment the necklace was transmitting a signal out into the parking lot.

Wilden hadn’t been lying when he told Emily that he wasn’t the one to be afraid of. Despite his antics in New York…despite the fact that he had tried to kill them…he wasn’t even half as bad as the person running the show. Emily’s necklace and Alison’s bracelet were homing beacons that were a danger to them.

And they had no idea.

A few minutes after they had disappeared into the chapel a maintenance worker had walked down the hallway.

Only it wasn’t really a maintenance worker.

Costumes were easy to come by. Costumes and masks and hoodies and all different kinds of clothing could easily transform a person into whoever they wanted to be.

The maintenance costume was the same one that had been used at the gym to replace the light fixtures right after Emily started working there. The bulb explosions had hurt the boy that worked there, but Emily didn’t have a scratch on her. She was constantly evading traps, and it was starting to get old.

An old fashioned pistol would easily do the trick. And that had been the plan after the girls had split away from the other new mommies.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out why the two of them had disappeared into an empty chapel. Emily was not a religious person. She was smarter than that. It’s one thing they agreed upon. Christianity and religion as a whole was for suckers.

The gun felt like a hot burning iron underneath the cloth of the scratchy maintenance pants. The intention was to get in and get out quickly, but there was a sense of reservation once the time had come. Walking down the hallway lined with images of babies in all stages of infancy had stirred a bunch of mixed feelings. The discomfort of the children watching an atrocity was enough to cause a pause in the plan.

The babies were a distraction. People couldn’t help but to stop and look at them. A gloved hand reached up and traced the pink frame encasing a picture of a baby girl with a pink bow in her hair. The gloved index finger landed on the pink bow. The glass protecting the picture was bouncing a reflection back at the maintenance worker.

It took a surprising amount of strength to turn away from the child. It was a strange sensation. But the mission had to come first, and that mission was in the serenity chapel.

The hallway was quiet. Too quiet. The silence made the sounds from inside the room easier to hear. Alison and Emily were clearly doing their best to suppress the noises they were making, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be heard. Curiosity had won out in the end. An eager ear gently leaned against the door to listen.

Listening to them added an element of exhilaration to the idea of killing them. They were so caught up in each other they’d never see it coming. The gloved hand stroked the door.

The shirt that had the fake nametag on it slowly started to rise and fall as quieted heated breaths added to the noise volume in the hallway. Blood was pulsing to certain places. The uniform was beginning to get hot.

It would have been some kind of sweet poetic justice to gun them down in the middle of a chapel while they were mid-orgasm. But there were too many witnesses. It would have been too sloppy. Emotion had gotten in the way. But emotions had no place in the war against Emily Fields. It had to be tactical. It had to be smart.

 _Patience_.

The long game.

Murder was too kind. Emily and Alison needed to suffer first.

The two lovebirds didn’t know that they’d narrowly eluded death once again. By the time they had finished inside the chapel the hand that had been clutching the gun was no longer holding the weapon, but was buried inside the unbuttoned maintenance pants preoccupied with something else entirely. The same head that had been pressed against the chapel door was arched back against the headrest of the car parked by the side of the building. The same mind that had been envisioning killing Alison and Emily was instead picturing what they were doing in the chapel. There was a quiet groan in the car as the mental sounds of their pleasure was turned into something demented.

When Alison and Emily walked out into the hallway it was empty. They were still giddy. They couldn’t contain their laughter. Emily grabbed her hand and led the way. Her cheeks were still flushed. Alison’s hair was slightly messy.

When they got back to class no one looked twice at them. They couldn’t wipe the dopey grins off of their faces.

Yvonne welcomed everyone back before launching into the next topic, breastfeeding. Alison’s face turned pink when Yvonne told the partners to help the mommies situate their breasts and get a fake baby to help learn how to position babies for breastfeeding.

“I get to touch them in _front_ of other people now.” Alison uttered quietly with a laugh.

“Shh.” Emily giggled.

They managed to shift their focus to the topic at hand during the rest of the class. They learned about breastfeeding, the proper techniques for swaddling, and how to change a diaper.

Near the end of the class Yvonne put on a video with a recap of everything from labor to after the birth. They’d seen the sample of birth with the props that Yvonne used, but watching a live birth was much different.

“Oh…” Alison grimaced, tilting her head to the side as she watched the birthing video, “That is…graphic.” Her jaw dropped. It was horrifying. “Holy…wow, I…I didn’t know it stretched that much…”

She looked at Emily, who was watching curiously. She didn’t seem shocked or surprised. She looked perfectly calm until Yvonne mentioned something about vaginal tearing. That’s when Alison felt Emily’s hand tighten around hers.

But then something incredible happened. Their fear turned to intrigue when they saw the baby’s little face and heard the encouragement of the doctor and nurses and the woman’s partner. The pure delight in their voices was infectious.

It was the mother’s cries of joy after the baby was finally out that pushed them to their emotional peak.

The newborn was placed on her mother’s chest and the squawking cries quieted down as she listened to her mother’s voice. There was an exhausted, but joyous tone in the mother’s vocal expression of love that soothed the newborn. The baby’s face nuzzled against her mom’s flesh. It was like she knew she was safe. Her little head bobbed and weaved as she explored her mommy from the outside for the first time.

The room was completely silent when the video was over. Emily and Alison looked at one another with tears in their eyes. In a few short weeks they would be experiencing the unadulterated emotional high of pure love like the family in the video.

It was the most life-changing, daunting, yet beautiful thing that they had ever witnessed. The way the mother instinctively knew how to hold her. The way the baby knew exactly who was talking to her. The contact of skin against skin for the first time…not only connecting but _seeing_ each other.

“Em…” Alison turned to face her. She was seeing things in a whole new light.

“I know.” Emily nodded with tears in her eyes, gripping Alison’s hand.

They left the class with an entirely new perspective on Emily’s upcoming birth. Their emotions were riding high.

They passed several cars in the parking lot. They didn’t notice the black sedan by the side of the building. The grey car had been compromised, so it had been ditched for another car. Getting the title switched hadn’t been easy, but after Emily and Alison discovered everything in Buffalo it had to be done.

A pair of angry eyes watched the two of them get into Alison’s car and drive off. The black car didn’t follow.

Nothing was out of the ordinary on the drive back to Emily’s apartment. Alison and Emily didn’t speak much. They were still taking in what they had seen in the class. They’d both been able to feel the instant connection the mother had with her daughter. And they knew it would be even more intense when Emily gave birth. They knew that the amount of love they had for the baby now couldn’t even compare to what they would feel when they held her for the first time.

Immersing themselves in the class had given them a momentary reprieve from all of the darkness looming over them. They were both intently aware that they were still in danger. But for a few short hours none of it seemed to matter. The dark shadows clouding them didn’t seem so scary.

When they got back to the apartment Emily made dinner. They exchanged loving looks as they sat on the sofa and watched Netflix. Then they did the dishes together, playing in the soap bubbles and laughing the entire time. It was nice to feel normal. It was nice to feel grown up.

Alison hadn’t realized how much they had matured over the past several months. She couldn’t wait to continue their journey as a family.

That night before they went to bed Emily told Alison she was going to take a shower to help combat her back pain. Alison made her a hot glass of tea for when she got out. Then she decided to join her.

She’d disrobed and stepped into the shower, surprising the brunette. She’d moved into the stream of water with her, kissing her as their faces were doused like drizzling waterfalls.

She’d moved down to kiss her stomach, pecking it several times as she spoke to the little girl in Emily’s womb, telling her how beautiful she was going to be and how perfect she was and how much they loved her.

Emily could feel her daughter reacting. She could feel her moving. The way she responded still amazed them both.

Alison stood up, her face level with Emily’s again. Emily leaned forward. Their foreheads met as they smiled at one another. There was a silent bliss between them.

Things felt different. Something had shifted. Their world was changing. And they were beyond happy. They were overjoyed. They were blessed.

That night they laid in bed together, totally content. Alison was curled against Emily’s body, pushing to get as close as she possibly could to her girls.

When they had first started dating Emily had no idea that Alison was going to enjoy cuddling so much. She had no idea _she_ would enjoy it so much. With Maya it had been more about the sex. With Isaac she hadn’t been comfortable cuddling at all. But with Alison she couldn’t get enough.

Alison stirred in Emily’s arms, snaking down her body until her face was pressed against Emily’s stomach. She laid her head against her baby bump and closed her eyes with a smile. Emily’s skin felt like a searing inferno against her cheek. She could hear the sounds of slight movement if she concentrated enough. She swore she could even hear the baby’s heart beating. She rolled her head slightly to the side and kissed something that felt firm.

“I think I just kissed her little head.” Alison looked up at Emily, her eyes bright and excited.

“Knowing my child you’re probably kissing her ass.” Emily reached down to poke Alison’s ribs.

Alison squirmed and then laughed. She addressed the baby again.

“Your mother thinks she’s funny.”

“Your mother _is_ funny.” Emily rubbed the side of her swollen belly.

Alison smiled and hummed happily against Emily’s stomach.

“We’ll see you soon, sweet girl,” she whispered quietly. _Really soon._

She closed her eyes again, trying to picture exactly what she would look like…what she would sound like. Would her laughter light up the room? Would her cries break her heart?

Alison concentrated on Emily’s breaths, breathing in when she breathed in and breathing out when she breathed out. It lulled her to sleep. She stayed snuggled against Emily’s stomach, her cheek against the bump, her hand resting over her waist.

Emily mindlessly stroked her hair, daydreaming about what things would look like after the baby was born. Usually the pregnancy insomnia bothered her. Usually not being able to get comfortable annoyed her. But she couldn’t stop smiling, because she couldn’t stop thinking about how it would feel when she held her daughter for the first time.

She could see the finish line. She could see her daughter in her arms. She could close her eyes and _feel_ a tiny warm body in her embrace. She couldn’t imagine anything sullying that moment. Everything would be perfect when she met her child. She refused to see beyond the beauty.

She couldn’t have known that something might go horribly wrong. She couldn’t conceive that she might not survive to see everything she was dreaming of. What would happen to her daughter if she wasn’t around?

The light in her life was in very real danger of being snuffed out. Her perfect dream would not be nearly as perfect as she envisioned.

It was the illusion. The storm. The eye of the hurricane had created a false sense of security. When they least expected it, the storm clouds were going to roll in again and powerful forces were going to destroy everything in its path. And it would be too late for anyone to stop it.

* * *

**A/N:** _“In a CHAPEL!?”_


	34. Passion

**A/N: _This one gets triggering near the end._** _Fair warning. Hold on for the ride._

* * *

**Chapter 34:**

**Passion**

Emily didn’t have to search very hard for her prom attire. After she’d asked Alison to the dance decked out in her motorcycle gear it pretty much cemented the fact that she would be wearing leather and boots to their prom, though she had briefly considered a tuxedo. Alison told her that tuxedos looked sexy as hell on her, but that leather was more her style. And Emily wanted to make her happy.

Alison’s wardrobe took a little more planning. She was having a hard time finding what she wanted. Over the span of several days she went to dozens of different places, but couldn’t find anything.

She finally decided to ask Hanna for help, because she knew that between the two of them they could find something that would knock Emily’s boots off. An hour into their shopping spree she found a gorgeous red mesh dress which left very little to the imagination.

She spun around in the mirror, taking in her appearance. Hanna picked through a stack of dresses as she watched Alison flaunt the dress.

“Damn, you look fierce.” Hanna nodded in approval as she pulled a black dress off of the rack. “I like it much better than the white one. Red is your color.”

“You think Emily will like it?” Alison rubbed her fingers over the thin airy material.

“I think she’ll like taking it off of you.”

She saw Hanna grin deviously in the reflection of the mirror.

Alison laughed. She couldn’t believe how far they had come. Nearly nine months ago they would have been willing to strangle each other in the school parking lot. Now they were dress shopping together.

“Sold.” Alison turned to view the dress from another angle.

It accentuated her best features. Her curves, her chest, and her ass. She brushed her hands against her hips.

A snooty girl from school walked by, scoffing at Alison’s choice. She rolled her eyes as she passed by.

“Is that to cover up the blood from your secret jailhouse murders?” She poked an accusatory finger at Alison.

Hanna spun around, angry and indignant.

“You know what? If she did have him killed she deserves a medal. And uppity bitches like you should be _thanking_ her, because if he was set loose it’s likely you would have ended up on the six o’clock news as a story about a naïve little slut being found dead in a ditch at his hands.” She snapped.

The girl eeked out an unintelligible response and then skirted away with her tail between her legs.

Hanna turned around to see a surprised Alison staring back at her.

“I don’t exactly adhere to Emily’s approach of rising above it.” Hanna shrugged, putting the black dress back on the racks.

“Yeah, me neither.” Alison glanced back in the mirror at her reflection.

“Ex-lax in Ben Coogan’s protein shakes?” Hanna guessed.

Alison grinned at her in the mirror.

“I have learned to use my powers for good.”

She stared at herself. She looked _hot_. She couldn’t wait for prom night. She was really glad that Emily had talked her into it. She’d been iffy about it for many reasons. But Emily was right. They only got one prom.

“So, are you ready to say _yes to the dress_?” Hanna asked.

“This is the one.” Alison nodded.

“It’s about time.” Hanna laughed. “You cut it a little close to the deadline.”

“We still have…” She glanced at her watch, “31 hours until prom. That’s plenty of time.”

“Speaking of time…what time is it?” Hanna asked. “I told Caleb I would swing by _The Brew_ around 5.”

“4:30.”

Emily was with Caleb helping _The Brew_ with some planning for the pre-prom party. Alison had been surprised at her enthusiasm about it. Emily had told her it kept her mind off of everything else.

“Time to run that plastic through and get going.” Hanna waved her towards the changing room.

Alison took one more look in the mirror to make sure she _really_ liked her choice. After she was satisfied she changed out of the dress and they ran through the check-out line.

The bell above the door jingled as they walked out. A dressing room door slowly crept open. Slipping through the racks of tuxedos and ducking through mannequins was the only way to avoid the overly eager salespeople trying to make a commission. The employee side door didn’t jingle when it was opened.

Alison’s and Hanna’s voices were carrying across the parking lot. They were squawking about prom. It was incessantly tiring the way girls like them droned on about insignificant things.

After Alison and Hanna climbed in Alison’s car a pair of even footsteps padded against the pavement towards a black sedan. A shaky hand fumbled a set of keys, sending them to the ground. Kneeling down to pick them up revealed an untied shoelace.

_Sloppy mistake._

The shoelace was tied, double knotted tightly. A thumbnail scraped at the shoe, picking a fleck of red paint away from the sneaker.

Minutes later the black car was tailing the two blondes. Staying at least four cars behind them was standard. The car was easy to spot in traffic, but only because it had been a point of interest for months. The idea of putting a bomb in Alison’s car had come up. It would be easy enough to do. But it would draw way too many questions. Another idea had been to play a game of chicken. That was always fun. But it was more fun when the person behind the wheel wasn’t protected by a ton of steel. It would be a hell of an adrenaline rush to ram into Emily’s bike and watch her and Alison go flying, but Emily hadn’t been riding much this late into her pregnancy.

The black car kept driving as Alison pulled her car into a parking spot at _The Brew._ It came to a stop in front of a vacant strip mall a block away.

Alison turned her car off. She looked over and saw Hanna checking her lipstick in the sun visor’s mirror.

“Thanks for today.” Alison pulled the keys out of the ignition.

“Crazy to think we ended up here, right?” Hanna laughed, pushing the visor back into place. She popped her lips to even out her lipstick.

“Plot twist of the century.” Alison agreed.

They glanced inside the coffee shop. They could see Emily and Caleb talking through the window. He nodded and then walked away.

“How are you two doing with everything?” Hanna questioned.

“We’re dealing.” Alison shrugged. “Everything is happening so fast. It’s surreal. I mean, it’s great that the trial isn’t happening anymore, but now everyone thinks we’re murderers…”

“Any word from the bitch behind the screen?”

“Hanna…” Alison shot her a warning glance. “We’re not going to drag you two back into this.”

“I was just curious.”

 _Curiosity killed the cat_. Alison certainly didn’t want Hanna to be that cat. But she also knew Hanna well enough to know that she wasn’t going to keep her nose out of it. Not unless they pushed her out. One thing that Alison had come to understand was how viciously protective Hanna was of Emily. It was a trait they both shared.

“Emily says you two didn’t find anything in New York.” Hanna reached out to smooth her hair down. “But I think she’s full of shit. I think she’s trying to protect me.” She slowly turned to face Alison. “She cares too much. That’s what it boils down to. I think what happened with Wilden scared her…”

“It wasn’t what happened with Wilden.” Alison quietly admitted. She picked at a piece of lint on her pants. “It was what happened to her dad.”

“What _happened_ to her dad?” Hanna’s face twisted in confusion. “You mean his heart attack? What does that have to do with anything?”

“It wasn’t a coincidence.” Alison looked down at the floorboard. If Emily knew she was telling Hanna the truth she would kill her. “Someone drugged him.” She slowly looked up and made eye contact with Hanna. “The same way someone drugged Maya.” Her lips pursed in a pensive pause. “The same way someone killed Wilden.”

“The news said it was suicide…”

“We know what the news said, but Emily got texts with proof after all three things happened. First it was Maya. Then her dad. Then Wilden. That’s why you and Caleb need to stay out of it. This psycho has _already_ tried to run Caleb over. It’s not that we don’t want your help. It’s just that it’s too dangerous for you to give it. There is a lot of merit to Emily’s concerns. Two people in her life have nearly died. And Wilden…” Alison swallowed a nervous breath, “…he offered to talk. To tell us everything.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Hanna gawked. “What caused his change of heart?”

“He didn’t have one. He was trying to save his own skin. He tried to coerce Emily into throwing the trial. All those girls he assaulted…they would have been so damaged by it. Emily refused. But we used the information to try and lure out his partner. We exposed him. That’s why he’s dead.”

“Shit.” Hanna huffed out in surprise. She shook her head and frowned. “Shit,” she uttered again. “Alison, you two have to go to the cops.”

“We don’t have any hard evidence. Half of the texts disappear after they’re opened. And what we do have just looks like typical high school bullshit.”

“Yeah, but…you have proof that Wilden was after you in New York.”

“That won’t mean anything. No one can prove he was working with anyone. And Wilden was _in_ police custody when he was killed. I don’t see Emily and me faring much better. And I won’t put her and the baby at risk like that.”

“So…what do we do?” Hanna leaned forward inquisitively.

“ _We_ do nothing.” Alison eyed her sternly. “If you act like you know _any_ of this it could come back on us. Or you and Caleb.”

Hanna quietly let the information sink in. She tried to think of a loophole, but couldn’t come up with one. The person watching them always seemed to be one step ahead.

“What about Spencer’s mom?” Hanna questioned.

“She’s a lawyer, not a cop.”

“But she knows about Wilden. Maybe she could uncover who is connected to him. And if you talked to her it would be confidential. There is no way it could get out. She wouldn’t disclose the information to anyone.”

“No, but the person watching will know we’re talking to her.” Alison grimaced.

They were trapped. It was frustrating, because every time they took a step in the right direction they were knocked off of their feet and sent flailing fifteen feet back.

Alison saw Emily moving around in the café through the window. She had spotted them. She wiggled her fingers, waving at them.

Emily reached up and swiped her sweat-soaked brow with her forearm. It was hot inside the coffee place. The heat flashes had been hitting her hard lately. She’d also had a few bouts of nausea, which she hadn’t had to deal with since the first trimester. The growing pains were getting more frequent. But nothing had slowed her down since her Lamaze class. Every time she had a bout of nausea or a few seconds of pain it reminded her of how close she was to meeting her child.

She had buried herself in things to keep herself busy. When she wasn’t working one of her shifts at the gym she popped over to see if Sabrina, Caleb, and Mike needed help with the upcoming prom party.

Emily put a full napkin dispenser down on one of the tables. She was singing along with the music that was rumbling through the speakers. An older couple had stopped at the jukebox on their way in and picked out a bunch of classic songs.

She was singing Stevie Wonder’s _“Isn’t She Lovely”_. It had taken on an entirely new meaning for her since she’d learned that Stevie had written it for his baby daughter.

“You should really join us for karaoke night.” Sabrina walked up behind her.

“And steal Mike’s spotlight?” She tossed a crumpled up napkin at Mike, who was clearing off the booth next to them. “No way.”

“My Spice Girls level of adoration will never be topped.” Mike blew his bangs out of his eyes.

“We appreciate you helping out.” Sabrina handed Emily a stack of flyers. “These are the last of them. You mind hanging more at the gym?”

“Not at all. I’ll head there after I finish up here.”

“You want T-Dawg’s regular?” Mike questioned.

“Who the hell is T-Dawg?” Emily’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Toby. T-Dawg. My bro.”

“Does he know you call him that?” Emily snorted out a laugh. “Because I feel like he’d punch you in the nuts if he knew you called him that.”

“Montgomery, your pastries are burning!” Caleb called out from behind the counter. There was a young guy in biker shorts standing at the counter who let out a chuckle.

“It wasn’t _that_ sick of a burn, dude.” Mike waved him off.

“No. Your _literal_ pastries are on fire.” Caleb motioned back towards the kitchen and then went back to serving his customer.

“Oh, crap!” Mike gasped. “My Danish Cremes!” He rushed towards the kitchen, his arms flailing in an overly-dramatic fashion.

“I can’t wait to tell T-Dawg about that.” Emily chuckled.

“Never a dull moment.” Sabrina pulled a rag out of her apron and wiped down a table. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?”

“Why? You hitting on me?” Emily flashed her a joking smile.

“I don’t think Alison would handle that very well.” Sabrina glanced out the window, her eye catching Hanna and Alison walking towards the front door. “It’s strictly business. You’ve been such a big help with everything here and I really hate to ask you to be on your feet longer than you need to be, but one of the volunteers for the caterers for an event tonight just dropped out and we could really use some help in the kitchen. We’re going to be trying to pull double-time getting ready for the prom party _and_ doing this event. I’ll pay you twice what the going rate is.”

There was an air of tension in her voice. Emily could tell that she was overwhelmed. She was very animated when she was stressed. She used a lot of hand gestures.

“I wouldn’t normally ask, but you’ve been a Godsend this week. You know this place really well. And you work harder than the people who actually _work_ here.” Sabrina rambled. She was clearly freaking out. “I mean, it’s totally cool if you can’t…”

“Sabrina, take a breath.” Emily held her palm up with a laugh. “I can help. I owe you for helping me find my apartment.”

Plus she needed the money. She wasn’t going to turn down an easy paycheck.

“Oh my God, thank you. You’re a real gem.”

“I’m not, but I work at one.” She grinned.

Toby had used the line on her once and she thought it was hysterical. Sabrina was equally as amused.

“Already starting with the mom jokes?” Sabrina asked.

“I’ve got an entire routine. Insomnia breeds creativity.”

“How is the new place working out?” Sabrina questioned.

“It’s amazing. I don’t think I could thank you enough for hooking me up.”

The bell above the door jingled as Alison and Hanna walked in. Alison’s lips were curled up in a mischievous grin. Her eyes were buzzing with excitement. She’d been jazzed up about prom all week.

She sauntered across the floor. She smiled at Emily and touched her arm, flirtatiously tracing her fingers down her bicep.

“Hey, Em.” She pressed a gentle peck on her lips, making a show of kissing her. After she pulled away she faced Sabrina. “Sabrina.” She nodded.

“Hey, Alison.” She replied with a friendly smile.

Alison turned her attention back to Emily. She saw a stack of flyers on the back of the booth that Sabrina was wiping down.

“You must be exhausted.” Alison rubbed her shoulder.

Emily had looked really run down the past few days. Alison could see it in her eyes. She knew part of it was the insomnia, but she was still worried about her.

“I’m good.” Emily put her hand against Alison’s waist. “I’m actually on my way to the gym to deliver these flyers. Then I’m going to try and grab a nap before jumping back into the grind.”

Emily grabbed the flyers with her free hand.

“I thought you were off this weekend.” Alison looked at her in confusion.

“I am.” Emily nodded. “Sort of. They’re having an event here tonight. I’m going to help out.”

“Babe, that’s way too long for you to be on your feet.” Alison reached for the flyers.

She glanced at the artwork. It was Aria’s design. She recognized it from some of the doodles she’d seen on her binder. It was really detailed. It had sparkling stars shooting into the night and two crowns locked together. Aria had done a good job with it.

“We’ve been over this a million times.” Emily took the flyers back, biting back a cheeky grin as she put them down on the back of the booth. “I’ve been perfectly fine. A little bit of walking isn’t going to break me. Or…a little bit of dancing.” She grabbed Alison’s hands and spun her around just as the instrumental introduction for Etta James’ _“At Last”_ came on over the loud speakers.

She slowly twirled Alison around. The blonde was a total sucker for her moves. Emily clasped her hand against Alison’s palm and put her arm around her waist, slow dancing with her.

“I can’t wait for tomorrow.” Emily smiled as Alison laid her head against her shoulder. “You find a dress yet?”

“Yes. And you’re going to _love_ it.” Alison nuzzled against her.

Sometimes when they shared pure joyous moments together they forgot about the lurking dangers in the shadows.

Alison felt a fluttering sensation against her stomach. She smiled.

“Is she dancing, too?” Alison questioned, glancing down at Emily’s bump.

“Probably limbering up for her very first prom.” Emily nodded.

The song came to an end, but they kept dancing. No one in the café seemed to mind. Hanna was perched on the counter talking to a very busy Caleb. Mike was running to and from different tables. Sabrina and several other staffers were trying to keep up with the flow.

“Hey, Em…” Alison whispered quietly.

“Hmm?”

“You’re my favorite person.” She pressed a tiny peck of a kiss underneath her ear lobe. She lifted her head to meet Emily’s gaze.

“I love you, too, Ali.” Emily cupped her cheek and leaned in until their lips met.

Alison moaned happily into the exchange. Emily’s lips were warm and silky and tasted like heaven. No matter how many times they kissed it always felt like the first time…the time when Emily had given her butterflies…the time when it was new and exciting. Emily made her feel like it was the first time every time.

She reached up, her palm landing gently against Emily’s neck. She could feel the heat and a build-up of sweat on her skin. She’d been running kind of hot lately. Alison knew her hot flashes were getting worse.

They heard a loud teasing _“oooh”_ and turned to see Mike walking towards them with a few cleaning supplies. “You’ve got a little something on your face.” He playfully fluttered a clean rag in between them.

“Maybe I _want_ this on my face.” Emily shoved him with a laugh.

“Get a room.” He scurried off with a huge grin.

“How has Aria put up with him for seventeen years?” Alison rolled her eyes.

“I heard that!” Mike exclaimed.

Emily and Alison both doubled over in laughter. When Emily stood up she arched her back to try and loosen the stiffness in her muscles. She felt a strong pulsing sensation that felt like more than just the baby’s typical repositioning. She felt a jab of pain that radiated down to her pelvis. It only lasted for a second, but it was intense enough that she huffed out in surprise. She put her hand against her stomach.

“She’s graduated from dancing to kickboxing, apparently.” Emily squirmed to try and get comfortable. “She’s like a regular Laila Ali fighting for a boxing championship.”

“Laila.” Alison smiled. “ _Laay-la Ahh-lee_ Fields.” She let the name roll off of her tongue. “Is that her name?”

Emily had been very secretive about her name. She had wanted to keep Alison in suspense. She also wanted to see the baby before she settled on the name, but in her heart she knew what her daughter was going to be called.

Emily just smiled mischievously and shut her up with a kiss.

“You didn’t answer the question.” Alison grinned against Emily’s lips.

“I wonder how Muhammad Ali would feel about me stealing his daughter’s name.” Emily’s tone was curiously playful.

“Considering her mother has a hell of a right hook, I don’t think he’d mind.” She touched Emily’s belly.

Alison’s phone buzzed from her back pocket. She begrudgingly pulled away from Emily and grabbed it. She made a face at the screen.

“Ugh. I’ve got to go. Jason and I are being forced against our will to attend my father’s stupid birthday soiree.” She rolled her eyes. “Just when I thought I was out they pulled me back in.” She sighed. “Fuck my life.”

“Can’t. I’m in an exclusively monogamous relationship with fucking my own life, but maybe after we’re done…” Emily kissed her forehead.

“How late is this thing you’re doing tonight supposed to go?” Alison asked.

“Don’t know. But I can call you afterwards if you want to come over.”

“I’ll try to slip out of my dad’s party and come by.”

She was already looking for any excuse she could find to get out of the party. She dreaded spending time with her family. She was just thankful that soon, her family would be Emily and the baby. The only bright spot in the dark was that she was recreating the definition of family. And she knew that family was more than blood relations. Family was the beautiful brunette standing in front of her, smiling at her like she was the whole world.

* * *

The dinner with her parents went about as poorly as Alison expected. Her mother drank too much and got emotional. Her father got into a fight with her brother. And all the guests pretended that everything was normal. She was so sick of the charade.

She didn’t even bother to tell her parents she was leaving. She assumed her absence wouldn’t be noticed.

It was. By her brother.

He was the one who saw her down a glass of wine. He also followed her out when she ran out of the house with her keys. He refused to let her drive, which pissed her off.

He had compromised with her, telling her he’d drive her to _The Brew_ so she could hang out with Emily and go home with her after she was done volunteering.

Alison forgot about all of the drama the second she saw Emily in her catering uniform at _The Brew_. She had on a pressed white blouse covered by red suspenders that were attached to perfectly fitting black pants. Her chest filled the blouse out so much that the top three buttons were undone. The shirt was crisp and pressed and the collar was folded perfectly. Her hair was flowing over her shoulders. She had a glow of sweat on her face.

The necklace Alison had picked out for her for Valentine’s Day stood out, even in the low lighting. Alison looked at Emily’s birthstone and then at the baby’s. It relaxed her. Her eyes lingered on Emily’s chest. It was hard not to stare at her. The voluptuous curves in her body were basically screaming to be touched. And she was dying to touch her.

She barely even noticed the other patrons walking around and mingling. There were a few kids from school and several adults. She heard some buzz about it being a sports related party, but she hadn’t come there for the prettyboy jocks. She’d come for Emily.

Jason strode next to her as they walked through the cafe. Emily noticed them. She put a tray of appetizers down and walked over to them. She could see that Alison was a little off-balance. She glanced at Jason.

“Hey.” Emily waved to him.

“She had a little bit too much to drink…” Jason explained.

“It was _one_ glass.” Alison scoffed in irritation.

“Just wanted to make sure she got here in one piece.” Jason faced Emily, ignoring his sister’s hostility. “She said she was staying with you tonight.”

“Yeah.” Emily nodded. “Thanks, Jason.”

“Sure thing.” He glanced over at the unattended tray of food. “Hey, so…do you have to have a ticket to this thing or is the food free?”

“Help yourself.” Emily nodded.

Alison walked over to an empty booth. Emily followed her. They both sat down without saying anything. Alison lowered her head and rubbed her forehead with her palm, squinting as she did so. Her face hurt. The wine had given her headache.

“How bad was it?” Emily asked.

Emily’s intuition never ceased to amaze Alison. The girl was so in tune with her. It’s part of why Alison loved her so much. She didn’t even have to tell her what was wrong. Emily just _knew_.

“My mother threw a bottle of Chartreuse bad.” Alison frowned, lowering her hands away from her face so she could see Emily. She clasped her fingers together and put them down against the table.

Emily reached out and put her hand on top of Alison’s hands.

“I should be done in about an hour. Then we can get out of here.” She rubbed her fingers. “You want anything? Water? Coffee?”

“Coffee would be amazing.” It would sober her up and curb the hangover.

“Hang tight.” Emily nodded. She slipped out of the booth and walked over to the counter to talk to Caleb.

Emily brought her a warm cup of her regular and then went back to work. Alison sipped on the coffee. She wasn’t in the mood to socialize. She moped around the front counter, catching Emily every so often as the brunette passed by to get another tray. She didn’t see anyone she liked, except Hanna, who was too busy helping Caleb to talk to her.

She spotted Noel in the crowd. His eyes were following Emily everywhere she went. He seemed to be watching her. Alison didn’t like it. His eyes kept drifting down to Emily’s plunging neckline.

 _This motherfucker…_ Alison thought angrily to herself.

She let her anger stew. She felt it bubbling in her stomach all night. It finally came to a head when things were starting to wind down.

She saw Noel glance at Emily from across the room and she snapped. She jumped to her feet and rushed over towards him to give him a piece of her mind. She shoved him so hard that he dropped a cup that he was holding. It hit the floor with a loud clanging noise and his drink splattered everywhere. He bounced back at her by force of habit.

“What the fuck are you looking at, perv?” Alison grabbed his shirt collar and yanked him forward. He had a good six inches on her in height, but she outmatched him in pure unadulterated rage. She hit him in his blocky chest, her palms slapping angrily against his roid-induced muscles. “Are you eyeing my girlfriend?”

Noel didn’t retaliate. He backed away and raised his hands in submission.

“It’s not what you think…” His reaction was calm, calculated.

“What I _think_ is that I’ve been watch you ogle her chest _all_ night!” Alison growled.

“What?” He questioned. There was a spark in his eyes as realization washed over his face. He shook his head, vehemently denying it. “No, that’s not…I…I wasn’t…”

“I haven’t forgotten what you did to her in the locker room.” Alison shoved him again. He slipped on the wet floor, but managed to keep from falling on his ass.

Everything Noel had ever done was running through Alison’s mind. It had been months since Noel had threatened her in the library. It had been months since he’d pushed himself on Emily at the pool. He’d helped Emily after she passed out, but that didn’t mean a damn thing to Alison. Because time was not forgiving. And she wouldn’t be either.

“You can play the redemption arc all you want, but I’ll _never_ forget what you _really_ are, you creep.” Alison hissed.

“What’s going on here?” Caleb walked up behind Alison.

“Nothing.” Noel insisted. “She just went crazy on me.” He faced Alison. “If you would stop acting like a total psycho and just let me…”

“Fuck you, Noel.” Alison shoved her finger in his face.

“Hey…calm down.” A voice softly urged from behind her.

Alison felt Emily’s hands against her arms. She knew they were her hands without even having to look. Even if Emily hadn’t said anything she never would have mistaken her warm touch for anyone else.

Emily knew her emotions were running high, so she gently led her away from Noel. She walked her through the side door. Alison was shaking when she got her outside.

“Are you okay?” Emily questioned.

“I’m fine.” Alison huffed. She was more than fine. She wanted to get back inside for round two.

“What happened?”

“He exists. That bothers me.” Alison was still puffed up and ready for a fight.

“Alison…I am _five weeks_ away from having a baby. As sexy as you look being a little badass…” She took a moment to look at Alison’s stiff stance. Her trembling muscles. Her determined face, “…I can’t be pulling you away from bar fights while a baby dangles from my tit. You _have_ to get it together.” Emily put her hand against Alison’s cheek.

Alison felt a natural calm washing over her. She knew Emily was right. She just hated that there was someone out there who wanted to hurt her. And she hated not knowing who to trust. She wanted to eliminate every single threat to her.

Alison cracked her knuckles, which got a bemused smile out of Emily. Ever since she’d started taking her self-defense classes seriously she exuded a sexy vibe that was irresistible to the brunette. Alison rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, which was even more amusing to Emily. It was like she was getting ready to charge back in and attack. It was a mixture of hot and adorable.

“Sorry.” Alison felt a flush of heat in her cheeks when she realized that Emily was staring at her. “I’m just a little on edge. My parents know how to get under my skin. I thought taking it out on Noel might help.”

“Maybe we can work some of that stress out at my place.” Emily smiled suggestively as she grasped Alison’s hips. She leaned forward and laid her forehead against the blonde’s. “What do you say, hmm?”

Alison smiled back at her. She wasn’t going to argue. She pushed her lips against Emily’s.

“You look really sexy in this uniform.” Alison reached up and slipped her fingers underneath the suspenders.

“Gonna look even better on my bedroom floor.” Emily smirked.

“You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.” Alison walked her fingers up against the suspenders. “How do you even have energy right now?”

“I don’t know.” Emily put her hand firmly against Alison’s waist. “Something about seeing you go hog wild in there really got me going.”

Her feet were killing her. She felt uncomfortable and bloated. She had a headache. The pains in her stomach were getting more persistent. And her back was aching. But she had a crazy amount of energy surging through her. She swept her lips against Alison’s.

“I’m sorry you had a bad night.” She cupped her neck.

“You’re already making it better.” Alison leaned into their kiss.

When they walked back into _The Brew_ Noel was gone. Sabrina was cleaning up the drink he spilled. Alison went over to apologize to her while Emily went to get the key to her bike.

She didn’t ride nearly as often as she used to, but she knew how to balance her weight perfectly, especially for short rides.

Her apartment was only a few blocks away. It was just the burst of endorphins that Alison needed to clear her head. She peered up at the stars above them, watching them dance in the night sky. They were moving so quickly that it looked like a bunch of shooting stars. The motor purring beneath them was a comfort to her. She laid her cheek against Emily’s back and tightened her grip, her hands clasped firmly above her baby bump.

When they got to Emily’s place they raced up the stairs. They giggled and waved as they ran by a middle-aged couple walking towards their front door. The couple smiled and waved back.

When they got inside the apartment Emily grinned and pushed Alison against the wall. Alison had no idea what had sparked Emily’s rush of hormones, but she didn’t question it. She was happy to let her take the lead.

Emily had no idea where her surge of sexuality had come from, but seeing Alison stand up to Noel had triggered something deep in her body that left a yearning desire burning her from the inside out. She knew part of it was the hormones. She’d never felt like she needed sex more in her life. It was the oddest feeling in the world, but she _craved_ it. But in addition to her urges, she felt an immense amount of love for her girl, and she just wanted to hold her and touch her. She wanted to _love_ her.

She buried her face in Alison’s neck and started placing kisses against her shoulder, moving her shirt aside to expose her collar bone.

Alison’s back was firmly against the wall. Emily’s body heat was seeping through her clothes. Emily moved up to capture Alison’s lips again as she grasped her hips tightly. She moved her hands down against her skirt, slipping her fingers underneath it, touching the hot flesh of her thighs. Alison trembled beneath her touch. Emily’s fingers curved inwards and Alison’s thighs automatically fell apart for her. She shuddered.

Emily was slow and methodical, which drove Alison insane. Emily moved one of her hands out from underneath her skirt and moved it up against Alison’s stomach. Her fingertips left little indentations of prickling sensations against Alison’s skin. Alison felt her hips gently bucking on their own accord. Emily smirked into their kiss. Alison could _feel_ her cockiness.

“I’m having flashbacks to the church.” Alison huffed through their kisses.

“You’re about to have more than just the Holy Spirit flowing through you.” She groped her chest.

Emily’s aggression brought out a similar aggression in Alison. She grasped Emily’s suspenders, pulling her closer as she moved to turn them towards the bedroom. She slipped her hands underneath the suspenders, her thumbs purposefully landing directly against the center of Emily’s sensitive swollen breasts. She felt Emily’s body jerk beneath her touch. The brunette shivered into Alison’s mouth. It was Alison’s turn to grin into their kiss. She slowly pulled her suspenders down, sliding them over her pressed white dress shirt. She meticulously started to unbutton her blouse.

“I feel bad for your neighbors.” Alison grinned as she pushed Emily towards the bed.

“No one lives next door.” Emily lifted her brows and bit her lip seductively.

As far as she knew, the place was empty. What she didn’t know was that the place had been rented out two weeks after she’d gotten the place. It just wasn’t used all the time. She didn’t know that they weren’t alone. Disturbing her neighbors was the last thing on her mind.

It certainly wasn’t on her mind as she stripped Alison’s clothes off of her and pulled her so that their bodies were flush. They were in a mad rush to get to the bed. They swirled around. Alison’s back hit the mattress. She felt Emily pulling her legs towards the edge of the bed. Then she saw her head slowly dipping down.

Alison didn’t have a chance to react. Emily was fast and demanding, and Alison obliged. It was only after Alison was coming down from her second high that she realized that Emily was crawling on top of her.

Feeling Emily’s skin against hers sparked a quiet demand in her mind. She had to have Emily. And she had to have her _now_. Her fingers found their mark immediately. She saw it in Emily’s eyes. She felt it in her motions. She heard it in her sighs of pleasure. She reached up with her free hand to touch Emily’s cheek.

Emily hadn’t held back with Alison, but Alison was careful with her. Emily had to push her to go harder. The further into the last trimester she got the more she needed in bed to satisfy her. It was like having a constant itch that she couldn’t scratch.

Getting too aggressive worried Alison, but she gave in, because when it came to the bedroom she liked letting Emily call the shots. So she pushed. Hard. Emily pushed back, giving her everything she needed, too.

They both had a ton of emotions they needed to work through, and they went wild. But after they hit the point of pleasure and they were slowly coming down from it, the tender feelings started to flow. The emotions always made everything so much more palatable.

Emily kissed Alison’s sweaty forehead and the blonde smiled at her. It was a soft shy smile that belonged to Emily, because Emily had her heart.

Alison touched Emily’s side, her fingertips stroking the sides of her swollen bosom. She’d learned to be careful with her more tender areas. Her breasts had been swollen and painful, but they’d also needed attention, so Alison had learned how to balance the delicacy with what Emily needed.

Emily rolled over, pulling Alison with her. She put her arm over the top of Alison’s head, her fingers falling gently against her cheek, caressing her flushed skin.

“I really needed that,” Alison said quietly.

“Me too.” Emily smiled at her, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl.

Alison was used to Emily’s body temperature being exorbitantly higher than hers, but she felt like she was being pulled directly into the center of a furnace in her embrace. Her skin was slick and burning against Alison’s flesh. It was almost like touching the eye of a hot stove.

“Jeeze, Em, you feel like you’re on fire.”

“Alison DiLaurentis, is that sweet pillow talk you’re whispering into my ear? Are you calling me hot?” She kissed the top of her head.

“I’m calling you hotter than the surface of the sun.”

“Kinky.” Emily grinned.

Alison couldn’t help but laugh. She reached up and caressed Emily’s cheek. She peered at her face in the dim glowing light of the room. She traced her thumb underneath her eye. The dips of the skin underneath her eyes looked pale.

“You really worked your ass off tonight.”

“Nah, it’s still there…and growing.” Emily moved the blanket aside to let their bodies get some fresh air. She knew that Alison was burning up.

Alison shifted down, laying her head against Emily’s collar bone.

“You tired?” Alison questioned.

“A little.”

“You had a long night.” She kissed Emily’s bare shoulder. “You should get some sleep.”

“You too.” Emily yawned. “Prom awaits us. It’s important that the most beautiful girl there gets her beauty rest.”

“I agree. Which is why I think _you_ should get that beauty rest.” Alison smiled at her.

Emily hummed happily. Alison felt the vibration in her cheek. She felt it in her soul.

They fought sleep, each waiting for the other to crash first. They drifted off at the same time. There was a certain kind of bliss they’d both been feeling lately. It was a bliss that they’d be longing to feel again less than twenty-four hours later after being blindsided by something that neither one of them could have ever predicted.

* * *

The town was buzzing with activity the next day. People were excited about the dance and everything leading up to it. Everyone had planned on getting together at _The Brew_ before the dance.

Some people were more eager than others to show off their fashionista looks. Mona and Aria had gotten ready together. Mike drove them to the gym because Aria had pulled a Sadie Hawkins and asked the guy…her guy being Ezra. He gladly accepted her request. He’d mentioned that he wanted to ask her to his prom two years ago, but that he’d been too nervous to approach her.

They’d driven to the gym to pick him up. Emily was watching the front desk for him while Toby and Jake were cleaning up after a class. Hanna and Alison were keeping her company.

Alison had her face buried in a magazine when they heard Mona and Aria approaching. Mona was in a flowing black and red dress. It accentuated her dark hair, which fell in waves over the silky red overcoat on her shoulders. Aria had a short black dress with white trim. Her hair was cropped in a bob with a matching headband. Mike was trailing behind them in a tuxedo that was a little bit too big for him, but it suited him. His hair was slicked back away from his face.

“You two look great.” Alison smiled when she saw them approaching the front desk.

“Thanks.” Aria tried to smooth out the sides of her dress. “Is my date ready yet?”

“Toby said he saw him fixing his bow tie in his office.” Emily nodded.

“Nerd.” Mike chuckled under his breath.

“Bow ties are cool.” Aria frowned at her brother, shoving him playfully.

“Hey, don’t mess up the hair.” Mike held his hands up in surrender.

Aria rolled her eyes as she walked towards Ezra’s office.

“Mona, you look beautiful.” Emily took a moment to admire her dress.

“Thank you.” Her face reddened.

Alison looked at her watch.

“I should probably start getting ready.”

“You look stunning just the way you are. You could easily win prom queen showing up like you are now.” Emily smiled.

“Like I’m going to go in commoner clothes?” Alison scoffed.

“I’ve already cast my ballot for you two.” Mike straightened his tie. “You can thank me by naming your firstborn after me. Little MJ, Mike Junior.”

“You know she’s having a girl, right?” Hanna asked.

“So…Mikayla.” He grinned before sprinting away.

“Heh, ‘scuse me. I’m going to go kill him now.” Mona sauntered after him.

“Don’t get blood on your dress!” Hanna called after her.

Hanna, Emily, and Alison laughed as they watched Mike dashing around the gym laughing deviously as Mona tried to keep up.

“What time are we meeting at _The Brew_?” Alison stood up, reaching for her purse.

“Seven.” Hanna moved away from the front desk. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted Caleb.

“You want me to wait on you?” Alison asked, turning to Emily and putting her hand against her knee.

“Nah. I’ll be right behind you. As soon as Toby is done I’m going to head to my apartment. You go ahead. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Emily kissed her head.

Alison smiled, reaching up to caress her cheek. Her skin was still hot to the touch, more-so than normal.

“You feel warm,” Alison’s eyes emitted a gentle concern.

“Internal heater.” Emily pointed to her stomach, though she couldn’t deny that she had been feeling a little overheated lately.

“Right.” Alison nodded.

Something still felt off to her, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. They didn’t have any reason to suspect that it was anything other than normal. They had no reason to suspect that she was warm for a reason.

“Are you sure you’re up for this? You look exhausted.” Alison lightly put her free hand against Emily’s hip.

“Alison, go.” She reached up and rubbed her arm. “Go get hussied up for me.”

Alison nudged against her girlfriend carefully. She peered at her with an intense amount of worry.

“I’m _fine_. I’ll meet you at _The Brew_ after I’ve had time to get home and change. I’ve heard it’s supposed to be wild there.” Emily grinned. “Don’t do anything illegal.” Her face was stern and serious, but gave way to an impish smile. “At least, not until I get there.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Alison winked.

She rushed off to get ready. Hanna watched her go. She peered up from her phone and looked at Emily.

“Caleb is getting ready for the pre-prom party. I’m going to head over to _The Brew_ and help them finish up.” She enthusiastically clapped her hands together. “So, the plan is still for me to come by around 6 to help you get ready. That sound good?”

Hanna had told Emily on the day that she asked Alison to prom that she wanted to help her get ready.

“Oh, we’re still doing that?”

“You _need_ me.” Hanna leaned against her, nudging her. She put her head against Emily’s shoulder.

“I know this may surprise you, but I can get dressed all by myself.” Emily laid her head on top of Hanna’s.

“So can most kindergartners. Doesn’t mean they have ‘the lewk’ down.” Hanna lifted her head with a smile. She played with Emily’s hair. “Besides, you know it’s not really about the getting dressed part. I need to buff up my hair and make-up skills if I want to get into fashion.”

“I’m just giving you a hard time, Han. I’d be honored to be your guinea pig.” She smiled.

“Yay! I’m so excited!” She squealed as she grabbed Emily’s hands. “This is going to be the best night ever!”

Emily’s friends’ energy rejuvenated her. Hanna had a significant bounce in her step as she bounded out of the gym.

She peered around the building, which was mostly empty. She saw Noel sitting on a bench working on his core. She was surprised because everyone else was getting ready for prom.

She kept her eye on him. Something about last night had unnerved her. Alison had been so sure that he had been watching her.

She watched him for nearly fifteen minutes. Every so often she would turn away and glance in the mirror and catch him looking at her.

It was odd that he was still hanging out at the gym instead of getting ready for prom. He was apparently going with Cindy and Mindy as his arm candy. The fact that he wasn’t in any hurry to get ready was almost amusing. If he ditched them it would be priceless.

“What happened to the parade of prom queens running around?” Toby walked up to the counter, towel in hand. He used it to wipe some sweat from his brow.

“Alison and Hanna left to get ready. Aria is back in Ezra’s office _._ And Mona is probably strangling Mike in the girl’s locker room at this point.” Emily laughed.

“Excellent. This is going to be a fantastic prom.” He walked behind the counter. “Spence said the limo is picking us up around 8:30 after the pre-prom gathering.” He reached into his bag and pulled out his phone.

“Oh, that reminds me…” Emily grabbed her wallet. She pulled out a stack of cash and handed it to him. “For the limo.”

He curled his hand around hers, pushing her fingers closed around the money as he shook his head and moved her hand back.

“Your money is no good here, Em. I’ve got you covered.”

“Toby, you don’t have to…”

“I know.” He smiled, his baby blues sparkling at her. “I want to.”

She put her free hand on top of his and gave him a genuine look of appreciation.

“I’m lucky to have you.”

“It’s the other way around.” Toby reached for his gym bag. “I’ve got to shower. Can’t go to prom smelling like a sweaty gym sock.” He looked at the clock. “Why are you still here? Go…get ready!”

“I was waiting on you and Jake.”

“I’ve got it from here. You two young’ins go have some fun.” Jake appeared behind Toby.

“Young’ins?” Toby snorted. “You’ve only got like 4 years on us, _old man_.”

“Get out before I kick you out.” Jake threatened playfully.

Toby walked back towards the locker rooms. Emily gathered up her things and thanked Jake before walking out to the parking lot.

As she was walking by the side of the building she heard someone call her name. It made her spine tense up.

“Yo, Fields, hold up!” When she turned around she saw Noel jogging after her. “You got a minute?”

“I have a lot of minutes. None of which I intend to waste on you.” Emily shrugged.

“Seriously…” He reached out and put his fingers around her wrist.

His touch sparked a wild ferocity in her. She yanked her arm away and spun around to face him. He held his hands up and took two steps back.

“Don’t test me, Noel. I am pregnant and moody and I will kick your ass.” Emily grumbled angrily.

“Please? I just want to talk. It’s important.” There was a desperation behind his pleading eyes that intrigued Emily.

Emily pressed her lips together, deep in thought. She scrutinized the look on his face. He looked sincere.

“You have two minutes.”

Noel looked around, like he thought someone might be watching them.

“Not here.” He motioned for Emily to follow him.

Emily rebuffed at first. She wasn’t stupid enough to fall face first into one of his dumb traps. She followed him back into the gym. They walked in to the meditation area near the unisex steam room.

“You going to lock me in again?” Emily challenged, her brows slanted, angled angrily downward.

“I told you…that wasn’t me. I don’t know _who_ this person is who is calling the shots.” Noel insisted.

Emily glanced at her watch.

“You’ve got a minute and twenty seconds left.”

“Okay, this whole thing is super messed up, but just hear me out. I was trying to gather up the balls to talk to you after Wilden was arrested. Then he died and shit got crazy. And I…I tried to talk to you last night, but Alison lost her mind and was getting ready to yeet me out of my own sports party…”

“That’s the thing about my girl. If she gets her radar set on you you’re screwed.”

“I get that.” Noel nodded. “I really do. And I feel like an asshole, because I should have come forward when I realized that Wilden was dead…” He lowered his voice, like saying the word was somehow magically going to get him struck by lightning, “There…there is something that you need to know. Something I couldn’t tell you before now because I was too afraid of retaliation.”

Big Bad Noel Kahn was nothing more than a Grade-A pussy. It was hilarious to her.

“Thirty seconds…”

“Your necklace…” he reached up to touch it, but Emily swatted his hands away.

She suddenly wondered if he had been looking at her jewelry and not her chest last night. But why was Noel interested in it?

“Give me the benefit of the doubt here.” He reached forward and made eye contact to try and seek permission. Emily nodded slowly, allowing him to trace his fingers against the birthstones. “This…it’s absolutely beautiful. But even things that look perfect have cracks in the foundation.”

He sighed.

“Which means what exactly?” Emily wasn’t following. “Five seconds.”

“It has a tracking device in it.” He admitted just as his time ran down to zero.

“What?” Emily growled.

“Alison’s bracelet does, too. Wilden made me do it. That’s the real reason I broke into your locker that day you were in the steam room. I switched out one of the charms. I don’t know who he got to intercept your necklace after Alison bought it. He probably did it himself, but…”

“He was _following_ us?” That’s how he had known exactly where they were in New York.

“He was.”

Emily stumbled backwards in shock, rubbing the necklace tightly between her fingers.

“Who else knows about this?”

“I don’t know. I wish I did, but I have no clue who he could have been working with.” He shifted nervously on his feet.

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I don’t know what happened…with Wilden…”

“You can’t possibly believe those rumors about us having him killed are true?” Emily rolled her eyes at the absurdity of it.

“Not _you_. But I don’t for one second believe he killed himself. He was far too arrogant and self-involved. He thought he was untouchable. And if someone has _that_ kind of power _and_ they know where you are…” He looked at the necklace. “I just want you and Alison to watch yourselves.” He rubbed his head nervously. “Look, I’m sorry for my part in all this. I’m trying to make it right…”

“You can’t.” Emily was fuming. “Alison almost _died_ in New York because of you.”

“I know. If I could take it back I would.”

“You think that means _anything_ to me? He was going to kill us! All _three_ of us. My baby could have died because of _you_! He tried to throw Alison off of a fucking building!” She raised her voice. He didn’t argue back. “God, you’re unbelievable. This _whole_ time we’ve been in danger because of _you_.” She snarled. “If anything happens to Alison or my daughter I’m coming for you.” She shoved her finger angrily against his chest.

He didn’t respond. He just let her berate him for several minutes. She turned sharply on her feet and stormed out, leaving him standing quietly bewildered. He sighed. He hoped that it wasn’t too late.

He watched her pace out to the parking lot. He thought about following her, but he knew that if she caught him she would rip him a new one.

Emily tried getting in touch with Alison before she left the gym, but she got her voicemail. She left a calm message so she wouldn’t scare her.

“Hey, it’s me. Something just came up. Everything is okay, but I was thinking that maybe tonight you shouldn’t wear your bracelet. I really…I think you should go with something that goes with your dress. For me.” She paused. She thought about telling her the whole story, but it wasn’t something she wanted to leave on her voicemail. “Just give me a call when you get this. Love you.”

She hung up the phone and drove her parent’s car to her apartment. After she turned the car off she leaned forward and put her forehead against the steering wheel. An intense wave of nausea hit her.

The first thing she did when she walked through her door was make a beeline for the bathroom. She thought she was going to puke, but as she stood huddled over the sink, her fingernails digging into the sides of the counter, nothing came up.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were hot and flushed. Her heart was rapidly pounding against her ribcage. The confrontation with Noel had undoubtedly spiked her blood pressure.

She tried to calm herself down by practicing deep breathing. She felt a strange sense of pained pressure in her stomach every time she took a breath.

She stared at the necklace dangling from her neck. Her plan was to get ready and then take her necklace to her mom and dad’s house. She would tell Alison to leave her bracelet at home, too. It would be a perfect opportunity to ditch the jewelry for the night. They could use it to their advantage in setting up a trap later. Now that she knew the truth they could use it against whoever was watching them.

The more she thought about the entire situation the sicker she felt. Someone had been _tracking_ them this whole time.

The physical discomfort continued to get worse. She felt nauseated and dizzy. And she was burning up.

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror again. Her cheeks were swollen and red. She had a thin sheen of sweat on her face. Her eyes darted to the necklace again. She growled under her breath. She took the jewelry off and laid it against the side of the sink.

She stripped out of her pants and T-shirt and sat down on the toilet in her bra and underwear. She buried her face in her hands and groaned, trying to let the nausea pass.

It only worsened. The flashes of heat intensified it. Sweat was dripping down her body. She felt a strange throbbing sensation in her head and a sudden sharp stabbing pain radiating in her back.

Her hand shot to her stomach, stars flashing in her eyes. Something was wrong. She leaned forward struggling to catch her breath as the pain increased.

She felt something warm and wet in her underwear. Out of instinct she put her hand in between her legs. When she pulled it back she saw blood coating her shaky fingers. Her eyes widened.

“No…” she uttered under her breath. She put her palm against her stomach and felt for movement.

Another spark of pain washed over her. She couldn’t feel anything except the bolts of painful lightning shooting through her body.

She pulled herself to her feet and reached for her phone, her hands shaking as she tried to dial her mother’s number. She’d fought with her mom more than anyone else in her life, but she was still her mom. And she fell back on the habits she’d had as a child. She was hurt and she wanted her mother.

She felt another sharp pain jolt her back and it brought her to her knees. The phone slipped from her fingers and hit the ceramic sink at an angle, splitting it open. Part of it went into the toilet.

Emily’s vision started to blur. She groaned out a “help” but she didn’t realize she was whispering.

_No, baby…not now. It’s too early._

Something was happening to her, but it wasn’t labor. It felt like the baby was in distress. It was her worst nightmare. It’s what she feared the most. A flash of herself crying in her shower after being run off the road ran through her mind, like a slow motion horror film. The images were eerily similar to what she was experiencing now. She remembered thinking that she could have ended up dying in the middle of the road...losing her child.

Was that what was happening now?

_Don’t panic. Panicking will only make it worse._

Her baby would make it. She would give her last breath to see to that. Her daughter was strong. Five weeks shy of her due date was early, but medicine was advanced. Her daughter would make it. She just had to survive long enough to get help.

The pain was insurmountable. It felt like someone had taken a hot blade and was sinking it into her back and it was slowly cutting through to her stomach. Her body felt like it was burning from the inside. She could feel sweat dripping down her face, her neck…in between every crevice of her body.

She collapsed, falling to the floor, her knees crashing against the hard tile. The pain in her knees was overshadowed by the anguished feeling of her insides being torn to pieces.

She fell forward, her palms slapping against the tile. Her back arched and then suddenly dropped. It was getting harder for her to breathe. She felt a stabbing pain in her pelvis. She let out a pained gasp. She cried out as she lost all of her strength and fell to the floor. She rolled to her side and groaned. The cool pressure of the tile against her cheek was staggering.

Her entire body was trembling. She could feel every muscle pulsing. She could feel every harsh beat of her heart. There was a rushing sound in her ears, like she used to hear when she was swimming underwater. She knew it was her pulse. She could feel it beating in her temples.

“Help.” She squeaked out again, her cries soft and quiet. She was calling for someone she knew would never come.

She stared at the base of the cabinet, concentrating on the swirls in the dark chestnut wood. She was trying to focus. Because she knew she was passing out. And she couldn’t pass out. She couldn’t lose her child. She had to get help.

 _Hold on._ She begged her daughter in thought.

She could feel the blood running down her legs. She reached between them, as if putting her hand against herself would stop it. She hiccuped out a cry which slowly transitioned into a pained moan.

She tried to pull herself to her feet, gripping the sink for leverage. Her bloody fingers slipped against it, leaving red marks on it.

Her face was burning. She saw her reflection staring back at her. Then it started to fade. Her vision was hazy. She was fainting. She knew it was happening. She knew she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She felt herself slipping away. She thought she saw a flash of blonde hair in the mirror’s reflection before she fell to the floor again.

 _Ali…_ She thought before her vision trickled out of view.

Alison had gotten her message. Alison had come to check on her. Because that’s what her girlfriend did.

Emily felt like she was floating in a black abyss, an ether or realm that only existed between worlds. She was certain she had to be dying.

But her daughter…her baby. She couldn’t let her die.

 _“Help me…”_ Her voice sounded like an echoless chamber. She wasn’t sure if she was speaking out loud or in her mind. _“Please…help me…save her. Please. Please don’t let my daughter die.”_

There was a tingling sensation against her cheek. She was floating between reality and her subconscious.

Her eyes fluttered open briefly and she saw the white walls of her bathroom. But then everything was black again.

 _“I can’t lose her.”_ She was weeping, _screaming_ , but no one could hear her.

At least she didn’t _think_ anyone could hear her. But then she felt the slightest touch.

 _“Shh…”_ Fingers swept through her damp sweat-soaked hair.

She wasn’t alone.

_“Ali?”_

But she didn’t recognize Alison’s touch. She felt like there was something in between her thighs. She heard a faint ringing sound. Someone was talking to her, but she couldn’t hear the voice. The sound was distorted, like she was underwater. There was a curious inflection in the tone,

_“Oh, sweetheart, you’re bleeding.”_

The ringing in her ears stopped. It was replaced by a chilling silence. She was in the middle of nowhere.

The abyss was quiet. She wanted to scream. She felt like someone was with her, but in her heart she knew she was alone in her bathroom. She was simply imagining Alison there because she needed her. She _needed_ her to be there.

Through the depth of silence there was a distant voice. It was whispering quietly to Emily. Her subconscious, no doubt. She held on to the idea that Alison was there. She held on to the idea that she wasn’t alone.

But then she heard a familiar voice that made her skin crawl.

 _“We’re broken, Emily. Our bodies. Our minds.”_ She thought she felt something warm against her lips. There was a lingering taste of vanilla. But it couldn’t be real, could it? If she was unconscious how could she taste anything? _“We’re broken. Rotting. Diseased. And this is what happens. This is what happens to people like us.”_

Her eyes fluttered open again, but she couldn’t see anything. She couldn’t feel anything except for the pain.

 _“_ Courtney?” Her eyes darted around, but the ceiling above her was spinning. She couldn’t see anything.

Her head dropped down and she groaned as the imaginary knife in her back twirled around, ripping her insides to shreds. She tried to scream, but nothing came out.

Her face was numb. She tried to open her mouth, but it felt frozen. Her tongue was dry and sticky and it felt swollen, like a bee had stung her. For a few fleeting seconds she felt the wisp of something soft and delicate against her forehead. Tender. Silky.

_“Baby, you’re burning up.”_

“A-Ali.” She cried out for her with every last bit of strength that she had left. Was she speaking out loud? Was she conscious?

She couldn’t hear herself, but she heard other noises. She wasn’t sure if they were real. The sounds of running water. A cabinet door being opened. Shuffling against the tile.

The chill from the tile against her bare back was setting in. She could feel herself shivering. She wasn’t sure if it was from the pain or the cold. There was a strange tugging sensation, like her body was being ripped away from her soul. She felt like she was outside of her body, desperately grasping herself and trying to hold on.

Something warm broke through the cold sweat on her cheek. Something soft and damp, like a washcloth. She felt it move to the other side of her face. She heard a clanking noise. Something was draped across her forehead. Something hot. Or she was having another hot flash. Her body felt all wrong. Everything felt wrong.

She willed herself to move. She willed herself to get out of her horrid hallucination. It had to be a hallucination. She tried to push her hand to move, but she didn’t feel anything, not even a twitch. She was paralyzed. She was stuck.

There was a crushing pain in her pelvis. She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out.

 _“Oh, God, it hurts…”_ She wanted it to end, but she didn’t want to lose her baby.

 _“Shhh, easy.”_ There was a gentle pressure against her cheek. _“Mmm…my sweet Emily. My sweet earnest Emily. I’ll take care of you. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll make sure everything is okay.”_

She felt something shift in the lower half of her body. She wanted to scream.

 _“What…what are you doing? Don’t…please don’t hurt her…”_ Emily begged.

Her body was numb except for the pain. But she felt a gentle pressure on her inner thigh. The warm liquid seeping through her underwear and down her legs was turning tepid on her skin. She felt like her entire body was covered in fire ants, crawling, biting, destroying her.

The pressure on her thigh was gone, but something warm brushed over where the blood was pooling out of her. There was something gentle, but powerful, in the motions. She felt pressure, but it felt like it was coming from her stomach. It hurt so fucking much.

 _“It must hurt. It must hurt so bad…to be this close…”_ A heavy sigh. More movement. _“The pain must be unbearable…”_ The voice quieted to a strange whisper. Something brushed her cheek. Several uneven heated bursts of air moved against her face. She thought she felt something against her chest, directly above her heart. _“A mother without a child. A soul without its heart...a little heart that leaves broken pieces behind. It doesn’t seem right.”_ There was a strange pause. _“No mother should suffer the depth of pain of outliving her baby. It shouldn’t happen. But it does.”_

She felt something touching her stomach. She felt it through the numbing spasms and sharp pangs. The touch stirred something deep in Emily’s subconscious. Even in her unconscious state her fight-or-flight instinct kicked on. And she fought. She jerked roughly.

_“You stay away from my daughter. Stay away from us!”_

There was a forceful amount of pressure on her stomach, like someone was pushing against it. Had she rolled over? She felt like she was suffocating. Something was pressing against her face. Something was obstructing her breath. She’d flipped over and now she was going to die because she couldn’t breathe.

She was fighting, struggling to move. She was certain she was flailing around. She’d bashed her head against the ground. She was unsteady. She couldn’t breathe. She’d lost control of her body.

 _“You have to stay calm.”_ The voice told her. _“Don’t struggle.”_ She felt something steady her. Something happened and she was able to breathe again. Something touched her cheek. Or someone. _“Shh, sweetie…I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe. You’re safe now.”_

 _“This isn’t real.”_ She told herself. It was just like the nightmare she’d had in the hospital on Halloween.

It was her subconscious playing tricks on her, making her think Courtney was there to hurt her again. The miscarriage had been a nightmare. This had to be a nightmare, too. She’d fallen down. She’d hit her head. It was the only explanation.

Her body was rocked by a violent contraction. A scream filled the air, ripped from her lungs.

 _“Hey,”_ The voice cooed, _“you’re okay.”_

_“You’re not real. You’re not real. This isn’t happening. I have to wake up. I have to wake up now.”_

Her body felt like it was moving, floating. Was she dying?

 _“I’m dying.”_ She was sure of it.

_“Breathe. Just breathe.”_

_“Help me. God, help me…”_

_“I’m here, Emily. I’ll stay with you.”_

Emily’s stomach lurched. A hot liquid burned the back of her throat. She could feel it bubbling in her mouth.

_“I’m going to die. I’m going to choke on my own vomit and die.”_

The pain in her abdomen intensified. She couldn’t hold on any longer. Her field of vision was nothing more than stars bursting in her eye line. She couldn’t see the vast emptiness anymore. She couldn’t fight against the pain anymore. Her eyes fluttered open briefly before they rolled back into her head. She thought she saw a blur of blonde hair before she passed out.

She heard a voice as clear as day,

_“Stay with me, honey. Just stay with me…”_

* * *

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days. It’s difficult to assuage time in an abyss. Time was a construct when your life changed so drastically. It all happens “in an instant”. In an instant, Emily was on the floor, fighting for her life. In an instant, she was fighting for her child’s survival. In an instant, the world around her shifted and changed.

In an instant.

Her consciousness wavered. She would wake up briefly, usually seconds at a time. She couldn’t see anything. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed. All that she knew was that her body was a raging heated inferno. She was also painfully aware that she was soaked in a pool of cool sticky liquid.

In one moment of her lucidity she managed to pull herself into a sitting position, her back sliding against the cool porcelain bathtub. The cold material felt good against her hot body.

She saw things that weren’t real. She heard things that weren’t there.

At least…until she heard a familiar voice.

“Emily?”

Emily had given Hanna a key to her place so when she got there to help her get ready she could let herself in.

It had to be real.

“Hanna…” she replied weakly. Her voice was so soft it didn’t carry. It took all of her strength. She closed her eyes. _I can’t fall asleep. I have to stay awake…_

“Emily?” Hanna shouted again. “Are you almost ready? If we’re late Ezra is going to sit us down and make us suffer through his horrible emo slam poetry on the open mic stage. We’ll be bored to death. It will literally kill us and we won’t get to experience the night of a lifetime…”

She was not prepared for the sight in the bathroom when she pushed the door open. The first thing she saw was the streaks of blood on the bathroom sink. On the floor to the right there was a pile of vomit. She snapped her head to the left and saw Emily propped up against the bathtub, her head lolling on her neck. She was covered in sweat and barely cognizant. But the scariest part was the blood all over the floor. She could smell the pungent coppery odor.

“Oh, God.” Hanna rushed forward and dropped to her knees, completely disregarding her dress. One of her knees slipped in a puddle of blood. She didn’t even notice.

One of her hands landed against Emily’s belly. The other was on her neck, her fingers desperately searching for a pulse. She didn’t feel anything at first. The brunette’s face was devoid of all of its color.

“Emily!” Hanna shrieked, grabbing her cheeks gruffly with her palms, tears in her eyes. “Emily, wake up!”

There was a spark of life in her quivering lip. She groaned quietly, forcing her eyes open. The pain was unbearable. She didn’t want to exist. But she had to live. She had to fight for her baby.

“Hanna.” Her face was contorted in pain.

“Oh, thank God.” Hanna let out heavy sigh of relief, frantically grasping for her phone to call an ambulance.

“I…I broke my phone. I tried to call…” She motioned towards a shattered piece of her phone. “H-help. The baby…” She touched her stomach. “This is wrong.” She couldn’t feel any movement. All she could feel was the invisible knife. “It’s too soon.”

“Just hold on, okay? I’m going to get you some help.” She smashed her fingers against her phone.

“Can you call my mom?” Emily asked through her pained tears. “I need my mom. Please.”

Hanna nodded, quietly trying to shush her. She held Emily’s hand as she spoke to the emergency operator.

Emily felt herself fading again. Hanna saw it, too.

“No…Em…you stay awake. Stay with me…” She pleaded.

_“Stay with me, honey. Just stay with me…”_

Hanna.

Alison.

Courtney.

She was delusional. What the hell was happening?

The invisible knife split her open. The shock of it seized her lungs. Something inside of her body felt like it had burst. Her nerve endings burned. Her face started to go numb. Her vision blurred.

“Hanna…” She squeezed her best friend’s hand. “Call Alison.”

Her body slowly slipped down against the bathtub. Hanna tried to keep her upright. She begged the emergency operator to hurry.

She hung up on the 911 operator as soon as they verified Emily’s address and apartment number. She called Emily’s mom, blubbering. She didn’t know what to do. Emily wasn’t responding anymore.

Fortunately, it didn’t take the ambulance or Emily’s mother long to get there. For the first time in her life, Pam Fields ran every traffic light and every stop sign she encountered. She broke every driving law in the book to get to her child.

She got there at the same time as the ambulance. She beat them up the stairs. She found Hanna crying in the bathroom and trying to rouse Emily. She calmed the blonde and immediately crawled next to her daughter, pulling her into her arms, stroking her face as her limp head hung on her shoulders.

“Oh, baby…” she uttered over and over again, her fingers catching in her hair. “I’m here, honey.” She pressed a forceful kiss against her head.

Chaos erupted after that. Heavy footsteps padded against the apartment floor. They were whisked out of the bathroom as the paramedics quickly tended to Emily. They had her on a stretcher moments later.

Hanna was in Pam’s arms, shivering. Pam reached up and brushed her thumb underneath Hanna’s eye to wipe away her tears.

“She’s going to be okay, right?” Hanna asked.

“She’s her father’s daughter. She’s a fighter.” Pam threaded her fingers through Hanna’s perfectly coiled hair. She hadn’t even processed that Hanna was in her prom dress.

The paramedics carefully hauled Emily out of the bathroom on the stretcher. Hanna and Pam broke away from each other to give them room to get through.

“Mom...” Emily uttered in her unconsciousness.

“Right here, Emmy. I’m here.”

Pam latched on to her hand, walking along with the EMTs as they carried her out of the apartment.

Hanna followed. She didn’t register all the people watching from their open doors, kids staring at the flashing lights in the parking lot. All she could do was stare in shock.

Pam took a moment to make sure Hanna was okay before she climbed into the rig with her daughter. Hanna stuttered out, “I’m fine” even though she wasn’t. She didn’t hear Pam tell her to call someone to be with her so she wouldn’t be alone. She didn’t hear her suggestion that she take a few moments to gather her emotions. She didn’t hear a word of the older woman’s advice.

It was only after the ambulance had driven away that Hanna remembered she needed to call Alison. The shock had set in deep. She had four missed texts from Caleb and a missed call and a missed text from Mona.

In the flurry of panic she had completely forgotten about prom. She had completely forgotten about their plan to meet. She’d forgotten everything. One text from Mona jerked her back into an odd reality where people were happy and carefree and not covered in blood.

**_Are you and Emily on your way? The girls and I are taking a pit stop to get some pictures near the town square. The boys are hanging at The Brew._ **

Hanna didn’t reply. She searched through her phone contacts until she found Alison’s number. She stared at the blood on her hands. She’d washed them three times and she could still see the stains. She could still smell the blood. She could see the life fading from Emily’s eyes.

She shook herself out of her trance and hit the speed dial.

It rang. And rang. And rang.

Each unanswered ring felt like a dagger stabbing her in the chest. She felt a rising flutter of panic.

 _“Call Alison.”_ It had been Emily’s last words before losing consciousness.

It went to voicemail, so Hanna tried again.

Alison didn’t pick up.


	35. A Night to Remember

* * *

**Chapter 35:**

**A Night to Remember**

The music in _The Brew_ was so loud that Alison couldn’t hear her phone ringing from inside her purse. It had gotten buried so deep in her belongings that the volume level had accidentally been turned down.

She had been so caught up in getting dressed up and putting on her make-up that she hadn’t checked her phone. She’d been so eager to get to _The Brew_ that she’d bypassed her parents entirely. They didn’t really care about her big night anyway. But Jason made her pose for a picture as she was getting into her car.

After she’d appeased her brother she’d sped to the café. She hadn’t seen the voicemail from Emily. She also hadn’t gotten the memo about the girls taking pictures a few blocks away.

She heard the faint sound of her phone’s ringer as she walked through the café.

“Prom Queen in the house!” Mike exclaimed, holding up a red solo cup and cheering loudly over the music.

The crowd that had gathered there cheered along with him, even though they had no idea what they were cheering for. They were all in formal wear.

Mike tipped his cup back and then walked over to Alison.

“You clean up nice, DiLaurentis.” He smiled.

“Where is everyone?” Alison looked around for Emily and the girls. She didn’t see them in the crowd.

“You didn’t get their messages about meeting at the square?” Mike asked.

Alison shook her head. She reached into her purse for her phone. When she pulled it out she saw a message from Hanna.

**_Alison, pick up your fucking phone! ! !_ **

“Wow. They’re serious about this photography.” Alison muttered as she scrolled through her missed calls list.

She was getting ready to text Hanna back when she saw her number pop up on the screen.

“Hey.” Alison answered, shoving a finger in her ear so she could drown out the sounds of the party. “Sorry. My phone has been…”

“Where are you?” Hanna cut her off. She sounded flustered.

“ _The Brew_.” Alison replied warily. Something was wrong. “Mike just told me you guys are at the square…”

“I’m not at the square.” She was breathing fast and heavy.

“Is something wrong?” Alison’s heart sped up in her chest. It hit her that Emily wasn’t at _The Brew_. Hanna was supposed to be with her helping her get ready. The fact that she was panicking made Alison panic. “Hanna, what’s going on? Is Emily okay?”

Her hands were shaking. Mike noticed the drastic change in her attitude. He cocked his head curiously as he listened to Alison’s end of the conversation.

“I’m sorry. I told myself I wasn’t going to freak out when I talked to you. I didn’t want to scare you.”

“Please tell me she’s okay. Please…” Alison felt a lump in her throat that nearly cut off her oxygen supply.

Every single brush with death that she and Emily had ever had flashed through her mind. Had someone done something to her? Had someone hurt her?

Hanna took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

“She’s at the hospital. Something is happening with the baby.”

All the blood rushed out of Alison’s face. A chill rushed over her. Her body was cold and numb. Her brain shut off, stuttering and struggling to comprehend what Hanna was telling her. For a moment she couldn’t remember how to breathe…or speak. Her veins felt like ice water.

“What?” Alison put her fingers against her lips and furrowed her brow. It didn’t make any sense. “No, that can’t be right. She…she’s not due for another five weeks. It’s too early.”

Mike’s eyes brightened in alarm.

“I know.” Hanna choked back tears. “Listen, I want to be straight with you, but you have to promise me you’re going to stay calm.”

Alison let out a cynical laugh. Sure. _Stay calm_. Her fucking girlfriend was in the hospital on what was supposed to be the most memorable night of their high school lives, but Hanna wanted her to stay calm. She felt like reaching through the phone and strangling her, but she managed to stay composed in her response.

“What happened?” Alison asked.

“I don’t know yet. When I got to her apartment she was on the bathroom floor. She was barely conscious. She was bleeding…”

“ _Bleeding_?” Alison cried out.

“There’s something going on with the baby. That’s all I know.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s in good hands. The paramedics were taking really good care of her…”

“The baby. Is _the baby_ okay?” Alison clarified.

She knew Emily was okay. She knew her girlfriend was a fighter. But the baby was so small. So helpless.

“Ali, I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand.” Alison felt something trickling down her cheeks. She didn’t realize she was crying.

Emily had been fine. She hadn’t changed any of her activity levels. The only thing that she’d done that might have overexerted her was their spontaneous love-making. Alison tried to think back. Had she gotten too rough? Had she caused this?

She tried to listen to the words that Hanna was saying, but her ears were buzzing. She saw Mike mouthing something to her and she blurted out the words “Emily” and “hospital”.

She almost dropped her phone in shock, but Mike caught it. She watched as he put the phone up to his ear and took over the conversation. His normal boorish and childish nature gave way to a more mature expression. He calmly assessed the situation as he spoke to Hanna.

“Which hospital?” he asked. There was a pause. “Sure. Yeah. I’ll tell him to give you a call. We’ll take care of it.”

Alison didn’t pick up everything he was saying, but she heard him say, _“…we’ll get her there.”_

For the first time ever, Mike Montgomery looked and sounded like an adult. It was unnerving. Because that meant the situation was serious.

After he hung up he motioned for Caleb to come over. He explained what was going on. He turned to say something to Alison, but she didn’t hear it. He moved towards the door. Alison stood completely motionless in the center of the room. The entire building felt like it was spinning around.

“DiLaurentis, you coming or what?” Mike waved for her to follow him.

Caleb put his hand against Alison’s arm.

“Alison?” He watched as she slowly looked up at him. She didn’t say anything. “Hey, you have to go.”

“This doesn’t make sense.” Alison uttered to herself. She reached up and angrily wiped at her face. “This isn’t…” She shook her head vigorously. “Someone did this to her. It has to be…”

Several of the partygoers were starting to take notice of her erratic behavior. People were starting to stare.

Caleb and Mike did their best to shield her face so no one could take pictures or videos. Alison didn’t understand what they were doing. She stared at them.

Her feet felt numb. Her knees were turning to jello. Suddenly, she was sinking towards the floor. Caleb caught her.

“Easy.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and moved her towards the front door.

Alison looked at Hanna’s boyfriend, perplexed. Why was he looking at her like he pitied her? It was prom night. They were supposed to be having fun. Why did he look like someone was dying?

She felt like her brain was malfunctioning. She blinked slowly and then stared at Caleb’s outfit. He was dressed up. He was in a rented tuxedo. Alison knew it was rented because of how worn it was. She also knew that Caleb had balked at the idea of buying a suit and tie when he knew he was only going to be wearing it once.

He looked really handsome. Where was his girlfriend? Why wasn’t Hanna with him?

“You’re in a tux.” Alison blurted out.

“I think she’s in shock. Grab the door for me.” Caleb had Mike open the door for them. He was hoping the fresh air would help her.

“Where’s Hanna?” Alison looked around in confusion. “She should be here with Emily. Where are they?”

Caleb gently lowered her on to a bench outside the building. He took a moment to assess her. Her face was pale and ghostlike. She was staring out at the parking lot.

She felt Caleb’s large calloused palm against the side of her neck. He could feel her heart fluttering wildly.

“Jesus, it feels like she’s about to have a heart attack.” He uttered, glancing at Mike before turning back to her. “Alison, I need you to look at me.” His soft brown eyes were oddly reassuring. No wonder Hanna loved him. Alison felt compelled to follow his directions, but she didn’t know why. “You need to breathe. Just take a few deep breaths for me. Can you do that?”

Why was he talking to her like she was a child? She resented it. But at the same time, she felt like she needed it. She felt her chest slowly rising and falling.

“You know where you are, right?” Caleb asked.

Alison nodded.

“ _The Brew_.”

“Good.” Caleb tried to keep her focused. “That’s good. And you know what’s going on?”

That question seemed harder to answer.

“Prom?” She phrased it as a question.

“Not that.” He shook his head. “You know what’s going on with Emily. With…” He hesitated, “…with the baby?”

“She…” Alison bit her lip. Hanna’s call was clawing its way back into her mind. Alison tried to fight reality, but her brain wouldn’t let her. “She’s in the hospital.”

“She is. But her mom and Hanna are with her. They’re taking care of her. Repeat that for me.”

“They’re taking care of her.” Alison repeated.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “Concentrate on the real. The _here_.” He tried to guide her. “One minute at a time, okay?”

“One minute at a time.” Alison agreed.

“She’s strong, but she needs you. You know that, which is why you’re having a panic attack. But you’re not alone in this. We’re here to help you two, okay?”

“Okay.” Alison replied softly. “I um…” She seemed to be more aware of what was happening. “I should be with her.”

“We’ll get you there,” he said. “Just keep breathing for me.” Caleb slowly lowered his hand and stood up.

“Thank you, Caleb,” she said quietly.

“How’d you do that?” Mike questioned.

“Tricks of the trade. Growing up in foster care you have to learn to deal or it’ll eat you alive.” He reached for his phone. “Hanna says they’re at Rosewood General?”

“Yeah.” Mike glanced at Alison.

“I’ll be right behind you guys. I just need to let Sabrina know what’s going on.”

“Got it.” Mike gently reached for her arm. “We should go, Ali.”

She peered up at him, suddenly aware of exactly what was happening. She reached for her purse and stood up. She looked at Caleb and thanked him again. She’d never spiraled out like that before. She had never experienced anything like it.

“Come on.” She moved towards her car.

“Like hell I’m letting you drive.” Mike swiped the keys from her hand and raced towards her car.

“You better give those back _right now_ , Montgomery. I’m liable to die if I let you take the wheel.”

“Bright side? We’re going to the hospital anyway.” Mike opened the car door, a nervous smile on his face. He motioned for Alison to get in the car.

She didn’t remember climbing in the passenger’s seat, but Mike must have convinced her somehow.

She stared at her phone for several minutes. She wasn’t even aware that the car was moving. She heard Mike asking her if she was okay, but she didn’t answer. She tried to focus on her breathing. She concentrated on what Caleb had told her, letting his words replay in her head.

_Concentrate on the real. The here. One minute at a time._

Her shaky finger pressed the voicemail app on her phone. She put her phone against her ear and played Emily’s voicemail. She didn’t sound distressed. She just told Alison to call her.

She saw floods of texts coming in from her friends. Caleb had messaged the girls to let them know what was going on.

She swiped the messages away. She didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with answering anyone. But there was one person she felt obligated to call.

She’d never used his number before. Emily had given it to her in case of emergency. And this certainly constituted an emergency.

She wasn’t expecting Isaac to answer. She could hear the surprise in his voice when he picked up the phone.

“Alison?”

“Hi, Isaac.” She’d never talked to him on the phone before. It felt awkward.

Isaac could feel the tension in her voice. It took him a second to register that there had to be a reason that she was calling, and that it probably wasn’t a good thing.

“Oh, shit.” His tone was rigid. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Emily. Something is going on with her and the baby. I’m on my way to the hospital, but I don’t know anything yet.” Why the fuck had she called him? She felt like kicking herself.

There was silence on the other end of the phone. At first Alison thought they’d been disconnected. But then she heard a heavy sigh and several breaths following it. He was hyperventilating.

She heard a thud. She was worried he’d passed out. But he’d just thunked back against a wall and slid down to the floor.

“You okay?” Alison asked.

“What happened?” Isaac sounded so small. So scared. He sounded like Alison felt.

“A friend of ours went to pick her up for prom and found her in the bathroom. She was…” She couldn’t stand the thought of Emily being in need, of _the baby_ being in need. Emily must have felt so helpless. Alison knew how much that little girl meant to her, “…there was some bleeding…”

“Fuck. That sounds bad.” He paused. There was something rustling on his end of the phone. She heard the clacking of a keyboard. He was looking for something. “I can’t…I don’t know when I can be there. My parents probably won’t give me money for a plane ticket. I have to check the bus fares and…”

“Just slow down. We don’t know anything yet.”

“This is Emily and my kid we’re talking about.” He snapped. “I know you two are ready to run off and start a happy little family, but we had something before she moved there. She was my best friend.”

It made Alison’s face flush in anger. Partly because it was true. No matter how many times Emily told her that Isaac was her past, he would always be connected to her because of the baby.

She also felt strangely protective over the fact that Isaac was calling the baby his. He _had_ gotten her pregnant. But Alison was the one who held her hair when the morning sickness got to her. She was the one who rubbed Emily’s feet when they were swollen from a long shift at the gym. She was the one who had gone to every doctor’s appointment and ultrasound. She made sure she had a balanced breakfast and took her prenatal vitamins and stayed up with her when she had insomnia.

She was Emily’s partner. And she knew they were still just kids, but she wanted to step up and be there. And Emily wanted that, too. Emily had asked _her_ to be her daughter’s mother. _They_ were a family. And Alison would do whatever it took to protect her family.

Isaac hadn’t been nearly as involved as he said he would be, though Alison knew a lot of that was because of his parents. A lot of it was also because she knew he was scared. She knew Emily was scared, too, though the brunette would never admit it. The only difference was that Isaac had the luxury of hiding behind his parents. Emily didn’t. _She_ was the one carrying the baby. _She_ was the one who had the sole role of responsibility.

And she was the one in a hospital right now.

Alison opened her mouth to rip into Isaac for acting like a jackass, but before she said anything he immediately started talking.

“God, I’m so sorry.” He sounded frazzled. “You didn’t deserve that. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It’s just…I’m so far away, and I feel helpless.” He sounded like he was on the verge of crying. “I can’t do anything and it pisses me off. But that’s not your fault. I’m sorry.” He said it again for what felt like the hundredth time. “I’m just freaking the fuck out.”

“Me too,” her voice came out tiny and quiet.

There was a silent moment of understanding between them. Alison’s phone buzzed and she heard a chirp, an alert from her messages. She tore the phone away from her ear and looked at it.

**_Just got to the ER. They took Emily back to try and get the bleeding under control. She was in and out of consciousness. Still don’t know anything._ **

Alison grumbled under her breath.

 _Not helpful, Hanna_. She bitched in thought.

Another text popped up.

**_She wanted me to tell you she loves you._ **

Normally it was something that would make her feel a surge of warmth. But the words made her blood run cold. It sounded like a goodbye.

“How are you holding up?” Isaac asked.

“Huh?”

“Are you okay? Do you have someone with you?”

“Um…my friend.” It felt so weird to call Mike Montgomery a friend. _Mike Montgomery._ Aria’s annoying baby brother. But he was grown now. And he’d stood by her for months. “He’s taking me to the hospital.”

She glanced at Mike. Normally he had a clever retort, but he sat quietly in the driver’s seat, concentrating on the road. It only added to the intensity of the situation. Mike was _never_ serious. She longed for him to make a joke. She needed it.

“We’re almost there.” Alison looked at the upcoming exit. “Another one of our friends is there with her.”

“So she’s not alone.” Isaac breathed a sigh of relief.

“No, she’s not.” _No thanks to me._ She should have stayed with her. “This is my fault,” she blurted out.

She hadn’t been adamant enough about Emily resting. She hadn’t seen the signs. She’d probably made it worse by getting rough with her in bed.

“What?” Isaac was quick to disagree, “No. Don’t blame yourself for this…”

“I should have been with her. I shouldn’t have left her side.” Especially not considering they had someone after them. “You probably never would have left her.”

“Alison, listen to me. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She isn’t like that. And you know that. You probably know that better than I do.”

She felt guilty. She didn’t deserve his kindness. She’d thought so many horrible thoughts about him. She didn’t mean them. She would take it all back if it meant that Emily would be okay.

“Nice blinker, fuckwad,” Mike lifted his hand and gestured to the car in front of him with a scowl on his face. “I swear people out here drive like they failed the School of Mario Kart.”

_Thank you God for Mike Montgomery._

A joke.

A joke she needed so badly.

There was a brief moment of relief.

“Which area of the hospital are we supposed to go to?” Mike asked.

“The emergency parking is to the right.” Alison pulled the phone away from her ear to direct Mike. “Isaac, we just got here. I need to pay attention. I’ll call you when I know something.”

“Yeah. Please do. Take care of them for me.”

“I always do.”

When she hung up the phone she realized how much her hands were shaking. Mike pulled into the parking garage and parked the car. He reached over and put his hand on top of Alison’s. He reminded her to breathe.

“She’s tough. I don’t know many pregnant people who could wipe the floor with second degree black belts.” He squeezed her hand. “She’ll kick whatever this is in the ass and come out stronger.”

She smiled at him.

She hadn’t realized it, but over the course of the past year she’d really seen him grow up. He was a year younger, but the situation seemed to have aged him beyond his years. They had come a long way from her trademarking him as _Skidmark_.

The turning point had been the day in the library when Noel was harassing her. Mike had refused to back down, even though he didn’t really like her. He stood up for her. He’d always been more mature than she’d given him credit for. She’d asked him to be her bodyguard that day. He’d stepped up.

“Thank you, Mike.”

“What are bodyguards for?” He winked.

She thanked him again before bolting from the car and running into the emergency room. She saw Emily’s mother sitting in the waiting room.

“Alison.” Pam saw her coming and rose to her feet. She seemed surprised to see her, and even more surprised to see her in her flashy red dress.

The fact that the little conservative woman didn’t even look twice at her revealing outfit or say anything about it added to the gravity of the situation.

“How is she?” Alison asked, her voice coming out in a frantic panic.

“They’re trying to get the bleeding under control…”

 _Bleeding._ Alison faltered on her feet.

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

 _“Concentrate on the real. The here.”_ Caleb’s words came back to her. _“One minute at a time_. _”_

She took a breath.

“What about the baby? Do we know anything yet?”

“They’re doing everything they can.” Pam replied. She tried to sound calm, but Alison could hear the tension in her voice.

Something inside of Alison shifted. She felt a wave of dizziness. She thought she might pass out.

She felt Pam’s hand guiding her down into a chair.

“Deep breaths, honey.”

Alison tried to take her advice, but her emotions were bubbling to the surface. She’d hit the breaking point.

She heard a loud sob echoing in the room. She looked around to see where it had come from only to see that everyone was looking at her.

It was her. She was the one crying.

Pam wrapped her arms around her and stroked the back of her head to try and soothe her. Alison couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. She was so afraid she was going to lose them.

She bawled, her entire body shivering as Pam held her, giving her more maternal love than she had ever gotten from her cold miserable shrew of a mother. She clung to the older woman. She barely knew her, but she felt safe in her arms.

She felt a comforting hand on her knee. She knew it wasn’t Pam, since she was in her tight embrace.

She turned and saw Hanna sitting next to her. Alison wasn’t sure when she’d come in, but she was glad to see her.

Hanna’s eyes were red. Her cheeks were stained from her mascara. Her beautiful blue sequined dress was stained and wrinkled. She looked like a mess, but she also still looked strangely beautiful.

Alison silently reached for Hanna’s hand. She hadn’t been expecting to find comfort in her girlfriend’s mother or in an old nemesis turned friend, but she couldn’t imagine being there without them. She needed them.

Alison could tell that Hanna was shaken up. She couldn’t imagine what she had seen at Emily’s apartment. Alison’s eyes met Hanna’s and she saw a haunted expression in them. She looked sick. She looked pale. Alison wondered if she looked sick and pale, too.

Mike walked into the ER, having missed the bulk of Alison’s sobbing. He looked uncomfortable. His hands were buried deep in his pockets. He twisted around on his feet for a few seconds before sitting in a row of chairs that was facing the seats that the girls were in. He reached into the pocket of his dress jacket and pulled out several packets of tissues.

Alison and Hanna looked at him in confusion when he reached out to hand the tissues to them. He peered at the floor sheepishly.

“My mom said that a gentleman always carries accessories that can help a lady in a make-up crisis.” He muttered, his face turning red.

It made Alison smile.

_Note to self: Thank Ella Montgomery._

Pam reached out and took the tissues with one hand and put her palm against his shoulder with her other hand.

“Your mother is a very wise woman.” Pam gave him an encouraging nod. “Thank you, Mike.”

Alison took a tissue and dabbed her wet puffy eyes. She wiped her nose and then let out a little sniffle. She tugged on the hem of her dress, trying to distract herself.

She spent an inordinate amount of time staring at her dress. The pattern of it was burned into her mind.

She felt a jet of cold air hit her from the vents and she shivered. She’d picked the dress out specifically so she wouldn’t get hot while dancing, but she hadn’t considered that she wouldn’t be moving and that she would freeze to death.

Mike shifted in his seat, pulling his jacket off. He leaned over and gently put it over Alison’s shoulders. She looked up at him tearfully. The kindness she had been shown had really opened her eyes.

She mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ and he nodded his head and sat back down. She wrapped the coat around herself, pulling it tight. She tried to imagine that it was Emily’s arms.

She heard soft footsteps approaching.

When she looked up she saw Caleb walking towards them. He had a tray of take-out coffee cups in his hands. He didn’t say anything. He just quietly handed all three of them a coffee and sat down next to Hanna. Hanna immediately latched on to his hand and leaned towards him. He wrapped his arms around her and she let out a quiet little sob.

Alison peered at Caleb. He looked so different in his tuxedo. It’s something she hadn’t taken notice of back at _The Brew_. She barely recognized him.

“You boys look so handsome.” Pam forced a smile on to her face. She was trying to find anything…any light she could possibly hold on to. She faced the girls. “And you in your dresses…you’re beautiful.” She reached across Alison’s lap and wiped a glob of mascara off of Hanna’s face. “You really should be at your prom.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon, Mrs. Fields.” Caleb smiled politely at her.

Alison knew it was hard for him to be around adults. All of the adults in his life had treated him poorly. His foster parents, his social workers, the teachers who judged him based on his looks. He rarely caught a break with adults. But he seemed perfectly poised around Emily’s mother.

She had a random flashback to the genuine appreciation he had after the Fields sent him a gift basket for jumping in at the Halloween dance and helping save Emily’s life. He’d been so delighted to get a kitchen set. Something so small had meant so much to him. His gratitude made Alison appreciate the simple things in life.

“My coworker Sabrina rounded up some volunteers to finish with the pre-prom party. And the girls said they wanted to come and wait with us. Is that okay? I told them I’d text them when I had an answer.” Caleb reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“That’s very sweet, but you kids only get one prom. I’m sure Emily is going to be fine…” Her tone suggested she was saying it for her benefit as much as theirs.

“I know. But to be honest I don’t think any of us feel like dancing until we know that for sure.”

Pam nodded to let him know it was okay to make the call. He pulled up the group text and put out the alert, letting them know that Pam was okay with them coming to wait with them.

Alison could see the tension on the older woman’s face. She held her pain inside just like Emily.

Pam held it together remarkably well, but Alison saw her walls breaking down a bit when Emily’s dad rushed in ten minutes later. He’d been at work when Pam called him.

Everyone stood up to greet him. When he saw everyone in their prom outfits he smiled at them.

Despite the situation he was warm and receptive to seeing them, but Alison could see the serious undertone behind his eyes. The wheels in his head were working on overdrive. He was worried about his baby girl and _her_ baby girl. He tried to force a smile, just like Pam had done earlier.

“Didn’t realize we were supposed to wear formal attire. Missed the memo.” Wayne brushed off his camo fatigues. He pulled his hat off of his head and ran his hand over his buzzcut. “It’s really nice that you kids are here, but I’m sure Emmy would want you to go enjoy yourselves at the dance.”

“We’re bringing the dance to her, sir.” Mike held up his phone, showing him a playlist of music he was compiling. “When she’s ready for visitors we’re going to make sure she gets her prom, too.” He smiled, but then softly added, “If that’s okay, I mean. We just don’t want her to miss out.”

The optimism made Alison feel a little bit better. She had seen Caleb and Mike conspiring about something, but she didn’t know that’s what they’d been discussing.

“I’m sure she’ll love it.” Wayne gave them an appreciative look.

He was glad that his daughter had such good friends. He had no idea that she’d touched so many lives. After they’d moved away from Pennsylvania he’d always assumed they’d be leaving that part of their lives in the past. He never would have dreamed that moving back would have opened up so many wonderful doors for his daughter.

“Hey…” Caleb looked at his phone and then nudged Mike’s arm. “The girls are almost here.”

Alison wasn’t the least bit surprised that their friends were dropping everything for Emily. Their friendship went far beyond the day she’d moved back to the city. She’d weaseled her way into their hearts when they were kids. When she’d gotten back it was like no time had passed. Everyone wanted to be close to her. She was a good person, and people appreciated that.

“Excuse us.” Mike nodded at the adults. “We’re going to meet them in the parking lot.”

Alison watched them leave. She felt a quiet sense of panic that she didn’t understand. She twisted around to make sure Hanna was still with her. She instinctively reached out and grasped her hand.

Hanna gave her a slight nod to let her know she wasn’t going anywhere. She could sense Alison’s anxiety. She wasn’t going to leave her alone. Alison shot her an appreciative look.

Wayne’s attention turned to Alison. He could see the tracks on her face that had been stained by her tears. He could tell that she was devastated. Alison felt a break in her emotions when she saw his soft brown eyes.

Emily had his eyes. His kind brave eyes. Would the baby have those eyes?

Was the baby even okay?

The idea of not being able to see Emily’s child gutted her. If something happened to either one of them…

She felt Wayne’s warm calloused hand against her shoulder. He was looking at her like the father she’d never had. It made her feel like crying again. Emily’s parents had invited her in, and she never wanted to leave.

Wayne could see that Alison was distraught, so he took a moment to comfort her…because he knew that’s exactly what Emily would do. His daughter was madly in love with Alison, and she would never forgive him if he didn’t step up and take care of her. He also realized that Alison didn’t have many people in her life who cared for her. He knew that her parents were absent.

“Hey, she’ll be okay…” He didn’t have the opportunity to finish before Alison surged forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him.

It was the most emotion she’d felt in a long time. Why hadn’t she had parents who cared? Why had she been saddled with emotionless abusive assholes? Why couldn’t she have someone like Wayne Fields? Even Pam Fields had her good qualities. They weren’t perfect. Emily had told her that, but it was clear that Emily’s parents loved their daughter.

Alison hugged him so tightly that she felt him let out a surprised gust of air.

“Don’t you worry now. Everything is going to be okay.” He wrapped his arms around her and embraced the hug. He pulled back and added with a wry smile, “She’s tough…like her old man.”

“Army strong.” Alison smiled, her eyes still flooded with tears.

“Damn right.” He laughed and put his hat back on. “And don’t you worry about the baby either. She comes from a long line of fighters. That little girl is going to live a long and healthy life, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.” They were the first words she’d spoken since he’d arrived.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“I just want to see her.” Her voice was hoarse from sobbing.

“We’ll work on that.” He nodded, reaching for Pam’s hand. “What say we get some answers, Ma?”

Pam nodded, her body naturally gravitating towards him. They went to see if they could find out what was happening with their daughter.

Alison sank back into the chair. Hanna sat next to her. Alison slowly looked up at her, taking the time to admire her dress. It fit her perfectly. Alison stared, thinking about all the times she had sneered and called her _Hefty Hanna_.

She had been crazy to demean her natural beauty. Hanna had turned out to be a fierce friend to have. She was sitting in a hospital waiting room on prom night comforting someone who used to torture her. She was more selfless than Alison had ever realized.

“You’re going to miss prom.” Alison played with her imperfect manicure. She’d been picking at her fingernails since she’d gotten the call about Emily.

“Caleb didn’t really want to go anyway. He hates dances.” Hanna stared at the middle of the room, her gaze going nowhere.

“He cared enough to wear the tux.” Alison smiled softly.

Hanna nodded and smiled back at her, but the smile didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel real because Alison knew that either one of them were happy.

“Are you…um…” Alison fidgeted in her seat. She was uncomfortable thinking about what Hanna had seen, “…are you okay?”

“What do you mean?” Hanna looked at her, perplexed.

“It must have been terrifying finding her…” Her throat felt like it was closing up. She had to clench her jaw to stop herself from crying again. Imagining Emily and the baby in distress was too hard to bear. “It’s…I know it’s been a tough night for all of us.”

“It was pretty bad,” Hanna’s voice was soft and tender. Her tone wavered as she battled her emotions. She thought Emily was dead, and it had shaken her to her core. “But she’s here now. The doctors will take care of her.”

“Did it look like…” She cringed, “Was she…” All she could picture was Emily lying on the floor and screaming for help. “Do you think someone did this to her?”

“You mean _someone_ like Wilden’s evil counterpart?” Hanna questioned.

“This person has been trying to hurt us for so long. If they finally got to her…and I wasn’t there…”

“I don’t think it was like that.” Hanna shook her head. “This didn’t look like someone attacked her. And she didn’t say anything about it. I think this is just a freak thing.”

“Yeah, like her passing out in the gym after her sports drink was drugged was an accident?” Alison grumbled under her breath. “For all we know someone poisoned her.”

And she wasn’t there. She hadn’t been able to protect her.

“I don’t know.” Hanna sighed. “I don’t know anything anymore. All I know is what I saw. And it looked…” She paused to consider her words, “…it _felt_ like a terrible thing that just _happened_. I don’t know how smart this person is, but I don’t think this was something they could have done to her. I think she’s sick. She was drenched in sweat, but her skin was freezing. I don’t know if it was because of the blood loss or what, but she was like _white_ in her face.”

There was a beat of silence, then Alison let out a grunt of aggravation.

“I’m such an idiot.” She slammed her palm down against the arm of the chair. The cold metal stung her hand. “I knew it. I knew something was wrong.”

She should have pushed Emily to rest. She should have insisted that she was being stubborn. She was pushing herself too hard. She shouldn’t have let her be so active.

_I should have known._

“You couldn’t have stopped this. She was fine, Ali.” Hanna replied softly. “She was fine until she wasn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. It just…it happened.”

Alison leaned back in the chair, putting her head up against the wall. She closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them back up she stared blankly at the ceiling. She slowly lowered her head. She turned to the blonde next to her and let out trembling breath.

“I’m scared, Hanna.”

It was hard for her to admit it, to Hanna Marin, of all people. But she needed a friend. She needed someone who would understand. She needed someone who loved Emily as much as she loved Emily.

“I know.” Hanna reached over, and she did something she’d never done before...she pulled Alison in for a hug. “Me too.”

* * *

The first thing Emily noticed about the room when she woke up was the neutral colors. It was sad and drab. The lighting was dim to offset the high energy vibes that often came with being in a busy hospital. She could hear several different machines beeping.

She was still groggy. She was having a hard time remembering what had happened. She glanced up and saw several IV bags filled with difference substances. One of the bags was a blood bag. She was getting a blood transfusion. But she didn’t know why. Her memory was choppy.

She was sweating, but she felt cold. The blankets on top of her were heavy and itchy. Her body was aching. Her head was pounding.

The sounds of the machinery started to grow louder in volume. It was as if her ears were starting to wake up. The sound was ten times louder in her head, which only made her brain feel much foggier.

It took her a few minutes to get her bearings. But then she remembered what happened.

_My baby._

The panic set in. She started squirming in bed, trying to kick the blankets off of her body.

_What happened to my daughter?_

She gasped and started to whine under her breath when the sheets got tangled around her leg.

“Wayne…” She heard her mother.

“Easy, Emmy.” Her father’s soothing voice broke through the tension.

When she looked up she realized that her parents were rushing to her bedside. Her mother was in large fold out chair. Her father was already standing over her. He put his hand on her shoulder, pushing her to lay back down. Her mother scrambled to her other side, grabbing her hand.

“Is she…” Tears burned Emily’s eyes. She couldn’t feel her daughter. She couldn’t see her belly because of all the stupid blankets. She choked back a sob. “Oh my God…is she…”

“She’s stable.” Her mother squeezed her hand and reached up to touch her flushed cheek. “The ultrasound showed that her heart rate was a little elevated, but she’s okay. They’re monitoring everything. They’re taking care of her. She’s okay.” She repeated. She knew Emily needed to hear it. “Her little heartbeat is strong.”

Emily felt a flood of relief. She sank back into the bed and started to cry. She had been afraid for her baby before. The night she was almost run off the road. The day in the steam room. But nothing compared to feeling like she was actively losing her.

The blood on her fingers had convinced her that the baby was in distress. She’d been able to feel it. She had been able to feel her little girl begging…holding on to life. She could practically hear her cries as she laid on the bathroom floor bleeding out.

But she was okay. She was alive. That’s all that mattered.

“We really have to stop having family gatherings here at the hospital, kid.” Her dad kissed her forehead. “If you want to get our attention you don’t have to go this far.”

She laughed softly. She reached up and wiped the tears away from her face. She felt her mother’s warm palms cupping her hand.

She peered at her mom. Her eyes were puffy and red. It was obvious she’d been crying. Emily could see the devastation on her face. She only remembered bits and pieces of what happened, but she remembered her mother cradling her in the bathroom and telling her everything was going to be okay. She remembered her mother’s warm hands, her soothing voice, and her unwavering tenacity.

She remembered Hanna being there. She remembered the blonde crying. She remembered telling her,

_“Tell Alison I love her.”_

She remembered her mother walking next to the gurney in the ambulance bay. Emily had tearfully reached for her hand. She was so dizzy. She’d fought to stay conscious. She’d squeezed her hand. In that moment she’d only wanted her mom.

_“Mom, I’m scared.”_

_“It’s okay. I’m here, baby.”_ She’d been reassuring her the entire time.

The pain had been terrifying. She remembered begging before passing out,

_“If it comes down to it I want them to save her…”_

_“Emmy, you’re going to be fine. The doctors will take care of both of you.”_

_“Promise me. Promise me they’ll put her first. She’s the priority. Don’t let her die. Please don’t let her die, mom.”_

It’s the last thing she said before she lost consciousness again. It hadn’t dawned on her that she was asking her mother to save her child while making the choice to lose her own. It was an impossible choice.

She knew exactly what was going through her mother’s head, because she’d felt the same thing when she felt her child in distress. A mother’s love was an unspoken understanding…a connection so powerful that there was no other force on the planet that could compare.

Emily reached underneath the covers. The only desire she had was to feel her baby move. When she touched her stomach she realized there were wires attached to her, feeding into a machine and monitoring her daughter.

She silently told her baby exactly what her mother told her.

_I’m here, baby._

“She’s really okay?” Emily asked.

“You’re both going to be fine.” Her mother assured her. “The doctor said that the bleeding was caused by an infection in your placenta. When they did your exam they found that it’s a bit lower than it should be during this stage of your pregnancy. They stopped the bleeding. You should be fine with the antibiotics, but they want you on bed rest.”

“Bed rest?” Emily didn’t like the sound of it.

The only thing that had kept her from going out of her mind was staying busy. What about school? They had finals coming up. And how would she be able to work? She was counting on her paychecks.

“I know you’ve always been on the go, but it’s time for you to slow down.” Her dad rubbed her cheek.

Emily didn’t argue. All she had to do was think about the horrifying moments in her bathroom. She wanted to do what was best for her child.

“I’ll do whatever it takes.” She peered down at her stomach.

Her dad continued to caress her cheek, leaving his palm against her face. He wiped some hair away from her face. She was still burning up. He frowned in concern.

“I’m going to let the nurse know she’s awake.” He looked at Pam. They traded worried expressions.

Emily was too exhausted to catch it. Now that her adrenaline had worn off she could feel the fever working its way through her body. It was in her bones. She was surprised at how suddenly it had come on. It was like a dam breaking. She hadn’t felt deathly ill. She’d felt fatigued, but she thought it was normal.

“Mom?” Her voice came out timid. She didn’t recognize it.

“I’m still here, Em.” She ran her hand over Emily’s forehead. “I’ll be here as long as you need me.” She touched the top of her head. She could still feel the fever raging.

Her mother’s touch gave her a natural pain reliever that no medication could give. It nudged open a well of walled off feelings.

She was swimming in a sea of emotions. She was relieved that her baby was okay, but she was angry at her body for betraying her. It made her feel like something inside of her was broken.

She had a wild amount of guilt crushing her. Could she have done something that would have prevented it?

“Did I do something wrong? Did I…did I push too hard?” Emily put her hand against her stomach. She still hadn’t felt her baby move. It scared her. “Is this my fault?”

“No, sweetheart.” Her mother answered without hesitation. “You have done everything you were supposed to do. It was just a fluke.”

“A fluke in _me_ …” Emily said slowly.

Pam seemed to understand exactly what Emily was saying, and she immediately put a stop to it.

“Emily, there is nothing wrong with you.” She rubbed her arm. “It’s natural to feel betrayed by your body when something like this happens. It’s okay to feel angry. But it’s important for you to know that as badly as it might hurt, you can’t shoulder that burden. You can’t be angry at your body forever. Honor the feelings you’re having, but don’t let them control you.”

Her mother’s touch changed as she spoke. Emily picked up on a slight warble in her tone. She seemed to be speaking from more than just a place of wisdom. She seemed to be speaking from experience.

Emily saw something flicker in her eyes, a deep sadness that she was hiding.

Pam looked down at her. She saw the recognition on Emily’s face. She could see her daughter’s eyes curiously searching hers.

“I know how it feels.” Pam seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “I lost a pregnancy once.”

All at once, Emily could see the grief flooding her mother’s body. She could see it in the way her shoulders were slumped. She could see it in the heavy burden she carried behind her eyes. She could feel it in her touch.

“When?” Emily gripped her mother’s hand.

“You were two. I was only about twelve weeks along. I hadn’t started to show yet, so no one knew.” Her face was tense in thought. “I knew it was happening, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was getting you up from a nap.” A sad smile washed across her face. “You were always so happy to see me. You’d hold your arms out and just smile and call _MamaMama_ over and over. I was walking out of your room with you in my arms when it started. I knew exactly what it was when I felt it.” She swallowed hard. “You were so cuddly that day. It’s like you knew I needed it. After a while I took you into my bedroom and you fell asleep. And I just cried and kissed your head.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” A flood of sympathy poured out of Emily’s touch into her mother’s hand. She squeezed her fingers tight.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Probably mostly in part because you were so young, and I was so wrapped up in taking care of you that I never took the time to properly deal with it. But when I did deal with it I felt _so_ angry.” She sighed heavily, gritting her teeth to keep from crying. “I hated myself and I hated my body. It took longer than I care to admit for me to understand that it wasn’t my fault. And I don’t want to see you go down that same path.”

She took a thoughtful breath. She rubbed her thumb over the backs of Emily’s knuckles.

“There is a lot that you might think that I don’t understand about you, honey, but I love you. You are my child. And when I saw you on that bathroom floor my mind went careening back to the day you were two. It is _unimaginable_ to go through what you went through, but I get it. I do.”

Of course she got it. She was a mother. She’d lost one child and had almost lost another.

Emily was speechless. Her mother’s lip twitched, a slight break in the stoic mask on her face.

“The outcomes are different, thankfully. She’s going to be fine.” She touched her daughter’s stomach. It was the first time she’d felt her mother connect, _truly_ connect with the baby. It brought tears to her eyes. “We don’t always have control over what happens to us. But we can control how we change because of it.”

Emily peered at her, learning to see her in a new light…learning to understand her mother in a way she’d never perceieved her before. All of the control that she held on to…her unwavering beliefs…everything that made the woman who she was…it was part of her past.

Emily pushed herself up in bed, reaching to wrap her arms around her mother. Both of them were shaking. The terrible circumstances had opened an unexpected path to healing. They weren’t just mother and daughter. They were two women who had nearly lost their children.

Emily started sobbing. She gripped her mother tightly, her face buried in her neck. Her fingers were twisted deeply in the fabric of her shirt. Muffled cries filled the room.

“God, I was scared. I was so scared. I thought I’d lost her.” She remembered flashes. Seeing the blood. Falling to her knees. Begging her daughter to hold on. “I wanted to die.”

“Oh, baby…” _Let it out._

She let her cry. She held her and stroked the back of her head, just as she’d done for Alison in the lobby.

Being a parent never ended. It didn’t matter if a child was eight or eighteen...parents were _always_ on duty. And sometimes that meant stowing their own pain in lieu of their children.

Emily felt like a baby, but being in her mother’s arms soothed her. She was rocking back and forth. She wasn’t sure if she was doing it or if her mother was doing it.

She pulled back and hiccuped out several uneven breaths. The sheer panic of losing her baby had hit her hard. She couldn’t get her emotions under control. She took several deep breaths as she reached up to palm the tears away from her face. The tears felt freeing in an odd way.

Pam soothed her. In that moment Emily looked like a child again. She was so independent and so mature that sometimes it was easy for her mother to forget that she was still so young.

“It was horrible.” Emily’s voice came out strained. “I was terrified. I have never been in so much pain. I mean…my back has been hurting a lot since New York.”

She’d assumed it was because of the strain she’d put on it to pull Alison off of the ledge of the building.

“I’ve been having hot flashes the last few days, but I thought it was just regular hormones. I didn’t know it was going to put her in danger. I didn’t know…”

What kind of mother was she? Her baby wasn’t even born, and she’d nearly gotten her killed. She tearfully shook her head. She felt like the worst person in the world.

“I should have known something was wrong.” Her bottom lip quivered. “She was trying to tell me. I just wasn’t listening.”

Pam knew how hard it was for her daughter to be vulnerable. So she knew that when Emily said she had been terrified…it had been so much worse than that. Because her daughter didn’t get scared. As a toddler she would dive head first down the playground slide. As a child she fearlessly leaped into the deep end of the pool. As a teenager she raced her bike down the roads as speeds that scared the hell out of her and Wayne.

Her fear was palpable. Her frustration was understandable. But the fact that she was blaming herself pained her mother to hear.

“You couldn’t have known.” She rubbed Emily’s hand vigorously, trying to force her to listen to her. “We do the best we can as mothers. But we can’t fix everything. We can’t protect our children from everything.”

Her words seemed to have a deeper meaning behind them.

Pam was silently kicking herself for breaking things between the two of them almost to the point of no return. She felt guilty for all the pain she’d caused her daughter.

“Listen…” She threaded her fingers into Emily’s, careful not to jostle her IV line, “You have a lot going on right now. And I don’t like the idea of you being alone in your apartment.”

Emily saw tears in her mother’s eyes. Something about her reaction registered in her mind. She knew what it felt like to feel helpless to protect her child. Her mother’s fear resonated deeply in her.

“I’m not usually alone…”

“I know. But I want you to come home.”

She saw Emily flinch at the suggestion. She understood. Emily had experienced a taste of freedom, and her mother understood that. But the circumstances were extreme.

“At least until after the baby is born. I know I’ve been hard on you. I…” She swallowed hard. “I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye…”

The pain on her face was something that Emily recognized. She understood what the pain would be like if she lost her daughter. She could see it written all over her mother’s face.

“Sweetie, I love you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t…” She stuttered, trying to find the right words, “…like you weren’t whole in some way…or like you didn’t belong. You are my baby. And I love you. I love you whether you love girls or boys or…just…whoever. You are perfect. I want you to know that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you. It wasn’t very motherly.”

“It’s okay, mom.” She put her free hand on top of their joined hands. She smiled weakly.

She understood everything now. Parents were infallible.

“Please let me back in. Let me help you with this. I know what you’re going through. The thoughts…the feelings…”

“The fear?” Emily asked curiously.

“Every day of my life.” Pam let out an exasperated sigh.

“How do you deal with it?” Emily questioned quietly. “How do you deal with the fear of the worst thing in the world happening to your baby?”

“It’s part of motherhood.”

“Can I return this part of it with a receipt? I don’t like it.” Emily put her hand against her stomach. _Scaring the shit out of mommy is not a very nice thing to do._

For the first time since the agony of the pain had hit her she felt her daughter move. It was like a little nod,

_I’m fine, mommy. Stop worrying._

Her body relaxed. Her shoulders fell forward. She felt like weeping.

_Thank God._

“Everything okay?” Her mom asked.

“Better than okay.” Emily nodded, huffing out a huge sigh of relief. “I can feel her moving again.” Her tears of frustration and fear turned into tears of joy. “Hi, baby girl.” She spoke softly to her belly. “You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

Her mother pulled a chair up next to her bed. She was still gripping her hand tightly. She never wanted to let her baby go again.

“There should be some kind of an award for mothers whose children nearly give them heart attacks.” Emily watched the baby’s movements.

“There really should.” Pam rubbed her arm.

Emily slowly looked up at her.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Emily said softly.

“I’m just glad Hanna showed up when she did.”

“Oh my God.” It suddenly dawned on Emily that it was prom night and her best friend had found her lying a pool of her own blood. “Is Hanna okay?” A soft worried expression crossed her face.

“She’s a little shaken up, but she’s a tough girl. She’s with Alison, Mike, and Caleb in the waiting room. Your other friends are coming, too.”

“They’re supposed to be at prom.” Though it wasn’t a surprise to Emily that her friends were there.

“Some things are more important.” Her mother lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. She rubbed her stomach, careful not to disturb the wires attached to her.

“I wonder if she was scared.” Emily trailed her fingers against her taut skin. What must it feel like to be a baby and not know what’s going on? “She feels like she’s scared.”

“I think we were all a little scared today,” Pam said.

“How is Alison?” She was fairly certain she knew the answer.

The look on her mother’s face was hard to read.

“She’s very worried about you.”

“Can you get her for me? The baby…she really responds to her. I think she’ll be able to soothe her. And I think it might make Alison feel better, too.”

Alison’s language of love was touch. Once she was able to feel for herself that the baby was okay she’d be okay.

“Of course.” Pam put her palm against Emily’s cheek. She stood up and kissed her forehead.

Pam slowly walked out of the room, stopping to glance at her daughter before leaving. She needed to reassure herself that she was okay. She watched as her daughter smiled down at her belly and softly spoke to her granddaughter. It was all the reassurance she needed.

* * *

When she got back to the waiting area she was greeted by a room full of nearly a dozen kids dressed up in their suits, ties, and dresses.

“Hi, Mrs. Fields. I hope you don’t mind that we’re here.” Aria stood up, eager to greet her.

Ezra and Toby were next to her. Spencer was on Toby’s other side. Mona was sitting next to Mike. Hanna was sitting next to Caleb, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Not at all. It’s very sweet of you to check in on her.” Pam glanced at each of them for a few seconds, taking in their prom attire. “She’s resting comfortably. She’s going to be perfectly fine. And the baby is okay, too.”

The tension that had been gripping Alison’s body slowly faded.

Emily and the baby were okay. They were okay.

“You all look lovely.” Pam admired the girls’ dresses and the boys’ tuxedos. “You two put the entire prom together, didn’t you?” She looked at Spencer and then at Mona. “I bet your absence is really being felt tonight.”

“Fortunately since we put it together we’ve already seen it all,” Mona said with a wave of her hand. “You’ve seen one prom, you’ve seen them all.”

“Yeah.” Spencer agreed. “I personally never want to see another streamer or glitter packet again.” She glanced at Mrs. Fields. “Do you, Emily, or Mr. Fields need anything?”

“No, dear. We’re okay.”

“Can I see her?” Alison asked timidly.

“She’s asking for you, too, sweetheart. Come on.” Pam waved her over.

Alison eagerly rushed over to Pam’s side, pausing long enough only to give Mike back his tuxedo jacket and thank everyone for being there. She told them she’d update them and then followed Pam to Emily’s room.

Emily smiled when she saw her.

“I’ll let you two have a few minutes.” Pam waved from the doorway.

She walked off. Alison hurried to Emily’s side. Emily frowned when she saw the redness around her eyes.

“Hey.” Alison touched Emily’s face. She felt clammy and hot. “You’re burning up.” She brushed aside some of her sweat-soaked hair.

“My placenta is apparently angry at me. I’ve got a fever. I’m riding it out.” Emily took a sip from a mug of water the nurse had given her.

“Do you need anything?” Alison asked.

Emily shook her head.

“I’ll be fine.” Emily squeezed her hand. “How are you?”

“I don’t think my heart has stopped doing cartwheels yet.” Alison admitted. She gripped her hand. “It scared the hell out of me.”

“Me too.” Emily took a moment to admire her dress. Red looked fantastic on her. It made Emily want to do very unholy things to her body. “You look beautiful. Hell of a prom night, huh?”

Alison’s lower lip trembled. She couldn’t get over how fragile and vulnerable she looked. Emily had always been her motorcycle riding badass Mama. Alison had never seen her look truly delicate before.

Emily saw the fear in her eyes.

“Hey, we’re both going to be okay.” She caressed Alison’s arm.

“Thank God.” She put her palm against Emily’s belly. She rubbed her skin gently. She felt the little nugget nudge her hand. “Hey, sweet baby,” she said softly. “You scared us.”

Emily could feel her daughter turning, reacting to Alison’s voice. The interaction sent a flood of endorphins charging through her veins.

“What happened?” Alison asked, reaching up to touch Emily’s face again.

“It’s kind of a blur. There is a lot to unpack,” she said, grimacing. Bits and pieces were coming back to her. _Important_ bits and pieces. “I ran into Noel before I left the gym. He wanted to talk…”

“I fucking knew it. I fucking knew Wilden’s stupid little minions were behind this.” Alison flew into a rage. “I’ll kill him…”

“That’s not what this is about.” Emily tried to calm her down. “He wanted to tell me that my necklace…” She reached up and touched her bare neck. She glanced at Alison’s wrist. She breathed a sigh of relief because she didn’t have her bracelet on, “…and your bracelet have tracking devices in them.”

“What?” Alison’s brow creased in confusion.

“That’s how Wilden found us in New York. He had Noel switch out a charm in your bracelet for one that was bugged with a tracking device. He must have paid someone to do the same to my necklace. I don’t know any other details yet. But we’ll beat everything out of him when the time comes.”

“ _I’ll_ beat it out of him.” Alison corrected her. “No more strenuous activity for you, Indigo Girl.”

Emily rolled her eyes at her over-protection. She was irritated that Alison was right. She didn’t like the idea of missing out on beating up Noel Kahn.

“No kidding.” She huffed. “This took a lot out of me. You know how I am about my pride being wounded, but I’m not afraid to admit that this really hit me hard.”

“God, I hate myself for not being there. I’m so glad Hanna made it in time…” She shuddered to think about what could have happened. “How long were you alone like that?”

“I don’t know. I remember getting home from the gym and feeling sick, so I went into the bathroom. I thought a shower might help. Then this pain came out of nowhere. It was horrible. I felt really woozy and then the bleeding started.” She felt phantom pains at the thought of it. She felt nauseous all over again. “I…uh…I don’t remember much after that. I think…I think I might have panicked. There’s this whole chunk of time missing from the moment I saw the blood to the moment Hanna found me. It’s…weird.”

“That must have been terrifying.” Just _imagining_ Emily in pain and helpless was too much for her. “Is this my fault?” She put her hand on Emily’s stomach again. “Was it because of last night? I mean…I feel like I was too rough on you…”

“Absolutely not.” Emily grabbed her hand. She could see the tears in her eyes.

Emily knew exactly how she felt. She felt the same way. She blamed herself, too. But her mother was right. Sometimes things just happened.

“I just…I thought maybe I was too hard on you or hit something I shouldn’t have or…”

“People have sex all the time when they’re pregnant.”

“Yeah, but I mean last night was…”

“Ali…” Emily touched her face, “…you had nothing to do with this. My placenta is enlarged and it shifted lower than it’s supposed to be. I ended up with an infection. There was a partial detachment because of it, which caused the bleeding. It happens sometimes. It can cause pre-term labor before it’s supposed to happen. They were able to stop it. She’s fine. _I’m_ fine.”

“Oh.” Alison paused. She tried to process it in thought. “They don’t know what caused the shift?”

Emily shook her head and shrugged.

“Maybe it was all that dancing she was doing.” She tried to coax her to sit down. Alison pulled the chair up next to her bed. “Despite my fierce prom gown here…” she motioned to the blue hospital gown she was in, “…neither one of us is going to be doing any dancing for a while. The doctor wants me to go on bed rest.”

“Good, I was going to make you to do that anyway. Now I’ve got a doctor to back me up on it.” Alison nodded, a little too triumphantly. “I’m going to force you to get pampered. And you’re going to love every minute of it.”

She took the opportunity to lean forward and press a kiss against her stomach.

“Ugh, you’re going to use this as an excuse to make me watch all those _Dickens_ classics, aren’t you?” Emily teased.

Her banter didn’t have its normal ardent drive behind it. Alison could tell that she was exhausted.

“I will be at your beck and call. Whatever you need.” Alison pulled Emily’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles. “Whatever _she_ needs.” She reached out and put her free hand against Emily’s stomach. Even though she’d felt the baby move she still needed to convince herself that she was really okay.

Emily’s lip twitched. She had an amused look on her face.

“What?” Alison questioned. “What’s that look about?”

“Nothing.” Emily smiled in bemusement. “It’s just…if you would have told me back in September that Alison DiLaurentis was such a soft sap I never would have believed it.”

“I am _not_ a sap.” She pushed her lips out in a pout, but there was a hint of a smile buried in her faux frustration.

“Yes you are.” Emily leaned over. She pecked Alison on the cheek. “You’re _my_ sap.”

Alison’s phone buzzed from inside her purse. She ignored it at first. Everyone she knew was at the hospital.

Then it hit her. There was one person she hadn’t talked to yet. She cringed as she reached into her purse and pulled out her phone.

It was from Isaac.

**_Anything?_ **

“Who is it?” Emily questioned curiously.

There was a beat of silence. Alison looked away from her and cleared her throat before facing her again.

“I…um…I kind of called Isaac.”

“You what?”

“I just thought…” Alison stuttered. Had she done the right thing? “You guys have been talking. I thought he might want to know. I hope I didn’t overstep. I was just trying to do what I thought you might want me to do.”

“Hey…” Emily stopped her from spiraling. “I’m glad you did.”

Alison had done a good thing. And she’d done it even though she was wary of her friendship with him.

She reached for Alison’s phone, extending her palm out. She waved for her to hand the device to her. Alison put it in her hand.

Emily typed a message,

**_Isaac, it’s Emily. Everything is ok. We’re fine. I’ll call you later w/ an update. Need to rest tonight._ **

She sent it to him. She imagined he was glued to his phone, staring at it with a look so tense that the dimple between his eyebrows was popping out.

He had never handled stress well, except on the field. He had always been steadfast and unflappable when he had a football in his hands. It made her wonder if her daughter would inherit their dual athleticism.

She joked about the baby dancing, but she could see her in a little tutu twirling around at a ballet recital. Or kicking a ball on the soccer field. Or even swimming or playing football. It was in her genes.

Alison’s phone buzzed in Emily’s hand. It was a string of prayer-hand emojis followed by the message,

**_Please PLEASE take care of urself. Call me when u can._ **

Emily handed the phone back to Alison.

“He’s really not so bad.” Alison peered at the text exchange. It was hard for her to admit it to herself, but she was coming around to Isaac being in the picture. “He clearly cares about you and the baby.”

She felt Emily’s fingers against her arm and she looked up at her.

“He cares about you, too.”

“He doesn’t even _know_ me,” Alison said with a bashful look on her face.

“No. But he knows I love you. And he knows that you love me and this child. And that’s enough for him.” Emily smiled.

The dark sunken circles under her eyes were a glaring indicator of the past few hours. Alison reached up to touch her face, rubbing her thumb underneath her right eye.

“You look tired.”

“I _am_ tired. I might take a nap. You should go get in a dance or two with the girls at prom. Take a few selfies. I bet Caleb and Mike would throw you a dance or two.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” She gripped her hand. “Besides, I couldn’t go anywhere even if I wanted to. Mike Montgomery has the keys to my car.”

“Well, this is a story I _have_ to hear.” Emily’s face lit up with intrigue.

“Oh, you know Mike.” She replied flippantly, “It started with him running over a mailbox and ended in a gripping police chase.” She winked. “Long story short, everyone is _kind of_ sort of here. You wanted me to go to prom, but… _surprise_!” She threw her palms up and did some unenthusiastic jazz hands. “We brought prom to you.”

“Are you serious?”

“They’re not going to leave until they know you’re okay.” Alison nodded.

“Well…” Emily lifted her arms, staring at the hospital gown hanging off of her body. She flicked her IV line. “I don’t exactly have the ideal attire, but…bring on the party-hounds, I guess.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it?” Alison reached up, smoothing her hair down. She was concerned that it might overstimulate her.

“What else do I have to do? It’s not like I’m going anywhere tonight.”

“Okay.” Alison reached for her phone. “I have an idea. Just give me some time.”

She sent Hanna a text,

**_Grab your travel make-up kit. My Prom Queen is ready for her close-up._ **

* * *

Hanna was in Emily’s room ten minutes later doing her make-up. She was so relieved to see her conscious and talking that she didn’t even bitch at her when she had to redo her eyeliner twice because of her fidgeting.

“Pop your lips for me.” Hanna pulled the tube of lipstick back and scrutinized her work.

“At least buy me dinner first.” Emily smacked her lips together and then puckered them back out and winked at Hanna.

“Easy, Tiger. Don’t exhaust all your energy on me. Your girl would kill me.” Hanna tossed the lipstick in her travel bag.

“She never has to know. Come on. Quick…while she’s in the bathroom.” Emily teased.

“I’m surprised she didn’t request a bedpan for herself so she could stay by your side.” Hanna chuckled. Her normally carefree attitude was subdued. She zipped her make-up bag up. She grabbed a mirror and held it up in front of Emily. “Thoughts?”

“Wow.” Emily moved her head from side to side. “Not bad. You can put ‘can make zombies look like real humans again’ on your resume now.”

Hanna laughed and lowered the mirror.

“I’m just glad you’ve got some _real_ color in your cheeks again.” She cut her eyes to the side and cleared her throat.

Emily could tell she was still upset.

“How are you doing?” She put her hand against Hanna’s knee.

“As far as prom nights go, I was expecting a little more _Pretty in Pink_ and a little less _Carrie._ ” She tried to bury her discomfort in humor.

“Hanna…seriously, how are you?” Emily nudged her.

Hanna fidgeted uncomfortably, but she faced her best friend.

“Finding you like that was…” She drifted off. She dug her nails into her leg and nervously gnawed on her lip. “I don’t know, it was probably the worst moment of my life, and that includes my dad walking out on my family. I thought you were dead, Em.”

“So did I.” She reached for Hanna’s hand. She squeezed it. “You saved my life tonight. You saved my daughter’s life. If you hadn’t come in when you did there is no telling what might have happened.”

The corners of Hanna’s mouth twitched into a tiny smile of relief.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Her hand tightened around Emily’s.

“You making a move on my woman?” Alison popped into the room from the tiny adjoining bathroom.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Hanna laughed. “She’s camera ready. I’ll go get the others.”

She squeezed Emily’s hand again gently before dropping it and walking towards the doorway. Alison walked over next to Emily and sat down next to her. They smiled at each other.

Emily had no idea what her friends had planned, but she was game for anything that would take her mind off of the night she’d had.

Her friends didn’t disappoint.

It started out with each couple doing a personalized dance for her. Alison sat next to her bed and acted as the DJ.

Aria and Ezra went first, dancing in a ballroom style that looked like something out of _The Great Gatsby._ Aria was light on her feet, but Ezra was a terrible dancer, so it was endearing to watch. Emily could tell that he was too in his head about the moves. The most hilarious thing is that if he had just relaxed and let his natural instincts take over then all the kickboxing classes he taught at the gym with Jake would have served him well in ballroom dancing.

Spencer and Toby danced to an eighties rock song that Emily was _certain_ Toby had picked. She had heard it at the gym hundreds of times. Where Ezra had failed with his aerobic footwork, Toby thrived. He let Spencer lead, which Emily assumed was Spencer’s idea, but he was fantastic in his follow-through.

Caleb and Hanna followed with a sexy pop hit that was Hanna’s choice. Caleb was a better dancer than Emily would have guessed. Hanna had told her that he hated to dance, but he was really quite good at it.

Mike and Mona were last. Mona made a dramatic show of entering before the music had even started. Seconds later a tango started to play and Mike came waltzing into the room with a rose in his mouth, the stem in between his lips.

Mike pulled the rose from in between his teeth and kneeled by Emily’s bed to hand her the flower. After she accepted it he stood back up and grabbed Mona’s hands tightly. The dance was filled with passion, but it was also goofy. Emily laughed to the point that her body started to hurt, but she didn’t mind the pain.

They snapped several selfies and then took turns giving her their well-wishes. The room wasn’t big enough for all of them to be with her at the same time, so they ended up crowding out into the hallway.

“This was really cool, you guys. Thanks.” Emily propped a pillow up behind her back to try and get more comfortable.

Alison reached over and tried to fluff it for her.

“You haven’t seen anything yet. Wait until T-Dawg and I do our beat-boxing break-dance combo. We’re going to light up the dance floor.” Mike threw his arm around Toby’s shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s…not a thing.” Toby laughed. He put his hand on the edge of Emily’s bed. “But we do have a group number that we want to do for you.” He glanced at Mike. “Hit it, Maestro.”

Mike pressed a button on his phone and _Hey Ya!_ by Outkast started playing. They each did a catwalk type dance up and down the side of her bed.

When the song was over Emily chuckled and looked at her friends. They were so freaking ridiculous. And she loved them for it.

“Alright, you made your point.” Emily laughed. “Now go…dance to lame music and drink spiked punch and make more memories.”

She practically had to nag them to leave. Alison had to finish chasing them out. Mike glanced at Alison as she was pushing him out of the room.

“We saved the best dance for last.” Mike grinned, like he had something devious planned.

Peggy Lee’s _Fever_ started to play on the Bluetooth speaker next to Emily’s bed. Alison spun around and smirked at Emily.

“ _Fever_?” Emily chuckled. “Really? Isn’t that a bit on the nose?”

“Too soon?” Hanna chuckled as she slowly closed the door. “Have fun you two.”

Alison sauntered over towards Emily’s bed, shaking her hips along to the song. She lowered her voice to sing along with the sexy sultry tone. She leaned over Emily and grabbed her hands, placing them on her stomach. She slowly guided them up towards her chest, all the while giving her an innocently flirtatious look.

Emily grinned eagerly, her eyes lighting up. Color flushed across the brunette’s face.

“Mmm, my little Uptown Girl is _all_ Uptown Woman tonight.” She wiggled her brows and smirked. “This is my kind of prom.”

Her comment broke Alison out of her sexy character acting. She slapped her hand in front of her lips and giggled. It was even more endearing than the sexy dance.

“C’mere.” Emily gestured in a seductive “come hither” motion.

Alison leaned over and their lips met for a kiss as the song continued. She pulled Alison down towards the side of the bed. Alison did a semi-lap-dance for her, and Emily enjoyed every second of it.

After the song was over Alison bent down to kiss her again.

“I’m sorry we missed our prom.” Emily stroked Alison’s cheek.

“We didn’t miss anything. We had our _own_ prom. _Right here_. And it was epic.” She pecked her lips. They’d made their own experience, and she knew it would always be meaningful to them. “Besides, we can pretend to be there because _everyone_ on social media is all over it.”

Alison couldn’t fit on the bed with her, which really annoyed her. She moved the chair next to her.

As the night went on they scrolled through all the prom hashtags and they lived vicariously through their friends. The girls video-chatted with them and did a virtual prom with them. They got a tour of the location, danced from Emily’s hospital room, chatted with people there, and experienced the feel of the dance.

They missed their friends, but being together is all that mattered to them.

Later that night when it was just the two of them Alison got a surprising message with a picture attached. She peered at the screen.

“Hey, Em, guess what?” She looked up and saw that Emily’s eyes were starting to get heavy.

Emily blinked slowly and yawned.

“What?”

“We won.” Alison smiled at her phone, flipping it to show her the picture that Hanna had sent. There was a large projection with a picture of the two of them that had been enlarged for the crowd at school. “We’re Rosewood High’s Prom Queens.”

“And we weren’t even there.” Emily reached for Alison’s hand.

“The power we have,” Alison said, jutting her chin out over-confidently.

Another message came through. A video was attached. Alison hit play. It was the crowd cheering. They could hear their friends chanting their names.

“I couldn’t ask for a more beautiful queen.” Emily smiled.

Alison reached up and stroked Emily’s cheek. Her skin was still really warm. Alison knew that it took time for the antibiotics to take effect, but she hated watching her suffer.

Emily fell asleep shortly after it was announced that they were the queens of the school. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully and that’s all that mattered to Alison.

Emily’s parents periodically checked in on her. Pam wanted to stay with her daughter, but she knew that Emily wanted Alison with her. Part of a mother’s job was learning when to let go. That didn’t stop her from gently stroking Emily’s hand and kissing her forehead as she slept.

Alison bought a matching pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt from the hospital gift shop and changed out of her dress and made herself comfortable in the large cushioned fold out chair against the wall. It was old and worn by all the other family members who had stayed with their ailing loved ones.

She tried to stay awake, pounding coffee like it was tequila. But against all odds, the coffee didn’t work.

Half an hour after Emily fell asleep Alison was snoozing like the undead. She slipped so far into her unconsciousness that even if the world was crashing around her she wouldn’t have heard it.

Emily was in and out of consciousness. She woke up a few times and saw Alison sleeping in the chair. She listened to the sounds of the machines tracking her daughter’s heart rate and listened to Alison softly snoring. Both of her girls quietly lulled her back to sleep.

The fever was working its way out of her system. A nurse came in late into the evening, stirring her from her sleep. The room looked foggy through Emily’s eyes. The nurse took her temperature and then put something in her IV line.

“This might make you a little groggy, hon.” She rubbed Emily’s hand.

“I’m already groggy.” Emily yawned.

“Then this will just help you sleep better.” She chuckled.

Emily glanced at Alison, who was still out cold.

“Did you inject her with it, too?” Emily joked.

“Nope. That’s all her natural talent.” The nurse looked up at Emily’s IV bag and reached up to adjust it. “Not very often we find family sleeping so soundly.” Emily smiled when she heard the nurse call Alison _family_. “These meds I’m giving should help with your nausea, but they pack a punch. You might be out for a while.”

“As long as she’s here, I’m good.” She motioned to her lovely sleeping blonde.

She was like a living embodiment of _Sleeping Beauty._ She couldn’t take her eyes off of her. There was a bright aura around her.

She felt the medicine starting to take effect. The nurse gently pat her hand before leaving, letting her know to use the call button if she needed anything.

As Emily’s vision slowly started to close in on itself she kept her focus on Alison. She felt something warm flowing through her veins. She was sure the medical staff would tell her it was the drugs, but Emily was convinced it was Alison. The girl was in every part of her body.

She dreamed about having a picnic with Alison. They were back at the Apple Orchard. But they weren’t alone. This time they had a sweet little bundle of joy that they were passing back and forth. The dark haired bright-eyed little girl was wrapped in a pink and white blanket, swaddled tightly like they’d been taught in Lamaze class.

 _“She’s perfect.”_ Alison rubbed the infant’s cheek. _“Just look at that little face.”_ She cooed, rocking the baby in her arms. She leaned forward and kissed her tiny button nose.

Emily was certain she’d never been more attracted to Alison in her life. The baby started squirming, letting out quiet sighs and grunts. Her cheeks started to turn red like she was getting ready to give her little lungs a work out.

 _“I think she wants her Mama.”_ Alison passed her back to Emily.

Emily wrapped her arms around her little girl. The baby stopped squirming immediately. She was so tiny. So delicate. She smacked her jaw and looked up at Emily with her large doe eyes. So innocent. So loving.

_“Hey, baby girl. Mama’s right here.”_

The baby immediately settled in her arms. Emily smiled down at her. Alison watched, smiling lovingly at her family.

Alison reached out to put her hand against Emily’s cheek. Emily could feel the heat against her face.

The touch was vivid. It felt like more than a dream. The sensation of a hand against her cheek drew her out of the fantasy.

She could hear the machines in the hospital steadily beeping. She could feel fingers delicately stroking her face.

“Mmm…” Emily smiled as she slowly opened her eyes. “You’re awake.”

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. All she could see was the outline of her face and her wild blonde hair. But something was wrong. Something about the shape of her face was off.

Emily blinked, bearing her eyelids down hard to try and clear the sleep from her eyes. When she opened them back up she wasn’t looking into Alison’s eyes.

Courtney’s gaze was identical to that of a child who was trying to piece a puzzle together. She was wearing Alison’s prom dress and one of the red overcoats from the closet in New York.

Broken bits of what Emily had hallucinated at her apartment when she passed out came back to her.

The blood.

_“Oh, sweetheart, you’re bleeding.”_

The pain.

_“We’re broken, Emily. Our bodies. Our minds. We’re broken. Rotting. Diseased. And this is what happens. This is what happens to people like us.”_

The fear.

_“Stay with me, honey. Just stay with me.”_

Was that a nightmare?

Was she hallucinating again?

Courtney didn’t say anything. She simply stood over her, stroking her cheek. Emily felt a chill wash over her. She couldn’t tell if it was real. She felt like she was back in her bathroom, back at the apartment. Everything from the missing chunk of time came careening back to her.

She felt lightheaded. She closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them back up the monster in front of her would be gone.

She shut her eyelids tightly, squeezing as if she could push away the thoughts in her head. But when she looked, the blonde was still there. Her eyes were slowly navigating the room.

 _“I’ve been here before,”_ Courtney said calmly. _“But it was different.”_

Emily wanted to reach out and punch her. She wanted to tackle her to the floor and tie her up until the police could come and arrest her. Her spirit was willing, but her body was weak. She could feel herself shaking so much that the bed creaked beneath her trembling body. The sheets were covered in her sweat. She wasn’t sure if it was related to the fever or fear.

Courtney cooed quietly, shushing her. She clucked her tongue and shook her head, her eyes gentle with a sort of compassion that Emily had never seen before.

 _“You’re shaking like a leaf.”_ She sounded concerned. _“Oh my sweet girl.”_ Her face was tight, worried. _“I thought I was going to lose you.”_

_“Wha – huh? I…”_

_“Shhh. You need to rest. Just rest.”_ Courtney whispered.

She cupped Emily’s cheek. Emily felt her chest rapidly starting to rise and fall. She felt Courtney’s other hand underneath the sheets slipping underneath her hospital gown, touching her inner thigh.

She tensed up.

 _“Don’t.”_ Emily croaked out.

 _“I tried to help.”_ Her fingers slid up in between her legs. _“I tried to stop it. There was so much blood.”_ She frowned. _“So dirty…”_

Emily jumped when she felt her fingers drift higher, like she was curiously searching for something. She felt a scream building up in her chest. Courtney smiled at her. Her smile was all teeth, like she was a predator getting ready to bite.

_“You’re clean now.”_

Emily heaved out a breath. She thought about the horror she’d gone through hours ago. All the things Courtney said. All the things she thought were happening.

_Is this real?_

Emily jerked her head over, frantically looking for Alison. She was still sleeping in the chair. But something didn’t seem right. She didn’t wake up when the nurse stepped in. Now she was sleeping through Courtney sneaking in?

 _“Al…”_ Before she could get her call out, Courtney slapped her hand over her mouth roughly.

 _“She’s not going to wake up.”_ Courtney hissed, squeezing her inner thigh. _“And if she does you’re going to regret it. If you so much as let out one peep crying for help I’ll slit her throat before you can get your fat pregnant ass out of the bed.”_

Emily bit down on the palm of her hand, her teeth cutting into Courtney’s flesh. Courtney pulled her hand back with a cry.

Courtney ripped her other hand out from underneath Emily’s gown. She lurched forward and latched on to Emily’s wrist, squeezing it tightly. Her expression darkened.

 _“You always did like it rough.”_ Courtney stabbed her fingernails into Emily’s skin.

Emily yelped and shook her hand free of Courtney’s grasp. She was desperate to get to Alison’s side. Something was wrong. She wasn’t waking up.

 _“What did you do to her?”_ Emily shoved the blankets off of her body.

She sat up too quickly. A sharp pain shot through her abdomen. She clutched her stomach and softly cried out. The fear of something happening to her baby caused her heart to start pumping harder in her chest. She felt an airy lightheaded wave pass over her.

 _Not now._ She fought to stay awake.

Courtney saw her tilting uneasily. Her eyes radiated a soft anxious look of sadness. For a split second it actually looked like she cared.

Courtney forced her back down against the bed. Her back hit the mattress hard. She felt it in her spine. The sharp movement radiated into her stomach. She cried out again, but tried to move forward, determined to get to Alison’s side.

Courtney shoved Emily’s arms down against the mattress, pinning her wrists above her head.

 _“No, no.”_ Courtney said it as if she was scolding a child. _“You’re not being a very good mother.”_

Emily struggled, jerking her head from side to side. Her face was burning up. She felt sweat dripping down from the sides of her temples.

 _“Let go of me.”_ Emily kicked her legs. She felt like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

With every motion of her body she could feel a tight pressure in her abdomen. She cringed and groaned. The room around her started spinning, colors swirling in her line of vision.

 _“Emily, stop it. You’re going to hurt yourself.”_ Courtney growled angrily.

 _“Get off of me.”_ Emily snapped. _“What did you do to Alison? I swear to God if you hurt her…”_

 _“Re-lax_. _”_ Courtney drew the word out. _“She’ll be fine in the morning. I just needed her out of the way tonight. A few crushed up sleeping pills in the sugar packets of her coffee isn’t going to kill her.”_ Courtney held her down against the bed, despite her trying to wriggle free. She could see that the brunette was running out of steam. _“You need to stop fighting. You’re in no condition to do this.”_

 _“Courtney, you have to stop this.”_ Emily looked up at her. For the first time _ever_ she pleaded with her. _“Please stop it.”_

 _“Stop what?”_ She asked innocently.

_“We know it’s you. We know you’re torturing us. We know about you and Wilden. About the DNA results. It must have been difficult to waver…to not know that part of your life. We could…maybe you could talk to someone…”_

Courtney interrupted her with a laugh.

 _“Oh, honey, you’re adorable. You don’t know half of what you think you know. You need me.”_ She slipped her hand against Emily’s stomach. _“This little one really deserves a better mother.”_

 _“Don’t you fucking touch my daughter.”_ Emily shoved her away roughly.

She tried to sit up one last time, but all of the drugs in her system overwhelmed her and she fell backwards as the dizziness overtook her. She gripped the side of the mattress, because she felt like if she didn’t hold on to something she was going to fall off the face of the Earth.

 _“Easy, Mama Bear. Wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt your baby girl…”_ Courtney rubbed her thigh.

Emily tried to fight back, but she was exhausted. She stared at Courtney, waiting for the blonde to finish her off...to shove a pillow over her head and suffocate her. Instead, Courtney quietly tried to comfort her.

_“You’re okay, sweet girl.”_

She pulled the blanket up over Emily, keeping her warm hand in place against her inner thigh. Her fingers tickled Emily’s skin, rubbing her and leaving chill-inducing goosebumps against her slick sweaty body.

Emily shivered. She started shaking again. The pain in her stomach was dissipating, but the rest of her body was aching.

The medicine was coming back at her in the worst way. She was starting to lose her sense of consciousness again.

 _“It’s okay. You’re safe now.”_ Courtney’s palm landed gently against her cheek again. She leaned over and put her lips against Emily’s ear. _“I took care of everything.”_ She kissed her cheek, touching her gently, kindly. _“We can finally be a family.”_

 _“Huh?”_ Emily asked drowsily.

Courtney hovered over her, but she was like a disappearing mirage. Emily blinked once and she was gone, but when she blinked again she was there.

She stared at Courtney in confusion, doubting the truth that was staring her in the face. How would she have been able to sneak past her parents in the waiting area? How would she be able to get past the doctors? How did she get her hands on Alison’s prom dress? How could she have drugged Alison?

Not even Courtney had that kind of power.

Or did she?

Maybe she was underestimating her.

An involuntary shudder racked Emily’s body. Her eyes locked on Courtney’s.

 _“Did you kill Wilden?”_ Emily’s voice came out as a whisper.

Courtney smiled, a devious little grin. She lifted her hand and put her index finger against her mouth to shush her. She traced her finger against Emily’s lips and leaned forward, pushing her mouth against Emily’s.

Emily’s instincts screamed at her to push the blonde away, but the drugs in her system were dragging her nervous system down. Everything was shutting down.

 _“He doesn’t know…”_ Courtney breathed softly against her lips. _“He doesn’t understand.”_ She caressed Emily’s leg. _“It was always you and me. We were meant to be.”_

The kiss was hard. Deep and firm. But at the same time there was something subtle and soft in it. She tried to push her head back against the pillow to pull away, but Courtney just followed her, pushing harder. She pinched Emily’s skin, causing the brunette to gasp. When she opened her mouth she felt Courtney’s tongue against hers. It felt like she was choking her with it.

She groaned out in protest, but Courtney didn’t stop. She nibbled Emily’s lip and huffed against her face.

 _“Mmm, you taste divine.”_ She slowed the kiss down. _“Your soul…”_ She batted her eyelids. She looked confused. _“It’s like Heaven on Earth. You’re my divinity, Emily. My salvation.”_

Emily felt woozy. Her head was swimming. She closed her eyes, but she heard Courtney say one last thing before she drifted off again.

_“You’re mine. You’re MY Emily. And I’ll protect you.”_

The same dark abyss that had clenched her soul in her apartment seemed to be drowning her again. She tried clawing her way out.

She was lost in the dark, Courtney’s words echoing in her mind.

When she finally jolted awake she shot up in bed. She was shaking and covered in sweat. She took heaving gasps, trying to catch her breath. Her eyes darted around the room.

Alison was sleeping soundly in the chair next to her bed. There was no trace of anyone else being in the room.

She lifted her hand and flipped her wrist over, looking for traces that Courtney had grabbed her. She didn’t see anything. She slowly lifted her hand up, pressing her fingertips against her lips.

The link between reality and illusion was severed. It was driving her crazy. She had no sense of what was real.

“I’m fucking losing it,” she muttered.

The doctor had mentioned that the fever might play tricks on her mind. But it had felt terrifyingly real.

She laid there in a pile of her own sweat, trying to get her bearings.

Something was nagging her about the dream. Why would Courtney be in Alison’s clothes?

She thought about the clothes they’d found in the house in Buffalo. She hadn’t been able to figure out why someone would recreate Alison’s entire wardrobe, especially if that someone was after _her_.

But what if the clothes weren’t for Alison? What if they were for someone deluded into thinking that she could _be_ Alison?

_“We can finally be a family.”_

Emily shuddered.

“Over my dead body,” she whispered to a phantom that wasn’t there.

At least, she _hoped_ the phantom wasn’t there. Because if it was real...if she was truly seeing Courtney then they were in far more danger than they knew. And Emily didn’t back down from danger. She would protect her girls to the end of the line, which could very well end over her dead body.


	36. Absolute Pressure

* * *

**Chapter 36:**

**Absolute Pressure**

Emily’s fever broke overnight. When she woke up the next morning she felt much better. Alison was still curled up in the chair, sound asleep. Someone had gotten a blanket and put it over her. Emily took a moment to admire the peaceful look on her face.

The early morning light was beaming through the room. She rubbed her eyes. She’d been under the fluorescent lights for so long that the sunlight was making her see spots. She glanced at the room in the light of day. It was smaller than it had seemed last night.

It had been a rough night. She shuddered. The fever was gone. But the chill from her nightmare remained. The image of Courtney in the flashy red dress and matching coat was burned into her memory.

Alison’s prom dress was hanging up on a rack underneath the TV on the wall, right where she’d left it. It didn’t look like it had been touched.

She heard footsteps approaching. She almost lurched out of bed. She expected Courtney to be around every corner.

Her dad appeared in the doorway. He was clutching a cup of coffee, blowing on the steam coming from the top. He yawned and then took a sip as he stepped forward.

He quietly walked over to her bed without saying a word. He leaned over her and kissed her forehead.

“Morning, baby,” he said quietly.

Emily melted back into the mattress. Her father made her feel safe. His lips had left a warm imprint on her forehead.

“Were you and mom here all night?” Emily questioned.

“They have a waiting area for overnighters. Your Ma is still sleeping. We checked in on you periodically to make sure you were doing okay.” He smiled. “I was going to get Alison some breakfast, but I wasn’t sure what she liked and I didn’t want to wake her.”

“She’s awake.” Alison rolled over. She looked at Emily’s dad with a polite expression. “And she likes anything her girlfriend’s father gets for her. Eggs. Fruit bowls. Waffles.” She sat up and smiled at Emily. “I also have a thing for French Toast. Your daughter has spoiled me.”

“Wait until you have one of my world famous omelets.” Wayne slowly stirred his coffee. He pulled the stirrer out and popped it in his mouth to keep it from dripping all over the floor. “You haven’t had _real_ food until you’ve had a Wayne Fields four course breakfast buffet.”

“You going to bring the entire kitchen to the hospital, dad?” Emily reached for the hand control of the bed so she could raise herself into a sitting position.

“Your mother would skin me alive if I dismantled her kitchen and brought it here.” He chuckled. “They should be springing you from the joint today. I’ll make us a feast when we get home.” He rubbed his knuckles against Emily’s cheek. “Your mom and I are going to take care of you two. We’ll make sure this little one gets to the home stretch just fine.”

“You have your endzone dance ready?” Emily asked.

“There’s that trademark Fields Family snark.” He laughed softly. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m tired. But I’m ready to go home.”

“We’re working on that.” He squeezed her hand. “Hang in there.”

“I’m hanging.” Emily squeezed his hand back.

“I’ll be back with breakfast in a few.” He took another sip of coffee.

He let his hand slip away from Emily’s, though Emily could feel him holding on just the slightest bit. He lingered for a few seconds before he walked away.

Alison climbed out of the chair that had been her bed and stretched, raising her arms above her head with a big yawn. Emily watched curiously. The loose fitting clothes hung off of her body, but Emily could _still_ see her curves.

“How the hell do you manage to make sweatpants look sexy?” Emily glanced at her ass.

“It’s a gift.” Alison shrugged. She sauntered over to Emily’s bedside.

Emily had a lot more color in her cheeks. Her eyes were brighter. She still had a slick glow to her skin, but she looked better. Emily moved over as far as she could and Alison squeezed on to the edge of the bed.

“You doing okay?” Alison brushed her fingers through Emily’s hair, tucking a strand of it behind her ear.

“Better than last night.” Emily reached up to touch Alison’s cheek. She caressed her face. It felt so good to feel her skin. “How are _you_ feeling?”

She knew that Alison had been through hell, too. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for her to get the call that she was in the hospital.

“I’m fine.” Alison nervously played with the strings on her gift shop sweatpants. “I can’t believe I slept all night. I tried to stay awake. I wanted to be awake in case you woke up. Did you sleep okay?”

Emily’s brow tensed. She plucked away a piece of medical tape that had somehow gotten stuck to her elbow.

“Not really.” She tucked her hands underneath her baby bump, holding it protectively. “I had weird nightmares.” Her mouth suddenly felt dry. She reached for her water. She took a sip. “And hallucinations. I think I might be seeing things. I don’t know. Everything that happened is so jumbled up in my head. I can’t remember what’s real and what’s not.”

“What exactly is it that you think you saw?” Alison asked.

“Courtney.” Her name tasted like acid on Emily’s tongue.

“When?”

“At the apartment yesterday.” Her throat felt constrained when she thought about being alone and vulnerable. She’d felt Courtney’s fingers all over her. It made her feel unclean. That’s how Courtney made her feel. Dirty. “And then here again last night. I don’t…” She rubbed her eyebrow. “Ali, I don’t know what’s real anymore. She’s fucked with my head so much that I think she’s just permanently in there. I think I might be losing my mind.”

“Or…” Alison chewed her lip.

Or Emily wasn’t crazy. Or it was something worse. There was another possibility. She really _was_ there.

“I don’t think you’re crazy, Em.” She licked her lips. Her face was fixed in an anxious expression. “I think she’s trying to hurt us. She’s trying to break us.”

“None of this makes any sense. I don’t understand. If she wanted to hurt me she could have done it _twice_. I was vulnerable in my apartment. And here, too. If she’s really responsible for everything she could have easily slipped in and finished the job. And if she was after you…” It made her feel physically sick to think about Courtney hurting Alison, “…she could have gotten to you easily while we were both out of it. If she’s doing this I don’t see what her endgame is.”

“She’s insane. Does the endgame really matter?” Alison questioned. “The girl is delusional.”

Emily knew that. She’d known it since the day she met Courtney. She had been naïve to think that she could leave everything in her past behind in Texas.

The day she left town Courtney had accused her of running away. She had tried to convince herself that Courtney wasn’t right. She’d dug her heels in and said she was moving because of her dad’s relocation. But that was only part of it.

Courtney had gotten to her in a way that she didn’t care to admit. She hadn’t realized at the time that she was running to get away from things she didn’t want to deal with. Her pregnancy. Isaac. Courtney. Her life in Texas. She had always been running from it.

She had told herself that Rosewood was a fresh start. But a fresh start didn’t mean disconnecting from the past entirely. It meant learning to cope with it. She knew the sooner she accepted it the sooner she could move forward. As much as she hated it, that meant admitting that they were connected. They always would be.

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you.” Tense little lines formed in Emily’s forehead. “About Courtney. About…everything in Texas.”

“What do you mean?”

“Courtney came after me more than once. I know I told you about the locker room, but that wasn’t the only time.” Emily squirmed in discomfort.

Alison tried to shift her position to let her get better situated. She didn’t realize that the discomfort was emotional, not physical. Emily pulled her closer, gripping her hand tighter. Alison got the memo. She scooted up next to her.

“She did more than try to kiss me. She pushed boundaries. She tried to force herself on me several times. And it was always the same. I froze.” She pursed her lips in confusion. “I can’t stand it when people are harassed, but when it came to myself I let my brain just sweep it under the rug. But I think it’s always been there. I went off on Wilden because of what he did to you…and to all those girls. But I also went off on him because I felt helpless about everything that happened to me in Texas.”

She’d never said any of it out loud, but she’d been drowning for a long time. She just didn’t realize it.

“I always thought that maybe there was something wrong with me…because I didn’t know how to stop it.” Emily peered at her wrist. She could still feel Courtney’s nails digging into her skin.

“Emily…that’s not how it works.” Alison gently put her hand on Emily’s arm. “ _You_ taught me that…after what happened with Wilden…”

“I know.” Emily gave her a weak smile. “I get that. I’m just working through it. Because there is a lot more to work through than I really grasped at the time. I was so conflicted because I felt bad for Courtney. Because I knew she was sick. I saw what her demons did to her. I just…I never thought her demons would be a part of my life here. But that’s what it’s become.”

“I swear if I ever see her I’m going to rip her face off.” Alison’s jaw tightened.

“I wouldn’t want you to. Even after everything she’s done. Believe me, I’m fucking infuriated that she has come after you and my baby. But she belongs in an institution. She needs help.” Her eyes softened in sympathy.

“You know, for a biker babe you sure don’t get in as many brawls as I thought you would.” Alison pulled Emily’s hand up to kiss her knuckles. “You have such a good heart. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much. That you even care about her after what she’s done…”

Alison wouldn’t have stood for it. She was ready to mow the girl down with a car. She knew how Emily felt. Courtney had done to Emily what Wilden had done to her. And Alison felt permanently fucked up because of it. She couldn’t stand the thought of Emily feeling that way. She wanted Courtney to join Wilden in his eternal hell.

“I think she latched on to me because I was the first person in her life she could relate to who showed her sympathy…and the first person she thought would understand. She just didn’t know how to express that. It became an obsession for her. She latched on. And she can’t let go. And until she does I don’t know how I can let go either. Because she’s _everywhere._ ” Emily played with her IV line, trying to unkink it. “Last night wasn’t the first time I saw her.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No. Do you remember the night of the Halloween dance?”

“Do I remember the night you saved me from getting flattened by a giant chainsaw?” Alison asked sarcastically. “Yeah, I remember that.”

“That night in the hospital I had this nightmare…” She trailed off. “Courtney threatened me. She told me that I didn’t deserve my daughter. Then she did something…” Emily put her hand against her stomach. “I had these pains, and suddenly I was bleeding. But when I woke up the baby was fine. I thought it was a nightmare. But it was so vivid. And last night…” She could still feel Courtney’s fingers against her. “I _feel_ her when she’s around me. I could feel her hands on my body…”

 _I’ll murder her. I’ll rip her fucking hair out at the roots…_ Alison’s lips twitched into an angry snarl. Her eyes alternated between hot and cold, whirlwinds of flaming hail. Hot. Cold. Angry. Angrier.

But she didn’t say anything. She knew the importance of letting Emily talk. She also knew that her anger was in vain, because Emily had made her point about wanting Courtney to get help.

“She says all this weird shit. I can’t remember everything.” It was probably a combination of her subconscious trying to protect her _and_ the extreme circumstances she was in when she saw her. “In my apartment…before Hanna found me she kept talking about how we were broken…”

_That bitch is so fucking dead._

Alison gripped her hand, encouraging Emily as she spoke.

“…and then in the same breath she was talking about taking care of me. She says things like how we’re a family and how she’s ‘protecting’ me. It’s like she lives to tear me apart and then piece me back together…like some bloody puzzle or something. I’m like a fucking toy to her.”

She sighed. She was exhausted. She was mentally drained.

“I have all the strength in the world. I can knock out jackasses twice my size. I can wipe the floor with boys on almost any court and hold my breath under water longer than anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve ridden my bike at 120 miles per hour and nothing about it fazes me. I have always been able to take care of myself and everyone around me. I am not afraid of _anything_.” She clucked her tongue. “But Courtney says two words to me…or touches me…and it’s like I lose all sense of myself. It’s like she cuts me off at the ankles, and no matter how hard I fight her she _always_ wins.”

“Well she’s not going to win this time.” _I will destroy her_.

“No, she’s not.” Emily agreed. She cringed. “I have to talk to Isaac. I have to find out if he knows where his sister is.”

“You should tell him just how far she was trying to push you. That would light a fire under his ass.”

“I’m not going to out her to him. I can’t do that. It doesn’t matter what she’s done to me. Her sexuality is _hers_ ,” she replied. “He knows Courtney was a bitch to me. I’m just going to have to lean on that. And I’ll use it to find out as much as I can.”

Alison laced her fingers into Emily’s as a show of support. She didn’t ask questions. She didn’t offer suggestions. She just let Emily process things. That’s what Emily did for her. Emily had let her come to terms with what Ian and Wilden had done to her. She’d learned how to mirror those actions, and what’s more…she’d learned how to care.

She’d been a control freak her entire life. Emily was the first person who had taught her how to let go of that control. The day she’d climbed on the back of Emily’s bike she had changed.

She had learned to listen. She’d learned how to offer support. And that’s exactly what she did when Emily called Isaac a few hours later.

It had taken the brunette a little bit of time to figure out what she was going to say. She had also wanted to wait until it was later in Texas. She didn’t want to wake him up at the crack of dawn.

She would soon find out that he’d never gone to bed.

When he picked up the phone he sounded groggy, but he was excited to hear her voice.

At first he thought it was Alison since Emily was calling from her phone. When Emily said hello his voice went from sleepy to ecstatic.

“She lives.” He breathed a happy sigh of relief.

“Got more lives than a cat.” She felt Alison’s hand against her arm and she glanced at her.

The blonde was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning against her. Her legs were propped up against the back of the chair next to the mattress. She had moved the overbed table with the remnants of Emily’s breakfast on the tray away from the bed to give herself room.

“How are you? The baby?” Isaac asked anxiously.

“We’re both stable. She just has a flair for the dramatic.” Her eyes flickered towards Alison again. “The doctor is putting me on bed rest because she can’t seem to stay put.”

“Sounds like she’s ready to meet her mommy.” Isaac’s voice was light and airy. He was smiling. Emily could tell. “I assume Alison is going to enforce the bed rest since _someone_ I know is stubborn?”

“Yes, Warden DiLaurentis is enforcing the rules.” Emily’s voice was dry.

“And will punish appropriately,” Alison said under her breath with a wicked wink. She caressed Emily’s arm.

Emily smacked her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. It felt good to laugh, but it also put pressure against her sensitive abdominal muscles. She reached over and pinched Alison’s ass, which nearly caused her to fall off the bed. She was unable to keep her squeal of laughter contained.

“Uh…what’s happening there?” Isaac asked.

“The hospital room is causing a little bit of cabin fever.” Emily grasped Alison’s arm to keep her from falling to the floor.

“It certainly sounds like you’re feeling better.”

“I am. I definitely am.”

“What happened?”

Emily explained everything. She told him that the doctors expected her to completely recover and that the baby was going to be fine.

She felt Alison’s fingers threading through hers. Alison knew the hard part of the conversation wasn’t over yet. She knew Emily was getting ready to steer the topic to his family.

Emily appreciated the support. There was no easy way to ask her best friend if he thought his sister could be a stalker and a murderer. It was so weird the way they both knew what Courtney was, but they both tiptoed around it.

“I’m really glad you’re okay, Em.” She heard a light sigh that sounded like the end of a yawn.

Emily glanced at the clock. It was nine o’clock in Texas. She hadn’t expected to wake him up.

“You sound as tired as I am.” Emily prodded jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. “Maybe I should have waited until later to call you.”

“No. It’s fine.” There was a rustling noise. The wind.

Emily cocked her head. Was he outside?

She heard a car horn in the distance.

“Where are you?” she questioned curiously.

“Just…walking. Clearing my head.” There was something strange in his tone.

“You have a tell when you’re lying. I can hear it in your voice.” Emily tapped the edge of the mattress with her fingertips. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” He paused, taking a thoughtful breath. “Maybe. I um…” Another sigh, “I kind of slept on a park bench last night.”

“You _what_? Why? What happened?” Emily stiffened.

Alison felt the tension in Emily’s grip. Her eyes widened in alarm.

“I didn’t want to bother you with this…”

“Dude, come on. I just told you about my placenta in full detail. I’m here for whatever you’ve got going on.”

She didn’t like the idea of him sleeping on a park bench, especially when there were so many unanswered questions about what was going on.

“Man, I really didn’t want to bug you out,” he mumbled. “After Alison called me yesterday I sort of lost it. I blew up at my parents. About Courtney. About you…”

“You didn’t…” Emily let go of Alison’s hand. She reached up and gripped her wrist that was holding the phone, as if pushing the phone closer to her face was going to change things.

“They know I know about the baby.”

“ _What_?”

“I know you wanted me to keep it on the downlow, but I thought you were both going to die. I lost my mind. You know me. I don’t flip my shit very often. But the thought of you being so far away…so helpless…and me being unable to do anything about it…I just…I snapped. I told them Courtney found out and that she told me, so it shouldn’t blow back on you. We got into a huge fight and I bolted. Tried to get in touch with one of my teammates, but he’s apparently visiting his family in Austin. So I just wandered until I ended up at the park. I stayed there last night.”

Images of Isaac alone and vulnerable flashed through her mind. She couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for him to feel so alone. He’d been unable to trust his parents. His sister didn’t care about him. His friends hadn’t answered. And he’d been unable to call her.

She took a moment to process everything. Only one thing mattered to her.

“Are you okay?” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Alison looking eagerly at her.

“I think so.” But he didn’t sound sure. “Feel like I got a lot off of my chest. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I can’t take it back now.” He let out a shaky breath. “You mad?”

“No.” Almost losing her child had given her a new perspective on things. “I never should have asked you to keep it from them in the first place. I shouldn’t have let them intimidate me.”

“I get why you were scared,” he said. “It’s so weird to live in this in-between world where we’re supposed to be adults, but the adults in our lives are acting like petty teenagers.”

Emily let out a sarcastic laugh. But then her tone softened.

“Are you safe?” she asked.

“For now,” he said. “I’m not going home. I’m going to stay with some friends for a few weeks…until I finish up senior year. After that I can go wherever I want. I have to get out of here. My parents and my sister are so fucking toxic. I’m thinking about going out to Chicago to stay with my dad’s parents for the summer. My grandmother already said I could. She’s even got a summer job lined up for me. Then I’ll just make the move to Ohio when the fall semester begins.”

“You decided on Ohio?” She asked.

There was a pause on the line.

“Damn, I didn’t mean to tell you like that.” She could hear the shame in his voice, though he didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. They had been talking about it for weeks. “I really want this. But at the same time I feel like it’s selfish…”

“You should do what you want to do. I’ve told you a million times there is no pressure.”

“I know.” His tone was warm. He appreciated that she was so understanding. “But getting that call from Alison about you…it really made me think about things. I don’t know where my priorities are, but I know where they should be. It’s like…I have two different lives and I can’t live them both. I don’t like the idea of not being close enough to visit. I don’t like the idea of not being there if you guys need something. I want to find a way to come see you, but I don’t know how it will play out once the semester starts and practice kicks into high gear. I want to find a way to make it work. I really do. It’s been running through my head all night long. And I didn’t want to blindside you. I didn’t mean to lay all of this out on you, especially with everything that happened last night…”

_Last night._

The baby.

Courtney.

She’d gotten so distracted by Isaac’s night outside and the revelation about Ohio that she’d completely lost track of why she’d called him in the first place.

Finding out about Courtney was important, but she wanted to make sure he was okay first. The balance had shifted.

“I know what you’re going through. I don’t know what my future looks like either,” she admitted. “It’s great that you want to be there for me, but I don’t want you to forget I’m here for you, too.”

“You just concentrate on getting that little girl here safely. Focus on yourself. I’ll be fine.” There was a buzzing noise and then a faint beep. “Ah, crap. We might get cut off. I’m almost out of juice. I should have turned my phone off to save power overnight, but I wanted to leave it on in case you or Alison needed to get in touch.” His voice sounded distant, like he was pulling the phone away from his ear to look at the screen. After a few seconds it was back to normal. “I’ve got about 5 percent left, but I’ll charge it as soon as I get to work.”

“Before you go I need to know something.” Emily knew she had to speed things along. “Where is Courtney in all of this drama?”

“She wasn’t there last night. She’s still with friends. Nick leaving was hard enough on her, but whatever she’s got going on with our parents really escalated things. As far as I know she hates mom and dad as much as I do. Maybe even more. And it doesn’t help that I was riding her ass about the way she used the pregnancy against me. Last time we saw each other she threatened to gut me with a knife.”

 _Fuck_. Emily could picture her doing it. She wouldn’t put anything past Courtney.

“She never talks to me anymore. She blocked me on socials and I think she’s avoiding me at school. She stopped swimming.”

“She _stopped_ swimming?” The girl lived for swimming.

She’d been such a showboat in the pool. She always made sure that everyone knew she was the best. She’d even been so dedicated that she’d come to practice when she was sick with the flu.

Emily wished she _hadn’t_ been there that day, because the locker room still haunted her.

“I don’t know if I told you, but she lost the anchor position. And she got in trouble for some infighting on the team, so she was on thin ice with the coach. Everything going on at home kind of boiled over there. She’s been so erratic this past month. I don’t know where she is or what she’s doing. I haven’t seen her at her local haunts.”

It unnerved Emily that no one ever seemed to know where Courtney was hiding. Because that meant she could be hiding in the shadows in Rosewood.

She shuddered.

“Em? You still there? Did I lose you?”

 _Almost_. Many times over.

“I’m here.” Emily replied.

“Is there a reason you’re asking about her?”

He was constantly giving her openings to talk to him, but she clammed up every time. All she could think about was Maya’s hand, frozen in time with drug paraphernalia. And the memories she had of her father in his hospital bed. The texts threatening everyone she loved.

“It just freaks me out knowing that she knows about the baby, especially since she’s in the wind somewhere. We have a…sordid history. If she’s threatening _you_ with violence I don’t even want to begin to imagine what she’ll do to me…”

Or what she had already done to her. What she _planned_ to do to her.

“I made it perfectly clear to her that if she ever interferes in our lives again I’ll unleash Holy Hell on her. If she _ever_ touches you or the baby I’ll destroy her.”

It was admirable that he wanted to protect them, but if Courtney was behind everything that was happening to her there was no way he’d be able to stop her.

“More than likely if she gets pissed at anyone it’s going to be me. I’m the one who just blew up what was left of our family,” he said.

“How far do you think she’d be willing to go to get back at us?”

There was a quiet pause. Isaac’s response was soft,

“I won’t let anything happen to you guys. I promise.”

Emily knew it was a promise he wasn’t going to be able to keep. Because he didn’t know everything. He didn’t know what his sister was doing. Courtney couldn’t be controlled.

“We got this.” He was hopeful. His positive nature is something she loved about him. He’d always been a dreamer. Since the day she’d caught him recreating _The Princess and the Frog_ in real life she’d known that he had unwavering optimism. She wanted her daughter to inherit that. She wanted her to see the good in the world. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. And you’ve got Alison by your side and me in your corner. We can handle our business.”

“True.” Emily chuckled. Her kid already had a line of protectors ready to do anything for her. “But there’s more to it than that. I feel like in the true spirit of teamwork you should probably know all of the plays…” She heard the other end of the line crackling and then an air of silence. “Isaac?”

All of the background noise had faded. She pulled the phone away from her ear to see if the call was still connected. She heard him cut back in mid-sentence.

“…can’t hear…my phone…dying.” There was another crackle and then, “…Emily?” and then total silence again.

Alison’s phone beeped at her. The call had disconnected. Emily lowered the phone.

“Well?” Alison asked.

“His phone died.” She held Alison’s phone out to her. “His family knows that he found out about the pregnancy.”

“Well, this day keeps getting better and better.” She uttered sarcastically. “Are his parents going to come after you now, too?”

“I don’t know. I think they’ve got their hands full with their own kids. Isaac apparently slept on a park bench last night.”

“Why?”

“Because he told his parents to fuck off and then left home.”

 _Good for him._ Alison thought in approval. There had been times she wanted to run away from her family, too.

“And Courtney?”

“He doesn’t know where she is.” Emily shoved a pillow behind her back, trying to get comfortable. “His family is in shambles right now.”

“Could one of those shambles be here in Rosewood?”

“I…”

Emily’s hospital door creaked open. Alison leaped off the edge of the bed and grabbed the metal covering to Emily’s food tray. She held it up, ready to use it as a weapon. Emily knew she was trying to protect her, but it was so ridiculous that it was cute.

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they saw a curly headed woman in scrubs backing into the room wheeling a cart. Alison put the tray cover down and exchanged a look with the brunette.

The woman wiggled the cart through the doorway and turned around.

“Hey, sweetie.” She walked over to Emily, searching for her ID bracelet. “Your doctor ordered an ultrasound to make sure everything looks good before your discharge.”

She scanned the barcode on Emily’s bracelet with a little black scanner. Then she wheeled the cart over to Emily’s bed. She flipped open a large bulky laptop and reached for the gel sitting in a little pocket on the side.

She had Emily roll down her blanket and pull her gown up. She spread the gel on her stomach. The second the probe touched her skin Emily felt the baby springing to life. It’s almost like she’d felt the chill and was exclaiming, _“That’s cold!”_

Alison craned her neck trying to see the ultrasound images. The ultrasonographer smiled and accommodated her by flipping the screen towards them with her free hand. Her other hand rolled the probe over Emily’s round belly.

“Looks like I woke her up,” the ultrasongrapher chuckled.

“How is everything?” Emily focused in on the screen.

Every so often she caught a glimpse of her daughter’s fingers or her nose. She was moving a lot. It was a great sign. It made Emily and Alison feel much better about everything.

“No excess bleeding.” She gently slid the probe around. “Baby looks happy and healthy. And she has excellent dance moves.”

Emily reached for Alison’s hand as they watched the little girl on the screen. They had learned to appreciate the precious moments. They had also unfortunately come to expect something to come in and ruin the happy times.

Life didn’t disappoint.

Alison’s phone chimed just as the ultrasound was being finished up. She glanced at her screen. Alison’s mouth twisted into a concerned frown. When she looked up her eyes were fraught with anticipation.

She subtly slipped Emily her phone. The message from the anonymous number made her stomach sink.

**_If you clue baby-daddy in I’ll take him out. Don’t test me._ **

The most disturbing thing wasn’t the message itself, but the fact that it was sent to _Alison’s_ phone. Who could have possibly figured out that they were talking to Isaac? Caleb had put software on Alison’s phone that pretty much created a firewall so no one could hack it.

There were only two explanations that Emily could think of. Someone had hacked Isaac’s phone. Or…someone was listening.

“Everything looks great.” The cheery woman in scrubs drew Emily’s attention away from the phone. “The inflammation in your placenta should go down with the medications and the bed rest. And your little one is just fine. She looks very comfortable in there. Safe from the big bad world.” She laughed.

Emily and Alison didn’t laugh. She was too close to the truth for comfort. They knew that as long as there was someone out there who wanted to hurt them the baby would never be safe from the big bad world.

* * *

Three weeks into her bed rest Emily was starting to get restless. She had honored her mother’s request to come home, mostly because going back into her apartment had triggered horrible memories of what had happened on prom night.

She felt strange going back to pick up some of her things. While she was in the hospital her mother had cleaned the place from top to bottom. The smell of the bleach was overwhelming, but Emily knew she had to use it to get the blood stains out. She was grateful her mother had done it. She didn’t want Alison to see it. She felt like the blonde had been traumatized enough.

She’d searched for her necklace, but she couldn’t find it. Her mom didn’t seem to know anything about it. Emily stared at the open hole in the sink, wondering if it had been knocked down the drain. She also worried about it being something more nefarious. Her worry only intensified when Alison told her she couldn’t find her bracelet either.

Alison confronted Noel at school. She hadn’t been subtle in the confrontation at all. She’d burst into the boy’s locker room when he was alone. She threw her math book at his head to get his attention. He’d been in nothing but a towel. The math book hit him so hard that she saw water droplets from his wet hair dribble to the floor.

Noel had gotten pissed at first, but when he spun around and saw that it was her he’d immediately changed his tune.

Instead of yelling at her the first thing he did was ask how Emily was doing.

 _“She’s fine, no thanks to you.”_ Alison had backed him against his locker, her teeth bared angrily.

When she looked at Noel she saw the very reason that Wilden had nearly killed her in New York. He was complicit.

_“Listen, I’m sure Emily told you…”_

She’d lifted her hand and smacked him hard across the cheek, so much so that it had left a stinging sensation in her palm. Her hit had left a large red welt against his jaw. Her fingernails had torn into his skin.

_“If you don’t tell me everything you know I am going to slam your dick in a locker so hard that it falls off.”_

He’d recounted everything he’d told Emily. He promised Alison he didn’t know anything more. He’d explained that his future was on the line. He said he’d had no choice.

It wasn’t enough for Alison.

She was beyond pissed off at him. She’d forced him towards the exit and snatched his towel before shoving him through it, forcing him out into the hallway nude. He’d had to snatch a garbage bag and use it to cover himself.

When he got sent to the principal for indecent exposure he’d lied and told him it was his idea of a senior prank. He didn’t dare piss off Alison anymore.

Emily chided her for going up against Noel by herself, though she was thoroughly impressed with her actions.

Things settled after a few days.

The texts had stopped. Everything had stopped. The last message they got was the one warning them to keep Isaac out of it.

It was hard for Emily to shut him out, but she did…for his own protection. She was very careful to keep their conversations directed towards the baby and nothing else.

Things changed for her in a very dramatic way. Her parents hovered, which she expected. Alison jumped every time Emily moved, fussing over her and nagging her. Emily side-eyed her a lot, but she let her do her thing.

The doctor had cleared her to keep working part time, as long as she was on desk duty. Going to school was out of the question because of the amount of walking in between classes and the structure of the hard desk set ups.

She was able to virtually attend her classes. The girls helped by keeping her up on what was going on. The teachers arranged for her to take her exams from home with a proctor.

Alison was miserable without her. She called her every day at lunch. She spent a lot of time texting her. She was worried Emily would go into labor while she wasn’t around to help.

At work, the boys were diligent about making sure she stayed behind the front desk answering phones and doing work on the client database. She was thankful just to be able to get out of the house, so she didn’t give them shit for pampering her.

The last leg of the pregnancy was turning out to be the hardest part. Her back constantly hurt. She could never get comfortable. She had to pee all the time. She couldn’t sleep at night. The baby kicked her incessantly. It was tough, but Emily was tougher. She powered through it.

She did her best to pay attention in her virtual classes. It wasn’t always easy to stay focused. A little jab in her side or the sudden urge of needing to pee were not easy distractions to ignore.

Half the time when she was supposed to be listening to class lectures she was staring at her stomach, watching her child’s alien-like movements. And the rest of the time she was glued to her replacement phone, which her father had gotten for her after they realized that part of her old phone had literally been flushed away, down the toilet.

A message from Alison popped up.

**_School is torture without you. I hate it here._ **

Alison’s snarky texts were the highlight of her day. She smiled.

**_Two more weeks. Just keep your eyes on the prize._ **

**_YOU’RE my prize._** She followed it with a string of emojis with heart-eyes. **_How is my favorite girl?_**

 ** _Bloated. Swollen feet. Swollen face. Swollen everything. Ya’know, sexy._** She jazzed the message up with a winking-face emoji.

 ** _Ohhh. Send newds._** Followed by a peach emoji.

Emily chuckled. She pulled her shirt up and put her fingers against her stomach. She snapped a picture and sent it to her.

Alison’s response was just a bunch of random letters and a sweating emoji next to a fire.

**_SKDHGESKFLNSLK. You tease! Gaaaah, dying here!_ **

**_Wtf was that? Did you just have a stroke?_ **

**_About to. This class is killing me. I need cute baby antics to get me thru._ **

**_She kicked my spleen about five minutes ago._ **

**_Awwww, adorable. Tell me more. I feel like I’m missing everything._ **

**_You saw me 3 hours ago when you came by for breakfast…_ **

**_3 loooong hours ago._ **

**_You shouldn’t be texting in class._ **

**_What are they going to do? Withhold my diploma? They want me out of here just as much as I want to get out of here. Now I demand more baby content._ **

**_You love her more than me._** She added a grinning emoji.

**_I love you both more than anything. So, what other milestones has she reached? Is she rolling over yet?_ **

**_Milestones?_** Emily snorted out a laugh. **_What, you expect she’s just walked out of my vagina and is graduating medical school now?_**

**_EMILY VIOLET FIELDS! DO NOT TOY WITH MY HEART! Our little girl…a DOCTOR?!_ **

**_Ali, pay attention in class._ **

**_I shall. But alas, my heart will be with you, my love._ **

**_You’re so fucking weird. I love you, too._ **

She put her phone away and opened an assignment from her Trig teacher. As she worked through the math problems she thought about how fast the school year had gone.

Her senior year hadn’t gone anything like she was anticipating it would. She had known it was going to be a ride. She just didn’t know how crazy it was going to be.

After she finished her math she started scrolling through her phone again. She went to the image gallery. All of her images had been saved in the cloud, so when she went into her account on the replacement phone it downloaded everything.

Most of the photos were of nature. And sunsets. She loved sunsets. She had dozens of pictures of Alison. She was a natural beauty. Emily liked capturing her in all different kinds of light. She had some candid, like her peering at the kissing rock in thought. She had several of her in front of the piano, her eyes narrow in concentration as her fingers struck the keys.

She swiped through photos of Alison at the park, Alison at school, Alison in her bedroom. She even had one of Alison propped up on her bike. She’d taken it one day after school. Alison had been waiting on her to take her home that day.

She had tons of selfies of them. She also had a cute little photoshoot of the two of them on her bike. Toby had taken the pictures after they’d gone on a ride through the city.

There were quite a few pictures of Alison nuzzling up to her belly. She had a soft look of adoration in her eyes that Emily wanted her daughter to see one day. There were pictures of Alison’s cheek against her stomach, listening for her movements. There were pictures of her fondly kissing and talking to the baby. Emily had even snapped a picture one night after Alison fell asleep singing to her. She had video of the soft lullaby, too.

Emily flipped through the ultrasound images she had of her child. From the very first blur that looked like a blob to the most recent where every one of her little features were distinguishable. It pulled at her heartstrings. Tears prickled the corners of her eyes.

Her child.

Her baby.

Her daughter.

She was going to meet her in just a few short weeks.

She reached down and touched her stomach. When she felt her kick nothing else in the world mattered. Her baby girl had her heart. It made everything worth it. The nausea. The pain. The complete and utter fear. _Everything._

She continued to root through her pictures. She had a few of Isaac. She found herself curiously looking at him and trying to imagine what their daughter would inherit from him.

She kept scrolling. She came across a picture of Courtney. It made her feel physically ill. She deleted it immediately.

She found a few pictures of her bike when it was just a mere pile of scrap metal. Her mom had taken some snapshots of Emily working on the bike with her dad.

She scanned through pictures she’d taken back in San Antonio. She laughed when she came across one of Nick in his biker attire. He looked like a badass, all decked out in his leather and his sleek black helmet and combat boots.

The attire wasn’t the funny part of the photo. The funny part of the photo was the fact that he was running away from a large goose that was honking angrily at him.

It had been the day she’d gone to get her tattoo. They’d stopped at a lake after watching a duck and her ducklings cross the road. They’d gone out to look at the birds. That’s when the goose had come flying out of nowhere. It had scared the shit out of him. Emily had ended up on the ground laughing her ass off. Nick had ended up in a tree throwing pinecones at the angry thing, calling it _“a fuckin’ demon bird.”_

After the series of “Nick versus the demon bird” she came across some old pictures of her bike in different stages of restoration.

She missed going on long rides. She was looking forward to being able to get back out on the road after the baby was born.

Her bike had been her first baby. Her dad had helped her nurture it. She’d learned a lot piecing together the hump of scrap metal. She wondered if parenting would be the same. Only instead of installing an inline-four cylinder engine she would be instilling wisdom and kindness that would live on forever.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. Isaac’s number appeared on the screen. She always clenched up when he called, mainly because she felt like she was back to lying to him again. Though technically she wasn’t _lying_ to him. She was withholding the truth from him about his sister. Or at least, what she _thought_ was the truth.

“What’s up, Cowboy?” she answered.

“How’s it hanging, Amishville?” he retorted.

“Good.” Emily laughed. “I’m taking a break from school work.”

“Ironic. I’m on my way _to_ school.”

“How is the weather there?”

She wasn’t talking about the actual weather, and he knew it.

She was asking about the tempers in his household.

“Still a little on the hot side. I’m still at my friend’s place. My mom has called a few times. They want me to come home.” The tone in his voice suggested he would not be doing that. “How did the appointment go?”

“Good.” Emily propped herself up on a wall of pillows that Alison had created before leaving for school. She put the phone down and put him on speaker. “She’s moving and slowly getting into position. She’s not quite there yet, but the doctors are confident she’s going to turn.”

“And the placenta thing?”

“They’re keeping an eye on it. The delivery could be a higher risk than normal. There could be some complications and excess bleeding, but they’re watching it very carefully. They said since I’m so young the complications are pretty minimal.”

She reached for a tub of cocoa butter beside her bed. She had been going through it like crazy to help her skin from cracking and drying. She was hoping it would help with stretchmarks.

“You been feeling okay?” His breathing pattern picked up. He was hustling to get to school.

“Much better since I finished the antibiotics.” She popped the top off of the cocoa butter and globbed it on to her fingers before splaying it out against her stomach.

“Nurse Alison being strict?”

Emily stifled a laugh. If by “strict” he meant not letting her do any of the work when they were in bed together she was downright authoritarian.

“I follow her orders.” She tried to keep from bursting into laughter.

“Did she tell you I snapped at her the night you went to the hospital?”

Emily tilted her head in intrigue. She hadn’t heard anything about their conversation that night.

“No.”

It was surprising, because at the very start of their relationship Alison would have done anything to paint him in a negative light. She had not been his biggest fan.

“She was probably more worried about you than she was focused on me being an asshole. It was our first official fight, I think.” He tried to make light of it.

“Second if you count showing up on Valentine’s Day.”

“God, I still can’t believe I did that.” She could _hear_ him cringing. “That was _such_ a dick move. I was _so_ convinced that a grand gesture would woo you…”

“Still saying _woo_ , huh?” She cleaned her fingers off and admired her glowing stomach.

“Woo hoo,” he said, less enthusiastically as he used to say it, but she could hear him smiling. “You know what’s funny to me is I thought that going back to friends was the weirdest thing we were dealing with. I had no idea we’d be here.”

“Funny how things change.” Emily glanced out her window. From the angle of her bed she could see the corner of Alison’s window.

“Funny how things change _us_.” She heard him suck in a gust of air. “I’ve been wondering about something…about the baby.”

“Yeah?”

“If I chose not to be involved…and I’m not saying I don’t want to be…” He quickly added. “But if I _did_ , what would you tell her about me?”

Emily had to think about it. She knew there would be a conversation with her daughter one day. She just assumed she’d have plenty of time to figure out what she was going to say.

“I’d tell her that she was born out of love, and that her dad wanted the best possible life for her. And that he gave her that life by loving her enough to put her in the hands of two incredible mothers…and that he was mindful of what he was giving all three of them.”

Isaac exhaled quietly. Emily could tell it meant a lot to him.

“And if I did want to be involved? What then?”

“Then we’d figure it out as we went along.”

“It’s hard, because I see what you and Alison have, and I don’t want to cause waves there.”

“Alison and I have talked about it. This is your choice.”

“Yeah, and a lot is going in to it. The distance. Your family unit. _My_ family.” He grumbled. “I can run, but Courtney and my parents are a part of my life, and I don’t want this baby to be a part of theirs.”

“I get that.” She wanted to disagree with him. She wanted to tell him that they’d figure something out. But she didn’t trust his family.

“I’ve been trying to think of a happy medium. I know that sounds kind of jacked up since there is a kid involved. Like…it should be all or nothing, right? But then I got to thinking…families are nontraditional. And it doesn’t always have to mean what we think it means. Like…you remember my buddy Marco? He was two years ahead of us in school.”

“Yeah. The Running Back. The one who was scouted by the Texas Longhorn Football Program.”

“His best friend lives out there. She’s a few years older. She’s bi, and she and her wife were looking to start a family. They asked him to donate his...manly _stuff_. He ended up doing it. When I talked to him he said he really liked the idea of helping two people he cared about start a family.”

“Wow.” She smiled.

“I’m not saying that’s what we’ve been reduced to. Just a donor or whatever. Because even though it might not have meant the same thing to you…when we were together…when we…did the things that got you pregnant…” He tried to tread lightly. “It wasn’t just about sex. I want you to know that.”

“I know,” Emily replied softly. “And what we had…our friendship…it _did_ mean something. I want you to know _that_. It’s not like I didn’t like you.”

“I _knew_ it.” He feigned a gasp. “It was my devastatingly handsome good looks, wasn’t it?”

They both laughed.

“It was your _really_ nerdy jokes.”

“Such a twist ending. Never would have thought that Princess Lotte would swoop in and steal Prince Naveen’s endgame.” He mumbled.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” He chuckled. “Just a _Princess and the Frog_ thing. Promise me you’ll show it to her when she’s old enough.”

“I will.” Emily nodded. “So…what exactly happened with Marco and his friends?”

“The kid is about six months old now. He loves the little dude. He visits and stuff. He’s around. Kind of like an uncle. They have talked about what they’re going to tell him when he’s old enough. The girls are his parents. Marco is not tied to him because he has to be. It just worked out because he wanted to be in his friends’ lives and he wanted the kid to have a cool baller uncle to look up to. He says it works for them. I was thinking…maybe we can find something that works for us.”

He waited for Emily’s response, but she was quietly processing in thought.

“It…it wouldn’t be like…a custody thing or anything. And there’s no pressure. I just thought…I’d be cool with getting to know her. Visiting sometimes. Just hanging out. All of us. You’re one of my best friends. I want to get to know Alison better, too. I don’t know exactly what my schedule is going to look like, but I want to make time for you three. You’re pretty much the only family I’ve got left.”

Her thoughts turned to Courtney. Her stomach tensed at the thought of her.

“It would be cool with me if you visited.” Emily said.

“Once I get settled out in Chicago with my grandparents I’ll be working, and I can send you money for her.”

“You don’t have to. Just being our friend is good enough. I don’t want you to be a bank account. I can’t take any more money from you.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to do this on your own either, financially at least. And it wouldn’t be for _you_. It would be for _her._ For like…diapers and clothes. Or just…things she might need. I told you…I want to help. Responsibility is a big deal to me.”

It was honorable. It was so very like him.

“Seriously,” he said. “If there is anything I can do…”

The one thing she needed him to do was the one thing she couldn’t ask him to do: solve the issue with Courtney.

“The only thing I’m focused on right now is getting this little girl here safely.” The love she had in her voice was like nothing he’d ever heard before. “All that matters to me is holding her in my arms and knowing that she’s safe and happy and healthy.”

There was a beat of silence, a moment for Isaac to take in the tone of love she was emitting. Then he softly broke the quiet air.

“You’re going to be an incredible mother, Emily.”

“I hope so.” She smiled, laying her palm across her stomach.

She heard the wind whooshing into the receiver of his phone. She could also hear background noise as he got closer to school.

“Hey, so…I’ve got to ask you something. And I want complete and total honesty.” He slowed his pace.

“That’s our policy.”

“It’s about Courtney,” he said carefully. Emily tried not to clam up. “You were asking about her a few weeks ago.”

“Yeah…I was just emotional being in the hospital and everything…” She tried to think on her feet.

“You’ve asked before, too. And I don’t think you would have brought it up for no reason.” He gave her an opening to respond. When she didn’t he quietly continued, “I didn’t know back then how bad things were between you two. I didn’t know she was doing things to hurt you, too. But I know now. And that changes things. Knowing what I know…straight up, I’m worried. I haven’t seen her in two weeks. My parents don’t talk to her. And Nick hasn’t heard from her either.”

Emily’s continued silence spoke volumes. He sighed.

“I’ve asked around at school. One of the girls she hangs out with says she’s just avoiding everyone. She insists that Courtney is staying with her. But I think she’s covering for her. I don’t know why. Maybe Courtney told her some bullshit about what was happening at home. Maybe she thinks she’s helping her. But I haven’t _physically_ seen her in weeks.”

“Oh?” She tried to keep her voice from coming out strained.

He picked up on her tension.

“Emily I need to know…do you think she’s a danger to you and the baby? Because if she is I’ll do something about it. I don’t care what kind of drama it causes between me and my folks. If I have to go against them I will. If she’s gone off the rails I’ll go to the cops if I have to. I’ll tell them she’s missing and that I think she’s a danger to herself and to others. Let them look into it. I may not be able to do a lot for you right now, but I _can_ do this.”

The flashes of Maya’s hand after she’d been drugged and her father’s blood-drained face after his heart attack were swimming through her head. The threat she got about Isaac’s life was pretty specific.

_“ **If you clue baby-daddy in I’ll take him out. Don’t test me.”**_

She couldn’t handle it if he ended up a victim, too.

“I can’t fix the past, but I _can_ make sure that she doesn’t do anything to you in the future. I just want to protect you,” he said.

“I know.” Emily slid down against her wall of pillows. “I get that.” She swallowed hard. She was so paranoid that she was worried about their call being bugged. How far was the person after her willing to go? “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“We used to be able to tell each other everything,” he said sadly.

“I kind of blew that up with the whole baby thing.”

“You realize I don’t blame you for that, right? Everything that happened to us just spiraled. It hurt at the time, but I think sometimes we have to have our hearts broken to understand what really matters in life. It sucks, but at the same time we get to put ourselves back together however we want.” Sometimes he was wise beyond his years. “We’ll find our footing again one day.”

 _“Yo, Isaac!”_ Someone in the background shouted.

“I’ve got to go. But I’ll check in later.”

She heard him addressing his friends before he told her a quiet goodbye.

She felt uneasy after getting off the phone with him. She was concerned about his safety. If he started to pry it could get him killed. Suddenly, she hated that he was thousands of miles away.

Her phone jingled in her hand.

“I’m popular this morning.” She laughed to herself.

She wasn’t surprised when she saw Alison requesting to video chat with her. It was almost lunch time. They chatted every day at lunch.

Emily accepted the call.

“Hey.” Emily winked at her when she saw her beautiful face on the screen.

“Hey, Boo.” She smiled.

“Boo?” Emily snickered.

“I was trying it out.” Alison shrugged. She leaned into the camera. “How is my favorite little Bean doing?”

“Jumping like crazy.” Emily moved the phone down to show Alison her stomach.

She was letting the cocoa butter dry. Every so often there was a little wave of moment.

“Aw, hi Bean!” Alison exclaimed enthusiastically. “You be good for your mama!”

Emily picked the phone back up and aimed the camera at her face. She could see her facial profile in the smaller box on her screen. She looked _so_ bloated.

“How is her mama? What are you up to?” Alison smiled.

“Nothing. Just got off the phone with Isaac.”

“How are things in the Giddy-up state?” She tried to do a country accent, but it came off sharp and twangy. It made Emily laugh.

“He’s fine,” she said.

She rolled her finger over the back of her phone and made a face. She wanted to tell Alison about her conversation with Isaac, but she didn’t think it was a good idea with Alison in such a public setting. She’d catch her up on it after school.

“I’ll recap everything when I pick you up this afternoon.”

Alison’s lips curved downwards into a concerned frown,

“As much as I love the Harley…”

“Honda.” Emily corrected her.

“Whatever.” Alison replied flippantly. “As much as I love the bike I will strangle you if you ride it while you’re supposed to be on bed rest.”

Alison had been very picky about Emily’s activity level after she’d gotten out of the hospital. Emily had to have the doctor explain to her that “bed rest” didn’t mean she had to be confined to a bed all day and night until the birth, but that she needed to limit activities.

“I’m borrowing my parent’s car. Not exactly a thrilling ride, but it’s what we’ve got. Doc okayed it. Short rides in the boring-mobile are fine.” Emily laughed. “What time does your science lab end?”

“4:30.”

 _“Hey, is that Emily?”_ Emily heard Hanna’s voice off-screen. _“Did you tell her yet?”_

“Tell me what?” Emily asked.

She saw Alison bat Hanna away from the screen. They both laughed.

“I…kind of did something.” Alison gritted her teeth, her face scrunching up in guilt.

“Oh no...”

“I want to throw you a baby shower…”

Emily groaned under her breath.

“Ali,” she uttered with a warning tone, “I already told you I didn’t want to. It’s just not my style.”

“Okay, but hear me out.” Alison raised her hand in a diplomatic fashion. “People would buy you stuff.”

That was it. That was her argument.

“I don’t want our friends to feel obligated…”

“They _want_ to. _Please_?” Alison begged. “And you can’t say no because I’ve already planned it.”

Emily lowered her head, half laughing, half sighing. Alison knew _exactly_ how to get her way. She reached up and gripped the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

“Fine.” Emily relented. “But no cheesy games. No ‘guessing the candybar melted in a diaper’ or silly trivia.”

Alison shrieked in excitement.

“Yes!” She exclaimed triumphantly.

 _“She said yes?”_ Hanna asked.

 _“I told you she would cave. Aria, you owe me five bucks.”_ Spencer’s voice cut in.

 _“I’ll deduct it from the shopping trip this afternoon.”_ Aria replied.

They immediately launched into their plans.

The noise in the cafeteria slowly started to drown out Alison’s conversation with Emily, so she took the call outside.

“The girls got your final Trig assignment and I’ve got you covered in English. How are you doing as far as keeping up in all your classes goes? Do I need to bribe any teachers? Or intimidate them?” Alison asked.

“You are terrifying sometimes, you know that?” Emily laughed.

“Only to the people I dislike.” She reminded her.

“I’m doing fine with the homeschooling. Every so often mom barges in with freshly baked snacks and insists on playing the role of my teacher. I just let her do it. It makes her feel like she’s special.”

“You’re a good daughter.” Alison smiled at the screen. Emily’s cheeks were glowing. “And an amazing girlfriend. I hope that your mom knows how amazing you are.”

“She’d be more receptive if I was doing better in math.”

“You’re trying. That’s all that’s important.”

“It’s a little more important than that. It’s my entire high school career. The woman is using batches of apples to teach me trigonometry. It’s torture.”

“We have ideas that will distract her long enough to give you a break. We want her involved in the baby shower.”

“You have free reign to do what you want as long as you keep it small and quiet. I don’t want a big production. Not with what we’ve been dealing with.” Emily kept her voice low. “We’ve got some things to talk about, but I’d rather talk to you when I pick you up.”

“You really are a tease…making me wait,” Alison said with a frown.

“You _like_ it when I make you wait.” Emily winked, a smirk on her face.

 _“TMI.”_ Mike gagged from somewhere in the background.

“Where the hell did you come from?” Alison spun around in surprise.

“My mom says I’m an angel that fell from Heaven.” He grinned, popping up behind Alison. “Hi, Emily.”

“Hey, Mike.”

“Emily!” Her mother called from downstairs. “Are you ready for me yet?”

“I’ve got to go. Bushels of apples await me,” Emily said with a sarcastic eye roll.

“Love you.” Alison smiled sweetly.

“Love you, too. See you at 4:30.”

Alison sighed and lowered her phone after the call cut off. She had really missed having Emily at school, but the girls had been a helpful distraction. They’d been planning Emily’s baby shower all week.

Aria and Hanna were working on the decorations. Spencer and Mona had been burned out after decorating for the prom.

“Chin up, blondie.” He nudged her chin playfully. “We’ve got a baby shower to plan. I’m thinking...fireworks.” He held his palms up and made a grand gesture in the air.

“I will light _you_ on fire. Don’t even think about it.”

“Challenge accepted.”

She reached out to smack him on the shoulder, but he was already out of her reach, sprinting towards the cafeteria.

She chased after him. When she walked back into the school building she narrowly missed the person who had been watching from the glass hallway overlooking the courtyard.

The _Rosewood Sharks_ hoodie was pulled tight, obscuring a face that she might have recognized.

Alison rushed through the lunch crowd to meet up with the girls. The person in the hoodie went in the opposite direction. A phone buzzed from inside the front pocket of the sweatshirt.

The screen showed one unread message.

**_Where are you?_ **

The tone of it was annoying. Things had escalated since Wilden’s death. Things had changed. Emily wasn’t as easy to get to anymore, not since she’d gotten home from the hospital. It had complicated everything.

**_School._ **

The reply was curt. It was bound to start a fight. Tensions were mounting.

**_Why don’t I believe you?_ **

Instead of answering, a finger curled against the side of the phone and shut the screen off. An angry hand shoved it into the front hoodie pocket.

As Alison ate her lunch with her friends there was a person plotting against her outside in a black sedan. The car was parked strategically in a lot off-campus, so campus security wouldn’t come knocking.

The glove compartment popped open. A hand reached in and pulled out a pair of black gloves and a white linen rag. There was a rustling noise and then a newly gloved hand dug out a brown glass bottle. The label had been torn off.

Underneath the bottle there was a brand new car registration. The name _C. Maxwell_ stood out in bold letters on the paper. Underneath it was a letter with a handwritten return address from Darren Wilden.

A pair of eyes landed on the papers. The smooth leather-clad fingertips traced the outline of the envelope. It was weird seeing Darren’s handwriting now.

Family was a strange thing. Family you didn’t even know you had was even stranger. They had _just_ found each other.

The hefty sum of money their father Elliott had left them was supposed to be split between them, but Darren’s legal troubles had posed a challenge. They couldn’t access his share of the money without alerting authorities without the illegal accounts being exposed.

It was a moot point now.

The glove compartment was slammed shut so forcefully that the car lurched against the pavement. The glass bottle rolled off of the passenger’s seat, but was caught before it fell on to the floorboard. Fortunately it was sealed shut.

_Don’t get ahead of yourself._

Alison wouldn’t be in her science lab for another five hours. There was no use in getting worked up. It was important to stay focused.

_Patience._

Though it was hard to be patient. It felt like the moment would never come. It had been _months_.

It had started out entirely different, but the plan took a hard turn, deviating after Wilden’s death.

The gloved hands clutched the steering wheel, leather squeaking against the thick material. The gun underneath the seat felt like it was calling out, begging to be used. If only they weren’t at school. If only there were no witnesses. There were only two bullets for two people.

Instead, patience won out.

Hours slowly ticked by, but things were falling into place.

After school let out students trickled out. Alison wasn’t with them. Of course Alison wouldn’t be with them. She had her science lab. And Emily would be there soon.

After the parking lot started to clear out and the buses disappeared the patient driver reached for the dark glass bottle and the rag. The driver’s side door slowly opened.

* * *

Inside the school’s science lab only a few students remained. Alison was among them. They finished up their labs independently.

Alison was staring at a beaker with green liquid in it, her brows furrowed in concentration. She adjusted the clear safety goggles on her face and wrote down her findings. She was taking her time with the assignment. She was so focused that she didn’t see the last student walk out.

At 4:10, there was a quiet hissing noise that came from the ceiling in the furthest corner of the room. There was a tiny hole with a hose attached to a canister feeding gas into the room.

At 4:15, the teacher got an alert on his phone about his car being towed. The text claimed to be from the towing company, but it was really from a burner phone. The same burner phone that had called for the tow-truck in the first place.

He told Alison he had to step out. Alison was almost done. She said she was right behind him as she was exposing of the corrosive materials.

Two minutes later she was packing up. As she was putting her remaining books in her bag a strange feeling washed over her. The room seemed to be closing in on her.

She gripped the edge of the table, knocking her pen to the floor. As she was bending over to pick it up she was struck by a sudden wave of dizziness. She grasped the table and tried to steady herself.

The lights clicked off. She shot upright and tried to stand, but she was out of breath for some reason. Her lungs didn’t seem to want to move.

In a panic, she reached for her phone, pulling up Emily’s number. The phone looked too large in her hand. The screen was distorted.

She heard movement, but she couldn’t see anything in the dark. The only light in the shadows was the glow emitting from her screen. Her finger was unsteady as she swiped against it.

**_In science lab. Can’t breathe. Something not right…_ **

Her hand went numb. She dropped her phone. It took every ounce of strength she had to stay upright.

She felt a rough pair of arms grasp her from behind. She instinctively opened her mouth to scream, but something covered her face. As she inhaled, something sweet hit her taste buds.

She threw her elbow back, striking her attacker in the ribs. Her hand smacked against a gas mask on the person’s face.

She tried to lurch forward to get away, but the chloroform acted fast. She toppled on her feet as her vision started to fade. She hit her head on the table before collapsing against the floor.

She groaned as the masked intruder grabbed her feet and pulled her towards the gas being poured into the room.

“Emily…” she uttered in her unconsciousness.

The name earned her a kick in the stomach, something she didn’t feel because of the sedation. But it was enough to knock the wind out of her.

Blood trickled down her forehead from a cut where a knot had formed after she’d hit the table. She moaned, but the sound of the hissing gas canister drowned it out.

The sounds of a desk scraping against the floor filled the quiet air. After the door was barricaded the person in black slipped through a heating grate and disappeared into the school’s intricate HVAC system.

Five minutes later Emily was pulling into the parking lot to pick up her girlfriend. She was a few minutes early.

The parking lot was fairly empty except for a large tow truck chaining up an SUV on the far side of the school. Two men were standing next to the tow truck arguing.

Emily sent a text to Alison.

**_Your Uber awaits. It comes with a free subscription to a hot brunette with very impatient hands._ **

She waited for a reply, but didn’t get one. She waited for a few minutes and then sent another message.

 ** _Usually you’re the one that comes_** **early.** A seductive winky face emoji drove her point home. ** _What gives?_**

She didn’t get a response. She found it strange considering Alison usually answered her right away. She kept her phone on her at all times in case Emily went into labor.

Emily was starting to get concerned.

**_Everything okay? You finished yet?_ **

Still nothing.

She didn’t like the silence. It made her feel uneasy.

She pulled the car closer to the science building and parked.

**_Alright, I’m coming in after you._ **

Alison was silent.

Emily shoved her phone in her pocket and quickly made her way inside the building. The hallways were quiet. Everyone was so eager to get out for the summer that no one wanted to stay one minute longer than they were forced to. Most of the teachers were gone, too.

The silence gave Emily goosebumps.

When she got closer to the science lab she smelled something foul. It made her stomach flip. She was sensitive to a lot of smells that made her feel sick, but the odor was by far the most pungent thing she’d smelled during her pregnancy.

She stopped outside the science lab. All the lights were off. The small window in the door had been blocked by the inner blinds. But Emily knew in her gut that the room wasn’t empty. She reached for the handle and pushed on the door.

The handle turned, but the door wouldn’t open. She had to apply a decent amount of force to push it open. She was careful not to overexert herself.

The desk slid against the floor as the door was shoved open.

The smell of the gas nearly knocked her off of her feet. How had no one else come by and smelled it?

She threw her arm up in front of her face to cover her nose and her mouth. Her eyes darted around the classroom, her gaze stopping when she saw the glow from the unsent text on Alison’s phone. A few feet away Alison was slumped in the middle of the floor. There were streaks of blood on her face from the cut on her forehead.

“Oh my God.” Emily uttered under her breath. “Alison.”

She pushed her arm against her face and held her breath as she surged forward. She tried to lean over and grab Alison’s arm to pull her towards the hallway, but she couldn’t angle herself properly because of her belly. She carefully sank down to the floor.

Alison’s face was grey. Her lips were blue.

“Ali?” She gently jostled her, trying to stir her to life. The blonde was lifeless. “Baby, wake up.”

She grasped Alison’s cheek. She felt for her pulse. It was faint and fading.

“Help!” She yelled out before covering her mouth again. She tried to control her breaths. “Don’t you dare die on me.” She ordered before screaming for help again.

The door slammed from behind her. She spun around. She pushed herself up and moved towards the exit. The knob was stuck.

Her instincts took over. It was like being on a plane and knowing it was crashing. She wobbled over to the safety equipment and started tearing through it until she found what she was looking for.

Two non-rebreather masks and a pair of eye goggles. Her eyes were already starting to burn.

She sat down next to Alison, carefully moving her, trying not to jostle her neck too much. She remembered from basic first aid that moving people with head trauma could cause injuries to worsen. She secured the mask over Alison’s face, hoping it would be enough to keep her alive.

She put the other mask on herself and then put the goggles over her eyes. Then she reached for her phone to call 911.

“Ali…” Emily huffed, fogging up her face mask. “Hey, just hold on. Hold on for me.”

 _“911…”_ She heard a faint voice through her phone.

She continued to stroke Alison’s cheek as she spoke to the emergency operator. She told the operator they were trapped in the science lab.

Minutes later the principal was kicking in the door to get to them. Several staffers pulled them out as the ambulances and firetrucks filled the parking lot.

Ella Montgomery brought Emily a wheelchair because she could barely stand, but Emily didn’t want to get in it until Alison was taken care of.

Emily squeezed Alison’s hand and told her she loved her, begging her to wake up.

“Please Ali…” She kissed her forehead. “We need you. The baby and I need you…”

She felt Alison’s hand gently squeeze hers back. Alison’s lips moved, softly calling out for Emily as her eyes fluttered.

Emily’s heart jumped.

“Emily…” Alison cringed when she opened her eyes. Her head was killing her, but when she saw Emily she felt like she could breathe again. “Emily…” Her voice was strained.

“I’m here.” Emily moved a matted mess of her bloody hair away from her face.

“It’s not safe.” She groaned.

“We’re safe.” Emily quietly assured her. “It’s okay. We’re safe.”

The question was how long they were going to _stay_ safe. Emily knew it wasn’t an accident. She knew it even before her phone buzzed from inside her pocket with the angry message,

**_Choke on that, bitch. Breathe a word of this to anyone and it’ll be the last breath you ever take._ **

The paramedics tried to pry Emily away from Alison, but she refused to leave her. Her hand was wrapped tightly around Alison’s. She stayed with the blonde as they moved her from the hallway to the back of the ambulance.

By the time they got outside Alison was sitting up. She was dazed, but she was aware and talking. Emily climbed in the ambulance with her. One of the paramedics checked to make sure she was okay.

Emily sat with Alison while they gave her some supplemental oxygen and cleaned the cut on her head. An ugly purple blemish had formed around it. She’d hit the corner of the table hard.

When someone in a blue uniform asked her a question she was visibly shaken. She pulled the clear oxygen mask away from her face long enough to answer what she was being asked.

“I don’t know what happened.” It was only a partial lie.

She knew someone had been in the room with her. But she couldn’t remember anything after she was grabbed.

The officers had cleared the school. Now they were trying to figure out what had happened. The person in black had cleaned up their mess. It looked like Alison had done something shady in the science lab, which was ridiculous.

“Why were you in the classroom alone?” The officer asked.

Alison didn’t want to get her science teacher in trouble. He was the only teacher besides Ella who had never been an asshole to her.

“ _Were_ you alone?” He pressed.

Alison flinched when she heard the question. Her hand tightened around Emily’s. It stoked a rage in Emily. Because someone had tried to hurt her girl. And she was having _none_ of that shit.

“Can you tell me what you remember?” The officer tried a different approach, trying to jog her memory.

Alison couldn’t tell the responding officers the truth. She knew what would happen if she did. It was pitiful that they were at the mercy of someone who had so much control over them. It pissed her off.

“Can you question her later? She needs to rest.” Emily’s snappy tone came out terse. She put her arm around Alison protectively, shielding her from the man with the badge.

“We’re just trying to get to the bottom of it. It’s an unusual situation.” The officer’s face was tight. He looked down at his notes and scribbled something. “Why were you alone with all those chemicals? Were you planning to do something with them?”

Suddenly a “friendly” conversation was a deep dive into her psyche even though she didn’t do anything wrong. Her head snapped up.

“ _Do something_ with them?” Alison gawked at the man. _Unbelievable._ “What, you think I was huffing or something?” Alison moved the mask, snarking in between several heavy breaths.

Emily pushed the mask up against her mouth, forcing her to take in the air that she needed.

“Listen, we know that finals and the end of the school year is a stressful time. It’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed…looking for something to fix it…”

“You think she tried to kill herself?” Emily blurted out angrily at the insinuation of it.

“Excuse me?” Alison lowered the mask again. “I have a hot girlfriend, a baby on the way, and I got into NYU you fucking asshole.”

Emily shot Alison a warning look. She pushed the mask up against her face again and silently warned her,

_Please don’t aggravate the police._

The cop didn’t seem fazed.

“We just want to make sure all aspects of your well-being are being met and that you feel safe.”

Alison had to hold back her rage.

_Of fucking course I don’t feel safe. My girlfriend’s baby-daddy’s psycho sister wants me dead. ‘Safe’ is a laughable term at this point._

“All. Good.” She breathed slowly through the mask. Part of her weakness was an act to get the big bad officer off her back. “Gas must have leaked from somewhere.”

The officer didn’t look satisfied, but he didn’t push it.

As he sauntered away Alison leaned into Emily and laid her head against her shoulder. She reached down with her free hand against Emily’s abdomen to let the baby know that everything was going to be okay.

The little girl had been through so much and she hadn’t even been born yet. She didn’t want her to be born with a negative neurotic personality. She wanted her brave, confident, and optimistic.

“She still alive and kicking?” Alison kept her mask on with one hand and rubbed Emily’s belly with her other hand. She could feel the baby moving. She was such an active little thing.

“She’s good. While they were putting the butterfly bandages on your head they were examining us. Everything looks fine.”

“You could have been killed. You were stupid to play hero.” Alison scowled at her.

“You’re welcome.” Emily replied with bite. She sighed. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

She leaned towards Alison and softly kissed the bruise on her head. She felt Alison jump when her warm lips feathered over the lump there.

Alison closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. She watched the cops and school authorities arguing about something.

“Do they seriously think I tried to _kill_ myself?” Alison huffed. “They are so dumb.”

“Don’t get yourself worked up.” Emily rubbed the space between her shoulder blades. “We don’t need you passing out again.”

“I _should_ pass out again. Right in front of those big dumb oafs. Just to prove a point.” Alison grumbled. “They let people like Wilden run free, but _I’m_ in trouble because of something I didn’t even do.”

“They just have to cover their bases.” Emily tried to calm her down.

“No, they’re looking for someone to blame.” Alison pulled the mask off of her face. “This town will never see me as anything more than a liar and a screw up.”

“Good thing you have your pregnant girlfriend to distract them. I’m all the gossip they need.” Emily reached for her hand.

When she felt Emily’s touch she softened.

“I’m sorry. I’m cranky. My head hurts.” She pushed her body closer to Emily’s. “And I can’t stop thinking about…”

She stopped short, knowing better than to say anything out loud. But she didn’t have to finish her sentence for Emily to know what she was thinking.

_“I can’t stop thinking about the fact that after the baby is born this could be her life. What if she is the one in danger?”_

Emily thought about it every minute of every day. It was bad enough that Alison was being targeted. Seeing her lifeless body in the science room had sent her mind careening into a really dark place. It was strange, but in that split second she had not only been terrified to lose Alison as a partner, but as her child’s mother.

She didn’t know how to wrap her head around the fact that she couldn’t remember life before Alison, and she didn’t want to look at a future without her. It’s like the blonde had woken up a part of her soul that had been sleeping for years.

She wrapped her arms around Alison, careful not to squeeze her too tightly. She’d already been deprived of enough oxygen for the day.

The investigators didn’t find anything tracing back to the attack. The tracks had been covered well. They summed it up to a faulty canister of gas when they found an empty canister in the supply closet.

The EMTs cleared Emily to drive. Alison’s vitals were normal. So they were both free to go.

When they climbed in the car Alison sighed and put her head in her hands. She rubbed her temples and groaned.

Emily squeezed into the driver’s seat. She reached over and touched Alison’s arm.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Emily gazed softly at her.

“I’ve had enough of the hospital.” Alison shook her head. She pulled her sunglasses out of her bag and put them on. “They said I was fine. I just want to get out of here.”

Emily pulled the keys out and slid them into the ignition.

“You said you talked to Isaac this morning?” Alison reached for her seat belt.

“I did.”

“What did he say?”

Emily shifted uncomfortably in the seat. Her back was starting to hurt. She knew she needed to get back home and get in bed.

“He hasn’t seen Courtney in weeks.” She gritted through her teeth.

“Oh…” Alison stiffened in her seat, “That’s…” There was a dip in her brow, but Emily couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear, “…what does that mean?”

“I wish I knew.” Emily licked her lips nervously. “Isaac seems to think she’s spinning out. He’s worried about us. He wants to help.”

“Are we going to let him?”

“I want to. But after what just happened back there…” She gripped the steering wheel. “This was a warning. And he’s all alone in San Antonio. He doesn’t have anyone looking out for him.” She saw the disappointed look on Alison’s face. “She’ll kill him, Alison. If it’s Courtney she will kill him.”

Alison wasn’t sure how to respond. She didn’t know what they were supposed to do. She reached out and rubbed her fingers against the dashboard.

“I feel like we’re at war. Every single day.” Her eyes were watering from the stinging sensation in her head. “And the worst part is that I don’t know what we’re supposed to do here. I look around every corner expecting the worst. I get angry and then upset and then scared. And then I’m back to being pissed again.”

She plopped back against the seat, huffing quietly. Emily reached over without a word and took her hand. Alison squeezed it.

“I just wanted to plan your baby shower.” Alison rubbed her heel against the floorboard. “I just wanted a normal afternoon.”

The ‘normal’ part of the conversation is what struck Emily. Alison’s life would never be normal again. And it was because of her.

“I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of Emily’s mouth before she could stop herself.

Alison sat up, staring at her.

“Why are _you_ sorry? It’s not your fault.”

“But it sort of is. None of this would be happening to you if it wasn’t for me.” She ghosted her finger over the cut on Alison’s head. “It’s not normal. And I’m sorry about that. This pregnancy. These threats. You’ve been pulled in so many different directions.”

“I knew what I was signing up for.” The blonde replied softly. “And even after everything we’ve been through…all the chaos, I’d grab that pen and sign up all over again. You’re worth it.” She smiled, reaching over to touch Emily’s stomach. “Both of you are.” She gently moved her hand across Emily’s abdomen, sparking a smile from the brunette. “We’re so close to the finish line, Em.”

In less than a week they had final exams. A week after that was graduation. Her due date was only a few days after graduation. It was supposed to be a time to feel joy.

Alison wanted so desperately to get to the ‘happily ever after’ part, but Emily knew that things weren’t always that simple. The finish line was relative. The finish line was constantly moving goal posts.

While one chapter was closing, another was beginning. She’d never been nervous about the future before. But she’d also never been madly in love and an expectant mother before. She had a family now. She had everything to lose.

The person watching her from the shadows knew that.

As Emily’s car disappeared around the corner, a figure moved on the school roof. It would have been poetic for them to die as a family. They’d almost met their end in that poison-filled room.

Almost.

Next time they wouldn’t be so lucky.


End file.
